Ted Lasso 3x3

1. - Morning. - Morning. Made you some coffee.

2. I don't do caffeine.

3. Right. Your body is a temple.

4. Well, I don't know about that. More like a church in an airport.

5. Big day for Richmond.

6. Thought you didn't know anything about football.

7. I don't. But I know who Zava is.

8. Of course.

9. Text me when you get back from Dubai?

10. - Safe flight. - Thanks. Safe driving.

11. I am a strong and capable man.

12. Bollocks.

13. Okay. So obviously Zava's gonna be moving into our starting lineup.

14. Which means, if my maths...

15. are corrects,

16. we're gonna have to sit someone.

17. Who's it gonna be?

18. Well, I think it's gotta be Colin.

19. Ouch.

20. Colin's a chameleon. He can change depending on a situation.

21. Bigger issue is, you put Zava up front,

22. either Jamie or Dani's gonna have to drop back to midfield.

23. So, who do we think will take the news better? Dani or Jamie?

24. Dani.

25. Yeah. Nah, Jamie's a lot like my mom's Precious Moments figurines collection.

26. - I have no idea what that means. - He's a fragile little bitch.

27. Brevity is nice, but sometimes clarity is the true soul of wit. Thank you, Roy.

28. It's almost ten o'clock, we should probably get going.

29. You feeling okay?

30. A little bit nervous. Had some diarrhea earlier this morning.

31. Please don't put that in the book.

32. I've never been clear on the spelling, so I probably won't.

33. D-I-A, double R, H-E-A.

34. Except in England, you have a silent O, as in, "Oh, no, you've got diarrhea."

35. I'm in the same boat, Higgy bear.

36. My tummy's got more knots in it than Wayne's World 1 and 2 smooshed together.

37. I don't know why. I've been around great athletes all my life.

38. Heck, Roy, you're a great athlete.

39. Not like Zava.

40. Come on, don't sell yourself short.

41. If anything, sell yourself tall and get it altered later.

42. No, Zava's different. Just watch.

43. We can't just watch. We gotta make this fella part of the team.

44. Coaching a superstar can't be all, "How do you solve a problem like Maria?"

45. Although, if you ask me, the Nazis were the real problem in that story.

46. - Am I right, Coach? - Yeah. Come on, Mother Superior,

47. - let's have a little perspective. - Yeah, exactly, yeah.

48. Sorry, Roy, I know you don't like all this musical theater talk

49. - this early in the morning. - No, I'll allow it.

50. I used to fancy Julie Andrews. Well, I still do, to be fair.

51. The voice, the eyes, the way you know she'd tell you off if you'd been bad.

52. Yeah.

53. All right, we gotta do it. All-time favorite Julie Andrews character. Go!

54. Fuck it. Maria!

55. - Resolute as always. Coach, what you got? - Eliza Doolittle.

56. Audio-only performance, I love that.

57. - Professor Higgins. - Come on you Poppins!

58. Same, I'm right there with you.

59. Trent, you have one? You don't have to. You got one?

60. Clarisse Renaldi, Queen of Genovia.

61. Fuck yeah, Princess Diaries.

62. Deep cut. Zagged.

63. Wow. Wow. This is nice.

64. I can't believe it's really happening.

65. When I was a boy, I played in Zava boots,

66. I slept in Zava boots,

67. I made love for the first time to Zava boots.

68. Think you mean "in Zava boots."

69. No.

70. Hey, you know, last night at the restaurant,

71. as the painters were finishing up,

72. I spent a very pleasurable hour on YouTube watching Zava's greatest goals.

73. By the end, my head was spinning.

74. Though it may also have been the paint fumes.

75. The way Zava moves on the pitch... Like a panther.

76. So sexy, eh?

77. Sound a bit gay, bruv.

78. Well, I'm gay...

79. Huh?

80. for Zava, I mean.

81. That's true. Some men have a charisma that transcends orientation.

82. Paul Newman, Idris Elba, Norm Macdonald.

83. Zava is definitely one of those charisma unicorns.

84. Okay, you guys have convinced me. I'll have sex with Zava.

85. Hey, what's up, man?

86. What the fuck is this?

87. All right, fellas, come on. Showtime. Let's everybody head out to the pitch.

88. - Let's go. - Hey Jamie, come on, man.

89. Hurry up and get dressed. We don't wanna keep our newest teammate waiting.

90. Let's do this.

91. We want Zava! Come on!

92. This is what you get.

93. Where the hell is he?

94. Leslie! We do have a signed contract, don't we?

95. Of course. We have an e-signature. That's legally binding.

96. I think.

97. I'll make a call.

98. His agent hasn't heard from him,

99. but she's tracked his phone which is currently in Mykonos.

100. If he has changed his mind again,

101. I'm going to look like an absolute arsehole.

102. Maybe we can try and cheer them up somehow?

103. Do you want me to take my shirt off and run across the pitch?

104. You must be Shandy.

105. Shandy's shadowing me for the day. To get the hang of things, you know?

106. It's so nice to finally meet you.

107. I'd love to go for a coffee and pick your brain sometime.

108. Like, how tall are you?

109. - Shandy. - Yeah?

110. Would you go to concessions and start selling merch at half price?

111. - Great idea. - Yeah, thank you.

112. - Keep your shirt on. - Right. Of course.

113. Bye, babe.

114. She's a live one.

115. Shit. Now I'm late.

116. For what?

117. Nothing. It's silly. I'll tell you later.

118. I love mysterious Rebecca.

119. Hey, guys. Are we sure that Zava has the right address?

120. I'd hate to think he's sitting in the middle of Virginia right now

121. waiting on us, you know?

122. So, I just talked to legal about Zava's contract.

123. An e-signature is 100% binding.

124. Tiny wrinkle, instead of signing his name, he signed "You're welcome."

125. Shit. What are we going to do?

126. Hey, look, superstars play by their own rules.

127. Back in '98, I waited over three hours for Public Enemy

128. to take the stage of this joint called The Cubby Bear.

129. When a man with a giant clock around his neck is that late,

130. it ain't about time.

131. He's making a statement.

132. Right, I'm calling it. We're going to go upstairs and figure out what we do next.

133. Leslie, I want you to talk to the crowd and tell them something.

134. Of course, Rebecca. I got this.

135. Back in uni, my deejay name was Damage Control.

136. I didn't know you deejayed.

137. I didn't actually, but I had the name ready if I ever started.

138. - Shit. Right, come on, let's go. - Yeah.

139. Welcome to the Dogtrack.

140. Who the fuck are you?

141. I can't believe this is happening. Why does anyone put up with this lunatic?

142. Because as humans, we adapt to accommodate genius.

143. Who is the greatest actor alive?

144. Or was, before he retired.

145. - Daniel Day-Lewis. - Tony Curtis.

146. You said alive? Jackie Chan. Wait, you said retired? Daniel Day-Lewis.

147. Exactly. When he gets in character, he stays in character,

148. and everyone else adapts to him.

149. Did you know, that when he made Lincoln

150. he actually texted Sally Field as Abraham Lincoln?

151. Well, that's ridiculous. Abraham Lincoln couldn't text.

152. Exactly. Every time he looked down at his phone,

153. his hat would fall off.

154. Look, this Zava might be a genius, but he's definitely a self-absorbed prick.

155. Your desk is covered in biscuit crumbs.

156. What the fuck are you doing? We've waited two hours for you.

157. Time is a construct, like gender and many of the alphabets.

158. Get out of my chair!

159. This is your manager.

160. Hey, how you doing? I'm Ted Lasso.

161. My leader,

162. I am an empty vessel filled with gold.

163. I am your rock. Mold me.

164. Well, hey, if you score goals like you talk,

165. we gonna be just fine, buddy.

166. Right. And this is Keeley Jones.

167. - She handles all our publicity. - Hi.

168. My queen.

169. My actions today have made your job much more difficult.

170. No, don't worry about it. No such thing as bad press, right?

171. My integrity disallows me to agree with that statement.

172. - For God's sake. - He's allergic to hummus.

173. - Yeah, I know, I know. - Oh, my God. You're here.

174. And you are there.

175. And this is Leslie Higgins, our director of football.

176. You are the glue.

177. Thank you very much.

178. I will go see the team now.

179. Do you even know where you're going?

180. I do not!

181. Are you kidding me? Wowie zowie.

182. You know what, maybe I oughta tag along in case he gets nervous.

183. Seems like he can be a little bit of a wallflower.

184. Great. And now I'm in a rush.

185. Leslie, tell me, how did the damage control go?

186. - It was a mess, but he was adorable. - Thank you.

187. - Who is this? - This is Shandy. We work together.

188. And she's a great friend of mine.

189. - Hey, did Zava come through here? - He's here? You saw him?

190. Yeah, he was upstairs just a second ago.

191. - What? He's here? - He's here!

192. - In this building? - Yes. He should be here.

193. Oh, my God.

194. Okay, maybe we should all just split up and go—

195. Oy.

196. He touched me.

197. He's like an angel.

198. Why are you downgrading him? He is clearly a god.

199. I will begin by addressing the most important person in this room.

200. Which of you is the kit man?

201. Yeah, he usually—

202. That's me. I'm Will.

203. I am...

204. - Will. - Yep.

205. I too worked as a ball boy for a club when I was just 11 years old.

206. I'm 25.

207. Your passion...

208. is why I play.

209. And you.

210. My team.

211. My brothers.

212. Breathe with me.

213. Right now? Okay, here we go.

214. We are now one.

215. There is no me.

216. There is no you.

217. There is only the "we"...

218. and the "us."

219. And the we in us.

220. Okay, so...

221. Okay.

222. Coaches, let's go in here,

223. have a word really quickly, before he scurries off.

224. Everybody else, just go ahead and keep breathing amongst yourselves.

225. He's so much more down-to-earth than I imagined.

226. - Right? - Wow.

227. Which one of these is me?

228. You're the fucking coach.

229. You know what, we were thinking the top right.

230. - Fuck's sake. - Or left, or left, or left.

231. Whichever one you want really.

232. I am very excited to be here.

233. - Hey, we're very excited— - I will see you tomorrow.

234. Yep.

235. He's tall.

236. Rebecca?

237. - Tish. Hello there. - Come in.

238. Come through.

239. Please make yourself at home.

240. Yeah, just take a seat. Relax.

241. Would you like something to drink?

242. Water? Tea? Or cocktail, perhaps?

243. Sure, I'll have a White Russian, thanks.

244. Yeah, I'm afraid I'm fresh out of Kahlúa

245. after hosting a Big Lebowski themed birthday party for a colleague.

246. But would straight vodka suffice?

247. I was literally just making a joke.

248. I know. Which is why I made two.

249. You have been through a lot recently.

250. The dark soul of one man just disconnected you from your own.

251. And then another beautiful and worthy soul, in a man half your age,

252. arrived exactly at the right time. And the wrong time.

253. Sorry, how do you know that?

254. Well, I speak to your mother once a month for the last six years.

255. So, Rebecca, how can I help you?

256. I'm not sure you can.

257. A skeptic. Well, I shouldn't be surprised.

258. Because you're supposed to be a psychic?

259. Oh, no.

260. Because your mother was a skeptic.

261. Are you familiar with kintsugi?

262. It's the Japanese art of mending broken things with gold.

263. It—

264. The idea is that we embrace the flaws and the imperfections,

265. and in doing so create something much stronger and more beautiful.

266. So...

267. we are going to place our hands on the bowl.

268. Would you?

269. Sorry, what's that—

270. Smells very odd in here all of a sudden.

271. Thank you.

272. Let's begin.

273. I can see something.

274. It's in your hand. An object. It's very special.

275. Is it a bowl?

276. It's a green matchbook.

277. Sorry, it's what?

278. A green matchbook. How lovely.

279. Sorry, who cares about a green matchbook?

280. Now I can hear something.

281. Shite!

282. Oh, for God's sake.

283. No, just one at a time, please.

284. I—

285. Shite in wh— Shite in nin— Sh—

286. Yeah, shite in nining armor.

287. "A shite in nining armor"?

288. - Does that mean something to you? - Yes, it does mean something to me.

289. It means you're even more batshit crazy than I—

290. Shut up, I can hear something else. It's thunder and lightning and you.

291. And you're upside down, and you're drenched.

292. But you're safe.

293. Okay, that— that's enough I think for today.

294. But thank you so much for your time and for sharing your,

295. what is it, your gift?

296. We can just tell my mum I did the whole session. Yes?

297. You will have a family.

298. Sorry, what did you just say?

299. You're going to be a mother.

300. Fuck you.

301. I've always thought you were completely harmless

302. because my mum could afford you, but you are actually dangerous.

303. And you're fucking cruel.

304. So, boys, exciting stuff.

305. We've got a lot of interview requests coming in for all of you.

306. I'd love to get the word out about the restaurant.

307. Well, right now the press would like to focus on Zava joining the team.

308. Yeah, okay.

309. I would rather talk about Zava than myself any day.

310. What do you want us to say?

311. Well, that's up to you. Go for it. Say anything.

312. I would just, you know, stay positive, light. Right?

313. Or say something so shocking your interview goes viral.

314. Like you eat your own hair.

315. No, I—

316. Well... Hi, Roy.

317. Keeley, sorry to interrupt.

318. No.

319. Higgins told me to check in on some dumb interview shit.

320. I mean, some important interview shit.

321. Don't worry, nobody in the press wants to talk to you.

322. No, no. That's not actually true.

323. The press knows that Roy doesn't love doing interviews.

324. Yeah, but it's okay. I'll do one for you if you need me to.

325. - Thanks, Roy. - I'll interview you.

326. Why'd you dump my friend?

327. Ay, ay, ay.

328. You're fun.

329. Who the fuck is this?

330. This is Shandy. We work together.

331. - Why? - She's an old friend of mine.

332. That makes more sense.

333. Shandy. I definitely told you about her.

334. Oh, yeah. Shandy.

335. You used to eat your own hair, right?

336. Yeah. I did.

337. Well, nice to put a face to the hair.

338. Hey, Coach.

339. What's today's Wordle?

340. - Ethic. - Ethic.

341. You're a jerk.

342. - Hey, Jamie. How you doing? - Can I talk to you for a minute?

343. Yeah, you can talk to me as long as you want.

344. Though I do have a tendency to doze off around 1:00 a.m.

345. - What's up? - So look—

346. I know we're all excited Zava's here.

347. Yeah, I get that. But I know a lot of players like him,

348. and they're all just self-absorbed glory hunters

349. who only care about themselves.

350. Jamie,

351. don't you think that coming from you that's a little bit ironic?

352. Don't know.

353. But look, the point is, we don't need this guy.

354. I think we've got a good thing going here, and he's already fucking it all up.

355. Hey, Jamie, I hear what you're saying, man.

356. But I think we've got to give it a game or two and see what's what.

357. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, yeah. Course, yeah.

358. Well, thanks for hearing me out.

359. Aight. Thanks for speaking your mind. Please continue to do so.

360. Yeah.

361. And— And I—

362. I weren't being ironic, I was being hypocritical. That's it.

363. Is that right?

364. - Yes or no? - Yes.

365. So that was actually ironic.

366. Good afternoon. There is an electricity today at Nelson Road,

367. and the cause of all this excitement goes by one name, Zava.

368. Like Pelé, if every letter was different.

369. There are more VIPs here than London Fashion Week.

370. I assume. I don't know.

371. This is all 'cause you got Zava, babe.

372. You've made Richmond fucking global.

373. All right. Pop quiz, hotshots.

374. What do you get when you combine one of Hugh Jackman's finest film roles

375. with a fancy-pants New York City getaway?

376. Jean Valjean Catskills?

377. No. That's a great answer, Sam. How do you know about the Catskills?

378. Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

379. Yeah. That's a good show.

380. Yeah. I respect that. Word.

381. No, the answer I was looking for actually was today's opponents, Wolverhampton.

382. - Full name, Wolverhampton Wanderers. - Thank you.

383. - Also known as the Wanderers. - No.

384. Also known as Wolves.

385. Okay. So, our opponents today are the Wolverhampton Wandering Wolves.

386. - No. - Just Wolverhampton or Wolves.

387. Got it. So when the team known as Wolverhampton, or Wolves,

388. is wandering around the pitch today trying to score some soccer goals,

389. here's the game plan.

390. Take it away, fellas.

391. All right, here's your starters. Here's your subs.

392. Now remember, this 4-5-1 is not about dropping back.

393. It's about getting fucking service into the box for Zava.

394. Got it?

395. Are you all right?

396. I am still a strong and capable man.

397. You're all right.

398. - All free kicks will be taken by... - Zava.

399. - All penalties... - Zava.

400. - All corners... - Anyone to Zava.

401. That's it. You fellas set 'em up, and our man Zava's gonna—

402. Well, he's gonna knock 'em down. Okay? Yeah.

403. Okay. Let's bring it in. Come on. Here.

404. Zava.

405. Zava.

406. Am I supposed to hit the gong or something?

407. What's up with that shit?

408. No.

409. Okay.

410. I am ready.

411. Okay. Nicely done.

412. Okay. Here we go.

413. All right. Okay, Captain, why don't you go ahead and flip it—

414. Richmond on three. One, two, three.

415. Richmond!

416. He's strong.

417. Yeah.

418. - The Precious Moments figurine. - Little bitch.

419. - How much time we got, Coach? - Exactly four minutes.

420. Okay, great.

421. I'm gonna call Henry real quick. Wish him luck.

422. His soccer team starts the playoffs today.

423. - Nice. - Yeah.

424. - Uh-oh. - What's wrong?

425. I can't find my phone.

426. Shoot, I know where it is.

427. I left it sitting on my bathroom sink. Dang it.

428. That's what you get for playing Tetris on the toilet.

429. Yeah, that and numb legs.

430. You know, that's all right, I'll persevere. I'll go old school.

431. - Uh-oh. - What now?

432. I can't remember Michelle's cell phone number.

433. Yeah.

434. - Is that a good thing or a bad thing? - I think it's just a thing.

435. Well, yeah.

436. - You okay? - Yeah. No, no.

437. I'll just call the house. No, I— No, I'm good. I'll be right out.

438. Henry, we gotta go! And don't forget your shin guards!

439. Okay!

440. - Thanks again for driving. - Yeah, no problem.

441. - You still have a landline? - Yeah. I don't know why.

442. Are you gonna answer it?

443. No. It's probably a telemarketer.

444. Henry, let's go!

445. May I answer it?

446. I have a thing for messing with telemarketers.

447. - Knock yourself out. - Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

448. Watch this.

449. Hello. You've reached the house of Michelle Keller.

450. Who by the way is doing amazing things with orange slices these days.

451. You're gonna be amazed. It's really spectacular.

452. How can I help you?

453. Well, hey, Mr. Former President.

454. Boy, have I got a bone to pick with you.

455. Hello?

456. Hello?

457. Ted.

458. - Yeah. Who is this? - This is Jacob Bryanson.

459. Dr. Jacob?

460. Yeah. Ted, you can just call me Jake.

461. Dr. Jacob.

462. Henry, come on!

463. Michelle. Michelle.

464. - What? - It's Ted.

465. Shit.

466. - Hi, Ted. - Hey.

467. Found 'em!

468. Hey, sweetie. Do you want to talk to Daddy really quick?

469. - Dad. - Hey, buddy.

470. We're playing the Dragons today, and they're undefeated.

471. Yeah, well, you know they ain't gonna be undefeated for long. Am I right?

472. Hey, look, I was just calling to wish you good luck.

473. Good luck to you too, Dad.

474. And please tell Zava that many of my friends' moms like his abs.

475. Will do.

476. - Bye. - Bye.

477. Thank you, sweetie.

478. Ted, just one second, okay?

479. Do you wanna wait in the car?

480. - Do you wanna take him to the— Thank you. - Yes. Of course. Come on, bud.

481. You ever seen a sunroof? Pretty cool.

482. Hi. Sorry.

483. Can we chat when we both have more time?

484. There's a lot to catch up on.

485. Yeah. No, of course.

486. All good. I'll talk to you later.

487. Ted, I— Good luck today.

488. Thanks.

489. The Richmond faithful return to their beloved Dogtrack

490. for the first time this Premier League season,

491. and surely when they see the name Zava on the team sheet,

492. they'll think they've died and gone to heaven.

493. Come on! Let's go! Let's do it!

494. Tartt.

495. What's he doing now?

496. Yeah?

497. Get open. I will find you.

498. Come on, boys! Come on!

499. Let's go, boys.

500. My word, he's done it!

501. Zava has scored from the halfway line seconds into his debut,

502. and the Dogtrack is in a state of rapture.

503. - Yeah. All right. - He might be pretty good.

504. - Here we go. - I could get used to this shit.

505. - Zava! Zava! - Yes. Yes. Yay.

506. Bumbercatch with the cross. It's a tricky one for Zava.

507. - I cannot believe what I just saw. - What?

508. Zava with the scorpion kick, and Burnley feel the sting.

509. Om.

510. Om.

511. Richmond up 2-nil over Palace, who have simply had no answer for Zava.

512. The corner comes in,

513. And it's that man again! Zava, with a towering header!

514. Soaring like an eagle amongst penguins.

515. - How do you do? - Morning.

516. I think it's good.

517. And then maybe do a—

518. I think we should put it in. Do you think we should?

519. Rojas finds Tartt.

520. Still seeking his first goal of the season, is this the moment?

521. No, it's Zava again!

522. Zava, Zava, Zava, Zava!

523. He may have stolen the goal from Jamie Tartt,

524. but you can't argue with the instincts of a champion.

525. If you're a Richmond fan,

526. you've gotta feel that with Zava everything is going your way.

527. I got a job!

528. Thank you.

529. I mean, the whole thing is just crazy, you know.

530. He was supposed to be helping us get back together.

531. You know what I mean?

532. It always bothered me the way he'd be like, "I'm sorry, our time is up."

533. Sorry, our time is up.

534. Nah, that's not quite it. It was a lot more condescending.

535. It was more like, "I'm so sorry."

536. Ted, I'm talking about our session. Our time is up.

537. Oh, right. Sorry I didn't get to ask any personal questions.

538. I was just yammering.

539. Wow. Gone. Okay.

540. Gotta respect it.

541. George, is Ted Lasso the coach of the year?

542. What? Writing the name Zava on the team sheet?

543. Come on. Gimme a break, Jeff. That's not coaching.

544. No. What Nathan Shelley's doing over at West Ham,

545. now that is a tactician at work.

546. Yeah, I like West Ham.

547. But I love Zava.

548. Don't we all, mate?

549. We're in stoppage time of what has been an unforgettable contest.

550. Richmond surely would be happy with a draw,

551. but here's Rojas with a chance to steal an historic victory

552. over Manchester United.

553. Zava with a God-like bicycle kick in injury time.

554. And surely Richmond have won it.

555. A Zava hat trick bringing their first ever victory in the Theatre of Dreams.

556. Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah!

557. Fuck it!

558. And with this victory over Brentford

559. that's six wins on the bounce for Richmond

560. in this Zava-fueled miracle streak.

561. You ever think your book would be a fucking fairy tale?

562. Come on!

563. Yo! Yo, yo, yo! Hey! Guys, guys, guys. Yo, yo. Check it out.

564. Listen. Tomorrow, everybody is invited to the restaurant.

565. We're still a few weeks from officially opening.

566. So please, lower your expectations.

567. But it's gonna be an open bar!

568. Zava, Zava, Zava, Zava, Zava, Zava!

569. - Okay. Okay. What do I need? Hey. - Hey. Don't serve my food with that face.

570. Okay.

571. Oh, man.

572. - Hey. - Sam, this place is lovely.

573. - Have a great night. - Thank you. Nice seeing you.

574. - Super great place. - Yeah.

575. Thank you. I'll come and catch you, yeah?

576. - Peace. - All right. I'll see you later.

577. - Hello. Okay. This is for you. - The smell.

578. - That's for you. - Nice.

579. Mate, this is the best moimoi I've ever tasted in my life.

580. Thanks, man.

581. - Look at me. I'm not kidding. - Hey.

582. Thank you. Thanks.

583. Sam, is Zava coming? I made him a friendship bracelet.

584. Well, I invited him. I guess we'll see.

585. Cool, man.

586. Okay, you guys. Enjoy the food, okay?

587. - All right? - Cool, bro.

588. - Colin. - Hi, hi.

589. - Doing good? - Yeah, you okay?

590. Boyos, this is my pal Michael.

591. - Hiya. - What's up, man?

592. - World's greatest wingman. - Yeah. Tough gig.

593. "Hello, young lady. My friend's a professional footballer.

594. May I spend all night talking to your cross-eyed friend

595. while he hits on you poorly?"

596. What did you decide after Tish's reading?

597. - Are you gonna go back and see her? - No. No, no.

598. It's not for me. If I wanted to be scammed out of all my money,

599. I'd go the old-fashioned route and become obsessively religious.

600. Cheers to that.

601. Well, if it isn't Beauty and the Stink!

602. Get out! Sassy!

603. Oh, my God!

604. Hey, ladies.

605. - Hi. - Welcome to Ola's.

606. - I'm so happy to see all of you. - Thanks for having us, Sam.

607. No, thank you for coming. Please, make sure you enjoy yourselves, okay?

608. - Absolutely. Thanks. - Cheers!

609. Thank you.

610. You are such a twat.

611. - Oi. What can I get you to drink? - Champagne, please.

612. Champagne? Can we get another champagne?

613. Is Ted here?

614. Told you.

615. You want a beer, Coach?

616. Michelle and Henry went horseback riding with Dr. Jacob today.

617. We'll take two shots of whiskey. A single and a double.

618. A triple. Two.

619. Weinstein's cock!

620. Are you cheating on me?

621. Yeah, I am.

622. With you.

623. Man, y'all's baggage just matches right up, don't it?

624. See you in a bit.

625. What the fuck do you want?

626. You frowning while we're on a win streak, that's a bad look.

627. You frowned your whole career.

628. No, I never smiled. That's different.

629. Here we go.

630. - Good game. Good game. - Yes.

631. For fuck's sake.

632. There he is, God's gift to those who have everything.

633. Best player on the team.

634. Fuck off.

635. It's true.

636. You used to be the best. Now you're not. It happens.

637. You thought I was the best?

638. Yeah. I mean, you still could be if you weren't such a pre-Madonna.

639. - Did you just call me a pre-Madonna? - Yeah.

640. It's prima donna.

641. Who the fuck says "pre-Madonna"? What the fuck does that even mean?

642. It means before Madonna, female vocalists didn't have to work that hard.

643. Are you mad?

644. You never heard of Tina Turner? Fucking Stevie Nicks?

645. Fuck you. Point is, he's the best player on the team.

646. And right now, all you gotta do is try and keep up with him.

647. Fuck that. I don't wanna just keep up with him.

648. I wanna be better than him.

649. I could train you.

650. But only if you fucking mean it.

651. Yeah. I do mean it.

652. When do we start then?

653. Right fucking now.

654. Come on, man.

655. So sorry. We'll take care of it.

656. We start tomorrow. 4:00 a.m.

657. Clean that up.

658. All right.

659. I'm gonna do a lap. If Ted's already gone,

660. I'm telling you right now, I will be attempting to scale Mount Zava.

661. Adieu.

662. Adieu. Good luck.

663. Hi. Hello. Hi.

664. Hi. Hello.

665. I'm Shandy. I do PR for the club.

666. It's so great you've come down here, but don't be a dick.

667. Show some love on your socials, yeah?

668. I like your confident energy. It's off-putting.

669. - Thank you. - You're welcome.

670. That's really nice.

671. So how's it going with Shandy? Is she fitting in?

672. Yes, she's great. I love how not shy she is.

673. Yeah.

674. Wish me luck.

675. Okay. See you later.

676. Oi. There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.

677. Excuse me. One moment.

678. Hey, hey.

679. Thank you so much for coming. Honestly, it means so much to me.

680. Sam, tell me, where does your restaurant source its avocados from?

681. West African cuisine doesn't typically feature a lot of avocados.

682. Not yet.

683. - Marlboro Man. - Hey. Look who it is.

684. I didn't know you work here.

685. Well, how you going?

686. - I'm doing all right. Yeah. - Yeah?

687. Well, my ex-wife's dating our ex-marriage counselor,

688. so, you know, that's new.

689. Wow, that's borderline unethical.

690. Yeah, well, I mean, it all started a year and a half after we were seeing him,

691. so I guess that's— You ever have anything like that happen with you and a client?

692. Ted, I'm a child psychologist.

693. Right, right.

694. So, yes. Twice.

695. Hey. Classic Sassy. I love it.

696. - Classic Sass. - Classic Sassy.

697. I got you a surprise.

698. What's this?

699. Thank you.

700. Oh, my God.

701. Don't just stand there. Pass them out.

702. Hey.

703. - What? - You're being really clingy right now.

704. I am so sorry.

705. Hey.

706. Ladies, a little something to commemorate the evening

707. and to remind you to come back again and again, right?

708. Thank you.

709. No worries.

710. So chic.

711. Green.

712. It's a green matchbook.

713. You okay?

714. - Yes. Another round? - All right. Yeah. Okay.

715. - Get another round. - Can we get another round, please?

716. - Thank you, Sam. - No worries.

717. This place is wonderful.

718. - Food's fantastic. - Thank you so much for coming.

719. - Okay, listen, get home safe, okay? - Okay.