1. You know, Eric, I'm really happy
with our relationship right now.
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2. Yeah, me too. It's like we're way past
the "broken up and miserable" stage...
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3. and we're back in the
"having sex again" stage, so-
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4. Yeah. Thumbs up
from this end too. Yeah.
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5. I'm serious.
I mean, we've been through a lot...
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6. and even though some of it
wasn't exactly fun-
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7. I mean, it was worth it, because now
we know that we can handle anything.
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8. And we don't freak out
about the little stuff.
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9. Right.
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10. Like that time we got in that big fight
because I ran over your cat.
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11. - That wasn't little stuff. I really loved that cat.
- Yeah. No.
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12. Yeah. No, I know.
I- I mean, uh, the cat was little.
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13. Anyway, when you came to California,
I knew you were the one.
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14. So I got you a gift to symbolize
how far we've come.
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15. Is it, like, one of those gifts
that women get for men...
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16. but they actually wear themselves?
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17. Here.
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18. - ( Exhales )
- It's a ring.
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19. Yeah.
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20. And I'm a man.
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21. Yeah.
It's a man-ring.
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22. A man-ring.
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23. Yea!
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24. Morning.
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25. What the hell's that thing
on your finger?
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26. This is my new man-ring.
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27. Donna got it for me,
so I'll feel right at home...
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28. when the gypsies come to town.
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29. Well, take it off. You look like
some kind of fruity magician.
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30. Well, I think it's sweet.
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31. I can enjoy these things now...
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32. because I am not gonna let
menopause get me down.
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33. Mm-mmm. No depression, night sweats,
or sudden mood swings for me.
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34. Well, I guess that's
starting today, huh?
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35. 'Cause last night,
you hit the trifecta there.
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36. Well, I just refuse to be sad...
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37. about the fact that I'm never
gonna have another baby.
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38. I don't need another baby.
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39. I got a lot to look forward to.
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40. Like picking out my casket.
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41. - Oh, Kitty.
- I-
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42. - It's okay.
- ( Sobbing )
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43. You've still got Eric.
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44. He's sort of a baby.
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45. I'll make him cry if you want.
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46. - Man, that is one big-ass ring!
- ( Stereo: Rock )
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47. Hey, maybe people'll think
you won the Super Bowl.
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48. Nah.
Nobody'd believe that.
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49. But he could be the sick little kid
the whole team rallies around.
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50. Well, guys.
Wish me luck. Today...
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51. I have a job interview at
the Department of Motor Vehicles.
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52. All right.
Good luck, man.
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53. Oh, Eric.
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54. What a glorious man-ring.
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55. See, I told you to accessorize...
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56. and you finally listened, huh?
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57. - Man, you like it?
- Yeah. What's not to like?
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58. It's hypnotic.
It looks like he has superpowers.
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59. Man, I'd like to see the lame-o superhero
that had to wear that ring.
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60. Okay, super pals...
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61. I need a danger alert status report.
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62. My sensors indicate...
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63. peace and quiet
throughout the universe.
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64. I think the oceans are secure, but I cannot
check for another 45 minutes.
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65. Because... I just ate.
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66. - Hi, guys.
- No.
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67. You've been brainwashed and forced
to wear this hideously ugly ring!
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68. Actually, it's a gift.
From me.
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69. Form of- the worst gift ever.
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70. Shape of-
uh, hope you kept the receipt.
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71. - ( Beeping )
- Oh, no! Alien zombies are attacking the Earth.
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72. - Let's swing into action, gang.
- Hang on a second!
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73. We're still on this ring.
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74. Are you sure it's not
an evil alien artifact?
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75. I got it at the mall.
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76. Greetings, super dumb-asses.
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77. Oh, no!
It's Dr. Bald.
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78. Any minute now,
my army of alien zombies will be inva-
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79. Good Lord!
That is an ugly ring!
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80. Hey, alien zombies,
get a load of that ring!
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81. - All right. That's it. This thing's comin' off.
- Oh, whoa! Be careful, man.
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82. You drop something that big and heavy,
it'll throw off the Earth's rotation.
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83. We'll all go crashing into the sun.
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84. Way to use science in a burn.
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85. - ( Stereo: Rock )
- Donna, guess who hates the ring you got him?
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86. Eric hates the ring?
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87. - He told me he loved it.
- Well. See...
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88. Eric told Steven
that the ring was so ugly...
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89. that the Elephant Man wears it
to distract people from his face.
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90. That ring is beautiful.
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91. You know, what's ugly
is his bony little finger.
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92. Hey. You know what?
If he can't appreciate it...
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93. let's just take it back
and buy me somethin' pretty.
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94. According to your application,
your last job...
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95. was as Dancer Number Three...
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96. in the school production
of My Fair Lady.
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97. Yes. It was magical.
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98. Uh-huh. I'm afraid
your theater experience...
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99. doesn't really apply to working here
at the D.M.V.
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100. But, Nina, what is the D.M.V. really,
if not one big stage?
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101. The D.M.V. is the Department
of Motor Vehicles. It is not a stage.
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102. Ah, but in a way,
they're very similar.
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103. - No, they're not.
- Oh, but really, they are.
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104. - No, they're not.
- Okay.
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105. - They are.
- No, they're not!
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106. I'm just gonna put down
no prior experience.
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107. Fair enough.
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108. Ah, but you haven't asked me
about my special skills yet.
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109. Well, I really don't see how
a fondness for pie is relevant.
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110. But, Nina, what is the D.M.V. really,
if not one big pie shop?
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111. Great.
Clicker's on the fritz.
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112. All I want to do is see the end of
Guiding Light, and it won't click.
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113. - ( Clicking )
- Click, damn it! Click!
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114. Kitty?
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115. I think your lady problem
is acting up again.
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116. It jus- It just won't click,
that's all.
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117. It's supposed to click, Red.
It's a clicker. That's what it does.
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118. Okay.
Let's get you to bed.
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119. Okay, you guys? Uh, very important. Donna's
coming over, and I lost the ring she gave me.
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120. - I thought I had it in the basement.
- Eric, please!
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121. Your mother is having a breakdown.
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122. No. The only thing having a breakdown
around here is the clicker!
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123. Why won't it click, Red?
Nothing loves me!
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124. Okay, Eric.
Jackie just told me...
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125. that Hyde told her
that you hate the ring.
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126. Uh-oh.
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127. I happen to think it's beautiful.
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128. Besides, that is what
a man-ring looks like.
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129. Well, you know, Donna, maybe I'm just not
a man-ring kind of guy.
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130. I mean, I like man-pants
and man-shirts.
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131. Eric, you could've just told me
you didn't like it when I gave it to you.
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132. You know what? Just-
Just give it back.
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133. I absolutely will...
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134. just as soon as I find it.
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135. What?
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136. How could you lose it?
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137. I told you it was a symbol...
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138. of our loving freakin' relationship!
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139. And my losing it is a symbol...
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140. of how much I love
and... respect you?
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141. I need cold compresses
and a Bloody Mary. Quick!
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142. Your mother is talking about
adopting a communist orphan.
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143. Now move.
I need help, damn it!
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144. I don't... understand.
How could I lose a 25-pound ring?
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145. I once lost a six-foot-long
rubber chili dog.
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146. And I still haven't found it.
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147. It's just gone!
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148. You know what, Hyde?
This whole thing's your fault.
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149. You're the one who told Jackie
I didn't like the ring.
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150. Hyde stabbed you in the back?
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151. No. He wouldn't do
anything like that.
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152. Like he didn't stealJackie
from me. Oh, wait a minute!
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153. Look, man.
I told her not to tell.
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154. Yeah. And I told you not to tell.
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155. You and Jackie are gossiping now?
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156. You know, the more you two go out,
the more like each other you get.
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157. Yeah. Who knows what you and your little
girlfriend are gonna be like in a couple months.
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158. - ( Whistle Blows )
- ( Together) Two, four, six, eight.
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159. Who do we appreciate?
Go team!
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160. - Whoo!
- Whoo-hoo! Number one! Yeah!
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161. Jackie? I heard
the best piece of gossip.
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162. Eric Forman doesn't have
any school spirit.
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163. ( Gasps )
I'm tellin' everyone!
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164. - Too late. I already did.
- ( Squeals )
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165. First of all,
Jackie is not my girlfriend.
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166. And second of all, I'm not the only one
who spills stuff around here.
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167. Yeah. You're right. Hey, Kelso.
Hyde watches Little House on the Prairie.
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168. Little House on the Prairie?
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169. It reminds me of a simpler time.
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170. How could Eric lose that ring? And more
importantly, how could he think it was ugly?
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171. It's got real nugget-gold plating
and the abalone is inlaid.
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172. If you were my girlfriend,
I would be proud to wear that ring.
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173. Heck, I'd wear it if you just wanted
to fool around a little.
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174. Get my drift, Big "D"?
( Clicks Tongue, Groans )
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175. All I know is, you guys better watch
what you say around here.
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176. Some people can't be trusted because
they have a great, big mouth! Jackie!
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177. How could you say that?
My mouth...
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178. is in perfect proportion
to the rest of my face.
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179. Plenty of classy men wear rings.
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180. Wayne Newton.
The pope.
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181. My Uncle Carmine from Hoboken.
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182. You lose his ring,
you wake up in a Dumpster.
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183. And that's just a warning!
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184. Now I think that's all the questions
I have about your application.
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185. Okay, but one thing
my application doesn't say...
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186. is how much I would apply
myself to the job here.
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187. I'm gonna have to ask you
to stop making puns now.
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188. I really don't think
this is going to work out, so-
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189. Wow! That is a gorgeous man-ring.
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190. You know, wearing a ring this big
shows a lot of confidence.
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191. Well, I do feel like a king
when I wear it.
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192. And, you know, what is the D.M.V. really,
if not one big kingdom?
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193. You know what?
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194. You're stubborn, under qualified...
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195. and you barely speak English.
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196. Welcome to the D.M.V.
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197. Wait a minute. You're mad at me
for telling Donna a secret?
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198. Steven, I tell secrets.
It's who I am.
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199. Look. All I'm sayin' is,
if you're gonna be my girlfriend...
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200. you can't go runnin' around, shootin' off
your big, fat, cheerleader mouth.
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201. You just called me your girlfriend.
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202. No, I didn't.
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203. - Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
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204. - Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
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205. Yes, you did, and shut up.
You're ruining it!
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206. Okay, now listen to me.
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207. I'll keep my mouth shut,
if you admit that I'm your girlfriend.
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208. No, the price is too high.
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209. Okay, fine. You know what?
I'm telling everybody everything anyways.
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210. Starting with the fact that you
called me your girlfriend.
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211. You're blackmailing me?
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212. You're coming along nicely.
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213. Good news.
I got the job.
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214. What the hell is that
on your finger?
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215. Oh, it's chocolate and coconut.
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216. I can't believe you took my ring.
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217. Oh.
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218. Yes.
I took it.
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219. I took it, and I'm proud.
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220. You don't deserve
something this beautiful.
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221. You have a girlfriend.
You have a ring. I have nothing!
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222. Well, you-you have a job.
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223. Well, that's true.
Good for me.
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224. You guys, look at this thing.
God, what was Donna thinking?
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225. Forman, you gotta expect this.
I mean, look at her dad.
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226. The apple doesn't fall
far from the Bob.
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227. Now, this ring's
a wolf attackin' a zebra.
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228. This one's a zebra attackin' a wolf.
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229. And in this one,
they're finally friends.
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230. Hey, there. Hi, there.
Ho, there. Let's go.
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231. I'm not goin' to the game
with you in that jacket, Bob.
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232. I'm not goin' to the game, Bob.
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233. My God, she never had a chance.
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234. Hyde, my girlfriend has bad taste.
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235. Well, she is dating you.
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236. Ah, a good burn, Fez.
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237. And that ring is only the beginning, man.
I can see it now.
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238. Eric, you look so foxy.
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239. Hey, there. Hi, there.
Ho, there.
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240. Ta-da!
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241. Look what I found.
And I didn't even lose it. Fez took it.
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242. So, basically, you got mad at me
for being a victim of robbery.
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243. Okay.
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244. Apologetic look accepted.
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245. Eric, I got mad at you for not being honest,
and that hasn't changed.
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246. Really?
Huh, I thought it might've.
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247. I gave you the ring as a symbol of how far
we've come in our relationship.
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248. And if you can't be honest,
then you shouldn't be wearing that ring at all.
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249. Okay. You want me to be honest?
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250. Okay.
I kind of think...
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251. that you have bad taste.
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252. What?
I do not!
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253. Okay. Well, then, tell me
what you think of this room-
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254. this turquoise-and-chrome
disaster of a room.
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255. I think it's classy
and sophisticated.
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256. You know, maybe you're the one
who has bad taste. In fact-
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257. Why don't you tell me about
this pea-soup-colored chair?
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258. I think it's comfortable and soothing,
just like pea soup.
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259. Well, I think this whole room...
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260. is a great example of bad taste.
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261. - Excuse me?
- Uh, Mrs. Forman.
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262. I have spent years picking
every item in this room...
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263. so that I would be surrounded
by the things I love...
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264. and the people I thought loved me.
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265. Hey, Kitty?
How about a nap?
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266. And you. Have you fixed
the damn clicker yet?
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267. What good is a clicker
if it won't click?
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268. Oh, my goodness.
I am flying right off the handle.
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269. Seems to me you're
just as pleasant as always.
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270. Ooh, that is sweet.
Oh.
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271. I think I'd like to take a nap now.
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272. Wha- Did you see that?
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273. I told you the truth,
and we got into a fight.
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274. My dad told my mom she's pleasant-
a whopper of a lie-
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275. and they've been married 150 years.
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276. I don't care. I want you to tell me
the truth all the time.
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277. No. No, you don't.
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278. It's like when women ask...
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279. whether or not their outfit
makes them look fat.
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280. How many men tell them
they look fat? Zero.
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281. How many women look fat?
Not zero.
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282. That is totally different.
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283. No, Donna.
No, it isn't.
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284. Look, how could I look you in the eye
and tell you that I don't like the ring...
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285. when I love you so much?
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286. I guess I know what you mean.
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287. It's like when you
wrote me that song.
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288. Wait.
You love that song.
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289. Of course I do.
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290. You know what?
We are really bad with rings.
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291. Yeah. If we ever get married,
we should just exchange, like...
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292. buckets of chicken.
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293. Or, uh, I- I could
write you another song.
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294. - Oh. I'm fine with chicken.
- Okay.
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295. Does this outfit
make my butt look fat?
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296. No.
You look super.
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297. So, uh.
Wonder Boy and I...
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298. are thinking about
movin' in together.
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299. My parents are gonna freak!
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300. - You think your parents are gonna freak?
- Yeah, we're twins.
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301. It really hurts my feelings
that you call me Dr. Bald.
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302. Just because I'm evil doesn't mean I don't cry.
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303. Super jerks!
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