1. Hey, thanks for coming down
to meet my sister, man.
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2. I had dinner with her
and my dad last night.
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3. And it was the first family
dinner I'd ever been to
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4. where we didn't have to
sneak out of the restaurant
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5. one at a time.
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6. Man, Hyde, first a new dad,
now a new sister?
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7. It's like you hit
the orphan lottery.
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8. Look, your dad's
got a whole jar
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9. of peppermint
patties! Heh.
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10. That's class, baby.
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11. That's nothing,
you guys.
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12. I found 20 bucks just
sitting on the desk,
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13. and I kind of
want to steal it.
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14. Wow. I'm really starting
to see the underbelly
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15. of not having a job.
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16. Check it out, Hyde.
Your dad knows skynyrd.
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17. I heard when you first meet
them, if you just yell
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18. "free bird" really loud,
they'll start playing it.
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19. Ah, Angie, meet your
new brother's friends...
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20. They're scruffy, but they
don't seem to be dangerous.
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21. Hey, guys,
check it out...
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22. Family 'fro.
Ha ha.
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23. I know you're thinking,
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24. what are the odds
that Steven would have
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25. a previously unknown
black half-sister?
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26. Well, I'll tell you...
2,437:1.
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27. I'm a math major.
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28. A math major? Awesome.
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29. I need some help building
a homemade rocket.
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30. And we also
need a hamster
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31. that's not afraid of
heights or being blown up.
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32. You must be kelso.
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33. Yeah, I am.
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34. Boy, am I glad you
showed up.
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35. It's a lot of pressure being
the only good-looking one
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36. in the room.
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37. Michael,
that is so rude.
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38. You know there's
two of us.
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39. And that
makes you Jackie.
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40. That's right!
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41. Hi!
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42. Ok, so let me bring
you up to speed
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43. on the group.
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44. Too skinny, too tall,
too horny, too foreign,
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45. too-rific.
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46. Look at this, my two kids
together and getting along.
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47. Ha ha. That's it, 20 bucks
for everybody.
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48. It's ok. I already
got mine.
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49. I took it
off your desk.
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50. I'm at a really weird
place in my life.
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51. Hello, Wisconsin!
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52. Hey, man.
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53. Hey! I brought
everyone cupcakes.
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54. Cool! Cool! Cupcakes!
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55. Here's a special one
for you...
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56. Vanilla on the outside
and chocolate on the inside.
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57. Ohh! Wait.
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58. What are
you doing?
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59. You knew I was
gonna take that one.
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60. Oh, well, too late.
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61. You know what? You're
always doing that.
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62. That is the reason
why we broke up.
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63. We broke up because you
were always cheating on me.
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64. That and
the cupcake thing.
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65. So this is where
you hang out, huh?
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66. Do the people
who own this place
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67. know we're down here?
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68. Yeah, they kind
of adopted me.
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69. You don't know
this about me,
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70. but I've had,
like, 13 dads.
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71. You know, I don't know
so much about you.
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72. I mean, like,
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73. what kind of stuff
did you do growing up?
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74. Did you play sports?
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75. Well, I used to play
this one game called stoop.
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76. What you do is
you sit on a stoop
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77. and you Chuck things
at passersby.
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78. I was a pro.
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79. I was a passerby.
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80. Did you know that
I am a shampoo boy
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81. down at
the beauty salon?
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82. Yes, ladies come
from miles around
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83. to be touched
by these magic hands.
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84. Is that why they're
all dry and chapped?
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85. No.
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86. That's from
my day off.
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87. So, Angie, are you excited
about your first day at work
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88. at dad's office
tomorrow?
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89. Yeah, but i'm
a little nervous.
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90. I mean, it's my first
job out of college.
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91. Oh, believe me, this is the
easiest job I've ever had.
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92. Wait. What about the time you
got paid 2 bucks to eat everything
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93. out of forman's fridge
and then you threw it up
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94. all over the place?
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95. That was you.
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96. Oh, yeah.
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97. Ha ha!
That was awesome.
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98. So it's cool if we
slack off at work.
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99. Look, anytime I even think
about work, I remember
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100. one thing...
I'm the boss' son.
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101. Then I head down
to the nearest bar
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102. to chug beer
and play darts.
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103. Ah, beer and darts.
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104. Keeping the eye patch
industry alive
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105. since the 1800s.
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106. Kitty, you told me we were
going to the hardware store.
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107. And you told me I'd have
a fur coat by winter.
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108. People say a lot
of things.
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109. But this is
no place for a man.
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110. It's 25 ladies
and me.
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111. I think I like my chances.
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112. Kitty, I got
to get out of here.
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113. One of these ladies is
likely to come over here
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114. and try to talk me
into a toupee.
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115. Ok, Fez...
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116. Give me the gossip.
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117. Is that glitter
in your hair?
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118. Are you making
me a pinata?
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119. No. I was working
on a new outfit
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120. for Eric to wear
at the roller disco.
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121. Roller disco? Eric
is into roller disco?
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122. Uh-oh.
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123. I'm sorry. We're gonna
have to reschedule
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124. 'cause I have to go spread
this embarrassing news.
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125. You can't tell anyone.
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126. I promised Eric
I'd keep it a secret.
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127. Besides, you used to
roller disco with Jackie.
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128. Sure, when
I was a child.
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129. But I'm a man now.
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130. I moved on
to robot dancing.
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131. Hey, you wanted to see me?
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132. Have a seat, Steven.
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133. It's come
to my attention
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134. you've been sneaking
off from work
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135. to go play darts.
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136. Well, in my defense,
it's just something to do
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137. to pass the time
while I'm drinking beer.
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138. Yes, Angie mentioned
that, too.
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139. What? You ratted me out on
my midday dart-and-booze?
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140. What? No! I just thought
it was a funny story.
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141. Steven, I'm so sorry. Daddy,
please don't fire him.
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142. You're not?
I'm not gonna fire him.
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143. I mean... you're not.
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144. Excellent choice.
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145. Steven, you may be
the boss' son,
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146. but you still have to
show up and do some work.
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147. Come on, man. Even you
said yourself it was fine
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148. if I slack off
every now and then.
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149. Look, I want you to
succeed here, Steven,
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150. so no more darts.
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151. Fine.
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152. Oh, but can I start
succeeding next week?
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153. See, there's
a tournament tomorrow.
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154. I'm already signed up
and everything.
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155. There's my little
roller disco king.
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156. Mom! Shh.
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157. Look, at any given moment,
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158. there are at least
three kids in this house
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159. who would use that
information to destroy me.
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160. We have to keep it
our secret.
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161. Well, I was just
reading the Bible...
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162. And it says that
keeping secrets is a sin.
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163. It goes lust, gluttony,
sloth, keeping secrets.
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164. Mom, we don't
even have a Bible.
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165. Remember last Christmas
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166. you spilled peppermint
schnapps all over it?
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167. Honey, just share
your secret.
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168. People are gonna
find out eventually,
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169. because that is a
surprisingly difficult thing
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170. to keep secret.
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171. Ok, I don't know
if you know this about me,
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172. but I already take
quite a bit of crap
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173. just walking around
being regular me.
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174. So, no, I'm not
gonna tell anybody.
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175. Do you want me
to tell them?
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176. No.
Yes?
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177. No.
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178. I'll think about it, ok?
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179. Maybe there's a way I can
kind of feel everybody out.
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180. Good.
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181. And, by the way,
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182. I did not spill
peppermint schnapps
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183. on the Bible.
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184. It was Sambuca.
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185. I am not
trailer trash.
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186. I know
something you don't know.
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187. Fez, you know a lot
of things I don't know,
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188. mostly because
they're disgusting
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189. and I don't
want to know them.
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190. True, but this is
about Eric.
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191. What do you think he's
doing every Wednesday night
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192. when he's not
with you?
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193. He's taking an at-home
Spanish course.
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194. He doesn't
want to be disturbed,
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195. so he locks himself
in his room.
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196. You know, I think
he's self-conscious
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197. because he can't roll his rs.
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198. Oh, believe me, Donna,
he is rrrolling his ass off.
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199. Ok, Fez, what's going on?
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200. Is there another woman?
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201. Yes.
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202. And it's Eric.
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203. Angie totally
set me up, man.
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204. I should have seen
this coming
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205. when I found out
she was a math major.
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206. Those girls
are always bitches.
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207. You know what your
problem is, Hyde?
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208. I'm too
good-looking.
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209. Who does Angie think
she is, anyway?
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210. She can't just
walk in here
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211. and pull your strings like
you're some kind of puppet.
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212. That's my job.
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213. Hey, uh, guys, just
to jump off topic here
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214. for a sec... when you're
dancing to say, like,
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215. Donna summer... whoever...
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216. Do you ever wish
that you were on wheels?
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217. Forman, so many parts
of what you just said
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218. make me want to kick
your ass.
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219. Eric, you know what
your problem is?
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220. I'm too
good-looking.
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221. Ok, it's
Wednesday night,
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222. so you guys know
what that means...
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223. Off to my room
for a little espanol,
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224. or should I say
off to my room-o?
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225. You got a lot of nerve
showing up here.
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226. All right,
back off, Hyde.
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227. She's here for me.
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228. Hey, mama.
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229. Hey, so what the hell was
that all about today?
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230. Look, my dad said that
if I did well in college,
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231. someday the business
would be mine.
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232. And I did my part.
So there's no way
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233. I'm gonna share everything
with some frizzy-haired kid
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234. fresh out of juvie.
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235. Ok, I'm working
at that company
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236. because our dad
wants me there.
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237. And don't insult me
with that juvie crap.
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238. I'm over 18.
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239. If I get pinched,
I'm doing big boy time.
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240. Running this company
is my dream,
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241. so if you don't
quit tomorrow,
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242. it's gonna be war.
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243. He's your friend. Talk
some sense into him.
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244. If you wanted
my help,
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245. you should have
brought more cupcakes.
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246. Fez, come on.
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247. Just tell us
what Eric's up to.
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248. Donna, if I learned anything
from all my years as a virgin...
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249. It's that seeing it
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250. is much better
than talking about it.
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251. What the hell was that?
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252. That, Donna,
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253. that's what's left
of your boyfriend.
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254. So, Steven, what are
you gonna do about Angie?
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255. How are you gonna
fight back?
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256. I don't know
that I am.
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257. I mean, you're asking
me to fight for a job.
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258. That's a tough
sell.
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259. But this is
my company at stake.
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260. Jackie, would
you stop saying
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261. that everything
that's mine is yours?
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262. Ok, Steven, last Valentine's
day, I gave you a card
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263. that said "be mine,"
and you said yes.
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264. And by saying yes, you agreed
that everything you had,
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265. have, or will have from
now until the end of time
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266. is mine as well.
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267. Read the fine print,
Steven.
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268. This whole work thing
is a mess.
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269. I miss my glory days
of being an orphan.
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270. A little piece of advice
about having a family...
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271. Get used to being
screwed over.
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272. Well, that's a very
cynical view of family.
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273. Oh, yeah, and you and your
sister get along so well.
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274. Oh, I talked to a lawyer.
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275. She's not getting
a damn thing.
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276. Red, we have
something to tell you.
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277. It's pretty shocking.
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278. I'm not sure how
to break it to you.
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279. Ok, you better
let me handle this.
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280. All right.
Everybody whose son
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281. is not a roller disco-er,
take one step forward.
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282. Not so fast, red!
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283. Someone's been working
on their spin, susie.
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284. Nice. Very nice.
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285. It's magic time.
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286. Hey, everybody, let's give a
great big roller palace welcome
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287. to the one,
the only, rainbow!
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288. No!
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289. Nice shorts, rainbow.
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290. Hey. Did you come up
to pack up your office?
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291. Listen, sis, about
the whole job thing,
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292. I thought about going
head-to-head with you,
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293. but I decided I just
can't stoop to your level.
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294. Well, good.
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295. But she can.
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296. Right now she's telling
everybody we work with
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297. that you stripped your
way through college.
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298. Please. Like anybody's
gonna believe her.
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299. My dad's rich.
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300. Oh, no, no, no.
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301. You didn't strip because
you needed the money.
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302. Word around
the water cooler is...
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303. You stripped because
you liked it.
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304. I know, I know!
What a whore. Whoo!
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305. Stop laughing at me.
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306. I am not a stripper.
I am a math major.
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307. Ha ha!
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308. Jackie, if there was
ever a game show
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309. called "make that girl cry,"
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310. I'd go on with you.
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311. Oh, we'd so win
the car.
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312. All right. Everybody
clear some space.
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313. It's rainbow!
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314. Now, look, Eric,
they love you,
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315. so it's a good thing
I told Fez.
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316. I didn't tell you
I told Fez.
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317. I didn't tell Fez.
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318. Eric,
how did this happen?
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319. I mean, you don't just
wake up one morning,
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320. throw on some skates,
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321. and start doing cartwheels
to sister sledge.
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322. It all started
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323. when I went down to
the sporting goods store.
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324. I saw this pair
of roller skates,
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325. and when I tried
them on,
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326. well, it was like the
first time Joe namath
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327. laid his hands on a bat.
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328. The next thing I can
remember is spinning...
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329. Just spinning and
spinning and spinning.
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330. When I finally stopped, I
found myself at the park.
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331. That's where I met
up with these people.
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332. Wait. Those skate freaks
that hang out
Copy !req
333. down by
the basketball court?
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334. Every time we
want to shoot hoops,
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335. we got to scare them off
with bottle rockets.
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336. Kelso, they're
not freaks.
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337. They're just like you
and me, but on wheels.
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338. Eric, let me tell
you a little story.
Copy !req
339. When I was a boy, there
was a kid who wanted to be
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340. a ballet dancer,
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341. and all the other kids
made fun of him.
Copy !req
342. But years later,
when he came back to town,
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343. he had achieved
his dream.
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344. He was a dancer with
the New York City ballet.
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345. And you know what happened?
Copy !req
346. You learned your little lesson
about judging people unfairly, huh?
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347. No. A bunch of guys
got together
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348. and beat the crap
out of him.
Copy !req
349. Hey, red, you know
what your problem is?
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350. I'm too good-looking.
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351. Ok, dad, I hear
what you're saying,
Copy !req
352. but... I honestly don't
know if I can give it up.
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353. Why don't you
try something else?
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354. I suggest robot dancing.
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355. Feel
the beat. Disco robot.
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356. Daddy, I can't
work with him.
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357. He's telling lies
about me.
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358. Actually, that's not true.
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359. She's telling them.
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360. Steven, why is that
girl always in the office?
Copy !req
361. And why has she been
passing out dress code memos
Copy !req
362. to my employees?
Copy !req
363. Um, well, she's against the
casualization of the workplace.
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364. She doesn't belong here
and neither does he.
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365. I can't believe
what I'm seeing...
Copy !req
366. A brother and sister
fighting each other.
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367. Hey,
we are family.
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368. Look, if you want him
to stay, that's fine,
Copy !req
369. but if he stays,
I'm out of here.
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370. Well, that's
too bad,
Copy !req
371. because I'm opening
up a new record store
Copy !req
372. and I wanted the
two of you to run it.
Copy !req
373. But maybe I'll just let
Steven run it by himself.
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374. Hell, yeah!
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375. Nice going, sis.
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376. No. You know I've always
wanted my own store.
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377. Well, if you two can't find
a way to work this out...
Copy !req
378. We can. I know we can.
Copy !req
379. He's my brother.
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380. I try to get him fired,
he calls me a stripper.
Copy !req
381. This is how we play.
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382. Well, I'm glad, because
if this kept going,
Copy !req
383. I would have had to
send the two of you
Copy !req
384. to your offices
without any dinner.
Copy !req
385. That's a dad joke.
I love it.
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386. So, looks like you're gonna
have to put up with me after all.
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387. Hey, I said
I'd work with you.
Copy !req
388. It doesn't mean
I like you.
Copy !req
389. Your not liking me doesn't
bother me that much now that I won.
Copy !req
390. And by "I won,"
I mean you lost.
Copy !req
391. Oh. And also...
Copy !req
392. You know, here i'm
just an average kid.
Copy !req
393. But down there...
Copy !req
394. Down there,
I was a star.
Copy !req
395. What?
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396. Oh, did I make the kissy
face too early again?
Copy !req
397. No, no. It's nothing.
Copy !req
398. What?
Copy !req
399. Why do you keep
laughing at me?
Copy !req
400. I'm gonna go home
and I'm gonna watch
Copy !req
401. a really sad movie
Copy !req
402. and I'm gonna try
to come back later.
Copy !req
403. http://hiqve.com/
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