1. Cookie.
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2. Could we please stop the 90210 marathon?
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3. I had a dirty dream
about Andrea Zuckerman.
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4. I'm so confused.
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5. This show is the only thing
getting me through my breakup with Jay.
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6. Oh, I know you're hurting.
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7. But, again, you actually have to date
someone to break up with them.
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8. I like it better under here.
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9. Oh my God. Still with the 90210?
This is getting pathetic.
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10. I'm not gonna say it to her face,
but she needs professional help.
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11. I saw her yesterday wandering
just through the neighborhood
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12. like our grandpa used to.
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13. Near the end.
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14. Guys, stop.
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15. She's going through something.
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16. Something really stupid.
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17. Gwen! I'm right here!
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18. Good. You needed to hear it.
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19. How long am I going to feel this bad?
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20. It takes about half the time
you were in a relationship to get over it.
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21. And since you were never
in a relationship...
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22. You're good.
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23. Leia, come on.
Don't go back into your sad hole.
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24. We came by to give you
your birthday present.
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25. Guys, I love it. How did you know my size?
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26. We got you an extra large
so we can enjoy it too.
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27. Is this chair too small?
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28. Just give Leia our birthday card already.
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29. Inside cat.
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30. Outside cat.
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31. Inside cat. Outside cat. Ins...
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32. No more cat.
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33. I missed you guys.
My sad hole was lonely without you.
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34. I'm not gonna let my breakup with Jay
ruin my birthday.
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35. Not a breakup.
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36. Not a breakup.
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37. Not a breakup.
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38. How many times
do you turn 15 in your life?
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39. Not that many.
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40. I'm over him.
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41. New year, new me.
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42. New Kids On The Block.
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43. I over-corrected.
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44. What's this?
You spelled my name wrong on this card.
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45. How do you not know
how to spell your girlfriend's name?
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46. Let me see that.
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47. Nik!
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48. People are leaving? I just got this right.
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49. One, two, three, four!
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50. Hello, Wisconsin!
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51. Well, Donna and Eric aren't gonna make it
for Leia's birthday.
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52. Eric's upset, but he knew the risks
when he signed up for Space Camp.
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53. Kitty, he fell out of his bunk bed.
It's not exactly Apollo 13.
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54. Well, he is gonna wish
he slept on the bottom bunk
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55. because I am throwing
a classic Kitty Forman birthday bash.
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56. It's you and me, old friend.
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57. We're about to put on a show.
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58. You're planning a kid's party.
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59. So let's try and not
get all stressed out this time.
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60. Don't worry.
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61. I woke up early to get a head start.
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62. Oh my God, it's 7:00 a.m.
I haven't deviled a damn thing!
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63. Well, I did my part.
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64. Took care of the gift.
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65. Twenty dollars.
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66. You did one thing. Good for you.
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67. I'm sorry. I snapped.
It's... Birthdays are fun.
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68. It's gonna be a long day.
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69. Hey there! Hi there! Ho there!
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70. And it just got longer.
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71. Bob. You made it.
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72. You knew about this?
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73. And you didn't, and that's why he's here.
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74. - Hi!
- Hi.
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75. I brought you some fresh Florida oranges.
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76. I used them as a pillow on the plane.
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77. So, if you find any curly hairs in there,
that's me.
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78. Well, I am just gonna put these
in the dishwasher.
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79. There's the birthday girl!
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80. Happy birthday.
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81. I said it first.
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82. Hey, Grandpa Bob.
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83. Ooh! Look at you.
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84. You are so darn beautiful.
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85. Those Pinciotti genes
are strong like a bull.
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86. Bull-something.
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87. That milk's for the party!
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88. I mean, happy birthday, honey.
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89. Happy birthday, kiddo.
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90. Is Grandma all right?
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91. I'd lay low.
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92. If you don't even know
how I spell my name,
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93. what else do you not know about me?
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94. I don't know what I don't know, Nik.
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95. Ask me something about your boobs.
I can draw those on a napkin.
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96. You're buying us lunch on your birthday?
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97. I felt like I needed to thank you guys
for taking care of me this week.
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98. I wasn't too bad, was I?
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99. Oh, you weren't kidding.
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100. I'm glad you finally realized it's dumb
to let a man waste so much of your time.
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101. That's our job.
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102. You're right.
I'm going to have a great birthday.
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103. All that moping around stuff
is in the past.
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104. Good.
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105. 'Cause Jay and Serena just walked in.
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106. This is bad. She's gonna have a relapse.
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107. Yeah. Leia, you don't need this right now.
Let's just get outta here.
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108. Seriously, guys, I'm fine.
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109. I'm gonna go over there
and say hi like a normal person.
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110. How's it going, turkeys?
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111. I like her body language.
Strong, assertive.
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112. She just picked up a pickle.
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113. So today's my birthday.
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114. New year, startin' fresh.
The big one-five.
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115. Aww, that's so cute!
I barely even remember turning 15.
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116. I think I was in the Bahamas.
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117. Me too!
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118. But you're here right now.
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119. No, you're here.
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120. Anywhistle, big party tonight.
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121. My grandma's inviting her bridge club,
so the roof shall be raised.
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122. Actually, I'm so rude.
You guys should come.
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123. - Are you sure?
- Of course.
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124. I want all my friends
and their new girlfriends at my party.
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125. Okay, great. We'll be there.
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126. As will I. Cannot wait.
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127. I just ruined my birthday.
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128. This is where you're supposed to tell me
I didn't just ruin my birthday.
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129. But you did.
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130. This pickle's bad luck!
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131. Don't put your demon pickle near me.
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132. You wanna lose that hand?
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133. You know, it's hard
to take the joy out of a cupcake.
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134. But you did.
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135. Well, if you don't wanna help me,
you can go sit in the living room
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136. and talk to Bob
about his prosthetic testicle.
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137. Why did you have to invite him?
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138. I don't know what you're getting
worked up about. He's Leia's grandpa too.
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139. I blame Eric.
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140. There's only one girl in the world
with Bob as her dad,
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141. and he had to pick her.
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142. Hey there, what's cookin'?
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143. - 'Cause we're in the kitchen.
- Oh.
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144. Damn it.
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145. We said his name three times
and summoned him like Beetlejuice.
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146. I'm gonna make my famous clam dip
for the party.
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147. Oh, that's sweet,
but we have plenty of food for tonight.
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148. I know, but the kids are gonna want
something good.
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149. I was thawing a ham in there.
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150. I'm just excited.
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151. You know, I went all out
on Leia's birthday gift this year.
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152. I got her a karaoke machine.
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153. - Aren't those things expensive?
- Oh yeah.
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154. I left the price tag on.
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155. 'Cause I want her to...
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156. remember how much I love her.
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157. I need a minute!
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158. This guy thinks he can run my party?
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159. Clam my ham? No, sir!
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160. You can rinse off your ham, Kitty.
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161. My 20 bucks is getting its ass kicked
by a karaoke machine.
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162. Well, then, step it up, Red.
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163. You've got twice the balls, act like it.
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164. You guys, I think I figured out
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165. why I invited Jay and his girlfriend
to my party.
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166. You ready?
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167. I'm not over Jay.
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168. - Oh my God. No way.
- What?
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169. I know!
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170. I'm surprised too.
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171. And it's all my fault.
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172. Because, guys...
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173. - I'm Brenda.
- Brenda?
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174. Brenda Walsh, from 90210.
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175. Brenda obsesses over the guy,
but she never goes for the guy.
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176. All my life, people told me
I was running away.
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177. But, really,
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178. I've been running to something.
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179. It's me, isn't it?
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180. It is.
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181. Hey, Leia. I'm DJing a party tonight.
You wanna come? It's gonna be fresh.
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182. Not now, David.
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183. It's because I'm a freshman, isn't it?
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184. So Brenda's the passive,
overly dramatic doormat.
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185. This makes sense now.
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186. I know, right?
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187. But you know who always gets the guy?
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188. Kelly, the popular blonde
with the rich-girl attitude.
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189. All my life, people told me
I was running away.
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190. But, really,
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191. I've been running to something.
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192. It's me, isn't it?
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193. No, bitch. It's me.
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194. - Leia?
- It's Kelly.
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195. Hey, guys. I'm DJing a party tonight.
You wanna come? It's gonna be fresh.
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196. Not now, David.
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197. It's because I'm a freshman, isn't it?
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198. I like it.
Mind if I riff on it a little bit?
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199. Hey, guys. I'm DJing a party.
It's gonna be fresh.
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200. This totally rad breakdancer's
gonna be there. Check it.
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201. Drop that beat.
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202. That's the coolest kid I've ever seen!
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203. Really, dude?
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204. David don't lie.
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205. When Jay and Serena show up at my party,
I'm gonna show 'em what's what.
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206. Kelly-style.
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207. This is why we get paid 30% less than men.
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208. What happened to not obsessing over Jay?
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209. I'm not obsessing.
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210. I'm just gonna change how I look
and how I act and how I think
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211. to win him back.
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212. - Hey! What was that for?
- To snap you out of it.
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213. Dude!
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214. Hey!
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215. Ow. Stop.
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216. I am the wrong audience for this.
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217. Ow!
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218. I got the gift.
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219. - Where's Bob?
- Oh.
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220. Well...
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221. He was driving me crazy, so I...
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222. I put some cold medicine in his iced tea.
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223. And some in his potato salad.
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224. Some more in his pudding.
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225. He just... He wouldn't go down, Red.
It was like... drugging a rhino.
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226. Anyhoo, he's fast asleep upstairs.
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227. Wait till you see what I got Leia.
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228. Bob went expensive, but I went thoughtful.
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229. You sweet, sweet man.
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230. Her own cordless drill.
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231. You stupid, stupid man.
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232. But it's a great gift.
It gives her independence.
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233. She can fix things on her own.
Take care of herself.
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234. Why are you looking at me like that?
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235. Did I not say it was cordless?
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236. Red, you need to think like a teenager.
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237. What did you want when you were 15?
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238. A vaccine for polio.
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239. All right. I'll keep looking.
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240. Man... I must have been really tired.
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241. I fell asleep in the hallway.
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242. Well... you know,
that jet lag can be a killer.
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243. Let me get you some more iced tea.
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244. Ooh!
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245. Somebody brought their appetite.
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246. So which one of my hors d'oeuvres
do you like best?
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247. This clam dip? Love!
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248. Whoopsie.
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249. Okay, I've figured out high heels.
You can let go now.
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250. So you're gonna stand here
and wait for Jay?
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251. Yeah. And when he gets here,
I'm gonna grab him and Kelly his face off.
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252. This is so embarrassing.
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253. I thought I could win back Jay,
but he didn't even care enough to show.
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254. I get it.
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255. No one came to watch me
DJ at the Peach Pit.
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256. Not even Donna Martin.
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257. It's the worst.
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258. What was she like? I mean, between scenes?
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259. What do you mean, "scenes"?
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260. Never mind.
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261. Thank you for coming
to my birthday, David.
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262. - You were always my favorite.
- I'll take it.
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263. Who are you talking to?
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264. Uh, David. Nobody.
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265. This is stupid.
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266. I wasted my whole birthday
thinking about Jay,
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267. and he's clearly moved on.
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268. I'm done being pathetic.
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269. Finally!
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270. Move, he's here! Move, he's here!
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271. Grandpa Bob?
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272. You mean Grandpa Tom Jones.
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273. I'm here to sing your birthday song
on your birthday gift.
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274. You're gonna sing?
In front of my friends? In that jacket?
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275. I'll be over here.
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276. Tom Jones?
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277. More like Tom groans
getting up from the couch. Am I right?
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278. I am right.
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279. Wrong song, but, hey, the show must go on.
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280. I'd like to dedicate this song
to my beautiful granddaughter, Leia.
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281. This one's for you.
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282. Oh no.
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283. Hey, it worked out. It's a birthday song.
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284. This is not a birthday song.
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285. We'll ride it out together.
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286. This is our song.
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287. It was playing on the radio the first time
you let me touch your butt.
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288. Oh, you remembered!
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289. Wanna get some air?
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290. Oh God, yes.
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291. Bob. Nobody's relaxed.
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292. Seems like you might have had
a rough night, kiddo.
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293. I've only been 15 for a day,
and so far I don't like it.
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294. I mean, nothing's gone right.
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295. It's like I don't know what I'm doing.
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296. Well,
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297. everything's not gonna go right.
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298. Give yourself a break.
You're half dumb-ass.
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299. It's just...
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300. Everyone else seems to have it all
figured out and I'm just making it all up.
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301. Well, I hate to break it to you, kid,
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302. but we're all just making it up
as we go along.
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303. So don't be so hard on yourself.
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304. Thanks, Grandpa.
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305. Oh. Hey, wait.
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306. Don't you want your present?
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307. A car? You got me a car?
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308. It belonged to your father.
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309. Tomorrow, we'll get your learner's permit,
and I'll teach you how to drive. Okay?
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310. Thank you, Grandpa.
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311. This is the best present I've ever gotten.
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312. Oh...
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313. Be sure to say that to Grandpa Bob.
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314. Happy birthday, kiddo.
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315. You gave her the Vista Cruiser?
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316. Man, you really creamed my jeans.
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317. Can't you even lose like a normal person?
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318. Now, Red, it wasn't a competition.
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319. I wanted to do something nice for Leia.
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320. You guys are lucky
to spend all this time with her.
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321. I don't want her
to forget about her ol' Grandpa Bob.
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322. Oh.
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323. Damn it.
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324. You're a good man, Bob.
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325. Annoying as hell, but a good man.
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326. Leia is lucky to have you.
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327. You guys are makin' me emotional.
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328. And I never cry.
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329. Bob, you are welcome here anytime.
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330. Ooh.
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331. I gotta see a man about a clam.
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332. "Anytime"?
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333. Red, he's family.
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334. Eric!
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335. Jay?
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336. Hey. Mind if I come in?
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337. Okay, but the party's over.
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338. Yeah. I'm sorry I missed it.
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339. It just didn't feel right
to show up with Serena.
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340. I still don't know why I invited her.
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341. - I just wanted you to be there.
- I wanted to be there too.
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342. But... at least I can wish you
a happy birthday.
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343. You know? Before it's too late.
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344. Whoa. Where did that come from?
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345. I guess I'm just
making it up as I go along.
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346. - You need to break up with Serena.
- Serena who?
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347. Hey, you wanna go for a drive?
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348. Yeah, but I don't have a car.
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349. Not a problem.
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350. - Hey, we kissed.
- I know.
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351. This is the best birthday.
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352. Just be cool.
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353. You mean, for the first time in my life?
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