1. Hey, Mrs. Forman.
Hey, red.
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2. Hello, boys. You're up
bright and early
this morning.
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3. Yeah.
We're going to funland!
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4. It's super fun!
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5. Oh, red, remember how
we used to take Eric there
when he was little?
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6. Remember how I used to get on
the roller-coaster with him,
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7. and then, just before
we took off, I'd jump out
and wave good-bye?
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8. Boy, did he scream.
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9. Well, it sounds like fun.
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10. Super fun!
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11. And we figured Eric could
use some fun, you know,
since he and Donna broke up.
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12. What?
Broke up?
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13. Yeah, I heard Donna
dumped his ass.
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14. That's funny.
I heard Eric was the one
who dumped Donna.
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15. Sure, he did.
I don't
think so.
Yeah, right.
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16. Well, Eric must be
just a wreck.
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17. Fine.
I'll just listen to A.M.
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18. That's just cruel.
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19. Hello, Wisconsin!
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20. Come on, Forman.
Get out of bed.
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21. Yes, we have to go
to funland before
all the fun is gone.
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22. I'm not going.
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23. Geez.
Forman, man,
snap out of it.
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24. So you had one of the
hottest chicks in point place
and you blew it.
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25. Could be worse.
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26. No, it couldn't.
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27. Eric, it's not all bad.
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28. Think about Bob being
your father-in-law.
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29. That guy'd be in all
your wedding pictures.
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30. Guys, I don't want
to talk about Donna,
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31. and I don't want to
go to funland.
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32. Fine.
If you're not going with us,
we'll stay here with you.
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33. We're not going to funland?
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34. Don't...
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35. Touch the g.I. Joes.
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36. Hey, Eric, did you—
hey, buddy,
can we not talk?
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37. Thanks.
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38. Fine.
We're going to funland.
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39. Good. Go.
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40. You know what?
I'm glad you are not
going to funland,
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41. because you will
suck the fun
right out of it.
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42. And then— and then it would
just be called "landland."
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43. I'm sorry.
I'll get you
a candy apple, okay?
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44. Okay, okay,
I got Eric out of bed.
He's on his way down.
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45. Now remember,
don't say anything
about Donna.
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46. He'll talk
when he's ready.
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47. Okay.
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48. Gee, son, you look like
you've just been dumped.
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49. I wasn't dumped, okay?
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50. We broke up.
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51. Yeah, well, run it off.
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52. Do you want to
talk about it, honey?
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53. No.
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54. Okay.
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55. Are you sure?
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56. Yes. Yes, I'm sure.
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57. Okay. Let's not talk.
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58. Eric, you are
a handsome young man
with a lot to offer.
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59. Okay.
Can I go now?
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60. No, no, no.
Not until you eat.
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61. You look like you
haven't eaten for a week.
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62. Oh, come on, kitty.
He always looks like that.
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63. Well, maybe so.
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64. But he won't have
the strength to get over Donna
if he doesn't eat.
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65. Fine!
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66. I'll eat.
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67. Just no more
talking about Donna.
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68. For one minute,
I'd like to not...
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69. Think about Donna.
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70. No Donna.
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71. Red, you should
go talk to him.
What?
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72. Why me?
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73. Because I don't really know
how to mend a broken heart.
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74. I've never been dumped.
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75. Oh, I don't believe that.
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76. Why not?
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77. Well, there are certain things
about you that are annoying...
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78. That other people might not
have been as tolerant of.
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79. You're bald!
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80. See? Like that!
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81. Okay, Michael,
we have to stay together.
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82. Every time we come here
you get lost.
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83. Damn, Jackie,
there's fun
around every corner.
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84. Michael,
what are the rules?
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85. Uh, no hitting you from
behind with the bumper cars.
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86. And?
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87. And...
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88. No riding the goats
at the petting zoo.
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89. And?
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90. We have to stay together,
Michael!
Fine!
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91. Balloons!
Stay!
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92. Hey there, kids!
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93. I'm woofy, the funland dog,
and I'm here to make sure
that you have fun, fun, fun!
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94. Touch me
like that again,
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95. you're gonna
eat your alpo through
a straw, straw, straw!
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96. Oh. Okeydokey.
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97. Well, I'm going down
to the saloon to look
for the guy who shot my paw.
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98. Oh, my god!
That was woofy,
and he talked to us!
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99. Guys, we gotta pick
a place to meet
in case we split up.
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100. How about the corner
of fun street
and fun boulevard?
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101. I mean, that should
be easy enough for
even Michael to remember.
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102. Michael?
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103. - Great. Now we'll
never find him.
- Sure we will.
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104. All we have to do
is show people his picture,
and they'll help us find him.
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105. You have a picture
of Kelso in your wallet?
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106. Of course.
I carry pictures
of all my friends.
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107. You're friends
with nipsey Russell?
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108. I want to be.
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109. I don't want to.
Fine.
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110. But when I broke up with
Archie Wilkins, he lived with
his parents until he was 40.
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111. Good god, kitty.
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112. That's another
23 years!
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113. All right.
I'm going in.
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114. Hey, Eric.
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115. How you doin'?
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116. Dad, I'm really not
in the mood for conversation.
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117. Good. Then I'll talk
and you listen.
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118. I ever tell you the story...
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119. About
Larry "no foot" mulligan?
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120. Well, I can guess.
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121. He had no foot?
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122. Larry was a buddy of mine
who lost his foot
during the war.
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123. And then, on his way
back to the states,
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124. ol' one foot—
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125. at that point
we were calling him one foot—
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126. had his ship go down,
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127. and a shark
ate his other foot.
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128. But he made it
all the way back home.
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129. And do you know
what happened to him
when he got here?
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130. He overcame his handicap...
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131. And, ironically,
became a shoe salesman?
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132. No.
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133. His girlfriend dumped him.
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134. Well, thank god
it had a happy ending.
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135. Look, the point of the story is,
you've got both feet.
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136. You'll be fine.
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137. Now, put some shoes on,
go on down and trim the hedges.
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138. Yeah. Well, you know,
I think I'm just gonna
stay up here.
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139. Yeah. Well, you know,
I think you're not.
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140. Hi.
Have you seen him?
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141. His name is Kelso.
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142. Kelso's trapped in a box?
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143. Hey!
Fez, check it out.
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144. "Fun university."
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145. Now check out the back.
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146. "F.u."
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147. I don't get it.
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148. F.u., man.
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149. F.u.!
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150. Oh, right.
"Fu."
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151. That's a good one.
That's a good one.
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152. I tried to look for Michael,
but I can't see over the crowd.
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153. I wish Donna was here.
She's a giant.
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154. Don't remind me.
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155. I asked her and asked her
and asked her to come,
and she just kept saying,
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156. "get out of my bathroom,
Fez!"
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157. Well, we still
have to find Michael.
What time is it?
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158. Did someone ask
what time it is?
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159. Why, here in funland,
it's always "fun o'clock!"
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160. Yeah, yeah,
thanks a lot, you morons.
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161. Hey, you guys wouldn't happen
to know what time it is,
would you?
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162. Oh, yeah!
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163. I thought we were in love.
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164. Oh, god.
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165. And then it all
just blows apart.
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166. And all that's left
is this big hole, you know?
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167. Uh, no, I don't.
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168. Oh! But there is
a gopher hole out back.
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169. And if you
shove the hose down
and flush him out,
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170. I'll stand at the other end
and hit him in the head
with a shovel.
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171. Uh-huh.
Just go, dad.
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172. Thanks.
Thank you.
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173. Well, I see sunshine outside,
but I don't see sunshine inside.
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174. Wanna talk about
the breakup, Bambi?
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175. No, dad, I don't
want to talk about it.
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176. You know, we were happy.
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177. But he had to push me.
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178. He had to
define everything and get
his little ring on me.
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179. By the time it was over,
we weren't even
together anymore.
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180. I'm fine.
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181. Son of a bitch.
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182. Listen, when you're done—
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183. I know, I know.
Put the bags on the curb.
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184. Hey.
"Hey"?
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185. Is that all you have
to say to me?
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186. Well, what do you
have to say to me?
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187. Huh.
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188. How about this?
"Hey."
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189. I'm not wrong!
You are wrong,
you dill-hole!
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190. Oh, great. That's nice.
That's really mature.
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191. Double dill-hole!
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192. "Double dill-hole"?
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193. Oh, geez! You were outside.
You were happy.
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194. Why are you back in bed?
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195. Well, I guess all
that fresh air...
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196. Got me thinking
that I'd rather be in bed.
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197. Yeah, well, get up.
It's time to go to work.
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198. Fine.
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199. Oh, and, uh, you don't have
to worry about that gopher.
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200. It's as dead
as you and Donna.
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201. Too soon, huh?
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202. I can't believe
you two.
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203. Poor Michael is lost,
and all you've done is
gone on rides and have fun.
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204. Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
The funland Princess!
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205. The funland Princess?
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206. I haven't been
on that ride yet.
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207. So, I figured this is
the lost and found
and I lost my friends,
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208. so they're bound
to show up here
sooner or later.
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209. Right?
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210. I miss my friends.
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211. "I miss my friends."
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212. What?
"What?"
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213. Stop it.
"Stop it."
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214. Stop copying me!
"Stop copying me!"
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215. I'm stupid.
You're stupid.
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216. Damn it!
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217. Hey, how about
that new cashier at work?
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218. Not bad, huh?
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219. Single too.
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220. - Dad, I'm not—
- what?
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221. Is it the braces?
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222. Well,
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223. you know what helps a fella
get over a gal?
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224. Pimiento loaf.
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225. What happened here, red?
I thought you were
gonna help him.
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226. Kitty,
I yelled at him all day.
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227. I don't know
what else to do.
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228. Well, how did you
get through
your first breakup?
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229. What's to get over?
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230. It happened.
I took it like a man.
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231. She was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
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232. Oh, Eloise.
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233. Oh, Eloise!
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234. My life is over!
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235. Yup.
Took it like a man.
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236. That was
the house of mirrors?
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237. I have more mirrors
than that in my purse.
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238. Why is everyone
leaving?
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239. Oh, my god.
What time is it?
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240. Did someone ask
what time it is?
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241. Yeah, we know.
It's fun o'clock.
Get killed.
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242. No, it's
closing time, kids.
Time for you to go.
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243. But, woofy,
we still haven't
found our friend.
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244. Yeah? Well, golly gee,
that's just too—
come on! Get out!
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245. Except for you!
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246. All right.
Let's go.
What about Michael?
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247. Look, there's been lost dogs
who've traveled
hundreds of miles...
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248. To be reunited
with their families.
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249. Now, Kelso
is not as smart as that,
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250. but I'm sure he can
make it the 12 miles
back to Forman's.
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251. So, me and this girl Eloise
were together for a while.
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252. Everything was great.
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253. But when things
started getting serious,
she dumped me.
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254. Man, that—
that hurt like hell.
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255. Did you cry?
No!
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256. No, no.
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257. But there were times
when I thought
I would never get over it.
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258. But time passed.
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259. I moved on.
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260. And then the day came
when I didn't
think about her as much.
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261. Then a couple more days
came along, and, why,
I thought about her even less.
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262. Then one day,
I didn't think
about her at all.
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263. And then
that made me sad.
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264. We've got
a little Irish in us,
don't we, dad?
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265. Yes, we do.
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266. It's just—
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267. it hurts.
You know?
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268. Listen, I'm gonna
give you a few days
to pull yourself together.
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269. You can stay in bed
and sleep. Watch TV.
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270. Whatever you need to do.
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271. Thank you, dad.
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272. And, you know,
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273. not that it matters,
but Donna didn't dump me.
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274. I broke up with her.
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275. Whatever you need
to tell yourself
to make it better.
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276. Thanks a lot for the ride,
Mrs. Anderson.
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277. Hey, Einstein,
you gonna eat
that ice cream?
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278. My name's not Einstein.
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279. It's Kelso.
And, yeah, I'm gonna eat it.
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280. That's it.
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281. Get out!
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282. - They started it!
- Get out!
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283. See ya, Einstein.
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284. It's not Einstein!
It's Kelso!
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