That '70s Show 7x8

Tim Reid as William Barnett • Lance Carter as DJ • Megalyn Echikunwoke as Angie Barnett

Things are going well for Hyde at work, until he meets his new sister, Angie, and finds that she's not as nice as she seems. She attempts to get Hyde fired, causing him to use his biggest weapon against her; Jackie. Eric tells the gang that he's studying Spanish, but Kitty lets it slip to Fez what Eric really does on Wednesday nights, and Fez just can't keep the secret to himself.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hey, thanks for coming down to meet my sister, man.

2. I had dinner with her and my dad last night.

3. And it was the first family dinner I'd ever been to

4. where we didn't have to sneak out of the restaurant

5. one at a time.

6. Man, Hyde, first a new dad, now a new sister?

7. It's like you hit the orphan lottery.

8. Look, your dad's got a whole jar

9. of peppermint patties! Heh.

10. That's class, baby.

11. That's nothing, you guys.

12. I found 20 bucks just sitting on the desk,

13. and I kind of want to steal it.

14. Wow. I'm really starting to see the underbelly

15. of not having a job.

16. Check it out, Hyde. Your dad knows skynyrd.

17. I heard when you first meet them, if you just yell

18. "free bird" really loud, they'll start playing it.

19. Ah, Angie, meet your new brother's friends...

20. They're scruffy, but they don't seem to be dangerous.

21. Hey, guys, check it out...

22. Family 'fro. Ha ha.

23. I know you're thinking,

24. what are the odds that Steven would have

25. a previously unknown black half-sister?

26. Well, I'll tell you... 2,437:1.

27. I'm a math major.

28. A math major? Awesome.

29. I need some help building a homemade rocket.

30. And we also need a hamster

31. that's not afraid of heights or being blown up.

32. You must be kelso.

33. Yeah, I am.

34. Boy, am I glad you showed up.

35. It's a lot of pressure being the only good-looking one

36. in the room.

37. Michael, that is so rude.

38. You know there's two of us.

39. And that makes you Jackie.

40. That's right!

41. Hi!

42. Ok, so let me bring you up to speed

43. on the group.

44. Too skinny, too tall, too horny, too foreign,

45. too-rific.

46. Look at this, my two kids together and getting along.

47. Ha ha. That's it, 20 bucks for everybody.

48. It's ok. I already got mine.

49. I took it off your desk.

50. I'm at a really weird place in my life.

51. Hello, Wisconsin!

52. Hey, man.

53. Hey! I brought everyone cupcakes.

54. Cool! Cool! Cupcakes!

55. Here's a special one for you...

56. Vanilla on the outside and chocolate on the inside.

57. Ohh! Wait.

58. What are you doing?

59. You knew I was gonna take that one.

60. Oh, well, too late.

61. You know what? You're always doing that.

62. That is the reason why we broke up.

63. We broke up because you were always cheating on me.

64. That and the cupcake thing.

65. So this is where you hang out, huh?

66. Do the people who own this place

67. know we're down here?

68. Yeah, they kind of adopted me.

69. You don't know this about me,

70. but I've had, like, 13 dads.

71. You know, I don't know so much about you.

72. I mean, like,

73. what kind of stuff did you do growing up?

74. Did you play sports?

75. Well, I used to play this one game called stoop.

76. What you do is you sit on a stoop

77. and you Chuck things at passersby.

78. I was a pro.

79. I was a passerby.

80. Did you know that I am a shampoo boy

81. down at the beauty salon?

82. Yes, ladies come from miles around

83. to be touched by these magic hands.

84. Is that why they're all dry and chapped?

85. No.

86. That's from my day off.

87. So, Angie, are you excited about your first day at work

88. at dad's office tomorrow?

89. Yeah, but i'm a little nervous.

90. I mean, it's my first job out of college.

91. Oh, believe me, this is the easiest job I've ever had.

92. Wait. What about the time you got paid 2 bucks to eat everything

93. out of forman's fridge and then you threw it up

94. all over the place?

95. That was you.

96. Oh, yeah.

97. Ha ha! That was awesome.

98. So it's cool if we slack off at work.

99. Look, anytime I even think about work, I remember

100. one thing... I'm the boss' son.

101. Then I head down to the nearest bar

102. to chug beer and play darts.

103. Ah, beer and darts.

104. Keeping the eye patch industry alive

105. since the 1800s.

106. Kitty, you told me we were going to the hardware store.

107. And you told me I'd have a fur coat by winter.

108. People say a lot of things.

109. But this is no place for a man.

110. It's 25 ladies and me.

111. I think I like my chances.

112. Kitty, I got to get out of here.

113. One of these ladies is likely to come over here

114. and try to talk me into a toupee.

115. Ok, Fez...

116. Give me the gossip.

117. Is that glitter in your hair?

118. Are you making me a pinata?

119. No. I was working on a new outfit

120. for Eric to wear at the roller disco.

121. Roller disco? Eric is into roller disco?

122. Uh-oh.

123. I'm sorry. We're gonna have to reschedule

124. 'cause I have to go spread this embarrassing news.

125. You can't tell anyone.

126. I promised Eric I'd keep it a secret.

127. Besides, you used to roller disco with Jackie.

128. Sure, when I was a child.

129. But I'm a man now.

130. I moved on to robot dancing.

131. Hey, you wanted to see me?

132. Have a seat, Steven.

133. It's come to my attention

134. you've been sneaking off from work

135. to go play darts.

136. Well, in my defense, it's just something to do

137. to pass the time while I'm drinking beer.

138. Yes, Angie mentioned that, too.

139. What? You ratted me out on my midday dart-and-booze?

140. What? No! I just thought it was a funny story.

141. Steven, I'm so sorry. Daddy, please don't fire him.

142. You're not? I'm not gonna fire him.

143. I mean... you're not.

144. Excellent choice.

145. Steven, you may be the boss' son,

146. but you still have to show up and do some work.

147. Come on, man. Even you said yourself it was fine

148. if I slack off every now and then.

149. Look, I want you to succeed here, Steven,

150. so no more darts.

151. Fine.

152. Oh, but can I start succeeding next week?

153. See, there's a tournament tomorrow.

154. I'm already signed up and everything.

155. There's my little roller disco king.

156. Mom! Shh.

157. Look, at any given moment,

158. there are at least three kids in this house

159. who would use that information to destroy me.

160. We have to keep it our secret.

161. Well, I was just reading the Bible...

162. And it says that keeping secrets is a sin.

163. It goes lust, gluttony, sloth, keeping secrets.

164. Mom, we don't even have a Bible.

165. Remember last Christmas

166. you spilled peppermint schnapps all over it?

167. Honey, just share your secret.

168. People are gonna find out eventually,

169. because that is a surprisingly difficult thing

170. to keep secret.

171. Ok, I don't know if you know this about me,

172. but I already take quite a bit of crap

173. just walking around being regular me.

174. So, no, I'm not gonna tell anybody.

175. Do you want me to tell them?

176. No. Yes?

177. No.

178. I'll think about it, ok?

179. Maybe there's a way I can kind of feel everybody out.

180. Good.

181. And, by the way,

182. I did not spill peppermint schnapps

183. on the Bible.

184. It was Sambuca.

185. I am not trailer trash.

186. I know something you don't know.

187. Fez, you know a lot of things I don't know,

188. mostly because they're disgusting

189. and I don't want to know them.

190. True, but this is about Eric.

191. What do you think he's doing every Wednesday night

192. when he's not with you?

193. He's taking an at-home Spanish course.

194. He doesn't want to be disturbed,

195. so he locks himself in his room.

196. You know, I think he's self-conscious

197. because he can't roll his rs.

198. Oh, believe me, Donna, he is rrrolling his ass off.

199. Ok, Fez, what's going on?

200. Is there another woman?

201. Yes.

202. And it's Eric.

203. Angie totally set me up, man.

204. I should have seen this coming

205. when I found out she was a math major.

206. Those girls are always bitches.

207. You know what your problem is, Hyde?

208. I'm too good-looking.

209. Who does Angie think she is, anyway?

210. She can't just walk in here

211. and pull your strings like you're some kind of puppet.

212. That's my job.

213. Hey, uh, guys, just to jump off topic here

214. for a sec... when you're dancing to say, like,

215. Donna summer... whoever...

216. Do you ever wish that you were on wheels?

217. Forman, so many parts of what you just said

218. make me want to kick your ass.

219. Eric, you know what your problem is?

220. I'm too good-looking.

221. Ok, it's Wednesday night,

222. so you guys know what that means...

223. Off to my room for a little espanol,

224. or should I say off to my room-o?

225. You got a lot of nerve showing up here.

226. All right, back off, Hyde.

227. She's here for me.

228. Hey, mama.

229. Hey, so what the hell was that all about today?

230. Look, my dad said that if I did well in college,

231. someday the business would be mine.

232. And I did my part. So there's no way

233. I'm gonna share everything with some frizzy-haired kid

234. fresh out of juvie.

235. Ok, I'm working at that company

236. because our dad wants me there.

237. And don't insult me with that juvie crap.

238. I'm over 18.

239. If I get pinched, I'm doing big boy time.

240. Running this company is my dream,

241. so if you don't quit tomorrow,

242. it's gonna be war.

243. He's your friend. Talk some sense into him.

244. If you wanted my help,

245. you should have brought more cupcakes.

246. Fez, come on.

247. Just tell us what Eric's up to.

248. Donna, if I learned anything from all my years as a virgin...

249. It's that seeing it

250. is much better than talking about it.

251. What the hell was that?

252. That, Donna,

253. that's what's left of your boyfriend.

254. So, Steven, what are you gonna do about Angie?

255. How are you gonna fight back?

256. I don't know that I am.

257. I mean, you're asking me to fight for a job.

258. That's a tough sell.

259. But this is my company at stake.

260. Jackie, would you stop saying

261. that everything that's mine is yours?

262. Ok, Steven, last Valentine's day, I gave you a card

263. that said "be mine," and you said yes.

264. And by saying yes, you agreed that everything you had,

265. have, or will have from now until the end of time

266. is mine as well.

267. Read the fine print, Steven.

268. This whole work thing is a mess.

269. I miss my glory days of being an orphan.

270. A little piece of advice about having a family...

271. Get used to being screwed over.

272. Well, that's a very cynical view of family.

273. Oh, yeah, and you and your sister get along so well.

274. Oh, I talked to a lawyer.

275. She's not getting a damn thing.

276. Red, we have something to tell you.

277. It's pretty shocking.

278. I'm not sure how to break it to you.

279. Ok, you better let me handle this.

280. All right. Everybody whose son

281. is not a roller disco-er, take one step forward.

282. Not so fast, red!

283. Someone's been working on their spin, susie.

284. Nice. Very nice.

285. It's magic time.

286. Hey, everybody, let's give a great big roller palace welcome

287. to the one, the only, rainbow!

288. No!

289. Nice shorts, rainbow.

290. Hey. Did you come up to pack up your office?

291. Listen, sis, about the whole job thing,

292. I thought about going head-to-head with you,

293. but I decided I just can't stoop to your level.

294. Well, good.

295. But she can.

296. Right now she's telling everybody we work with

297. that you stripped your way through college.

298. Please. Like anybody's gonna believe her.

299. My dad's rich.

300. Oh, no, no, no.

301. You didn't strip because you needed the money.

302. Word around the water cooler is...

303. You stripped because you liked it.

304. I know, I know! What a whore. Whoo!

305. Stop laughing at me.

306. I am not a stripper. I am a math major.

307. Ha ha!

308. Jackie, if there was ever a game show

309. called "make that girl cry,"

310. I'd go on with you.

311. Oh, we'd so win the car.

312. All right. Everybody clear some space.

313. It's rainbow!

314. Now, look, Eric, they love you,

315. so it's a good thing I told Fez.

316. I didn't tell you I told Fez.

317. I didn't tell Fez.

318. Eric, how did this happen?

319. I mean, you don't just wake up one morning,

320. throw on some skates,

321. and start doing cartwheels to sister sledge.

322. It all started

323. when I went down to the sporting goods store.

324. I saw this pair of roller skates,

325. and when I tried them on,

326. well, it was like the first time Joe namath

327. laid his hands on a bat.

328. The next thing I can remember is spinning...

329. Just spinning and spinning and spinning.

330. When I finally stopped, I found myself at the park.

331. That's where I met up with these people.

332. Wait. Those skate freaks that hang out

333. down by the basketball court?

334. Every time we want to shoot hoops,

335. we got to scare them off with bottle rockets.

336. Kelso, they're not freaks.

337. They're just like you and me, but on wheels.

338. Eric, let me tell you a little story.

339. When I was a boy, there was a kid who wanted to be

340. a ballet dancer,

341. and all the other kids made fun of him.

342. But years later, when he came back to town,

343. he had achieved his dream.

344. He was a dancer with the New York City ballet.

345. And you know what happened?

346. You learned your little lesson about judging people unfairly, huh?

347. No. A bunch of guys got together

348. and beat the crap out of him.

349. Hey, red, you know what your problem is?

350. I'm too good-looking.

351. Ok, dad, I hear what you're saying,

352. but... I honestly don't know if I can give it up.

353. Why don't you try something else?

354. I suggest robot dancing.

355. Feel the beat. Disco robot.

356. Daddy, I can't work with him.

357. He's telling lies about me.

358. Actually, that's not true.

359. She's telling them.

360. Steven, why is that girl always in the office?

361. And why has she been passing out dress code memos

362. to my employees?

363. Um, well, she's against the casualization of the workplace.

364. She doesn't belong here and neither does he.

365. I can't believe what I'm seeing...

366. A brother and sister fighting each other.

367. Hey, we are family.

368. Look, if you want him to stay, that's fine,

369. but if he stays, I'm out of here.

370. Well, that's too bad,

371. because I'm opening up a new record store

372. and I wanted the two of you to run it.

373. But maybe I'll just let Steven run it by himself.

374. Hell, yeah!

375. Nice going, sis.

376. No. You know I've always wanted my own store.

377. Well, if you two can't find a way to work this out...

378. We can. I know we can.

379. He's my brother.

380. I try to get him fired, he calls me a stripper.

381. This is how we play.

382. Well, I'm glad, because if this kept going,

383. I would have had to send the two of you

384. to your offices without any dinner.

385. That's a dad joke. I love it.

386. So, looks like you're gonna have to put up with me after all.

387. Hey, I said I'd work with you.

388. It doesn't mean I like you.

389. Your not liking me doesn't bother me that much now that I won.

390. And by "I won," I mean you lost.

391. Oh. And also...

392. You know, here i'm just an average kid.

393. But down there...

394. Down there, I was a star.

395. What?

396. Oh, did I make the kissy face too early again?

397. No, no. It's nothing.

398. What?

399. Why do you keep laughing at me?

400. I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna watch

401. a really sad movie

402. and I'm gonna try to come back later.

403. http://hiqve.com/