Superjail! 2x7

Directed by Christy Karacas

Jailbot is starting to show his age. And when Jared buys a sleek new replacement online, it might be time to put the Warden's beloved old companion down into storage.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Aah! Huh?

2. Oh! Aah!

3. Aah!

4. Goddamn you, live!

5. Uh, sir, uh, Jailbot's

6. been showing his age for some time now.

7. Face it, warden. The old dog's hurting.

8. But Jailbot still has so much to give.

9. We haven't even tried your new nacho dispenser yet,

10. have we, boy? Maybe it's time we talked about a replacement?

11. Sacrilege! Jailbot's been at my side

12. since the very beginning.

13. His inception was my finest hour.

14. Oh, how my brow dripped with hot,

15. salty imagination as he sputtered into being.

16. Jailbot helped build this Superjail and defend it

17. with every bolt in his body.

18. He can't just be replaced like your thinning hair

19. or your alcohol-soaked liver!

20. I refuse to build another!

21. I figured as much.

22. So, yesterday, I found the cutest little fellow online.

23. I think he'd really like to meet you.

24. Really? Sure!

25. And the plucky little scamp even comes pre-loaded

26. with all necessary prison-maintenance protocols.

27. Ooh, shiny.

28. Uh, well, he may have the look,

29. but it'll take more than a showroom sheen

30. to hack it in my Superjail.

31. So, warden's got a new toy, eh?

32. I hope the batteries —

33. Please.

34. I've built nightlights that could do that.

35. Efficient, I suppose.

36. But what about that little something extra?

37. I need a full-lifestyle robot for the busy jailer on the go.

38. Ooh, such heightened definition.

39. Maybe a little upgrade wouldn't hurt after all.

40. I knew you'd come around, sir.

41. Sure Jailbot will be missed,

42. but you can always visit him down in storage.

43. If "storage" means "my heart," then absolutely.

44. But the real storage gives me the willies. Ugh!

45. Don't worry, kiddo.

46. Maybe someday they'll have a cure

47. for being all old and busted up.

48. See ya.

49. Gee, I don't know.

50. It's so flat, so gray.

51. Where's the style, the color, the curves and wiggles,

52. the kinks and dinks and spindling dead ends?

53. Well, when you put it that way...

54. Well, you two are getting along,

55. not to mention raising our overall efficiency by 400%.

56. What can I say? My guy knows his stuff.

57. Oh, hey. Is that gum?

58. [ Pop! ] Jailbot 2.0 says gum's bad for workplace concentration.

59. B-But if I don't chew gum, I'll smoke, and if I smoke,

60. I'll drink, and if I drink, I'll shoot myself,

61. and if I shoot myself, I — I won't get these

62. bed-frame invoices finished! Invoices? No, no.

63. Jailbot 2.0 took care of that hours ago.

64. He did? Look, Jailbot 2.0 seems to

65. have this math stuff handled, but, hey, no one's

66. watered the ferns this morning.

67. Showtime, fellas.

68. Hey! No staring at other men!

69. You know I forbid mind-cheating.

70. How do you not stare at a shower rape?

71. Oh! Uh, um... No one's escaping through here.

72. I'll just, uh, get back to my rounds and —

73. No need! Look, Jailbot 2.0's

74. got everything under control here.

75. Maybe you could pitch in and make sure no one's

76. stealing from the vending machine.

77. Thanks.

78. Hey!

79. Oh, sorry you had to find out like this, pal,

80. but we're no longer offering support for your model.

81. Okay, okay, okay.

82. Try it now.

83. I bet you'll never guess.

84. That's it!

85. That's exactly what I had for lunch!

86. You're amazing!

87. Damn it!

88. I can't get through the day without a nervous habit!

89. I've had to start biting my fingernails!

90. Ew! Hey, why aren't you on your patrol shift?

91. Same reason you're picking gum from under a chair.

92. That new robot's doing our jobs.

93. This is crazy!

94. I think it's time we talked some sense into the warden!

95. Can it be true?

96. Alice, I never knew you were hiding such a huge secret.

97. Oh, boy.

98. Look how it curves

99. and droops down like that.

100. Just horrifying! Sir!

101. The robot's standards are ridiculous!

102. It wants to run this whole jail by itself.

103. How dare you blaspheme my best buddy?

104. You obsolete ingrates belong in storage

105. with the rest of the useless junk my Jailbot 2.0's replaced!

106. Consider yourselves demoted!

107. Oh, now you've got me all tense!

108. Jailbot 2.0, commence vibrate mode!

109. I am organizing "abacuses" through "ant farms"?

110. I suppose it could have been worse.

111. Extermination duty.

112. What a joke.

113. Man, is it dull down here.

114. Jailbot 2.0, I've gone a whole five minutes

115. without entertainment! Launch my cartoon protocol!

116. Bored now! Launch the GPS protocol.

117. I want to see my blip on the map again.

118. Oh-ho! There's my blip!

119. Jailbot 2.0, you're amazing.

120. Everything's just wonderful!

121. Wonderful and — and — and... square.

122. And sterile.

123. Are you really sure these new upgrades

124. are right for Superjail?

125. Yeah, I know, but... Ooh, wide screen.

126. Let's forget about it over one of your famous mocha lattes.

127. How did things ever get like this, Alice?

128. Gee, I don't know, Jared.

129. I just don't know. Oh, wait.

130. You bought a new robot that obsoleted us

131. out of our jobs, dick.

132. Ouch! Oh, you're right.

133. It is my fault.

134. Sure, Jailbot was broken, but weren't we all at some point?

135. Please! I can't go into prison!

136. I was just the money man!

137. I didn't know I was working for the Mafia!

138. Aah!

139. Hello, gentlemen! I am the warden,

140. and you are quite welcome for your final chance at redemption.

141. Oh, fiddlesticks!

142. This thing's always jamming on me!

143. It's no wonder, mister, uh... space jailer, sir.

144. Uh, you could easily reallocate tubing from those

145. elaborate candy machines and replace them

146. with far cheaper parts from fledgling nations,

147. incentivizing foreign investment to comp—

148. Bobbleheaded man, my interest is piqued.

149. How would you like to commute your sentence

150. and come work for me?

151. Gee, I — I don't know.

152. Hey, little fella. Ooh.

153. Okay! Okay! I'll do it!

154. And that was the first time I ever felt like I belonged.

155. Yeah, I know what you mean.

156. This job bailed me out of some rough times, too.

157. I was kind of going through a phase at my last gig.

158. I hadn't found my true self yet.

159. Aah!

160. But that all changed when I fell for my old warden.

161. Afternoon, big Al.

162. My love for him led me to my true self.

163. I finally found a way we could be together,

164. but we were just too different,

165. and I just couldn't be what he wanted,

166. if you know what I mean.

167. He was into dudes.

168. Get — Get out! You're fired, you — you freak!

169. I was so messed up over it, I had to quit.

170. Sure, I found myself, but I also found myself alone.

171. Prisoners tell tales of you.

172. They say you're the worst, which means you're the best.

173. They never mentioned you were so ravishing.

174. Now this gig's gone to hell, too.

175. Oh, that darn robot's just no good for Superjail

176. whether the warden sees it or not!

177. You know, we could get rid of it if only we had...

178. Jailbot?

179. Jailbot, you're okay!

180. Your replacement is ruining Superjail!

181. We got to take him down, and we'll need all the man-

182. and bot-power we can get.

183. Okay, okay, okay!

184. Now launch the "view outside my window" protocol.

185. Hey, is this smudge on your screen or the window?

186. If you could clean both, that'd be super.

187. Oh, and let's end the toilet protocol.

188. Uh, hello?

189. My pants aren't gonna pull up themselves, buddy.

190. "Terminate"?

191. You can't fire me.

192. I'm the warden!

193. Classic Jailbot!

194. You're my hero.

195. Jailbot 2.0, you're obsolete!

196. Oh, Jared, heh, Alice — Ugh!

197. And those things.

198. Awkward.

199. Hmm, the website did mention some issues with multitasking.

200. I just charged him an hour ago.

201. The battery on these is pathetic!

202. My God. What have I become?

203. Guys, can you ever forgive me?

204. Without you, Superjail has no soul.

205. Sure, you're not perfect,

206. but our flaws are what make us special.

207. Without flaws, there'd be no jails.

208. And without flawed jails, there'd be no Superjail!

209. And without Superjail —

210. Uh, you really need to pull up your pants.

211. Thanks, buddy.

212. Hey, uh, I don't supposed you've got a vibrate mode.