1. Well,
here are my boys!
How was work?
Copy !req
2. Oh, you know, just another day
of restocking upper point place
with durable household goods.
Copy !req
3. Sleep soundly,
Wisconsin.
Copy !req
4. I got some big news
from the price mart home office.
Copy !req
5. Ooh! They finally
gonna let you physically
discipline the workers?
Copy !req
6. - No, but I still have
a free hand at home.
- Right.
Copy !req
7. Headquarters is having
every manager...
Copy !req
8. Make a departmental
training film.
Copy !req
9. And they picked me
for the stockroom.
Copy !req
10. Stockroom. Wow!
Yeah!
Copy !req
11. Steve from oshkosh
got ice and snow management.
Copy !req
12. Loser.
Copy !req
13. Well, red,
that is wonderful.
Copy !req
14. Yeah, I know.
Copy !req
15. Every single price mart
stock boy will be trained
in the red Forman way.
Copy !req
16. Oh, you mean,
undermining
their self-esteem...
Copy !req
17. Until they're too weak
to fight back?
Copy !req
18. If you would just
zip it for a second,
Copy !req
19. you might be interested
in hearing who I want
to play the stock boy.
Copy !req
20. Oh, look, dad,
I appreciate
the thought—
Copy !req
21. I'm gonna use this idiot!
Copy !req
22. All right!
Copy !req
23. Hello, Wisconsin!
Copy !req
24. Man, I guess my movie career
is getting started sooner
than I thought!
Copy !req
25. Kelso's
playing the stock boy?
Copy !req
26. This is my
favorite thing ever.
Copy !req
27. Well, Michael does have
marvelous bone structure.
Copy !req
28. Oh, but you will too, honey,
once you fill out.
Copy !req
29. Oh, man! Mom burn!
Copy !req
30. Yep. That's twice
the normal burn.
Copy !req
31. Dad, how can you
choose Kelso to play
the price mart stock boy?
Copy !req
32. You have a better suggestion?
Copy !req
33. Hello!
Copy !req
34. I am
a price mart stock boy.
Copy !req
35. I just came
from stocking.
Copy !req
36. At price mart.
Copy !req
37. And I am currently
wearing a price mart
stock boy smock.
Copy !req
38. Good point, Eric.
Copy !req
39. Give your smock to Kelso.
Copy !req
40. Oh, I don't think my broad,
photogenic shoulders are gonna
fit in that little thing.
Copy !req
41. Now, don't take this
personal, son.
Copy !req
42. You're just too...
Twitchy and skinny.
Copy !req
43. Well, you know,
the camera adds 10 pounds.
Copy !req
44. Yeah, 10.
Not 40.
Copy !req
45. How could he pick Kelso
to play the stock boy?
Copy !req
46. I'm the one with
the acting experience.
Remember?
Copy !req
47. I was mushroom number two
in Alice in wonderland.
Copy !req
48. But you were
mushroom number one
in my heart.
Copy !req
49. Hey.
Oh, hey. What's up?
Copy !req
50. We're going to lunch.
We're going to lunch?
Copy !req
51. Well, actually, honey,
we're going to lunch.
Copy !req
52. You and I
are going to lunch?
Copy !req
53. Well, no.
Copy !req
54. You and Donna and I
are going to lunch?
Copy !req
55. Well, almost, honey.
Copy !req
56. You and Donna
are going to lunch?
Copy !req
57. Nothing gets past you,
Einstein.
Copy !req
58. I don't think I like
the idea of you two
going out to lunch together.
Copy !req
59. Well, what if we
bring you back
a sandwich?
Copy !req
60. Well, a sandwich
isn't gonna make me
feel better, mom.
Copy !req
61. Okay, then.
We're leaving.
Copy !req
62. Well, in that case,
I would like a sandwich.
Copy !req
63. Yeah,
I don't like this day.
Copy !req
64. Hey, dudes.
Copy !req
65. Hey, Leo, man,
huggy bear called.
Copy !req
66. He wants his suit back.
Copy !req
67. Huggy bear?
Copy !req
68. This is my suit, man.
Copy !req
69. So, to what do we owe
the fancy pants?
Copy !req
70. Great news, man!
Copy !req
71. I inherited
a million bucks
from my dead uncle!
Copy !req
72. Shut up.
No way.
Copy !req
73. It's true! So, come on!
Let's share the wealth!
Copy !req
74. Come on. I'll buy you
anything you want.
Copy !req
75. Does that include burgers
and nudie mags?
Copy !req
76. Include?
That's half the budget, man.
Copy !req
77. Eric,
have you seen Donna?
Copy !req
78. She was supposed to help me
sort out my daytime cosmetics
from my nighttime cosmetics,
Copy !req
79. but she never showed up.
Copy !req
80. Oh, you haven't heard?
Copy !req
81. Donna's got a new friend,
Copy !req
82. and I, for one,
think it's time you met her.
Copy !req
83. Donna!
What are you doing?
Copy !req
84. We invented
a new cookie.
Copy !req
85. It's a variation
of the snickerdoodle.
Copy !req
86. We're calling it
the "donnakitty."
Copy !req
87. Or the "ditty."
Copy !req
88. We haven't decided.
Copy !req
89. Donna, you're supposed
to be sorting—
as in, my cosmetics.
Copy !req
90. Oh, yeah.
I'm real sorry I missed that.
Copy !req
91. It started as an annoying,
but innocent lunch.
Copy !req
92. And now they're
inventing cookies.
Copy !req
93. It's growing, man.
Copy !req
94. It's the freakin' blob.
Copy !req
95. Donna, why do you
need a new friend?
Copy !req
96. Haven't I always
been there for you?
Copy !req
97. Uh, no.
Copy !req
98. I hope
your cookies burn!
Copy !req
99. Eric, old people
and young people...
Copy !req
100. Are not supposed to
spend time together.
Copy !req
101. It's unnatural.
Copy !req
102. What am I
supposed to do about it?
Copy !req
103. Well, you better
do something.
Copy !req
104. You know what girls talk about
when they get together.
Copy !req
105. Um, sugar and spice
and everything nice?
Copy !req
106. That's what we're made of,
you dumb-ass.
Copy !req
107. They talk about men,
and that would be you.
Copy !req
108. Well, barely.
Copy !req
109. You know, you could
really use a refill
on the "everything nice."
Copy !req
110. You know, I wasn't that worried
about Donna and my mom
talking about me,
Copy !req
111. but now
that I'm all paranoid,
Copy !req
112. I'm all, like,
Copy !req
113. paranoid.
Copy !req
114. I mean, when did it become okay
for them to be friends?
Copy !req
115. Right after your father
replaced you with
a semi-literate pretty boy.
Copy !req
116. That's me.
Copy !req
117. So, I've been thinking
about great actors
to model myself after,
Copy !req
118. and I choose Travolta.
Copy !req
119. Kelso,
Copy !req
120. I can think of no better way
to impress red...
Copy !req
121. Than by acting like Travolta
in his industrial film.
Copy !req
122. Bravo, man.
Copy !req
123. That is good advice.
Copy !req
124. Man, I don't want Donna
and my mom talking about me.
Copy !req
125. Yeah,
and Donna's a big mouth.
Copy !req
126. Like, she told me
how you wore makeup
to last year's class picture.
Copy !req
127. What?
Copy !req
128. I did not!
I did not.
Copy !req
129. I had a zit.
Stop looking at me.
Copy !req
130. Forman, you and I are both
victims of parental abandonment.
Copy !req
131. Luckily, I have
a rich hippie benefactor.
Copy !req
132. He bought me nudie mags
I'd never even heard of.
Copy !req
133. Yeah, I'll stock this shelf!
Copy !req
134. But someday I'm gonna dance
across this whole city.
Copy !req
135. That's dead-on.
Copy !req
136. Okay, we need to talk.
Copy !req
137. It's about, shall we say,
your new crowd.
Copy !req
138. And don't even pretend
you and Donna
aren't talking about me.
Copy !req
139. I know what's going on here,
and it goes a little
something like this—
Copy !req
140. Oh, honey, you look wonderful.
Copy !req
141. Say, can we look at Eric's
naked baby pictures again?
Copy !req
142. They're right here!
Copy !req
143. My, you could tell even then
he'd always be small.
Copy !req
144. Yeah, he really is tiny.
Copy !req
145. It's not satisfying.
Copy !req
146. Well, how could it be, dear?
Copy !req
147. But at least he's nice.
Copy !req
148. Yeah, he's nice.
Copy !req
149. For a Nancy boy!
Copy !req
150. So, what do you say
to that?
Copy !req
151. All right, Kelso.
You'll just go through a few
typical stock boy tasks...
Copy !req
152. While I firmly, but kindly,
oversee you.
Copy !req
153. Got it.
All right.
Let's get started.
Copy !req
154. Kelso,
Copy !req
155. what the hell
are you doing?
Copy !req
156. Oh, see, I'm going
for a Travolta thing.
Copy !req
157. Okay, my character's
actually a dancer...
Copy !req
158. Who's just stocking shelves
until he makes it big.
Copy !req
159. All right. Let me
paint a picture for you.
Copy !req
160. Just close your eyes.
Copy !req
161. Okay, imagine
with your eyes open.
Copy !req
162. Just come with me.
Copy !req
163. Just stack the cans,
moron.
Copy !req
164. But why
am I stacking cans?
Copy !req
165. See, I'm thinking that
the manager is a bad guy.
Copy !req
166. So, why would I
stack cans for him?
Copy !req
167. Because if you don't
stack the cans,
Copy !req
168. the manager
is going to kill you.
Copy !req
169. Oh! So I'm afraid
for my life!
Copy !req
170. That works.
All right. Let's act!
Copy !req
171. Oh, no.
You're all alone.
Copy !req
172. Where's your little buddy,
skipper?
Copy !req
173. Okay, sweetie.
Copy !req
174. My friendship with Donna
is making you uncomfortable,
so I'm gonna call it off.
Copy !req
175. Really?
Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
176. Well, thank you.
Copy !req
177. Maybe some of your loyalty
will rub off on dad.
Copy !req
178. Oh, don't let that
bother you.
Copy !req
179. Michael may have
movie-star good looks,
Copy !req
180. but you are
much, much smarter
than he is.
Copy !req
181. Okay, why couldn't you
have said that
in front of everyone...
Copy !req
182. Instead of how great
Kelso's bone structure is?
Copy !req
183. I don't want to
make anybody feel bad.
Copy !req
184. Well, good job.
Copy !req
185. All right, guys.
Let's shop!
Copy !req
186. Thanks again, Leo.
Copy !req
187. Yes, thank you.
Copy !req
188. You know what would
make this outfit perfect?
Copy !req
189. A cockatoo.
Copy !req
190. Then we'll get a cockatoo.
Copy !req
191. Or three!
Copy !req
192. Hey, red, listen, I've got
this great new idea I want to
lay on you about our movie.
Copy !req
193. Dad,
I've heard this idea,
Copy !req
194. and speaking as
an unbiased observer
with no score to settle,
Copy !req
195. it is great.
Copy !req
196. Go!
Copy !req
197. Kelso, you don't
get to have ideas.
Copy !req
198. Dad, if I could
just interject.
Copy !req
199. This idea
will literally change
industrial filmdom forever.
Copy !req
200. Go get 'em, Kelso!
Go!
Copy !req
201. Okay. The stock boy
has a love interest.
Copy !req
202. No.
Copy !req
203. Now, before you say no,
I've already found
the perfect person.
Copy !req
204. Oh, stock boy,
I love you!
Copy !req
205. No. Get out.
Copy !req
206. Okay, um,
Eric's uncomfortable...
Copy !req
207. Because he thinks
we talk about him—
which we don't.
Copy !req
208. Although that story
about him wearing makeup to
his class pictures was a hoot.
Copy !req
209. But I guess
what I'm saying is, um,
Copy !req
210. we probably shouldn't
see each other anymore.
Copy !req
211. But it's been so nice
having someone to talk to
since my mom left.
Copy !req
212. I know.
Copy !req
213. Someone who understands
what I'm going through.
Copy !req
214. Oh, honey.
Copy !req
215. Someone to make
banana bread with.
Copy !req
216. I ate that for dinner
three nights in a row.
Copy !req
217. Oh, you poor, sweet girl.
Copy !req
218. What the hell?
Copy !req
219. Boy, being a millionaire
is great.
Copy !req
220. Well, at least
you put the money
to good use.
Copy !req
221. Fun tart?
Copy !req
222. Don't mind if I do.
Copy !req
223. Candy button?
Copy !req
224. I've got
a million of them.
Copy !req
225. So, Leo, man,
tell us about your uncle ed.
Copy !req
226. Why'd he leave you
all his money?
Copy !req
227. Check it out, man.
It's all in this letter
he sent me.
Copy !req
228. Your uncle ed is ed McMahon?
Copy !req
229. Yeah.
Copy !req
230. Who knew
I was Scottish?
Copy !req
231. Uh-oh.
Copy !req
232. Damn, Leo, you didn't
inherit a million dollars.
Copy !req
233. That's a sweepstakes contest.
Copy !req
234. Well, then
who has my money?
Copy !req
235. There is no money,
you son of a bitch!
Copy !req
236. Oh.
Copy !req
237. Wow.
I guess all this stuff
has to go back.
Copy !req
238. Oh, that means you too,
feathery frank.
Copy !req
239. Good day.
But, Fez—
Copy !req
240. I said, good day.
Copy !req
241. I'm leaving Brooklyn,
mister formanelli.
Copy !req
242. And when I get to Manhattan,
I'm gonna be a star.
Copy !req
243. So, what do you think?
Copy !req
244. You're fired.
Copy !req
245. You.
Copy !req
246. Price mart is only as strong
as its weakest stock boy.
Copy !req
247. Just look at what
one well-trained worker
can accomplish.
Copy !req
248. Neat, efficient, organized.
Copy !req
249. The price mart way.
Copy !req
250. And each job completed
with that award-winning
price mart attitude.
Copy !req
251. Remember, you can't spell
stock boy without "oh, boy!"
Copy !req
252. Perfect.
Copy !req
253. Well, who would
have thought a stock boy
would do a good job...
Copy !req
254. Playing a stock boy?
Copy !req
255. Yeah, I mean,
it's a topsy-turvy world.
Copy !req
256. Yeah.
You did a good job.
Copy !req
257. Wait a minute.
Are you proud of me?
Copy !req
258. No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't say that.
Copy !req
259. So,
Copy !req
260. do we hug now?
Copy !req
261. Men don't hug.
Copy !req
262. My daddy loves me!
Copy !req
263. Shut it!
I love you too, daddy!
Copy !req
264. Oh, well,
look who's here.
Copy !req
265. Do a little shopping,
ladies?
Copy !req
266. Well, it's not like
I can take my dad shopping.
Copy !req
267. I mean, every time
the sales lady
brings over some underwear,
Copy !req
268. he gets embarrassed
and goes, "whoo-hoo!"
Copy !req
269. So, I suppose you
have something snarky
to say about that.
Copy !req
270. You know what?
Copy !req
271. I don't.
Copy !req
272. - Really?
- No.
Copy !req
273. Look, your mom...
Copy !req
274. Can't take you shopping,
so,
Copy !req
275. it's cool with me
if you guys want to hang out.
Copy !req
276. Honey, I am so glad
you understand.
Copy !req
277. - Yeah, Eric, thanks.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
278. Yeah, just, look,
please,
Copy !req
279. no talking about me, okay?
Copy !req
280. And no looking at
my naked baby pictures either.
Copy !req
281. They're... misleading.
Copy !req
282. Honey, I've already
seen you naked.
Copy !req
283. Mom.
Copy !req
284. Oh, and she's
already seen you naked!
Copy !req
285. You know what? From now on,
that's all we should talk about.
Copy !req
286. Okay. Leaving now.
Copy !req
287. Okay, here he is
on the potty.
Copy !req
288. Look how hard
he's concentrating.
Copy !req
289. Oh, I have
some earlier ones.
Copy !req
290. Look at that baby.
Copy !req
291. Didn't he have
the cutest little behind?
Copy !req
292. Yeah!
Copy !req
293. So when
did he lose it?
Copy !req
294. Right around
when he turned 10.
Copy !req
295. It was the strangest thing.
Poof.
Copy !req
296. Like someone ironed him.
Copy !req