1. So you gotta work at the radio
station on Christmas Eve?
Copy !req
2. God, it's like doesn't anyone respect
the sanctity of that holy night?
Copy !req
3. We were gonna get drunk and fool around
behind your dad's manger scene.
Copy !req
4. But this is my first shot at DJ-ing.
Copy !req
5. If I do well, Hot Donna could be the regular DJ
on Tuesdays from 1 to 5 am.
Copy !req
6. Every insomniac and burn out in town
is gonna know who I am.
Copy !req
7. Well, say hello to your target audience.
Copy !req
8. Play more Zeppelin.
Copy !req
9. You guys, I've got some terrible news.
I've just been kicked off the cheerleading squad.
Copy !req
10. - Oh my little Jesus!
- Oh no!
- Why?
Copy !req
11. Jackie I know how you feel,
I once got kicked off a cheerleader.
Copy !req
12. Well I need to get back on that squad.
Copy !req
13. They might be a bunch of pom-pom waving bitches,
but they're all I know.
Copy !req
14. Steven, you've gotta take me to the
"Christmas Eve dance" tomorrow night.
Copy !req
15. Uh no.
Copy !req
16. I can either dance with, or spend Christmas Eve with you;
cannot do a combo.
Copy !req
17. Steven, they will never take me back
if I don't show up all proud.
Copy !req
18. If you could just see... that this is something
that's... really important to me then... you'd
understand that as my boyfriend... you should go.
Copy !req
19. Fine!
Copy !req
20. Please...
Copy !req
21. Fine!
Copy !req
22. Hey shut up, if I'm going,
you guys are coming with me.
Copy !req
23. Oh no, cannot go to a high school dance!
Copy !req
24. I'm gonna be a father soon
I gotta start acting more mature.
Copy !req
25. All right, orange!
Copy !req
26. Yeah, I'm not going either.
The football team and I have a little disagreement.
Copy !req
27. They think it's funny to stuff me into a locker,
Copy !req
28. and I disagree!
Copy !req
29. Yeah, man, the day I graduated, I promised myself
I would never set foot in that
Copy !req
30. God forsaken place again.
Copy !req
31. Great news, kids.
Copy !req
32. Red's gonna be the Santa down at the mall on Christmas Eve,
and I've signed you all up to be his little helpers.
Copy !req
33. Oh, I'm sorry Mom, we're all going to the
Christmas Eve dance at school.
Copy !req
34. Don't go away, kids,
A Year Without A Santa Claus will be right back.
Copy !req
35. Man, Heat Miser is badass.
Copy !req
36. So what time are you coming down the station tonight?
Copy !req
37. Let's see, the Christmas dance starts eight o'clock,
so I'll just come as soon as it gets lame...
Copy !req
38. say uh 8:02.
Copy !req
39. Yeah. Hey y'know what, I'll even bring you something
sweet to munch on - oh and some cookies!
Copy !req
40. What? Oh, What?
Copy !req
41. Okay now,
Copy !req
42. please stand still.
Copy !req
43. Nobody likes a Santa with plumber's butt.
Copy !req
44. - Why am I doing this?
- Because I wanna force some good cheer through
your clogged arteries and into your cranky heart.
Copy !req
45. Yeah, it's like Christmas Draino.
Copy !req
46. I can't believe
you're replacing me as Santa, Red.
Copy !req
47. Three years and now management says
I'm too jolly?
Copy !req
48. - What do you want, Bob?
- I want to be Santa!
Copy !req
49. Well, it's Red's turn this year.
Copy !req
50. Santa could use an elf.
Copy !req
51. Fine. But I don't wanna sit in the back and
pretend to assemble toys,
Copy !req
52. I want to participate.
Copy !req
53. Yeah Bob, you gotta keep your dignity.
Copy !req
54. If you're in an elf costume,
you don't want that tiny hammer making you look silly.
Copy !req
55. Steven, for the Christmas Eve dance... What do you think about this tie...
Maybe this jacket... How about a blazer?
- Fine!
Copy !req
56. Bolo?
Copy !req
57. - Fine
- Ok!
Copy !req
58. Okay Brooke, I made a list of all the reasons
why I'm gonna make a great dad
Copy !req
59. for our little baby.
Copy !req
60. Okay number one, I am a waiter,
Copy !req
61. so we'll never run out of straws.
Copy !req
62. See, look kids love straws
Copy !req
63. Michel, look I really appreciate the gesture,
but no thanks.
Copy !req
64. Seriously, I think if we just hang out,
you'll see that I'm getting a lot more mature.
Copy !req
65. I mean, just the other day I watched golf,
and took a nap.
Copy !req
66. Look Michael, if we weren't in this situation
I think you'd be a really good friend.
Copy !req
67. I mean you're nice, you bring me stuff, dogs love you.
Copy !req
68. I just think we should limit our time together...
Copy !req
69. to almost none.
Copy !req
70. Alright, how about we make a compromise between
'almost none' and what I want to do, which is 'it'?
Copy !req
71. Okay, if you want, you can help me hang decorations
tonight for the library's Christmas party.
Copy !req
72. Spend Christmas Eve in a library?
Copy !req
73. Why don't you just kick me in the 'nads?
Copy !req
74. Okay, here comes Julie, the head cheerleader.
Now, Steven make me look good.
Copy !req
75. - Hello Jackie.
- Hello Julie!
Copy !req
76. This is my boyfriend,
Steven J. Hyde the third.
Copy !req
77. First two are in jail.
Copy !req
78. He pretends to be poor,
Copy !req
79. isn't that funny?
Copy !req
80. I have to say, I thought you'd be too embarrassed
to show your face here tonight.
Copy !req
81. Well to be honest, I only came to see your outfit...
so I'd know what not to wear.
Copy !req
82. Well, let me show you the back.
Copy !req
83. You're trying to get back on the cheerleading squad;
shouldn't you be nice to her?
Copy !req
84. Bitchiness is the only language cheerleaders understand.
Copy !req
85. These are bad girls, they need to be punished,
and they know it.
Copy !req
86. Yeah this is way better
than hanging out at the library with Brooke.
Copy !req
87. Lotta great memories in here.
Copy !req
88. Did it in there...
Copy !req
89. did it back there...
Copy !req
90. got caught by Miss Tompkins doing it down there...
Copy !req
91. did it with Miss Tompkins over there.
Copy !req
92. Everyone look for football players,
I cannot spend another holiday in a locker.
Copy !req
93. And this time if I don't show up for two days,
come look for me.
Copy !req
94. Oh my God, Eric Forman?
Copy !req
95. You look great, I love your shirt.
Copy !req
96. Really?
Copy !req
97. I wore this shirt for four years,
and no one said a thing.
Copy !req
98. I guess now you really fill it out.
Copy !req
99. Thanks.
Copy !req
100. I'm... I'm like up to seventeen push-ups a night so...
Copy !req
101. No I don't think that's it.
I think it's because you're not a high school boy anymore.
Copy !req
102. Yeah, you're eighteen now.
You've seen and done it all.
Copy !req
103. No, no... yes..
Copy !req
104. Yes I have.
Copy !req
105. Hey, you need to watch out okay? Girls are talking to you,
I think there might be a practical joke in the works.
Copy !req
106. No, man, I don't think so.
I think it's cause I graduated.
Copy !req
107. Hyde, am I cool now?
Copy !req
108. Well, you're cool like margarine is butter.
Copy !req
109. Close, but there's a little aftertaste.
Copy !req
110. Oi, Oi, Oi,
Copy !req
111. Oi, Oi,
Copy !req
112. Women to the left of me
Copy !req
113. And women to the right
Copy !req
114. Ain't got no gun
Copy !req
115. Ain't got no knife
Copy !req
116. Don't you start no fight
Copy !req
117. 'cause I'm T.N.T.
Copy !req
118. I'm dynamite
Copy !req
119. T.N.T.
Copy !req
120. And I'll win the fight
Copy !req
121. T.N.T.
Copy !req
122. I'm a power load
Copy !req
123. T.N.T.
Copy !req
124. Watch me explode
Copy !req
125. I'm dirty
Copy !req
126. mean and might unclean...
Copy !req
127. You're in the middle of a Christmas Eve rock block
on WFPP with me, Hot Donna.
Copy !req
128. That was bacon.
Copy !req
129. I recorded that myself earlier today.
Copy !req
130. Stay tuned for more Christmas classics with me,
Hot Donna.
Copy !req
131. I'm sorry but that is just too cool.
Copy !req
132. Okay, Mr. Clause.
Copy !req
133. Let's hear your best Santa laugh.
Copy !req
134. You left out a 'ho', Red.
Copy !req
135. It's three ho's,
did you even read the Santa manual?
Copy !req
136. Okay Red, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Copy !req
137. Just remember Santa is a cheerful, jolly fellow,
who never calls a child dumb-ass.
Copy !req
138. So what do ya want for Christmas?
Copy !req
139. I want a slinky.
Copy !req
140. A slinky?
Oh you'll get sick of a slinky in a day.
Copy !req
141. I'm putting you down for flash cards.
Math - that's what you're getting for Christmas. Next!
Copy !req
142. - I want a pony.
- Ponies die.
Copy !req
143. What you need is a good pair of boots.
Copy !req
144. Go on keep it moving.
Copy !req
145. I want a flying car.
Copy !req
146. I did too when I was your age, kid.
Copy !req
147. But then the future came and...
Copy !req
148. took my dreams away.
Copy !req
149. Just like it's gonna take yours.
Copy !req
150. Okay, okay little girl, y'know what?
Copy !req
151. I bet if you're extra good,
you'll get your flying car one day.
Copy !req
152. Don't listen to her, it's a lie.
Copy !req
153. Bad Santa.
Copy !req
154. Yep, life after graduation sure is sweet.
Copy !req
155. Some days I wake up and I'm like...
Copy !req
156. "hey I'm having ice-cream for breakfast"
Copy !req
157. And you know what, I do.
Copy !req
158. Wow, so what have you two been
up to since graduation?
Copy !req
159. She talked to me, what do I do?
Copy !req
160. Yeah, I got a librarian pregnant.
Copy !req
161. Damn, good answer.
Copy !req
162. So, like Eric,
what are your plans for the future?
Copy !req
163. Well, I guess
I'm just gonna keep on keepin' on, y'know?
Copy !req
164. I'm thinking about buying a boat.
Copy !req
165. Okay, we're back and uh,
Copy !req
166. if my boyfriend's listening you're late and I'm a little worried
you're trapped in a snow drift or something.
Copy !req
167. So honey if you're cold, I'm with ya baby.
Copy !req
168. Okay so let's take some requests.
Hello, you're on the air.
Copy !req
169. Hi, I'd like to dedicate 'He's the Greatest Dancer' by Sister Sledge,
to Eric Forman, the coolest guy at the Christmas dance.
Copy !req
170. What? He's still at the dance?
Copy !req
171. Sorry I have to go, he's telling us about his boat.
Copy !req
172. That sneaky bastard.
Copy !req
173. Uh, that sneaky bastard Santa Clause is on his way
with a non-stop block of classic Christmas tunes.
Copy !req
174. And remember you're listening to WFPP with me,
Hot Donna.
Copy !req
175. You hear that Eric Forman? That's not bacon,
that's your ass when I get a hold of you.
Copy !req
176. Hey, I brought you something sweet to munch on -
Copy !req
177. oh and some cookies!
Copy !req
178. Oh, man, I knew that was funny.
Copy !req
179. Man, I can't stop thinking about Brooke.
Copy !req
180. I mean, both you and me know
that every girl in here wants me...
Copy !req
181. except for the couple of weirdo's that seem to want you...
Copy !req
182. but I don't care about any on them.
Copy !req
183. Look Kelso, are you sure you don't just have a crush
on Brooke because she's a librarian,
Copy !req
184. and you've seen some librarian layout in Playboy?
Copy !req
185. Eric, I'm sure that's part of it.
Copy !req
186. Whatever, I'm going to the library.
Copy !req
187. Whoa, that felt weird to say.
Copy !req
188. Steven you don't look like
you're having a good time.
Copy !req
189. I'm not.
Copy !req
190. I know, but I need you to act like you are.
Copy !req
191. Just think about stuff you enjoy,
like shoplifting or dirty jeans.
Copy !req
192. Jackie, how come you never to me you
were dating an older man?
Copy !req
193. Well I guess I was just distracted by the life
I lead outside of cheerleading,
Copy !req
194. where I do fun and glamorous things,
with my older, mysterious boyfriend.
Copy !req
195. That's true. Why just last week,
we sat on the couch and had a fight.
Copy !req
196. I'm jealous.
Copy !req
197. Ah this dance sucks.
Copy !req
198. None of the girls remember me,
they all think I'm a waiter.
Copy !req
199. Hey, I got an idea
how you can get these girls attention.
Copy !req
200. Oh boy,
does it involve me hiding in the girl's bathroom?
Copy !req
201. - No!
- Okay, we'll try your way.
Copy !req
202. And that's what really happened...
Copy !req
203. in Vietnam!
Copy !req
204. - I don't understand!
- Neither do I, kid. Neither do I.
Copy !req
205. Okay little boy, time to say goodbye to Santa.
Copy !req
206. What's an ambush?
Copy !req
207. It's a pretty bush with yellow flowers.
Copy !req
208. Kitty I gotta tell ya, I'm good with kids...
Copy !req
209. I really taught him something.
Y'know I think I'm beginning to feel the Christmas sprit.
Copy !req
210. Well I'm glad Red, but let's try telling a Christmas story
where nobody gets caught in a fire fight.
Copy !req
211. Bob what the hell are you doing?
Copy !req
212. You're depressing the kids,
I'm Santa now.
Copy !req
213. Get out of my chair Bob,
Copy !req
214. or you're gonna get a candy cane up your chimney.
Copy !req
215. I'm not moving.
Copy !req
216. Kitty hold my silly red hat.
Copy !req
217. You're right, I really am funny.
Copy !req
218. What do you think you're doing?
Eric you never showed up,
Copy !req
219. I was worried about you.
Copy !req
220. Well I'm sorry, I guess I lost track of time,
maybe it's because I am a God to these people.
Copy !req
221. Donna they like this shirt.
This is a horrible shirt.
Copy !req
222. I gave you that shirt.
Copy !req
223. I know, I love this shirt.
Copy !req
224. Eric, I can't believe you let yourself get a swelled head
just because a couple of high school kids think you're cool.
Copy !req
225. Excuse me, aren't you Hot Donna?
You were so awesome on the radio today.
Copy !req
226. You really think?
Copy !req
227. Wait, what's going on?
Copy !req
228. I think we're in for a treat.
Copy !req
229. I'll h-have have-a
Copy !req
230. blue christmas
Copy !req
231. Nice decorations.
Copy !req
232. I see you're using one of the better tasting glues.
Copy !req
233. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
234. Oh I just though instead of having
a fun Christmas Eve somewhere else,
Copy !req
235. I'd rather have a boring one here with you.
Copy !req
236. But we could have some fun.
Copy !req
237. Michael, I've told you before,
Copy !req
238. just because you come to the library after hours,
does not mean I'm gonna walk around topless.
Copy !req
239. But it's Christmas.
Copy !req
240. Oh here let me help you with the decorations.
Copy !req
241. Pregnant women should not be standing on their tip toes,
Copy !req
242. cause the baby will come out all cross eyed.
Copy !req
243. Listen, if you think you're gonna get me interested in you
by being cute and making me laugh
Copy !req
244. well it's probably gonna work.
Copy !req
245. But if you screw this up, I'm gonna ruin your credit
with thousands of dollars in library fines.
Copy !req
246. Fair enough. Well what say we seal this newfound
friendship with a round of topless ornament hanging?
Copy !req
247. Okay fine, whatever you wanna do...
Copy !req
248. topless!
Copy !req
249. This mall is only big enough for one Santa, Bob.
Copy !req
250. Tell ya what, you name 5 reindeer and I'll step down.
Copy !req
251. I can name 5 toes that are gonna be in your ass.
Copy !req
252. Oh for goodness sake, why don't we stop
calling it Christmas and call it Assmas?
Copy !req
253. Fine, I'll go.
Copy !req
254. I only got worked up because Joanne's gone,
Donna's working.
Copy !req
255. The only people I got at home are my two friends,
Egg and Nog.
Copy !req
256. Alright fine.
You wanna be Santa, go ahead.
Copy !req
257. - Thanks Red
Copy !req
258. Yeah it's all for the best,
I've already eaten about 2 pounds of fake beard as it is.
Copy !req
259. There he is.
Santa's the one that told me communists hate God.
Copy !req
260. Gotta go Santa.
Copy !req
261. Merry Christmas, Bob.
Copy !req
262. Mrs. Clause needs a drink.
Copy !req
263. And then I push a button,
and it sounds like bacon.
Copy !req
264. This is so awesome,
we're like a celebrity couple.
Copy !req
265. - It's intoxicating.
- Donna it is a heady brew.
Copy !req
266. Hey let's go drink beer in front of some sophomores.
Come on.
Copy !req
267. Jackie, in light of you showing up tonight with your boyfriend,
who by the way is totally cool, and a fox.
Copy !req
268. Big newsflash there.
Copy !req
269. I'd like to invite you to rejoin the cheer squad.
Copy !req
270. Really?
Copy !req
271. You know I don't think
I wanna be a cheerleader anymore.
Copy !req
272. But we hugged and jumped.
Copy !req
273. Well I'm gonna have to take back that hug
and jump with a pout and a shrug.
Copy !req
274. Are you telling me
I came to this hell hole for nothing?
Copy !req
275. No, not for nothing, Steven.
Copy !req
276. I realised these girls aren't my friends anymore.
Copy !req
277. I learned something about myself.
Copy !req
278. Oh, well isn't that ...
Copy !req
279. Okay, well if it makes you feel any better,
I get to keep the uniform.
Copy !req
280. Yeah that helps.
Copy !req
281. You set me up, 'sing a song they'll all love you',
well I'm gonna spend Christmas in a locker.
Copy !req
282. Oh crap, I'm still on the air!
Copy !req
283. Hmm.
Jigsaw puzzle.
Copy !req
284. Baseball glove.
Copy !req
285. Barbie doll tea set.
Copy !req
286. - Wow, you're good at this.
- Yeah, I've had a little practice.
Copy !req
287. Ant farm.
Copy !req
288. It's a Lone Ranger cap gun set.
Copy !req