1. h
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2. ht
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3. htt
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4. http
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5. /
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6. http://
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7. http://h
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8. http://hi
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9. http://hiq
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10. http://hiqv
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11. http://hiqve
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12. http://hiqve.
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13. http://hiqve.c
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14. http://hiqve.com/
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15. http://hiqve.com/
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16. What?
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17. I'm starting to notice
something about you.
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18. You're still here!
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19. What your father means is,
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20. you haven't seemed like yourself
since you called off the wedding.
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21. No. What I mean is,
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22. get out!
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23. Well, I'm sorry. It's only been a week.
It was kind of traumatic, you know?
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24. Last night I only slept,
like, nine hours.
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25. Honey, we just... We want
to know what your plans are.
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26. I would've waited until next
week to ask you, but apparently,
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27. some people agree to things and
then just do whatever they want.
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28. I've got some questions,
I want answers.
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29. What are you doing
about moving out?
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30. I don't know.
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31. - About Donna?
- I don't know.
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32. Your job?
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33. I don't know.
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34. Your future?
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35. Okay, I am gonna go ahead
and hit you with an
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36. "I don't know."
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37. Then no food for you.
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38. - What?
- Red, he's so skinny.
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39. Just take away his car.
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40. No. I'm trying to teach
the boy responsibility.
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41. I want a plan out of you by
tonight, or no dinner, either.
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42. Dad, that's not...
Wait. Mom, what's for dinner?
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43. - Fried chicken.
- Oh, come on!
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44. Steven.
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45. - When are you moving out?
- Soon.
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46. - How's your girlfriend?
- Shallow as hell.
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47. - Job?
- Dead-end.
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48. - Future?
- Bleak.
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49. Kitty, feed the boy.
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50. Hello, Wisconsin!
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51. Oh, Donna, your hair
is gonna look so fabulous.
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52. It's weird.
I actually feel different.
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53. Well, now that you're
not getting married,
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54. you have to re-energize
yourself spiritually.
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55. And making superficial changes
is the best way to do that.
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56. Hello.
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57. Oh, come on. A sweater vest?
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58. Jackie, if you don't have anything nice
to say, just don't say anything at all.
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59. Well, if I followed that rule,
I'd never speak again.
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60. Yeah, that's kind of the idea.
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61. Okay. Okay. I'm going.
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62. You look like a circus poodle!
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63. Hey, so, uh...
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64. Look,
I think we need to talk about
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65. us, since the
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66. matrimonial incident.
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67. I mean, we've seen each other,
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68. but we haven't really
talked about anything.
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69. Yeah, but it's been nice, right?
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70. I mean,
I'm sick of talking about us.
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71. And I'm not mad,
because you were right.
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72. I mean, we were about to make
a huge mistake.
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73. I can't live in
a trailer with you.
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74. I'd hear you
going to the bathroom.
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75. Yes, I had thought about that.
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76. I was only going to go in a
bottle after you were asleep, so...
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77. See, remember when our relationship
was the most fun thing in our lives?
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78. And then we put all
this pressure on it.
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79. I wish we could just, you know,
hang out without all that stuff.
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80. Holy Mother of God.
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81. Do you like it?
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82. Are you kidding? Yes.
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83. It's good.
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84. I think it's, like, a sign
that you're loosening up.
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85. Like, maybe now you might
like that thing I try in bed
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86. that makes you mad.
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87. I won't.
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88. I'll still try.
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89. See, this is great.
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90. Your perviness is
our biggest problem now.
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91. - Just like the old days!
- Yes.
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92. Exactly.
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93. See, we should just hang out.
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94. You know, get back in touch
with ourselves.
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95. That sounds dirty.
Is it dirty?
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96. Really, I'm serious.
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97. I have a plan.
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98. You have a plan? Perfect. I
need a plan. What's your plan?
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99. I'm gonna DJ at
the radio station full-time,
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100. and rededicate
myself to feminism.
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101. At the radio station?
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102. Is that... What?
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103. Are you gonna play more Heart?
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104. And other stuff.
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105. - Maybe some Benatar.
- Wow.
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106. Whatever. I'm blonde now.
I can do what I want.
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107. Hello.
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108. What are you doing
with that sandwich?
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109. I thought that we established
that you needed a plan.
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110. Oh, I've got a plan.
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111. Donna is gonna work full-time
at the radio station,
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112. and rededicate
herself to feminism.
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113. Feminists.
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114. Equal pay's fine,
but put a little lipstick on.
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115. Whatever. Anyway, that's the plan.
We came up with it this morning.
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116. That's Donna's plan.
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117. What's your plan?
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118. My plan
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119. is to support Donna's plan.
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120. Thought you had me there,
didn't you?
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121. - Get out!
- Fine.
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122. But know this,
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123. I will have my fried chicken.
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124. How come you're making
so many sandwiches?
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125. Bulking up for the winter?
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126. No, no, no, no.
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127. No, no, no.
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128. I didn't mean it like that.
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129. No, see, it's like...
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130. You're the mama bear,
and I'm the papa bear.
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131. We're bears!
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132. Fine, we're not bears.
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133. I'm sorry.
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134. I made so many sandwiches, not
because I am a fat, pre-hibernation bear,
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135. but because Bob is coming over for lunch,
and since he is still dating Pam and Midge,
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136. like some kind of gigolo,
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137. I didn't know how
much food I would need.
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138. Hey, everybody.
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139. I think you know my date
and former wife, Midge.
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140. Bob, they know me.
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141. It's me, Midge!
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142. So, does this mean
you two are back together?
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143. Well, we've been
talking things over
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144. and we're pretty close
to working things out.
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145. What is going on here?
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146. - Pam!
- Back off! He's mine!
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147. That is not what you said
to me in bed last night.
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148. Well, you should have heard what
he said to me last night in the hot tub.
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149. You told me that you got up
to get an ice cream cone.
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150. I don't know why you're upset,
I wasn't gone that long.
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151. All right! Eric traded in
Donna for a hot blonde!
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152. Oh, crap!
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153. She looks exactly like Donna!
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154. That is Donna, you ding-dong.
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155. Only now, she lets Forman
do that thing he's been trying.
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156. - Eric!
- Hyde...
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157. I said, "Maybe."
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158. Your hair is beautiful.
I want to touch it.
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159. Hey! I can do this all day.
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160. Okay, fine.
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161. - What? You don't like it?
- I like my women
like I like my wine.
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162. Red and full of alcohol.
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163. Whatever. When I was a redhead, at
the bakery, they'd give me a free donut.
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164. But as a blonde,
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165. apple fritter.
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166. So I'm gonna stay
blonde for a while.
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167. Now I'm gonna go to the bakery.
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168. You're a lucky man, Forman.
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169. Not only is Donna not mad,
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170. but as a bonus, she's
fixed herself up all whore-y.
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171. And I have an announcement.
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172. Donna and I have decided we're not
talking about our relationship anymore.
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173. Hooray!
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174. - Bravo!
- Mazel Tov!
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175. Finally, we'll have some time to
talk about things I want to talk about.
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176. Number one, cocoa butter.
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177. It doesn't taste
like cocoa or butter.
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178. It's gonna be so great to be
with Donna without all the talking,
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179. and
the decisions and the labels.
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180. You know, "Am I your fiance?"
You know, "Am I your boyfriend?"
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181. Hey, wait a minute.
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182. Are you and Donna
boyfriend and girlfriend, or not?
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183. No, I'm saying,
why put labels on it?
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184. Are you dating,
or can you see other people?
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185. Why are you so interested?
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186. He's trying to figure out
if he can nail Donna.
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187. Hyde!
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188. Let me build up to it! Damn!
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189. So, can I?
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190. No.
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191. Thanks for nothing, Hyde!
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192. Eric, you really got it made with
Donna. No responsibilities, no plans.
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193. What a great way
to live your life.
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194. You know what? That is a
great way to live your life.
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195. Okay, you know what, you guys?
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196. I figured out what
I'm gonna do this year.
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197. You're gonna be the first person
to put on my human firecracker suit.
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198. No, I'm talking... Wait.
What is a firecracker suit?
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199. Right. So,
it's this suit. The... Wait.
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200. You have to agree to wear it
before I tell you.
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201. I'm intrigued.
We'll talk more later.
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202. You guys, my dad said I had to
have a plan this year, and now I have it.
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203. I'm gonna take the year off.
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204. Isn't that what Elvis said right
before he died on the toilet?
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205. No, you guys, seriously.
Look, rich kids do it, right?
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206. After high school,
they take a year off,
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207. go to Europe, figure out
what they're gonna do.
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208. I'm gonna do exactly that.
Just go nowhere and do nothing.
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209. - So you're gonna be a bum?
- In the grandest
European tradition! Yes!
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210. Hey, why not?
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211. He's young, he's got a free place to
live, a girl that's way too hot for him.
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212. Ride the ride, baby.
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213. Exactly.
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214. You know, this whole marriage
thing has made me think.
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215. Why am I in such
a hurry to grow up?
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216. You know,
life, it's like a train.
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217. It's bearing down on you,
and guess what?
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218. It's gonna hit you.
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219. So you can either start running
when it's far off in the distance,
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220. or you can pull up a chair,
crack open a beer,
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221. and just watch it come.
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222. I did that once.
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223. No, Kelso, not a real train.
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224. - A metaphorical one.
- Like a... Like a ghost train?
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225. Yes.
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226. A ghost train.
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227. You know, I tell you, Red,
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228. I don't like this situation
with Bob and two women.
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229. I have put up with a lot of
weird things in this neighborhood.
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230. Hot tubs,
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231. wife-swapping,
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232. jogging...
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233. Now I am drawing the line. You
have to make Bob choose one woman.
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234. Well, the choice is obvious.
Pam.
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235. Red, this isn't your decision,
it's his.
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236. And he has to pick Midge.
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237. But Pam is so tan.
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238. But, Red, if Bob picks Midge,
he will reunite a shattered family,
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239. bringing their only daughter a glimpse of
happiness for the first time in her life.
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240. But Pam is so tan.
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241. Forman?
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242. Your whole year-off plan?
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243. It's lazy, it's selfish, and it's
gonna piss a lot of people off.
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244. So, nice job.
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245. - Thank you.
- What are you
gonna do for cash, man?
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246. I mean, you know, rich kids,
they have a trust fund.
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247. All's you've got is some poorly
assembled model airplanes.
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248. I melted those.
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249. I guess if I have to work,
it's not a year off, so...
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250. Maybe I can sell something.
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251. Guys, what do I have
that's worth any money?
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252. Oh, Donna! I can sell
your engagement ring!
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253. She is going to kill him.
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254. Fez, get out of the swing zone.
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255. I got ten bucks on the girl.
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256. And I mean Donna.
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257. Actually, I have no problem
with you selling it.
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258. Donna, you are so amazing.
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259. I swear, if I had created you in a laboratory,
you could not say more perfect things.
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260. Yeah, but then she'd have
those bolts coming out of her neck.
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261. Well, the only problem is,
I don't have the ring.
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262. What?
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263. Well, when I was mad at you
for blowing off the wedding,
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264. I threw it off the water tower.
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265. Donna, that ring is a symbol of
our eternal love for each other.
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266. You were gonna sell it to finance
a year of napping and boozing.
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267. Yeah, that's true.
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268. So...
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269. Who's wrong here?
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270. I think there's a little
something wrong with all of us.
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271. Okay. Well, if you
threw the ring from up here,
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272. I mean, it's gotta be
around here somewhere.
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273. All right. Excuse me.
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274. I am a police officer in training,
so we're gonna do this by the book.
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275. What book?
You didn't read any book.
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276. No, but I was assigned one.
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277. Killed four bees with it.
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278. All right, what we're gonna do is
we're gonna recreate the scene.
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279. Donna, Eric has just
let you down in a big way.
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280. You're up on this tower.
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281. You've had a few beers, so
you're starting to feel a little loose,
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282. and very, very vulnerable.
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283. - Okay, sounds about right.
- Okay.
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284. Do you wanna make out?
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285. Kelso, I thought you were
recreating the scene.
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286. I'm taking the scene
in a new direction.
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287. Okay. Okay, let's just get to
the part where she threw the ring.
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288. Okay.
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289. So, what we're gonna do here
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290. is we're gonna throw an M&M
into the woods in place of the ring.
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291. Wherever it lands,
we'll search there first.
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292. Fez, give him the M&Ms, man.
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293. Yeah, about that...
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294. Whose dumb idea it was
to let me hold the M&Ms?
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295. All right.
Instead of the candy,
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296. we will throw my
keys into the woods.
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297. Oh, crap. I just threw
my keys into the woods!
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298. Sure did.
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299. Why didn't
somebody say something?
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300. So that you'd throw your keys
into the woods.
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301. Oh, wait. That's a good burn.
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302. I had very little to do with it.
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303. Okay, Bob, what the hell
are you doing up on your roof?
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304. Hiding from my girlfriends.
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305. This afternoon, we were all
talking about our favorite juices.
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306. Pam said her
favorite juice was cranberry.
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307. Midge said she liked apple.
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308. To avoid trouble, I said
my favorite was CranApple.
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309. They viewed that as cheating,
and now I'm on the roof.
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310. Kitty and I think that
you should choose between
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311. Pam and Midge.
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312. And when I say Kitty and I,
I mean, just Kitty.
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313. And when I say choose
between Pam and Midge,
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314. I mean, choose Pam.
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315. It's tough. I really love Pam.
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316. But Midge is Donna's mother.
How can I turn my back on that?
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317. Look, just give me a name. I
gotta take something back to Kitty.
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318. So don't go home, stay here.
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319. I'm not gonna spend the day
hiding on the roof like a damn pigeon.
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320. I got beer.
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321. Well, it is peaceful up here.
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322. All right.
Did anybody find anything?
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323. I found a pair of
my sister's panties.
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324. I knew they were hers
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325. because they had her name
and phone number in them.
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326. Girl's gotta advertise.
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327. You guys, I'm starving, okay?
I haven't eaten all day.
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328. - Here.
- Oh!
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329. Oh, thanks, Fez.
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330. Yeah, good Cheetos.
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331. Really? 'Cause I found them in
the woods, and they were damp.
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332. Like something peed on them.
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333. Awesome! Eric ate Peetos!
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334. Okay, look,
I don't wanna start anything,
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335. but had you bought Donna
a decent-sized diamond,
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336. we would have found it by now.
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337. The ring was pretty small, man.
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338. Whenever I saw it, I thought
Donna was really far away.
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339. She was standing
right next to me.
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340. Yeah, when I first saw it, I said,
"Donna, there's dust on your ring."
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341. Then I realized
that was the ring.
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342. Guys, guys, stop.
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343. You don't find it soon,
a mosquito's going to eat it.
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344. Okay, I love the ring.
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345. It was petite, not showy.
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346. Thank you.
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347. Well, you know, Donna
has a thing for miniatures.
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348. Okay, you guys,
enough about the ring.
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349. Obviously, it was enough
for me to pay for my year off.
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350. And according to Esquire,
sweater vests are in.
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351. Whoa! Jackie, help!
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352. Oh, get away!
You touched Peetos!
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353. He touched Peetos!
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354. You know what? Falling off
that water tower was a sign.
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355. The minute I
stopped working hard,
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356. I accomplished exactly
what I needed to do.
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357. I found the ring.
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358. And, if you're
gonna land on a diamond,
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359. it's best to land on
the smallest one ever made.
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360. Well, I'm afraid your schoolyard
insults have no power here, child.
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361. I'm a whole new me.
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362. Tougher, braver and louder.
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363. I'm gonna go tell
my dad what's what,
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364. and get my
gosh-darn fried chicken.
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365. Okay,
Donna, here's the situation.
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366. I have to choose
between Pam and Midge,
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367. and it's a very personal and
intimate decision that only I can make.
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368. It's really scary,
so I'd like you to do it.
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369. Dad, I can't choose for you.
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370. Come on. You choose my shirts,
choose my lady love.
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371. Mom, where are you going?
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372. Bob, I saw how hard you
struggled to get on the roof earlier,
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373. what with
the kicking and the wiggling.
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374. I realized that it was time for me to go
home and give you and Midge a chance.
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375. You're one fine lady.
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376. Well, I'll miss you, Bob.
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377. And, honey,
it's scary to be on my own,
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378. but if you come with me,
I know I can do it.
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379. Oh, Mom, I would love
to come home with you!
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380. Oh, good.
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381. You're the only one who
can explain things to the maid!
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382. Yeah.
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383. Okay.
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384. I'm here to earn my dinner.
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385. What am I doing about Donna?
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386. We're hanging out.
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387. What am I doing about my job?
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388. I quit.
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389. What am I doing about my future?
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390. Nothing.
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391. When am I moving out?
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392. Make me.
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393. Hey, Fez, I think I have
something in my eye.
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394. Is it Donna's engagement ring?
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395. No, no, it's too big for that.
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396. Hey, maybe we should
get some doctors' masks,
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397. so we don't accidentally
inhale Donna's ring.
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398. Okay, okay. Donna, you thought the
engagement ring was big enough, right?
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399. Burn!
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400. I didn't say anything.
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401. So say something.
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402. It could've been bigger.
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403. Burn!
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404. http://hiqve.com/
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