1. Hey, guys? I'm thinking
about getting a perm.
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2. Hyde, can I get
the number of your guy?
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3. I don't have a "guy,"
dumb-ass.
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4. This righteous moss
is a gift from god.
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5. God gave me a perm, too,
but he hit me below the belt.
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6. What are you doing,
Forman?
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7. My stupid cousin penny
from Florida is coming
this weekend,
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8. so my mom's making me
clean the basement.
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9. And I'm done.
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10. - Penny?
- God, she was always
such a tattletale.
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11. "Eric's stealing cookies."
"Eric's playing with fire."
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12. "Eric's touching himself."
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13. Yeah, but Eric got her back.
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14. He hit her with the old Ben gay
on the toothbrush,
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15. and the over-the-shoulder
wedgie,
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16. and the butt-face gas attack.
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17. Butt-face gas attack?
I'll show you later.
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18. Thank you.
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19. My favorite was when you trapped
her in the revolving door at the
library and kept spinning her.
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20. Yeah, she ralphed,
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21. and then she had to keep
walking through the puddle.
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22. 'Cause it's
a revolving door.
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23. It spins in circles.
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24. That's its nature.
It just—
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25. Hello, Wisconsin!
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26. Penny!
Aunt kitty!
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27. It's so good to see you!
Oh, my gosh,
you have grown so—
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28. things have—
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29. good for you!
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30. And good for us.
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31. Oh, geez.
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32. Penny.
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33. You're so... shiny.
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34. I am just so excited
you're here.
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35. I have lots of free time
these days, so I've gathered up
some local foliage.
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36. And I thought we could have
a long talk while we make
our own potpourri!
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37. Well, thanks, aunt kitty,
but right now I'd just like
to catch up with Eric.
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38. Find out how he got so foxy.
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39. Okay, you boys be nice.
But not too nice.
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40. Penny, I know your last trip
here I was kind of a jerk, and—
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41. oh, god, Eric!
That was so long ago.
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42. Plus, I can't stay mad at you.
You're too cute.
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43. Hey, guys, what's up?
Oh, hey, you remember
my cousin penny?
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44. Hey, penny.
I didn't recognize you without
Eric's butt in your face.
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45. So, you guys
ready for the movies?
You can come too.
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46. I guess.
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47. Thanks, but this
Wisconsin air
is so dry,
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48. I really should
go inside and moisturize
before I lose my tan.
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49. I have lotion.
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50. I think the best plan
is for all of us to go
to the movies—
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51. except for me and penny,
who will stay here
and moisturize each other.
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52. What? Screw that,
I'm gonna moisturize too.
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53. Michael!
I'll just do, like,
a leg or something.
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54. Fine!
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55. Come on. Let me
show you to your room.
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56. - Michael!
- I'm gettin' kool-aid!
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57. Damn!
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58. What losers! Did you see
them checking her out?
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59. Okay, she's not that hot.
I never liked her.
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60. You know, once when
we were little she bit me,
so I bit her back.
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61. And then she said, "truce,"
so I said, "okay."
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62. And then she bit me again.
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63. Whore.
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64. Slut.
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65. No, her.
Oh, yeah.
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66. Whore.
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67. Yeah, we'll show penny
with our new sunlamp tans.
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68. How dare she
come into our town
and try to "out-hot" us.
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69. I know. I mean,
we don't go to her town
and try and "out-whore" her.
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70. Well, she can't just
show up all hot, shaking
her butt around our guys.
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71. If our guys are gonna fantasize
about moisturizing anybody,
it should be us.
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72. Right. But we're not gonna
let them do that, are we?
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73. Let's just hope
it doesn't come to that.
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74. Have you seen that
little stray cat that's been
hanging around our house?
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75. Oh, yeah,
I met him this morning.
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76. Then he met the hose.
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77. Kitty, we don't need
more things hanging
around our house.
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78. We already have Steven
and Kelso...
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79. And "foreign kid."
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80. Yeah, but they're
always busy.
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81. Maybe I should get my own cat.
I'm not working.
I'm home all day.
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82. Here's my problem with cats.
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83. You get
the smartest cat in the world.
He still craps in your house.
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84. Well, it's just,
it would be nice to have
something to take care of.
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85. I'll tell you what, kitty.
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86. Instead of getting a cat,
why don't we all just
stop flushing?
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87. It's the same thing!
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88. Guys, I'm getting some weirdness
from cousin penny.
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89. Earlier, she gave me a hug,
but this wasn't a cousin hug.
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90. Our middles touched.
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91. And not just for a second.
She pressed.
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92. I've heard of "kissing cousins."
But have you ever heard
of "doin' it cousins"?
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93. 'Cause that's what I think
Forman should be
shooting for here.
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94. Kelso, I appreciate the advice,
but your solution to every
problem is "do it with her."
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95. Well, it worked with
my old science teacher.
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96. C-minus!
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97. Well, unfortunately,
penny is my cousin.
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98. That'd be like looking at my mom
and thinking, "hey, baby, how"--
I'm just gonna stop right there.
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99. I've thought that
about your mom,
but I didn't stop right there.
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100. Surprise!
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101. This oughta keep you
company during the week.
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102. Roy's pet store?
Red, you got me a cat!
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103. Well, it's like a cat.
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104. A fish?
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105. Red, it's a fish.
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106. See?
It's like a cat.
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107. They're both pets.
No, they're not.
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108. Pets are called "pets"
because you pet them.
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109. How do I pet this thing?
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110. Well, you just
reach in and corner it
and give it a rub.
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111. They just love the feel
of the human hand.
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112. Jackie! Jackie, wake up.
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113. Oh, my god.
Donna, you're totally burned.
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114. Really?
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115. What have you done to me?
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116. Me? This was
your stupid idea.
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117. Did you call me "stupid"?
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118. Ow!
Ow!
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119. Lobster face!
Ow!
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120. Little red
riding bitch!
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121. Oh, my god!
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122. Okay! Now, okay,
let's just call a truce.
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123. Fine.
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124. Ow!
Ow!
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125. Ow!
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126. Don't look at me.
Mrs. Paul killed these.
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127. Here.
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128. So,
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129. must get pretty boring
living in a fishbowl, huh?
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130. Gets pretty boring
around here too.
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131. You know, I used
to work at a hospital,
and taking care of people—
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132. it felt so good to be needed.
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133. You know,
like— like part of a team?
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134. You know, people really depended
on me, which I kind of miss.
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135. Oh, at least I don't—
I don't miss the bedpans.
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136. Are you sure it's okay
for me to do my yoga in here?
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137. Do aunt kitty and uncle red
allow girls in your room?
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138. Well, you're my cousin,
so you don't even really
count as a girl.
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139. You're like a rock.
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140. A moving, talking,
extremely limber rock.
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141. Ooh, that's nice.
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142. Peterson's auto shop.
What?
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143. Peterson's auto shop.
That's what my t-shirt says.
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144. I noticed you were
trying to read it.
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145. That's— yes.
Yes, I was.
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146. I, uh— I kinda have,
like, a passion
for t-shirt logos.
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147. Okay, well,
bedtime for this
logo fan, okay?
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148. Off you go.
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149. Uh-oh.
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150. Naughty thoughts a-brewin'.
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151. Penny, you're cold.
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152. Go get a sweatshirt.
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153. Oh. Okay, uncle red.
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154. Eric, do I have to tell you
to stop staring at your cousin?
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155. Stop staring at your cousin.
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156. Kitty, where's breakfast?
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157. Honey, i'm-I'm running
a little late.
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158. I was, um, redecorating
fluffy's bowl.
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159. Kitty, it's a stupid fish.
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160. What?
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161. Cinnamon toast, get on it!
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162. Oh, so, decided
against the sweatshirt.
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163. It's a bold choice.
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164. I saw uncle red leaving,
and I wanted to talk
to you alone.
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165. See, I kind of
have a crush on you.
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166. Okay, penny, okay.
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167. Look, I don't know what
the laws are down in...
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168. Florida.
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169. But up here,
the cousin-lovin' is
really frowned upon.
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170. That's why I wanted
to talk to you.
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171. Last week, I overheard
my parents talking, and I
found out that I'm adopted.
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172. So, technically,
we're not even related.
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173. Well, that's a twist.
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174. And all those feelings
that I had about you
that would've been wrong?
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175. Are pretty freakin' right!
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176. Bring it in.
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177. Now you're warm,
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178. and I don't feel bad
about that.
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179. So penny's not
even your cousin?
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180. All right. Well, in light
of recent developments,
I vote "do it."
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181. Do it, yellow belly!
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182. Look, man,
if you don't do it,
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183. I'm gonna do it.
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184. Then I'm gonna
make fun of you.
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185. All right, fellas.
I guess it's all systems go.
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186. Just— hey, let's keep
this between us, okay?
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187. Hey, what's up?
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188. Forman wants
to nail his cousin.
No.
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189. No, no, no,
she's not my cousin.
She was adopted.
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190. And what the hell
happened to your face?
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191. - What the hell happened to yours?
- Burn!
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192. Yeah, I gotta admit, Donna,
that was a nice burn.
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193. And I don't mean what
you said just there.
I mean your face. Nice burn.
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194. Hey, if you ever need a date
for prom, you can just flip
through the family album.
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195. Oh, god.
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196. You're just jealous
because penny is incredibly hot,
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197. and you're
a throbbing red pile.
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198. Eric, my sunburn will fade,
but your shame
will last forever.
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199. Yeah, well, at least
my shame won't... peel.
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200. Hey, there's my girl.
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201. New logo. Nice.
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202. I was just having
a glass of milk before bed.
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203. Oh, well, you know,
you don't have
to rush off.
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204. Sit. Come on.
Let's gab awhile.
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205. So,
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206. let's get to the bottom
of this crush, huh?
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207. You know what
I'd really love to do?
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208. Stay up late and watch movies
like we did when we were kids.
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209. Remember?
All alone in the dark?
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210. That's a good plan.
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211. And let's wear our jammies!
Excellent addition
to the plan.
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212. Oh, but I usually
just sleep in a t-shirt
and panties.
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213. Is that okay?
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214. Well, so do I!
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215. Er, I mean, you know,
man-panties— er—
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216. underwear.
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217. You know what I meant.
Great.
The movie starts at 11:00.
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218. Don't be late.
Okay, I won't.
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219. "Man-panties"?
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220. - Kitty? What happened?
- Fluffy died.
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221. Well, if it's any
consolation, fish are
never even really alive.
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222. They're just less dead.
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223. I know.
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224. You know,
he wasn't good company,
but at least he was company.
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225. Red, I'm unhappy.
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226. Oh! I gotta go
to the store.
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227. I am a nurturer.
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228. I am not gonna be satisfied
nurturing something you'd
win at a carnival.
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229. Kitty, what do you want?
I'll get you anything you want.
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230. Not a cat.
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231. I want to go back
to the hospital to work.
Oh.
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232. As long as it's
not a cat, I'm good.
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233. Okay, I think what you mean is,
"I'm glad you're doing
what makes you happy."
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234. Oh, of course.
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235. And I'm sorry
that your fish died.
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236. Don't be.
I flushed it.
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237. Good evening, milady.
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238. 11:00, on the nose.
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239. Well, we're all alone.
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240. I told Hyde to amscray
for a while. So go ahead,
take off your robe.
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241. Penny, there's no rat—
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242. don't, Eric! Don't!
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243. No, I was—
Eric, step away
from your cousin.
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244. No, she's not my cousin.
She was adopted.
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245. I'm not adopted.
Wh-what? What?
She's lying!
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246. Eric, I saw her mother
give birth to her.
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247. Now, what is
going on?
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248. I'm... sleepwalking?
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249. And I'm about to be
"sleepkicking" your ass.
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250. Eric, what kind of person
would lie about something
as serious as being adopted?
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251. A liar who specializes
you.
A mean, vindictive person.
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252. - Like someone who would trap
someone in a revolving door?
- Yes! Ohh.
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253. Mom, dad, can—
can penny and I
be alone for a minute?
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254. No!
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255. I'm not raising
any flipper grandkids.
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256. No. Look, I just want
to apologize to penny.
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257. Fine. When you're done,
you head right upstairs.
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258. I'm having
pastor Dave come over
for an emergency house call.
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259. I guess this will
teach you to play pranks
on innocent little girls.
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260. This has taught me
a lesson.
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261. And that is that I'm not gonna
rest until I get you back
way worse than you got me!
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262. Which by the way,
wasn't really that bad!
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263. Actually,
it's pretty bad.
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264. Cousin penny went
back home, huh?
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265. Oh, wait, did I say cousin?
Yeah, I meant cousin.
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266. Looks like that's two hot girls
you can't have.
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267. Well, thank you for such
a conservative estimate.
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268. By the way, Donna, here's
your copy of the pictures.
Oh!
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269. If you flip through 'em
real fast, it looks like
Eric's running.
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270. Gimme those.
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