1. hCopy !req
2. htCopy !req
3. httCopy !req
4. httpCopy !req
5. /Copy !req
6. http://Copy !req
7. http://hCopy !req
8. http://hiCopy !req
9. http://hiqCopy !req
10. http://hiqvCopy !req
11. http://hiqveCopy !req
12. http://hiqve.Copy !req
13. http://hiqve.cCopy !req
14. http://hiqve.com/Copy !req
15. http://hiqve.com/Copy !req
16. Fez.Copy !req
17. I didn't say anything when you
started spying on Donna.Copy !req
18. I kept my mouth shut when
you hid in the dirty towel binCopy !req
19. to peep on the cheerleaders,Copy !req
20. but if you're getting your jollies
listening to people go potty,Copy !req
21. I'm calling a doctor.Copy !req
22. Shh.Copy !req
23. I'm trying to hear
if Jackie's okay.Copy !req
24. She's been in the bathroom
for hours, crying.Copy !req
25. Oh, my God.
You had sex with her.Copy !req
26. No, she told me she wanted to be
my girlfriend and I turned her down.Copy !req
27. - What? Why?
- Because she didn't mean it.Copy !req
28. She never wanted me before.Copy !req
29. And now that she's desperate,
suddenly I'm the guy for her.Copy !req
30. But as soon as she's happy,
she'll dump me.Copy !req
31. So I told her to get lost and
now she's in tears.Copy !req
32. Well, what kind of crying is it?Copy !req
33. Is it like "My life is over"
kind of crying orCopy !req
34. hysterical sobbing like the
time Kelso sat on his nads?Copy !req
35. No, it's bad. I tried everything
to get her out. I yelled, "Fire!"Copy !req
36. I made monkey-noises and said,
"Wow, that's a gigantic monkey."Copy !req
37. But no luck.Copy !req
38. - She must be a complete wreck.
- Oh, hey, guys!Copy !req
39. Oh. She's perfectly fine. So you
definitely didn't have sex with her.Copy !req
40. - Jackie, you're okay?
- Oh, no. No, I'm not okay.Copy !req
41. I just decided being
sad is a waste of time.Copy !req
42. Yeah, see a more productive
use of my time is revenge.Copy !req
43. So get ready.Copy !req
44. Because I am going to rain doom
down on your stupid foreign head!Copy !req
45. That didn't seem so bad, Fez.
I wouldn't worry about it.Copy !req
46. - You wouldn't?
- No.Copy !req
47. That's because I'm safe.Copy !req
48. You should be
friggin' terrified.Copy !req
49. Hello, Wisconsin!Copy !req
50. Hey, hey!Copy !req
51. Just got back from Florida.
Want to see my tan lines?Copy !req
52. Oh, for gosh sakes, Bob.Copy !req
53. Joke's on you. I don't got
no tan lines. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
54. You were in Florida?Copy !req
55. Yeah, I was gone for three
weeks. You didn't notice?Copy !req
56. I just figured my migraine
medicine was working.Copy !req
57. Boy,
it was beautiful down there.Copy !req
58. The ocean, the sunshine,Copy !req
59. and Disneyworld is a great
place to pick up single moms.Copy !req
60. In fact, I like Florida so much,Copy !req
61. I'm selling the house
and I'm moving there.Copy !req
62. You're selling your house? What
if someone annoying moves in?Copy !req
63. I bought a condo.
And get ready for this,Copy !req
64. I'm gonna open a bait shop.Copy !req
65. What a great idea.Copy !req
66. That way, when the hundreds of other
bait shops down there run out of stock,Copy !req
67. there you'll be.Copy !req
68. So you think I'm stupid because
I want to open a bait shop?Copy !req
69. No, of course not.Copy !req
70. I think you want to open a
bait shop because you're stupid.Copy !req
71. Well, I didn't come in
here to be ridiculed.Copy !req
72. Then you shouldn't
have worn that shirt.Copy !req
73. Red, you need to go over there
and apologize to Bob.Copy !req
74. He came here all
excited about his ideaCopy !req
75. and you just made him
feel bad about himself.Copy !req
76. Yeah, he never saw it coming.Copy !req
77. So did you get Jackie back for
flushing your toothbrush down the toilet?Copy !req
78. No. Only four out of five
dentists recommend brushingCopy !req
79. so I just go to the other guy.Copy !req
80. How about for microwaving
your hand lotion?Copy !req
81. No, the heat feels nice on my...Copy !req
82. hands.Copy !req
83. Well, what are you gonna do to her
for ripping all the buttons off your shirt?Copy !req
84. Thank her. I look fabulous!Copy !req
85. Man, what is wrong with you?Copy !req
86. She tore your
shirt for easy access.Copy !req
87. When Jackie gets angry,
she goes straight for the nipple.Copy !req
88. Hyde, I turned her down.
She has every right to be angry.Copy !req
89. But the worst of it is over, so
I'm gonna let bygones be bygones.Copy !req
90. Fez, let me tell
you a little story.Copy !req
91. Once upon a time there was
a young girl named Jackie.Copy !req
92. She destroyed everything in her
path because she was Satan's child.Copy !req
93. The end.Copy !req
94. Ah, I see your point.Copy !req
95. Wait, what's your point?Copy !req
96. My point is, she's evil, man.
You gotta get back at her.Copy !req
97. You gotta fight fire with fire.Copy !req
98. Now you're suggesting I set her
on fire? What has happened to you?Copy !req
99. I'm just saying every time Jackie
hurts you, you gotta hurt her worse.Copy !req
100. I don't know, that sounds like
a senseless cycle of violence.Copy !req
101. Yeah. That's
the best and funniest kind.Copy !req
102. Look, this whole thing will blow over
once I talk to her about everything.Copy !req
103. Holy crap!Copy !req
104. My car! Jackie ruined my car!Copy !req
105. And you don't have insurance.Copy !req
106. Good one, Jackie.Copy !req
107. And look what she wrote
on the side. Fez, has a tiny...Copy !req
108. I do not!Copy !req
109. It's perfectly normal, based
on all the other ones I've seen.Copy !req
110. I only look for comparison.Copy !req
111. If Jackie wants war,
I'll give her war.Copy !req
112. Whatever you say, tiny.Copy !req
113. If it's so small,
why would I name it Big John?Copy !req
114. - Dad, I don't want
to move to Florida.
- Sure you do.Copy !req
115. No, I don't!Copy !req
116. Come on, who doesn't
want to move to Florida?Copy !req
117. Me!Copy !req
118. Oh. Well, geez, you should have said
that before I put the house on the market.Copy !req
119. You put the house on the market?Copy !req
120. Relax, honey,
I can always take it off.Copy !req
121. - You can?
- No, it sold this morning.Copy !req
122. Well, look who it is.
Come over to insult me again?Copy !req
123. I don't know, maybe take
another cheap shot at my outfit?Copy !req
124. Okay. There is nothing wrong
with your outfits.Copy !req
125. Red thinks they're tacky but I've
explained to him that you're just Italian.Copy !req
126. Anyway, Red has something
he'd like to say to you. Go ahead.Copy !req
127. Bob, I'm sorry that I said
that your idea is stupid.Copy !req
128. - And?
- And...Copy !req
129. The next time you
have a stupid idea,Copy !req
130. I'll just keep my mouth shut.Copy !req
131. You know what, Red?Copy !req
132. I really don't give
a damn what you think.Copy !req
133. All these years I'd have to put
up with you cutting me down,Copy !req
134. calling me dumb ass. Well,
guess what? You're the dumb ass!Copy !req
135. You're nothing
but a crankyCopy !req
136. who thinks his
don't stink,Copy !req
137. so you can blow
it out your ass!Copy !req
138. What? What, you want to hit
me? Go ahead, you bald.Copy !req
139. Yeah, go ahead, do it!
I'm not afraid of you.Copy !req
140. In fact, I'll kick your
bony ass right now!Copy !req
141. Bob, you've got some nerve!Copy !req
142. Good for you!Copy !req
143. It's about time you stuck up
for yourself and acted like a man.Copy !req
144. I'm sorry, Red,
it just slipped out!Copy !req
145. I'm so sorry, Fez. I was just outside
and I read that you have a tiny...Copy !req
146. Shut it!Copy !req
147. Fez, you gotta
do something, man.Copy !req
148. Because Jackie's
just getting started.Copy !req
149. When she gets mad,
she is like a revenge machine.Copy !req
150. She will destroy
you because she can.Copy !req
151. Get out, man! I gotta get out!
I gotta get out!Copy !req
152. Huh, flashback.Copy !req
153. Vandalizing your car, man?
That's disturbed.Copy !req
154. I mean that car is the only
thing that defines you as a man.Copy !req
155. You know, because you have
such a tiny...Copy !req
156. Enough!Copy !req
157. I gotta get back at her.
Oh, I know! I'll break her TV.Copy !req
158. Ah, but then I'll
just miss Gilligan.Copy !req
159. If you're gonna retaliate, you
need to hit Jackie where it hurts.Copy !req
160. Ah, like in the face?Copy !req
161. No! What does
Jackie love the most?Copy !req
162. Herself. All she
cares about is her looks.Copy !req
163. You're exactly right. I'm gonna buy
some bleach and some razor bladesCopy !req
164. and after I do my laundry and
shave, I'll think of what to do to Jackie.Copy !req
165. You guys are never
going to believe this.Copy !req
166. My dad is moving to Florida.Copy !req
167. Florida is nice. My mom
spent three years down there.Copy !req
168. Supposed to be five, but she
got time off for good behavior.Copy !req
169. I've got no place to live.
What am I gonna do?Copy !req
170. Why don't you move in with me?Copy !req
171. Donna?
Randy asked you a question.Copy !req
172. And I for one am giddy with
anticipation to hear the answer.Copy !req
173. I just meant, we're dating
and I've got the roomCopy !req
174. and if you got homesick I could
walk around naked with my robe openCopy !req
175. like your Dad.Copy !req
176. I don't know, I mean I never
really thought about moving in.Copy !req
177. I mean, we hardly...Copy !req
178. Well, I do need a place to live.Copy !req
179. But you don't want me invading.Copy !req
180. Well, we do watch
the same shows.Copy !req
181. What the hell, sure.Copy !req
182. Then,
"What the hell, sure," it is!Copy !req
183. Jackie's about to get
out of the bathroom.Copy !req
184. Wait until you see
what I did to her.Copy !req
185. Fez, if this is
the Ex-Lax prank,Copy !req
186. I'd rather hear
about it then see it.Copy !req
187. No, it's better.Copy !req
188. And she's
turning the shower off.Copy !req
189. She's getting out.Copy !req
190. Looks at herself
in the mirror and...Copy !req
191. Fez!Copy !req
192. Ho, ho, ho, Green Jackie!Copy !req
193. - Fez, you
completely ruined my hair!
- You destroyed my car!Copy !req
194. I had every right to destroy
your car, you turned me down!Copy !req
195. You turned me down like a million
times and I never did anything!Copy !req
196. Actually,
I remember a lot of crying.Copy !req
197. Yes, I cried.
Because I have feelings.Copy !req
198. Unlike you, Jackie.Copy !req
199. Oh!Copy !req
200. I have feelings. And they told
me to buy a bottle of spray paintCopy !req
201. and tell the whole world
that you have a tiny...Copy !req
202. It's normal sized!Copy !req
203. Well, you know what?
I'm glad I turned you down.Copy !req
204. Because,
you're a mean, bitter girl.Copy !req
205. And now you're ugly on the
outside like you are ugly in the inside.Copy !req
206. Holy crap,
man, cover your nipples!Copy !req
207. I can't believe that's what
you really think of me.Copy !req
208. Well, it is.Copy !req
209. Okay, fine. I'll just go pack up
my things and get out of your life.Copy !req
210. Damn, man, that was harsh.Copy !req
211. Yeah. It must have been
my Jamaican Fire.Copy !req
212. So, you're from Jamaica?Copy !req
213. No, Jamaican Fire.
It's my new cologne.Copy !req
214. See, these blue
buildings are condosCopy !req
215. and the green ones,
those are cabanas.Copy !req
216. What's that yellow building?Copy !req
217. Oh, that's Cheez Whiz.
I was reading in bed.Copy !req
218. Wow. This design is great.Copy !req
219. You know the way these
condos are laid out,Copy !req
220. you could spend your entire
life and never have to interactCopy !req
221. with your idiot neighbors.Copy !req
222. Oh, and look
at the street names.Copy !req
223. Orange Grove Avenue,
Grapefruit Lane,Copy !req
224. Pineapple Road, it's
like living in a fruit salad!Copy !req
225. Anyway, I couldn't
help but notice,Copy !req
226. they got 200 brand-new
beachfront homes,Copy !req
227. each with a dock, but no
bait shop within five miles.Copy !req
228. - You can fish
of your own pier?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
229. That means you don't have to get
your lines tangled up with some dumb assCopy !req
230. who doesn't know
what they're doing.Copy !req
231. You're the one who invited me.Copy !req
232. Ah, you guys should move
down there, too.Copy !req
233. Red! Red, you could run
the bait shop with me.Copy !req
234. Ah, I don't think so, Bob.Copy !req
235. Kitty and I aren't ready
to leave Point Place.Copy !req
236. Okay, then. While I'm sitting pretty
there on Orange Grove Avenue,Copy !req
237. you guys can enjoy the drive
past Slaughterhouse Way.Copy !req
238. Well, that's not fair, Bob.Copy !req
239. It's only named that because that
way leads to the slaughterhouse.Copy !req
240. I think you're really
gonna like living here.Copy !req
241. So let's take the tour shall we?Copy !req
242. This area over here with the
underpants is the laundry annexe.Copy !req
243. Oh, over here is the gym.
Membership included.Copy !req
244. And through that door is
the bathroom/library,Copy !req
245. although currently all we have
to read is a Sports IllustratedCopy !req
246. and a bottle of Prell.Copy !req
247. - You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
248. It's just weird, you know.Copy !req
249. Moving in with someone.
But great. Weird, but great.Copy !req
250. You know, like midgets.Copy !req
251. There's nothing to worry about.Copy !req
252. Oh, and the closet's
really full,Copy !req
253. but you can just hang anything
you want on the drum kit.Copy !req
254. I was gonna use it, but
you know... Impulse buy.Copy !req
255. Seriously, you okay with this?Copy !req
256. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine.Copy !req
257. Then here you go,
I made you a key.Copy !req
258. Put your name on the mailbox. So I
guess we are officially living together.Copy !req
259. Uh-huh.Copy !req
260. - Nice.
- Hey, there he is.Copy !req
261. Donna, this is Pickles.
Pickles, meet Donna.Copy !req
262. She's your new mommy.Copy !req
263. Hi, Mommy.Copy !req
264. Yeah, um, I gotta go.Copy !req
265. Chick magnet, my ass.Copy !req
266. Wow, man. The stuff
you said to Jackie...Copy !req
267. So mean and hurtful.Copy !req
268. I only wish I'd said it myself.Copy !req
269. Well, I'm glad she's gone.Copy !req
270. I've never felt so happy
about anything in my life.Copy !req
271. What did I do?Copy !req
272. Jackie was in love with me
and I let her go.Copy !req
273. And now all I have
is an empty apartmentCopy !req
274. and the scent of her perfume
on my boxers where I sprayed it.Copy !req
275. Don't worry, man.
You're doing the right thing.Copy !req
276. I know you want
to run after her,Copy !req
277. but as your friend,
I'm not gonna let you.Copy !req
278. Jackie, I'm coming!Copy !req
279. Huh, he called my bluff.Copy !req
280. That Bob and his crazy ideas.
We can never move to Florida.Copy !req
281. Well, it's easy for him to do.
But we have real ties here.Copy !req
282. I'm three piggy stamps away
from a free ham at the supermarket.Copy !req
283. And I've got responsibilities.
Spring's coming up.Copy !req
284. Who's gonna poison
the new batch of squirrels?Copy !req
285. Let's move to Florida.Copy !req
286. You really want to?Copy !req
287. - Do you?
- If you do.Copy !req
288. - I do.
- Me, too.Copy !req
289. - Then let's do it.
- Oh-ho-ho, Red!Copy !req
290. I am so excited. There is so much to
do in Florida, it'll be such an adventure!Copy !req
291. No, I just wanna go down there
and kind of sit around till we die.Copy !req
292. Donna, come on.
Just tell me why you left.Copy !req
293. I don't know, it all hit me at
once. I just, like, needed some air.Copy !req
294. Well, if Pickles saying, "Hi,
Mommy" freaked you out,Copy !req
295. I'll let you in on a little
secret. That was actually me.Copy !req
296. No, it's just this whole Florida
thing's like really freaking me out.Copy !req
297. When you asked me to move in, it
seemed like the right thing to do but,Copy !req
298. when I got there I started
to realize that I'm just doing itCopy !req
299. 'cause I'm too
afraid to start my life.Copy !req
300. I used to have, like, plans.Copy !req
301. What'd you wanna do?Copy !req
302. Go to college.Copy !req
303. I got accepted at
Madison last year so...Copy !req
304. I don't know, I think
it's time I finally go.Copy !req
305. That's cool. It's only a few hours
away, we can totally make that work.Copy !req
306. No, you don't understand.Copy !req
307. This...Copy !req
308. This just isn't what I want.Copy !req
309. Oh.Copy !req
310. So that's it for us?Copy !req
311. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
312. Me, too.Copy !req
313. Kind of sucks.Copy !req
314. Hey, Donna. Check out
my new Speedo for Florida.Copy !req
315. Dad, why can't you just buy
a regular bathing suit?Copy !req
316. No, those make me look silly.Copy !req
317. - Jackie, there you are.
- What do you want, Fez?Copy !req
318. I ran all the way
here to find you.Copy !req
319. My car is in the shop.Copy !req
320. And you'll be glad to hear that they
are changing the word tiny to large.Copy !req
321. - Look, I don't care
about any of this.
- Jackie, wait!Copy !req
322. Look, I didn't mean all
those horrible things I said.Copy !req
323. You're not ugly,
you're beautiful.Copy !req
324. Even if you dumped me
after a week,Copy !req
325. it'd be the best
week of my life.Copy !req
326. I just want to be with you.Copy !req
327. Fez, you really, really hurt me.Copy !req
328. And I thought you were the one person
who would never speak to me like that.Copy !req
329. You know, you're not
the guy I thought you wereCopy !req
330. and I don't think I
could ever be with you.Copy !req
331. - But, Jackie...
- No. Goodbye, Fez.Copy !req
332. Oh, Mr. Forman,
thank God you're here.Copy !req
333. I just had my heart broken and
I really need someone to talk to.Copy !req
334. Bob, for the last time, you
can't call our bait shop "Jail Bait."Copy !req
335. Fine! How about "Hookers"?Copy !req
336. You know, because you
put the bait on the hook.Copy !req
337. No.Copy !req
338. Okay, you got something better?Copy !req
339. "Red and Bob's Bait Shop."Copy !req
340. I like it. It's simple, to the point
and I think it will fit on a Speedo.Copy !req
341. Bob, you put my name
on your crotch, I'll kill you.Copy !req
342. http://hiqve.com/Copy !req