1. So, guys, guess what?
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2. I found the perfect place for
me and Eric to get married.
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3. "Where, Donna?
Please tell us."
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4. Okay. Well, that place up
by the lake
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5. that overlooks the entire valley
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6. where people go for romance.
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7. Wait, Mount Hump?
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8. People don't go there
for the romance, Donna.
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9. They go there for the humping.
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10. Eric, let's go out there
tomorrow and check it out.
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11. I know the Cruiser's in the shop,
but we can take my dad's car.
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12. Donna, he's got that "Honk if
you're horny" bumper sticker.
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13. Yeah, well, I'd scrape it off,
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14. but "I brake for boobies"
is underneath it.
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15. Why are you guys
all in Steven's room?
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16. Well, Hyde was here,
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17. so I came in because
I'm not comfortable enough
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18. with myself to be alone.
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19. Yeah, but it's all gray
like a prison cell.
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20. Gray is why prisoners
are unhappy.
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21. Really? I always thought
it was the loss of freedom
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22. and the uninvited man-love.
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23. Steven, I just think
that you would be happier
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24. if you saw pretty things.
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25. Like, when I look
at myself in the mirror,
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26. I'm happy.
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27. When I look at you,
I'm happy, too.
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28. But when you talk... Eh...
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29. Hey, Eric, I have to ask you
a very important question.
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30. Can I borrow your G.I. Joe
for a little experiment?
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31. - No.
- I thought you were
going to say yes.
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32. And, by the way,
the experiment was a success.
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33. G.I. Joe melts faster
than cheese.
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34. Kelso, you can't just take my
things without asking permission.
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35. Come on, we're friends.
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36. I figured, what's mine is
yours and what's yours is mine.
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37. What's Donna's is mine, too.
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38. Kelso!
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39. Yeah, Barbie didn't
make it either.
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40. No one likes to see
civilian casualties.
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41. That's weird.
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42. My finger's due back tomorrow,
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43. but my hand's
due back next week.
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44. You know, Michael, I was a little
worried about starting to date you,
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45. but lately you've really
impressed me.
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46. Well, that's the police motto,
"To Serve and Impress."
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47. I thought it was
"Serve and Protect."
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48. Yeah, they just changed it.
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49. Maybe you could take me to my
doctor's appointment tomorrow.
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50. We'll hear the baby's heartbeat.
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51. Seriously?
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52. - You want me to do
baby stuff with you?
- Yeah.
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53. You've been really great
these last few weeks.
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54. Yes, I have.
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55. And there's no telling
what you'll do next.
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56. One day, you might even
read one of these things.
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57. Yeah, let's just pray to God
that day never comes.
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58. Hello, Wisconsin!
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59. Stupid Kelso.
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60. Guess what I packed?
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61. I'm gonna
have to go with picnic.
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62. You win.
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63. So when do I get my car back?
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64. Well, I don't know.
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65. We're scouting places
to have the wedding.
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66. You don't need to scout anywhere
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67. but the inside of a church.
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68. What better place
to start a happy life
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69. than Our Lady
of Perpetual Sorrow?
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70. Well, Dad, the thing is
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71. we're not getting married
in a church.
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72. But we are thinking
about getting married
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73. at Mount Hump,
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74. which is sort of the church
of humping.
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75. Well, no church, no car,
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76. just like it says in the Bible.
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77. Well, the Bible
doesn't say anything
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78. about taking Kelso's van.
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79. All right, Donna,
we can't just take it.
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80. Of course we can.
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81. What's his is yours, remember?
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82. Do it for the liquefied face
of G.I. Joe.
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83. I can't think
of a more fitting way
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84. to honor the real American hero.
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85. You're welcome, big guy.
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86. - What's this for?
- No reason.
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87. I was just thinking about you
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88. and how we've been through
a lot together.
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89. No, we haven't.
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90. Oh, he gave you shoes.
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91. What do you say, Red?
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92. What the hell is wrong with you?
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93. Or we say,
"Thank you very much."
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94. Well.
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95. Don't you think
it's a little odd for a man
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96. to give another man
a pair of shoes?
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97. I saw them. I thought they'd
go nice with your tan pants.
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98. Quit thinking about my pants.
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99. My legs and what covers them
is my business.
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100. He's very sensitive
about his legs.
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101. You know, he shouldn't be.
They're shapely like a lady dancer.
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102. Maybe that's why
he's so sensitive.
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103. Oh, finally. I've been waiting
all afternoon. I'm about to burst.
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104. Hey, man. I'm thinking maybe
you should wait out here.
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105. No. No, no, no.
Fez, you should see this.
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106. It's a dream come true.
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107. Surprise!
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108. Jackie, what the hell happened
to my room?
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109. I redecorated it.
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110. Now, if a stranger
comes in here,
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111. he'd never know you were poor.
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112. Looks like something for a girl.
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113. - I like it.
- Or Fez!
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114. I can't live like this. I'm
getting sick just looking at it.
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115. Yes. Yes, Steven.
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116. That sick feeling is your
orphan soul coming alive.
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117. Jackie, just put it
all back, okay?
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118. Make it ugly and dirty
like I like it.
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119. Well, excuse me,
for spending all morning
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120. putting up twinkle lights
that are breathtaking,
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121. pillows as soft as marshmallows,
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122. and sexy candles
that make you feel
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123. like you're running through a
field like Laura freaking Ingalls!
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124. Okay, okay.
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125. We came here for a reason.
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126. Now, should I start
and you watch
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127. or should you start and I watch?
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128. Either way, I'll be done first.
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129. So I told Hyde he could
watch while Jackie and I do it,
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130. and then he beat my ass
with a twinkle light.
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131. Where's my van?
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132. No, I parked it right here.
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133. Calm down, you probably
just lost it again.
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134. - Where was
the last place you had it?
- Right here!
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135. - Somebody stole my van!
- That's horrible!
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136. I left a brand-new bag
of Tootsie Rolls in there.
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137. - Fez!
- Okay, okay. It was just half a bag.
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138. But if you talk
to the insurance company,
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139. just tell them
it was a whole bag.
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140. I finally got Brooke
to trust me,
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141. and if I don't take her to this
doctor's appointment, I'm dead.
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142. - What am I gonna do?
- Don't beat yourself up.
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143. It's only Tootsie Rolls.
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144. You know,
I'm gonna take Red's car.
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145. I know he's got to hide a key
in there somewhere.
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146. Are you brain-damaged?
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147. Fez, did you just say,
"Are you brain-damaged?"
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148. and sound exactly like Red?
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149. Kelso, you know I only do
Johnny Carson and Pepe Le Pew.
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150. Get away from my car.
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151. Your car, my car.
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152. Aren't we all just
driving the same car?
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153. It's a car called "life."
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154. How about I drive my foot
into this thing called "your ass"?
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155. A simple "no" would suffice.
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156. Shoes are an inappropriate
gift to give another man.
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157. Well, what about
when you joined the service?
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158. Another man issued you
your boots.
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159. But then he gave me
a gun, so I let it go.
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160. Well, why don't you just
accept the shoes
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161. because Bob is your friend?
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162. You don't understand
how men work.
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163. We don't give
each other presents.
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164. We pretty much ignore each other
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165. until someone
scores a touchdown.
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166. You should listen to me.
I know how to be a friend,
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167. and you obviously don't,
since you don't have any.
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168. I have plenty of friends.
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169. Charlie's a friend. He
saved my life during the war.
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170. And when is the last time
you talked to Charlie?
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171. We said all we needed to say
on the boat back home.
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172. I don't believe this.
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173. This is crazy.
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174. Not bad!
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175. Nice.
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176. So soft.
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177. So smooth.
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178. Oh, yeah!
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179. Isn't this amazing?
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180. Is it called Mount Hump because
people come here to hump?
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181. Or do people come here to hump
because it's called Mount Hump?
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182. Like the chicken or the egg.
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183. Well, I have a really good
feeling about this place.
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184. Donna, there are panties
in the grass.
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185. Well, Fez collects panties.
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186. So we could just set him loose
up here before the ceremony.
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187. It's so quiet and peaceful.
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188. Can't hear anything.
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189. Actually, I hear a car.
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190. Oh, man! Some poor sucker
just totally got into an accident.
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191. Your chariot
has arrived, my lady.
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192. What happened to your van?
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193. Yeah, a little problem
with the van.
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194. I can't find it.
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195. Michael, people lose keys
to a van, not the whole van.
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196. Now I'm going to miss
my doctor's appointment.
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197. Look, Brooke,
this is not my fault.
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198. You're right, it's my fault
for depending on you.
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199. Okay, okay.
I can fix this, okay?
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200. Just hop on the handle bars
and I'll pedal you there.
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201. Hello! I'm pregnant.
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202. Okay, fine.
You pedal and I'll ride.
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203. Oh, look.
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204. Here you are
with all your friends.
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205. - Kitty.
- No, no, no.
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206. You claim to have
all these friends.
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207. Here are last year's
Christmas cards.
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208. Fifty-six are for me,
four for you.
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209. Kitty, the card from the Jose
Cuervo collector's club doesn't count.
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210. Fine, I can afford to throw this
one away because I have 55 more,
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211. but I will keep this
because it has a coupon in it.
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212. Anyway, it doesn't matter
because I'm keeping the shoes.
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213. A good shoe is a good shoe,
no matter where it comes from.
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214. Oh, it's like I'm walking
on a pile of baby ducks.
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215. Well, hello there,
Senor Fancy Sheets.
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216. I love the way
Jackie decorated your room.
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217. It's all glittery
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218. like an Italian person
lives there.
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219. You let your girlfriend
decorate your room?
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220. She also buy you a new dress?
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221. Yeah, I guess I have
a lot to answer for.
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222. Then again, I never accepted a
pair of shoes from another man.
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223. I knew it was a weird gift.
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224. Kitty said it wasn't.
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225. They're nice.
Steven, tell him they're nice.
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226. No, I can't do it.
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227. Although, you know what?
Maybe she's right.
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228. Maybe you should keep the shoes
and get Bob a present in return.
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229. Like a necklace.
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230. Or some sexy lingerie.
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231. Man, poor Kelso's van.
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232. I mean, when it finally
landed, it didn't so much crash
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233. as completely separate
into its basic elements
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234. and just return to nature.
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235. It was so sad.
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236. There were
Tootsie Rolls everywhere.
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237. Guys, took a nap in my room.
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238. My goose-down duvet
is like a cocoon.
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239. I lay down a caterpillar
and woke up a butterfly.
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240. Maybe you with your room
and Red with his shoes
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241. should get a room and decorate
it with Red's shoes. Burn!
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242. Man, you just don't understand
what it's like to have a bed
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243. that hugs you like
you're a little baby.
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244. It's like crawling
into a mommy kangaroo.
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245. I miss my kangaroo.
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246. Remember when I said that he should
decorate his room with Red's shoes?
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247. Burn!
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248. Hyde's in trouble.
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249. She took it all down.
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250. Did you just scream like a girl?
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251. No.
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252. What happened to my
lavender-scented candle?
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253. Did you just say "What happened
to my lavender-scented candle?"
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254. No.
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255. Oh, okay.
So I made appointments
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256. with all the doctors
in your address book
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257. because I didn't know which
one was the "'woo-woo" doctor.
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258. You know what?
Stay out of my stuff.
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259. I'll take care of things myself
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260. 'cause you obviously
aren't responsible enough
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261. to handle it.
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262. Oh, Kelso, you're here. Um...
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263. Hey, can I borrow your van
for a little experiment?
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264. No.
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265. Oh, I thought you were
gonna say yes.
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266. Oh, my God.
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267. - Is that my steering wheel?
- It's the biggest piece
I could find.
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268. Listen, Kelso,
I am so sorry. I...
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269. I took the van to Mount Hump,
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270. and I forgot to set
the parking brake
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271. and I'm just really sorry.
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272. The horn doesn't honk any more.
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273. Look, you know,
at first it seemed okay
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274. because you melted
my G.I. Joe,
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275. but I mean it's not as bad
as destroying a van.
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276. So I don't... I don't
know why I just said that.
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277. - I don't know what to say.
- Well, I do.
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278. You know, I called Michael
irresponsible, but he's not.
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279. You are. You're an
irresponsible, twitchy little man.
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280. Okay, please. Just don't
bump me with that thing.
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281. Okay, wait.
If he's irresponsible,
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282. that means I'm the good one.
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283. I'm the good one now!
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284. Yeah, he's obviously
the dumb one of your group.
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285. Yeah, he really is.
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286. Red Forman, don't you dare
throw those shoes away.
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287. I just can't keep them, Kitty.
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288. Every time I wear them, I'll
feel Bob touching my feet.
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289. Are you throwing away my shoes?
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290. No, no. No, no. He's not
throwing away your shoes.
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291. He is getting rid of
that pesky new shoe smell
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292. by rubbing old food on them.
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293. I'm throwing them away, Bob.
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294. Look, I appreciate the thought.
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295. No, well, that's not true.
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296. I mean, shoes are a weird
gift to give another man.
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297. I mean, what's next?
A weekend in Cancun?
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298. Okay, fine. I bought the shoes
for myself, but they pinch my toes,
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299. so I decided to pawn
them off on you as a gift.
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300. You were just trying
to screw me over?
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301. Well, I can respect that.
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302. Thanks for the shoes, Bob.
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303. See, I have a friend.
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304. No, no. This is not
the way friends act.
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305. He was gonna throw away
your present, Bob.
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306. Come on, Kitty.
I gave him shoes.
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307. That's weird.
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308. I'm surprised you didn't
punch me in the face right then.
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309. I almost did.
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310. Jackie, what the hell? Why
did you take everything down?
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311. You said,
"Take everything down."
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312. - Well, you didn't have to.
- You said, "You have to."
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313. - I didn't mean it.
- You said, "I mean it."
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314. - Look, just put it all back.
- Not until you admit
you loved it.
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315. Jackie, who cares
who's right or wrong here?
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316. Isn't the important thing
that you make me happy?
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317. Who are you talking to?
Do you even know me?
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318. Fine, I loved it.
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319. And?
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320. The twinkle lights
were breathtaking.
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321. And?
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322. The scented candles made
me feel like Laura Ingalls.
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323. All right, that's it.
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324. We need to find another
place to get married.
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325. I just wrote out, "You are
cordially invited to Mount Hump."
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326. And I died a little inside.
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327. Well, then, I guess
we should also rule out
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328. the scenic banks
of Nipple Creek.
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329. Where is Michael?
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330. You know, whenever he tells
me he has a surprise for me,
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331. it makes me a little nervous.
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332. Oh, it's probably just because
the last time he said that to you,
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333. you got pregnant.
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334. So what do you think?
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335. I think Barbie's
probably worried sick
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336. that her convertible's missing.
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337. I thought you were
getting another van.
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338. Oh, so did I, but then I saw this
baby down at the police auction
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339. and I knew it was
destined to be mine.
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340. Well, hey, man. Can I
give you some money?
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341. No, it was pretty cheap.
Some guy got stabbed in it.
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342. So nobody else bid on it.
It's pretty sweet, huh?
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343. It's freaking awesome!
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344. Is it the car or are you
more handsome?
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345. It's the car.
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346. And I'm more handsome.
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347. Michael, don't you think
it's a little impractical?
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348. Impractical?
More like, imperfecticable.
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349. I mean, this thing
is totally baby-friendly.
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350. Remind me again
how it's baby-friendly?
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351. 'Cause it's tiny
just like a baby.
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352. Barbie, you are gross,
but I still love you.
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353. Really?
Even though my face has melted off?
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354. Yes.
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355. But your perfect plastic boobs
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356. remain untouched jewels.
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357. Oh! Can my
twin sister watch?
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358. Why just watch? There's
plenty of Joe to go around.
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359. I didn't see you.
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360. http://hiqve.com/
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