1. - Ooh. Trying to stay fit,Copy !req
2. healthy, and most of all young,Copy !req
3. is a national obsession.Copy !req
4. It seems the only people
not crazedCopy !req
5. about staying young
are the young.Copy !req
6. This seems pretty silly
to you kids,Copy !req
7. but once you grow up,
you'll want to stay young too.Copy !req
8. It's been going on
for centuries.Copy !req
9. As a matter of fact,
over 400 years ago,Copy !req
10. a famous explorer went
searching for eternal youthCopy !req
11. and ended up discovering
a part of America.Copy !req
12. His name was Ponce de LeonCopy !req
13. and his quest
is tonight's tale:Copy !req
14. The Search for the Fountain
of Youth.Copy !req
15. I wish I could find it.Copy !req
16. - I'm sweating like a pig,
Herb.Copy !req
17. Are you sweating
like a pig?Copy !req
18. - I'm sweating like a pig,
George!Copy !req
19. - Why do we do it, Herb?Copy !req
20. Why do we torture
ourselves so?Copy !req
21. - Because we want
to stay young, George,
that's why!Copy !req
22. - Ah, yes.
I remember...Copy !req
23. Youth!Copy !req
24. - Hey, did you happen to knowCopy !req
25. that this health club
is in the same vicinityCopy !req
26. where Ponce de LeonCopy !req
27. was looking for the
Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
28. Kind of ironic, isn't it?Copy !req
29. - Ironic.Copy !req
30. Ponce de Leon...Copy !req
31. Wasn't he the guy
who married Pocahontas?Copy !req
32. - Nah, another guy.Copy !req
33. No, Ponce was
a Spanish explorer.Copy !req
34. Junior told me.
You know Junior, a nice guy.Copy !req
35. - Uh-huh.
- Eh!Copy !req
36. He told me the whole story
about Ponce de LeonCopy !req
37. and his search for
the Fountain of Youth.Copy !req
38. I should tell you
the story sometime.Copy !req
39. - Tell me now!Copy !req
40. It'll help take my mind
off the factCopy !req
41. that I'm sweating like a pig.Copy !req
42. - All right.
It all started in 1513,Copy !req
43. when Ponce was the governor
of Puerto Rico.Copy !req
44. Anyway, he was hosting
a big partyCopy !req
45. for all his explorer buddies.Copy !req
46. By coincidence,
it just happened to be
his 45th birthday.Copy !req
47. But Ponce didn't want
anybody to know.Copy !req
48. You see, Ponce had always
been very vain.Copy !req
49. And he hated the fact
that he was getting older.Copy !req
50. - Well, Julio...Copy !req
51. How do I look?Copy !req
52. - You're the picture
of youth.Copy !req
53. - Now, you're not just saying
that because you're my slave?Copy !req
54. - Oh, no. I can honestly say,Copy !req
55. you don't look
a day over... 39.Copy !req
56. - 39?Copy !req
57. - Did I say 39?
I meant 29, is what I meant.Copy !req
58. - Look... No receding hairline.Copy !req
59. No wrinkles.Copy !req
60. And did you know, I can still
wear the same pantaloonsCopy !req
61. I wore as a teenager?Copy !req
62. - I know, at the last
slave meeting,Copy !req
63. we were discussing
that very point.Copy !req
64. - What? You didn't tell anyone
that it was my birthday?Copy !req
65. - Oh no, jefe! What,
do I have a death wish?Copy !req
66. - Good, good man.Copy !req
67. You know how I cannot tolerate
as much as a thoughtCopy !req
68. about a birthday party.Copy !req
69. - Everyone knows how intolerable
you are, jefe.Copy !req
70. - Why do you keep
calling me a "jefa"?Copy !req
71. - Not "jefa", jefe.Copy !req
72. - Jefe?
- It means chief,Copy !req
73. you know, boss, the big cheese.Copy !req
74. - Well, I, uh...Copy !req
75. I think the big cheeseCopy !req
76. is now ready
to greet his guests.Copy !req
77. Wait a minute,
where are my guests?Copy !req
78. Where are the lights?Copy !req
79. - Happy birthday, Dad!
- We love you, Father.Copy !req
80. - Oh, thank you.Copy !req
81. Oh, it's a...Copy !req
82. It's a wonderful cake.Copy !req
83. Senor Cortez.
- Sí.Copy !req
84. - Senor DeSoto.Copy !req
85. And Senor Balboa.Copy !req
86. Oh, my good friends.Copy !req
87. Thank you for this...
wonderful surprise.Copy !req
88. - You're the best, Ponce.
- You're the greatest!Copy !req
89. - You're the oldest.
- Who said that?Copy !req
90. - I'm so glad you like
the cake, Ponce.Copy !req
91. - It's lovely!Copy !req
92. Isn't she thoughtful?Copy !req
93. My better half. Oh!Copy !req
94. What would I do
without her?Copy !req
95. Don't you ever,
ever do this to me again.Copy !req
96. - Hey, Ponce,
you old bearded goat,Copy !req
97. how does it feel to be
the last of the old-timers, uh?Copy !req
98. - Well, I'm not exactly
an old-timer, Balboa.Copy !req
99. I mean, I'm not as old as,
uh, what's his name?Copy !req
100. Columbus.Copy !req
101. - Hey, Ponce,
don't move when you talk,Copy !req
102. I can't hear you when
your bones creak.Copy !req
103. - And tell us, Ponce,Copy !req
104. do you miss the plundering
and the pillaging?Copy !req
105. - Yeah, man,
do you miss the smellCopy !req
106. of burning huts
in the morning?Copy !req
107. - Well, actually,
I don't miss the smell.Copy !req
108. - I guess you have to be
younger to appreciate it.Copy !req
109. - But I can still
plunder and pillage
with the best of you.Copy !req
110. I mean, what good
is sitting alone in my room?Copy !req
111. On the road again,
I just can't wait to get
on the road again!Copy !req
112. Full of excitement
and purpose and youth!Copy !req
113. Ah... youth.Copy !req
114. When did I lose my youth?Copy !req
115. Among other discoveriesCopy !req
116. Ponce was the first
to discover midlife crisis.Copy !req
117. - Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
118. presenting Lucy the pirate!Copy !req
119. And her escort,Copy !req
120. yours truly,Copy !req
121. Rudolpho Gaspacho the Third.Copy !req
122. - What are you doing here,
Lucy?Copy !req
123. You know pirates
aren't allowed.Copy !req
124. - I know, I had to kill
a couple of guys to get in.Copy !req
125. You, uh...Copy !req
126. remember Rudolpho, of course.Copy !req
127. - Ah yes, of course.Copy !req
128. Glad to see you're still
slithering about.Copy !req
129. - Yes, fortune,
it has been very,
very good to me.Copy !req
130. My darling Lucy.Copy !req
131. - Rudolpho!
- Yes?Copy !req
132. - Beat it.
- Of course, my cookie.Copy !req
133. - He's a worm, but he adores me.Copy !req
134. - Fortunately, I don't share
his sentiments.Copy !req
135. - Oh, Ponce!Copy !req
136. Ponce, it's what I've always
liked about you.Copy !req
137. You've never hidden the fact
that you hate my guts.Copy !req
138. - What do you want?Copy !req
139. - Want?Copy !req
140. Ponce, I came here to give youCopy !req
141. the best birthday present
you'll ever get.Copy !req
142. - It is not my birthday.Copy !req
143. No matter what they say,
it's not my birthday!Copy !req
144. - Alright, alright,
but if it were your birthday,Copy !req
145. I have something great
to give you.Copy !req
146. Ponce, how would you likeCopy !req
147. to prove to all
these other barbariansCopy !req
148. that you're still
the greatest explorer alive?Copy !req
149. - I'm listening.Copy !req
150. - How would you like
to discover...Copy !req
151. the Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
152. - Fountain of Tooth?Copy !req
153. What do I need
with a fountain full of teeth?Copy !req
154. - Not tooth, youth.Copy !req
155. The Fountain of Youth.Copy !req
156. You take one bath
in its magical watersCopy !req
157. and you stay young forever,Copy !req
158. you never grow old.Copy !req
159. - You never grow old?Copy !req
160. No more disgusting
birthday parties,Copy !req
161. no more cakes or candles
or wrinkles or bunions,Copy !req
162. or gasping lungs
or blurry night time visions.Copy !req
163. - I thought it might
appeal to you.Copy !req
164. - This isn't another
of your tall tales, is it?Copy !req
165. - No. A witch in Bimini
told me all about it,Copy !req
166. right before I slit
her throat, of course.Copy !req
167. - But what's in this for you?Copy !req
168. - Nothing.Copy !req
169. Nothing.Copy !req
170. Just a humble present
from a little old pirate,Copy !req
171. to a big old explorer.Copy !req
172. - Well, Lucy, maybe...Copy !req
173. maybe I've been wrong about you.Copy !req
174. Thank you.Copy !req
175. And now, if you'll excuse me.Copy !req
176. Gentlemen!Copy !req
177. Gentlemen,
and I use the term loosely,Copy !req
178. I have an announcement to make.Copy !req
179. Come here, children,
gather around.Copy !req
180. - But from across the room,Copy !req
181. I saw the way
you were looking at him.Copy !req
182. - If you spy on me again,
I'll cut your eyes out.Copy !req
183. - I'm sorry, my little taco,
but I love you.Copy !req
184. - Oh, just my luck,
I had to fall for a guyCopy !req
185. whose brain is smaller
than his... moustache.Copy !req
186. - Oh, thank you.
- Rudolpho, my love,Copy !req
187. the reason I had
to kiss up to PonceCopy !req
188. was so he wouldn't suspect
my ulterior motive.Copy !req
189. - Ah-ha! A brilliant plan,
my kumquat.Copy !req
190. What's an ulterior motive?
- Rudolpho!Copy !req
191. He's an explorer, it's his job
and he's the best.Copy !req
192. I'm just a pirate.
I'm good at killing,Copy !req
193. maiming,
and double-crossing.Copy !req
194. But I'm no good
at exploring.Copy !req
195. So he'll find
the Fountain of Youth,Copy !req
196. we will follow and
do the double-crossing.Copy !req
197. - Oh, you're beautifulCopy !req
198. when you're devious,
my little castanet.Copy !req
199. - I will find the Fountain
of Youth and that's final!Copy !req
200. I'm sorry, it's just...
something I have to do.Copy !req
201. Once again,
old Ponce had to say goodbye
to his family.Copy !req
202. It was hard, he was
a true-blue family man,Copy !req
203. but hey, when you've gotta go,
you've gotta go.Copy !req
204. - Father, you've been gone
almost my whole life.Copy !req
205. And now, you're going to miss
the birth of your grandchild.Copy !req
206. Why can't you be here
when it counts?Copy !req
207. - Children,
your father is an explorer,Copy !req
208. that's what he does.Copy !req
209. It's very difficult
to be a good explorer
and just stay home.Copy !req
210. You're crazy, Ponce de Leon,
but I love you.Copy !req
211. Just remember,Copy !req
212. if you don't come back alive,Copy !req
213. I'm gonna kill you.Copy !req
214. - Oh.
- Jefe, uh...Copy !req
215. Do I have to go?Copy !req
216. - Of course you have to go,
Julio, you're my slave.Copy !req
217. - Well, frankly,
I hate being a slave.Copy !req
218. Won't you be a nice guy
and set me free, huh?Copy !req
219. - Shut up, Julio!Copy !req
220. - Of course, jefe.Copy !req
221. It was just a suggestion,Copy !req
222. you know how I love
being your slave.Copy !req
223. And so, Ponce set out
to find the Fountain of Youth.Copy !req
224. A lone ship on
the Caribbean sea.Copy !req
225. Or so we thought.Copy !req
226. He sailed north until,
on Easter Sunday,Copy !req
227. he bumped smack
into a brand new land.Copy !req
228. With flag in hand,Copy !req
229. Ponce claimed the new land
for Spain and its king.Copy !req
230. One problem:
what to name the place?Copy !req
231. - Since today is Easter,Copy !req
232. I hereby proclaim that this
new land shall be called...Copy !req
233. Easter Island.Copy !req
234. - Uh, jefe?
- Hm?Copy !req
235. - I think that's taken.Copy !req
236. - Very well, then...
Beach Land!Copy !req
237. Poncylvania.Copy !req
238. Poncecola.Copy !req
239. - Jefe, did, uh...Copy !req
240. Did you happen to notice
all the beautiful flowers here?Copy !req
241. - Yes, of course!Copy !req
242. Flowerland.Copy !req
243. - Sounds a bit sissy, sir.Copy !req
244. May I suggest...Copy !req
245. Florida?Copy !req
246. - Six of one,
half a dozen of the other,Copy !req
247. very well,
I name this land...Copy !req
248. Florida.Copy !req
249. - Florida, men.Copy !req
250. - Act glad to see them.Copy !req
251. - Savages, how delightful.Copy !req
252. Julio, what are they smiling at?Copy !req
253. Do I look funny?
Is there food in my beard?Copy !req
254. Like most explorers,Copy !req
255. Ponce gave the Indians gifts
to win their friendship.Copy !req
256. And, since it was Easter,
Ponce gave them... Easter eggs.Copy !req
257. - Okay, fellas,
just like I taught you.Copy !req
258. Keep your eye on your eggs.Copy !req
259. Ready? Steady? Go!Copy !req
260. Come on, they're running, oh!
You're gonna drop your egg.Copy !req
261. - I love this chocolate bunny.Copy !req
262. - I'm the best egg hunter,
chief.Copy !req
263. - Yes, Little Walrus.Copy !req
264. You are now the Egg Man,Copy !req
265. "Koo-Koo, kachoo."Copy !req
266. Now, what is it
that you want, Blondie?Copy !req
267. - Well, chief,Copy !req
268. I have some good news
and some bad news.Copy !req
269. Now, the good news is that,
in memory of you,Copy !req
270. I'm going to name this place...Copy !req
271. Chief Orlando.Copy !req
272. - What do you mean,
"in memory of"?Copy !req
273. - That's the bad news.Copy !req
274. You see, I'm afraid
I'm going to haveCopy !req
275. to conquer you and your people,Copy !req
276. throw you in chains and ship you
back to Spain as slaves.Copy !req
277. Nothing personal.Copy !req
278. - You realize we will have
to defend ourselvesCopy !req
279. and wipe you and your men
off the face of the earth?Copy !req
280. Oh, nothing personal.Copy !req
281. - Chief, you have spirit!Copy !req
282. I like that.Copy !req
283. It reminds me of me,
when I was young.Copy !req
284. - Yes!Copy !req
285. I am feisty, for 86 summers.Copy !req
286. - But you don't look
a summer over 18!Copy !req
287. Well, how do you keep
your boyish good looks?Copy !req
288. - Eat right,
get plenty of sleep,Copy !req
289. stay out of sun.Copy !req
290. - That's it?
- That's it.Copy !req
291. Oh, did I mention I bathe
in the Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
292. - The Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
293. But that is the purpose
of my journey here.Copy !req
294. Oh, you have to tell me
where to find it.Copy !req
295. - No, I don't.Copy !req
296. - Look, uh...Copy !req
297. I'll make you a deal.Copy !req
298. You show me how to find
the Fountain of Youth,Copy !req
299. and I will spare you
and your people.Copy !req
300. - Hmm...Copy !req
301. An interesting offer, but...Copy !req
302. I don't know.Copy !req
303. - Look, I'll show you
how to make...Copy !req
304. Mmm...Copy !req
305. chocolate bunnies.Copy !req
306. - It's a deal.Copy !req
307. First, you must go find
the Mysterious StrangerCopy !req
308. who lives on top
of huge tree.Copy !req
309. There, you'll be given
further instructions.Copy !req
310. Now, we'll get
to the huge tree.Copy !req
311. So, Ponce and Julio
headed outCopy !req
312. to find the Mysterious
widow Stranger.Copy !req
313. Now, only two of his men
were brave enough or...Copy !req
314. dumb enough...Copy !req
315. to follow him on his quest.Copy !req
316. But Ponce didn't care.Copy !req
317. Nothing and nobody
could stop him now.Copy !req
318. - Uh, jefe?Copy !req
319. Excuse me, sir,
I've been thinking.Copy !req
320. - I'm sorry, I don't think
that's allowed.Copy !req
321. - Well, frankly,Copy !req
322. this whole business of searchingCopy !req
323. for the Fountain of Youth...Copy !req
324. It's a bit... silly.Copy !req
325. - Silly?Copy !req
326. Listen, Julio, I don't thinkCopy !req
327. you quite understand
our relationship.Copy !req
328. You see, I am the master,
you are the slave.Copy !req
329. That means you are not
permitted to thinkCopy !req
330. or to have opinions of any kind.Copy !req
331. That's because I'm the boss
or head honcho,Copy !req
332. and you are the peon.
Head honcho, peon.Copy !req
333. Comprende?Copy !req
334. - I think so, jefe.Copy !req
335. - Adelante!Copy !req
336. - Adelante.Copy !req
337. - Look, Julio,
forget that you are a peonCopy !req
338. and tell me, honestly,
as a friend,Copy !req
339. do you think
I'm just an old fool?Copy !req
340. - I don't think
you're old, sir.Copy !req
341. - You know something, Julio...Copy !req
342. No matter how old I get,Copy !req
343. I still think of myself
as a teenager.Copy !req
344. It's like my body
is climbing into the coffin,Copy !req
345. but my mind is climbing
out of the cradle.Copy !req
346. Do you know what I mean?Copy !req
347. - I think so, jefe.Copy !req
348. - Really?
- It's normal.Copy !req
349. - Normal?
- Yes.Copy !req
350. You know,
Plato in the 4th centuryCopy !req
351. had exactly
the same problem.Copy !req
352. - I see the way
you're looking at him.Copy !req
353. - I'm not looking at him,
I'm observing.Copy !req
354. - Ah, you're beautifulCopy !req
355. when you're observing,Copy !req
356. my little quesadilla.Copy !req
357. - Ah, here we are.Copy !req
358. The Mysterious Stranger.Copy !req
359. Oh, I guess no one's at home.Copy !req
360. - Who is it?Copy !req
361. - Oh! It is I,Copy !req
362. Ponce de Leon, famous explorerCopy !req
363. and representative of
His Majesty the King of Spain.Copy !req
364. - Good for you.Copy !req
365. - Can I...Copy !req
366. come up?Copy !req
367. - Don't be ridiculous,
come on up.Copy !req
368. I'm... I'm a little
afraid of heights.Copy !req
369. - I'm a little afraid of lows.Copy !req
370. I hate feeling depressed,Copy !req
371. this is why I live
high up here.Copy !req
372. Now, what do you want?Copy !req
373. - Please, how do I get
to the Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
374. - Why didn't you say so?Copy !req
375. You need the map
to the Fountain of Youth.Copy !req
376. I'll be right back.Copy !req
377. - Okay, guys, I don't need
to remind you,Copy !req
378. you are in the Armada now,Copy !req
379. and it's not just a job,
it's an adventure.Copy !req
380. Now, I don't know
where the jefe is,Copy !req
381. but until he returns, remember,Copy !req
382. I'm the honcho,
you're the peon.Copy !req
383. Honcho, peon.Copy !req
384. Honcho, peon.Copy !req
385. Never peon, honcho.Copy !req
386. - Found it.Copy !req
387. - Oh, thank you!Copy !req
388. - Let me explain to you first.Copy !req
389. This is a very dangerous voyage.Copy !req
390. There are three dangerous zones.Copy !req
391. The first one
is a swamp of beastsCopy !req
392. that time forgot.Copy !req
393. - Beasts?
- Big, mean beasts.Copy !req
394. Second is the land of people
who no longer live,Copy !req
395. also known
as the Indian graveyard.Copy !req
396. - I hate graveyards.Copy !req
397. - They hate you too.Copy !req
398. The third one is the
ground that swallows.Copy !req
399. - Look, isn't there
some kind of... shortcut?Copy !req
400. - Many have tried,Copy !req
401. none have survived,Copy !req
402. that's why you have
to bring proofCopy !req
403. that you visited
those three zones.Copy !req
404. It's the only way
to the Fountain of Youth.Copy !req
405. - Well, uh...Copy !req
406. If that's the only way.Copy !req
407. - For the love of peace!Copy !req
408. I just told you so.Copy !req
409. Ponce, you drive me crazy.Copy !req
410. If you forgive me,Copy !req
411. your time is up.Copy !req
412. - Thank you.Copy !req
413. Julio! Look!Copy !req
414. Look, I've got the map.Copy !req
415. - Oh, whoopee, sir.Copy !req
416. - No, no, no,
it really is the map.Copy !req
417. Look, it's a reality.Copy !req
418. The map!Copy !req
419. - So, come on, men,Copy !req
420. let's hear it. Hip, hip!Copy !req
421. You fellas are supposed
to say, "Hurray!"Copy !req
422. So, let's try it again.
Hip, hip!Copy !req
423. Julio, why is it
that my men don't talk?Copy !req
424. - Well,
they never learned, jefe.Copy !req
425. - They never learned
how to talk?Copy !req
426. - No, jefe,Copy !req
427. before we left,
I lied to you.Copy !req
428. Remember when
I told you that your men
weren't too bright?Copy !req
429. The truth is they're stupid.Copy !req
430. And they make cows
look brilliant.Copy !req
431. - Men, is this true?Copy !req
432. Yeah...Copy !req
433. - Oh, wonderful.Copy !req
434. My men are dumber than cows.Copy !req
435. Nonetheless...Copy !req
436. We're all marching
to the Fountain of Youth,Copy !req
437. we'll be there soon
and that's the truth!Copy !req
438. - Giddy-up!
Ah! Let's go.Copy !req
439. - Livestock for men.Copy !req
440. We could be
in real trouble here.Copy !req
441. - You're beautiful
when you're in trouble,Copy !req
442. my little enchilada.Copy !req
443. - Oh, stop slobbering
all over me.Copy !req
444. Oh...Copy !req
445. So, after travelling
for a few days longer,Copy !req
446. Ponce and his men finally
came to the first zone.Copy !req
447. - Well, according to this map,Copy !req
448. we should be in the vicinityCopy !req
449. of the beasts that
time forgot, jefe.Copy !req
450. - I don't see any beasts.Copy !req
451. - Let's forget it.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
452. We'll just cross over here,
on these stepping stones.Copy !req
453. Oh, my God!Copy !req
454. My God! They're gigantic
water dinosaurs!Copy !req
455. They are beasts!Copy !req
456. - And their jaws are like
the gates of Hell!Copy !req
457. - Yes, gates... Gators!Copy !req
458. We'll call
these creatures "gators".Copy !req
459. - They're so ugly.Copy !req
460. - Then, we'll call them
"ugly gators".Copy !req
461. - Never mind what
we're gonna call them,Copy !req
462. how are we gonna get
across, boss?Copy !req
463. - Ah... Me, Tarzan.
You, Julio.Copy !req
464. - You who?
- Woo-hoo!Copy !req
465. - This is your last chance.Copy !req
466. Don't give up, boss!
Fight them!Copy !req
467. - This is terrible,
the ugler gator has his leg.Copy !req
468. - I'll save him,
the map is in his boots!Copy !req
469. - Lucy!Copy !req
470. What are you doing here?Copy !req
471. - Oh, a vacation.Copy !req
472. Rudolpho and I just needed
to get away together.Copy !req
473. Our relationship
was getting a little routine,Copy !req
474. you know how it is.Copy !req
475. - Boy, am I ever glad
we made it!Copy !req
476. - Ever glad?
That's what we'll call this
place, the "Everglads"!Copy !req
477. - Oh... How about "Everglades"?Copy !req
478. - Oh, close enough.Copy !req
479. Ow!
- Sir!Copy !req
480. Oh, look,
an ugly gator's tooth.Copy !req
481. - Not tooth...Copy !req
482. Proof... that I have been here!Copy !req
483. - Yeah, what didn't I think
of that?Copy !req
484. That night,Copy !req
485. Ponce stood watch over
his sleeping men,Copy !req
486. the map and Lucy,Copy !req
487. who had her eye
on the map as well.Copy !req
488. - I can't sleep.Copy !req
489. - Neither can I.Copy !req
490. Oh... I'm on watch.Copy !req
491. - I hope you're not too upset
Randolph and I joined your
party.Copy !req
492. - Well, you're here. There's...Copy !req
493. There's not much I can do
about it.Copy !req
494. - Must be awfully lonely out
here all by yourself.Copy !req
495. - Well, it's all part
of camping out.Copy !req
496. - Don't you miss female
companionship?Copy !req
497. - Lucy, when you're an explorer,Copy !req
498. your companions are excitement,Copy !req
499. adventure and exhilaration!Copy !req
500. Going where no one has gone
before.Copy !req
501. The thrill of victory,
the agony of your feet.Copy !req
502. Besides, I'm a happily married
man with a family,Copy !req
503. so quit feeling my boot.Copy !req
504. - Oh, but I'm a woman with
needs.Copy !req
505. - Yes, I've been thinking about
your needs, Lucy.Copy !req
506. - You have?
- Yes.Copy !req
507. A woman doesn't need to be here.Copy !req
508. It's too risky, too dangerous.Copy !req
509. And more over,Copy !req
510. it is too embarrassing
for a great explorer like meCopy !req
511. to be seen travelling
with a woman in the ranks.Copy !req
512. - The ranks! The ranks!
Take a look at your ranks.Copy !req
513. Two turnip heads, a silly slave,
Rudolpho the worthless and me!Copy !req
514. Face it, Ponce,
I'm not just a woman.Copy !req
515. I'm the best man you've got.Copy !req
516. - Yes, but still, I—
- Oh, just because I'm a pirate,Copy !req
517. everyone assumes I'm dirt!Copy !req
518. - But Lucy, you are dirt!Copy !req
519. - No, I'm not.Copy !req
520. I'm just a woman trying to make
it in a pirate's world.Copy !req
521. Oh, sure, I admit I'm greedy.Copy !req
522. I want to take the water from
the Fountain of YouthCopy !req
523. and put it in tiny little
bottles with my picture
on a labelCopy !req
524. and sell it for exorbitant
pricesCopy !req
525. so I can stay young and
filthy rich forever.Copy !req
526. Is that so wrong?Copy !req
527. - Yes, I think it is.
- Oh...Copy !req
528. - I too want to stay young
forever.Copy !req
529. But more than that, I want
to discover the greatest thing
that's ever been discovered!Copy !req
530. And not just for myself,
but for mankind!Copy !req
531. Oh, just think of it.Copy !req
532. No more aging or dying.Copy !req
533. Eternal youth for each and every
person on earth.Copy !req
534. - Yeah, that's great.Copy !req
535. But in the meantime,
this pirate wants to get rich.Copy !req
536. - Like I said, Lucy,
you are dirt.Copy !req
537. And so, Ponce continued
to cut a path through Florida,Copy !req
538. followed by loyal Julio,Copy !req
539. the despicable Lucy,Copy !req
540. and Rudolpho,Copy !req
541. and of course,
the cows.Copy !req
542. And like all good explorers,Copy !req
543. Ponce discovered a lot of
famous places along the way,Copy !req
544. like Miami Beach,Copy !req
545. Fort Lauderdale...Copy !req
546. Cypress Gardens.Copy !req
547. And Cape Canaveral.Copy !req
548. But in spite of finding
all these places and more,Copy !req
549. the Fountain of Youth
was the only discovery Ponce
cared about.Copy !req
550. So, it was on to the next zone:Copy !req
551. the land of people
who no longer live.Copy !req
552. A pretty creepy place.Copy !req
553. - This is it, jefe.Copy !req
554. The Indian graveyard.Copy !req
555. - Yes, it is.Copy !req
556. Well, I hope there are
no ghosts.Copy !req
557. - You're gonna need some proof
that you were here.Copy !req
558. May I suggest that you give
one of the rib bones from
the mummies?Copy !req
559. - Somebody's bone?Copy !req
560. - Sure! They won't mind,
they're dead, see.Copy !req
561. - Ponce, you're wasting time.
Let's get this over with.Copy !req
562. - Well, look, Lucy,
the fog's rolling in,Copy !req
563. I don't work well in fog.Copy !req
564. - Scared?Copy !req
565. - The great Ponce de Leon
scared?Copy !req
566. Oh, darn mosquitos.Copy !req
567. - Ponce, if you're going to act
like a baby,Copy !req
568. you can wait here. I'll do it.Copy !req
569. - No.Copy !req
570. - Yes.Copy !req
571. If you're too scared,
let Lucy. She will do it.Copy !req
572. - Hey, he not too scared!Copy !req
573. - Yes, he is.
- No, he's not!Copy !req
574. - I am not scared!Copy !req
575. In fact, I can hardly wait
to get over thereCopy !req
576. and start ravaging through
that graveyard,Copy !req
577. so let's get on with it.
Shall we, Julio?Copy !req
578. - Me?
- Yes.Copy !req
579. It will be me and Julio down
by the graveyard.Copy !req
580. - He is scared.Copy !req
581. - I can't do it.Copy !req
582. Look, put me down. Down!Copy !req
583. Julio, these people are dead up
here.Copy !req
584. - Of course, jefe,
that's why it's a graveyard.Copy !req
585. - Staring at this mummy, it...Copy !req
586. it's like I'm staring at me.Copy !req
587. My future...Copy !req
588. Everybody's future.Copy !req
589. This is what we all have to look
forward to.Copy !req
590. - It couldn't be that bad.Copy !req
591. Have you noticed that
all mummies look so comfy
and peaceful?Copy !req
592. - Oh... I, I...Copy !req
593. I can't get it.
I can't get the rib.Copy !req
594. - Is this the bone you're
looking for?Copy !req
595. In your case,
it should've been a chicken
bone.Copy !req
596. - Oh...Copy !req
597. - Well, I wouldn't laugh yet
if I were you.Copy !req
598. Ponce, in case you haven't
noticed, I've tied you to your
faithful servant, Julio.Copy !req
599. I didn't want you to be lonely
when I leave you here to rot
and die.Copy !req
600. - How very thoughtful.Copy !req
601. - You see, Ponce, now that I
have the map,Copy !req
602. I have no further
need for you.Copy !req
603. - Enrique, Alfredo, earn
your food, overpower them and
save us!Copy !req
604. - Sorry, Ponce.
The potato heads are with me.Copy !req
605. - Lucy, even you can't be this
evil.Copy !req
606. - You underestimate me, Ponce!Copy !req
607. Oh, I realize I could slit your
throat and let you die quickly,Copy !req
608. but that would be too humane.Copy !req
609. No, I think I'll just leave you
here to die a slow and painful
death,Copy !req
610. your carcasses slowly
decomposing,Copy !req
611. the vultures picking away at
your helpless bodies.Copy !req
612. - You're all heart, Lucy.Copy !req
613. - Oh, what can I say,
I'm a pirate.Copy !req
614. Any last words?Copy !req
615. - Yes.Copy !req
616. You stink, slime bag!Copy !req
617. - I love you too, Ponce.Copy !req
618. - What are we gonna do, now?Copy !req
619. - Don't worry, Julio.
Just a temporary setback,
that's all.Copy !req
620. Don't forget, it's not over till
it's over.Copy !req
621. - Trust me, it's over.Copy !req
622. I hate it when that happens.Copy !req
623. - No.Copy !req
624. No, Julio.Copy !req
625. That is what I call luck.Copy !req
626. - Darn lucky, jefe.Copy !req
627. - Now, hurry,
and keep your eyes peeled.Copy !req
628. Who knows what dastardly trick
Lucy might get up to next!Copy !req
629. Hurry!Copy !req
630. Well, Ponce and Julio's
luck continued.Copy !req
631. Even without a map, they
managed to discover the third
and final zone.Copy !req
632. - Let me see.Copy !req
633. - This is it,
the ground that swallows.Copy !req
634. - Well, it isn't ground
and it isn't water.Copy !req
635. It's... disgusting.Copy !req
636. - I don't understand.Copy !req
637. They're supposed to be slowly
rotting to death.Copy !req
638. Is Ponce indestructible,
or what?Copy !req
639. - You're beautiful when you're
puzzled, my little tostada.Copy !req
640. - I think that grease
on your hair is beginning
to seep through.Copy !req
641. - Oh, thank you.Copy !req
642. - It's no bother.Copy !req
643. We'll just cross over here
on this log.Copy !req
644. - Hey, good idea. After you.Copy !req
645. - No, after you.Copy !req
646. - Oh, I insist,
Your Explorership, after you.Copy !req
647. - No, no, no. After you.Copy !req
648. Head honcho, remember?Copy !req
649. - Oh, yeah.Copy !req
650. Hey, it's not that hard, boss.Copy !req
651. It's easy, come on.Copy !req
652. Take it easy.Copy !req
653. Easy! Easy!Copy !req
654. Are you okay?Copy !req
655. Fast! Grab on to this!Copy !req
656. Here, don't panic! Reach it!Copy !req
657. - Woo-hoo, bravo!Copy !req
658. - Please, try!Copy !req
659. Grab it! Grab it!Copy !req
660. - Just run! It just swallows!Copy !req
661. It doesn't chew!Copy !req
662. - You see it, grab it, please!Copy !req
663. Jefe! Jefe!Copy !req
664. - Oh, do you see what I see?Copy !req
665. Yes, my men!Copy !req
666. And that's the end of Ponce
de Leon.Copy !req
667. - You killed him.
- Yes. Finally.Copy !req
668. And now, the map says
the Fountain of Youth is at
the foot of the rainbow.Copy !req
669. And wouldn't you know it,
there's a rainbow!Copy !req
670. Oh, Julio, I'm feeling
magnanimous!Copy !req
671. So I'm inviting you to join us
and share in my glory.Copy !req
672. - Lucy, you're scum.Copy !req
673. You've just killed the world's
greatest explorerCopy !req
674. and a close personal friend
of mine.Copy !req
675. - Julio, for heaven's sake,
you're his slave.Copy !req
676. - I know.Copy !req
677. But I liked him.Copy !req
678. I really liked him.Copy !req
679. And I'd rather die than follow
you.Copy !req
680. - Well, if you must.Copy !req
681. Little did Julio and
Lucy know,Copy !req
682. Ponce had ended into a whole
new world.Copy !req
683. An underground wonderland
complete with not one,Copy !req
684. but two great-looking
hostesses.Copy !req
685. - This is really a most pleasant
surprise.Copy !req
686. - Can't you see that I'm doing
something totally unimportant?Copy !req
687. - Aren't you the same person
I met in the treehouse?Copy !req
688. - Of course not.
I'm never the same.Copy !req
689. - Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.Copy !req
690. - Yes, I'm positive you are.Copy !req
691. - Off with this hat.Copy !req
692. Good. Now, where were we?Copy !req
693. - Good question.Copy !req
694. - Wait a minute,Copy !req
695. aren't you the man
who came to see me
in my treehouse?Copy !req
696. - Yes, that's what I've been
trying to tell—Copy !req
697. - Why didn't you tell me so?Copy !req
698. Congratulations!
You have made it!Copy !req
699. He has made it, ladies.Copy !req
700. Congratulations.Copy !req
701. Nobody ever made it here before.Copy !req
702. Most of them just cross over
that quicksandCopy !req
703. on that old tree trunk.Copy !req
704. You were brave enough to jump
right in.Copy !req
705. - I was?Copy !req
706. Oh, of course, I...
I knew I was supposed to jump
right in.Copy !req
707. - Do you have proofCopy !req
708. that you passed by those two
dangerous zones?Copy !req
709. - Yes indeed.Copy !req
710. There.Copy !req
711. One ugly gator's tooth
and one mummy's bone.Copy !req
712. - Good.Copy !req
713. These are very, very important.Copy !req
714. - Now, where do I find
the Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
715. - Oh, yes.Copy !req
716. That old fountain.Copy !req
717. Don't you realizeCopy !req
718. that people who go after
ridiculous thingsCopy !req
719. end up being ridiculous
themselves?Copy !req
720. - Well, I don't think my quest
is ridiculous.Copy !req
721. In fact, I think it's rather
noble.Copy !req
722. The greatest curse of life
is... growing old.Copy !req
723. Your body gets flabby,
your chins multiply and your
brain turns to porridge.Copy !req
724. And...Copy !req
725. And what's your reward
for surviving all this?Copy !req
726. You die. Dead.Copy !req
727. And that to me
is ridiculous.Copy !req
728. - Fine.Copy !req
729. You might be interested
in seeing this.Copy !req
730. - Ah...Copy !req
731. Is that my...
- Grandson.Copy !req
732. Congratulations.Copy !req
733. - Oh...Copy !req
734. - If only your father
could see this.Copy !req
735. - But I can! I can see you!Copy !req
736. This too is your grandson.Copy !req
737. - Cheers.
- Cheers, grandpa.Copy !req
738. - To good health!
Oh, wonderful!Copy !req
739. Thanks to the Fountain of Youth,Copy !req
740. I'll always be young enough
to enjoy him.Copy !req
741. Who's this?Copy !req
742. - This too is your grandson.Copy !req
743. Think carefully.Copy !req
744. Is this the life
you want to lead?Copy !req
745. Go home to your family,
my friend.Copy !req
746. Give up that silly quest.Copy !req
747. Can't you see that by
searching for youthCopy !req
748. you are
missing on life?Copy !req
749. - Oh, no.Copy !req
750. I'm sorry, but I'm an explorer.Copy !req
751. And after all I've been through,Copy !req
752. I simply can't quit now.Copy !req
753. - If you insist.Copy !req
754. At the end of a rainbow,
you see,Copy !req
755. there are two fountains.Copy !req
756. The first looks very beautiful
and inviting.Copy !req
757. Ignore this fountain,
for it is a trap.Copy !req
758. It is in fact far more
horrifyingCopy !req
759. than anything you have
experienced thus far.Copy !req
760. It's called the Fountain
of Truth.Copy !req
761. And that's no lie.Copy !req
762. - And where do I find the real
fountain?Copy !req
763. - A little further on,
you'll find a very plain,
simple fountain.Copy !req
764. This is the true
Fountain of Youth.Copy !req
765. - Well...
Thanks for the warning.Copy !req
766. - Now go on,
get out of here.Copy !req
767. I've got very unimportant
things to do.Copy !req
768. - Yes, well...Copy !req
769. Thank you, madam, uh...Copy !req
770. Doctor...Copy !req
771. What do I call you?Copy !req
772. - Don't call me. I call you.Copy !req
773. - This is it!Copy !req
774. I found it!Copy !req
775. - You clever cookie!Copy !req
776. - Oh! I'm rich!Copy !req
777. I'm famous!Copy !req
778. I'm going to be young forever!Copy !req
779. I don't know about you boys,Copy !req
780. but I'm taking a bath.Copy !req
781. - Lucy, stop!Copy !req
782. Stay away from that fountain!Copy !req
783. - Ah, well if it isn't the head
honcho, Ponce de Leon.Copy !req
784. Unfortunately,
you're just a little too late.Copy !req
785. You see, I've already discovered
the Fountain of Youth,Copy !req
786. which means it's all mine.Copy !req
787. - But that isn't the Fountain
of Youth.Copy !req
788. That is the Fountain of Truth!Copy !req
789. - Rudolpho...Copy !req
790. Rudolpho!Copy !req
791. - Lucy?Copy !req
792. - But jefe,
how did you know?Copy !req
793. - The Mysterious Stranger
told me.Copy !req
794. Oh... Poor Lucy.Copy !req
795. I tried to warn her.Copy !req
796. - Okay, so where's the real
Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
797. - Just a little further on.Copy !req
798. - Lucy?Copy !req
799. I'm here.Copy !req
800. Lucy?Copy !req
801. - Ah-ha!Copy !req
802. There it is.Copy !req
803. The Fountain of Youth!Copy !req
804. - Congratulations, jefe.Copy !req
805. You found it!Copy !req
806. - Yes, uh... This is it.Copy !req
807. - Is anything wrong?Copy !req
808. - No, no. Why?Copy !req
809. - Oh, it's just that after
all that we've been through,Copy !req
810. I just thought you'd be a little
more excited.Copy !req
811. - Yes, I know. It's just that...Copy !req
812. Well, now, we're finally here,
I...Copy !req
813. I...Copy !req
814. - Jefe, did the Mysterious
Stranger say anything else?Copy !req
815. - Oh, yes!Copy !req
816. I'm a grandfather.
- No!Copy !req
817. Congratulations.Copy !req
818. - Thank you.
- He's a grandfather.Copy !req
819. Congratulations.Copy !req
820. - Let's get this over with.Copy !req
821. - You know, I wouldn't
do that, sir.Copy !req
822. - Well, yes, that's why
I'm the honcho and you're
the peon, Julio.Copy !req
823. Then again,Copy !req
824. I don't want to end up
like one of those ugly gators,Copy !req
825. a prehistoric relic that will
never change.Copy !req
826. And remember that Indian
graveyard?Copy !req
827. - Oh, si, jefe. Yes.Copy !req
828. - Well...Copy !req
829. If I was to stay young forever,Copy !req
830. I would have to watch
all my loved ones and friends...Copy !req
831. die.Copy !req
832. You know something, Julio?Copy !req
833. The Mysterious Stranger
was right.Copy !req
834. Growing old is a part of life.Copy !req
835. And instead of dreading it,Copy !req
836. I'm going to enjoy it.Copy !req
837. I am going to grow old!Copy !req
838. With my wife and my family.Copy !req
839. And I'm going to help my little
grandson grow up.Copy !req
840. - That's a beautiful idea, boss.Copy !req
841. - Oh, Julio, my friend.Copy !req
842. Let's go home.Copy !req
843. Come on, now.Copy !req
844. Come one.Copy !req
845. Jefe, I forgot my bag at
the fountain.Copy !req
846. - Oh, well, go and get it.Copy !req
847. And hurry! Hurry!
I haven't a moment to lose.Copy !req
848. - Right.Copy !req
849. - That's it? That's the end
of the story?Copy !req
850. - Just about.Copy !req
851. Yeah, Ponce went back homeCopy !req
852. and he lived the rest
of his days with his family
and his grandchildren.Copy !req
853. He lived to a ripe old age,Copy !req
854. and finally died just like
everybody else.Copy !req
855. - Well, what about
the Fountain of Youth?Copy !req
856. - People are still looking
for it.Copy !req
857. What do you think we're doing?Copy !req
858. - That's true.Copy !req
859. But what about that guy,
Julio, the guy who fell into
the fountain?Copy !req
860. What happened to him?Copy !req
861. - I don't know.Copy !req
862. Hey, wait a second.Copy !req
863. Let's ask the guy who told me
the story.Copy !req
864. Hey, Julian!Copy !req
865. Hey, que pasa?Copy !req
866. How's it going?Copy !req
867. - Oh, you know,
always the same.Copy !req
868. difuzeCopy !req