1. h
Copy !req
2. ht
Copy !req
3. htt
Copy !req
4. http
Copy !req
5. /
Copy !req
6. http://
Copy !req
7. http://h
Copy !req
8. http://hi
Copy !req
9. http://hiq
Copy !req
10. http://hiqv
Copy !req
11. http://hiqve
Copy !req
12. http://hiqve.
Copy !req
13. http://hiqve.c
Copy !req
14. http://hiqve.com/
Copy !req
15. http://hiqve.com/
Copy !req
16. It's the A-bomb!
Duck and cover!
Copy !req
17. I bet Eric's
trying to sneak out.
Copy !req
18. Red, Red, wait, wait.
What if it's a burglar?
Copy !req
19. What's a burglar
gonna steal from us?
Copy !req
20. My Shirley Temple figurines.
Copy !req
21. Oh, I knew I shouldn't have
told Liz Anderson about them.
Copy !req
22. Her nephew's been
in jail, you know.
Copy !req
23. Oh!
Look at this. Some guard dog.
Copy !req
24. You know, we could be trampled
by Mongolians,
Copy !req
25. this thing wouldn't
even wag its tail.
Copy !req
26. Hey.
I heard a scary noise.
Copy !req
27. Good God. Are you nude?
Copy !req
28. No.
Copy !req
29. I'm wearing my toga.
Copy !req
30. - There it is again.
- That's it,
I'm getting my bat.
Copy !req
31. All right, calm down. It's probably
just Steven trying to sneak out.
Copy !req
32. What if it's not Steven?
What if the burglar has Steven?
Copy !req
33. Well, then we'll try to talk
him into taking Eric, too.
Copy !req
34. - Okay, let's do this.
- Look at him.
Copy !req
35. Bare-assed and
holding a plastic bat.
Copy !req
36. That's your son, Kitty.
Copy !req
37. What kind of burglar
robs people on a weeknight?
Copy !req
38. Doesn't he have a job to go to
in the morning?
Copy !req
39. - Jackie?
- What the hell?
Copy !req
40. - Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
Copy !req
41. Forman, are you naked?
Copy !req
42. Hello, Wisconsin!
Copy !req
43. Who the hell do
you think you are,
Copy !req
44. bringing a girl into my house
in the middle of the night?
Copy !req
45. And right in our basement. We keep
our Christmas decorations down there.
Copy !req
46. Baby Jesus was watching.
Copy !req
47. I told you to look
where you were going.
Copy !req
48. But what idiot leaves a Lego
set right in front of the door?
Copy !req
49. You knocked over
my space command center?
Copy !req
50. I spent three
hours building that.
Copy !req
51. All right. Now what is
going on in my basement?
Copy !req
52. Jackie's been sleeping here
the last couple of weeks.
Copy !req
53. Couple of weeks? This is not
the Playboy Mansion, you know.
Copy !req
54. - Look, nothing was going on.
- Nothing was going on?
Copy !req
55. Space command
centers were ruined!
Copy !req
56. Would you please go
put some pants on?
Copy !req
57. This is where I eat.
Copy !req
58. Jackie's only been staying here
Copy !req
59. 'cause her dad's in jail and
her mom's still not back yet.
Copy !req
60. Steven! That's private.
Copy !req
61. Your mom's not back yet?
You told me she came home.
Copy !req
62. Look, can we not talk about this?
I'm fine. Okay? Everything is fine.
Copy !req
63. - But if you need a place...
- No, no, no. I don't need anything.
Copy !req
64. Look, I'm only here 'cause...
Copy !req
65. I am such a tramp.
Copy !req
66. So, I should just go home
and try to control my dirty urges.
Copy !req
67. Jackie, you're not going home.
There's nobody there.
Copy !req
68. All right, look, Jackie, tonight
you can sleep in Laurie's room,
Copy !req
69. and then tomorrow, we'll
track down your floozy mother.
Copy !req
70. Honey, do you have any idea
where she might be?
Copy !req
71. Well, the last postcard I got had a picture
of some guy with a bone through his nose.
Copy !req
72. What is that, like, Tennessee?
Copy !req
73. Hey, Donna, this just in.
Copy !req
74. Your weirdo
boyfriend sleeps in the nude.
Copy !req
75. Yeah, so? I do, too.
Copy !req
76. Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
77. Oh, I can see it now,
Copy !req
78. and it is glorious.
Copy !req
79. Excuse me.
Copy !req
80. Jackie, I can't believe
your parents are gone.
Copy !req
81. I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
82. Okay, everybody needs to
stop worrying about me. I'm fine.
Copy !req
83. I mean, how could I not be?
Copy !req
84. Mrs. Forman did my hair and
made me smiley-faced pancakes.
Copy !req
85. Eric, this house is like a shabby
hotel with really great service.
Copy !req
86. Oh, hey, while you're visiting,
Copy !req
87. here's my Lego set and a picture
of the space command center.
Copy !req
88. Okay? Get building.
Copy !req
89. And I swear to God,
Copy !req
90. if my three-man escape pod doesn't
fit the star bay, heads are gonna roll.
Copy !req
91. I have a question.
Copy !req
92. If Hyde was in Hyde's bed,
and Jackie was in Hyde's bed,
Copy !req
93. what exactly was
going on in said bed?
Copy !req
94. - Nothing. She needed a place to sleep.
- "Needed a place to sleep?"
Copy !req
95. Well, a bed is an interesting
choice, now, wouldn't you say?
Copy !req
96. Oh, shut up, Michael. It's
not like we were doing it.
Copy !req
97. Oh, come on, Jackie.
Copy !req
98. You can't sleep in the same bed
with someone and not be doing it.
Copy !req
99. I've fallen asleep not doing
it and woken up doing it.
Copy !req
100. And that's why they won't
put him to sleep at the dentist.
Copy !req
101. Guys, I don't know
what's going on with Nina.
Copy !req
102. I keep asking to meet her parents,
but she keeps making excuses.
Copy !req
103. It's probably the same reason I
won't let you meet my parents.
Copy !req
104. I mean, she's afraid you're gonna
say something weird and embarrass her.
Copy !req
105. Oh, please. I'm a hot-looking,
smooth-talking, frisky-assed son of a bitch.
Copy !req
106. Hey, Fez.
Right there. That's like...
Copy !req
107. That's like a really
weird thing to say.
Copy !req
108. Yeah, I mean, we're used to
you, but, dude, you're weird.
Copy !req
109. I mean, and for Nina to
let you meet her parents, I...
Copy !req
110. I think what Kelso's
trying to say, is that
Copy !req
111. maybe you don't make
the best first impression.
Copy !req
112. Like, remember the first time
you met my parents?
Copy !req
113. - Mom, Dad, this is Fez.
- Well, hello there.
Copy !req
114. He did what?
Copy !req
115. Yeah, and then it actually got
even more disturbing.
Copy !req
116. Get this creepy bastard off me!
Copy !req
117. Man, I never heard that story.
Copy !req
118. Wait, so how was Forman's mom?
Copy !req
119. Well, at first she
was giving me nothing,
Copy !req
120. but by the end
she was giving me something.
Copy !req
121. Yeah, she's spunky!
Copy !req
122. - Man, I'd kiss your mom.
- Oh, my God.
Copy !req
123. How could Jackie's mother
abandon her only child?
Copy !req
124. I have half a mind
to take this public.
Copy !req
125. We could go on Donahue.
Copy !req
126. No.
Go on Carson, he's funnier.
Copy !req
127. One time, the animal guy was on,
Copy !req
128. and his parrot dooked
right on Johnny's head.
Copy !req
129. Dad, I think you're
missing the point.
Copy !req
130. We need to find Jackie
some place to stay, you know?
Copy !req
131. Where she won't be all alone.
Copy !req
132. I can get her a room
at the hotel I work at.
Copy !req
133. No, Jackie is not staying in a hotel.
We have an empty room right here.
Copy !req
134. Kitty, every time we have an empty room,
you wanna fill it up with a stray child.
Copy !req
135. You're like the old
lady who lived in a shoe.
Copy !req
136. Did you just call me "old"?
Copy !req
137. Okay.
Okay. Here's what I think.
Copy !req
138. Oh, hey, everybody!
Mr. Nude has an opinion.
Copy !req
139. I'm sure we're all interested
in what Mr. Nude has to say.
Copy !req
140. Floor's all yours,
Copy !req
141. Mr. Nude.
Copy !req
142. Never mind.
Copy !req
143. Well, I guess he was just
thinking about being nude.
Copy !req
144. What is wrong with you people?
Copy !req
145. There is nothing funny
about a teenage girl
Copy !req
146. whose mother abandoned her.
Copy !req
147. You know, we're all Jackie's got.
We can't just turn our backs on her.
Copy !req
148. Donna, you're right.
Copy !req
149. You tell Jackie
she can stay with us.
Copy !req
150. What? No.
No, she can't stay with us.
Copy !req
151. - Sure. She can stay
in your room with you.
- But...
Copy !req
152. Oh, you're all
gonna pay for this!
Copy !req
153. I can't believe my dad's making
me ask Jackie to move in with us.
Copy !req
154. This is gonna be a nightmare.
Copy !req
155. "Donna, where's your spirit?"
Copy !req
156. "Donna, you're still hungry?"
Copy !req
157. "Donna, your lumberjack head
is blocking out the sun."
Copy !req
158. You know, I'm not too big,
all right? She is too small.
Copy !req
159. Okay, just for the record,
Copy !req
160. I don't sleep nude
for any disgusting reason.
Copy !req
161. I'm just a hot sleeper.
Copy !req
162. Okay, I'm not a hot sleeper.
Copy !req
163. I'm 17 years old, okay? I sleep
right next door to the girl I love.
Copy !req
164. Things occur to me, okay?
Copy !req
165. If I'm already nude, you know,
I mean, it just saves time.
Copy !req
166. Guys, Nina agreed
to let me meet her parents.
Copy !req
167. And to seem completely normal,
Copy !req
168. I've come up with the perfect
opening line for Nina's mother.
Copy !req
169. "Hello, Mrs. Bartel, I can see
where Nina gets her lovely ass."
Copy !req
170. You're so weird, man.
Copy !req
171. You know what?
There's a way around that.
Copy !req
172. I'm gonna make you so beautiful,
Copy !req
173. that Nina's parents don't notice
how freaking weird you are.
Copy !req
174. Being beautiful, that's
how I get away with stuff.
Copy !req
175. Except my problem is,
I gotta tone it down,
Copy !req
176. 'cause otherwise the
chick's mom gets interested.
Copy !req
177. Then we got a big problem.
Copy !req
178. Now, let's make you man-pretty.
Copy !req
179. Okay. I've been thinking
about what to do with Jackie,
Copy !req
180. and I think we're overlooking
the mobile home option. Okay?
Copy !req
181. You could park her
right in the driveway,
Copy !req
182. and we'll all know she's safe
in her own little steel box.
Copy !req
183. Donna, what... You have to
let her stay with you. Come on.
Copy !req
184. - She's your best friend.
— She's not my best friend.
Copy !req
185. Well,
then, who's your best friend?
Copy !req
186. Oh, crap!
How the hell did that happen?
Copy !req
187. Oh, look. Mr. Nude is helping.
Copy !req
188. Mr. Nude, huh? That was
my nickname in college.
Copy !req
189. Dad, you didn't go to college.
Copy !req
190. Didn't stop me from
getting a nickname.
Copy !req
191. Uh-huh. So, are you all
gonna be here for this?
Copy !req
192. 'Cause I don't think Jackie's
gonna be cool with that.
Copy !req
193. Well, Steven,
everybody needs support.
Copy !req
194. Like this one time, I left the
supermarket in a really bad mood,
Copy !req
195. and then I met these very
nice people, the Hare Krishnas.
Copy !req
196. They sang me a song,
they gave me some rice.
Copy !req
197. It was just
the little pickup I needed.
Copy !req
198. You know, if I hadn't had to make
dinner, I might've gotten into their van.
Copy !req
199. Yeah, those freaks
were hassling me once, too,
Copy !req
200. so when they weren't looking,
I stole five boxes of Thin Mints.
Copy !req
201. Kelso, those were Girl Scouts.
Copy !req
202. Whatever, man.
They were pushy.
Copy !req
203. Here comes Jackie.
Copy !req
204. Well, I think this
is a big mistake,
Copy !req
205. so when this blows up in your
face, don't come looking for me.
Copy !req
206. I'll be busting up
Forman's space station again.
Copy !req
207. Jackie. Jackie, Donna has
something she wants to ask you.
Copy !req
208. Donna.
Copy !req
209. So,
Jackie, we were all thinking
Copy !req
210. that you might come
stay with me for a while,
Copy !req
211. since you're having
such a hard time right now.
Copy !req
212. God, I am so sick of this!
I don't have hard times!
Copy !req
213. I'm Jackie Burkhart.
Copy !req
214. I got voted head cheerleader by the
largest margin in cheerleader history.
Copy !req
215. Okay? I have a wonderful life.
Copy !req
216. Yeah, but, Jackie, your dad's
in prison, and your mom...
Copy !req
217. Well, yeah, I'm sorry, Donna,
Copy !req
218. but you're just not popular
enough for me to live with.
Copy !req
219. I'm not popular enough?
Copy !req
220. I was doing you a favor
'cause I felt bad for you.
Copy !req
221. Well, don't, okay? I don't need
to be your good deed for the day.
Copy !req
222. Fine. There's the door.
Copy !req
223. Don't let it hit your popular
little butt on the way out.
Copy !req
224. Fine.
Copy !req
225. Well, that was pretty hot.
Copy !req
226. and that is how you make
a canoe out of banana skins.
Copy !req
227. Oh!
Copy !req
228. They love me, see? There's
nothing to worry about.
Copy !req
229. - Great,
then we should get going.
- Oh, oh, don't go.
Copy !req
230. Oh, it's such a pleasure having
someone so exotic in our home.
Copy !req
231. We're so happy that Nina
has made a friend of you, Fez.
Copy !req
232. Well, maybe it's because I'm so
handsome, and not at all creepy.
Copy !req
233. And, by the way, I see
where Nina gets her lovely ass.
Copy !req
234. Hey, I was talking to you, Mr.
Bartel.
Copy !req
235. Oh, my!
Copy !req
236. Honey, you are really
broadening your horizons.
Copy !req
237. Having a friend like this is gonna
look great on your college application.
Copy !req
238. Yes, we always enjoy
meeting Nina's friends.
Copy !req
239. Oh, you keep calling me her "friend."
Don't you mean, her "boyfriend"?
Copy !req
240. Boyfriend?
Copy !req
241. - What's so funny?
- Oh,
you can't be her boyfriend.
Copy !req
242. - Why not?
- Because you're... What's the word, honey?
Copy !req
243. - Different?
- Okay. Different.
Copy !req
244. Oh, I see.
Copy !req
245. - You mean, "not white."
- Fez, no.
Copy !req
246. I think I'll be leaving now.
Good day.
Copy !req
247. - Fez, wait...
- I said, "Good day."
Copy !req
248. And by the way, I hope
you do not have a good day.
Copy !req
249. And then when I asked her to live with
me, she said I'm not freaking popular.
Copy !req
250. Am I not on the radio all
the time as "Hot Donna"?
Copy !req
251. Okay? There are "Hot Donna"
posters all over town, objectifying me.
Copy !req
252. Is Jackie being objectified?
No!
Copy !req
253. She only said that 'cause you
embarrassed her in a room full of people.
Copy !req
254. It was like a damn telethon in there.
The only thing missing was Jerry Lewis.
Copy !req
255. So, what, it's my fault
'cause I didn't ask her right?
Copy !req
256. Okay.
How about when your mom left?
Copy !req
257. Think about how you would've felt if
you walked into a roomful of people,
Copy !req
258. everyone's talking about how sad
your life is, and how much they pity you.
Copy !req
259. Yeah, I guess I get that.
Copy !req
260. I'm just saying that
Jackie needs a place to stay,
Copy !req
261. and it'd be really cool
Copy !req
262. if maybe you could ask her in a
way that doesn't make her feel bad.
Copy !req
263. Fine.
Copy !req
264. But she didn't have
to call me unpopular, okay?
Copy !req
265. Unpopular girls don't get free
Slurpees from Tommy at the 7-Eleven.
Copy !req
266. Donna, two years ago, Tommy tried
to jump a school bus on his moped.
Copy !req
267. He didn't make it, and now he
gives everyone free Slurpees.
Copy !req
268. So, you see, Jackie, the reason I
asked you to stay with me before,
Copy !req
269. is because,
well, you were right.
Copy !req
270. I am unpopular.
Copy !req
271. Go on.
Copy !req
272. I'm too tall,
Copy !req
273. and... And red hair is gross.
Copy !req
274. And, well,
if I don't do something soon,
Copy !req
275. my unpopularity is
gonna follow me to college,
Copy !req
276. unless you help.
Copy !req
277. Please come stay with me.
Copy !req
278. Jackie,
Copy !req
279. help
me be more like you.
Copy !req
280. Well, as long as everybody
knows I'm doing it for you,
Copy !req
281. I'll do it.
Copy !req
282. Great.
Copy !req
283. Hey, Donna. Thank you.
Copy !req
284. You're welcome.
Copy !req
285. Okay. First things first.
Copy !req
286. If you wanna be more popular,
you're gonna have to break up with Eric.
Copy !req
287. What?
Copy !req
288. You know, I have been called many
names since coming to this country,
Copy !req
289. but I have never been
treated like that before.
Copy !req
290. You know, Fez,
Copy !req
291. unfortunately, there are
some people in this world
Copy !req
292. that are gonna judge you
on the color of your skin,
Copy !req
293. or your funny accent,
Copy !req
294. or that girlie
little way you run.
Copy !req
295. But you know what?
You're not alone.
Copy !req
296. Why do you think
the Martians won't land here?
Copy !req
297. 'Cause they're green, and they know
people are gonna make fun of them.
Copy !req
298. You said it, brother.
Copy !req
299. I just wish there was someplace in
the world where prejudice didn't exist.
Copy !req
300. Well, that's Canada.
Copy !req
301. Yup, good old Canada.
Copy !req
302. They don't make
generalizations about people
Copy !req
303. 'cause they're too busy
playing hockey, or getting drunk,
Copy !req
304. or putting maple
syrup on their ham.
Copy !req
305. - Fez, we need to talk.
- Hey! He might not
be from this country,
Copy !req
306. but he's beautiful, damn it!
Copy !req
307. Nina, our relationship is over.
My self-respect demands it,
Copy !req
308. and there's nothing you can
say to make me change my mind.
Copy !req
309. Fez, my parents are jerks,
Copy !req
310. and I wanna get back at them
by doing it with you on their bed.
Copy !req
311. Except that. Thanks, Kelso.
Copy !req
312. Fire! Fire!
Copy !req
313. - What are you doing?
- Well, look at this.
Copy !req
314. Mr. Nude is still nude.
Copy !req
315. - You're nuts.
- Wow.
Copy !req
316. Strong words from Mr. Nude.
Copy !req
317. We're doing this every night
until you put on some bottoms.
Copy !req
318. Fire!
Copy !req
319. Fire!
Copy !req
320. http://hiqve.com/
Copy !req