1. And then I realized,
that's why they call it a clock radio.
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2. 'Cause it's got both.
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3. Hey, Donna.
Feast your eyes. All new stuff...
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4. for me and Joanne's weekend
away at tennis camp.
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5. BillieJean King's sister is leading
the campfire songs.
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6. We're gonna make quite the racket.
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7. Good one, Bob.
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8. Bob's goin' out of town
for the weekend?
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9. All right!
Party at Donna's!
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10. Okay. We're gonna need
beer, balloons...
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11. and girls with low self-esteem.
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12. Guys, hang on. Donna and I already
made plans this weekend.
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13. Well, then just leave us a key, man.
And don't worry. If anything bad happens...
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14. I know how to make it look
like a robbery-homicide.
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15. Look, Eric and I want
one weekend alone...
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16. where we don't have to be so secret
about being engaged.
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17. I could even wear my ring
if it weren't being resized for me.
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18. Can they make a ring big enough to fit
your Paul Bunyan hands?
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19. - Jackie?
- Well, I'm sorry, Donna...
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20. but if you're not gonna have a party,
you're gonna get insulted.
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21. It's just the way it is.
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22. The way I see it, unless Donna's blockin'
the door with her giant hands...
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23. - we're comin' over for a party.
- Oh-Oh!
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24. We should get one of those girls
that jump out of cakes.
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25. Yeah. They're great.
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26. You know, you two could do
a little less standin' around...
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27. and a little more
jumpin' out of cakes.
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28. Morning.
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29. Hey, Dad, I was thinking of spending
tonight and tomorrow over at Fez's.
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30. At whose's?
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31. The foreign boy
with the tight pants...
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32. wears a little too much cologne.
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33. I don't like him.
I caught him stealin' bacon out of our fridge.
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34. Why are you doing your homework
in the morning?
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35. Uh, I was out last night with Donna.
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36. Well, of course you were. That's why you
came in a half hour past the curfew.
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37. Oh, well, Donna had a flat.
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38. Ohh!
That's awful bad luck.
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39. Seein' how Donna doesn't have a car.
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40. I see you getting bigger...
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41. but you still act
like a 12-year-old.
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42. Now, when are you gonna grow up
and start thinkin' about your future?
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43. Red, don't get upset so early.
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44. You won't enjoy
your sausage and Tang.
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45. Sausage and Tang?
Is-
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46. Is that a little racy for breakfast?
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47. I don't get it.
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48. Well, I'm gonna leave
before someone explains it.
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49. Good morning.
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50. Steven.
You got a big tear in that jacket.
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51. Yeah. It's hard hoppin'
over a fence carrying two 12 packs.
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52. I mean, library books.
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53. Well, I'm gonna ignore that, 'cause you
don't even have parents to buy you a new coat.
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54. He doesn't have parents, Eric.
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55. He told me that sometimes
when he's all alone, he cries.
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56. Oh, that settles it.
I'm taking you shopping for a new coat.
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57. Here, here.
Take some Tang and go.
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58. Man, if I had a dollar for every time
I heard a chick say that.
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59. What? What? Never turn down Tang.
Growing boys need Tang.
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60. What is funny here?
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61. Hello, Wisconsin!
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62. Oh, the plumber took apart the toilet upstairs,
so you'll have to use this one.
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63. - I know it's scary down here at night, but-
- She'll be fine. Let's go.
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64. Just when you come around that corner in
the dark, that coat rack can look like a bear.
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65. Finally...
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66. - we're alone.
- For the whole weekend.
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67. All right! Party time!
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68. I brought the Slip 'n Slide.
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69. Let's move the couch.
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70. Okay.
I'll get the hose.
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71. No, we don't need
the hose, man.
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72. We'll just use beer.
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73. - Kelso, are you nuts?
- You're right.
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74. We don't wanna waste the beer.
Go get the hose, man.
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75. No! Guys, we said, no party.
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76. Oh, come on, Forman. Look, man,
you gotta help me out here.
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77. Jackie and I are going
through a really rough time...
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78. and maybe, just maybe,
we can start to heal...
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79. if you can find it in your heart to
let me trash your girlfriend's house!
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80. Don't care.
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81. But it's party time, man.
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82. I invited a girl in a halter top
who was on her fifth beer.
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83. - Fifth beer! Halter top!
- Forget it, Kelso.
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84. But do you know what a Slip 'n Slide
can do to a halter top?
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85. It turns it into a belt.
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86. - Hello?
- Hello, is, uh, Mr. Forman there?
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87. No, I'm sorry. You just missed him.
Can I take a message?
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88. Yes. This is, uh, Fenton
from All That Glitters.
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89. Um, Mr. Forman bought a ring here,
and I'm calling to tell him it's ready.
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90. And, ah, oh, it looks fabulous.
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91. He bought me a ring?
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92. Oh, uh-
I, uh-
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93. I hope it wasn't a surprise.
Perhaps you shouldn't know that I called. Um-
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94. Uh, could you let Mr. Forman
know that I called. I mean, um-
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95. You shouldn't know that
he bought you- Oh!
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96. Now I've made a messy.
Okay.
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97. Okay, dinner is all ready.
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98. I just had to add
the secret ingredient-
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99. love.
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100. - By the way, "love" is salt.
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101. All right.
Chicken Pinciotti for two.
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102. Um, is this red stuff
gravy or blood?
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103. There's no gravy.
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104. Oh. Well, I guess
it's just kinda moist then.
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105. Actually, it's kinda pink.
Is this ham?
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106. No, it's Chicken Pinciotti.
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107. Mine looks fine.
Well, if you don't wanna eat yours...
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108. we have some Fruity Pebbles.
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109. No- No. Grown-ups don't eat Fruity Pebbles.
They eat chicken.
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110. What grown-ups?
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111. Where are these grown-ups?
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112. Donna, us.
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113. The whole point of this weekend
is to prove that we're grown up...
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114. and that Red doesn't know what he's
talking about when he says I'm immature.
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115. It is? I don't know.
I thought the point of this weekend...
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116. was to have, you know,
a fun, light weekend.
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117. Yeah. No, it will be fun and light.
It's just that in the next 36 hours...
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118. I would like to prove to myself that my father's
been wrong about me my entire life.
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119. But in a fun, light way.
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120. - Well, whatever. You don't have to eat the chicken.
- No! What? No.
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121. Are you kidding? I was kidding.
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122. I'm doing our grown up,
domestic squabbling thing, you know?
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123. It's like, I make fun of your cooking, you tell
me to put on pants when we have company.
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124. Are you gonna stop wearing your pants?
'Cause I might have a problem with that.
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125. See? Good, we're bickering
like husband and wife.
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126. What, you call this dinner?
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127. Hey, take my wife, please.
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128. That's delicious.
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129. Steven, just come in.
Your jacket looks fine.
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130. Mrs. Forman, I don't think
this jacket's really my style.
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131. Oh, nonsense.
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132. Ever since I've know you,
you've been nothing but flash and pizzazz.
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133. Oh, and look, it says "stuntman"
on the arm.
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134. People are gonna think
you're from Hollywood.
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135. - Excuse me.
- Yes? Oh. Mm-hmm.
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136. I was wondering if I might
look at that ring...
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137. you called Mr. Forman about
that he doesn't know I know about yet.
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138. Oh. I don't think I'm supposed
to show you, but-
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139. but I do a lot of things behind this counter
I'm not supposed to do.
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140. So, hmm.
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141. This is an engagement ring.
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142. An engagement ring?
Uh-oh.
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143. Why would Red give me
a diamond ring?
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144. Maybe it's a menopause diamond.
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145. You know, for a happy menopause.
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146. Oh, oh, it's engraved.
"To Donna."
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147. You're a lucky woman, Donna.
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148. I mean, Mr. Forman seems
a tad young for you...
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149. but, uh, men and women are doing
all sorts of things we never used to do, hmm?
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150. Oh, my goodness!
This is from Eric to-
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151. Eric and Donna are engaged?
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152. Well, if they are,
I'm learning it here for the first time.
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153. So, Mr. Stuntman.
Mm-hmm.
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154. Are you from Hollywood?
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155. I gotta tell ya, this "being grown up"
thing really seems to work for us.
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156. It's like we're already good
at being married.
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157. All we did was eat.
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158. Hey, a little secret
they don't tell ya?
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159. That's all marriage is.
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160. Forman, listen.
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161. I just got back
from the mall with your mom.
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162. Nice coat, Hyde.
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163. Burt Reynolds have a garage sale?
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164. Yeah, Hyde,
Donna and I are trying to be alone.
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165. We got no use
for a shiny, red stuntman.
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166. - Look, would you shut up and listen to me-
- No!
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167. Okay? This house is closed to parties, okay?
So just go away.
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168. Oh, and tell the cast of
Smokey and the Band/t that I said, "10-4."
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169. Fine. I'm gone, man.
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170. Don't you mean,
"I'm eastbound and down, good buddy"?
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171. What does a married couple do...
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172. after a delicious dinner
of Chicken Pinciotti?
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173. Well, we could make out
on the couch...
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174. but we're married, so maybe
we should just fight and go to bed.
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175. - Whoa.
- What's wrong?
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176. Whoa! Okay, I think
the Chicken Pinciotti wants to...
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177. - fly the coop.
- Oh.
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178. I'm gonna be upstairs
for a little bit.
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179. Uh, do you have any magazines
that I could-Whoa! Okay.
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180. I'm- I-I-I'll just read the shampoo.
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181. Well, wait. You can't-
You can't use the bathroom upstairs.
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182. You have to use the one off the den.
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183. Th- Right in there?
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184. Wh-While-While you're
right in here?
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185. I-I-I can't do that.
You might... sense something.
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186. I "might sense something"?
How much of a ruckus are you gonna make?
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187. Wh- I just- I can't go here, okay?
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188. And I can't go home because Red thinks
I'm over at Fez's. What-
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189. I'm a man without a country.
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190. Eric, you wanted to be
grown up. And-
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191. Well, this is something that grown-ups
do in the same house.
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192. No, I ju-You know what I was thinking?
I could build us another house, a separate house.
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193. Eric, you're talking
about an outhouse.
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194. Well, it's about time
those made a comeback!
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195. Eric and Donna can't be engaged.
They're too young.
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196. How does something like this happen?
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197. Well, Eric asked her to marry him...
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198. and instead of saying "ew,"
like a normal person...
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199. Donna said "yes."
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200. Well, I don't like
secret-keeping in my house.
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201. What else is going on
that I don't know about?
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202. Ooh.
There is something else.
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203. In the back left corner
of Forman's closet...
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204. he has stashed some highly
offensive photographic material.
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205. Well, this has gotta stop.
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206. Eric should have told me about
his engagement, because in this house...
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207. we do not keep secrets.
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208. What are you talkin' about?
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209. Cheesecake.
Different types of cheesecake.
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210. Oh.
Sorry I missed it.
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211. Don't judge me.
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212. Kelso, I need to use your bathroom.
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213. Nope.
There's nobody here.
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214. Of course, I can't see people who don't
have parties for their friends.
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215. So maybe there is somebody here,
and I just can't see 'em. I can't see you, Eric!
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216. Kelso, I really need
to use the bathroom.
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217. Well, maybe you should have
thought of that...
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218. before you kicked us out of Donna's house,
you party pooper.
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219. - Yeah.
- No party, no pooper!
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220. - Nice.
- Yeah, it really was. No party, no pooper!
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221. So then I said,
"No party, no pooper!"
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222. Because he wouldn't have a party.
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223. See, I think it's stupid
that Eric and Donna...
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224. need to practice being married.
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225. I mean, it's simple. The woman just
needs to be a cook in the kitchen...
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226. a maid in the living room,
and an acrobat in the bedroom.
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227. And I can hire a cook and a maid.
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228. I am liking you more and more.
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229. You know, I was thinkin'
about The Incred/ble Hulk.
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230. I like that show.
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231. Especially the part where he gets all,
like, mad and turns green...
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232. and then his shirt rips off.
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233. But then I was thinkin',
like what if he was purple?
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234. And a lady?
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235. Come on. Like an angry,
naked purple chick.
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236. That's better, right?
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237. What's go/n'on down here?
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238. Why doesn't anybody ever go home?
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239. And then I realized, that's why
they call it a clock radio.
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240. Cause it's got both!
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241. What are you doin' here?
I thought Eric was with you.
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242. Eric is always with me...
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243. in spirit.
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244. Don't pussyfoot around.
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245. I make three phone calls,
you're back on that raft you floated in on.
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246. - Eric is at Donna's.
- Fez!
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247. I fear the open sea.
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248. Kitty. You know what I
just found out about Eric?
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249. You found out?
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250. He lied to us.
He's spending the night at Donna's.
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251. Oh!
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252. What did you think it was?
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253. He has dirty magazines
in his closet.
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254. Our son is a pervert.
I'm just gonna go pray for him.
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255. Hurry up! Hurry up!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
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256. Well, speak of the idiot.
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257. - I gotta use the bathroom.
- What's a matter with the foreign kid's bathroom?
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258. That is where you were, isn't it?
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259. Yeah, of course. Wh-Why would I lie
to you about something like that?
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260. I need bacon.
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261. Okay, uh, the reason
I'd lie about something like that is-
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262. What happened? You piss Donna off,
and she locked you out?
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263. - Donna? No.
- Oh.
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264. Well, you pissed me off,
so I'm lockin' you out.
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265. - Did you find-
- Don't stop loving me!
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266. Well, look who's here.
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267. Oh, say, Eric.
The morning paper didn't come.
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268. So I thought that you
could tell me a story while I eat.
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269. I know how good you are
at making up stories.
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270. Why don't you tell me things?
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271. You can tell me things,
even bad things.
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272. A mother's love is like
a flower that never wilts.
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273. Unless it's lied to.
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274. If you're done reciting poetry,
I'd like to yell at the kid.
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275. Hey, Forman,
this is about to get ugly.
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276. So if you have to go potty,
now's a good time.
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277. I'm sorry. Okay, I shouldn't have
told you I was at Fez's.
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278. Do you ever think about
what you're doing with your life?
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279. Hey, Dad. It's my life, okay?
I'm grown up now.
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280. Grown up?
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281. Well, you sure say that a lot,
so it must be true. Let me try it.
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282. Hey, everybody.
I'm Mr. Rogers.
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283. But wait, I'm not wearing a sweater.
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284. And I'm about to kick your ass.
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285. Maybe it doesn't work.
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286. Maybe you're just an immature pissant
who still lies to his parents.
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287. You know what, Dad?
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288. Oh, my God. You're right.
Y- I have been lying...
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289. and acting immature,
and keeping secrets.
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290. And I swear to God,
I'm just as sick of it as you are.
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291. So, here's the truth.
Donna and I are engaged.
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292. I get his room.
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293. - You're engaged?
- Yeah.
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294. - I already gave her the ring.
- Kitty, are you hearing this?
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295. Yes, I am.
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296. And for the first time too.
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297. Well, it's true.
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298. So, if I'm gonna be ready
to be married, which I am...
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299. then I guess I should be ready
to tell you the truth.
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300. So, there it is.
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301. Wow. That felt great.
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302. I'm gonna go see my fiancé.
Wow, that felt great too.
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303. What a great day!
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304. Okay.
Okay, this is good.
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305. We're all being open here.
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306. Does anybody have anything else
they wanna get off their chest?
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307. Mrs. Forman, I hate my jacket.
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308. Oh, well, now we're just
trying to hurt each other.
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309. Okay, now.
Come on, Steven.
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310. Give it another chance.
Oh, it's snazzy!
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311. Hey, there. Hi, there.
Check out my outerwear.
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312. I'll just give this to Goodwill.
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313. And read the arm- "stuntman."
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314. People are gonna think
I'm from Hollywood.
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