1. h
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2. ht
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3. htt
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4. http
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5. /
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6. http://
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7. http://h
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8. http://hi
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9. http://hiq
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10. http://hiqv
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11. http://hiqve
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12. http://hiqve.
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13. http://hiqve.c
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14. http://hiqve.com/
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15. http://hiqve.com/
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16. My last American Popsicle,
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17. washed down by my
last American grape soda.
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18. Fez, it's sad
you're getting deported,
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19. but this "last American" crap
is getting annoying.
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20. My last American
chance to annoy you.
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21. Hey, come on,
Fez, look on the bright side.
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22. I mean, we graduate tomorrow.
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23. You go to your country
with a high school diploma.
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24. They'll probably make you, like,
head medicine man or something.
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25. Eric, there is no bright side
about going back to a place
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26. where people are
outnumbered by lizards.
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27. I'm gonna miss you, man.
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28. When you get there,
can you mail me a lizard?
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29. Eric, guess what came for you.
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30. Okay, they just send those
to me, okay?
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31. I don't even find
those girls attractive.
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32. No, you perv. It's the key to
our new apartment in Madison.
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33. - Oh.
- Now we can leave tomorrow
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34. after graduation,
like we wanted.
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35. Great. By this time next week,
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36. our new neighbors will be
hearing your cries of love
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37. through our paper-thin walls.
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38. Cries of love?
Or cries of disappointment?
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39. Oh, I don't wanna go.
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40. Come on, Fez. It's not like
we're never gonna see you again.
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41. I'm sure in a couple months,
you'll be, like,
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42. on the cover of
National Geographic.
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43. Yeah, those bastards
are always so intrusive.
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44. Fez, look, at least
we're going camping tonight
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45. and we'll all be together
for our last big blow-out.
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46. Actually, it won't be all of us.
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47. Kelso can't make it on account
of he's got a broken face.
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48. I don't got a broken face.
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49. Well, you will if you keep interfering
with me getting Jackie back.
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50. You're the one
that's interfering.
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51. You know what?
I'm going and Jackie's going,
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52. and you're staying home!
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53. - No, you are.
- No, you are!
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54. - Fine, stay home, then.
- I will!
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55. Hey, stop it. Would you please put aside
your differences and go camping with me?
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56. We only have a few
hours left together.
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57. - Fine. I'll go for you.
- Good.
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58. Now, I am off to spend the rest of my
American money on candy and porno.
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59. - But, Fez...
- I said candy and porno!
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60. Hey, Jackie, you're gonna love
these cookies on the camping trip.
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61. They're sweet and tasty,
just like me.
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62. - Kelso, this apple's
kind of like you, too.
- You mean juicy and delicious?
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63. No, red and bruised.
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64. Yeah? Well, these hot dogs
are like you, too, Hyde,
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65. they're... Uh...
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66. - Kosher.
- Yeah, kosher!
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67. - Wait, what's kosher?
- That means
blessed by a rabbi.
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68. Burn!
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69. Jackie, are you sure
you wanna go camping?
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70. These idiots are gonna be
competing over you the whole time.
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71. Well, I am glad, Donna.
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72. They've both jerked me around so much,
I cannot wait to watch them fight over me.
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73. You know, if you really wanna mess
with them, you should do it with me.
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74. Hey, talk about humiliating.
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75. So, you guys are going to the
lake, huh? It is real fun up there.
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76. My senior year, I set the record for
most topless rides on the rope swing.
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77. - I wish I was going.
- Yeah, don't even
think about it, Laurie.
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78. There are enough scary things
in the woods already.
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79. Eric, I'm being deported, and
she's loose with the boobs. She goes.
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80. Hey, Forman. Your mom just
got back from the loony doctor.
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81. She got real depressed when she heard
you guys were moving to Madison, huh?
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82. Yeah, you're telling me. Last
night she was making sounds
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83. that were giving my
dad war flashbacks.
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84. What a beautiful day.
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85. I feel...
I feel like a rainbow.
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86. Anyone else feel like a rainbow?
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87. What happened to her?
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88. I wrote that just
for you, Jackie.
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89. He didn't write that, he just
ripped it off from American Pie.
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90. Nuh-uh, the American
Pie guy ripped me off.
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91. - You shut up, man.
- You shut up!
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92. Okay. I'm gonna freak everyone
out and tell my ghost story,
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93. so go hide in the woods and
jump out when I get to the end.
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94. You are
as wicked as you are gorgeous.
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95. You know, it really creeps me out being
up here after what happened to those kids.
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96. What kids?
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97. Well, a bunch of kids, just like
us, were camping out up here,
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98. and they disappeared.
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99. And all the police could find
were these bloody drag marks
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100. that led down to the lake.
It was like...
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101. It was like something killed
them and then pulled them in.
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102. Maybe it was
the Loch Ness monster.
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103. No. Fez, the Loch
Ness monster's in Africa.
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104. So, the police, like, searched
the lake with their sonar and stuff,
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105. and when they
played back the tapes,
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106. all they could hear in the
background was, like, a whisper.
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107. What did it say?
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108. "I am the Lady of the Lake.
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109. "I am the Lady of the Lake."
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110. Yeah. And you'll know when she's coming
because she screams before she kills.
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111. Let's see if we can hear her.
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112. I said, "Let's
see if we can hear her."
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113. Donna,
I'm stuck in a thorn bush.
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114. I heard her.
She's stuck in a thorn bush!
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115. I'm kind of cold.
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116. I'll reward whoever gets more firewood
by letting them feed me marshmallows.
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117. I'm not gonna go running around
the woods trying to impress you.
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118. I will.
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119. Damn it.
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120. I'm gonna go take
a walk down to the lake.
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121. She's going to the lake, old
boy. That means topless rope-swinging.
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122. Now, do you want to spend your
last hours in America eating s'mores
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123. or watching her glorious breasts
swinging in the chilly night air?
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124. I choose boobs.
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125. Well, this is so strange, you know?
It's, like, our last night all together.
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126. Yeah, it's too weird
to think about.
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127. Let's, like, do something
to get our minds off it.
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128. Well, here's the tent.
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129. So, I'll tell you what. I'll go inside,
strip down and just lay there...
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130. Let's go skinny-dipping. Meet me
down by the lake in five minutes.
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131. Wait, so...
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132. I have to walk all the way
down to the lake by myself?
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133. Yeah.
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134. That's cool.
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135. Here you go, Kitty.
Home, sweet home.
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136. I went into my closet to get a
jacket, I found Kitty standing in there.
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137. I like the way
the coats felt on my arms.
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138. Oh, yes!
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139. Why, there you are,
my little sex muffin.
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140. Little brother?
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141. What the hell was that?
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142. It's the Lady of the Lake!
She screams and then she kills!
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143. There's Laurie. Okay.
Time to turn on the charm.
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144. Hey, Laurie, are you naked, or
are you just happy to see me?
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145. - Oh, my God! Fez!
- Oh, my God! Donna!
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146. Steady, old boy.
Say something smooth.
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147. Nice honkers!
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148. - Get out of here!
- Hey,
you like the rough stuff, eh?
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149. It was awful. I saw Laurie,
and everything just went blank.
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150. And I just ran, Donna.
I just ran away.
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151. And then I heard
these high-pitched screams,
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152. and it was me.
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153. Yeah? Well,
I've got bigger problems.
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154. Fez is a good artist. He's gonna
paint me onto a nudie poster
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155. and sell it to every gaucho in
Argentina, or wherever the hell he's from.
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156. Eric, I'm gonna be
Miss Nude Argentina.
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157. You know,
being here under the stars,
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158. sitting on the grass,
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159. makes me really
glad I'm not poor.
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160. Check out that fire, baby.
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161. Yeah, if there's one thing I'm good at,
it's turning a small fire into a big fire.
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162. Man, that one
guitar-shaped log is roaring.
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163. Is that my guitar?
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164. Yep.
It's got a nice, warm sound.
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165. Dead!
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166. Hey, back off, man.
Jackie doesn't want you.
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167. Yeah? She still has feelings
for me, and you know it!
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168. Okay, okay, okay, stop it!
This isn't fun for me anymore!
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169. What?
What do you mean fun for you?
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170. I didn't say that.
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171. Yeah, you did. All right,
what are you trying to do?
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172. You're getting your kicks off of
watching us jump through hoops over you.
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173. Nah,
we didn't jump through hoops.
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174. I'm good at that,
I would have won that.
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175. All right, I'm done with this crap,
Jackie. You choose right now, me or him.
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176. Yeah, who's it gonna be?
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177. - Wait. What? No. I...
- What's the matter,
you don't know?
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178. No, I don't know!
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179. Wow.
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180. Drama.
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181. I know.
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182. For a second there, I almost forgot
about my sister's wet, naked ass. Oh, God.
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183. Yeah, where is Laurie?
And where's Fez?
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184. That was incredible, huh?
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185. It was okay.
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186. Okay's good enough for me.
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187. Wow. Yeah, I don't know
if it's the mountain air
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188. or the poison from that
thorn bush, but I slept great.
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189. Oh, my God, it's almost 10:30.
We're late for graduation!
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190. Wait, wait, guys?
Guys, where's the van?
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191. I think it's obvious, Jackie.
The Lady of the Lake stole it!
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192. - Why would a ghost need a van?
- What's she gonna do,
hitch a ride?
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193. Who's gonna pick up a ghost?
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194. And you're telling me
you can't decide between us?
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195. Oh, my God. Fez and Laurie.
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196. - They probably took
it to mess with us.
- Oh, man. I'm gonna kill them.
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197. Eric, if I'm right about the Lady
of the Lake, and I think I am,
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198. they might already be dead.
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199. I can't believe those morons
missed their own graduation!
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200. My whole life, I waited to hear the
Pinciotti name called at graduation.
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201. When they skipped
from Olendorff to Stevens,
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202. a little part of me died.
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203. Come on.
Let's get you a hoagie.
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204. Kitty.
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205. We've gotta have a little conversation
about those pills you're taking.
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206. These things? I think
they're working wonders.
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207. You know, I didn't cry once
when Eric got his diploma.
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208. I just smiled and
took his picture.
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209. That wasn't Eric,
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210. that was some skinny girl
with a Dorothy Hamill haircut.
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211. It's not fair, Red.
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212. You teach your children
how to walk, to use a fork,
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213. to look both ways
before crossing the street,
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214. and then one day you realize, all you're
doing is teaching them how to leave.
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215. We should never
have potty-trained him.
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216. Listen, Kitty. We did the
kid thing and it was great,
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217. but now I'm looking forward to
it just being the two of us again.
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218. This is our time,
let's enjoy it.
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219. You're right, Red.
I don't need those.
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220. Whenever I feel like I'm on the
verge of a nervous breakdown,
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221. I'll just come and talk to you.
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222. And I'll just give
you one of these.
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223. Wow. What a great day.
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224. Not only did we get
to miss our own graduation,
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225. but we got to ride home
in the back of a pig truck.
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226. Yeah,
when it went around a corner,
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227. one of those pigs almost
went to third base on me.
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228. You know what?
I need a shower.
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229. Hang on.
You're not going anywhere.
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230. - You haven't given
us an answer yet.
- Yeah, who's it gonna be?
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231. You know what? I can't
talk about love right now.
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232. The bottom of my jeans
have something brown on them!
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233. Where the hell have you been?
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234. I have waited 18 years
for my graduation picture.
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235. I want you all back
here at 5:00 sharp,
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236. in your caps and gowns,
ready to say "cheese."
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237. Is that clear?
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238. - Fine.
- Fine.
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239. Yes, Mom.
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240. Hey? What kind of a moron
leaves the keys in the ignition?
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241. When I put the keys in my pocket, it
distracts from my natural bulge. God!
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242. You guys, I've been thinking
about Steven and Michael all day,
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243. and I don't know who to pick.
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244. Face facts, Jackie. There's
only one good man in this town,
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245. and, well, he's leaving.
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246. Eric, this is really hard.
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247. I mean, okay, I know I love Steven
because he's smart, and he's deep,
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248. and when we have a
conversation, he makes me think,
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249. which used to give me a
headache but now I really like.
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250. - So, go with Hyde.
- Yeah, but Michael.
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251. Oh, Michael is so beautiful!
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252. And you spend a lot more time looking
at someone than you do talking to them.
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253. Again, go with Hyde.
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254. No, but,
Donna, you don't understand.
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255. Look, I know in a lot of ways I
need Steven, but Michael needs me.
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256. And it's nice to be needed.
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257. You know what, Jackie?
In order to help you,
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258. and, well, just to speed
this thing up, I, uh...
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259. I think you should just take everything
and toss it aside, and ask yourself,
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260. who do you love the most?
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261. You're right. You're right.
That's what I should do
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262. - because I'm...
- No, no. Not here. Not here.
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263. Yeah, that's... Yeah.
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264. More dishes? I thought
we already loaded these.
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265. You had to bring
the Millennium Falcon.
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266. Son, here's 10 bucks for gas.
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267. No way. Thanks.
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268. Well, I just wanna make sure
that you get out.
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269. I mean, that you get,
um, all the way there.
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270. Okay, guys, I made a decision.
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271. So, who's it gonna be? Tall
and hot or short and kosher?
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272. Would you shut
the hell up and let her talk?
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273. Okay, look, I had to ask
myself a really hard question.
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274. Who do I love most? I mean,
and the answer was so obvious.
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275. It was staring me in the face
the whole time.
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276. The person I love most is me.
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277. I love me most.
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278. You choose you?
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279. Look, if I could run across the
beach into my own arms, I would.
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280. Wait, what...
So where does that leave us?
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281. I'll figure that out after I
spend the summer by the pool.
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282. I feel this will be a lot
clearer when I'm much tanner.
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283. What a bunch of crap, man.
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284. You know, freaking girls.
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285. If it wasn't for the soft skin, the
legs, the eyes, the long fingernails,
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286. the butts and the boobs,
I wouldn't even talk to them.
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287. All right, all right, picture time.
Everybody get in front of the car.
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288. Hey, Forman, I got you a plant
for your new apartment,
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289. but, um, I can't give it to
you in front of your parents.
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290. Okay, here we go. One, two...
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291. - Guys,
I have something to tell you.
- Just talk while you pose.
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292. Kitty, be sure to get me in the background
loading the last bunch of Eric's crap.
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293. - Oh, man.
- Okay, here we go. Smile!
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294. Okay, tell them, Laurie.
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295. I married Fez so he could stay
in the country!
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296. You did what?
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297. Don't worry, Daddy. I don't
love him, I was just bored.
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298. Yeah, but we will
be sleeping together.
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299. You... Oh.
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300. Ooh.
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301. - Dad, are you all right?
- Uh, yeah. I'm fine.
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302. I'm just... My arm hurts.
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303. Red. Red, you're all clammy. Red,
I think you're having a heart attack.
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304. No, open your eyes.
He's having an arm attack.
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305. Michael. Michael, get a chair.
Laurie, call an ambulance.
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306. Okay. Hang in there, Dad.
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307. - Kitty?
- Yes, Red?
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308. If I don't make it,
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309. kill the foreigner.
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310. So, Red's gonna be okay, huh?
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311. Yeah, he's doing better, but they're
gonna be at the hospital for a while.
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312. - Hey, you got
the letter for your folks?
- Yes.
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313. I told them I'm married
and I'm not coming home,
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314. and that people have landed
on the Great White Head.
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315. Yeah, that'll get there.
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316. http://hiqve.com/
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