1. That is the saddest sound
in the world.
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2. No more soda for Fez.
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3. And no more money for...
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4. - Fez, do you need me to buy you another soda?
- Eric, you do not buy soda.
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5. You only rent it.
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6. You know what I mean.
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7. I mean, you pee it out.
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8. Yeah, I got it. Go.
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9. Well, I'll have to
remember that phone number.
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10. - Hi, Fez!
- Caroline! What are you doing?
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11. I knew you'd be in here.
I saw you had the large root beer.
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12. - Caroline, you have to leave me alone.
- But I wanna be with you!
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13. But I told you
we're through because...
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14. I am with Donna.
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15. Yes?
Remember? Donna?
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16. Well, you'd better be, because if you're not
that means you still love me.
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17. And if you still love me
but you're not with me, I'll make you pay.
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18. That would only be scary
if I was lying about Donna and me.
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19. Well, if you are lying I'll know,
because I'll be watching you.
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20. Go ahead.
I'm not afraid.
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21. Oh, Eric, I'm afraid.
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22. What's wrong?
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23. When I broke up with crazy Caroline,
I told her I was dating Donna.
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24. But I'm not dating Donna.
You are dating Donna.
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25. Hey!
Could I borrow Donna?
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26. Sure.
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27. I don't wanna blink, 'cause I'm afraid
to miss even a second of your cuteness.
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28. I know.
It's torture for me too.
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29. I could tear your eyelids off.
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30. Let's go, Michael, to a place
where our love is understood.
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31. Oh, hey, while you're there
check out the new monkey house.
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32. It never ends with those two.
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33. I love you, I love you,
I love you...
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34. Guys, it won't last.
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35. Look, an object in an unnatural state...
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36. must return to its natural state.
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37. Thus, Kelso and Jackie'll
have a fight any day.
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38. Really?
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39. It's simple physics.
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40. Hey, you guys, you know what?
We should get a pool going.
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41. We'll draw days for five bucks.
If they fight on your day, you win the pot.
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42. The pot?
If that's the prize, I am in.
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43. Hey, guys.
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44. Hey.
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45. Donna, I can't thank you enough
for agreeing to help me with Caroline.
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46. Hey, anything for a friend.
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47. But if she tries to hurt me,
I'm using you as a shield.
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48. Likewise.
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49. So, while you're with Fez, looks like
Forman'll be living the single life.
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50. Oh, yeah. That's right.
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51. Oh, now you won't get to take me
to see The Turning Point.
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52. The ballerina movie?
Oh, no.
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53. Need somethin', Bob?
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54. Well, it's a funny thing.
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55. The wife and I, we're taking out
a second mortgage on the house.
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56. Well, that's not the funny part...
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57. 'cause we're pretty much destitute.
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58. It's a little bit funny, Bob.
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59. Anyways...
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60. I'm looking at
the deed to the property...
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61. and the map shows that I own a couple feet of
your driveway and a little bit of your garage.
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62. How'd you like to own
a little bit of my foot in your ass?
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63. I wouldn't, to be quite honest.
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64. It's free.
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65. So, our first date.
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66. I guess we're officially a couple now.
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67. A couple of knuckleheads, huh?
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68. May we laugh.
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69. - Oh! There she is.
- Okay. Showtime.
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70. Yeah. Yeah.
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71. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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72. So, should I watch
a ballerina movie...
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73. or Get Smart?
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74. Get Smart it is.
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75. That's right.
I said Get Smart.
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76. I'm sorry, Donna.
Did you want the last piece?
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77. Well, it's too late.
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78. That's right.
I said too late.
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79. Yeah, that was me.
That's right. That was me.
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80. Hey, Hyde!
Welcome to the bachelor life.
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81. You know, without Donna...
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82. I've realized that I can revert
to my natural state.
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83. I'm dirty, I'm lazy...
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84. and I don't wear pants.
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85. - I'm just like you.
- No, no.
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86. See, I'm an original.
A Warhol.
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87. You're just a print.
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88. Those are some
pretty strong words...
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89. coming from a guy
who's wearing pants.
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90. Wait.
This is my favorite part.
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91. Oh, yeah, that was me.
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92. That's right.
That was me!
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93. Bob, that's my stuff!
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94. You put the hell back my stuff!
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95. Sorry, Red.
It was in my part of the garage.
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96. What are you talking about?
What is he talking about?
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97. Kitty...
Kitty, let me talk to him.
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98. Bob, get the hell
out of my garage!
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99. Fine.
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100. There ya go.
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101. Hey.
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102. Hey,
how goes the pool?
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103. Great.
I sold 15 spots.
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104. I got today.
You got tomorrow.
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105. What? That bites.
They're never gonna last until then.
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106. Who won't last until what?
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107. - What? Huh?
- Huh? What?
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108. Oh. Oh. I, uh...
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109. I smashed a couple of toes. We're waiting
to see how long before the nails fall off.
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110. I wanna play.
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111. Uh, Michael,
you're a little busy right now.
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112. But, Jackie, those toenails
could fall off at any minute.
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113. Hey! Me!
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114. I'm sorry, puddin'.
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115. All right.
Now I feel like pudding.
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116. Hey! Me too!
Let's go.
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117. Well, I believe this is mine.
Thank you all for playing.
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118. What?
That wasn't a fight.
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119. Okay, we'll let Fez decide.
Fez, fight or no?
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120. Sorry, Eric.
I have to say no.
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121. - The pool goes on.
- But, Fez, I...
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122. It goes on.
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123. Ah, what the hell?
Now I want pudding.
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124. I'm with you, brother.
Let's roll.
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125. Thank God.
I thought they'd never leave.
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126. No, no. Don't get
all gussied up for me.
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127. I just came by to make sure you're okay.
You know, not too lonely without me.
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128. What, are you kidding me?
I'm having a great time!
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129. I... I feel like I've really
learned a lot about... Eric.
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130. Oh. Well, I'm glad
you're having fun.
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131. Oh, but what about you?
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132. Pretending to be Fez's girlfriend
has to be kind of a drag. Right?
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133. No! Fez is great. Last night
he took me to play putt-putt.
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134. And tonight
he's taking me on a hayride.
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135. Fez is so charming.
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136. You know, I can see
why Caroline's stalking him.
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137. - You know, I would've taken you on a hayride...
- Eric, Eric.
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138. The important thing is that you're having
a great time, and I'm having a great time.
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139. So have a great time.
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140. No, you have a great time.
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141. Oh, I will.
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142. Well, I will too.
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143. Eric, I cannot thank you enough
for lending me your girlfriend.
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144. It feels so good to be in
a normal, healthy relationship.
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145. Fez, it's a fake,
pretend relationship.
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146. You say tomato,
I say tomato.
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147. Fez, "to-mah-to."
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148. What?
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149. You say "to-mah-to."
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150. Why would I say "to-mah-to"?
That's not even a word, dummy.
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151. Yeah. I'm sorry.
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152. It's okay, Eric.
Different strokes for different strokes.
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153. Right.
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154. All I know is, if I was married
to a woman like Donna...
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155. it would be heavens.
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156. Oh, the high jinks
we would get into.
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157. Lucy, I'm home!
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158. Ricky, is that you?
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159. Lucy, what happened to you?
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160. Oh, Ricky, I was making
molasses cookies for your band...
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161. and I had an accident!
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162. Oh, Lucy.
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163. - Uh-oh.
- Ricky!
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164. We're stuck!
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165. I'll get it.
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166. ¡Ayayayayay!
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167. Hi, neighbors!
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168. Lucy, I brought you
that flour for your cookies.
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169. Oh, Ethel, you're a pal!
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170. Gee, Fred, would it hurt you
to hug me like that?
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171. Well, probably not.
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172. But why take the chance?
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173. Hey, Fred, we got
a sticky situation here.
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174. You wanna help us out?
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175. Sure, Rick.
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176. Watch it, Fred!
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177. Boy, you kids really are stuck.
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178. Waaaaah!
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179. Waaaaah!
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180. Waaaaah!
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181. Oh, Lucy.
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182. Well, I'm off to romance our lady.
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183. Oh...
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184. Hey, Fez, Donna hasn't been...
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185. I don't know, like,
mentioning me or anything?
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186. No.
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187. Well, that... that's okay. That's good,
'cause I haven't been talking about her either.
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188. Of course, I've been alone,
so I'd just be talking to myself.
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189. And that's not normal.
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190. Have to be pretty crazy
to talk to myself, wouldn't I?
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191. Yes. Yes, I would.
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192. Okay, I gotta get some pants.
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193. Damn.
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194. Oh, hey, Kelso, uh...
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195. Pam Macy called...
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196. and she said she had a really great time
making out with you last night.
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197. - Michael!
- No! No! We did not!
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198. Fight! Fight! Fight!
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199. - No fair, man.
- Shut up!
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200. - My day's almost over! Now, hurry up and fight!
- What?
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201. Oh, no!
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202. - Would you watch it!
- Isn't Kelso a klutz? I think you should hit him.
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203. Steven, why are you
trying to make us fight?
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204. 'Cause I've got today in the pool.
Come on, Jackie, hit him!
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205. Oh, my God.
I get it.
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206. The pool wasn't about
Steven's toenails.
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207. These idiots bet on
when you and I would fight.
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208. Kelso! Are you gonna take that, man?
She called your friends idiots.
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209. You better start kickin' some ass!
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210. No, wait.
The pool was about us?
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211. Damn!
I wish I had a piece of that!
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212. You would wager against our love?
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213. Well, damn, Jackie! In a lifetime,
how often do you have a run at a sure thing?
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214. Game over!
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215. What's all the racket?
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216. Oh, that's just the sweet sound
of me winning 75 bucks.
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217. Aha!
Not so fast, cheater!
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218. It's two minutes past midnight, which means
it's the next day, which means you lose.
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219. Ah!
Serves you right.
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220. - Yeah.
- Oh, shut up, Michael.
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221. Looks like the winner
is "R.F." Who's R.F.?
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222. I believe this is mine.
Thank you all very much.
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223. All right, hand over my preserves.
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224. They were in our garage,
and now they're not.
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225. Oh, that's terrible, Kitty.
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226. Why don't you sit down and relax
with some toast and homemade jam?
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227. - Jam?
- Yeah. We found it in our garage.
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228. It's our garage!
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229. And that's my jam!
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230. Bon appétit!
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231. You know, you two
just don't get it, do you?
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232. That jam was on my property.
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233. I'll show you the deed.
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234. There's my lot.
There's yours.
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235. There's the property line right there.
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236. Oops.
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237. Well...
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238. Looks like I own
part of your property.
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239. I, uh... I will not stand
for this trickery!
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240. You get out of my house!
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241. No problem.
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242. Okay. No one answered
the phone at Eric's house.
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243. What could he be doing?
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244. Where could he go with no pants?
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245. Donna, when we're in public,
you are with me.
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246. Eric is dead to you.
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247. Excuse me.
Pardon me.
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248. Move it!
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249. Oh, boy.
Here comes trouble.
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250. Caroline.
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251. I was just offering my girlfriend Donna
a sip from my straw.
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252. We don't care about germs, because
she has had her tongue in my mouth.
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253. You know what I think?
I think this is all an act.
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254. I don't think you're really dating.
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255. Oh, yeah? Well... Well, maybe...
maybe this will convince you.
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256. Come on, Donna.
Put some leg into it.
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257. Give me a break.
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258. If you were really together, you'd have
at least gotten to second base by now.
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259. You know,
when you are right, you are right.
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260. All right, all right.
Enough.
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261. Caroline, Fez doesn't like you.
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262. Is that true, Fez?
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263. Yes.
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264. Wow.
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265. I guess we really are over.
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266. Okay!
Enjoy your movie.
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267. - Ow.
- Sorry.
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268. - It's okay.
- Hey, Eric.
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269. Lookin' good.
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270. Call me.
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271. Eric, what are you doing here?
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272. Are you kidding me?
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273. It's The Turning Point.
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274. I love ballet movies.
They make you think, you know?
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275. How did their feet get so pointy?
That's a mystery I'm determined to solve.
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276. - What?
- You miss me.
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277. Well...
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278. you missed me.
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279. I really did.
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280. Excuse me.
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281. Our date is not over.
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282. Now, good day, sir.
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283. - But, Fez...
- I said good day.
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284. Fez, I'm not going anywhere.
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285. Fine.
Then good day.
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286. - Fez!
- I said good day!
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287. Lucy, these brownies are wonderful.
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288. They make me feel silly.
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289. Don't you just love
those dried mint flakes?
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290. Someone sold 'em to me off the street!
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291. Um, I don't think these
are mint flakes. I'm flyin'!
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292. Lucy, you got
some 'splainin' to do.
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