Taskmaster 1x1

1. Argh!

2. Hello, I am Greg Davies and this is Taskmaster.

3. In this show, I, Greg Davies,

4. make some accomplished but needy comedians do stupid things for me.

5. Why? Because I can. I'm a powerful man.

6. Look at me. Thank you.

7. They have no idea how each other did, but they will soon find out.

8. I shall be judging both what they did and how they did it.

9. My word is final. The contestants will definitely respect me.

10. Let's meet them now.

11. First, he's wearing a suit because he's both professional

12. and from a different generation to the others. It's...

13. It's the very smart Frank Skinner!

14. Secondly, a man who's chosen not to wear a suit

15. and who clearly needs a haircut - Josh Widdicombe.

16. Next up, a woman I once genuinely witnessed

17. calling for her mum because she'd seen a mouse -

18. Roisin Conaty!

19. A man who has quickly gained a reputation in comedy

20. for being livid all the time - Romesh Ranganathan.

21. And, finally, a future poet laureate -

22. if some massive poet disaster happens - Tim Key!

23. And, as always, I am both aided and fluffed

24. by my personal assistant, Alex Horne.

25. Shall we have a little bit of banter? OK.

26. Phwoar! So, er... thanks for giving me this opportunity.

27. You're welcome.

28. So, Alex - tell us about the first task.

29. OK, well, I think you're tremendous and as always, the first task...

30. ..is the prize task.

31. Each of the contestants have brought in

32. one of their own possessions for the prize haul,

33. and they're going to be awarded points,

34. depending on how impressed you are by them.

35. Yeah. Yes.

36. And tonight, you've asked them to bring in their most unusual item.

37. And that's what I'll be scoring this first round on, then -

38. how unusual their unusual item is.

39. Frank Skinner, what was your unusual item that you decided to donate?

40. I have brought in a pair of grape scissors

41. and yes, they have grapes on their shaft.

42. When I first saw them,

43. I thought they were haemorrhoid tweezers, but no.

44. Has anyone in this room ever heard of grape cutters before?

45. Yeah. Yeah?

46. Huh, doesn't sound that unusual, Frank.

47. Josh, what did you bring in?

48. I brought in a football, signed by the Plymouth Argyll squad

49. that lost in the Division Two 1994 play-off semifinals.

50. Did they use invisible ink?

51. I don't know what's happened to the signatures. It is unusual!

52. It's the most unusual SIGNED football I've ever seen.

53. Roisin, what did you bring in?

54. I found this old tramp poet and he carves on benches,

55. and I found him sitting next to the bench that he'd just carved into

56. and I took a photo.

57. That is from a trip that Roisin and I had to the seaside recently,

58. where I paid for lunch and the petrol, so...

59. Interestingly, that you would... You didn't pay for lunch.

60. Eh? You didn't pay for lunch. Yes, I did.

61. You let a tramp pay for your lunch?

62. I was going to put you in last place,

63. but Romesh has just snatched that from you

64. before I even know what he's brought in.

65. What have you brought in?

66. I've brought in a snow globe

67. that features my children Photoshopped as little Santas.

68. It was given to me as a Christmas present from my sister-in-law.

69. I think we can all agree

70. it's the shittest present in the history of anything.

71. I get presented that picture in a snow globe,

72. which has very few of those little... You know the granules?

73. The snow density is piss poor.

74. Like, you have to shake it for ages

75. and it's only floating for about half, two seconds maximum.

76. Like, it's awful.

77. Is it signed?

78. All three of them have signed it there, yes. OK, yes.

79. A snow globe isn't an unusual item, but your fury is.

80. Yeah, but snow globes featuring my three children -

81. there's only 250, 300...

82. Tim Key, what did you bring in?

83. A reindeer skull.

84. That, my friends, is how to play this game.

85. OK, let's not mess around. A clear winner.

86. The winner of round one, ladies and gentlemen,

87. Mr Tim Key, five points.

88. And, ladies and gentlemen, there are all of the unusual prizes.

89. They're up there on the balcony, and the winner of this competition

90. will have to take all of that shit home.

91. So, let's get these onto the leader board.

92. OK, so who've you got in second place, Greg?

93. I've got, well, the grape scissors. They're insane.

94. OK. And third?

95. Oh, you know, snow globe.

96. All right, and so you've got your picture of yourself in fourth.

97. Yes, of course, and I would put that last if I could,

98. but the football was so bad, I have to put... What?

99. It's an unsigned football, Josh. I brought in a signed football.

100. You've rubbed off the signatures and put me last!

101. That's harsh. Which all means...

102. .. the scoreboard looks like this.

103. Josh Widdicombe in last place, Tim Key in first place.

104. On with the next task, the first task proper.

105. This took place in my lab at my Taskmaster retreat,

106. and for good reason.

107. I'll put this on, first of all.

108. I'll be honest, this feels a bit kinky.

109. There used to be a guy in my village who used to wear one of these.

110. Is this my task?

111. God, I feel like I'm back at school in science lessons.

112. Ah, I really, really need my reading goggles.

113. "In the lab, there is a watermelon."

114. "Eat as much watermelon as possible."

115. "You have one minute.

116. "Your time starts when you open the door to the lab."

117. I'm allergic to watermelon.

118. Frustrating, as I just ate one in my dressing room.

119. I love watermelon. I'm a big fan of it, but you know...

120. I'm sure it's going to be ruined by this experience.

121. If you were in any doubt about the tone of this show, now you know.

122. There's five comedians being forced to eat

123. as much watermelon as they can, whilst wearing a white boiler suit.

124. Josh, we're going to see you first. Are you a melon fan?

125. Yeah, you know?

126. Fine, seven out of ten.

127. It's quite a strange question, isn't it?

128. Let's have a look at Josh's attempt,

129. bearing in mind the task is to eat as much watermelon

130. as you can in the time allowed.

131. OK, so I'm worried that I'm going to get in there

132. and there's going to be a watermelon sitting on a table,

133. so I need some kind of carving knife or knife.

134. I mean, I don't know how you do better than that.

135. I'll show you afterwards, if you like.

136. You know, I was impressed that you used implements,

137. but I didn't think there was much sense of urgency there.

138. I've seen my grandmother eating melon, and it seemed a similar sort of pace.

139. I've seen your grandmother eating melon.

140. You've seen my grandmother eating melon, right?

141. Yes, yes, well, she loves it! You were just nibbling away at it.

142. I said I quite like melon. There's the proof.

143. I thought I'd done well!

144. I'll be honest with you, I think you've slowed down the footage.

145. I wouldn't put it past you.

146. No, you did all right.

147. In one minute, you ate 218g of watermelon.

148. That's the equivalent of sort of ten mice, if you imagine that.

149. That's pretty good! Good, all right.

150. Just to calm you down a little bit,

151. any antagonism between you and I over this issue,

152. it's all scripted.

153. Can we see the master, Frank Skinner?

154. OK, here we go.

155. Not so much scope for banter.

156. Before we get onto that amazing technique,

157. I mean, there's a lot of ageist references

158. to Frank being the oldest member of the panel.

159. I want you to have a look at Frank in a white boiler suit,

160. because we're of the opinion that he looks 12 years of age.

161. "Can I clear any melon up for you, sir?"

162. Frank, such an impressive start.

163. Yeah, well, I'd forgotten my watermelon scissors.

164. The thing is, it had not occurred to me that

165. it would be a bright idea to get a knife, or anything like that.

166. I was prepared to tangle with it from the off.

167. My feeling is that Frank probably gobbled

168. a lot more melon than Josh Widdicombe.

169. No, not at all. No, he ate 179g.

170. That's the equivalent of nine mice, or ten smaller mice.

171. But less, less, just less.

172. Who's next? Roisin Conaty. Let's see how Conaty handled the melon.

173. Oh...

174. I need a thing. I need some sort of hammer.

175. Can I get a hammer, a knife?

176. Can I go...? Shall I go and get it? Oh, I would.

177. Is there any in this? No.

178. You've got 36 seconds, Roisin. Oh, God!

179. A bigger one, a bigger one!

180. This... No, no, this drawer, this drawer.

181. CLATTER

182. I've always wanted to do this. It's such a shame...

183. WHISTLE BLOWS

184. That isn't fair!

185. I mean, I just grazed it.

186. Oh... I've got so many questions.

187. I guess my first question is,

188. you knew before you went into that room that the challenge was

189. to eat as much melon as possible -

190. and yet, your reaction to seeing a melon on the table was,

191. "Ahh! Oh, clever twist."

192. I thought it was going to be pre-prepared melon.

193. I didn't think I had to cut a watermelon.

194. I thought it was going to be like a massive bowl of melon

195. and just keep eating.

196. Like a melon buffet, is what I...

197. "Like a melon buffet"? That's not a thing!

198. How many seconds had passed before Roisin started to eat melon?

199. 54 seconds. 54 seconds?

200. I don't want to be negative,

201. but I have eaten that much melon by walking past a fruit stand.

202. How much melon did Roisin Conaty eat?

203. I've put it in Rolos. She ate one Rolo. 9g. Lovely.

204. I know we're having fun, but this thing is funded by adverts,

205. so we've got to stop for a while. See you soon.

206. Welcome back to Taskmaster. If you've just joined us,

207. you've missed some comedians either eating or not eating a watermelon.

208. Who are we seeing next?

209. We're going to see Romesh and Tim together.

210. I've grouped them, and you'll see why.

211. TIM GROWLS

212. Have I got enough, or what?

213. If I throw up, will you weigh it? OK.

214. WHISTLE BLOWS

215. ROMESH VOMITS

216. Yeah, I'm fine.

217. You all right, mate?

218. WHISTLE BLOWS

219. Amazing how far we've come,

220. from Josh Widdicombe gently spooning melon into his mouth

221. to two psychopaths.

222. Well, you threw it on the floor! You have to eat off the floor.

223. That's my first question to you.

224. There was clearly a table in front of you.

225. Why did you throw it on the floor?

226. Well, I knew it wasn't going to be like a melon buffet.

227. I knew it was going to be a whole watermelon,

228. but I just didn't realise that a watermelon was that soft.

229. Like, I thought... In my head, it was rock hard.

230. And then, when I threw it, I was like "Holy shit, that is...

231. "That has gone everywhere."

232. It was a genuine surprise to me. I just didn't...

233. I just hadn't anticipated that watermelon was like that.

234. I just built it up in my head, like,

235. "I'm going to have to really smash into this!"

236. And I was like, "Oh, God, that's gone so badly."

237. I've got an image of you at an all you can eat buffet,

238. just kicking the shit out of everything.

239. Tim, how'd you...? I mean, really powerful start.

240. You'll have recognised the technique.

241. Oh, I loved the technique. It's your grandmother's technique.

242. It's what she's evolved. She wrote the book on it.

243. Yes. Yes.

244. I thought, well, you know, it's a minute, it's a watermelon,

245. it's got to be grandmother technique.

246. Smash it and eat it. Smash.

247. Can I just say, I genuinely thought I was going to die.

248. Basically, when the whistle went,

249. my throat was full of watermelon

250. and then my body just went,

251. "Let's try and get that down, shall we?"

252. Then I started like... It was a weird situation,

253. because I had this bit of watermelon in my throat...

254. It was quite a weird situation, wasn't it?

255. But it was... Slightly surreal.

256. It was really big, and I kept trying to swallow

257. and my body made like... I just went like...

258. HE IMITATES GAGGING It was horrendous.

259. My instinct is that Tim Key probably gobbled the most melon,

260. because of the vomiting.

261. I asked whether it counts - if you vomit, do you weigh the vomit?

262. And you said no. That's why I didn't vomit.

263. I think, when the whistle goes,

264. if the melon's still inside you, it counts.

265. Well, thank God for that.

266. Because I think I produced more melon than I ate.

267. My instinct is that Tim's won this. Tell me otherwise.

268. Tim ate 302g of watermelon in one minute

269. and Romesh ate 301g.

270. Whoa!

271. The way I measured it

272. was scooping up and weighing what was left in the room

273. compared to what was in the watermelon,

274. so some of that had been in Romesh at one point.

275. Fine, so you scooped up Romesh's vomit.

276. So, I mean, it's up to you. There's 1g difference,

277. but also there was a bit of dodgy business with Tim.

278. If you just want to have a look at this... Ah.

279. Oh, dear, oh, dear. You son of a bitch!

280. I love melon.

281. How can you possibly, at the end of that task go,

282. "Do you know what I fancy?"

283. You gobbled an extra bit of melon, which would mean

284. he was the winner, if we count that bit of melon.

285. Yes, so I didn't weigh that bit, because it was in Tim.

286. If you want to subtract nine from Tim's,

287. it would put Romesh in the lead. That's up to you, though.

288. What I find very difficult about it is,

289. I'm pretty sure that Tim winked at us as he left.

290. Did he wink at us? It's very hard to tell.

291. If it was a wink, it was a bad wink. But we can have a look.

292. If that's a wink, that's such breathtaking arrogance from Key.

293. I'm going to ask and let the audience decide.

294. Give me a cheer if you think that was a wink.

295. I'm taking 9g off you.

296. The winner is Romesh Ranganathan, ladies and gentlemen.

297. Good work, Romesh. One step closer to the reindeer skull.

298. Alex, how are the scores looking?

299. Very, very neat.

300. I've put them sort of with frames and well, you can see them there.

301. The leader is Tim Key, followed by Romesh

302. and Roisin and Josh are in last and second last place.

303. Really good fun.

304. So, there are three tasks to go,

305. including a live task on the stage behind me at the end

306. and with ornate grape cutting scissors to play for,

307. emotions must be running pretty high.

308. What's next, Alex?

309. We have some extreme art.

310. GREG WHISTLES

311. HORSE WHINNIES

312. This necessary, is it?

313. Wow! Urgh!

314. Horseshit.

315. What a pile of horseshit.

316. What a pile...

317. "Paint the best picture of a horse...

318. ".. Whilst riding a horse."

319. I've never ridden a horse before,

320. and I am absolutely dog shit at painting.

321. I feel more comfortable about painting a horse, probably,

322. than riding one.

323. Can't paint, can't ride horses.

324. I can draw a horse, sat on a chair,

325. and I can ride a horse in my mind.

326. Do I get points for that?

327. What I was hoping for here, when we set this challenge,

328. was for you to capture the essence of horse.

329. Alex, before we carry on,

330. can you show us which horse everyone was painting?

331. The horse they were attempting to draw is called Baz.

332. Baz is there. Yes, it's not a bad horse, not a bad horse.

333. Now, I'm going to ask you, Greg, to judge the paintings

334. just on gut reactions, before you know who's painted which painting.

335. So, here are the five paintings of horses,

336. painted whilst riding horses.

337. I know that a lot of judges in art competitions will find it difficult.

338. I'll tell you now, at one glance,

339. I'm going to find this pretty straightforward.

340. This is the way I see it.

341. Bottom right is clearly the best picture of the horse.

342. Would you all agree with me? No!

343. Secondly, the horse next to it

344. is a sort of Impressionist version of a horse,

345. but there is some degree of artistic flair.

346. Happy with that? Yeah. Yeah, so that's second. No!

347. The top three are absolutely shit.

348. The one on the right has got a bridle,

349. there's been some attention to detail.

350. That person probably can dress themselves.

351. The next one, incredibly bad,

352. but so dramatically overshadowed

353. by a picture of a giant mouse.

354. I genuinely don't know who painted these,

355. but that is one of the worst paintings I've ever seen in my life.

356. In fact, it's genuinely infuriated me.

357. As if things couldn't get any more exciting,

358. we're going to pause for a break. See you in a minute.

359. Welcome back to Taskmaster. Now, where were we?

360. Would you now like to find out who painted the paintings?

361. Yes! I genuinely don't know who did that mouse.

362. It's a horse, mate!

363. Oh. Now, I think I have a better idea.

364. OK, so here are the names of the artists.

365. So yeah, Tim Key painted the worst one,

366. Frank Skinner painted the best one.

367. But I think it's probably worth you watching how they painted it.

368. You may want to change your mind, Greg.

369. I mean, I won't change my mind on Tim's, but let's see.

370. I mean, I would say that Tim did spend the longest time

371. on the horse, by quite some distance.

372. I sort of want to capture Baz's spirit.

373. I've got off to a really good start, guys.

374. I'm really pleased with how it's looking. Now, trotting off.

375. Oh, my word! Oh, blimey.

376. Oh, God!

377. Ow, Jesus Christ!

378. HORSE SNORTS Shut up!

379. Slow down, slow down!

380. HORSE SNORTS Shut up!

381. Oh, God, oh, God!

382. I couldn't get any...

383. It's just difficult to express myself artistically in these...

384. in these conditions.

385. How do you make brown? How do you think?

386. Blue?

387. I'm quite pleased with this.

388. Who says men can't multitask?

389. OK, I'm done.

390. I'm definitely done. It's not going to get better than that.

391. I'm quite pleased with that.

392. Roisin is conspicuous by her absence, so far.

393. That obviously means she's either done incredibly well

394. or incredibly badly. We'll come onto that. Frank, do you paint?

395. Your painting's lovely, I think.

396. You know what? A weird thing has happened.

397. I've never painted before, since school,

398. and at the end of that, I thought, you know what?

399. I might start painting.

400. And I went out and I actually bought some watercolours and stuff,

401. and I'm less good not on a horse.

402. Josh, my understanding is your parents have 15 horses.

403. I hate horses. You hate horses?

404. Yeah, because you're not into what your parents are into.

405. Have they got a horse farm? Yes. Well, I'm from Devon, yes.

406. No, they live in a council flat in Ealing. Ah, right.

407. Romesh, we haven't known each other long,

408. but I've never seen you that happy before.

409. I was just sort of really... I just lost myself in the joy of it.

410. You know, I...

411. Have you seen the film, The Matrix?

412. You know when Neo suddenly sees everything in code?

413. I suddenly saw everything in like auras, and I saw Baz's spirit

414. and I just basically tried to capture that on the canvas

415. and it sort of... Oh, stop being such a wanker!

416. Do you know how to make brown? You don't, do you, Tim? No.

417. No. I quote, "How do you make brown?"

418. Alex said, "How do you think?"

419. And you said, "Blue?"

420. I had bigger problems than that.

421. Yes. You did have bigger problems than that.

422. I mean, what happened? What happened?

423. Not very good at painting, never ridden a horse,

424. and I guess I was sort of somewhere thinking, anteaters.

425. I want to slam you into last place,

426. but there's a reason - I don't know what it is yet -

427. but there's a reason why Roisin's been separated from the group, so...

428. Did she kill the horse?

429. Let's see if she did kill the horse.

430. I, 100% cannot paint a horse...

431. whilst on a horse.

432. I don't even want to get on it.

433. I'll meet him, but I've met loads of horses. That's what I do.

434. I meet the horse and then decide not to get on them.

435. It's my history of horses.

436. Would you trust us if we came up with a plan B?

437. What's plan B?

438. This is plan B. This is Merlin the mechanical horse -

439. and this is Baz, the actual horse that you're going to be painting.

440. I don't like plan B.

441. Rawhide by Frankie Laine

442. How do you make brown? It must be red and blue.

443. Have you started painting yet?

444. Yeah. It's Impressionist. It's quite Cezanne.

445. Finished? I'm finished.

446. Have you signed it? I have.

447. Oh, my God. I think that came out way better than I thought.

448. It's a bit like My Little Pony.

449. Mechanical horse, a steady rhythm.

450. I've never been on a horse.

451. Met hundreds of horses around the world...

452. All right, big shot!

453. It's what I do, Josh! So, what do you want to do, Greg?

454. You've put her in third place at the moment.

455. I can't possibly put anyone... Could I just say one thing?

456. Based on where my horse was at that window,

457. my painting's actually quite good. All I had was his head.

458. It was easier. He was already framed.

459. This is what I think's fair.

460. I mean, you did do a painting of a horse,

461. but for the challenge, you were supposed to be riding a horse

462. while you were painting and therefore, I'm afraid,

463. you have to be disqualified from this round and take last place.

464. Really?

465. You don't think that's fair?

466. I'll go last place, but not disqualified. That's fair, right?

467. OK, I'll go third.

468. Unbelievable.

469. Let's stick Roisin in last place

470. for not actually painting a horse whilst on a horse

471. and the winner of that task was

472. Mr Frank Skinner, ladies and gentlemen.

473. That's fair, right?

474. Alex, what are the scores so far?

475. OK, so it's tight. We have a leader, as you can see,

476. but there are two people in second place.

477. Romesh in the lead, Tim and Frank in second.

478. Right. Let's crack on with the next task.

479. Oh, God. Oh, God!

480. Looks like it's going to be a lot of fun.

481. "Completely empty this bathtub."

482. "Fastest wins."

483. "You must not remove the plug, tip or damage the bath."

484. "Your time starts now." What?

485. What didn't you understand about that task?

486. I did understand the task. No, it was an easy task,

487. it was just, "empty the bath without removing the plug."

488. But there are lots of different varieties of methods, as we can see.

489. Again, I've grouped. I've put Frank and Josh together to display some methods.

490. Are we seeing them first? If you want to.

491. I really do want to, yes. Yeah, I can do that, yeah, that's fine.

492. I'm going to do this while I think.

493. This can't be the way to do it.

494. Can't tip it, can't bring out the plug...

495. Have you got a Hoover?

496. Can you do that?

497. I mean, that's got death written all over it, hasn't it?

498. I know there's that thing you can do with petrol,

499. where you get the thing and you suck and then it keeps it going.

500. There used to be a thing that ruffians used to do

501. with petrol tanks, when they siphoned it.

502. You have to drink a certain amount of petrol to do it, or soapy water.

503. It's not how I remember it.

504. Oh, that's absolute bullshit.

505. I'm tempted to just go for it with a bucket.

506. No, I'm going to go for it with a bucket.

507. But this, you'd think, would be quite a quick method.

508. Oh, this is so tough!

509. Does it need to be completely dry in there?

510. It's hard to get the last... the last dregs.

511. I mean, I think you've got to say that's empty.

512. Stop the clock.

513. There's some bits, but I think that's my best job.

514. Interesting that you both used the same methods

515. and you both made it look incredibly difficult to empty a bathtub.

516. I can't tell you how heavy those bins of bathwater are.

517. Maybe put less water in.

518. Well, yeah.

519. I'm starting to think those ruffians used to turn the cars upside down.

520. The siphon thing, I was so confident with the siphon thing.

521. Yes, to successfully siphon, you have to do it a lot better than that,

522. that's why it's... Is that some research you've done online?

523. Yeah, they both did it very badly.

524. When you siphon, you've got to have the exit below the...

525. Yeah, yeah, I realised that - days later.

526. My instinct is, probably... I don't know, you'll be able to tell us,

527. but my instinct is that Frank did it quicker,

528. because Josh does a constant running commentary on how well he's doing.

529. Yeah, I love your instinct. You're right.

530. Frank did it in 7 minutes and 42 seconds.

531. Josh, one minute longer - 8 minutes and 52 seconds.

532. So, Roisin, you're scared of lots of stuff.

533. Are you scared of water? No.

534. Let's have a look. Oh...

535. I walked over here with such conviction.

536. Thanks, Alex.

537. No.

538. What else could I...? I'll get some more things.

539. Just holding that...

540. Kitchen?

541. One minute. I've got one minute?

542. No, one minute's gone. Oh.

543. Might want to move back, guys.

544. I've got a system and I'm sticking with it.

545. Round the other side. I've done about half.

546. I had a big lunch, didn't I?

547. Oh, my God, that has really hurt my back. Yeah.

548. It's very deep.

549. I think that's it.

550. There's a bit left, but I don't know how to get it out.

551. How would you get that end bit out?

552. It was less than a minute slower than Josh,

553. but you didn't empty the bath in the end. Didn't...? What?

554. There was some water in the bottom. There was a healthy meniscus.

555. I can only imagine what these two animals...

556. how they approached this task.

557. "Completely empty this bathtub.

558. "Fastest wins.

559. "You must not remove the plug, tip or damage the bath.

560. "Your time starts now."

561. "Tip or damage"?

562. Sure.

563. Can I make a request? Yeah.

564. Can I get a towel?

565. Yeah. Now? Yep.

566. Just put it there. Where?

567. Where do you want it?

568. Just on the floor.

569. OK, can I just get a towel? I'm going to get a towel.

570. Towel!

571. That was good.

572. I'm done.

573. Ladies and gentlemen, without question,

574. a special round of applause for who I presume is the inevitable winner,

575. Mr Tim Key. Incredible.

576. Incredible passion from both men. Enjoy yourselves?

577. Yeah, it was a good time.

578. Romesh, you emptied the bathtub in 2 minutes and 50 seconds.

579. Pretty quick, pretty quick!

580. Tim Key smashed that, surely? He did smash it, yes, he did.

581. He emptied the bathtub in 2 minutes and 20 seconds.

582. So, very good.

583. It's so nice to have a decisive winner in a round.

584. I loved it, really enjoyed it.

585. Yes. There's one slight issue, in that there was a rule saying

586. you're not allowed to remove the plug

587. and during the passion of Tim,

588. we did spot, if you just have a look again, you can just see the plug -

589. it wasn't in all the time.

590. The plug was dislodged. I mean, that knocks him down into second.

591. It's unfortunate. It's unfortunate. The thing is, if he'd been...

592. I didn't know that.

593. Well, you say that. I mean, we have got footage of you after the event.

594. What were you doing here, Tim? What's this?

595. Put some thoughts to that face, what's that face saying?

596. That's me having completed the task, just having a little walk around.

597. What had you picked up there, Tim?

598. Picked up, sorry? I just wondered what you...

599. Sorry, you picked something up there, right?

600. I picked the plug up, mate!

601. And then put it back in the bath secretly.

602. You did do that, you picked up the plug and put it back in the bath,

603. but you disguised your actions. What? Of course, because it's cheating.

604. What do you think?

605. Can we see how effectively he disguised putting the plug back in? Yes, we can.

606. Any doubt at all I had about

607. whether that was a wink in the previous round...

608. That was a wink, all right.

609. What's the fair thing to do? I take him down two places, right?

610. It's up to you, it's up to you. Two places? He took the plug out!

611. Shut up, Roisin! He took the plug out!

612. Why don't you just drop me down by a place?

613. No way! You've got to go.

614. Roisin, what do you think? He took the plug out of the bath.

615. He took the plug out of the bath and that's enough for you, he should go into last place?

616. Yes! Don't get all judgmental, getting on your high horse!

617. I went last place!

618. I went last place with the horse. Yes, you did. She did go last place.

619. So he should be honourable and do it, go last place.

620. You cheated. Yeah. Well, do you know what I'm going to do?

621. I'll tell you what, I'll do it for you.

622. I'm going to put him in last place. Judgment, done.

623. So the winner of that task is Romesh, ladies and gentlemen.

624. We're learning a lot about you today, Tim Key.

625. After the break, we have one more task,

626. which will be done right here on the stage.

627. Tim, will you cheat again?

628. Yep.

629. It's exciting, isn't it? See you after the break.

630. Welcome back to Taskmaster,

631. where a reindeer skull is still up for grabs.

632. Alex, what are the scores so far?

633. OK, so Romesh is on 17 points, Frank Skinner is on 15 points.

634. Get Tim to read out the task, would you?

635. OK. So Tim, here is the live task.

636. If you could read it clearly and slowly, please, Tim.

637. "Pop up a tent, get in the tent,

638. "zip up the tent, pop on a onesie in the tent

639. "and emerge from the tent wearing the onesie.

640. "Fastest wins." Shall we just explain it again?

641. So you're going to pop up your tent. You're going to get into the tent.

642. Get into the tent. Zip it up. Zip the tent.

643. Put on the onesie that is currently in your rucksack,

644. come out of the tent. First out of the tent wins.

645. And where do we put our tent?

646. I mean, aren't we all going to get in each other's way?

647. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! All that you can do internally.

648. Can I say, I'm 58 - I might never come out of the tent.

649. Alex, get ready to blow your whistle, let's get on with this.

650. Good luck, everyone! Your time starts...

651. WHISTLE BLOWS

652. Let's hear some names. They need encouragement, these people.

653. Frank's in! He's in! Frank is in.

654. This way, Josh, this way, this way. That's lovely.

655. Zip at the front, please. Zip at the front, please.

656. Back a bit, back a bit, back a bit.

657. Zip at the front, please.

658. But look, you're not in it. You're not in it!

659. He's not in it.

660. Get in it!

661. Get in it! You have to get in it.

662. Are you in it, Roisin? Are you in your tent?

663. Yeah. You're not in it! You're not in it.

664. Can you get in the tent? Get in it. You have to get in it.

665. I'm in it! You're not in it! Put it back, then.

666. She's not in the tent.

667. Do we need to send someone in for Frank yet?

668. He's been in there for hours. He's been very still for a very...

669. Oh!

670. That's it.

671. It's down there.

672. Yes!

673. It looks a little bit like election night.

674. This is as good as it's going to get.

675. Go on, Romesh! That's it, patronise him!

676. Come on, Romesh!

677. You almost made me forgive the crimes of earlier in the episode.

678. What an incredible victory for Mr Tim Key, ladies and gentlemen.

679. Come down and join us.

680. Alex, you work out how that's affected the final scores, please.

681. Magnificent performance from the obvious winner of that task,

682. Mr Tim Key, ladies and gentlemen.

683. OK, so let's find out - has Romesh lost the snow globe of his children?

684. Who's going to win a reindeer skull with a hole in it?

685. Let's have a look at the final scores, Alex.

686. Here they are.

687. Ooh... Ooh, tie break.

688. I genuinely don't know what happens here.

689. Alex, what the hell are we going to do about this?

690. There must be a winner.

691. We did a tie break task, when I hid in an area of the task cottage

692. and they opened a task saying, "Find Alex."

693. So, if we see whether Frank or Romesh found me first,

694. they will be the overall winner.

695. OK, so this whole thing is going to be decided

696. on a game of hide and seek? I think so. Yep, that's about right.

697. "Find Alex. Fastest wins.

698. "Your time starts now."

699. He's not in here.

700. I've found Alex! I got to...

701. 1 minute 50. Have a seat, Frank.

702. Alex!

703. Hello, mate. Hello.

704. Hello there. 2 minutes 27.

705. Romesh, I imagine you wish

706. you'd honed your hide-and-seek skills more when you were a child?

707. My parents did lock me away and stuff.

708. In that video clip, I felt like I looked like

709. I was moving more frantically than Frank

710. and he had sort of a chilled out vibe,

711. but yet, still destroyed me in terms of the time.

712. But, you know...? It's the tortoise and the hare.

713. Yes, exactly. Yes, lovely. Less movement, more finding,

714. Yeah, on the plus side,

715. I don't have that dog shit snow globe any more, so...

716. So, the winner of today's show, ladies and gentlemen,

717. is Mr Frank Skinner! Well played!

718. That's all for this week.

719. I have been the Taskmaster, and this has been Taskmaster.

720. Thank you, Alex.

721. You, Mr Skinner may go and collect your prize haul.

722. Mr Frank Skinner, your winner, ladies and gentlemen.

723. Thank you for watching and remember -

724. learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks.

725. Isn't that right, Tim?

726. Goodnight.