1. Well, here are my boys!
How was work?
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2. Oh, you know, just another day of restocking
upper Point Place with durable household goods.
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3. Sleep soundly,
Wisconsin.
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4. I got some big news
from the Price Mart home office.
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5. Ooh! They finally gonna let you
physically discipline the workers?
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6. - No, but I still have a free hand at home.
- Right.
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7. Headquarters is having
every manager...
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8. make a departmental
training film.
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9. And they picked me
for the stockroom.
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10. - Stockroom. Wow!
- Yeah!
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11. Steve from Oshkosh
got ice and snow management.
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12. Loser.
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13. Well, Red,
that is wonderful.
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14. Yeah, I know.
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15. Every single Price Mart stock boy
will be trained in the Red Forman way.
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16. Oh, you mean, undermining
their self-esteem...
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17. until they're too weak
to fight back?
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18. If you would just
zip it for a second...
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19. you might be interested in hearing
who I want to play the stock boy.
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20. Oh, look, Dad,
I appreciate the thought...
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21. I'm gonna use this idiot!
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22. All right!
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23. Man, I guess my movie career
is getting started sooner than I thought!
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24. Kelso's playing the stock boy?
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25. This is my
favorite thing ever.
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26. Well, Michael does have
marvelous bone structure.
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27. Oh, but you will too, honey,
once you fill out.
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28. Oh, man! Mom burn!
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29. Yep. That's twice
the normal burn.
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30. Dad, how can you choose Kelso
to play the Price Mart stock boy?
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31. You have a better suggestion?
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32. Hello!
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33. I am
a Price Mart stock boy.
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34. I just came
from stocking.
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35. At Price Mart.
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36. And I am currently wearing
a Price Mart stock boy smock.
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37. Good point, Eric.
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38. Give your smock to Kelso.
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39. Oh, I don't think my broad, photogenic
shoulders are gonna fit in that little thing.
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40. Now, don't take this
personal, Son.
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41. You're just too...
twitchy and skinny.
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42. Well, you know,
the camera adds 10 pounds.
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43. Yeah, 10.
Not 40.
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44. How could he pick Kelso
to play the stock boy?
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45. I'm the one with the
acting experience. Remember?
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46. I was Mushroom Number Two
in Alice in Wonderland.
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47. But you were
Mushroom Number One in my heart.
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48. - Hey.
- Oh, hey. What's up?
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49. - We're going to lunch.
- We're going to lunch?
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50. Well, actually, honey,
we're going to lunch.
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51. You and I
are going to lunch?
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52. Well, no.
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53. You and Donna and I
are going to lunch?
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54. Well, almost, honey.
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55. You and Donna are going to lunch?
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56. Nothing gets past you,
Einstein.
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57. I don't think I like the idea of you two
going out to lunch together.
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58. Well, what if we bring
you back a sandwich?
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59. Well, a sandwich isn't gonna
make me feel better, Mom.
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60. Okay, then.
We're leaving.
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61. Well, in that case,
I would like a sandwich.
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62. Yeah,
I don't like this day.
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63. Hey, dudes.
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64. Hey, Leo, man,
Huggy Bear called.
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65. He wants his suit back.
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66. Huggy Bear?
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67. This is my suit, man.
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68. So, to what do we owe
the fancy pants?
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69. Great news, man!
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70. I inherited a million bucks
from my dead uncle!
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71. - Shut up.
- No way.
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72. It's true! So, come on!
Let's share the wealth!
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73. Come on. I'll buy you
anything you want.
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74. Does that include burgers
and nudie mags?
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75. Include?
That's half the budget, man.
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76. Eric, have you seen Donna?
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77. She was supposed to help me sort out my
daytime cosmetics from my nighttime cosmetics...
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78. but she never showed up.
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79. Oh, you haven't heard?
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80. Donna's got a new friend...
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81. and I, for one,
think it's time you met her.
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82. Donna!
What are you doing?
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83. We invented
a new cookie.
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84. It's a variation
of the snickerdoodle.
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85. We're calling it
the "DonnaKitty."
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86. Or the "Ditty."
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87. We haven't decided.
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88. Donna, you're supposed to be sorting...
as in, my cosmetics.
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89. Oh, yeah.
I'm real sorry I missed that.
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90. It started as an annoying,
but innocent lunch.
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91. And now they're
inventing cookies.
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92. It's growing, man.
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93. It's the freakin' Blob.
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94. Donna, why do you
need a new friend?
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95. Haven't I always
been there for you?
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96. Uh, no.
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97. I hope
your cookies burn!
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98. Eric, old people
and young people...
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99. are not supposed to
spend time together.
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100. It's unnatural.
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101. What am I
supposed to do about it?
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102. Well, you better
do something.
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103. You know what girls talk about
when they get together.
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104. Um, sugar and spice
and everything nice?
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105. That's what we're made of,
you dumb-ass.
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106. They talk about men,
and that would be you.
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107. Well, barely.
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108. You know, you could really use a refill
on the "everything nice."
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109. You know, I wasn't that worried
about Donna and my mom talking about me...
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110. but now
that I'm all paranoid...
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111. I'm all, like...
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112. paranoid.
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113. I mean, when did it become okay
for them to be friends?
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114. Right after your father replaced you
with a semi-literate pretty boy.
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115. That's me.
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116. So, I've been thinking about great actors
to model myself after...
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117. and I choose Travolta.
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118. Kelso...
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119. I can think of no better way
to impress Red...
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120. than by acting like Travolta
in his industrial film.
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121. Bravo, man.
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122. That is good advice.
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123. Man, I don't want Donna
and my mom talking about me.
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124. Yeah,
and Donna's a big mouth.
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125. Like, she told me how you wore makeup
to last year's class picture.
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126. What?
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127. I did not!
I did not.
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128. I had a zit.
Stop looking at me.
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129. Forman, you and I are both
victims of parental abandonment.
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130. Luckily, I have
a rich hippie benefactor.
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131. He bought me nudie mags
I'd never even heard of.
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132. Yeah, I'll stock this shelf!
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133. But someday I'm gonna dance
across this whole city.
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134. That's dead-on.
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135. Okay, we need to talk.
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136. It's about, shall we say,
your new crowd.
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137. And don't even pretend you and Donna
aren't talking about me.
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138. I know what's going on here,
and it goes a little something like this...
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139. Oh, honey, you look wonderful.
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140. Say, can we look at Eric's
naked baby pictures again?
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141. They're right here!
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142. My, you could tell even then
he'd always be small.
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143. Yeah, he really is tiny.
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144. It's not satisfying.
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145. Well, how could it be, dear?
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146. But at least he's nice.
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147. Yeah, he's nice.
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148. For a nancy boy!
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149. So, what do you say
to that?
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150. All right, Kelso. You'll just go through
a few typical stock boy tasks...
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151. while I firmly, but kindly,
oversee you.
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152. - Got it.
- All right. Let's get started.
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153. Kelso...
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154. what the hell
are you doing?
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155. Oh, see, I'm going
for a Travolta thing.
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156. Okay, my character's
actually a dancer...
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157. who's just stocking shelves
until he makes it big.
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158. All right. Let me
paint a picture for you.
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159. Just close your eyes.
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160. Okay, imagine
with your eyes open.
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161. Just come with me.
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162. Just stack the cans,
moron.
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163. But why
am I stacking cans?
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164. See, I'm thinking that
the manager is a bad guy.
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165. So, why would I
stack cans for him?
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166. Because if you don't
stack the cans...
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167. the manager
is going to kill you.
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168. Oh! So I'm afraid
for my life!
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169. That works.
All right. Let's act!
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170. Oh, no.
You're all alone.
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171. Where's your little buddy,
Skipper?
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172. Okay, sweetie.
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173. My friendship with Donna is making you
uncomfortable, so I'm gonna call it off.
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174. - Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
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175. Well, thank you.
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176. Maybe some of your loyalty
will rub off on Dad.
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177. Oh, don't let that
bother you.
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178. Michael may have
movie-star good looks...
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179. but you are much,
much smarter than he is.
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180. Okay, why couldn't you have
said that in front of everyone...
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181. instead of how great
Kelso's bone structure is?
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182. I don't want to
make anybody feel bad.
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183. Well, good job.
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184. All right, guys.
Let's shop!
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185. Thanks again, Leo.
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186. Yes, thank you.
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187. You know what would
make this outfit perfect?
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188. A cockatoo.
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189. Then we'll get a cockatoo.
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190. Or three!
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191. Hey, Red, listen, I've got this great new
idea I want to lay on you about our movie.
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192. Dad, I've heard this idea...
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193. and speaking as an unbiased observer
with no score to settle...
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194. it is great.
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195. Go!
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196. Kelso, you don't
get to have ideas.
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197. Dad, if I could
just interject.
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198. This idea will literally change
industrial filmdom forever.
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199. Go get 'em, Kelso!
Go!
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200. Okay. The stock boy
has a love interest.
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201. No.
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202. Now, before you say no,
I've already found the perfect person.
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203. Oh, stock boy,
I love you!
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204. No. Get out.
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205. Okay, um,
Eric's uncomfortable...
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206. because he thinks we talk about him...
which we don't.
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207. Although that story about him wearing
makeup to his class pictures was a hoot.
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208. But I guess
what I'm saying is, um...
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209. we probably shouldn't
see each other anymore.
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210. But it's been so nice having someone
to talk to since my mom left.
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211. I know.
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212. Someone who understands
what I'm going through.
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213. Oh, honey.
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214. Someone to make
banana bread with.
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215. I ate that for dinner
three nights in a row.
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216. Oh, you poor, sweet girl.
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217. What the hell?
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218. Boy, being a millionaire
is great.
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219. Well, at least you put the money
to good use.
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220. Fun Tart?
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221. Don't mind if I do.
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222. Candy button?
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223. I've got
a million of them.
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224. So, Leo, man,
tell us about your Uncle Ed.
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225. Why'd he leave you
all his money?
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226. Check it out, man.
It's all in this letter he sent me.
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227. Your Uncle Ed is Ed McMahon?
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228. Yeah.
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229. Who knew
I was Scottish?
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230. Uh-oh.
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231. Damn, Leo, you didn't
inherit a million dollars.
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232. That's a sweepstakes contest.
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233. Well, then
who has my money?
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234. There is no money,
you son of a bitch!
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235. Oh.
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236. Wow. I guess all this stuff
has to go back.
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237. Oh, that means you too,
Feathery Frank.
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238. - Good day.
- But, Fez...
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239. I said, good day.
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240. I'm leaving Brooklyn, Mister Formanelli.
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241. And when I get to Manhattan,
I'm gonna be a star.
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242. So, what do you think?
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243. You're fired.
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244. You.
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245. Price Mart is only
as strong as its weakest stock boy.
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246. Just look at what one
well-trained worker can accomplish.
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247. Neat, efficient, organized.
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248. The Price Mart way.
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249. And each job completed with that
award-winning Price Mart attitude.
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250. Remember, you can't spell
stock boy without "Oh, boy!"
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251. Perfect.
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252. Well, who would have thought
a stock boy would do a good job...
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253. playing a stock boy?
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254. Yeah, I mean,
it's a topsy-turvy world.
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255. Yeah.
You did a good job.
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256. Wait a minute.
Are you proud of me?
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257. No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't say that.
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258. So...
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259. do we hug now?
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260. Men don't hug.
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261. My daddy loves me!
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262. - Shut it!
- I love you too, Daddy!
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263. Oh, well,
look who's here.
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264. Do a little shopping, ladies?
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265. Well, it's not like
I can take my dad shopping.
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266. I mean, every time the sales lady
brings over some underwear...
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267. he gets embarrassed
and goes, "Whoo-hoo!"
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268. So, I suppose you have
something snarky to say about that.
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269. You know what?
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270. I don't.
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271. - Really?
- No.
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272. Look, your mom...
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273. can't take you shopping, so...
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274. it's cool with me
if you guys want to hang out.
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275. Honey, I am so glad
you understand.
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276. - Yeah, Eric, thanks.
- Yeah.
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277. Yeah, just, look, please...
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278. no talking about me, okay?
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279. And no looking at
my naked baby pictures either.
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280. They're... misleading.
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281. Honey, I've already
seen you naked.
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282. Mom.
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283. Oh, and she's
already seen you naked!
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284. You know what? From now on,
that's all we should talk about.
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285. Okay. Leaving now.
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286. Okay, here he is
on the potty.
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287. Look how hard
he's concentrating.
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288. Oh, I have
some earlier ones.
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289. Look at that baby.
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290. Didn't he have
the cutest little behind?
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291. Yeah!
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292. So when did he lose it?
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293. Right around
when he turned 10.
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294. It was the strangest thing.
Poof.
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295. Like someone ironed him.
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