1. Boo!
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2. Damn it, Fez!
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3. Oh! Damn, Fez.
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4. Fez, what the hell are you doing?
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5. Yeah, I don't know
if you know this...
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6. but you're dressed like a girl.
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7. And not a nice girl.
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8. Kelso, you spilled juice
all over your shirt.
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9. - You look stupid.
- Yeah.
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10. Hey, Kelso, while you're over there, would
you please, please toss Fez a pair of pants?
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11. Or at least a skirt.
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12. No, I am Dr. Frank-N-Furter from
The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
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13. You know, my Bible-thumping host
parents were really upset about my...
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14. rock-hard ass.
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15. Fez, put it away
or take it outside.
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16. So, Eric, do you wanna
get out of here?
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17. - Do something fun for Halloween?
- I do.
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18. I gotta go to this stupid Halloween party
with Laurie's stupid friends.
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19. Not only do I have to
wear a suit...
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20. but all of her guy friends act
like they've done it with her before.
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21. - Uh, Kelso...
- Leave it.
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22. Okay. Whatever.
There's nothing to do.
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23. It's like we're too old to trick
or treat and too young to die.
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24. Oh, hey, we could take Fez to Chicago
and peddle his ass for beer.
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25. I'm game.
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26. No, Eric, I meant maybe there's something,
you know, we could do. Together.
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27. - I doubt it.
- Oh!
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28. That is a burn.
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29. - Wait. What?
- No, I...
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30. No, I didn't... I didn't
mean it like that.
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31. Nope, sorry, Eric,
that was a burn.
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32. And what's burnt is burnt.
And what's burnt is Donna.
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33. We're out of fun things to do?
You're already bored of your girlfriend?
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34. No, I meant this town...
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35. not you, pretty lady.
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36. Hey, you know what'd be fun?
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37. Is if we were in an Alfred
Hitchcock movie right now...
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38. and we didn't know it,
and then someone told us...
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39. and we're like,
"Oh, man, I'm in a movie."
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40. - Yeah, okay, I'm outta here.
- Wait, but I thought we...
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41. - Get bent.
- Okay, I'll do that.
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42. You know what will cheer you up?
A little trick-or-treating.
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43. Hello? Stop bouncing that damn
ball and let's do something.
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44. Yeah, you know, I can't, Fez,
'cause I can't even look at you.
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45. I don't know whether to
throw you out or...
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46. throw you down and
make sweet love to you.
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47. You know, that says more
about you than it does him.
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48. Well, I'm not the one
dressed like a damn girl.
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49. Well, the damn girl has your ball.
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50. Like I care about a...
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51. Man, that's my ball.
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52. Oh, these heels are killing me.
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53. Okay, Fez, that's it. Give the ball back,
and no one gets hurt.
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54. Hey, you guys, you wanna go outside
and watch Eric and Fez run around?
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55. Someone might get hurt.
It's funny when people get hurt.
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56. Especially when they're
in their underwear. That's great.
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57. The only person dumb enough
to get hurt around here is you.
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58. Okay, Jackie,
I'm really starting to get sick...
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59. That's great.
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60. I'll give you the ball,
Eric. Just don't fall.
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61. I don't want anyone to fall.
No falling.
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62. Okay, Fez. Well...
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63. you got a bad sprain here.
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64. Not to... to mention a run in your stocking.
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65. So, you were running around
chasing him on the roof...
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66. because he took
your little rubber ball.
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67. It wasn't a ball.
It was a SuperBall.
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68. Yeah, you should see
that thing bounce.
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69. It's pretty super.
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70. Dumb-asses.
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71. Steven, Eric, um, get Fez a blanket.
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72. He needs to cover his... He just...
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73. He needs to cover up.
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74. Get off me, you girl.
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75. - What... What happened?
- Honey, you just...
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76. you had a little touch
of vertigo there.
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77. So, just stay away from heights
for a while and you'll be fine.
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78. Oh, see?
You see that, Jackie?
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79. Fez hurt himself. There is
someone "stupider" than me.
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80. It's not his fault
he's stupid. He's foreign.
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81. What's your excuse, stupid?
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82. Well, I know one thing's for sure. There's
definitely someone bitchier than me.
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83. Oh, you better not mean me.
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84. Oh, I so mean you!
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85. - Oh.
- Nice burn.
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86. - Top shelf.
- Thanks.
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87. Well, now, that's strange.
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88. Midge's car's right there.
Bob said she wasn't home.
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89. In fact, I haven't
seen her for days.
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90. Maybe she went to the store
and forgot where she lived.
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91. Oh, that's... that's wrong.
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92. Okay, Fez, this'll cheer you up.
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93. With these you can look into the
Pinciotti's house and frequently enjoy...
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94. a naked Midge,
up close and personal.
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95. That's exactly how I like
my naked Midges.
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96. Oh, but, Fez, be warned.
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97. If Bob approaches
a naked Midge, look away.
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98. Oh, for the love of God,
look away.
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99. Okay, let's practice.
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100. Naked Midge, naked Midge,
naked Midge...
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101. - naked Midge, Bob.
- Ay.
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102. Okay, I think you're gonna be okay.
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103. No, okay. Sure.
Yeah. Bye-bye.
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104. Red, I need you to take
this soup up to Fez.
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105. No, Kitty. He's wearing
ladies' underwear.
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106. So, uh, no.
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107. Well, crazy bird lady
from next door called me.
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108. Her bingo cruise got stuck
out on Lake Michigan...
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109. so she asked me
to feed her birds.
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110. So, you have a choice.
Feed the birds, or feed the Fez.
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111. Give me panty boy's damn soup.
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112. Hello, pretty birds.
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113. Hello, pretty...
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114. damn big birds.
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115. It's your Aunt Kitty.
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116. Okay.
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117. Hey.
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118. Oh, I've seen this one.
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119. Those guys think that Cary Grant's
a secret agent, but he's not.
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120. It's a case of mistaken identity.
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121. Right, like you've mistaken me
for someone who wants you here.
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122. Right.
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123. Wait.
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124. - Oh, kick back. I'll get it.
- No, it's the paperboy.
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125. Well, Mr. Forman, you
have to answer the door.
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126. Look, I forgot to pay him
for the last couple of weeks...
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127. and I didn't pick up any cash,
so, just ignore him.
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128. Red, I don't think
you understand, okay?
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129. I... I can't let a doorbell go unanswered.
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130. - Don't answer the damn door.
- I gotta.
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131. - Don't.
- But I gotta.
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132. All right. Fine.
You pay him, kettlehead.
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133. Hey, Forman. I want my money.
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134. Oh, I... Oh.
There's no Formans here.
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135. See for yourself.
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136. Then why does it say
Forman on your shirt?
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137. Oh, I borrowed the shirt.
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138. That's a bunch of bullcorn,
Forman. Now, give me my money.
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139. I'm not Forman.
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140. All right, look.
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141. Don't you think you're taking this
paperboy thing a little too serious?
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142. I'm a very serious paperboy.
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143. Okay, you know what this is?
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144. This is a case of mistaken identity.
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145. See, you are mistaken...
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146. about my identity.
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147. Fork it over, Forman!
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148. Look, someone's
stealing your bike.
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149. All right, there's two guys
stupider than me.
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150. - Hi.
- Hi.
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151. - Any sign of naked Midge yet?
- No.
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152. Just Bob dragging in big,
heavy garbage bags.
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153. What do you suppose is in 'em?
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154. Oh, I don't know.
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155. - I'm guessing garbage.
- Or...
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156. You know how Mrs. Kitty said she
hasn't seen Midge in a few days?
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157. What if naked Midge
is in the bags?
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158. Red. Red, I killed a bird.
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159. Oh.
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160. And then... And then the
rest of them, they just...
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161. they glared at me with this...
this birdie hate look.
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162. I can't go back there.
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163. I have got to find somebody
else to feed those birds.
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164. Somebody who won't flinch
in the face of evil.
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165. Oh, and there's Mommy's girl.
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166. Laurie, have I got a job for you.
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167. - Not interested.
- It pays 10 bucks.
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168. All right, I'll do
anything for 10 bucks.
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169. And... And for once,
that's a good thing.
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170. Donna, what's wrong?
You look sad.
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171. I think Eric thinks I'm boring.
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172. Do you think I'm boring?
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173. Oh, Donna.
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174. Yeah, a little.
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175. But it's not like it's a bad thing.
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176. The world needs people like you.
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177. You're the gray that makes
the color... me... pop.
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178. Jackie, I'm not boring.
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179. Eric and I do lots of fun stuff together.
We go to movies...
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180. Every Friday, early show.
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181. - What? I get sleepy.
- Mm-hmm.
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182. Oh, no.
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183. Boring, boring, boring.
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184. Boring, boring, boring.
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185. Hey, who's the hot blonde?
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186. That's not a hot blonde. It's Donna.
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187. Where is she going?
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188. Maybe she's going trolling for
men who don't piss her off.
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189. Oh.
That's so funny, Hyde.
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190. I don't know where she's going,
but I'm gonna follow her.
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191. Would you stop doing that?
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192. Hey, I don't know how this
fits in your murder theory...
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193. but Bob's wearing an apron with guts all
over it and holding a big carving knife.
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194. He did kill Midge.
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195. And I never got to see her naked.
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196. That's 2.50 plus a 50 cent tip...
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197. 'cause I'm good.
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198. See you next week, Forman.
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199. I'm not Forman!
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200. First of all, Mrs. Forman,
I'm using your shower.
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201. And second of all,
you have to pay your paperboy.
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202. So, how'd it go? Did...
Did you feed the birds?
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203. Well, uh... Yeah.
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204. I mean, I think I did.
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205. Well, either you did or you didn't.
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206. Well, you didn't either, and
you didn't even get pooped on.
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207. Now, go feed your own stupid birds.
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208. Oh, Hyde, please be careful.
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209. I want you to catch some clues...
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210. but I don't want you stuck in the
garbage bag with dead, naked Midge.
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211. Oh, beers.
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212. Hyde is so funny.
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213. Oh-oh, what is he going to do?
Is he going to moon me?
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214. Oh, run, Hyde, run.
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215. Don't forget the beers!
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216. The beers.
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217. Why are you in my bathroom?
Get out!
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218. Out! Out! I need the shower.
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219. - I got pooped on.
- All right, stop it. Cut it out.
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220. That's really hot.
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221. Oh, my God. You spilled
my shampoo, you idiot!
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222. Help.
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223. You can't kill me like you
killed Midge, you big doofy.
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224. Midge? I didn't kill Midge.
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225. She's in Chicago visiting her sister.
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226. Oh, really?
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227. Then what was in
the heavy garbage sacks?
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228. Garbage, you idiot.
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229. Oh, well, I guess that
explains the giant knife...
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230. guts all over your apron.
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231. Oh, wait. No, it doesn't.
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232. - Explain that, killer.
- They were pumpkin guts.
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233. I was making jack-o'-lanterns.
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234. So, you're hiding Midge's body
in a jack-o'-lantern. Clever plan.
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235. Look, there's Midge now.
Not dead or nothing.
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236. Oh, goody.
You can go now. Thanks.
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237. Midgie, no! Cover yourself!
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238. Ow.
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239. Give it. Give it!
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240. Ay!
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241. Donna! Donna!
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242. Why would she go
up the water tower?
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243. Why does she want to be up there?
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244. And why am I talking to myself?
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245. I have to...
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246. Climb.
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247. Donna, what the hell
are you doing?
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248. Well, I guess you've caught me.
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249. And if you must know the truth...
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250. I'm not boring, you ass.
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251. I never said you were boring.
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252. - How'd you know I'd follow you here?
- I saw you spying on me.
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253. I wasn't... No,
I wasn't spying on you.
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254. I was teaching Fez how
to spy on your naked...
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255. Yeah, you know what,
I was spying on you.
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256. - What a weird night.
- Hmm.
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257. Please, Donna, tell me there's
not a head in that basket.
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258. No, no. It's just a picnic.
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259. So... So, we're okay?
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260. Ow, you're on my wig.
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261. Oh, my God! I'm gonna die!
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262. - Eric, hold on. I'm gonna pull you up.
- No, Donna, you can't do it.
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263. You're just a girl.
Okay, okay. Yeah, you...
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264. Hey. Okay, you got it.
That's...
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265. To be honest, it was
never really a problem.
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266. Whoa.
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267. Ow.
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268. Oh, my goodness. A phone booth.
That's lucky.
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269. Oh, thank God.
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270. It was just a dream.
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271. Well, I can't go back there.
I just can't.
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272. So, you know, Donna,
even though my ankle's sprained...
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273. I can still probably make it
up that water tower.
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274. You know, finish what we started.
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275. I would, but I don't know if I can.
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276. I mean, something happened
to me up there too.
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277. Oh, I know. Vertigo, right?
Fear of heights?
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278. No, Eric. Fear of sex.
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