1. Can we please try and
shoo the toddlers awayCopy !req
2. from the sunglasses stand?Copy !req
3. I know that's where they all like to go,Copy !req
4. but we're getting a lot of damage there.Copy !req
5. Also from the lower yogurts.Copy !req
6. They tend to just want
to put their fingers in.Copy !req
7. Something going on with you and Dina?Copy !req
8. No. What? No.Copy !req
9. I don't know, man, you guys are exchangingCopy !req
10. little peek-a-boo glances,Copy !req
11. and it's making me uncomfortable.Copy !req
12. Okay. The other night,Copy !req
13. when we were all locked in the store,Copy !req
14. Dina kind of... came on to me.Copy !req
15. - Wow.
- Yeah, right?Copy !req
16. I didn't know Dina was into fancy
little porcelain doll-men.Copy !req
17. So, while we haven't caught the raccoon yet,Copy !req
18. I do feel that we're starting
to have a better understandingCopy !req
19. of his patterns.Copy !req
20. So, you tap that?Copy !req
21. No, I felt bad.Copy !req
22. And I told her that I wasn't comfortableCopy !req
23. dating a supervisor,Copy !req
24. and she was cool with it.Copy !req
25. Quick thinking.Copy !req
26. Moving on, one final
announcement from Dina.Copy !req
27. Effective immediately,Copy !req
28. I will be stepping down from my positionCopy !req
29. of assistant manager to associate levelCopy !req
30. so that I may concentrate
on... personal matters.Copy !req
31. Well, I think I speak for everyoneCopy !req
32. when I say that's really, really sad.Copy !req
33. I know that I'm gonna missCopy !req
34. your constant criticism of me a lot.Copy !req
35. I'm gonna miss that too.Copy !req
36. Sure there's nothing we
can say to make you stay?Copy !req
37. Well, you know, there's always...Copy !req
38. Oh, too bad, so sad.Copy !req
39. Well, let's have an extra fun chant.Copy !req
40. Come on, give me a C!Copy !req
41. C!Copy !req
42. Why can't I stop smiling?Copy !req
43. I can't believe she's stepping down.Copy !req
44. Hmm. I wonder what her
personal matters could be.Copy !req
45. Hey, Jonah. You got any ideas?Copy !req
46. Me? No, I don't... Mm-mm.Copy !req
47. Are her birds okay?Copy !req
48. Has anybody checked the live webcam?Copy !req
49. Maybe she has gambling debts
and she had to take time offCopy !req
50. to do favors for the mob
boss that she owes money to.Copy !req
51. Or maybe it's something else.Copy !req
52. No, I wonder who's gonna replace her.Copy !req
53. A lot of people have been
suggesting it should be me.Copy !req
54. Kind of a groundswell.Copy !req
55. You know, she did mention a few weeks agoCopy !req
56. that her grandmother was sick.Copy !req
57. Oh, that's great!Copy !req
58. No, I didn't mean... No, it's, uh...Copy !req
59. I was just saying, you know,
like, if I get that age,Copy !req
60. somebody put a bullet in me.Copy !req
61. I'm here, reporting for duty.Copy !req
62. Oh, you're gonna be working here?Copy !req
63. With me?Copy !req
64. Yep. But I don't want
this to be awkward for youCopy !req
65. just because I used to be above you,Copy !req
66. so go ahead, boss lady.Copy !req
67. Tell me what to do.Copy !req
68. Okay, well, I'm the boss now,Copy !req
69. so you better do what I say.Copy !req
70. I make that joke. You don't make that joke.Copy !req
71. Okay, where do we start?
Look at all these fun colors.Copy !req
72. Hey, Glenn, you wanted to see me?Copy !req
73. Amy, come look out this window with me.Copy !req
74. See, most people would see a loading dock,Copy !req
75. but I see a...Copy !req
76. I don't want to be Assistant Manager.Copy !req
77. But you didn't even look out the window.Copy !req
78. I know. Look, I really
appreciate the offer, I do.Copy !req
79. But it's basically more work
for the same amount of money.Copy !req
80. Since when have you
been in this for the money?Copy !req
81. Pretty much from day one.Copy !req
82. Oh!Copy !req
83. Things are crazy for me right now.Copy !req
84. I'm taking these night college courses...Copy !req
85. I can't.Copy !req
86. Okay. I'll figure something out, I guess...Copy !req
87. but at least come over and
look out the window with me.Copy !req
88. It is a nice loading dock.Copy !req
89. It's a nice loading dock.Copy !req
90. Good morning, Ma'am.Copy !req
91. Do you want to not look so tired?Copy !req
92. Your loss.Copy !req
93. Hey, you. Where have you been?Copy !req
94. Me... oh, big store. You know, I...Copy !req
95. Sometimes I'll run into
people, and they'll say,Copy !req
96. "Hey, have you been on vacation?"Copy !req
97. and I'll be like, "Nah,
I was here the whole time."Copy !req
98. I love how you observe things.Copy !req
99. Yeah. Listen, Dina, the...Copy !req
100. - Do you like risotto?
- Huh?Copy !req
101. I make a nice risotto. I was thinkingCopy !req
102. if you wanted to come over later tonight,Copy !req
103. I could make us some.Copy !req
104. And I have "Hoosiers" on Blu-ray.Copy !req
105. Well, that sounds like a great evening.Copy !req
106. Yeah. Gene Hackman, so...Copy !req
107. Right. Dina, do you think
this is really a good idea?Copy !req
108. You know, the whole
giving up your job thing?Copy !req
109. Oh, quitting that jobCopy !req
110. was the best thing that's
ever happened to me.Copy !req
111. - It was?
- Heck, yeah.Copy !req
112. I was getting a stress rash in
the shape of Abraham Lincoln.Copy !req
113. But now it's disappearing.Copy !req
114. I mean, his hat's almost completely gone.Copy !req
115. Why am I going on about it?Copy !req
116. I mean, you're gonna see it soon enough.Copy !req
117. Um...Copy !req
118. But...Copy !req
119. I needed a change, honestly.Copy !req
120. Ever since my Nana died,
I've just been in such a rut.Copy !req
121. Oh, no, I'm s... I didn't... I'm so sorry.Copy !req
122. Yeah, sweet lady.Copy !req
123. But it was probably for the best, though.Copy !req
124. - I'm sure.
- I mean, she would notCopy !req
125. have been cool with the whole...Copy !req
126. I don't really know how else to say it...Copy !req
127. Jewishness of this relationship.Copy !req
128. Uh, the relationshipCopy !req
129. Is something that we should talk about.Copy !req
130. Yeah. You know, I'm not
normally an insecure person,Copy !req
131. but now that it's all out in
the open, I gotta tell you,Copy !req
132. there was a couple of
times where I thought,Copy !req
133. "Am I being delusional?"
"Does he even like me?"Copy !req
134. "Like, I think he does."Copy !req
135. Or is he just stringing me
along like some sociopath?"Copy !req
136. Yeah, no.Copy !req
137. Nope, nope, that's not
me. I'm not a psychopath.Copy !req
138. - Sociopath.
- What's even the difference?Copy !req
139. A psychopath doesn't have a conscience.Copy !req
140. A sociopath knows what he's doing is wrongCopy !req
141. but does it anyway.Copy !req
142. 8:00 tonight?Copy !req
143. I can't say no.Copy !req
144. Hate to see you go, but
love to watch you leave.Copy !req
145. God, you look exhausted too.Copy !req
146. So I realized the answer to
our assistant manager problemCopy !req
147. has been right in front
of us, literally forever.Copy !req
148. You're gonna promote Myrtle?Copy !req
149. I decided to promote based on seniority,Copy !req
150. and she has both kinds.Copy !req
151. Plus, she has leadership experience.Copy !req
152. She was head switchboard operatorCopy !req
153. for the Pall Mall cigarette company.Copy !req
154. Uh, yeah, but...Copy !req
155. maybe you should interview
some other people first.Copy !req
156. Well, I'm not very good with interviews.Copy !req
157. I like just about everybody I meet.Copy !req
158. I have virtually no standards.Copy !req
159. Okay, well, I could help you find someone.Copy !req
160. That is, if you haven't
already offered Myrtle the job.Copy !req
161. No...Copy !req
162. Well, I did, but I
don't think she heard me.Copy !req
163. Whoo! Ooh! Aah!Copy !req
164. So, instead of just telling
her you were not interested,Copy !req
165. you said you would go to
her house to eat risottoCopy !req
166. and watch Gene Hackman
inspire a small town?Copy !req
167. I'm not the bad news guy.Copy !req
168. I'm the good news guy, you know?Copy !req
169. "Nicole had a baby!"Aden made varsity!"Copy !req
170. "Did you hear about Dean? He beat Lupus!"Copy !req
171. People love hearing good news from me.Copy !req
172. Yeah, and you're totally
unique in that way.Copy !req
173. You need to toughen up.
All right, see this dude?Copy !req
174. Whatever I ask you, the answer is no.Copy !req
175. What?Copy !req
176. - I need to return this blender.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
177. Well, it looks like you've got the receipt,Copy !req
178. It has not been opened,Copy !req
179. and you purchased it within 14 days.Copy !req
180. Can I give him a refund?Copy !req
181. Sorry, no refunds.Copy !req
182. What do you mean? Why not?Copy !req
183. Yeah, it seems like a pretty valid return.Copy !req
184. I do not have a good answer for that.Copy !req
185. So...Copy !req
186. Why don't we give him store credit?Copy !req
187. - Would that work for you?
- Yeah, that's fine.Copy !req
188. No store credit.Copy !req
189. I'd like to speak to your manager.Copy !req
190. No.Copy !req
191. You haven't seen the last of me.Copy !req
192. So what was the point of that?Copy !req
193. I don't know. I'm bored.Copy !req
194. All right, ma'am. I
cannot stress this enough.Copy !req
195. You need to be... so still.Copy !req
196. Like a... statue.Copy !req
197. Dina? Do you want me
to take over anythingCopy !req
198. near the eyes?Copy !req
199. Nope. I'm fine. Learning on the job.Copy !req
200. Her eyes are so pretty, though.Copy !req
201. I'm almost wondering,Copy !req
202. what if you don't do any eyeliner at all?Copy !req
203. Well, we've got to do
something to draw attentionCopy !req
204. away from that chin.Copy !req
205. I said don't move.Copy !req
206. Or do you want me to
strap you into this chair?Copy !req
207. Don't look at her. She
can't help you right now.Copy !req
208. Strength of a lion.Copy !req
209. Okay, this seems like somethingCopy !req
210. I need to know more about.Copy !req
211. Oh, I'm working on my presentationCopy !req
212. for assistant manager.Copy !req
213. I'm want to show them that I
have the strength of a lion,Copy !req
214. the intelligence of a dolphin,Copy !req
215. and the determination of a worker ant.Copy !req
216. And this is just what
I look like on a rabbit.Copy !req
217. I'm sold, but... what are you gonna doCopy !req
218. for the talent portion of the interview?Copy !req
219. Talent portion?Copy !req
220. I see we got some work to do.Copy !req
221. Okay, so, let's address
the elephant in the room.Copy !req
222. Why does a pharmacist want to
slum it as an assistant manager?Copy !req
223. I mean, is this a prank show?
Is there a camera watching?Copy !req
224. Are we being Plunked?Copy !req
225. Just...Copy !req
226. Truth is, I need a break.Copy !req
227. Have you ever held a
dying man's hand in yoursCopy !req
228. while you had to tell himCopy !req
229. that we don't accept rewards
points for his medication?Copy !req
230. He literally died while
I was holding his hand.Copy !req
231. I don't think that's true.Copy !req
232. Well, I guess we'll never know.Copy !req
233. I got to say, Sandra, I am impressed.Copy !req
234. I did not expect you to
be interested in this job,Copy !req
235. but way to go, showing initiative.Copy !req
236. Oh.Copy !req
237. You're right. I'm sorry.Copy !req
238. I shouldn't have come here.Copy !req
239. Ow! Sorry.Copy !req
240. Sorry.Copy !req
241. Is this about the headphones?Copy !req
242. - What headphones?
- Oh! I don't know.Copy !req
243. I mean, I didn't take them.Copy !req
244. They probably forgot to
load them on the truck.Copy !req
245. Right.Copy !req
246. I mean, if that's what was stolen.Copy !req
247. We don't know if something was, first.Copy !req
248. That should be the first question we ask,Copy !req
249. before we make... accusations.Copy !req
250. - Is this your family?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
251. They're so clean.Copy !req
252. Your resume says you have a
lot of experience babysitting.Copy !req
253. Actually, it just says, "watching kids."Copy !req
254. Here's what I'm gonna need.
I'll need a 40% salary bump,Copy !req
255. access to a company car...Copy !req
256. Does the position come with stock options?Copy !req
257. - Um...
- You know what,Copy !req
258. let me answer that.Copy !req
259. The position will be
coming with stock options.Copy !req
260. When I was a teenager,Copy !req
261. I crashed my father's Hudson SuperCopy !req
262. and blamed it on a Chinese.Copy !req
263. Okay, and what about your
three greatest weaknesses?Copy !req
264. If you don't believe me, then why don't youCopy !req
265. go check the tapes, okay?
Just check the tapes, man.Copy !req
266. It's all in the tapes. Check the tapes.Copy !req
267. Check the tapes. Check the tapes.Copy !req
268. Yeah, all right, we will.Copy !req
269. You guys actually tape us?Copy !req
270. That's so messed up.Copy !req
271. Let me make this very easy for you.Copy !req
272. I'm gonna give you five
seconds to make a decision,Copy !req
273. and then I walk.Copy !req
274. Five... four...Copy !req
275. This one's eyes are dead,Copy !req
276. but this one's eyes are alive.Copy !req
277. - What do you call her?
- Oh, her name is...Copy !req
278. - Do not tell him her name.
- Okay.Copy !req
279. Nope... offer's off the table.Copy !req
280. You blew it.Copy !req
281. - Oh, I knew it.
- Oh, well, so sad.Copy !req
282. Thanks for coming in anyway.Copy !req
283. But it's your lucky day.Copy !req
284. I'm gonna give you one more chance.Copy !req
285. Now my demands are doubled.Copy !req
286. Okay... ten, nine... Agh!Copy !req
287. No, Mateo, your future is not here,Copy !req
288. in Manila...Copy !req
289. It lies in America.Copy !req
290. All aboard! Next stop, Ellis Island.Copy !req
291. No, Rodrigo, stand back.
You're too close to the edge.Copy !req
292. You'll fall!Copy !req
293. No, Mateo, I want to
be the first to touch...Copy !req
294. Lady Libertyyyyyyyy...Copy !req
295. Oh, my God, you were right,
Mateo... you're always right!Copy !req
296. It actually goes on for much longer.Copy !req
297. I've seen enough. I like it.Copy !req
298. You got the steak.Copy !req
299. Now it's time to make it sizzle.Copy !req
300. Thank you so much for shopping at Cloud 9.Copy !req
301. Have a heavenly day.Copy !req
302. Next
custom... Dina.Copy !req
303. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
304. Just on my break,Copy !req
305. so I thought I'd pick up
a couple odds and ends.Copy !req
306. Cool, cool.Copy !req
307. Famous risotto.Copy !req
308. Box of chocolates... you never
know what you're gonna get.Copy !req
309. Multiple sizes.Copy !req
310. You never know what you're gonna get.Copy !req
311. I'm sorry, can you explain the order again?Copy !req
312. As you go from left to right,Copy !req
313. then each one is worse
than the one before it.Copy !req
314. - Okay.
- But,Copy !req
315. If you go from right to left,Copy !req
316. then... each one is worse
than the one before it.Copy !req
317. Maybe your standards are too high.Copy !req
318. I mean, we're a retail department store.Copy !req
319. We're not hiring the King of England here.Copy !req
320. I just don't want to hire someoneCopy !req
321. who's gonna make our daily lives miserable.Copy !req
322. Amy, come have a look
out the window with me.Copy !req
323. You know, in times of crisis,Copy !req
324. good people do what
needs to be done, and...Copy !req
325. Amy! Are you leaving or just peeing?Copy !req
326. Leaving.Copy !req
327. Okay. Just wanted to know if I should wait.Copy !req
328. Okay.Copy !req
329. You're so welcome.Copy !req
330. I can't believe we reuse this stuff.Copy !req
331. Doesn't seem sanitary.Copy !req
332. Well, there's usually
not so much blood on them.Copy !req
333. Well, even a little bit of blood...Copy !req
334. There's never any blood!Copy !req
335. Hey, can I talk to you for a second...Copy !req
336. privately?Copy !req
337. Yeah, you can talk to
me whatever way you like.Copy !req
338. Step into my office.Copy !req
339. Okay.Copy !req
340. Good. More street.Copy !req
341. Mateo for Assistant Manager!Copy !req
342. Mew mew mew. Peace!Copy !req
343. I think you can go bigger.Copy !req
344. Okay, look. Dina...Copy !req
345. This... this is
tricky, um...Copy !req
346. Shh, you're being too loud!Copy !req
347. Sorry, sorry.Copy !req
348. Okay! It's not a motel.Copy !req
349. Love's just in the air today, I guess.Copy !req
350. - Yeah, listen.
- Dina, the...Copy !req
351. There are some things that
I wanted to say to you,Copy !req
352. and I've been having
a tough time saying it,Copy !req
353. so I recorded it on my phoneCopy !req
354. and I would like to play it...Copy !req
355. Hey, relax.Copy !req
356. Whatever it is, we will deal
with it together, as a couple.Copy !req
357. Okay, I'm just gonna...
I'm gonna press play, okay?Copy !req
358. Just... just force
myself to press play.Copy !req
359. Gala apples, hummus, kale chips.Copy !req
360. Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.Copy !req
361. Skinny girl margarita mix...
That's not... that's not it.Copy !req
362. - Hey, it's okay.
- It's the wrong voice memo.Copy !req
363. Everything's awkward in
the beginning, you know?Copy !req
364. When you're still
getting to know someone...Copy !req
365. - Maybe if I sort by date.
- Before you've even kissed.Copy !req
366. - Just one second.
- Maybe we should justCopy !req
367. get that part out of the way.Copy !req
368. What part?Copy !req
369. This part.Copy !req
370. Uh...Copy !req
371. Oh, your teeth taste so good.Copy !req
372. Thank y...Copy !req
373. Dina, I'm so sorry,Copy !req
374. but I don't have the same feelings for youCopy !req
375. that you do for
- Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
376. I felt like I Need to tell youCopy !req
377. before either of us did anything that we regret...Copy !req
378. I'm... that wasn't... I'm so sorry...Copy !req
379. I gave you the wrong imprison.Copy !req
380. That phone has a really good speaker on it.Copy !req
381. An amazing person, and yr
friendship means so much-Copy !req
382. Dina. Dina!Copy !req
383. I just hope we can we can continue...Copy !req
384. Okay, they're gone.Copy !req
385. - Wow, can you believe...
- That guy was a wuss!Copy !req
386. Yeah, he was the worst. Bend down a little more.Copy !req
387. I'm trying to look at myself in the mirror.Copy !req
388. Mm.Copy !req
389. I should say something to her.Copy !req
390. But you just broke up with
the lady over voice memo.Copy !req
391. Maybe just let her chill
out for a little bit.Copy !req
392. You know what? I'm not
leaving it like this.Copy !req
393. Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, no, no, no, don't...Copy !req
394. Attention, shoppers:Copy !req
395. Are you about to do
something you might regret?Copy !req
396. We here at Cloud 9
encourage you to reconsider.Copy !req
397. Just ask yourself,Copy !req
398. "Am I doing this to help someone elseCopy !req
399. or to make myself feel better?"Copy !req
400. Yeah, I'm still waiting
on a shipment for Housewares.Copy !req
401. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
402. Hey, Glenn?Copy !req
403. Weren't the shift schedules
supposed to come out today?Copy !req
404. Yeah, I'm on the phone.Copy !req
405. Okay, I just need to know
if I should come in tomorrow.Copy !req
406. Yeah, come in tomorrow. Sure...Copy !req
407. What time?Copy !req
408. I don't care! Any time!Copy !req
409. No, no, not anytime for the shipment.Copy !req
410. Hello?Copy !req
411. - Hey, Glenn?
- Mm?Copy !req
412. Is everything okay?Copy !req
413. Yeah, just trying to do two jobs here.Copy !req
414. I think if I can just start
sleeping in tiny little burstsCopy !req
415. while I'm already blinking...Copy !req
416. So, you're gonna try and do
both of these jobs yourself?Copy !req
417. - That's crazy.
- What if someone had toldCopy !req
418. Ben Affleck that he
couldn't act and direct?Copy !req
419. Then we never would've had
that movie about Iran, or...Copy !req
420. Or, whatever... I'm sorry, I never saw it.Copy !req
421. - Glenn!
- What?Copy !req
422. I'll take the job.Copy !req
423. Oh, thank you!Copy !req
424. You have no idea how hard this has been.Copy !req
425. Though it has dramatically increasedCopy !req
426. my respect for Ben Affleck.Copy !req
427. Well, today didn't work
out exactly as I planned.Copy !req
428. Don't bother asking for details.
It's none of your business.Copy !req
429. But I did kill it in cosmetics.Copy !req
430. Yeah, you sure did.Copy !req
431. You could improve, though.Copy !req
432. I'm gonna bring a grip squeezer tomorrow.Copy !req
433. You need to control their faces more.Copy !req
434. Hey, Dina, listen.Copy !req
435. I know I should probably leave this alone,Copy !req
436. but I just wanted to say I'm really sorryCopy !req
437. about the way I handled everything.Copy !req
438. I mean, I... you're an amazing person.Copy !req
439. It's fine. You don't have to do this.Copy !req
440. No, I do, because I mean it. I mean it.Copy !req
441. You know, you're gonna
meet someone terrific,Copy !req
442. and I just hope you and I can...Copy !req
443. - Hey, Mama.
- Hey, you ready?Copy !req
444. Yeah, I'm psyched. I've
never seen "Hoosiers."Copy !req
445. Oh, it'll change your life. Let's go.Copy !req
446. That was fast.Copy !req
447. Look, this doesn't have to be weird, okay?Copy !req
448. It just didn't work out. Sure, you're cute,Copy !req
449. but there's, uh... there's
a lot of cute around.Copy !req
450. See you tomorrow.Copy !req
451. Oh, hey, I should ask,
are you okay with birds?Copy !req
452. I have a lot of birds.Copy !req
453. I really appreciate it, Amy,Copy !req
454. and I know the job might be tough,Copy !req
455. but there are a lot of perks,Copy !req
456. like 5% additional discount,Copy !req
457. financial aid for continuing education,Copy !req
458. and... oh, and a
closer parking spot.Copy !req
459. - Wait, what?
- Yeah.Copy !req
460. You'll be parking next to me.Copy !req
461. Open your door with caution, please.Copy !req
462. No, they help you pay for college classes?Copy !req
463. Oh, yeah, but I think only half.Copy !req
464. Half...Copy !req
465. Yes!Copy !req
466. Huh.Copy !req
467. Interviewing for Assistant Manager,Copy !req
468. Mateo...Copy !req
469. Fernando...Copy !req
470. Aquino...Copy !req
471. Liwanag!Copy !req
472. Are you ready?Copy !req
473. Mateo, I'm sorry, I just
offered the job to Amy.Copy !req
474. I didn't know you were interested.Copy !req
475. Oh.Copy !req
476. I see.Copy !req
477. Congratulations.Copy !req
478. Thank you.Copy !req