1. h
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2. ht
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3. htt
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4. http
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5. /
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6. http://
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7. http://h
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8. http://hi
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9. http://hiq
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10. http://hiqv
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11. http://hiqve
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12. http://hiqve.
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13. http://hiqve.c
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14. http://hiqve.com/
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15. http://hiqve.com/
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16. And midnight.
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17. So long, 17. In the words of
Alice Cooper, I'm 18 and I like it.
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18. - Happy birthday, man.
- Let's give him his present.
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19. A case of 23 beers.
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20. - Kelso?
- I deserved one, I carried it.
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21. Yeah, that tastes like 18.
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22. Whoa, check out the new stereo.
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23. Oh, it plays records and eight-tracks? This
thing's, like, right out of the future.
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24. Yeah, Donna gave it to me.
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25. I think she feels bad that she's
going to college without me.
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26. So, on the one hand I'm losing
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27. the girl that I've been in
love with since I was five,
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28. but on the other hand,
I get a crappy stereo.
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29. Score!
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30. What? I mean, she's going
to dump you eventually.
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31. Rock-and-roll never dies.
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32. Kelso,
Donna and I are fine, okay?
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33. I mean, she's waiting until the very
last bus to go to school tomorrow
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34. so we can spend every minute
of my birthday together.
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35. We're just gonna make this work.
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36. Eric, long-distance
relationships don't work.
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37. Just ask my
girlfriend back home.
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38. Fez, you have
a girlfriend back home?
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39. No, don't you listen? Long-distance
relationships don't work.
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40. You guys, Donna and I are not gonna let
a couple of miles come between us, okay?
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41. This isn't the end of the world.
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42. My world is over, man.
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43. Forman, I know what you're
thinking. Donna's gonna go to school,
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44. meet a whole bunch of people
way cooler than you,
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45. and probably fall in love
with someone else.
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46. - And you don't think she will?
- Oh, I know she will.
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47. My advice to you is drink up.
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48. I can't believe she's
just leaving, you know?
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49. Hasn't she heard of a little
something called sacrifice?
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50. You know, she sacrifices an education,
or a career, or a future of any kind,
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51. and in exchange she gets me.
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52. I'd make that trade,
you're a dependable guy.
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53. You don't offer much
in the way of excitement,
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54. but if it's the same old same
old the girl's after, look out.
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55. I never deserved her, anyway.
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56. Well, we're here for you.
Here you go, dry your eyes.
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57. Thanks, you guys, I feel better.
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58. I think we all do.
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59. All right, buddy, come on.
Let's get you to bed.
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60. Big boy,
we're gonna tuck you in.
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61. All right, sleep tight, buddy.
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62. - Oh, good Lord.
- What, what?
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63. Happy birthday, dumb ass.
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64. Hello, Wisconsin!
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65. Okay, Red, remember,
don't tire yourself out today,
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66. because tonight is a
special night in the bedroom.
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67. Bob Newhart's on Carson?
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68. No, silly. It's been a month
since your heart attack.
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69. Tonight's the night
the doctor gave us the "okay."
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70. You know, the "okay."
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71. Kitty, I don't like clues,
just say it.
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72. - The okay to make love.
- Don't say that.
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73. Well, tonight is my
only night off this week.
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74. Let's not talk about
it in front of the boy.
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75. Or girl,
or whatever he is today.
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76. Let's not talk about what
in front of the boy?
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77. You guys are planning a surprise
party for me tonight, aren't you?
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78. Well, first of all, thank you.
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79. Second of all, let me just say, 18 years
old, not too old for ice-cream cake, okay.
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80. So, where's my
special birthday breakfast?
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81. Oh, my goodness,
I've been so busy this morning
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82. I forgot all
about your breakfast.
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83. Okay, I'll play along.
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84. Lah-dee-dah,
here I am, completely unaware
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85. that I'm about to get
my super birthday breakfast
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86. with four pieces of bacon.
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87. Honey, there is no breakfast.
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88. Mom, gag's over.
Give me the bacon.
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89. Are you sure you want bacon?
It's fattening.
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90. You barely fit into
your best dress as it is.
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91. Eric, honey,
let me make it up to you.
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92. How about tonight, instead of
hanging out around here, you just...
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93. You take the night off.
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94. Oh,
because there's "no party."
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95. I'm with you.
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96. Steven, I am so glad
we're back together.
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97. I thought I'd lost
my little Pudding Pop forever.
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98. Wanna hear something sick?
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99. I actually missed you
calling me Pudding Pop.
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100. How many times have I told you
guys not to make out on my bed?
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101. You guys are like cats,
you don't even listen. Down!
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102. Donna! Donna, you know what?
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103. You're leaving tonight, so
technically this isn't your bed anymore.
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104. And besides, I just can't keep
my hands off my Pudding Pop.
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105. - Pudding Pop?
- Pudding Pop?
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106. Is that supposed to be me?
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107. I've never heard that
name before in my life.
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108. Donna, you're amazing.
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109. Taking the midnight bus tonight
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110. just so you can spend my
whole birthday with me, that...
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111. I swear, that is right up there
with not wearing a bra in public.
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112. Boy, you're taking
this really well.
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113. Yeah, well, I know I have a
history of ruining these things.
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114. Birthdays, holidays,
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115. that perm that made you
look like a poodle.
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116. But I'm not gonna do that, okay?
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117. I'm not gonna ruin
our last day together.
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118. Oh,
so you're taking the toaster.
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119. What?
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120. It's just, you know,
we bought it together,
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121. so I guess I kind of thought
it was, like, our toaster.
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122. What do I know? It's not like
I'm the one going to college, right?
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123. You are, with my toaster.
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124. - Okay,
Eric, if it's a problem...
- Oh, it's a problem.
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125. You thought you could
just sneak it out of town
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126. without telling me 'cause you
knew it was wrong, didn't you, lady?
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127. Okay, Eric, I don't know what your deal is,
but you're ruining our last day together.
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128. I wouldn't be me
if I didn't ruin it!
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129. You know what? Enjoy
your toast, I hope it burns!
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130. Oh, man, Casablanca.
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131. This is the part where Humphrey
Bogart tells Ingrid Bergman
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132. they'll always have Paris.
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133. What's his problem?
The guy owns a bar, man.
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134. I'd be beating those
French sluts off with a stick.
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135. - How'd it go with Donna?
- I ruined it.
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136. And I knew I was ruining it
while I was ruining it.
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137. I just kept on ruining it.
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138. Now, Bogey. You know, that...
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139. That guy knows how to let a
woman go. "Here's looking at you, kid."
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140. I threw a toaster.
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141. Hey, if you wanna be like
Bogey, you gotta let her go.
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142. Only Bogey'll get
another hot girl.
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143. You, I see Star Wars
conventions and fat chicks.
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144. Hey, Bogey and I have
more in common than you think.
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145. Of all the teenage burger hangouts
in all the towns in all the world,
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146. she walks into mine, only
to walk right back out again.
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147. Play it, Fez.
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148. Well,
it'll cost you a Baby Ruth.
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149. Now I want a Baby Ruth.
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150. Hey, let's go to The Hub.
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151. - I can't.
- Let me see that.
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152. Forman, I think there's a rule
that when you turn 18
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153. you can't let Scooby
tell you the time anymore.
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154. Shows what you know, Hyde.
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155. That's Deputy Dawg.
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156. I can't wait until all of Donna's
giant clothes are out of the closet.
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157. I don't even go in there now.
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158. I'm afraid I'll fall into one of her
shoes and never be heard from again.
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159. Well, I guess I must
be Eric's best friend,
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160. because I'm the only one went to the
trouble of getting him a birthday cake.
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161. It's good, too.
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162. Maybe we should think about
getting him something else.
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163. What do you think, Pudding Pop?
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164. Why does everybody
keep calling me that?
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165. My name's not Pudding Pop, never
heard that name before in my life.
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166. Forman's dead.
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167. Hey, if you guys think that's funny,
you should hear what Steven calls me.
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168. He calls me his...
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169. Hey!
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170. Oh, hey, that's some good cake.
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171. So,
I heard Eric threw a toaster.
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172. It's almost as bad as the time
he called you a poodle head.
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173. Which he brought up again today.
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174. He's not good.
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175. Well, I'm just surprised
Eric was able to lift a toaster.
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176. Hey. Donna, I've been
looking all over for you.
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177. I'm so sorry I was
such a jerk earlier.
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178. It's your last day, and
it's my birthday, I just...
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179. I wanna spend it together.
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180. Eric, it's okay, I know you
don't care about the toaster.
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181. You're sad I'm
leaving and I'm sad, too.
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182. Hey, don't take him back.
He threw a toaster!
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183. Hey, shouldn't my surprise
party have started already?
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184. We keep telling you there's no
party, man. It's like you're deaf.
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185. Eric, there is no party.
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186. No, no, no! Why are you here?
You can't be here!
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187. Oh, right, I'll go outside,
then I'll come back,
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188. and you guys yell, "Surprise!"
and I'll yell, "You got me!"
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189. Eric, honey, there's no party.
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190. What?
How can there not be a party?
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191. Mom, what is more important
than your only son's 18th birthday?
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192. Okay, fine.
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193. For the first time since his heart attack,
your father and I are having intercourse.
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194. Sexy.
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195. Okay, let's get this over with.
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196. Happy birthday.
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197. I can't fricking believe that my
mom didn't plan a fricking party
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198. on my 18th fricking birthday.
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199. The only party going on in this house
is in their bedroom and that's all...
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200. Forman, you hate it when your
mom does stuff for your birthday.
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201. Remember two years ago?
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202. I'm 16.
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203. Hey, your mother worked
very hard on this party.
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204. Now, you be nice to her or
we're canceling the puppet show.
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205. Oh, oh, sit on the tiny horse,
so I can take a picture.
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206. I can't, Mom.
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207. I'll kill it.
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208. Yeah, okay, fine, but she should
have done something for me.
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209. Well, we're here for you. We
scraped together a few bucks
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210. and got you something
you can actually use.
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211. - What is it?
- It's a knob for
your new stereo.
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212. Wait, did you guys just take
this off while I wasn't looking?
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213. Eric, there's an old saying.
"Don't look a gift horse in the knob."
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214. And what happened to my
Led Zeppelin eight-track?
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215. You mean gift number two.
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216. Well, hello, handsome.
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217. Boy, am I tired.
I think I'll just go to bed.
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218. Red Forman,
what has gotten into you?
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219. I just think that there are
more appropriate ways
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220. for us to spend our time.
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221. Like you knit and I'll whittle.
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222. That's a nice life.
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223. Red, I know what this is about.
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224. You're afraid of getting physical
so soon after your heart attack.
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225. Kitty,
you know I love what we do
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226. but am I willing to die for it?
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227. Now, you just relax. Nurse
Kitty is here to take care of you.
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228. Well, the big paw's on the 11,
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229. so it's almost time to take
Donna to the bus station.
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230. I mean, this is it, you guys.
She's really going away.
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231. Forman, we have just the thing
to make you feel better.
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232. Another case of beer!
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233. Oh, I'm just not really in
the mood to put on a dress.
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234. But thanks anyway, Pudding Pop.
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235. Look, man, if you want her to
stay, can't you just ask her to stay?
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236. Man, you have no idea
how badly I wanna do that,
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237. but I just... I don't
think it'd be fair to her.
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238. Fair to her?
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239. Who cares what the woman
thinks? This is America.
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240. You know what?
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241. I already screwed this up once today,
I am not gonna screw this up again.
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242. I'm gonna fight every bad instinct I
have, and I'm just gonna let her go.
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243. Like Bogey did in Casablanca.
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244. Wait, so that's it? No one's gonna
drink beer and put on a dress?
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245. - Hey, Fez, you want a beer?
- Sure.
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246. Jackie!
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247. - What did you do to my room?
- Your room? Read the wall, Donna.
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248. Jackie, this is still my room
until I leave, so will you get out
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249. and give me and Eric
a few minutes alone?
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250. But I still have to paint
the heart over the "I".
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251. - Out, go. Out, shoo.
- Oh, God! All right, Donna!
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252. Okay, you're all packed.
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253. I can't believe
my baby's leaving.
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254. Well, hey,
I'll still be around, sir.
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255. Why would I wanna pal around
with you? All you did was dirty her up.
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256. You should probably get going.
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257. Happy birthday, Eric.
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258. Donna, this is the nicest thing
anyone's done for me all day.
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259. Make a wish.
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260. Oh, boy, do I smell cupcakes?
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261. So...
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262. I'm really gonna miss you.
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263. Yeah, me, too.
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264. Look, Donna,
I'm really happy for you.
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265. Well, bye, I guess.
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266. Donna, wait!
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267. - Donna, you have to stay.
- Stay? You're
supposed to tell me to go.
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268. No, if you leave
you'll regret it.
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269. Maybe not today, maybe not
tomorrow, but in a couple of weeks or...
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270. You know, at least by Christmas.
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271. Oh, my God, you're such a loser.
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272. - Donna.
- Here's looking at you, dork.
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273. What did you wanna tell me?
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274. Have a safe trip.
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275. Thanks.
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276. Donna, what...
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277. I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it.
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278. This whole time I was thinking
I was supposed to leave,
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279. and then when the time came
to get on the bus, I couldn't do it.
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280. I'll figure college out later, all I
know is I wanna stay here with you.
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281. Oh, my God. Donna,
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282. that's what I wished for.
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283. Donna, we didn't get a chance
to say goodbye.
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284. You guys get him drunk
and make him wear a dress?
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285. Yes, but I've been wanting
to do this for some time.
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286. Too tired.
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287. Yeah, it was pretty silly.
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288. Knit and whittle.
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289. Yeah, I hate to whittle.
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290. Where's the aspirin?
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291. Oh, like you've never woken up
in a dress before.
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292. http://hiqve.com/
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