1. Ah ha ha ha!
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2. Yes, that's better.
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3. Oh, hello,
boorsandghouls.
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4. I hope you'll excuse me
if I don't get up.
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5. I'm a little stiff today.
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6. Then again,
I'm a little stiff every day.
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7. Actually, I twisted my neck
playingcroak-et,
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8. but it wasn't hurting
the way I thought it should,
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9. so I called
mychiro-hack-tor.
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10. Of course, some people
look elsewhere for their pain,
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11. like the old man
in tonight's terror tale.
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12. His idea
of ananti-die-otic
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13. was to marry
a younger woman.
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14. Hee hee hee hee!
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15. Aah!
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16. Ahh!
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17. I call this plasma play...
Strung along.
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18. Hey, Clyde,
what's the matter?
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19. I kind of left
my dog here, koko.
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20. You left your
dog here?
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21. Hey, Clyde,
can't you read?
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22. This is a no barking zone.
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23. Oh, no.
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24. Oh, yeah, kiddo.
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25. I bet the cops collard him.
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26. Well, we better get
to the pound.
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27. Well, we better get
to the pound.
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28. Hope you had a good time, kids,
and remember,
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29. wherever you may go,
whatever you may seek,
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30. we'll all get together
same time next week.
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31. Oh, what a day!
It's perfect.
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32. Come on back in.
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33. Oh!
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34. Why don't you get back out?
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35. Why don't you get back out?
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36. Hi, honey.
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37. I can't get him
out of the house.
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38. Radio city music hall
presents
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39. Joseph renfield
and koko the clown.
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40. O.K., let's give
a big hand
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41. for koko the clown
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42. and cowboy Clyde.
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43. Here they are,
ladies and gentlemen,
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44. koko and Clyde.
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45. Koko and Clyde.
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46. Want my opinion?
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47. Not especially.
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48. How about taking
a little more off the top?
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49. Nobody asked you, koko.
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50. You've carved that head
for two months.
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51. You make those cheekbones
any higher...
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52. Oh, damn it!
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53. Don't say it.
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54. I don't want to hear
"I told you so."
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55. Koko been
bothering you again?
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56. Koko bothering me?
Are you kidding?
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57. I brought you
your mail.
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58. Why don't you
come for a swim?
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59. I don't want to take
you away from your friend.
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60. Lucy went home.
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61. For Christ sakes, Joe,
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62. you going to jealous of my
female friends too?
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63. I'm sorry, I guess
I'm just depressed.
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64. Of course you're depressed you
sit in this dark little room
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65. talking to yourself,
it's not healthy.
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66. Did you take
your medication today?
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67. I feel fine, really.
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68. What color should I wear
to your funeral?
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69. If you want another
heart attack, go ahead.
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70. Don't be angry with me,
kiddo.
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71. I'm not angry with you.
I'm just frustrated.
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72. You've got to take
better care of yourself.
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73. You've got to take
better care of yourself.
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74. She's magnificent,
isn't she, koko?
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75. She's a real piece of work,
all right.
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76. What is it?
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77. You won't believe it.
This is incredible.
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78. They want me
for a tribute
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79. to the golden age
of television.
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80. What?
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81. They want me to do
one of the old
koko and Clyde routines.
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82. Now, wait a minute.
Are you up for this?
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83. There's not much notice.
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84. Up to it, why I could
do it in my sleep.
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85. This is what I need.
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86. I'm going
out of my head.
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87. This could be the beginning
of a comeback.
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88. Don't blow it
out of proportion.
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89. It's just a tv show.
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90. But who knows?
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91. Maybe it'll get you
out of the house.
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92. Oh, yeah... Well,
there's so much to do.
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93. There's a ton of people
to call.
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94. Kiddo, I've been thinking.
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95. Instead of an old routine,
I'll do something new.
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96. Now, wait a minute.
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97. I don't want you
pushing yourself.
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98. I won't let you
get sick again.
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99. Sick? I haven't felt
this good in years.
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100. Let's have Dr. littman
check you out in case.
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101. Why? I'm on enough
medication already.
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102. All right,
no more doctors.
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103. Could we get someone
to help you?
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104. Would you do that
for me?
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105. Oh, I don't know anybody
anymore.
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106. Well, maybe I'll call
the trades tomorrow
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107. and place a classified.
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108. Classifieds.
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109. You never know who
you'll get from those.
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110. I'll talk
to my acting teacher.
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111. He might know someone
who could help you.
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112. All right.
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113. What's that all about?
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114. I don't know I guess
I feel inspired.
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115. Inspired aye.
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116. And this is
Joseph's workshop.
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117. I can't tell you
how excited I am.
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118. I grew up on
this stuff as a kid.
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119. Didn't we all.
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120. Oh, wow!
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121. Joseph, David is here.
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122. That's funny.
He knew you were coming.
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123. Wait here.
I'll go find him.
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124. O.K. Thanks.
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125. Don't touch him!
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126. You don't know
where he's been.
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127. Who is that?
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128. Who do you
want it to be?
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129. How the hell
did you do that?
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130. That's for me to know
and you to find out.
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131. Joseph, come on out.
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132. There's a guy out here
spying on us.
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133. Koko, try being nicer
to the young man.
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134. You don't want to
scare him away.
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135. I don't frighten easy,
Mr. renfield.
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136. For starters,
it's not Mr. renfield.
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137. It's Joseph, o.K.?
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138. Yes, sir.
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139. This is a real honor
for me.
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140. Did Ellen tell you
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141. kissing my ass
was part of the job?
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142. No, sir. Actually,
that was my idea.
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143. Uh-huh.
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144. So, how do you
know Ellen?
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145. She takes acting class
from a friend of mine.
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146. And do you know
each other very well?
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147. Actually, we've never met.
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148. I had to stop
taking the class.
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149. Oh. In that case,
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150. let's get
to the good stuff.
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151. Have you worked
with marionettes before?
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152. I have done some work
in animatronics.
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153. Uh, mechanical puppets,
using remote controls
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154. and computer circuits,
that sort of thing.
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155. I've got some pictures
I'd love to show you.
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156. No, no.
Puppets aren't machines.
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157. They're an extension
of the puppeteer.
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158. They're a part of you.
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159. You become part of them.
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160. If that's a problem
for you,
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161. you shouldn't do it.
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162. Mr. renfield—Joseph,
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163. I want to learn.
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164. That's why I'm here.
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165. I've got the chance
to learn the craft
from a master.
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166. I want that chance.
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167. I do.
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168. Great.
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169. Thanks.
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170. I told you I would.
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171. Yes, I know.
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172. We'll talk about it later.
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173. Rick,
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174. I said we'll
talk about it later.
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175. I have to go.
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176. Who's that?
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177. A friend from class.
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178. So, how's
what's-his-name
working out?
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179. David.
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180. I think he'll be fine.
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181. Great.
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182. What?
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183. He just seemed
too eager.
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184. You don't like him?
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185. No, he's fine.
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186. He comes
highly recommended.
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187. He just struck me
as too pushy.
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188. But if he helps you
get your show together,
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189. he's o.K. By me.
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190. I'm glad to see you
so pleased.
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191. I left some dinner
for you.
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192. Where are you going?
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193. Where I go
every Tuesday night,
my acting class.
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194. Do you have to go?
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195. Why can't we have
dinner at home?
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196. It's the only chance I get
to get out of the house.
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197. You may like being shut in,
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198. but I don't.
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199. Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
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200. It depends, koko.
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201. What are you thinking?
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202. She wouldn't do that
to us...
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203. Not after things have finally
started happening again.
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204. She wouldn't.
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205. Tell me you agree with me.
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206. Oh, there you are,
Clyde.
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207. I lost you in that wave.
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208. I lost me
in that wave, too.
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209. By the way, Clyde,
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210. damn it, I keep getting
the strings tangled.
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211. Well, now, it's okay.
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212. Don't get frustrated.
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213. You're using to much wrist.
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214. Now just think of the arms
and hands as a long appendage
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215. reaching down through
the controller.
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216. Into the puppet's toes.
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217. See, just back and
forth really easy.
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218. Like this.
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219. Just don't force it.
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220. It's amazing how
you do that.
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221. Thanks, kiddo.
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222. I've been in this
business a long time.
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223. It should be amazing.
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224. Oh, I'm sorry, here
you try a little.
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225. Oh, there you are, Clyde.
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226. I lost you in
that last wave.
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227. I lost me in
that last wave too.
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228. Oh, and by the way, Clyde.
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229. When you get
on the board,
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230. you're supposed to yell
"cowabunga,"
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231. not "help me, mommy."
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232. Thanks, koko.
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233. What do I yell
when the board
gets on top of me?
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234. That's when you yell
"help me, mommy."
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235. Oh, that's much better,
much better.
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236. Come on, come on.
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237. Hello, darling.
Wasn't David great?
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238. Lunchtime.
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239. He learned in two weeks
what took me two years.
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240. Did you catch
the scene?
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241. Looked o.K.
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242. For her that's a rave review.
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243. What'd you think
of the new lines?
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244. They're o.K.
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245. I thought they were great.
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246. David wrote them.
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247. Who told David to do that?
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248. He came up with the idea
and I liked it.
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249. Joe, you've been winning
emmys for writing
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250. since
before he was born.
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251. We hired him to help,
not change the act.
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252. All I did was
update the material
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253. from the fifties
to the nineties.
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254. Great, but the show
is a tribute to the fifties.
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255. I suggest
you change it back.
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256. The changes work better.
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257. Who's running the show,
you or him?
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258. You o.K., Joe?
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259. Yeah, I'm fine.
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260. Want me to go get her?
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261. No, no, I'll be o.K.
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262. Just got to
catch my breath.
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263. What's going on, Joe?
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264. Nothing.
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265. Come on this is me, David
you can talk to me.
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266. Is there some kind of problem
between you and Ellen
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267. you want to talk about?
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268. I think there's someone
in her acting class.
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269. You think
she's having an affair?
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270. Well, uh,
I'm being ridiculous.
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271. Let's get back to work.
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272. I can swing
by her acting class
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273. on Wednesday night
and check it out.
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274. It'd be no problem.
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275. Wednesday night?
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276. Her acting class
is on Tuesday night.
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277. It used to be
Tuesday night,
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278. but they changed it
a year ago.
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279. That's why
I had to drop out.
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280. Oh, yeah.
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281. Sorry, Joe.
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282. Really.
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283. That's okay.
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284. That's okay, I'm all right.
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285. That's okay, I'm all right.
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286. I don't think you should
come back tomorrow.
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287. What have you got against me?
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288. I don't understand
why you hate me so much.
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289. I'd like to do this
as quietly as possible,
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290. but if it's
a matter of money,
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291. I'm sure we can come
to some agreement.
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292. Is that what you think
this is about?
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293. You are disgusting.
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294. Do you know that?
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295. By the way,
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296. how long have you
been cheating
on your husband?
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297. How dare you!
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298. Stop it, you two.
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299. Did you hear
what he said?
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300. I want you
to fire him!
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301. I can't do the show
without him.
I need him.
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302. You need me.
I don't want him here.
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303. Joe, it's not worth
upsetting you.
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304. The show's the most
important thing.
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305. We'll be in touch.
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306. I promise.
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307. David,
don't go, please.
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308. What's the matter with you,
David is my friend.
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309. Oh, he's your friend, is he?
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310. You can have friends
but I can't?
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311. I never said you
can't have friends.
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312. That's news, in
the past 8 years
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313. I've lost every friend
because of you.
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314. I sick of your jealousy.
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315. I'm sick of you controlling me
like one of you damn puppets.
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316. Where are you going?
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317. To see a friend.
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318. I never did
trust that dame.
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319. Take my advice.
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320. All I'm saying is
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321. maybe you should just
check into it.
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322. Do it!
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323. Aha!
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324. I should've listened
to you koko.
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325. You knew.
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326. You knew.
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327. It wasn't exactly hard
to see coming.
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328. She's young and beautiful.
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329. You're just a tired
old man.
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330. What am I going to do?
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331. You mean if you were you
or if you were me?
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332. I'll divorce her...
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333. Call my lawyer
in the morning.
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334. I never want
to see her again.
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335. Divorce will cost you.
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336. I say you take matters
into your own hands.
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337. No, I...
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338. No. No.
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339. No, I can't.
I can't.
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340. Sure, you can.
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341. No.
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342. No.
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343. No, I—
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344. Koko?
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345. Koko?
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346. Aah!
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347. Aah! Ellen!
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348. Aah! Aah!
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349. Ha ha ha!
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350. Sorry, old man.
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351. Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
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352. Is he dead yet?
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353. Almost.
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354. Joseph, this is Rick.
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355. He's a puppeteer,
just like you.
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356. Aren't you, baby?
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357. Mmm.
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358. What do you think, Joe?
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359. I know
it's not as graceful
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360. as what you do,
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361. but I think
with a little money—
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362. your money—
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363. I think he'll end up
pretty damn good.
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364. Bye, Joe.
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365. You should
get cleaned up.
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366. Call 911.
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367. Where'd you put
the real koko?
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368. He's under there.
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369. Come on. We don't have
that much time.
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370. O.K.
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371. Uhh!
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372. Rick?
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373. Rick, what are you doing the
paramedics are coming.
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374. Rick, what are you doing?
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375. You have to get out of here.
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376. This isn't funny.
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377. Up here, kiddo.
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378. Aah!
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379. Aah!
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380. You're not going
to believe this.
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381. Yeah, I've seen just
about everything.
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382. Not like this
you haven't.
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383. Ha ha ha!
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384. Koko may have been
the puppet,
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385. but in the end,
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386. Joseph was the one
who paid formarrying-ette.
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387. As for me, kiddies,
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388. it seems my pain
in the neck
Copy !req
389. was more serious
than I thought,
Copy !req
390. but I'm almost finished
with myscare-apy.
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391. One more adjustment,
and I'll be out of here.
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392. Any time you're ready, bones.
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393. Hee hee hee!
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394. Now, that's what I call
painin full!
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395. Captioning made possible by
Warner bros.
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396. Captioned by the national
captioning institute
—www.Ncicap.Org—
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397. public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
national captioning institute
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