1. Yeah, nice.
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2. So yesterday I'm at this garage
sale, I look down, and there it was.
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3. The Darth Vader action figure with
the incredibly rare green light saber.
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4. How have I not
kicked your ass yet?
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5. - Fore!
- Whoa!
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6. - Watch out!
- Parking lot!
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7. It was just a Pinto.
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8. Fez, this is Putt-Putt.
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9. Your choices are putt or putt.
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10. Hey, what the hell?
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11. Oh, Forman. Yeah, I should've
known it was you guys.
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12. Most people that come here
can't hit the ball that hard
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13. on account of
they're in kindergarten.
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14. Mitch, congratulations.
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15. This seems like the perfect
job for someone your size,
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16. what with the free lodging
and the little castle on hole six.
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17. Yeah, there's just enough room
in there for me and your mom.
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18. Yeah, the sweetest burns
involve doing it with your mom.
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19. Look, just quit hitting the ball that
hard or you guys are out of here.
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20. What are you... No.
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21. God, I hate that guy.
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22. Tear him a new hole-in-one.
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23. Wow, Forman,
I haven't seen you this pissed
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24. since I chased you around your
house with that spider in a jar.
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25. You were like,
"Hyde, I swear to God!"
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26. Then you never did anything.
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27. Yeah?
I'm about to do something.
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28. Hello, Wisconsin!
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29. No, I don't know how to do that.
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30. Mitch, I'm so sorry.
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31. What?
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32. I've lost the ability to process language
on account of I have a concussion.
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33. There's more bad news.
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34. When you return to the course,
you're gonna find that some punk
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35. drew boobs and a butt crack
on the clown statue.
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36. And don't try to wash it off
'cause I used permanent marker.
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37. Forman,
why are we always fighting?
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38. I can't even remember
how we got this way.
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39. I think a chick
said that to me once.
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40. No, that was me.
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41. Don't you think that
we should be friends?
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42. Okay, well, you...
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43. You're obviously having some
kind of reaction to your medications.
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44. We're just gonna go.
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45. You know, Mitch, if you ever want to
come hang out in the basement, you know...
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46. Really? Thanks.
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47. I'd smile, but the left side of
my face is kind of paralyzed.
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48. Forman,
why'd you invite him over?
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49. You were almost out of there
and you turned back around.
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50. Look, yeah, Forman,
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51. there's only two times in life
that you turn back around,
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52. basketball and runway modeling.
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53. No, and square dancing.
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54. It's called a do-si-do.
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55. Look,
Mitch knows I didn't mean it.
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56. Hey, Eric.
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57. Mitch.
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58. I can't believe you got a hold of the
Darth Vader with the green light saber.
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59. What? No, no, it's...
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60. What a geek.
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61. Wow, I love this place.
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62. It's not just dinner.
It's a thrill ride,
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63. 'cause there's a small chance
you're getting knifed.
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64. I don't know, Bob.
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65. I've tried to avoid Asians with weapons
ever since 7,000 of them tried to kill me.
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66. Well...
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67. It's thanks to the work
of brave men like you
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68. that America's enemies are
working here for a minimum wage.
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69. Oh!
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70. Mom, would you please stop
playing with his hair?
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71. You don't know where it's been.
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72. I think a good dinnertime policy might be
everybody feeds and grooms themselves.
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73. Oh, oh! And speaking
of grooming, Pamela,
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74. I noticed that your skirt was
torn all the way up to your thigh.
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75. No, I actually
bought it this way.
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76. See, most skirts
are only slit up to the knee,
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77. but I think people want
to see more than that.
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78. Hear, hear!
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79. Here comes the waiter.
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80. I'm glad you're all here to help
me celebrate this very special time
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81. with this very special lady.
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82. Oh, Bob, it means a lot to me
that you realize how special I am.
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83. I do. That's why I want to
ask you to move in with me.
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84. - Oh, my God.
- What?
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85. Gosh, Bob, that's really sweet
and I'd really love to,
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86. but I'm seeing someone else.
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87. Sorry.
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88. But you'll still
come visit, right?
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89. What are you doing?
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90. I'm not touching you.
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91. Well, stop it.
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92. But I'm not touching you.
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93. Well, stop not touching me.
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94. Okay.
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95. Wasn't it better
when I wasn't touching you?
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96. Yeah.
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97. They look happy.
Why don't we have a game?
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98. Would you stop asking me
why don't we have stuff?
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99. "Why don't we have a song?"
"Why don't we have a movie?"
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100. We're men.
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101. I thought we were sensitive men.
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102. We're not.
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103. One of us is.
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104. Shut up!
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105. And it's not you.
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106. Well, Mitch, I'll tell you what.
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107. It's been really fun having you
over, but it's almost sundown,
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108. and we celebrate the Sabbath,
so unless you have your...
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109. Your... Your little beanie,
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110. then I guess we're gonna have
to say adios or shalom, as we say.
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111. You guys are Jewish?
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112. I'm Jewish!
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113. Wow, you are gorgeous.
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114. Are you kidding me? No, no,
no, no, I'm the pretty one. Me.
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115. You're the hottest
redhead since Batgirl.
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116. And you're not just gorgeous.
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117. I mean, you radiate intelligence
and deep thought, a real sense of self.
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118. Eric, I like your new friend.
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119. She's gotta be with you, huh?
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120. I can't say I haven't tried,
my little friend,
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121. but she's with Eric for now.
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122. Really?
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123. Well, what's wrong with her? Is
she, like, an alcoholic or a drug addict?
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124. Yeah. Yeah, she's addicted.
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125. She needs a daily
dose of this guy.
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126. I just think it's pretty suspicious that
after we left the Japanese restaurant
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127. our Japanese car broke down.
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128. Hey, buddy.
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129. Whoa, Eric, you didn't tell me
you had an older sister.
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130. Please, if you're gonna go with fake charm,
let's keep it in the realm of reality, okay?
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131. You shut your porky mouth.
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132. I have the skin of a 25-year-old
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133. who smokes.
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134. You know, Mr. Forman, I learned
a little about cars from my uncle
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135. who used to fix
tanks in Vietnam.
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136. Now that's hero's work,
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137. fixing machines that kill
people you don't agree with.
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138. My only regret is that I haven't
had a chance to fight for my country.
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139. Really?
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140. Eric's only regret is
that he doesn't live in space.
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141. That's not my only regret.
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142. It's just one of them.
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143. Excellent Fruity Pebbles.
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144. You know, at the police academy
they'll only give me corn flakes,
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145. 'cause they say the sugar gets
me too hopped up to carry a weapon.
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146. I guess what they
weren't counting on
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147. was me taking my weapon home
for the weekend.
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148. My poor dad.
You know, he's so upset.
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149. This morning during
The Price is Right
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150. he didn't even yodel along
during "Cliffhanger."
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151. Donna, we wanted them apart,
and now they are.
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152. Look, some things
just don't belong together,
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153. like my mom and your dad,
or Michael and a gun.
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154. No, seriously,
how could they give me a gun?
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155. You don't even
sound like you feel bad.
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156. Donna, this whole
thing is your dad's fault.
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157. Come on, Donna.
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158. Who asked the woman
to move in with him
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159. after knowing her
for such a short time?
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160. I'll tell you who.
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161. The same guy who let you move
in here after your parents took off
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162. and you had no place
else to go. My dad.
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163. I mean, you know your mom is
wrong and that she hurt my dad,
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164. who's never been anything
but nice to you.
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165. How can you defend her?
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166. I pick the pretty one.
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167. Hey, Dad. How you doing?
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168. How do you think I'm doing?
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169. Pam ripped out my heart and
stomped on it in shoes I paid for.
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170. Well, do you want to go down to
the pet store and look at puppies?
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171. You could sing How Much
Is that Doggie in the Window?
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172. And I'll do the "Arf!
Arf!" part.
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173. Nah, I'm gonna watch Love Boat.
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174. I think the big guy in the shorts is finally
gonna nail the girl with the clipboard.
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175. Yeah!
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176. I'm sorry. That's the sugar.
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177. Okay, Kelso, truth or dare?
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178. Truth.
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179. Have you ever snuck into
my bathroom while I was showering?
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180. I mean, dare.
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181. You have snuck in there.
I was there and I saw you.
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182. I mean, dare.
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183. Okay, Steven, truth or dare?
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184. The truth will be whether
or not you love me,
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185. and the dare will be
telling me that you love me.
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186. Okay.
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187. Pass.
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188. Okay, Mitch, truth or dare?
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189. I pick dare, Mitch.
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190. Okay, Mitch,
I dare you to kiss Donna.
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191. Mitch, naughty Mitch.
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192. Mitch, you goofball,
that's not how it works.
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193. You have to be like,
"I dare you to kiss me."
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194. Okay.
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195. What the hell!
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196. He did it!
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197. Look at him go.
He's like a hummingbird.
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198. I can't believe
Mitch would do that.
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199. He just flew at you like one of the
little monkeys from The Wizard of Oz.
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200. I was scared.
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201. Much like you are when
you watch The Wizard of Oz.
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202. Okay, look, I don't want Mitch
hanging out here anymore.
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203. He was just fooling around.
He didn't mean anything by it.
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204. It's like Fez. He's all over me all the
time, but it doesn't mean he's after me.
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205. Yes, it does.
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206. From now on,
I'll try to be clearer.
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207. Mom, there you are.
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208. How could you do that to Bob?
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209. - Now, honey, Bob will be fine.
- No, he won't.
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210. Mom, Bob is a wonderful guy
with a huge heart
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211. who only worries about what
he could do for other people.
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212. And, yeah,
okay, maybe he has an afro.
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213. But sometimes goodness
and afros go together.
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214. But, Jackie, the other guy that
I'm seeing is a Lincoln dealer.
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215. Oh, my God, Mom, really?
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216. Mom, we could be driving
in matching pink...
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217. No, no. Mom, no. No.
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218. Okay, look, I know...
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219. I know that Bob might not be
the smoothest or the classiest guy
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220. you've ever dated, but I've learned
that doesn't mean he's a bad person.
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221. Ugh, I knew I shouldn't
have sent you to public school.
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222. Mom, if you keep thinking this
way, you'll always be running
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223. from one place to another
looking for something better
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224. instead of just being happy
with what you have.
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225. You know what? I guess
you have a lot of thinking to do.
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226. You're right.
Mas tequila, Hirohito.
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227. I said, "Thinking."
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228. Hello? Is anyone here?
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229. Hyde?
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230. Well, I guess it's time for me and 24
of my collectible action figure friends.
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231. It was a dark
time for the Force.
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232. After the Formanian wars,
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233. young Luke Skywalker had to
face his most formidable enemy yet.
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234. Darth Vader with the rare
and deadlier green light saber.
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235. What? No.
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236. Mitch!
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237. Mitch,
these omelets are amazing.
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238. Well, you know, an omelet's only
as beautiful as the person who eats it,
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239. so, I'd have to say that this omelet
has the prettiest red hair I've ever seen.
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240. Thief! He's a thief.
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241. You stole my
Vader action figure.
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242. You, too?
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243. I thought Eric was the only one
weird enough to play with a doll.
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244. Action figure.
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245. You know, it's bad enough you stole
a kiss from my girlfriend, but this...
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246. This has gone too far.
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247. So my honor
is less important than a doll?
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248. Action figure!
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249. Now give it back.
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250. Hold on just a second.
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251. Now,
Mitch, did you or did you not
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252. put onions in my omelet?
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253. 'Cause I asked for them, but I
didn't see you put them in there.
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254. Eric, I didn't take
your action figure.
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255. - Doll.
- Action figure!
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256. I wouldn't do that,
especially not to a friend.
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257. What? We're not friends, man.
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258. We never were. I only invited you
over here 'cause I felt bad for you,
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259. but I don't like you. And guess
what? Neither does anyone else.
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260. Fine.
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261. I won't bother you guys anymore.
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262. And somebody needs to flip
that in about three minutes!
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263. Well, that was brutal.
I feel bad for the little guy.
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264. I just wanna put him up on my
shoulders and buy him a balloon.
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265. Eric, how could you?
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266. Mitch had a lot
of good qualities,
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267. like, for example,
he worshiped me.
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268. I mean, at one point, I thought he was
gonna light a fire and dance around me.
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269. Yeah, well, you know what? I
was right, okay? He's a thief.
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270. Eric, were you playing in
the bathtub with your little doll?
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271. Action figure!
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272. Oh, no.
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273. In the tub, Forman?
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274. It is getting really
hard to be your friend.
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275. Okay, I'd like to thank everyone
for coming back here with me.
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276. True, it is the place
of my greatest humiliation.
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277. But the fish is good,
the sake's strong,
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278. and these Japanese people
are funny to watch.
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279. That's the spirit, Dad.
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280. The slightly offensive spirit.
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281. Well, you know, I think you're lucky
to be rid of Pam with her halter tops
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282. and her tight skirts.
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283. You know, I've never even
seen a panty line on her.
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284. You know what that means.
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285. Plus, you're too
nice for my mom anyway.
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286. You know,
someday you're gonna make
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287. a slightly less-attractive
woman very happy.
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288. Hello, Bob.
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289. No, it's not a beautiful
dream, it's really me.
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290. I've been doing
some thinking, Bob,
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291. and I realized that my
priorities are a little mixed up.
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292. I told her that. That was me.
I saved the day!
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293. It doesn't matter
how it happened.
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294. The important thing
is she's back in our lives.
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295. Anyway, Bob, I realized
that you're the man for me.
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296. I'm sorry, Pam. It's too late.
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297. I'm completely over you.
O-V-E-R. Over.
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298. - And I want to
move in with you.
- Here's your key.
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299. Dad? Are you sure
this is a good idea?
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300. She makes me happy, kitten.
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301. Fine.
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302. But I don't want to see, like, any of
her panties laying around the house.
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303. Don't worry. You won't.
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304. Hey, Mitch.
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305. Look, I wanted to apologize.
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306. I thought you stole my Vader,
but it turns out I left it in the...
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307. Hyde stole it.
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308. Yeah, I guess I
was out of line, too.
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309. I shouldn't have
jumped on your girlfriend
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310. in front of you.
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311. It's just,
you have such a great life.
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312. And if I never see you
or your friends ever again,
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313. I'm always gonna treasure
that time that I spent with Donna.
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314. Okay, well,
then I'll just say goodbye.
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315. So lonely.
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316. Hey, Mitch,
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317. you know, if you ever want to
hang out, you know, you're always...
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318. - You know...
- Great. Thanks.
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319. - Are we gonna do this now?
- Yeah, buddy, let's do it!
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320. - Okay.
- All right.
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321. Hey, so do you think I might
have a shot with Donna?
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322. - Mitch, she's my fiancee.
- So that's a maybe.
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323. Oh, Pamela, hi.
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324. I just came here
to get my scarf.
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325. Oh! Here it is.
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326. You thought you lost your scarf.
That must have made you nervous.
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327. - Would you like a drink?
- Well,
it's a little early, but...
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328. It's probably 5:00 somewhere.
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329. Two Saigon Slammers,
hold the fruit.
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330. First round's on me.
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331. That's okay. I have a tab.
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332. http://hiqve.com/
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