1. Can we please try and
shoo the toddlers away
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2. from the sunglasses stand?
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3. I know that's where they all like to go,
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4. but we're getting a lot of damage there.
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5. Also from the lower yogurts.
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6. They tend to just want
to put their fingers in.
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7. Something going on with you and Dina?
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8. No. What? No.
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9. I don't know, man, you guys are exchanging
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10. little peek-a-boo glances,
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11. and it's making me uncomfortable.
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12. Okay. The other night,
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13. when we were all locked in the store,
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14. Dina kind of... came on to me.
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15. - Wow.
- Yeah, right?
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16. I didn't know Dina was into fancy
little porcelain doll-men.
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17. So, while we haven't caught the raccoon yet,
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18. I do feel that we're starting
to have a better understanding
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19. of his patterns.
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20. So, you tap that?
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21. No, I felt bad.
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22. And I told her that I wasn't comfortable
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23. dating a supervisor,
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24. and she was cool with it.
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25. Quick thinking.
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26. Moving on, one final
announcement from Dina.
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27. Effective immediately,
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28. I will be stepping down from my position
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29. of assistant manager to associate level
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30. so that I may concentrate
on... personal matters.
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31. Well, I think I speak for everyone
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32. when I say that's really, really sad.
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33. I know that I'm gonna miss
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34. your constant criticism of me a lot.
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35. I'm gonna miss that too.
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36. Sure there's nothing we
can say to make you stay?
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37. Well, you know, there's always...
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38. Oh, too bad, so sad.
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39. Well, let's have an extra fun chant.
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40. Come on, give me a C!
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41. C!
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42. Why can't I stop smiling?
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43. I can't believe she's stepping down.
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44. Hmm. I wonder what her
personal matters could be.
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45. Hey, Jonah. You got any ideas?
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46. Me? No, I don't... Mm-mm.
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47. Are her birds okay?
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48. Has anybody checked the live webcam?
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49. Maybe she has gambling debts
and she had to take time off
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50. to do favors for the mob
boss that she owes money to.
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51. Or maybe it's something else.
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52. No, I wonder who's gonna replace her.
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53. A lot of people have been
suggesting it should be me.
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54. Kind of a groundswell.
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55. You know, she did mention a few weeks ago
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56. that her grandmother was sick.
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57. Oh, that's great!
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58. No, I didn't mean... No, it's, uh...
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59. I was just saying, you know,
like, if I get that age,
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60. somebody put a bullet in me.
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61. I'm here, reporting for duty.
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62. Oh, you're gonna be working here?
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63. With me?
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64. Yep. But I don't want
this to be awkward for you
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65. just because I used to be above you,
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66. so go ahead, boss lady.
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67. Tell me what to do.
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68. Okay, well, I'm the boss now,
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69. so you better do what I say.
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70. I make that joke. You don't make that joke.
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71. Okay, where do we start?
Look at all these fun colors.
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72. Hey, Glenn, you wanted to see me?
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73. Amy, come look out this window with me.
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74. See, most people would see a loading dock,
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75. but I see a...
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76. I don't want to be Assistant Manager.
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77. But you didn't even look out the window.
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78. I know. Look, I really
appreciate the offer, I do.
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79. But it's basically more work
for the same amount of money.
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80. Since when have you
been in this for the money?
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81. Pretty much from day one.
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82. Oh!
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83. Things are crazy for me right now.
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84. I'm taking these night college courses...
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85. I can't.
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86. Okay. I'll figure something out, I guess...
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87. but at least come over and
look out the window with me.
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88. It is a nice loading dock.
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89. It's a nice loading dock.
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90. Good morning, Ma'am.
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91. Do you want to not look so tired?
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92. Your loss.
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93. Hey, you. Where have you been?
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94. Me... oh, big store. You know, I...
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95. Sometimes I'll run into
people, and they'll say,
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96. "Hey, have you been on vacation?"
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97. and I'll be like, "Nah,
I was here the whole time."
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98. I love how you observe things.
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99. Yeah. Listen, Dina, the...
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100. - Do you like risotto?
- Huh?
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101. I make a nice risotto. I was thinking
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102. if you wanted to come over later tonight,
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103. I could make us some.
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104. And I have "Hoosiers" on Blu-ray.
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105. Well, that sounds like a great evening.
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106. Yeah. Gene Hackman, so...
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107. Right. Dina, do you think
this is really a good idea?
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108. You know, the whole
giving up your job thing?
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109. Oh, quitting that job
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110. was the best thing that's
ever happened to me.
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111. - It was?
- Heck, yeah.
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112. I was getting a stress rash in
the shape of Abraham Lincoln.
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113. But now it's disappearing.
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114. I mean, his hat's almost completely gone.
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115. Why am I going on about it?
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116. I mean, you're gonna see it soon enough.
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117. Um...
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118. But...
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119. I needed a change, honestly.
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120. Ever since my Nana died,
I've just been in such a rut.
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121. Oh, no, I'm s... I didn't... I'm so sorry.
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122. Yeah, sweet lady.
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123. But it was probably for the best, though.
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124. - I'm sure.
- I mean, she would not
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125. have been cool with the whole...
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126. I don't really know how else to say it...
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127. Jewishness of this relationship.
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128. Uh, the relationship
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129. Is something that we should talk about.
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130. Yeah. You know, I'm not
normally an insecure person,
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131. but now that it's all out in
the open, I gotta tell you,
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132. there was a couple of
times where I thought,
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133. "Am I being delusional?"
"Does he even like me?"
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134. "Like, I think he does."
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135. Or is he just stringing me
along like some sociopath?"
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136. Yeah, no.
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137. Nope, nope, that's not
me. I'm not a psychopath.
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138. - Sociopath.
- What's even the difference?
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139. A psychopath doesn't have a conscience.
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140. A sociopath knows what he's doing is wrong
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141. but does it anyway.
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142. 8:00 tonight?
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143. I can't say no.
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144. Hate to see you go, but
love to watch you leave.
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145. God, you look exhausted too.
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146. So I realized the answer to
our assistant manager problem
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147. has been right in front
of us, literally forever.
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148. You're gonna promote Myrtle?
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149. I decided to promote based on seniority,
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150. and she has both kinds.
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151. Plus, she has leadership experience.
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152. She was head switchboard operator
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153. for the Pall Mall cigarette company.
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154. Uh, yeah, but...
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155. maybe you should interview
some other people first.
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156. Well, I'm not very good with interviews.
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157. I like just about everybody I meet.
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158. I have virtually no standards.
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159. Okay, well, I could help you find someone.
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160. That is, if you haven't
already offered Myrtle the job.
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161. No...
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162. Well, I did, but I
don't think she heard me.
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163. Whoo! Ooh! Aah!
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164. So, instead of just telling
her you were not interested,
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165. you said you would go to
her house to eat risotto
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166. and watch Gene Hackman
inspire a small town?
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167. I'm not the bad news guy.
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168. I'm the good news guy, you know?
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169. "Nicole had a baby!"Aden made varsity!"
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170. "Did you hear about Dean? He beat Lupus!"
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171. People love hearing good news from me.
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172. Yeah, and you're totally
unique in that way.
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173. You need to toughen up.
All right, see this dude?
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174. Whatever I ask you, the answer is no.
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175. What?
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176. - I need to return this blender.
- Oh, okay.
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177. Well, it looks like you've got the receipt,
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178. It has not been opened,
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179. and you purchased it within 14 days.
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180. Can I give him a refund?
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181. Sorry, no refunds.
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182. What do you mean? Why not?
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183. Yeah, it seems like a pretty valid return.
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184. I do not have a good answer for that.
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185. So...
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186. Why don't we give him store credit?
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187. - Would that work for you?
- Yeah, that's fine.
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188. No store credit.
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189. I'd like to speak to your manager.
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190. No.
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191. You haven't seen the last of me.
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192. So what was the point of that?
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193. I don't know. I'm bored.
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194. All right, ma'am. I
cannot stress this enough.
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195. You need to be... so still.
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196. Like a... statue.
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197. Dina? Do you want me
to take over anything
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198. near the eyes?
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199. Nope. I'm fine. Learning on the job.
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200. Her eyes are so pretty, though.
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201. I'm almost wondering,
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202. what if you don't do any eyeliner at all?
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203. Well, we've got to do
something to draw attention
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204. away from that chin.
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205. I said don't move.
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206. Or do you want me to
strap you into this chair?
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207. Don't look at her. She
can't help you right now.
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208. Strength of a lion.
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209. Okay, this seems like something
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210. I need to know more about.
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211. Oh, I'm working on my presentation
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212. for assistant manager.
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213. I'm want to show them that I
have the strength of a lion,
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214. the intelligence of a dolphin,
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215. and the determination of a worker ant.
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216. And this is just what
I look like on a rabbit.
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217. I'm sold, but... what are you gonna do
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218. for the talent portion of the interview?
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219. Talent portion?
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220. I see we got some work to do.
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221. Okay, so, let's address
the elephant in the room.
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222. Why does a pharmacist want to
slum it as an assistant manager?
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223. I mean, is this a prank show?
Is there a camera watching?
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224. Are we being Plunked?
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225. Just...
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226. Truth is, I need a break.
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227. Have you ever held a
dying man's hand in yours
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228. while you had to tell him
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229. that we don't accept rewards
points for his medication?
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230. He literally died while
I was holding his hand.
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231. I don't think that's true.
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232. Well, I guess we'll never know.
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233. I got to say, Sandra, I am impressed.
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234. I did not expect you to
be interested in this job,
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235. but way to go, showing initiative.
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236. Oh.
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237. You're right. I'm sorry.
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238. I shouldn't have come here.
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239. Ow! Sorry.
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240. Sorry.
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241. Is this about the headphones?
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242. - What headphones?
- Oh! I don't know.
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243. I mean, I didn't take them.
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244. They probably forgot to
load them on the truck.
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245. Right.
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246. I mean, if that's what was stolen.
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247. We don't know if something was, first.
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248. That should be the first question we ask,
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249. before we make... accusations.
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250. - Is this your family?
- Oh, yeah.
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251. They're so clean.
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252. Your resume says you have a
lot of experience babysitting.
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253. Actually, it just says, "watching kids."
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254. Here's what I'm gonna need.
I'll need a 40% salary bump,
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255. access to a company car...
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256. Does the position come with stock options?
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257. - Um...
- You know what,
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258. let me answer that.
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259. The position will be
coming with stock options.
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260. When I was a teenager,
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261. I crashed my father's Hudson Super
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262. and blamed it on a Chinese.
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263. Okay, and what about your
three greatest weaknesses?
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264. If you don't believe me, then why don't you
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265. go check the tapes, okay?
Just check the tapes, man.
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266. It's all in the tapes. Check the tapes.
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267. Check the tapes. Check the tapes.
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268. Yeah, all right, we will.
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269. You guys actually tape us?
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270. That's so messed up.
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271. Let me make this very easy for you.
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272. I'm gonna give you five
seconds to make a decision,
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273. and then I walk.
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274. Five... four...
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275. This one's eyes are dead,
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276. but this one's eyes are alive.
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277. - What do you call her?
- Oh, her name is...
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278. - Do not tell him her name.
- Okay.
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279. Nope... offer's off the table.
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280. You blew it.
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281. - Oh, I knew it.
- Oh, well, so sad.
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282. Thanks for coming in anyway.
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283. But it's your lucky day.
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284. I'm gonna give you one more chance.
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285. Now my demands are doubled.
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286. Okay... ten, nine... Agh!
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287. No, Mateo, your future is not here,
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288. in Manila...
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289. It lies in America.
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290. All aboard! Next stop, Ellis Island.
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291. No, Rodrigo, stand back.
You're too close to the edge.
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292. You'll fall!
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293. No, Mateo, I want to
be the first to touch...
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294. Lady Libertyyyyyyyy...
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295. Oh, my God, you were right,
Mateo... you're always right!
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296. It actually goes on for much longer.
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297. I've seen enough. I like it.
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298. You got the steak.
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299. Now it's time to make it sizzle.
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300. Thank you so much for shopping at Cloud 9.
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301. Have a heavenly day.
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302. Next
custom... Dina.
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303. - Hey.
- Hey.
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304. Just on my break,
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305. so I thought I'd pick up
a couple odds and ends.
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306. Cool, cool.
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307. Famous risotto.
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308. Box of chocolates... you never
know what you're gonna get.
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309. Multiple sizes.
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310. You never know what you're gonna get.
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311. I'm sorry, can you explain the order again?
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312. As you go from left to right,
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313. then each one is worse
than the one before it.
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314. - Okay.
- But,
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315. If you go from right to left,
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316. then... each one is worse
than the one before it.
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317. Maybe your standards are too high.
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318. I mean, we're a retail department store.
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319. We're not hiring the King of England here.
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320. I just don't want to hire someone
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321. who's gonna make our daily lives miserable.
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322. Amy, come have a look
out the window with me.
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323. You know, in times of crisis,
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324. good people do what
needs to be done, and...
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325. Amy! Are you leaving or just peeing?
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326. Leaving.
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327. Okay. Just wanted to know if I should wait.
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328. Okay.
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329. You're so welcome.
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330. I can't believe we reuse this stuff.
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331. Doesn't seem sanitary.
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332. Well, there's usually
not so much blood on them.
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333. Well, even a little bit of blood...
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334. There's never any blood!
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335. Hey, can I talk to you for a second...
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336. privately?
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337. Yeah, you can talk to
me whatever way you like.
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338. Step into my office.
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339. Okay.
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340. Good. More street.
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341. Mateo for Assistant Manager!
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342. Mew mew mew. Peace!
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343. I think you can go bigger.
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344. Okay, look. Dina...
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345. This... this is
tricky, um...
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346. Shh, you're being too loud!
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347. Sorry, sorry.
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348. Okay! It's not a motel.
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349. Love's just in the air today, I guess.
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350. - Yeah, listen.
- Dina, the...
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351. There are some things that
I wanted to say to you,
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352. and I've been having
a tough time saying it,
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353. so I recorded it on my phone
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354. and I would like to play it...
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355. Hey, relax.
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356. Whatever it is, we will deal
with it together, as a couple.
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357. Okay, I'm just gonna...
I'm gonna press play, okay?
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358. Just... just force
myself to press play.
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359. Gala apples, hummus, kale chips.
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360. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.
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361. Skinny girl margarita mix...
That's not... that's not it.
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362. - Hey, it's okay.
- It's the wrong voice memo.
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363. Everything's awkward in
the beginning, you know?
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364. When you're still
getting to know someone...
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365. - Maybe if I sort by date.
- Before you've even kissed.
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366. - Just one second.
- Maybe we should just
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367. get that part out of the way.
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368. What part?
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369. This part.
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370. Uh...
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371. Oh, your teeth taste so good.
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372. Thank y...
Copy !req
373. Dina, I'm so sorry,
Copy !req
374. but I don't have the same feelings for you
Copy !req
375. that you do for
- Oh, I'm sorry.
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376. I felt like I Need to tell you
Copy !req
377. before either of us did anything that we regret...
Copy !req
378. I'm... that wasn't... I'm so sorry...
Copy !req
379. I gave you the wrong imprison.
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380. That phone has a really good speaker on it.
Copy !req
381. An amazing person, and yr
friendship means so much-
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382. Dina. Dina!
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383. I just hope we can we can continue...
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384. Okay, they're gone.
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385. - Wow, can you believe...
- That guy was a wuss!
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386. Yeah, he was the worst. Bend down a little more.
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387. I'm trying to look at myself in the mirror.
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388. Mm.
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389. I should say something to her.
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390. But you just broke up with
the lady over voice memo.
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391. Maybe just let her chill
out for a little bit.
Copy !req
392. You know what? I'm not
leaving it like this.
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393. Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, no, no, no, don't...
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394. Attention, shoppers:
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395. Are you about to do
something you might regret?
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396. We here at Cloud 9
encourage you to reconsider.
Copy !req
397. Just ask yourself,
Copy !req
398. "Am I doing this to help someone else
Copy !req
399. or to make myself feel better?"
Copy !req
400. Yeah, I'm still waiting
on a shipment for Housewares.
Copy !req
401. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
402. Hey, Glenn?
Copy !req
403. Weren't the shift schedules
supposed to come out today?
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404. Yeah, I'm on the phone.
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405. Okay, I just need to know
if I should come in tomorrow.
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406. Yeah, come in tomorrow. Sure...
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407. What time?
Copy !req
408. I don't care! Any time!
Copy !req
409. No, no, not anytime for the shipment.
Copy !req
410. Hello?
Copy !req
411. - Hey, Glenn?
- Mm?
Copy !req
412. Is everything okay?
Copy !req
413. Yeah, just trying to do two jobs here.
Copy !req
414. I think if I can just start
sleeping in tiny little bursts
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415. while I'm already blinking...
Copy !req
416. So, you're gonna try and do
both of these jobs yourself?
Copy !req
417. - That's crazy.
- What if someone had told
Copy !req
418. Ben Affleck that he
couldn't act and direct?
Copy !req
419. Then we never would've had
that movie about Iran, or...
Copy !req
420. Or, whatever... I'm sorry, I never saw it.
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421. - Glenn!
- What?
Copy !req
422. I'll take the job.
Copy !req
423. Oh, thank you!
Copy !req
424. You have no idea how hard this has been.
Copy !req
425. Though it has dramatically increased
Copy !req
426. my respect for Ben Affleck.
Copy !req
427. Well, today didn't work
out exactly as I planned.
Copy !req
428. Don't bother asking for details.
It's none of your business.
Copy !req
429. But I did kill it in cosmetics.
Copy !req
430. Yeah, you sure did.
Copy !req
431. You could improve, though.
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432. I'm gonna bring a grip squeezer tomorrow.
Copy !req
433. You need to control their faces more.
Copy !req
434. Hey, Dina, listen.
Copy !req
435. I know I should probably leave this alone,
Copy !req
436. but I just wanted to say I'm really sorry
Copy !req
437. about the way I handled everything.
Copy !req
438. I mean, I... you're an amazing person.
Copy !req
439. It's fine. You don't have to do this.
Copy !req
440. No, I do, because I mean it. I mean it.
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441. You know, you're gonna
meet someone terrific,
Copy !req
442. and I just hope you and I can...
Copy !req
443. - Hey, Mama.
- Hey, you ready?
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444. Yeah, I'm psyched. I've
never seen "Hoosiers."
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445. Oh, it'll change your life. Let's go.
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446. That was fast.
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447. Look, this doesn't have to be weird, okay?
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448. It just didn't work out. Sure, you're cute,
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449. but there's, uh... there's
a lot of cute around.
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450. See you tomorrow.
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451. Oh, hey, I should ask,
are you okay with birds?
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452. I have a lot of birds.
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453. I really appreciate it, Amy,
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454. and I know the job might be tough,
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455. but there are a lot of perks,
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456. like 5% additional discount,
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457. financial aid for continuing education,
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458. and... oh, and a
closer parking spot.
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459. - Wait, what?
- Yeah.
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460. You'll be parking next to me.
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461. Open your door with caution, please.
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462. No, they help you pay for college classes?
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463. Oh, yeah, but I think only half.
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464. Half...
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465. Yes!
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466. Huh.
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467. Interviewing for Assistant Manager,
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468. Mateo...
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469. Fernando...
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470. Aquino...
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471. Liwanag!
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472. Are you ready?
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473. Mateo, I'm sorry, I just
offered the job to Amy.
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474. I didn't know you were interested.
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475. Oh.
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476. I see.
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477. Congratulations.
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478. Thank you.
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