1. Okay, my friends. Invitations to see Fez
in tonight's Spring Sing...Copy !req
2. charmingly illustrated
by the hand of Fez.Copy !req
3. Great, something
to put my gum in.Copy !req
4. Just kidding.Copy !req
5. Oh, man, this
concert's tonight?Copy !req
6. Yes, it's tonight. I've been
talking about it for weeks!Copy !req
7. - Don't you listen to me?
- Fez, I don't know what you're getting so upset about.Copy !req
8. - You know we don't listen to you.
- Yeah, I don't know, Fez.Copy !req
9. I mean, I'm still kind of tired
from the party last night.Copy !req
10. Party? What party?Copy !req
11. You know, the party.
You were there.Copy !req
12. No, I do not know,
and I was not there.Copy !req
13. - Someone forgot to tell me.
- Wait, are you sure?Copy !req
14. 'Cause I could have sworn
you were there.Copy !req
15. Remember when the college girl got up
on the table and took her top off?Copy !req
16. - What?
- Yeah, that was great, man.Copy !req
17. Wait, even Smokey
the Bear was there?Copy !req
18. Fine. Fine,
what's done is done.Copy !req
19. The important thing is where you're going
to be tonight... at my concert watching me.Copy !req
20. Oh, it's gonna be
such a wonderful evening.Copy !req
21. Music, good friends and dancing.Copy !req
22. Just like life...
should be.Copy !req
23. This is my favorite part.Copy !req
24. So, what do you think?Copy !req
25. I think whatever you're on,
I'll take two of 'em.Copy !req
26. Perfecto.Copy !req
27. Oh, Fez, was that you?Copy !req
28. I could have sworn
I just heard Wayne Newton.Copy !req
29. Mr. And Mrs. Forman!
You came to my concert!Copy !req
30. Well, it's the Spring Sing.Copy !req
31. There is no place we'd
rather be than the Spring Sing.Copy !req
32. Now, Kitty,
that's just a lie.Copy !req
33. Ay, here comes my music teacher,
Mr. Wilkinson.Copy !req
34. He is unpleasant.Copy !req
35. Are you the parents of
this horrible little man?Copy !req
36. I'll have you know, he's been
imitating my accent behind my back.Copy !req
37. Well, first of all,
we are not his parents...Copy !req
38. and second of all...Copy !req
39. Well, the rest of it,
I just don't care about.Copy !req
40. I'm moving you
to the back row...Copy !req
41. so that no one can hear that squawk box
that you call a voice.Copy !req
42. The back row? But the back row is for
the untalented and the ugly!Copy !req
43. - Ay, you are no fun.
- Music is not about fun.Copy !req
44. It's about passion
and commitment.Copy !req
45. Have you ever been moved to tears
by the warbling timbre of your own voice?Copy !req
46. No, because I am a man.Copy !req
47. Well, he just, um...Copy !req
48. He doesn't seem
to like you at all.Copy !req
49. The British have
always hated my people.Copy !req
50. We won the war, buddy.
Get over it!Copy !req
51. Oh, good one, Fez.Copy !req
52. Well, you certainly
seem in high spirits.Copy !req
53. Of course.
Soon all of my friends are gonna be here...Copy !req
54. and we'll be
all like a family.Copy !req
55. I wish you
were my family.Copy !req
56. Oh, we would be
so happy together.Copy !req
57. Okay, kids,
it's nighty-night time.Copy !req
58. - Good night, Mom.
- Night, Ma.Copy !req
59. That's my mama!Copy !req
60. I love you, Fez.Copy !req
61. I love you more!Copy !req
62. I love you the most!Copy !req
63. Daddy!Copy !req
64. All right.
Sleep tight.Copy !req
65. And don't let the bed bugs
put their foot in your ass.Copy !req
66. Okay, boys, lights out!Copy !req
67. And no more staying up till 8:30
giving each other hugs!Copy !req
68. See you in the morning.Copy !req
69. - Are you people singing again?
- Yes?Copy !req
70. Good, 'cause...Copy !req
71. Well, that was...Copy !req
72. detailed.Copy !req
73. You are one fruity kid.Copy !req
74. Now, remember...Copy !req
75. singing is all about
the use of the diaphragm.Copy !req
76. And what's so funny about
the proper use of the diaphragm?Copy !req
77. It's the muscle
you breathe with.Copy !req
78. Below your bosom!Copy !req
79. Oh! Bloody imbeciles.Copy !req
80. So, this must be a very
exciting night for you.Copy !req
81. Yes, yes.
If the mayor likes what he sees...Copy !req
82. I'll be directing this year's
Dairy Days Dance-abration.Copy !req
83. Oh, that is
always wonderful.Copy !req
84. One time, they had
a quartet dressed as cows...Copy !req
85. and they sang
"Blue Moo-oo-oon."Copy !req
86. 'Cause they were cows!Copy !req
87. Yes, I'm sure you thick-headed Americans
could hardly contain your grunts.Copy !req
88. Well, I thought
it was delightful.Copy !req
89. Hey, everybody!Copy !req
90. Bob! Hey, I saved seats
for you and the gang.Copy !req
91. - Oh, I don't think they're coming.
- Of course they are.Copy !req
92. Well, you know, I asked if they
needed a ride, but they said, "No."Copy !req
93. When I left, they were just
sittin' in the basement, laughin'.Copy !req
94. But the show's
about to start.Copy !req
95. Ooh! Then I better get
to the refreshment table.Copy !req
96. Did you know that all
that stuff was free?Copy !req
97. It says donations accepted,
but you don't gotta put nothin' in.Copy !req
98. My friends are still
in the basement?Copy !req
99. - I wonder what they're doing.
- Oh, I'm sure they're just...Copy !req
100. Miss Kitty, please!
I'm trying to wonder.Copy !req
101. Ooh, guys. Fez's concert
is about to start...Copy !req
102. Which means we have
three more hours without his sorry ass!Copy !req
103. Let's eat his candy!Copy !req
104. Yeah.
My name is Fez.Copy !req
105. I love candy. Whore!
Good day. I said, good day!Copy !req
106. Yeah, and the best part is,
that idiot actually thinks I'm his friend.Copy !req
107. Like I care.
I wish he were dead.Copy !req
108. Oh, hey,
we should kill him!Copy !req
109. No, I got a better idea.
Let's sing without him!Copy !req
110. Yeah!Copy !req
111. So, they would rather make
fun of me than come here.Copy !req
112. Well, honey, you know,
at least they're singing...Copy !req
113. like you'll be doin'
real soon.Copy !req
114. Is there a bar here?Copy !req
115. You know, last night they went
to a party without me...Copy !req
116. a topless party.Copy !req
117. - What?
- Where?Copy !req
118. They were the first people to be nice
to me when I came to America...Copy !req
119. but maybe I am
not their friend.Copy !req
120. Maybe I am just
a goofy foreign kid.Copy !req
121. Well, can't you be both?Copy !req
122. I would settle for friend,
but I don't even think I am that.Copy !req
123. Well, you still got "goofy foreign kid."
That's something.Copy !req
124. Well, the butts
are in the seats...Copy !req
125. but not one butt
is the butt of a friend.Copy !req
126. Well, this is just rude.Copy !req
127. They better have run out of gas or hit
a deer or something.Copy !req
128. Okay, places everyone!
Let's show them what we've got.Copy !req
129. Teeth and cleavage!
Teeth and cleavage!Copy !req
130. Well, that does it!
Now I am mad!Copy !req
131. All they care about is themselves
and their stupid, messed-up relationships.Copy !req
132. Boo-hoo! Love hurts!
Well they deserve it!Copy !req
133. Aw, geez, not another one.Copy !req
134. Do we really have to go
see that foreign boy sing?Copy !req
135. I'm not going.Copy !req
136. I'm in too much pain
from our breakup.Copy !req
137. Even though it was months ago,
it still affects every part of my life.Copy !req
138. Me, me, me!Copy !req
139. No! Me, me, me!Copy !req
140. Wait. What about
me, me, me?Copy !req
141. - Me! - Me!
- Me!Copy !req
142. Me!Copy !req
143. Wow, I just caught the end,
but that was nice.Copy !req
144. - Leo, you made it.
- What, this?Copy !req
145. No, I got this
at a church sale.Copy !req
146. Hey, where's that dude...Copy !req
147. and that other dude,
and that girl...Copy !req
148. and that dude,
and the other girl?Copy !req
149. They're not here.
It's just me alone... always alone.Copy !req
150. Aw, forget it.
I'm going home!Copy !req
151. Hi, Fez!Copy !req
152. Where the hell
have you been?Copy !req
153. Well, we were on our way here when we
passed by your music teacher's house.Copy !req
154. And I said, "Fez hates that guy.
Let's toilet-paper it!" So...Copy !req
155. So we did!Copy !req
156. - For me?
- Yeah, and then we had to go get some dog poop...Copy !req
157. 'cause we looked at his porch and realized,
"Hey, Not enough dog poop."Copy !req
158. There's enough
dog poop now.Copy !req
159. And we got you
an opening-night present.Copy !req
160. Congratulations, buddy!Copy !req
161. Bloody hell,
is that my mailbox?Copy !req
162. Bloody 'ell, is that me mailbox?Copy !req
163. - That's dead on!
- Yes, I'm sure you'll all remember this fondly...Copy !req
164. as you rot
in your Barcaloungers...Copy !req
165. cheeseburgers clenched
in your fat American fists!Copy !req
166. You got that right, buddy!Copy !req
167. Aw. Look who has
so many friends!Copy !req
168. Don't ever leave him
alone with us again.Copy !req
169. I'm so glad you came. Tonight wouldn't
mean anything without you guys.Copy !req
170. Aw, Fez,
we wouldn't miss it.Copy !req
171. I mean...Copy !req
172. Boy, do I know how
to shake it.Copy !req
173. Imbecile, you're on!Copy !req
174. Well, that's my cue!Copy !req
175. This is just like A Star Is Born,
and I am Barbra Streisand.Copy !req
176. Love me!Copy !req
177. I'm so happy to be back home
with my friends.Copy !req
178. No, nobody calls you that.Copy !req
179. And if anyone's
the space cowboy, it's me.Copy !req
180. What?
In your dreams, Forman.Copy !req
181. I am widely acknowledged
as the space cowboy of this group.Copy !req
182. And I also call
"midnight toker."Copy !req
183. Wow. This cheeseburger
is bloody brilliant.Copy !req
184. Dude, come here.Copy !req
185. Good, 'cause...Copy !req
186. Cut!Copy !req
187. - You had it!
- That was your best one!Copy !req
188. Cut!Copy !req