1. - We're going to sing and have some fun…Copy !req
2. You smell good.Copy !req
3. Oh, it is the Hellmann's.Copy !req
4. Was that a car door?Copy !req
5. That was a car door. I got it. I got it!Copy !req
6. I got it! I got it!Copy !req
7. I got it! I got it! I got it!Copy !req
8. Oh my God. Mom, I didn't even knock.Copy !req
9. Mom.Copy !req
10. Mom, you're motorboating me.Copy !req
11. Dad.Copy !req
12. Son.Copy !req
13. Hug?Copy !req
14. Nah.Copy !req
15. Hey, Grandma. Hey, Grandpa.Copy !req
16. Leia. My grandbaby.Copy !req
17. Hey, kiddo.
Boy, you sure have gotten tall.Copy !req
18. Oh, and congratulations.
Those buds are blooming.Copy !req
19. Yours… look good too?Copy !req
20. Why, I bet you're a holy terror
on the basketball court.Copy !req
21. I hear you got your mom's jump shot
and your dad'sCopy !req
22. last name.Copy !req
23. - I'm gonna take a bathroom break.
- Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
24. Just be careful with the faucets.
The water comes out, like, scalding hot.Copy !req
25. It's a normal temperature, Eric.Copy !req
26. You've just got that sensitive baby skin.Copy !req
27. You know,Copy !req
28. I am so excited
about this Fourth of July weekend.Copy !req
29. We are gonna grill weenies,
watch the fireworks…Copy !req
30. I even rented The Little Mermaid.Copy !req
31. Oh. Thanks, Mom,
but she's not really into that anymore.Copy !req
32. Our little mermaid… got her period.Copy !req
33. - God, Eric!Copy !req
34. Don't worry, honey. I got it.Copy !req
35. Hello, Wisconsin!Copy !req
36. Who wants a warm snickerdoodle?Copy !req
37. I do. It's a little weird
that you're smelling my hair, Mom.Copy !req
38. I haven't seen you since Christmas,
so I will smell you however I want,Copy !req
39. and you're fine with it.Copy !req
40. So, Donna, Eric sent us
the review of your new book.Copy !req
41. We read it.Copy !req
42. Oh, you read my book?Copy !req
43. No, the review.Copy !req
44. Thanks, Mrs. F.Copy !req
45. Aww…Copy !req
46. - I wish you'd call me Mom, you know?
- I know.Copy !req
47. Okay.Copy !req
48. Someday.Copy !req
49. This weekend.Copy !req
50. So, Eric, how are things
at the university?Copy !req
51. Going great. I'm an adjunct professor now,Copy !req
52. which means I got
a permanent parking spaceCopy !req
53. for my bicycle.Copy !req
54. That's what happens
when your course is super popular, Dad.Copy !req
55. "The Religion of Star Wars"?Copy !req
56. Oh yeah.Copy !req
57. This country's gonna lose the next war.Copy !req
58. Not if it's an intergalactic battle
between good and evil.Copy !req
59. Hey, I'm gonna go shoot some hoops.Copy !req
60. Hey, Leia, tell your grandparents
what we're doing this summer.Copy !req
61. Oh, we're going to—Copy !req
62. We're going to Huntsville, Alabama,
for a little father-daughter Space Camp.Copy !req
63. Just the two of us… for two weeks.Copy !req
64. Houston, permission to have fun, over.Copy !req
65. Houston, do you read me, over?Copy !req
66. - Permission granted.
- Yeah!Copy !req
67. But you… you didn't say "over."Copy !req
68. - Mom?
- Okay, Leia, go shoot some baskets.Copy !req
69. I don't need you
to see your dad get any nerdier.Copy !req
70. Space Camp.Copy !req
71. Do you get to put on
a Buck Rogers costume?Copy !req
72. Nah. Only if you buy
the Command Module experience.Copy !req
73. Which I did!Copy !req
74. Leia doesn't seem like she wants to go.Copy !req
75. I think she might be
at that age where she needs space.Copy !req
76. I'm giving her space… camp.Copy !req
77. - Space Camp.
- Eric's having a hard time with Leia.Copy !req
78. It's a tough age… 38.Copy !req
79. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
80. All I know is that I'm going to love her
and stand behind her, no matter what.Copy !req
81. That is a great idea.Copy !req
82. Because when you stand
behind your kids, it's easier—Copy !req
83. To put your foot in their ass.Copy !req
84. We got it, Dad. Thanks.Copy !req
85. Hello.Copy !req
86. What are you doing, creeper?Copy !req
87. Oh, nothing weird!Copy !req
88. I was just standing outside your window
and watching you singCopy !req
89. and wondering
what it would be like to… be you.Copy !req
90. I'll go now.Copy !req
91. Unless you want to hear
a cool bootleg I got in Chicago.Copy !req
92. Oh, I'm listening.Copy !req
93. Yeah, it's, uh, pretty major.Copy !req
94. Big-time bootleg.Copy !req
95. The bootiest of legs.Copy !req
96. Just go get it.Copy !req
97. On it.Copy !req
98. Please be here when I get back.Copy !req
99. So this was your mom's old room,
and your dad lived next door?Copy !req
100. I bet they boned in here all the time.Copy !req
101. Explains a lot.Copy !req
102. Sometimes,Copy !req
103. late at night,Copy !req
104. when everything's quiet,Copy !req
105. I can still hear the…Copy !req
106. Sorry. I love making people
feel uncomfortable.Copy !req
107. You're really good at it.Copy !req
108. Anyway, tell me about Chicago.
What are you into?Copy !req
109. Me? Uh, a lot of stuff.Copy !req
110. School.Copy !req
111. School's a big one.Copy !req
112. And I'm a pretty big deal in Debate Club.Copy !req
113. That's not up for debate.Copy !req
114. Yeah, I'm not popular.Copy !req
115. Good.Copy !req
116. Popular people suck.Copy !req
117. Yeah, they really do.Copy !req
118. Ooh, this part's dope.Copy !req
119. Damn it, Gwen!Copy !req
120. Turn that crap down. I'm trying to shave.Copy !req
121. Older brother. Different dads. He's cool.Copy !req
122. Mostly 'cause he has a van,
and he's fun to mess with.Copy !req
123. - Watch this.Copy !req
124. Seriously, Gwen. I almost nicked my nerps.Copy !req
125. This whiny vagina music is bumming me out!Copy !req
126. - Oh yeah, Nate?Copy !req
127. Me and my new friend are gonna
start a band and call it Whiny Vagina.Copy !req
128. I'm gonna start a band
and call it That's Stupid.Copy !req
129. Nice.Copy !req
130. Damn it, Gwen!Copy !req
131. I love having the house full again.Copy !req
132. It just… It fills me with joy.Copy !req
133. And then you leave, and it's sad.Copy !req
134. And then winter comes.Copy !req
135. And I visit Mom's grave.Copy !req
136. And I tell her how much fun it was
when the house was full.Copy !req
137. - So can I have the syrup now?
- Oh, of course.Copy !req
138. Morning. Bye.Copy !req
139. Whoa. What the hell is that thing
in your nose?Copy !req
140. Uh, a nose ring?Copy !req
141. Your move, baby skin.Copy !req
142. - How did this happen?
- Gwen gave it to me.Copy !req
143. Oh! Okay, it was Gwen.
Cool. I didn't know it was Gwen.Copy !req
144. Question before you leave.Copy !req
145. Who is Gwen, and why is she
poking holes in your perfect face?Copy !req
146. She lives next door,
which is where I'm going right now.Copy !req
147. - Are her parents home?
- No, but her older brother is.Copy !req
148. Honey, you're really
not helping your case.Copy !req
149. Dad, I'll be 20 feet away.Copy !req
150. Okay, you can go, but you have to be
home in time for fireworks.Copy !req
151. - Okay?
- I'll try.Copy !req
152. Ah, ah, ah, ah!Copy !req
153. As Master Yoda said—Copy !req
154. - Why?Copy !req
155. As Master Yoda said,
"Do or do not. There is no try."Copy !req
156. Master Yoda was a puppet from a fake
world with some guy's hand up his butt.Copy !req
157. Now you're just being hurtful.Copy !req
158. Ah, teenagers!Copy !req
159. I feel for you, son.Copy !req
160. But, on the other hand,Copy !req
161. payback's a bitch.Copy !req
162. Uno.Copy !req
163. I think you're only allowed
to drop one card.Copy !req
164. Excuse me?Copy !req
165. Cool basement.Copy !req
166. It's a dump.Copy !req
167. No offense.Copy !req
168. Ozzie and I met last year in detention.Copy !req
169. Tell her what you did.Copy !req
170. I told my math teacher
his wife was cheating on him.Copy !req
171. She was making out with some dude at IHOP.Copy !req
172. - That's horrible.
- I know.Copy !req
173. IHOP.Copy !req
174. Show some class.Copy !req
175. You're not gonna believe what happened.
It's the best thing ever!Copy !req
176. That's what you said
when the McRib came back.Copy !req
177. I thought it was gone forever, Nik.Copy !req
178. Aww! You were scared?Copy !req
179. Oh, babe.Copy !req
180. Hey, new girl.Copy !req
181. Hey, boy.Copy !req
182. Man…?Copy !req
183. I don't know how
the whole puberty thing is going for you.Copy !req
184. Probably great.Copy !req
185. Leia, this is Jay.Copy !req
186. Please place all your zippers and buttons
in their upright and locked positions.Copy !req
187. Hey, not cool, Gwen. I'm just doing
a little get-to-know-you chitchat.Copy !req
188. So,Copy !req
189. are you spiritual?Copy !req
190. I am.Copy !req
191. You're making a face.Copy !req
192. But that would have worked on me.Copy !req
193. Can I tell my awesome story now?Copy !req
194. So we were just chilling in my van.Copy !req
195. - Why does he always get to sit in front?
- I called shotgun.Copy !req
196. - But I'm your girlfriend.
- Yeah, but he's my best friend.Copy !req
197. - Bro.
- Bro.Copy !req
198. Bro.Copy !req
199. Bro.Copy !req
200. Oh my God. I turned down a senior for you.Copy !req
201. I'm sorry, babe,
but you're both important to me.Copy !req
202. But Jay's had my back
for the past 12 years,Copy !req
203. and you've had my front
for the last six months. I can't choose.Copy !req
204. Hey. Are you here to pick up the keg
from Mama's Discount Liquors?Copy !req
205. - Yes.
- Yes.Copy !req
206. And you prepaid, right?Copy !req
207. - Yes.
- Yes.Copy !req
208. Sweet.Copy !req
209. Happy Fourth.Copy !req
210. - Bro!
- Bro!Copy !req
211. - Bro.
- Bro.Copy !req
212. - Bro. Bro!
- Bro. Bro!Copy !req
213. - Bro!
- Bro.Copy !req
214. - Bro.
- Bro.Copy !req
215. They were like this the whole ride.Copy !req
216. Come on, babe.
It's a Fourth of July miracle.Copy !req
217. With beer!Copy !req
218. Why are we still talking?
Let's tap that keg and get stupid!Copy !req
219. - Yeah.
- Oh no.Copy !req
220. We don't have a tap.Copy !req
221. And, without a tap,
the beer is… is trapped.Copy !req
222. - Would a kiss make it better?
- Not unless you have a mouth full of beer.Copy !req
223. - Do you?
- No, I don't.Copy !req
224. This feels weird.Copy !req
225. Very different.Copy !req
226. Well, I'm having fun.Copy !req
227. Why is it so smoky?Copy !req
228. Oh God, the popcorn!Copy !req
229. Enjoying yourselves, kids?Copy !req
230. You're upstairs people now.Copy !req
231. I knew it would happen.Copy !req
232. Just not this soon.Copy !req
233. Quit worrying, Eric. Leia will be fine.Copy !req
234. So now you can tell the future?Copy !req
235. Where were you when I bought
those slippery brown shoes?Copy !req
236. I couldn't get up the ramp at the airport.Copy !req
237. Okay, Eric.Copy !req
238. No more Zima for you.Copy !req
239. Yeah, you're right. I'm… I'm flying.Copy !req
240. I saved most of it.Copy !req
241. Ah. Thanks, Mom.Copy !req
242. "Mom."Copy !req
243. You see how easy it is, Donna?Copy !req
244. Can't you just say it?Copy !req
245. Nah. Feels forced.Copy !req
246. Come on, Mom, just drop it.Copy !req
247. Nah.Copy !req
248. Feels forced.Copy !req
249. Kids versus beer.Copy !req
250. It's a tale as old as time.Copy !req
251. It happened to our parents
and our parents' parents.Copy !req
252. The kids on the Mayflower.Copy !req
253. Ozzie. You're killing me, man.
I'm trying to think here.Copy !req
254. I know. I can smell it.Copy !req
255. Wait, why can't we just
go back to Mama's and get a tap?Copy !req
256. We've all tried to buy from her,
but she's tough.Copy !req
257. I mean, I even hit her with the,Copy !req
258. "Hey, girl."Copy !req
259. Nothing.Copy !req
260. - What if we get a laser?
- We're not getting a laser.Copy !req
261. Well, I guess that's it.
We tried everything.Copy !req
262. You said one idea, and it was stupid.Copy !req
263. You're stupid!Copy !req
264. You're all stupid!
You hate beer and you hate America.Copy !req
265. - Baby?
- Yeah?Copy !req
266. Are you feeling frustrated?Copy !req
267. Yeah.Copy !req
268. - Is this why you're lashing out at others?
- Yeah.Copy !req
269. How about tomorrow we go into the woods,
and I watch you do karate on a tree?Copy !req
270. - I'd really like that.
- Oh.Copy !req
271. Are you dill weeds finished?Copy !req
272. Leia, you should buy the tap.
Mama doesn't know you.Copy !req
273. Oh yeah. You totally could.Copy !req
274. Plus, your eyes are crazy pretty,
which won't really help get the tap,Copy !req
275. but it's something I noticed.Copy !req
276. - Hey, girl.Copy !req
277. Leia, it would be so badass.Copy !req
278. I guess I have done
some pretty crazy things.Copy !req
279. One time at the beach,
a seagull stole my sandwich,Copy !req
280. and, under my breath,
I… called her "bitch."Copy !req
281. You know what? I'm in.Copy !req
282. All right. New girl is sick.Copy !req
283. - To the van!
- Pause.Copy !req
284. This isn't gonna work.Copy !req
285. I'm pretty sure OshKosh B'gosh here
is gonna get carded.Copy !req
286. Good point.Copy !req
287. I have an idea.Copy !req
288. You sure you want to be drinking
in your condition, hon?Copy !req
289. Oh, it's…Copy !req
290. It's for my husband.
He… He got a keg for the baby shower.Copy !req
291. Oh, fancy.Copy !req
292. - That'll be $39.50.
- Okay.Copy !req
293. I'm no lady doctor, but I think
something's wrong with the baby.Copy !req
294. Nice try.Copy !req
295. I'm sick of you kids.
I'm calling the cops.Copy !req
296. Put the phone down, Mama.Copy !req
297. Shut up.Copy !req
298. Fine, but when the cops get here,Copy !req
299. how are you gonna explain to them
why you gave a keg to a bunch of kids?Copy !req
300. It wasn't me. It was Wade.Copy !req
301. Mama!Copy !req
302. Either way, you lose your liquor license.Copy !req
303. So put the phone down, sell me the tap,
and we all have a nice Fourth of July.Copy !req
304. What are you, some sort of lawyer?Copy !req
305. Debate Club.
First place, junior regionals.Copy !req
306. It was over before it started.Copy !req
307. To Leia, the Mama slayer!Copy !req
308. To Leia!Copy !req
309. And to Mrs. Zapolski.Copy !req
310. My Debate Club coach,
for pushing me so damn hard.Copy !req
311. To Mrs. Zapolski!Copy !req
312. Wow. Look, Nik, a shooting star.
Make a wish.Copy !req
313. That's a firework, babe.Copy !req
314. Man, you were such a badass tonight.
I didn't know you had it in you.Copy !req
315. Neither did I, but I love this feeling.Copy !req
316. I feel free and happy.
Wish I could stay for the summer.Copy !req
317. Then stay.Copy !req
318. My dad will never let me.Copy !req
319. When my parents split up,Copy !req
320. the school shrink basically told me
that everything was gonna suck forever,Copy !req
321. and I was like, "Nope. Not this girl."Copy !req
322. So I went home, bleached my hair
over the washing machine,Copy !req
323. cut up my jeans
and decided that this is my life,Copy !req
324. and it's never gonna suck.Copy !req
325. This is gonna sound so dorky,Copy !req
326. but… I'm interested in
us becoming best friends,Copy !req
327. so how do we make that happen?Copy !req
328. Stay for the summer.Copy !req
329. And you can drop the dorky disclaimer.
It's implied.Copy !req
330. Oh great.Copy !req
331. Now she's missed the fireworks
and the weenies.Copy !req
332. Now they're sitting on a plate
all cold and shriveled just like my heart.Copy !req
333. Oh, Eric.Copy !req
334. The hair thing,
it's still a little weird, Mom.Copy !req
335. Know what the worst part is?
I should be treasuring time with Leia.Copy !req
336. Instead, I mean,
I… can't wait for it to end.Copy !req
337. Oh, sweetie.Copy !req
338. It ends when you die.Copy !req
339. Leia Tatooine Forman.Copy !req
340. - Her middle name is Anne.
- Know what? I never agreed to that.Copy !req
341. Where have you been?
Oh my God. Is that beer?Copy !req
342. Yeah. And I spilled the rest
coming down the water tower.Copy !req
343. The… water tower? What the hell?Copy !req
344. Eric, let me handle this.Copy !req
345. The water tower? What the hell?Copy !req
346. Now, this is my kind of fireworks.Copy !req
347. Yes, the water tower.Copy !req
348. And I had a great time
and I don't want it to end.Copy !req
349. So I know you're not
gonna like me saying this,Copy !req
350. but… I want to stay in Point Place
for the summer.Copy !req
351. This is my life,
and I'm done letting it suck.Copy !req
352. - Leia.
- Yeah, go.Copy !req
353. Just unload, baby. Both barrels. Go.Copy !req
354. - That took courage. I'm impressed.
- What?Copy !req
355. Th-This is a ridiculous idea.Copy !req
356. - Leia.
- Mom, just go, preach.Copy !req
357. You are welcome to stay here
if that's what you want.Copy !req
358. Oh my God! What's happening?Copy !req
359. Kitty.Copy !req
360. I guess that's what we want.Copy !req
361. Dad, you guys always talk aboutCopy !req
362. the amazing times
you had with your friends.Copy !req
363. I want that. I want amazing.Copy !req
364. Listen, pal. In the space of one day,Copy !req
365. you've gotten pierced, you've gotten beer,
and you've gottenCopy !req
366. extremely snippy.Copy !req
367. You've turned into someone
that I don't know anymore.Copy !req
368. So no. You know what? You can forget it.Copy !req
369. I knew you were gonna be like this.Copy !req
370. I'm not getting in that car tomorrow!
You can't make me!Copy !req
371. Oh, you're getting in that car
or my foot is getting in your ass!Copy !req
372. - Oh, Eric.
- So bad.Copy !req
373. I have never been prouder.Copy !req
374. It's like watching you hit
your first home run.Copy !req
375. If you had ever done that.Copy !req
376. You okay?Copy !req
377. I can't believe it.Copy !req
378. I study Star Wars my entire life,
and in my moment of truth,Copy !req
379. I turn into my evil father.Copy !req
380. I've thought about it.Copy !req
381. Leia staying isn't the craziest idea.
Your parents can watch her.Copy !req
382. Were you not here with me in the '70s?Copy !req
383. They are not the best watchers.Copy !req
384. She's a great kid.Copy !req
385. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
386. We can trust her.Copy !req
387. I know.Copy !req
388. So what, then?Copy !req
389. I just…Copy !req
390. I mean, I can't stand this feeling.
She doesn't need me anymore.Copy !req
391. I mean, she was my little buddy,
and now she's likeCopy !req
392. a stranger.Copy !req
393. She's not a stranger.
She's just… growing up.Copy !req
394. I don't like it.Copy !req
395. What? But you're so good
at hiding your emotions.Copy !req
396. Eric, it's gonna be okay.Copy !req
397. We have our whole livesCopy !req
398. because your parents
gave us the space to find each other.Copy !req
399. Really?Copy !req
400. You lived 20 feet away. I'm pretty sure
we would have found each other.Copy !req
401. Hey.Copy !req
402. What?Copy !req
403. - Oh, what happened to the nose ring?
- It was a magnet.Copy !req
404. I sneezed and it went down the drain.Copy !req
405. Ah.Copy !req
406. Well, I'm… I'm heartbroken.Copy !req
407. Back when I was your age,Copy !req
408. my friends and I pretty much
lived down in this basement.Copy !req
409. We'd kill time, listen to music,
do… other things.Copy !req
410. Sitting on those stairs right there
when I fell in love with your mom.Copy !req
411. Oh God. Did you do it on those stairs too?Copy !req
412. No.Copy !req
413. No.Copy !req
414. Look, I've been thinking about it, and…Copy !req
415. You should stay… for the summer.Copy !req
416. - Are you for real?
- Yeah.Copy !req
417. If anyone deserves some… amazing,
it's you.Copy !req
418. Oh my God, Dad. Thank you.
Sorry I was kind of a jerk.Copy !req
419. Well, you were
surprisingly good at it.Copy !req
420. But, you know, you're…Copy !req
421. You're good at everything.Copy !req
422. I'll miss you, pal.Copy !req
423. I love you so much, okay?Copy !req
424. Are you smelling my hair?Copy !req
425. No.Copy !req
426. 'Cause that would be weird.Copy !req
427. Okay.Copy !req
428. So just remember
our phone number hasn't changed, okay?Copy !req
429. Don't worry, honey. I got it.Copy !req
430. Again.Copy !req
431. Okay, babe.Copy !req
432. My baby boy.Copy !req
433. Oh, uh… Mom.Copy !req
434. Shh!Copy !req
435. I'm listening to your heartbeat.Copy !req
436. Look. Okay.Copy !req
437. Love you, Le-Le.Copy !req
438. Bye, Mom.Copy !req
439. Don't worry. We're gonna have fun.Copy !req
440. You ever cleaned an oven?Copy !req
441. Good luck.Copy !req
442. And one more thing, Leia.
This one's… really important.Copy !req
443. With your new friends, I want you
to hang out in Grandpa's basementCopy !req
444. as much as possible.Copy !req
445. No. Uh-uh. No way.Copy !req
446. It is the safest place for her.Copy !req
447. That's right, Mom. That's so right.Copy !req
448. Nicely played, son.Copy !req
449. I learned from the best.Copy !req
450. Nobody likes an ass-kisser.Copy !req
451. I love you too, Dad.Copy !req
452. Bye, Mom.Copy !req
453. She said "Mom."Copy !req
454. I win.Copy !req
455. That's why you don't mess with a pro.Copy !req
456. Well, I have to make a shopping list.Copy !req
457. The kids are gonna want snacks.Copy !req
458. Don't feed them, Kitty.Copy !req
459. That's how it started the first time.Copy !req
460. Hey. Me and my friends
are going up to the lake.Copy !req
461. Hold on.Copy !req
462. - Who are you?
- I'm Jay.Copy !req
463. - Jay Kelso.
- No!Copy !req
464. Uh-uh!Copy !req
465. No way!Copy !req
466. Buuuurn!Copy !req
467. Ahh!Copy !req
468. See you met my boy here, huh?
Look at this guy. Look at him.Copy !req
469. Look, he's got his dad's looks
and his mom's brains.Copy !req
470. Straight A's last year.Copy !req
471. Sweet Lord, it's evolving.Copy !req
472. Hey, you kids. You have fun now, okay?Copy !req
473. Oh, and if you jump off that cliff,Copy !req
474. do it naked.Copy !req
475. Okay? 'Cause when you hit the water
at the right angle,Copy !req
476. it's like doing it with a lake.Copy !req
477. Hello, Michael.Copy !req
478. Hey, girl.Copy !req
479. Beautiful!Copy !req
480. - Well, that felt… toned and warm.
- Oh.Copy !req
481. So, Red,Copy !req
482. we need to talk about your granddaughter's
intentions with my boy.Copy !req
483. No, I'm just kidding ya.
Come on. Let's hug it out.Copy !req
484. What do you think?Copy !req
485. Michael, let's go!Copy !req
486. Hi, Kitty.Copy !req
487. Damn, Jackie, will you just
give me a minute to enjoy this?Copy !req
488. Oh my God.Copy !req
489. The vein on Red's forehead
is about to explode.Copy !req
490. Gross! I don't want old guy blood
all over my wedding outfit.Copy !req
491. You're getting married?Copy !req
492. Remarried.Copy !req
493. - Yeah, it's our second remarriage.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
494. - This one's gonna stick, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
495. Jackie.Copy !req
496. White, honey?Copy !req
497. Really?Copy !req
498. It's before Labor Day.Copy !req
499. And, if people think it's our first time,
we'll get better gifts.Copy !req
500. Oh! FYI, we're registered
at Bloomingdale's,Copy !req
501. and I will judge.Copy !req
502. - Let's go, Michael!
- Oh God!Copy !req
503. Well, let's just make the best of it.Copy !req
504. I am heading to the marketCopy !req
505. 'cause I'm going to get Fritos,
Tostitos, Doritos. All the "itos."Copy !req
506. I am back, baby!Copy !req
507. Son of a bitch.Copy !req
508. Okay, kids, the basement is all yours.Copy !req
509. Lights on, shirts on, and no dancing.Copy !req
510. No dancing.
You're like the guy from Footloose.Copy !req
511. No dancing, you guys.Copy !req
512. Babe, you can fit three of your basements
in this basement.Copy !req
513. That sounds like a lot of work, Nik.Copy !req
514. Let's just use this basement.Copy !req
515. Don't you love all this old furniture?Copy !req
516. Yeah, all we need are some throw pillows
and a tetanus shot.Copy !req
517. Mrs. Forman, your home is so warm
and inviting.Copy !req
518. I mean, I can't wait to spend
all summer inside of it.Copy !req
519. What is wrong with you?Copy !req
520. Anyway… Okay.Copy !req
521. Now, if you kids get bored, I found
some old records and games of your dad's,Copy !req
522. and a few magazines
that I don't think he wanted me to see,Copy !req
523. but I got rid of them.Copy !req
524. They were all redheads.Copy !req
525. He sure has a type!Copy !req
526. Anyhoo, you guys have fun.Copy !req
527. Whoa, this must be from a Nintendo Zero.Copy !req
528. No way.Copy !req
529. Your grandma just hooked us up.Copy !req
530. - No way.
- Hell yeah.Copy !req
531. Totally.Copy !req
532. What is it?Copy !req
533. Best summer ever!Copy !req
534. Sign me up!Copy !req
535. But seriously, what is it?Copy !req
536. One, two, three, four!Copy !req
537. It's the summer. Let's have fun.
We should do whatever we want. Right?Copy !req
538. Wrong.Copy !req
539. - You know what I want?
- Don't say Jay.Copy !req
540. Jay.Copy !req
541. - You are banned from this house. Get out.
- No!Copy !req
542. Donna, it's Kitty!
Your daughter is about to have sex!Copy !req
543. Where is she?Copy !req
544. Wait, so Dad wasn't as smooth
as he says he was?Copy !req
545. Let's just say you're lucky you exist.Copy !req
546. Hey, which one of you yelled at my kids?Copy !req
547. I don't know which ones are yours,
but they deserved it.Copy !req
548. That's Gwen and Nate, and thanks.Copy !req
549. I was pregnant with him for ten months.Copy !req
550. The doctor said it was okay,
but I don't think it was.Copy !req
551. I think you might be having
a reaction to one of my Lip Smackers.Copy !req
552. Really?Copy !req
553. - I want to come out to your grandmother.
- I have an interview tomorrow.Copy !req
554. - Do you have any references?
- Oh, my bosses all loved me.Copy !req
555. But they are dead.Copy !req
556. I'm gaaaay!Copy !req
557. I said, good day.Copy !req