1. FezCopy !req
2. I didn't say anything when you
started spying on Donna...Copy !req
3. I kept my mouth shut when you hid
in the dirty towel bin to peep on
the cheerleaders...Copy !req
4. But if you get your jollies listening
to people go pottyCopy !req
5. I'm calling a doctor.Copy !req
6. Shhh, I'm trying to see if Jackie's okay.
She's been in the bathroom for hours, crying.Copy !req
7. Oh my God!Copy !req
8. You had sex with her!Copy !req
9. No!Copy !req
10. She told me she wanted to be
my girlfriend and I turned her down.Copy !req
11. What? Why?Copy !req
12. Because she didn't mean it.Copy !req
13. She never wanted me before.Copy !req
14. And now that she's desperate,
suddenly I'm the guy for her.Copy !req
15. But as soon as she's happy,
she'll dump me.Copy !req
16. So I told her to get lost and now
she's in tears.Copy !req
17. Well, what kind of crying is it?
Is it like...Copy !req
18. "my life is over" kinda crying or...Copy !req
19. hysterical sobbing like the time
Kelso sat on his nads?Copy !req
20. No it's bad. I tried everything
to get her out. I yelled "Fire!"...Copy !req
21. I made monkey-noises and said
"Wow that's a gigantic monkey".Copy !req
22. But no luck. She must be
a complete wreck.Copy !req
23. Oh hey guys!Copy !req
24. Oh. She's perfectly fine. So you definitely
didn't have sex with her.Copy !req
25. Jackie, you're okay?Copy !req
26. Oh no.
No I'm not okay.Copy !req
27. I just decided being sad is
a waste of time.Copy !req
28. You see, a more productive use
of my time is revenge.Copy !req
29. So get ready.Copy !req
30. Because I am going to rain doom
down on your stupid foreign head!Copy !req
31. That didn't seem so bad Fez.
I wouldn't worry about it.Copy !req
32. - You wouldn't?
- No.Copy !req
33. That's because I'm safe.Copy !req
34. You should be freakin' terrified.Copy !req
35. That '70s Show - 8x20 - Leaving home ain't easyCopy !req
36. Synchro : TillCopy !req
37. Hey hey! Just got back from Florida.Copy !req
38. Wanna see my tan lines?Copy !req
39. Oh, for gosh sakes, Bob!Copy !req
40. Joke's on you! I don't got no tan lines!
Whoohoo!Copy !req
41. You were in Florida?Copy !req
42. Yeah, I was gone for three weeks.
You didn't notice?Copy !req
43. I just figured my migraine medicine
was working.Copy !req
44. Uhuh. Boy it was beautiful
down there.Copy !req
45. The ocean, the sunshine and Disneyworld
is a great place to pick up single moms.Copy !req
46. In fact, I like Florida so much I'm
selling the house and I'm moving there.Copy !req
47. You're selling your house?Copy !req
48. What if someone annoying moves in?Copy !req
49. I bought a condo.
And get ready for this...Copy !req
50. I'm gonna open a bait shop.Copy !req
51. What a great idea...Copy !req
52. That way, when the hundreds of other
bait shops down there run out of stock,
there you'll be!Copy !req
53. So, you think I'm stupid because
I want to open a bait shop?Copy !req
54. No, of course not!Copy !req
55. I think you want to open a bait shop
because you're stupid.Copy !req
56. Well, I didn't come in here
to be ridiculed.Copy !req
57. Then you shouldn't have worn
that shirt!Copy !req
58. Red, you need to go over there
and apologize to Bob.Copy !req
59. He came here all excitd about his idea
and you just made him feel bad about himself.Copy !req
60. Yeah, he never saw it coming.Copy !req
61. So did you get Jackie back for flushing
your tootbrush down the toilet?Copy !req
62. No. Only four out of five dentists
recommend brushing, so I just go
to the other guy.Copy !req
63. How about for micro-waving
your hand-lotion?Copy !req
64. No, the heat feels nice on my...Copy !req
65. hands.Copy !req
66. Well, what are you gonna do to her
for ripping all of the buttons of your shirt?Copy !req
67. Thank her.
I look fabulous!Copy !req
68. Man, what is wrong with you?Copy !req
69. She tore your shirt for easy access,
when Jackie gets angry, she goes
straight for the nipple.Copy !req
70. Hyde, I turned her down, she has
every right to be angry.Copy !req
71. But the worst of it is over, so I'm
gonna let bygones be bygones.Copy !req
72. Fez, let me tell you a little story.Copy !req
73. Once upon a time there was a
young girl named Jackie.Copy !req
74. She destroyed everything in her path
cause she was Satan's child.Copy !req
75. The end!Copy !req
76. Ahhh, I see your point.Copy !req
77. Wait, what's your point?Copy !req
78. My point is she's evil man! You gotta
get back at her, you gotta fight fire with fire.Copy !req
79. Are you suggesting I set her on fire?
What has happened to you?Copy !req
80. I'm just saying that every time Jackie
hurts you, you gotta hurt her worse.Copy !req
81. I don't know, that sounds like a
senseless cycle of violence.Copy !req
82. Yeah. That's the best and funniest kind.Copy !req
83. Look this whole thing will blow over
once I talk to her about everything.Copy !req
84. Holy crap!Copy !req
85. My car!
Jackie ruined my car!Copy !req
86. And you don't have insurance.Copy !req
87. Haha! Good one, Jackie.Copy !req
88. And look what she wrote on
the side. Fez has a tiny...Copy !req
89. I do not!Copy !req
90. It's perfectly normal based on all
the other ones I've seen.Copy !req
91. I only look for comparison!Copy !req
92. Well, if Jackie wants war,
I'll give her war.Copy !req
93. Whatever you say, Tiny.Copy !req
94. If it's so small, why would I name it
Big John?Copy !req
95. Dad I don't wanna move to Florida.Copy !req
96. - Sure you do!
- No I don't!Copy !req
97. - C'mon, who doesn't want to move
to Florida? - Me!Copy !req
98. Oh. Well, geez, you should have said
that before I put the house on the market.Copy !req
99. You put the house on the market?Copy !req
100. Relax, honey, I can always take it off.Copy !req
101. - You can?
- No, it sold this morning.Copy !req
102. Well look who it is.Copy !req
103. Come over to insult me again?
I don't know, maybe...Copy !req
104. take another cheap shot
at my outfit?Copy !req
105. Okay. There is nothing wrong
with your outfits.Copy !req
106. Red thinks they're tacky but I've
explained to him that you're just Italian.Copy !req
107. Anyway, Red has something he'd like
to say to you. Go ahead.Copy !req
108. Bob. I'm sorry that I said that
your idea is stupid.Copy !req
109. - And
- AndCopy !req
110. the next time you have a stupid idea
I'll just keep my mouth shut.Copy !req
111. You know what Red?Copy !req
112. I really don't give a damn
what you think.Copy !req
113. All these years I'd have to put up
with you cutting me down...Copy !req
114. calling me dumb-ass, well guess
what, you're the dumb-ass!Copy !req
115. You're nothing but a cranky *bleep ♪
who thinks he's *bleep* his dogsday...Copy !req
116. so you can blow it out your *bleep ♪
ass!Copy !req
117. What, what, what you wanna hit me?
Go ahead you bald *bleep*...Copy !req
118. Yeah go ahead, do it, I'm not afraid of
you, in fact, I'll kick your boney *bleep ♪
ass right now!Copy !req
119. Bob, you've got some nerve!Copy !req
120. Good for you!Copy !req
121. It's about time you stuck up for
yourself and acted like a man.Copy !req
122. I'm sorry Red it just slipped out!Copy !req
123. I'm so sorry Fez.Copy !req
124. - I was just outside and I read that you
have a tiny…- Shut it!Copy !req
125. Fez, you gotta do something man.
Because Jackie is just getting started.Copy !req
126. When she gets mad, she is like
a revenge machine.Copy !req
127. She will destroy you because
she can!Copy !req
128. Get out man! I gotta get out!
I gotta get out!Copy !req
129. Huh flashbackCopy !req
130. Vandalizing your car man?
That's disturbed.Copy !req
131. I mean that car is the only thing that
defines you as a man.Copy !req
132. - You know, because you have such
a tiny…- Enough!Copy !req
133. I gotta get back at her. Oh I know,
I'll break her TV.Copy !req
134. Ahhh but then I'll just miss Gilligan.Copy !req
135. If you're gonna retaliate, you need
to hit Jackie where it hurts.Copy !req
136. Ahhh, like in the face?Copy !req
137. No! What does Jackie love
the most?Copy !req
138. Herself. All she cares about
is her looks.Copy !req
139. You're exactly right.Copy !req
140. I'm gonna buy some bleach and
some razor blades...Copy !req
141. and after I do my laundry and shave,
I'll think of what to do to Jackie.Copy !req
142. You guys are never going
to believe this.Copy !req
143. My Dad is moving to Florida.Copy !req
144. Florida is nice. My Mom spend
three years down there.Copy !req
145. Supposed to be five but she got
time off for good behaviour.Copy !req
146. I've got no place to live!
What am I gonna do?Copy !req
147. Why don't you move in with me?Copy !req
148. Donna? Randy asked you
a question.Copy !req
149. And I for one am giddy with anticipation
to hear the answer.Copy !req
150. I just meant, we're dating and
I've got the room...Copy !req
151. and if you got homesick I could walk
around naked with my robe open
like your Dad.Copy !req
152. I don't know, I mean I never really
thought about moving in.Copy !req
153. I mean we hardly
well I do need a place to liveCopy !req
154. but you don't want me invading
well we do watch the same showsCopy !req
155. What the hell, sure!Copy !req
156. Then what the hell sure it is!Copy !req
157. Jackie is about to get out
of the bathroom.Copy !req
158. Wait until you see what I did to her.Copy !req
159. Fez, if this is the ex-lax prank,
I'd rather hear about it then see it.Copy !req
160. No it's better.Copy !req
161. And she's turning the shower offCopy !req
162. she's getting outCopy !req
163. look at herself in the mirror andCopy !req
164. AAAARRRGGHHHH!Copy !req
165. FEZ!Copy !req
166. Ho ho ho, Green Jackie!Copy !req
167. Fez, you completely ruined my hair!Copy !req
168. You destroyed my car!Copy !req
169. I had every right to destroy your car,
you turned me down!Copy !req
170. You turned me down like a million times
and I never did anything!Copy !req
171. Actually I remember a lot of crying.Copy !req
172. Yes I cried. Because I have feelings.
Unlike you Jackie.Copy !req
173. Oh, huhuh.
I have feelings.Copy !req
174. And they told me to buy a bottle of
spray paint and tell the whole world...Copy !req
175. - ... that you have a tiny
- IT'S NORMAL SIZED!Copy !req
176. Well you know what, I'm glad
I turned you down.Copy !req
177. Because you are a mean, bitter girl.Copy !req
178. And now, you're ugly on the outside
like you are ugly in the inside.Copy !req
179. Holy crap man, cover your nipples!Copy !req
180. I can't believe that's what
you really think of me.Copy !req
181. Well it is.Copy !req
182. Fine. I'll just go pack up my things
and get out of your life.Copy !req
183. Damn man, that was harsh.Copy !req
184. Yeah. Must have been my
Jamaican fire.Copy !req
185. So you're from Jamaica?Copy !req
186. No, "Jamaican Fire".
It's my new cologne.Copy !req
187. See, these blue buildings are condo's
and the green ones those are cabana's.Copy !req
188. What is that yellow building?Copy !req
189. Oh that's CheeseWhiz,
I was reading in bed.Copy !req
190. Wow. This design is great. You know,
the way these condo's are layed out...Copy !req
191. you could spend your entire life and
never have to interact with your idiot neighbours.Copy !req
192. Oh, and look at the streetnames...Copy !req
193. Orange Grove Avenue, Grapefruit Lane,
Pineapple Road,Copy !req
194. it's like living in a fruit salad!Copy !req
195. Anyway, I couldn't help but notice they
got 200 brand new beachfront homes...Copy !req
196. each with a dock, but no bait shop
within five miles.Copy !req
197. You can fish of your own pier?Copy !req
198. That means you don't have to get
your lines tangled up...Copy !req
199. with some dumb-ass who doesn't
know what they're doing?Copy !req
200. You're the one who invited me!Copy !req
201. Ah, you guys should move
down there too.Copy !req
202. Red, Red, you could run the bait shop
with me.Copy !req
203. Nah, I don't think so Bob.Copy !req
204. Kitty and I aren't ready to leave
Point Place.Copy !req
205. Okay then. When I'm sitting pretty
there on Orange Grove Avenue...Copy !req
206. you guys can enjoy the drive past
Slaughterhouse Way.Copy !req
207. Well that's not fair Bob.Copy !req
208. It's only named that because that way
leads to the slaughterhouse.Copy !req
209. I think you really gonna like
living here.Copy !req
210. So let's take the tour, shall we?Copy !req
211. This area over here with the underpants
is the laundry annex.Copy !req
212. Uh, oh, over here is the gym...Copy !req
213. Membership included...Copy !req
214. And through that door is the
bathroom / library...Copy !req
215. Although currently all we have to read
is a Sports Illustrated and a bottle of Prell.Copy !req
216. You okay?Copy !req
217. Yeah. I'm fine.Copy !req
218. It's just weird you know.
Moving in with someone...Copy !req
219. But great...
Weird, but great...Copy !req
220. You know, like midgets...Copy !req
221. There's nothing to worry about.Copy !req
222. Oh and the closet's really full, but you
can just hang anything you want on
the drum kit.Copy !req
223. I was gonna use it but you know...Copy !req
224. impulse-buy.Copy !req
225. - Seriously, you're okay with this?
- Yeah. Yeah, I'll be fine.Copy !req
226. Then here you go, I made you a key.Copy !req
227. Put your name on the mailbox.Copy !req
228. So I guess we are officially
living together.Copy !req
229. Uhuh. Nice.Copy !req
230. Heyyy, there he is.Copy !req
231. Donna, this is Pickles.Copy !req
232. Pickles, meet Donna.Copy !req
233. - She's your new Mommy!
- Hi Mommy!Copy !req
234. Yeah uhm I gotta go!Copy !req
235. Chick magnet my ass!Copy !req
236. Wow man.
The stuff you said to Jackie.Copy !req
237. So mean and hurtful.Copy !req
238. I only wish I'd said it myself.Copy !req
239. Well, I'm glad she's gone.Copy !req
240. I've never felt so happy about
anything in my life.Copy !req
241. What did I do?Copy !req
242. Jackie was in love with me and
I let her go.Copy !req
243. And all that I have is
an empty apartment.Copy !req
244. And the scent of her perfume on
my boxers, where I sprayed it.Copy !req
245. Don't worry man.Copy !req
246. You're doing the right thing.Copy !req
247. I know you wanna run after her
but as your friend...Copy !req
248. I am not gonna let you.Copy !req
249. JACKIE I'M COMING!Copy !req
250. Hah, you can call my bluf.Copy !req
251. That Bob and his crazy ideas.
We can never move to Florida.Copy !req
252. Well it's easy for him to do.
But we have real ties here.Copy !req
253. I'm three piggie stamps away from
a free ham at the supermarket!Copy !req
254. And I've got responsibilities.Copy !req
255. Spring is coming up, who is gonna
poison the new batch of squirrels?Copy !req
256. Let's move to Florida...Copy !req
257. You really want to?Copy !req
258. - Do you?
- If you do!Copy !req
259. - I do!
- Me too!Copy !req
260. - Then let's do it!
- Ohohohoohhh! Red!Copy !req
261. I am so excited there is so much
to do in Florida, it'll be such an adventure.Copy !req
262. Nooo, I just wanna go down there
and kinda sit around till we die.Copy !req
263. Donna, come on.
JustCopy !req
264. tell me why you left.Copy !req
265. I don't know, it all hit me at once,
I justCopy !req
266. I just like needed some air.Copy !req
267. Well if Pickles saying "Hi Mommy"
freaked you out...Copy !req
268. I'll let you in on a little secret.Copy !req
269. That was actually me.Copy !req
270. You know what, it's just this whole
Florida thing is really freakin' me out.Copy !req
271. When you asked me to move in
it seemed like the right thing to do butCopy !req
272. when I got there I sort of realized that
I'm just doing it cause I'm too afraid
to start my life.Copy !req
273. I used to have like plans.Copy !req
274. What did you wanna do?Copy !req
275. Go to college.Copy !req
276. I got accepted in Madison
last year soCopy !req
277. I don't know, I think it's time
I finally go.Copy !req
278. That's cool. It's only a few hours
away, we can totally make that work.Copy !req
279. No, you don't understand.Copy !req
280. This... it just isn't what I want.Copy !req
281. Oh. So, that's it for us?Copy !req
282. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
283. Me too.Copy !req
284. Kinda sucks.Copy !req
285. Hey Donna!Copy !req
286. Check out my new Speedo
for Florida!Copy !req
287. Dad, why can't you just buy
a regular bathing suit?Copy !req
288. Those make me look silly...Copy !req
289. Jackie...Copy !req
290. There you are.Copy !req
291. What do you want Fez?Copy !req
292. I ran all the way here to find you.Copy !req
293. My car is in the shop.Copy !req
294. And you'll be glad to hear that they
are changing the word "tiny" to "large"Copy !req
295. - Look I don't care about any of this.
- Jackie wait.Copy !req
296. Look I didn't mean all those horrible
things I said.Copy !req
297. You're not ugly, you're beautiful.Copy !req
298. Even if you dumped me after a week
it'd be the best week of my life.Copy !req
299. I just wanna be with you.Copy !req
300. Fez, you really, really hurt me.Copy !req
301. And I thought you were the one person
who would never speak to me like that.Copy !req
302. You're not the guy I thought you were,
and I don't think I could ever be with with you.Copy !req
303. - But Jackie...
- No. Goodbye, Fez.Copy !req
304. Oh, Mr. Forman, thank God
you're here.Copy !req
305. I just had my heart broken and
I really need someone to talk to.Copy !req