1. Well, Miss Kitty, thank you so
much for having lunch with me.Copy !req
2. Well, I am always up for a saladCopy !req
3. and a martini in
the middle of the day.Copy !req
4. You didn't have a salad.Copy !req
5. Well, olives and
onions are almost a salad.Copy !req
6. Well, I'm just glad I can come
to you with all my problems.Copy !req
7. Well, sure you can, Fez. You
can talk to me about anything.Copy !req
8. Just to double-check,
are you sure it's normalCopy !req
9. for one of them to hang
lower than the other?Copy !req
10. Well, of course, Fez!Copy !req
11. Nobody's ears are
perfectly symmetrical.Copy !req
12. Kitty Forman?Copy !req
13. Marsha Sullivan!Copy !req
14. How are you? And how
is that husband of yours?Copy !req
15. Great.
He lost 3,000 pounds,Copy !req
16. when I took his
Mercedes in the divorce.Copy !req
17. Oh, newly divorced,
what a shame.Copy !req
18. And they say
fourth time's a charm.Copy !req
19. Well, you know what,
you should come over.Copy !req
20. It sounds like we have
a lot of catching up to do.Copy !req
21. I'd love that!
I'll bring a bottle of wine.Copy !req
22. Oh, well, that is terrific!Copy !req
23. I can't wait to see you!Copy !req
24. Slut.
Tight-ass.Copy !req
25. Ah, Mrs. Sullivan, hello!Copy !req
26. What can these magic hands
do for you today?Copy !req
27. Actually, I was thinking
of trying something new.Copy !req
28. Well, perhaps we
should rinse and repeat.Copy !req
29. Hello, Wisconsin!Copy !req
30. Donna, this is gonna be your first
birthday since breaking up with Eric.Copy !req
31. You know what that means,
no crappy giftsCopy !req
32. to return to
the science-fiction store.Copy !req
33. Yeah, I mean, I guess
it'll be kind of a reliefCopy !req
34. not to have to give him
his birthday spanking.Copy !req
35. He made you spank
him on your birthday?Copy !req
36. Yeah, and then he danced
around in his underwear going,Copy !req
37. "Happy birthday to me!"Copy !req
38. Sorry to keep you from work.Copy !req
39. Oh, don't worry, I already called
in and said I was having sex.Copy !req
40. Oh. Hello.Copy !req
41. Oh, my God.
Fez just banged an old...Copy !req
42. smobile in
the driveway with his bike.Copy !req
43. Marsha, I would like you
to meet my friends.Copy !req
44. Friends, I would
like you to meetCopy !req
45. the most ferocious
lover on two legs.Copy !req
46. Which by the way,
was new for me.Copy !req
47. It's like watching somebody
kiss their grandmother.Copy !req
48. Ooh, my nana
don't kiss like that!Copy !req
49. Mrs. Sullivan,
may I ask you something?Copy !req
50. Was I good?Copy !req
51. Good enough.Copy !req
52. Yes!Copy !req
53. Nice job, Fez. Combine
two of your favorite pastimes.Copy !req
54. Sex and antiquing.Copy !req
55. You know, for years older
men have dated younger women.Copy !req
56. And now it's finally okay for a
younger man to date an older woman.Copy !req
57. I guess what I'm
trying to say is, gross!Copy !req
58. Say what you want,
but Mrs. Sullivan is soCopy !req
59. much more passionate
than girls your age.Copy !req
60. You kids just lie there.Copy !req
61. Mrs. Sullivan, she moves,
she shakes, she makes noises.Copy !req
62. Are you sure she
wasn't having a stroke?Copy !req
63. Hey, so I was
thinking we could all go inCopy !req
64. together on
a birthday present for Donna?Copy !req
65. But I don't know
what to get her.Copy !req
66. Oh, cool, there's
an echo inside my head!Copy !req
67. Hello!Copy !req
68. Balls!Copy !req
69. Awesome!Copy !req
70. You know, we could give Donna
make-up, but that would be a waste.Copy !req
71. Might as well just give
a dog a snow blower.Copy !req
72. Oh, Kelso did that once.Copy !req
73. Oh, no, wait.
He gave his snow blower a dog.Copy !req
74. That was when he was in his
"machines should have pets" phase.Copy !req
75. Bongos!Copy !req
76. Ecuador!Copy !req
77. Is there anybody in there?Copy !req
78. Oh, my God.
The echo just said yes.Copy !req
79. You know what?
I think I've had enough.Copy !req
80. You know, once I caught Donna
using lip liner on her eyebrows.Copy !req
81. Seriously, it's like being
best friends with Phyllis Diller.Copy !req
82. How about I get something and
we can all give it to Donna together?Copy !req
83. Together.Copy !req
84. Man, I'm not getting the echo.Copy !req
85. Hello?Copy !req
86. There it is.Copy !req
87. Oh, oh, oh! My friend
Marsha Sullivan is here.Copy !req
88. Your friend?
I thought you hated her.Copy !req
89. I do!Copy !req
90. But she has
the juiciest gossip becauseCopy !req
91. she is a filthy,
disgusting, piece of...Copy !req
92. Marsha!Copy !req
93. Hello, Kitty.
Hello, Red.Copy !req
94. Here, Kitty, I brought us
some heavenly camomile tea.Copy !req
95. Oh, yeah. Tea's nice.Copy !req
96. You said you were
gonna bring wine.Copy !req
97. She also said, "Till death do us
part." Look how that worked out.Copy !req
98. Red, don't you have
something to do in the garage?Copy !req
99. I can go to the garage?Copy !req
100. So, Marsha.Copy !req
101. Tell me what is going on in
that adventurous life of yours?Copy !req
102. Well, actually, Kitty, I have
a wonderful new boyfriend.Copy !req
103. He's delicious, and quite young.Copy !req
104. Young? How young?Copy !req
105. Forty?Copy !req
106. Younger.Copy !req
107. Thirty-nine?Copy !req
108. Younger.Copy !req
109. Well, for heaven's sake,
Marsha, what's younger then 39?Copy !req
110. Kitty, I'm not gonna tell you.
I don't want to shock you.Copy !req
111. Nineteen.Copy !req
112. Well, I just don't believe
this. I have a son who is 19.Copy !req
113. Oh, that's right.
I forgot about Eric.Copy !req
114. Where is that handsome
son of yours these days?Copy !req
115. Oh. Don't you
even think about it.Copy !req
116. He is in Africa, with the
lions, where he's safe.Copy !req
117. Well, he's gotta
come back sometime.Copy !req
118. Touch him and I'll
kill you in your sleep.Copy !req
119. Oh.Copy !req
120. Well, another day, another
romp with Mrs. Sullivan.Copy !req
121. Actually, it was three romps,
but who's counting?Copy !req
122. It was four.Copy !req
123. Hey, guys, I got
Donna's birthday present.Copy !req
124. It's a little
wrinkled and musty,Copy !req
125. but so is Fez's girlfriend
and he seems to like her.Copy !req
126. "My parents went
to Lake MichiganCopy !req
127. "and all I got was
this lousy T-shirt."Copy !req
128. I can relate, too.Copy !req
129. My mom once went to Lake
Michigan. All I got was a half-brother.Copy !req
130. T-shirt?
What a lousy present.Copy !req
131. It even says so,
right on the present.Copy !req
132. Hey, if you guys
don't like the present,Copy !req
133. you can steal her
something better.Copy !req
134. Okay, well, what kind of
stuff is Donna into anyway?Copy !req
135. I don't know. Beef?Copy !req
136. No, seriously,
Donna is a cool girl.Copy !req
137. I think we should
get her something cool.Copy !req
138. Why, because you wanna
have sex with her?Copy !req
139. No, I'd do the same thing
for you if it were your birthday.Copy !req
140. Oh, so you want to
have sex with me?Copy !req
141. Yeah, Fez,
I want to have sex with you.Copy !req
142. I'd rather have a sweater.Copy !req
143. And it's August fourth.Copy !req
144. If you can't find any
gift ideas for DonnaCopy !req
145. in here,
just give her what I do,Copy !req
146. coupons for
15 minutes of Bob-time.Copy !req
147. You know, I always forget
how big Donna's room is.Copy !req
148. It looks much smaller from
the tree across the street.Copy !req
149. Hey, look at this! Donna
uses the same hairspray as...Copy !req
150. My sister.Copy !req
151. Oh, look at this.
Donna's diary.Copy !req
152. Oh, I haven't looked
in here in like a month.Copy !req
153. Aw, damn, it's locked.Copy !req
154. The key's in one
of the desk drawers.Copy !req
155. I'm not sure which. There's
always a branch blocking my view.Copy !req
156. Okay, I'm heading out,
but I think I knowCopy !req
157. what Donna needs
for her birthday.Copy !req
158. Thicker curtains and
a restraining order.Copy !req
159. Oh, my God, Fez,
listen to what Donna wrote.Copy !req
160. It's from a few weeks ago.Copy !req
161. "Hyde hired this new guy Randy at
the record store, and he's really cute."Copy !req
162. Donna thinks Randy is cute!
Can you believe this?Copy !req
163. Jackie, you shouldn't
be reading that.Copy !req
164. It's a complete
invasion of privacy.Copy !req
165. Oh, if I get just the
right angle on this mirror,Copy !req
166. I can see Donna when she sleeps.Copy !req
167. Here, Donna, I made you
a coupon for your birthday.Copy !req
168. "Good for one knock-knock
joke, no 'who's there' required."Copy !req
169. Wow, dreams can come true.Copy !req
170. See that, Red?
Kids love those.Copy !req
171. You should have
made them for Eric.Copy !req
172. Yeah, I suppose I
could have given him aCopy !req
173. "get my foot out of
your ass free" card.Copy !req
174. Ladies and gentlemen, I present
to you a sinfully sweet confectionCopy !req
175. and she is carrying a cake, too.Copy !req
176. Oh, my goodness, stop it.Copy !req
177. Wow, Randy, look at your shirt.Copy !req
178. Uh, Donna, how would
you describe Randy's shirt?Copy !req
179. Um...Copy !req
180. Well buttoned?Copy !req
181. Cute. You would
say it's cute.Copy !req
182. I'm sorry, the answer we
were looking for was "adorable."Copy !req
183. Marsha!Copy !req
184. Oh, there's my lady.Copy !req
185. What in the world?Copy !req
186. Oh, you didn't know?Copy !req
187. Yeah, Fez is dating
an older lady.Copy !req
188. Apparently, you taking him to all
those PTA meetings really paid off.Copy !req
189. Fez is your younger man?
My Fez?Copy !req
190. Isn't he gorgeous?Copy !req
191. I think I'll keep him
for a couple of months.Copy !req
192. Did you hear that?
I'm booked till March.Copy !req
193. Fez, you can't date her.
Why not?Copy !req
194. Well, in the first place,
she's so old.Copy !req
195. Isn't she kind of the
same age as Mrs. Forman?Copy !req
196. Yeah, say that louder,
that'll really help.Copy !req
197. How dare you dig your dirty
claws into this innocent boy?Copy !req
198. Wow, it's almost like she
was right in the room with us.Copy !req
199. Fez, this is an atrocity.Copy !req
200. You two have to stop
seeing each other right now.Copy !req
201. You can't tell me what to
do, you're not my mother.Copy !req
202. You know what? Fine!Copy !req
203. Then you just... You do
whatever the hell you want!Copy !req
204. Marsha!
It's me, Bob Pinciotti.Copy !req
205. I asked you out last month. I thought
you were moving to Costa Rica.Copy !req
206. Kitty?Copy !req
207. Oh, no!Copy !req
208. What's wrong?
Ice, margarita mix,Copy !req
209. the top from
a bottle of tequila.Copy !req
210. Good lord, she took the blender!Copy !req
211. She's in the dining room.Copy !req
212. I'll be in the garage.
Save yourselves!Copy !req
213. I can't believe Fez was seduced
by that cradle-robbing slut.Copy !req
214. You girls throw it around
like football players,Copy !req
215. couldn't one of you
have slept with him?Copy !req
216. Mrs. Forman, you need
to understand something.Copy !req
217. Fez is a deviant weirdo.Copy !req
218. We're just glad he is
doing it with a personCopy !req
219. and not a couch,
a tree or my pillow.Copy !req
220. After all I have done
for that boy, he hasCopy !req
221. the nerve to say,
"You're not my mother."Copy !req
222. If that's even what he said.
Because who can understand anythingCopy !req
223. that comes out of that
ungrateful mush-mouth.Copy !req
224. Wow. Fez and
an older divorced woman.Copy !req
225. You know, if I were
a divorced older woman,Copy !req
226. I would take everything
from my ex-husband.Copy !req
227. Suffer, you cheating bastard!Copy !req
228. Can't
wait to be divorced.Copy !req
229. Well, if he doesn't want me
mothering him, fine, I'm done.Copy !req
230. Next Christmas,
his stocking will notCopy !req
231. be hung by
the chimney with care.Copy !req
232. It will be tossed in
the garbage with hair!Copy !req
233. This place uses too much ice.Copy !req
234. Here you go, Donna.
Happy birthday.Copy !req
235. I was gonna put a ribbon around
it, but you know, I barely care.Copy !req
236. Wow, Hyde, thanks!Copy !req
237. I have the same shirt from the
other lakes, but I needed this one.Copy !req
238. Wait. You collect these shirts?
Steven, how did you know that?Copy !req
239. Oh, because one time I heard
Donna say, "I collect these shirts."Copy !req
240. I like when Donna wears
shirts with writing on them.Copy !req
241. The words just pop out at you.Copy !req
242. Donna, for your birthday,
I'm taking you on a journey.Copy !req
243. "Where," you ask?
To a Journey concert!Copy !req
244. "Why," you ask? 'Cause I saw you
had a poster of them in your room.Copy !req
245. "What was I doing in
your room," you ask?Copy !req
246. Hey, stop asking questions,
we're going to see Journey!Copy !req
247. Wow, thanks!Copy !req
248. Donna, I'm sorry I
didn't get you a present.Copy !req
249. I was gonna go shopping,
but Mrs. SullivanCopy !req
250. is not gonna be around forever.Copy !req
251. I got to make
every moment count.Copy !req
252. Yeah, Fez, about that.Copy !req
253. We just talked to Mrs. Forman
and we learnt a couple of things.Copy !req
254. First of all, you get
a few margaritas in herCopy !req
255. and she's a fairly
decent tap dancer.Copy !req
256. And also, she is really
upset about what you said.Copy !req
257. Yeah, Fez, she thinks
of you like a son.Copy !req
258. I mean,
you know, think about it.Copy !req
259. You know, Miss Kitty
has done a lot for me.Copy !req
260. Maybe I should go talk to her.Copy !req
261. And on the way I'll pick
up a box of chocolates.Copy !req
262. Good. Yeah, Fez, I
think she'd really like that.Copy !req
263. Oh, then I'll
pick her up one, too.Copy !req
264. Happy birthday!
I got you a diary.Copy !req
265. Well, I noticed
you needed a new oneCopy !req
266. when I was reading your old one.Copy !req
267. You read my diary?Copy !req
268. I didn't say that.
You just said that.Copy !req
269. Oh, you don't know what I said.Copy !req
270. But, I also noticed
you think Randy is cute.Copy !req
271. What? I do not, that was just
something I wrote, I barely meant it.Copy !req
272. Oh? Uh-huh? Really? Then why
are you going to the concert with him?Copy !req
273. You don't even like Journey!Copy !req
274. I love Journey.Copy !req
275. They're the Beatles
of our generation.Copy !req
276. Oh, come on!
Who are you kidding?Copy !req
277. The only reason you
put up that posterCopy !req
278. is to cover the hole Fez was
using to spy on you in the shower.Copy !req
279. Okay. Fine.
I think Randy is cute.Copy !req
280. But it's not a big deal.
Because...Copy !req
281. I have to go. Write it in your
diary, I'll read it tomorrow.Copy !req
282. Miss Kitty?Copy !req
283. Oh, hi, Fez.Copy !req
284. I'd get up,
but my back's still soreCopy !req
285. from that knife you stuck in it.Copy !req
286. Listen, Tutankhamen,Copy !req
287. you need to fix this.Copy !req
288. My wife has been sitting
there calm and quiet all day.Copy !req
289. I disarmed landmines in Korea.Copy !req
290. But I have never
been this nervousCopy !req
291. that something's
about to explode.Copy !req
292. Miss Kitty?Copy !req
293. I would like to apologize for
saying that you were not my mother.Copy !req
294. Why? It's the truth. Why don't
you just tell me I'm fat, too.Copy !req
295. See, you treated me like a
son, and I didn't mean to hurt you.Copy !req
296. So, if it will fix things,Copy !req
297. I would like to take your advice
and stop seeing Mrs. Sullivan.Copy !req
298. Okay, look, Fez.
It's your life.Copy !req
299. You can do
whatever you want to do.Copy !req
300. See, but the problem is, that on
the one hand I want your approvalCopy !req
301. and on the other I
want to be with womenCopy !req
302. in ways that frankly
would turn your stomach.Copy !req
303. Okay. Okay, Fez.Copy !req
304. If you really see
me as your mother,Copy !req
305. then you need to do what any
good son would do in this situation.Copy !req
306. Lie to me.Copy !req
307. What do you mean?
Okay, well.Copy !req
308. When Eric was still here, every
Friday night he would tell meCopy !req
309. he's going out with his
friends to the movies.Copy !req
310. But we weren't at the movies,
we were drinking beerCopy !req
311. and peeing from
the top of the...Copy !req
312. Oh...Copy !req
313. So, you see?Copy !req
314. Not telling each other
what they don't want to hearCopy !req
315. is what being
a family is all about.Copy !req
316. Thank you, Miss Kitty.Copy !req
317. Now if you'll excuse me,Copy !req
318. I'm going to not have sex with Mrs.
Sullivan on her washing machine.Copy !req
319. You have fun at the movies!Copy !req
320. Hey, Dad. I was thinking of cashing
in one of my birthday coupons.Copy !req
321. I'll take you up on one
free game of Bobopoly.Copy !req
322. Listen, Donna, I know
those are just for laughsCopy !req
323. but I wanted to get you
something serious, too. So here.Copy !req
324. Peanut brittle, huh? Boy,
I sure do love this stuff.Copy !req
325. You didn't even see it coming!Copy !req
326. Yep, just like last year!Copy !req
327. http://hiqve.com/Copy !req