1. Donna, have you noticed that every time
we do the...
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2. What we just did...
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3. it is...
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4. always fun?
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5. - Eric, you're so cute.
- Ow. Ow!
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6. Donna, I think by "cute" you mean...
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7. ruggedly handsome.
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8. You read my mind, Eric.
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9. Oh, yeah, that's the other thing.
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10. After we do... that...
thing...
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11. I don't really feel like an "Eric."
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12. - Really?
- Uh, yeah.
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13. I think I feel more like a "Stan."
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14. Or... a "Chuck."
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15. Or a...
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16. a "Maverick."
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17. So, do you wanna go to a movie
tomorrow, Maverick?
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18. Oh, uh, I told Kelso and Fez
I'd hang out with them.
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19. Really? Oh.
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20. Hey, but, uh,
you can come too, if you want.
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21. No, it's okay.
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22. Uh, really, you should come.
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23. No. You go. Have fun.
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24. Are you sure?
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25. Sure. It's no big deal.
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26. Okay. Cool.
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27. Swedish pancakes?
What's the catch?
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28. Oh, no catch.
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29. Eat 'em while they're hot.
There's plenty.
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30. - This is a real treat, Mrs. Forman.
- Careful, Steven.
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31. There's always a string attached
to Swedish pancakes. Trust me.
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32. Mom, you only make Swedish pancakes...
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33. when something horrible's about to happen.
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34. Does someone have cancer?
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35. No, no one has horrible cancer.
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36. Now, let's just sit down as a family...
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37. and enjoy our special pancakes.
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38. Gotcha!
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39. We're all going to the nursing home
to visit Aunt Pearl.
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40. - Isn't she dead yet?
- Laurie!
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41. Well, I mean, she is old, so...
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42. maybe we should call ahead.
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43. Red, can you believe this family?
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44. Well, the Bucks
are playing the Celtics...
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45. Oh, come on! All I'm asking is for
a quick visit. Quick, quick, quick.
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46. Say, kids, how about a nice trip
to old Aunt Pearl's?
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47. - Hey!
- Thank you, Red.
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48. I don't have to go, do I? I've already
been to see her three times this year.
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49. Yeah. And I'm a virgin.
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50. God, I miss Jackie.
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51. I can't sleep.
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52. I can't think.
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53. I can still eat, but...
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54. I mean, my life has no meaning.
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55. I'm dead inside.
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56. Oh, so that's what smells.
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57. Yeah, Mr. Broken Heart...
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58. When was the last time
you took a bath, man?
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59. You're gettin' gamy.
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60. Man, I am so glad
Donna's not Jackie.
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61. But I'll tell you what...
I'm even more glad I'm not you.
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62. No offense.
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63. I gotta win Jackie back.
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64. I got it!
I'll write her a song!
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65. Maybe the best way
to get Jackie back...
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66. is to let her date other people...
foreign exchange people.
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67. No, man, I think a song
is a really great idea.
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68. How about this one:
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69. You don't love me anymore
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70. You caught me cheatin'
with a whore
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71. See? 'Cause Laurie's the whore.
You get it?
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72. Yeah.
My sister is such a whore.
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73. Yeah, I'm gonna
write Jackie a song.
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74. I gotta win her back...
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75. 'cause I can't stop the tears, man!
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76. Kelso, we've been over this.
There is no crying in the circle.
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77. And then Eric says,
"You can come if you want."
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78. "If you want?"
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79. Ouch.
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80. Right?
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81. I don't know. I think he's sorta
taking me for granted.
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82. I don't know.
Maybe I'm just overreacting.
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83. No, Donna.
You're underreacting.
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84. All men take all women
for granted...
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85. all the time.
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86. Jackie...
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87. Save yourself the heartache, Donna.
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88. Break up with Eric now,
before it's too late.
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89. Then we can be
single girls together.
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90. Ooh! We could take a cruise!
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91. I don't know.
I'm just worried.
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92. I mean, if he's
acting like this now...
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93. imagine what he'll be like
if we get, like...
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94. married or something.
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95. Gloria, I just looked at her!
She was giving me change!
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96. No, Michael.
It wasn't a look.
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97. It was a look.
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98. Oh, my!
Please don't fight.
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99. Your father will be home
any minute.
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100. Wow, Ma.
You're all dressed up.
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101. Oh, yeah! Your father's
taking me out tonight.
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102. Well, good for you, Ma.
You deserve a night out.
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103. Well, ho-ho-ho and whoop-de-do.
I'm home.
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104. Oh, hi, Archie!
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105. Ah, geez, Edith, no time for the kisses
there. The fight's about to start.
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106. But, Daddy, you told Ma
you were taking her out tonight.
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107. That's true, Arch.
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108. Shut up, you meathead you!
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109. If you ask my opinion,
maybe you just forgot.
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110. Ah, geez, Edith,
I didn't forget nothin' there.
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111. So get me a beer and stifle there.
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112. Oh, my!
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113. Oh, my God, Jackie.
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114. What am I gonna do?
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115. I don't know, Donna.
I just don't know.
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116. Oh, hi, Mr. Forman.
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117. Go talk on your own damn porch!
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118. So, you been playin'
much bingo, Pearl?
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119. Oh, for God's sakes, Kitty!
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120. I ate your damn pudding.
So go!
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121. Laurie, say something nice.
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122. Fine.
"Something nice."
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123. That's my magazine!
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124. Nobody needs to see that.
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125. Get out!
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126. You know, it's weird...
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127. but I thought
after me and Michael broke up...
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128. I wouldn't wanna
hang out here anymore.
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129. Yep.
That's what we were hopin'.
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130. But I think if I left,
you'd really miss me.
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131. Right?
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132. I, uh... I suppose...
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133. that, um, you know,
it's important...
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134. when you have a bad breakup...
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135. that you find friends to, uh...
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136. uh, sympathetic... uh, stuff...
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137. um, support and, uh...
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138. I don't know.
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139. Right.
So, let's go to the mall.
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140. No, I meant friends like Donna.
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141. Or... not me.
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142. But I notice you're alone a lot.
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143. And I'm alone a lot.
So let's be alone together.
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144. Look!
We're alone right now!
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145. That's not really
a very good reason for us to...
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146. Wait.
Let's go to Sizzler.
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147. They've got a salad bar.
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148. It's all you can eat.
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149. Plus five different colors of Jell-O.
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150. I'll buy.
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151. You've been through a rough time.
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152. Let's go, kid.
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153. "A Song for Jackie"
by Michael Kelso.
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154. You may think this song is stupid
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155. So I made a call to
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156. Cupid
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157. And he told me to put my heart out
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158. On my sleeve
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159. So we can retrieve
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160. Our love from the
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161. Trash, trash, trash
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162. So, what do you think?
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163. Well, I think that...
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164. you should draw her a picture.
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165. Hey, pal, you think you're funny?
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166. Well, just wait, 'cause someday Donna's
gonna crush your stupid little heart too.
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167. Yeah, see, I don't think so...
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168. because I've taken special precautions
to prevent that very thing from happening.
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169. Uh, like for instance, I...
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170. don't sleep with other women.
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171. Yeah? Well...
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172. that's only 'cause you're chicken.
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173. Hey!
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174. Hey, baby. What say
you grab Papa a root beer, huh?
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175. Oh, my God.
I cannot look.
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176. Listen, you worm.
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177. I am not your slave or a waitress
or your damn maid.
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178. Don't get Archie Bunker-y on me,
or I will kick your ass to the moon!
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179. Hey, Eric, what rhymes with "Donna"?
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180. I didn't mean to cheat
but she forced me
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181. She downright coerced me
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182. Hey, that's kinda good.
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183. Man...
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184. I just asked her for a root beer.
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185. You tried to control her, Eric,
and the woman always controls the man.
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186. - That's true.
- Donna does not control me!
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187. Oh, Eric, you have
so much to learn, my friend.
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188. Yeah. I wish Jackie
was still controlling me.
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189. I love being on the short leash.
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190. Put the short leash
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191. Back on me
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192. Kelso, uh, let me
see that for a second.
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193. Yeah.
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194. You know what's kinda funny?
That was your guitar.
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195. Burn!
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196. Hyde, those boots
look really nice on you.
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197. You know, Jackie,
you buying me boots is just wrong.
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198. You shoulda let me shoplift 'em.
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199. No, Hyde, I want you to have them.
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200. Besides, I'm saving a fortune now that
I don't have to feed and clothe Michael.
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201. - Well, if you insist.
- I do.
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202. So, I was thinking,
tomorrow night we should...
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203. Whoa, okay!
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204. All right, come on, now, Jackie.
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205. This was a one-time-only thing.
All right?
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206. If you're trying to bribe me with
these boots, you can just take 'em back.
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207. I see.
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208. Oh, what are you
gonna do now? Cry?
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209. Oh, man.
You're crying.
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210. Hey, Jackie.
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211. Come on, man.
It's gonna be fine. Okay?
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212. You're gonna be fine.
This whole thing is gonna be fine. All right?
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213. No! Bad Jackie!
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214. B-But, Hyde, I thought we agreed
that you were alone, and I was alone...
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215. Jackie, I'm trying to help you out here,
so just listen to me.
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216. You gotta realize
that you can do better than Kelso.
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217. But what if I never
find anybody else?
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218. You will, man.
You'll find somebody great.
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219. See, I myself don't like you.
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220. I find you abrasive.
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221. But if I didn't know you,
and I had never talked to you...
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222. I'd think you were totally hot.
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223. Thank you, Hyde.
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224. Anything for you, doll.
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225. Pearl, honey, please come out.
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226. Laurie, she kinda likes you.
Do something.
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227. Aunt Pearl!
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228. Why don't you come out, and you can
show me your damn scrapbooks again?
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229. Every time you people come,
I gotta get dressed and put my teeth in.
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230. You're not worth it!
So get lost!
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231. Now can we go?
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232. No.
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233. Okay, fine. I give up.
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234. Let's just go.
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235. I just hope when I get old
someone comes to visit me.
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236. Don't be ridiculous, Mom.
Eric'll come.
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237. - Well, I'm gonna go warm the car up.
- No, Laurie.
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238. This is important to your mother.
So sit down.
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239. Come on, Pearl!
There's a Bucks game on!
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240. The Bucks, huh?
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241. Well, now, see?
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242. This is nice.
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243. The only thing that keeps me alive
is watching the Bucks lose.
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244. Go, Bucks.
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245. Michael, I don't
wanna talk to you!
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246. No, you're right. Okay? Because words
don't do it. That's why I wrote this song.
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247. Oh, God.
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248. Jackie, please take me
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249. Back-ee
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250. I'll get
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251. The knack, see
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252. Okay, Michael, stop!
Michael, stop.
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253. Yes, please, Kelso, stop.
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254. I cannot take this anymore.
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255. This is how you serenade a woman.
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256. Bésame
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257. Bésame mucho
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258. Como si fuera esta noche
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259. La última vez
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260. What are you doing?
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261. Yeah.
What are you doing?
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262. Um, this is my school song
from back home.
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263. I don't love you.
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264. Hey.
What's going on?
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265. Nothing.
Nothing at all.
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266. Thank you, Hyde, for tonight.
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267. It was very special.
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268. Hyde!
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269. Isn't she nice?
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270. Hey, fellas.
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271. You like my new boots?
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272. Then, Eric says to Donna...
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273. "I cannot go out with you
because I'm going out with the guys."
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274. Oh, geez!
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275. What? I don't think
that's the problem.
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276. No. What's-his-name's right.
That's the problem.
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277. I don't think I did anything wrong.
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278. - I'm not gonna apologize to Donna.
- Oh, yeah?
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279. What? Why?
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280. Here's the thing. You're assuming
that you're good enough for Donna.
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281. And you're not.
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282. - Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
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283. - Just like I'm not good enough for your mother.
- Okay, well...
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284. Yeah, that's true.
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285. - Watch it. I'm trying to help you out here.
- I'm sorry. Yes, sir.
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286. Look, do you really think
I wanted to spend the whole damn day...
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287. sitting in a room with a woman
who hates the Bucks and smells like cabbage?
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288. Well, I didn't.
But that's the price you pay, Son.
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289. Now, you go call Donna...
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290. before she realizes how much
better off she is without you.
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291. Go on, now. Go!
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292. Go! You heard him! Go!
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293. But what about...
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294. Blah, blah, blah.
Make the call, little man.
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295. Listen, Donna...
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296. No, wait.
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297. I've been thinking about...
you know, what happened...
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298. and I realize I may have overreacted.
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299. It's just I'm a little vulnerable...
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300. now that our relationship
has... matured.
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301. Donna, no apology necessary.
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302. I welcome your insane behavior
and criticism.
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303. Don't be a jerk, Eric.
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304. No, no, uh...
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305. I'm actually...
I'm being serious.
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306. I'm willing to do...
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307. whatever it takes
for us to be together.
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308. Whatever it takes...
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309. it's worth it.
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310. Well...
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311. thank you.
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312. So, uh...
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313. For future reference...
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314. do I have to ask you,
uh, before I go out with my friends?
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315. No.
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316. Uh... yes.
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317. Sometimes.
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318. So, uh, how will I know which times?
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319. Well, you'll know afterwards,
when I get mad.
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320. - Okay.
- Yeah.
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321. Uh, is there, uh, maybe
a better system than that?
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322. No. I can't really think of one, no.
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323. - Okay. Fair enough.
- Okay.
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324. I'm really sorry.
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325. Me too.
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326. So, uh, I blew off the guys tonight...
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327. to hang out with you.
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328. So my calendar is wide open.
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329. I'm... I'm here for you, Donna.
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330. Oh, that's too bad.
I'm hanging out with Jackie.
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331. But you can come if you want.
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332. That's... really not funny.
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333. - So, Aunt Pearl...
- Shh!
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334. - I was wondering if...
- Shh!
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335. Okay.
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