Suits 1x2

1. Uh...

2. What is that, three in a row?

3. That would be four, actually.

4. Oh, God.

5. Come on. What do you say? We go five out of nine?

6. So you can keep abusing me? No, thank you. I'm done.

7. Oh, come on. I'll spot you three.

8. Game time's over, Wyatt. They're here.

9. They're here?

10. Get set up in the conference room.

11. Yeah. No, I'll just, uh...

12. Get set up in the conference room.

13. You did let him win, right?

14. It wasn't easy. The guy has the coordination of a two-year-old.

15. I know. The last time these venture capitalists came in,

16. I took him boxing to calm him down.

17. I basically had to punch myself in the face to let him win.

18. I don't get it. I mean, if he's such a genius,

19. why does he get so nervous around a bunch of investors?

20. Well, you spend two years

21. working on a satellite phone that fits in your pocket

22. and then bet the company on it.

23. You'd be a little nervous, too, I bet.

24. The prototype. I can't find it. I don't know where I...

25. You mean this?

26. (SIGHS) I don't know what I'd do without you.

27. - Fail miserably. - I would.

28. - Is that the, uh... - $20 million prototype, yes.

29. And you don't even get to look at this bad boy

30. until after we close the deal today.

31. Wow. They're like storm troopers.

32. Storm troopers don't write checks.

33. All you've got to do is walk in there,

34. show them how the phone works.

35. Right. And Suntech Digital

36. will be a new force in global communications.

37. Let's knock them dead.

38. All right.

39. Whoa, whoa. Where do you think you're going?

40. Into the room. With the people.

41. Wrong. That's the adult table in there,

42. and you haven't earned the privilege yet.

43. But I... I played air hockey with him.

44. You need to go back to the office and file the patent for the phone.

45. A patent? I don't know how to file a patent.

46. - Figure it out. - Can't we do that after...

47. No. And you keep talking, I'm going to start billing you.

48. And my time runs $1,000 an hour.

49. "But isn't this our time, Mr. Hand?"

50. I stand corrected. Your Fast Times at Ridgemont High quote,

51. that proves you belong at the adult table.

52. Right. That's a great movie, and it spoke to a generation.

53. Hey. You busy?

54. Okay. Have you ever filed a patent before?

55. I just got back from this meeting with Harvey,

56. and he wants me to file this patent,

57. but I have no idea what that paperwork looks like. So...

58. You know, any help in this arena would be really...

59. Did Harvey call you and tell you to do that?

60. If it isn't the golden boy. You're, uh, Harvey's project, right?

61. What's your name?

62. Mike. Mike Ross.

63. Gregory Boone. So what are you doing here?

64. Weren't you signing some big deal this afternoon downtown?

65. Well, evidently, I haven't earned the privilege yet.

66. You get the adult table speech?

67. Instead of watching the deal close, I get to file the patent.

68. Yeah, those suck.

69. Wait. You... You've done one of these before?

70. Like, a hundred. Why?

71. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.

72. Oh. It's okay. You don't have to apologize.

73. I took care of it.

74. The patent claim? I negotiated a deal to get it done.

75. What are you talking about?

76. Gregory. He agreed to file it for me.

77. And all I have to do is proof his Bainbridge briefs.

78. Ah. That explains why he said to give you this.

79. And why he called you a sucker.

80. He called me a what, now?

81. Mike Ross, allow me to introduce the Bainbridge briefs.

82. - Which stack? - All of them.

83. Wait a minute. Are these all...

84. Still printing? Yeah. I give it about a half hour.

85. Oh. It's six printers, 23 pages a minute, 30 minutes.

86. That's 4,140 pages.

87. Plus all this.

88. Which means the next time you negotiate a deal,

89. I would suggest you get your facts straight.

90. Ugh! I am a sucker.

91. Mmm-hmm.

92. When did that happen?

93. See the money, wanna stay for your meal

94. Get another piece ofpie for your wife

95. Everybody wanna know how it feel

96. Everybody wanna see what it's like

97. I'll even eat a bean pie I don't mind

98. Me and missy is so early

99. Busy, busy making money

100. All right!

101. All step back I'm 'bout to dance

102. The greenback boogie

103. Nice of you to join us this morning.

104. For your information, Mr. Sunshine,

105. I've been here all night proofing. That belongs to... Okay.

106. Where's my confirmation?

107. Your what?

108. The fact that you don't know already concerns me.

109. Oh, you mean the patent thing?

110. The patent thing is the only piece of paper

111. that's holding up our deal from yesterday. Where is it?

112. On my desk.

113. Well, if it's not on mine by the time I get back,

114. I'm going to feed you to Louis.

115. No problem.

116. Please tell me that you filed that.

117. Patent? No, not yet.

118. I gave it to you yesterday.

119. The same time I gave you my Bainbridge briefs,

120. which you haven't finished.

121. I was here all night and I barely got through half.

122. And I was on hold for almost 11 minutes

123. before I gave up on your patent. So what's your point?

124. Look. I swear I will finish those filings.

125. But you have to give me this patent confirmation before Harvey gets back.

126. Sorry, Golden Boy. A deal's a deal.

127. What do you think you're doing?

128. Uh, I'm proofing briefs. Why? Is there a problem?

129. Yeah, there is. That's Gregory's responsibility.

130. Why are you handling it?

131. Oh, I volunteered. (CLEARS THROAT)

132. He didn't pawn it off on you?

133. No. No. I mean, he didn't even want me to do it,

134. but I... You know, I had some extra time, so I insisted.

135. Congratulations.

136. You've shown loyalty to your fellow associates.

137. I know Gregory tricked you into doing his work.

138. I wanted to see how you'd react when pressed about it.

139. You held up. I respect that.

140. Thanks?

141. You see, but I don't understand something, though.

142. If you didn't know how to file a patent,

143. then why didn't you just run to Harvey?

144. (SCOFFS) He was busy.

145. But you see, Mike, that's why you come to see me.

146. Look, Mike, I know I can come across a bit

147. prickly.

148. But we're a team here.

149. That means I'm here to help.

150. Okay. All right.

151. So, can you help me now?

152. I already have.

153. All right. Thank you, Louis.

154. Donna. Blue is your color. Is Harvey back?

155. (CHUCKLES) No.

156. Can I put this on his desk?

157. Yes.

158. Will you tell him I put it there hours ago?

159. What time you want me to say?

160. 11:00 a.m.?

161. Absolutely.

162. And then maybe I can use my access to his bank accounts

163. to buy myself a house in the Hamptons.

164. - 12:15? - No.

165. You wanted to see me?

166. Sit down.

167. I looked through your work on the Bainbridge briefs.

168. Spectacular.

169. You caught the discrepancies between

170. "listed assets" and "potential assets."

171. That had a huge impact, Mike.

172. Yeah. I know. Millions. But anyone would have caught that, right?

173. Um, out of the 50 associates that are under my purview,

174. not one of them would have caught that.

175. You just have this eye for detail, Mike.

176. I mean, no wonder why Harvey is so crazy about you.

177. It's amazing. I mean, I really, really, seriously appreciate that.

178. Hey, thank you, Louis. That...

179. That's nice.

180. You know that I pick

181. a pony out of the herd every year, don't you?

182. - A pony? - Oh, yeah.

183. Someone who shows potential.

184. Stamp my own little brand on him.

185. Mmm.

186. Are you that pony, Mike?

187. I work for Harvey.

188. As you should.

189. Good.

190. Well, listen, I have some work to get to.

191. So, maybe we can, uh, meet for lunch

192. tomorrow at the club, say 1:00 p.m.?

193. Uh, you know, tomorrow...

194. I know I just posed that as a question,

195. but I really didn't mean it that way.

196. Hey. What's up?

197. I just heard from Wyatt. He got a response from the patent office.

198. And?

199. It's been denied.

200. What?

201. Evidently, there was a similar claim.

202. Wait. What do you mean? Somebody beat us to it?

203. No, someone beat you to it.

204. They filed less than 24 hours ago,

205. which means you filed a day later than you said you would.

206. I tried to tell you that I didn't know how to do that.

207. And I told you to figure it out.

208. And I did and it got filed.

209. After you lied and said you'd already followed through.

210. Okay. What's going to happen now?

211. I suggest you get on the phone, call the patent office,

212. and find out who beat us to it.

213. Then you're going to have Donna find any judge who will listen

214. so we can get an injunction

215. and stop whoever it is from launching their product first.

216. Okay. Got it.

217. Now I've got to call Wyatt and calm him down.

218. You think that's going to be a walk in the park?

219. Hey. Harvey.

220. Did you tell him it was me?

221. Why would I do that? I'm responsible for you. It was me.

222. They signed the paperwork, Wyatt. They can't pull out.

223. The patent dispute is not an issue. Okay?

224. No, they cut the check. End of story.

225. I'm at court right now. Let me call you back.

226. So, it's Velocity Data Solutions.

227. Did you serve them with notice of the hearing?

228. They're a billion dollar company.

229. The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

230. Did you not see the sign outside?

231. Just putting it away, Your Honor.

232. It should already be in your pocket.

233. But you were running late, so perhaps that's why it wasn't.

234. Let the record show that Counsel is fined $1,000

235. for failing to follow the posted rules of the court.

236. - Your Honor, I didn't mean to... - And for mouthing off.

237. Mouthing off?

238. Another outburst like that, and you will be escorted out.

239. Wow.

240. Mr. Salinger.

241. Your Honor, this is a waste of your time.

242. The U.S. Patent Office is the only judicial body

243. that should be handling this dispute.

244. Velocity Data Solutions requests dismissal.

245. Your Honor. If I may.

246. - This injunction request is... - Counsels, approach.

247. That's the exhibit filing?

248. Why wasn't I given a courtesy copy?

249. Given the expedited nature of this hearing, I assumed...

250. Hand it to me. Hand it to me?

251. And I would have assumed that a lawyer appearing before a judge

252. would come on time, with his mouth shut,

253. and prepared with a courtesy brief.

254. My apologies.

255. Request denied.

256. Court adjourned for the morning.

257. Better luck next time, Harvey.

258. From now on, I want him when I go against you.

259. Wait here.

260. - Your Honor? I have... - Send him in.

261. Counselor?

262. You asked to see me. You must have something to say.

263. Excluding friends, associates, and the clients that I represent,

264. there are very few people that I'm on a first-name basis with.

265. And I've never had anyone, let alone a judge I've never met,

266. address me as Harvey in open court.

267. But if you're going to screw me,

268. I guess it's only fair that you call me by name.

269. I could have you brought up on review for talking to me like that.

270. Then we can get it all on record.

271. Get what?

272. Whatever it is that you seem to have against me for no apparent reason.

273. I have a solid argument for any reasonable judge to grant my injunction.

274. So solid, it begs the question,

275. why do you have it in for me?

276. And I don't even know your first name.

277. Really? My wife never mentioned it?

278. Your wife?

279. The woman you had an affair with last month?

280. Hey, wait. What happened in there?

281. Donna. The address for that fundraiser at the gallery last month?

282. I need you to text it to me and clear my afternoon.

283. Hey. Where are we going?

284. You're going back to the office

285. to file an interference claim with the Patent Office.

286. Okay. Wait. What's that?

287. It's how they determine who wins these situations.

288. It's not always who filed first, so we have a chance.

289. So why didn't we do that in the first place?

290. Because it takes longer and I wanted to head Velocity off at the pass.

291. Hey, where are you going?

292. To iron out a wrinkle.

293. If you're really interested, come back tomorrow around 1:00.

294. The afternoon light really makes this canvas come alive.

295. Pardon me. I was wondering,

296. would I get a discount for being the guy you cheated on your husband with?

297. Can you excuse me for a second?

298. What are you doing here?

299. I had a hearing in front of the judge this morning.

300. It didn't go very well. Why did you lie to him?

301. I'm sorry.

302. I mean, I recall you being tipsy that night,

303. but I'm finding it hard to believe that your memory is so cloudy,

304. you forgot I sent you home in a cab.

305. After humiliating me.

306. Well, I was a perfect gentleman.

307. Yes, exactly.

308. I fall all over myself making a pass,

309. and you do the right thing and send me home.

310. Okay. I'm sorry you felt humiliated.

311. But I told you I don't sleep with married women.

312. Right. The moral code.

313. No. It's too big of a pain in the ass.

314. As evidenced by my experience in court this morning.

315. What do you want from me, Harvey?

316. I need you to tell him the truth.

317. - I can't. - Yes, you can.

318. Why didn't you just tell him?

319. He's never going to believe me.

320. And what makes you think he'll believe me?

321. Because he'd want to.

322. Our whole marriage, Donald's only ever cared about one thing.

323. His sterling reputation.

324. Never overturned.

325. I was... When he found out you and I had...

326. He changed.

327. Looked at me for the first time again. Like I mattered.

328. I'm sorry. I can't tell him.

329. No, this is a request from the applicant for...

330. Yes, but I have up to a year before you...

331. Hello? No, I can't hold.

332. You ready?

333. I can't go to the club. I have to do this for Harvey.

334. Yes, the person before you said that I had to file the blue form.

335. No, no, no, no, no, no.

336. We have a court reserved in 30 minutes. We have to go now.

337. Yes, I'm trying to file the oral hearing.

338. But what you people keep doing is transferring. Hello?

339. Hello?

340. You work for me, too.

341. And that means when Harvey is not here,

342. you've got to listen to what I say, Mike.

343. Louis, this claim needs to be filed today. Harvey's orders.

344. In that case... (SNAPS FINGERS) Gregory?

345. I'm on your side, remember? Watch this.

346. - Yes. - Hi.

347. Patent interference claim? Can you have it filed before we get back?

348. Cool? Thanks. Let's go.

349. Just with a... (SNAPS FINGERS)

350. Who's winning?

351. You need to warm up?

352. No, I'm good.

353. You serve first. Come on. Show me what you've got.

354. Fifteen-love.

355. All right. You want to play like that?

356. Let's do this thing. Come on.

357. Oh!

358. Wait. Wait.

359. Hey, Tom.

360. Game. Hey, Tom.

361. I mean, I've seen your pro shot, man. You have really improved.

362. I'm not kidding. You know, maybe you can play now.

363. Me and my associate were just starting up.

364. How about you two against me? I'll just play...

365. Tom, seriously. I'll even... I'll spot you three sets.

366. All right. I'll see you later, then.

367. Isn't that, uh...

368. That's Tom Keller.

369. Yeah. The Premiere Fantasy Sports guy, right? That's him.

370. Yeah, I play that every year.

371. Yeah, you and five million other fantasy footballers.

372. I mean, the guy generates 200 million per annum, right?

373. And he still uses his fraternity brother as a general counsel.

374. I mean, someone with that many assets just makes me sick.

375. Okay, so, is it my serve?

376. Let's hit the showers.

377. But we...

378. - Sorry, sir, but... - No introductions necessary.

379. We're on a first-name basis.

380. I brought you a present. Yours to keep.

381. After you sign my injunction.

382. - A pen? - It's custom.

383. French. Le Bic.

384. My earlier ruling wasn't clear enough for you?

385. Crystal. But I didn't want you to suffer for it.

386. You see, if you don't sign my injunction,

387. there's going to be a lawsuit.

388. And when the next judge sees all the facts,

389. he's going to overturn your ruling.

390. You may be right.

391. But by then, your clients will have dumped you.

392. You may be right,

393. but that sterling reputation that you value so highly?

394. Down the tubes.

395. Which would matter, except for one thing.

396. I've decided to leave the bench.

397. Try my hand at litigation.

398. And I'm your last case.

399. Divorce will do that. Make you want to change your life.

400. You filed for divorce?

401. Soon enough.

402. Perhaps we could discuss a little quid pro quo before I do.

403. I'm listening.

404. You sign a document that says you slept with my wife.

405. I'll give you your injunction.

406. And why would you want me to do that?

407. To prevent her from taking me for half of everything I own.

408. So, what you're saying is, you'd like to blackmail me.

409. I'm saying we could both benefit.

410. And since you're the one who screwed me, I'd say you owe me one.

411. Harvey Specter.

412. What are you hiding from me, Harvey?

413. Wyatt. Do you remember six months ago when you got all nervous

414. and thought everything was falling apart?

415. Yeah. Yeah, but this is a little different.

416. That's what you said then. And a year ago, and 18 months ago.

417. And we agreed that when this happens again,

418. I'll remind you of those times

419. - and I'll hang up. - Okay. Harvey...

420. Trust me, it's for your own good.

421. Harvey, please don't hang up...

422. Hey, Tom. You just missed a great game. We were, uh...

423. We were just... I was beating him.

424. You know, 10 years ago, before these dot-com millionaires,

425. there were men of substance in this club.

426. You know, men who understood how business gets done.

427. Well, maybe he's just not interested in talking business

428. while he's in a towel.

429. Mike, he's not interested because he doesn't think I'm cool.

430. And he's a pot-head who thinks that

431. anybody who doesn't smoke is a nerd. I mean...

432. So I treat my body like a temple.

433. Does that make me uncool? I don't think so.

434. No.

435. But on the other hand, you kind of seem his type.

436. - Why do you say that? - Because you're young.

437. And you think of yourself as hip.

438. Whatever, I guess.

439. You know, I'm sure you enjoy the occasional bong hit.

440. No. No. I don't smoke.

441. (LAUGHING) I mean, that's just a little strange.

442. Why is it strange?

443. I mean, because, you know, the drug test that you took...

444. Well, that I made you take, would indicate otherwise.

445. You're not going to dispute it now, are you?

446. Relax, Mike.

447. Relax. I'm not offended.

448. I'm not even surprised.

449. Matter of fact, in this instance,

450. we could use this to our advantage.

451. What are you talking about, Louis?

452. I'm just saying. You know, back in the day,

453. to woo a client, you would take them to dinner.

454. You would buy them a drink. But that's not going to work with Tom.

455. Not in a million years. Not with me, anyway.

456. But if someone of his generation

457. who shares the same proclivities...

458. Are you saying you want me to smoke pot with him?

459. I'm saying you can help me land him as a client.

460. That's the only reason I'm here, isn't it?

461. No, Mike. Stop. Just stop, okay?

462. I assure you, no one was more disappointed than me

463. when I found out the results of your drug test. Okay?

464. But then, I had to say to myself, "Louis, do what you do.

465. "Make lemonade."

466. And if I don't?

467. You're a smart kid.

468. And I really want to see you succeed.

469. Ball's in your court.

470. Hey, Tom. I was just going to tell you I wanted...

471. Dude creeps me out, man.

472. And he never wears a towel. Ever.

473. Yeah, tell me about it.

474. Hey, uh, I know you must hear this all the time, but...

475. Totally addicted to your website, man.

476. All right. Who placed sixth in passing yards last year?

477. (CHUCKLES) Carson Palmer.

478. 3970. How many sacks did James Hall have?

479. Eleven?

480. Uh-uh. Ten-and-a-half.

481. Yeah, I know. I rounded up.

482. Well, your league doesn't, or I'd have come in better than 20th.

483. You're Ross' Raiders. Right?

484. Yeah. Mike Ross.

485. Tom Keller.

486. Yeah. Good to meet you.

487. Congratulations, man. You've got a nice little team there.

488. No, if Roethlisberger hadn't let you down,

489. you would have been top 10 for sure. I'm telling you.

490. Yeah, well, that's what happens

491. when you get high before the draft, right?

492. You get high?

493. How's it going with Harvey?

494. Me?

495. Uh, it's...

496. You know, it's good. I'm learning.

497. A lot of learning.

498. Bye.

499. What's black and white and going to cost you dearly?

500. Whoa.

501. Took me all morning to file this, Golden Boy.

502. You owe me. And I won't forget it.

503. Oh, God. Thank you.

504. Wyatt, it doesn't happen immediately. The paperwork is coming.

505. Don't worry about it, okay?

506. Boom. There you go. Look at that.

507. Wyatt, let me call you back. Okay?

508. Five minutes. Bye.

509. What's this?

510. What is this? That's confirmation of the interference claim,

511. which I proofed. Up top.

512. What, you think you're working in a fraternity?

513. You don't barge in here when I'm on the phone.

514. And why are you so flush?

515. Why am I so what?

516. Your face is red. Looks like you've been in the sun.

517. Um, yeah, I, uh...

518. This morning, Louis, uh, took me to the tennis club.

519. He didn't give you the speech about the ponies, did he?

520. Oh, my God.

521. How he likes to cut one from the herd?

522. (LAUGHS) The ponies.

523. Was he wearing the headband?

524. You know about the headband? With the...

525. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me with that guy?

526. Hey. If you guys were playing tennis all morning,

527. how did you have time to file this?

528. Uh...

529. He... It was... This morning, actually,

530. I was on the phone with them,

531. uh, and Louis helped me.

532. Look at me.

533. And he did this snapping thing, and Gregory...

534. Look at me.

535. You're high.

536. Get out.

537. Harvey, you don't understand. Louis...

538. Out.

539. Donna?

540. Get Wyatt back on the line?

541. What are you doing in here?

542. It's the ladies' room.

543. I'm sorry.

544. Can you do me a favor? Can we, um...

545. Can we just keep this our little secret?

546. Why are your eyes so red?

547. (SIGHS) I need some air.

548. - You took Mike on a field trip today? - Yeah.

549. Aside from subjecting him to you in a towel, what happened?

550. I beat him in straight sets, if that's what you're getting at.

551. Don't play dumb, Louis. Tell me what you did to him.

552. What are you, jealous? Harvey, come on.

553. The kid is starving for a mentor.

554. Someone to give him some advice.

555. So, maybe if you just took the time...

556. I'm telling you right now. You try to move in on him...

557. Harvey, where is this coming from?

558. Harvey, I've got the outside council for Velocity on the line.

559. Put him through.

560. What happened after you smoked with that guy?

561. I just got paranoid. I felt bad for lying to him. And I...

562. I told him that Louis put me up to it

563. and that he couldn't trust him.

564. So what did he say?

565. He said that Louis gave him the creeps, anyway.

566. And he was never going to hire him.

567. Okay. You have to tell Harvey.

568. I tried. He wasn't listening.

569. So then go home and tell him tomorrow.

570. God, you should have seen his face. We had a deal.

571. What deal?

572. Thanks for hearing me out.

573. No, what are you talking about? What deal?

574. It's nothing. I just promised that I wouldn't

575. do anything stupid and let him down. And I did.

576. Wait. You let him down?

577. No. The way I see it, he let you down.

578. What?

579. He's got to know what Louis is capable of.

580. So if he didn't listen to what happened,

581. it's 'cause he didn't want to.

582. Mike, you need to tell him.

583. I don't know how often you've come across Harvey,

584. but he's not exactly the listening type.

585. Right. But he's also the first person that would tell you

586. never to take no for an answer. From anyone.

587. Harvey, how are you doing this fine day?

588. I'm ready to hear your settlement offer, George.

589. Cutting to the chase. I like that.

590. What's the number?

591. Ten million.

592. That's half what we spent developing the prototype.

593. And 10 million more than you'll get, the way the wind is blowing.

594. Yeah, well, winds can change.

595. And you and I both know the injunction will get overturned on appeal.

596. I don't know anything of the kind.

597. Then why are you calling with an offer at all?

598. Fifteen. That's as high as I'll go.

599. Okay, I'm hanging up now.

600. Twenty million. That's it.

601. The offer's good for 24 hours.

602. And I'm sure I don't have to remind you

603. that you're legally required to present this to your client.

604. Is he free?

605. Not for you.

606. How much did he tell you?

607. He didn't have to tell me. I read it on his face.

608. - You hurt him. - Maybe he did the same to me.

609. Get in there.

610. And be careful.

611. Harvey.

612. We talked about this, right? Barging into my office?

613. I'm not leaving until you hear me out.

614. - You want to bet? - You owe it to me.

615. - Oh, I owe it to you. - Yeah.

616. Look, this is not my fault, all right? Louis made me do it.

617. Louis did. Right. He put a gun to your head,

618. made you smoke pot.

619. Yeah, he did. He pulled out the drug test,

620. which I failed, by the way.

621. And then he told me that if I didn't smoke pot

622. to help him land this new client, that he'd fire me.

623. It's not so different than asking someone out for drinks, is it?

624. You and I had a deal.

625. I'm sorry.

626. And if next time Louis asks you to do something

627. that I told you not to do, what then?

628. I told you that I did not have a choice.

629. - Oh, because he had a gun to your head. - Yes.

630. And what are your choices if someone puts a gun to your head?

631. What are you talking about? You do what they say, or they shoot you.

632. Wrong. You take the gun.

633. Or you pull out a bigger one.

634. Or you call their bluff.

635. Or you do any one of 146 other things.

636. If you can't think for yourself,

637. maybe you aren't cut out for this.

638. No. I can and I am. Look, I did what I had to do.

639. I made the best out of a bad situation.

640. Which is what I am good at.

641. Which is what you hired me to do in the first place.

642. Yeah, I hired you, and I expect your loyalty.

643. So if Louis asks you to do something like that,

644. you come to me first.

645. Oh, right. Like when I came to you

646. and, uh, you told me that I couldn't sit at the adult table.

647. Right, I remember that. Or...

648. Or when you told me to go file the patent by myself. Like that?

649. Excuse me?

650. You know what? Maybe it's time you showed me some loyalty.

651. Do you know how long it was before I got to sit at the adult table?

652. It was when I brought in my first client.

653. Which I don't recall you having done.

654. And when you screwed up that patent and Wyatt went apeshit on me,

655. I didn't put that on you. I took it on myself.

656. Because that's my job.

657. And it's your job to do what I say when I say it.

658. So if you're talking about loyalty,

659. you better goddamn earn it.

660. You're right.

661. I said I'm sorry, and I meant it.

662. Harvey.

663. I want you to trust... I need you to trust me. Okay?

664. And I will work as hard as I can,

665. as long as it takes, to make that happen.

666. (CHUCKLES) I mean, you... You don't even have to pay me, all right?

667. I'll work for free.

668. For free.

669. Well, I meant... Not forever.

670. Just, like, as a probationary thing. But...

671. Donna, tell Wyatt I'm on my way over.

672. You never have to press a button on that thing?

673. Got it. And Jessica wants to see Mike in her office right now.

674. Louis told me what you did at the club.

675. (SIGHS) I bet he didn't tell you the whole story.

676. He told me enough to impress me.

677. New business is hard.

678. People will promise you the world.

679. But until they sign that engagement letter,

680. it means nothing.

681. Now, I don't know what you told Tom Keller,

682. but bringing a client in at your age,

683. that reminds me of Harvey.

684. Jessica. Before we get started,

685. there's something in the retainer that Tom pointed out.

686. It's not a big deal, really. We were just...

687. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

688. Like I said, we're here to make you happy.

689. Right?

690. I thought you wanted nothing to do with him.

691. I didn't. But then, I thought about it.

692. He might not be a very good person,

693. but a little deviousness is the sort of thing you look for in a good lawyer.

694. I mean, the other guy I was with, he was too nice.

695. We were buddies. We went to school together.

696. It's time I grew up. You know, got a real shark.

697. Well, I had no intention of being that way to get your business.

698. That's exactly why I insisted that you be my point man.

699. I want someone being devious for me, not to me.

700. What?

701. It's just... Louis never would have told Jessica that I existed,

702. let alone that I helped him,

703. if you hadn't done that.

704. Hey, the way I see it,

705. the three of us stick together, we'll make a pretty good team.

706. You know, I've got a better idea.

707. $20 million?

708. They claim it's their final offer.

709. That's what it cost to make the prototype.

710. Not to mention my entire savings and two years of my life.

711. Wyatt.

712. They know we're stalled on our injunction.

713. Which means, to them, they're giving you a fair price

714. as an insurance policy against the risk

715. of possibly losing the interference claim.

716. I don't care what it is to them.

717. It's not fair.

718. Well, fair or not, it's their final offer.

719. You think I should take it?

720. I think you should tell them to shove it up their ass.

721. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm terribly sorry, but we have a problem.

722. What problem?

723. We came down here because you led us to believe

724. that your client was ready to accept our settlement agreement.

725. And I thought he would.

726. Look, I took him the offer.

727. I presented it to him and recommended that he take it.

728. In fact, I urged him to take it.

729. You know what he told me to do?

730. He told me to tell you to shove it up your ass.

731. Now, I know you didn't have me come all the way down here

732. just to tell me that.

733. You're right. That's not all Wyatt said.

734. He said, rather than spending years fighting this out in court,

735. in 48 hours, he's going to put this online.

736. It's a little rough, but you get the idea.

737. What are you showing us? Is this a website?

738. Available at the Suntech domain name.

739. All the design plans and calculations have been uploaded.

740. - Is this online now? - It can be.

741. Which means the whole world will have access to my designs.

742. There will be 10 knock-offs of that phone

743. before you can catch a cab back to your headquarters.

744. We could file an injunction.

745. Not before tomorrow.

746. And once that technology is out there,

747. good luck putting that genie back in the bottle.

748. Well, then we'll sue.

749. But my client won't have any money.

750. What he will have is credit for the initial design.

751. Which, after he incorporates under a different name,

752. will be worth a hell of a lot more money

753. than the $20 million that you're offering.

754. And you're saying that this was all your client's idea.

755. Yes.

756. That's what I'm saying.

757. That's good. I think so, too.

758. But, uh... I'll see you tomorrow.

759. Good night.

760. Thought you weren't coming.

761. I had to settle a case first.

762. You have the paperwork we talked about?

763. What is this?

764. It's a copy of the judicial conduct codes.

765. A friend of mine works at the Attorney General's office.

766. He gave it to me. We had a nice chat about you.

767. I told him if you were willing to blackmail someone once,

768. chances are, you've done it before.

769. He's very anxious to meet you.

770. You think you can get away with screwing my wife

771. and then have me investigated?

772. You actually have it the wrong way around.

773. The only thing I've done so far is have you investigated.

774. What?

775. I never actually slept with Lauren.

776. But I knew you'd never believe me,

777. so I kept my mouth shut.

778. But now that she's getting a divorce,

779. my policy no longer applies.

780. And, of course, she's free to date whoever she pleases.

781. And she pleases me.

782. Enjoy your evening, Donald.

783. I always heard about this place.

784. Which room is Hoffa buried in?

785. (LAUGHS) Not sure.

786. But the Ark of the Covenant is just down the hall on the left.

787. When you're finished down here, I'd like you to come upstairs

788. and start putting together a settlement memorandum.

789. They went for it?

790. Thanks to your idea.

791. Well, I mean, it wasn't really my idea.

792. They're settling for 400 million.

793. Okay. Yeah, that was my idea.

794. So, does this mean I get to keep my job?

795. - I want to talk to you about that. - Before you do, Harvey...

796. Do we have to have a conversation about how you keep interrupting me?

797. Ah.

798. Look. Sometimes, when someone pulls a gun on you,

799. instead of bullets, it's filled with blanks.

800. What's this?

801. It's a copy of your drug test results.

802. But this says I passed.

803. You did.

804. Louis showed me a fake?

805. I'm going to go have a talk with him.

806. You know what? Why don't you let me do it?

807. You think you're ready for the adult table?

808. Well, didn't you hear? I just landed my first client.

809. Why do you think I'm showing you this now

810. and not going straight to Louis?

811. Go easy on him.

812. No.

813. Good boy.

814. You lied.

815. That other drug test you showed me was a fake.

816. How did you figure that out?

817. Someone once told me I have an eye for detail

818. when it comes to important paperwork.

819. Well, maybe you're not as good as you think you are,

820. or you would have caught it sooner.

821. Okay. So this was all some sort of test? You blackmail me. You jeopardize my job.

822. Mike, stop.

823. Stop. We all came out ahead, didn't we?

824. That new client is going to bring us millions.

825. Jessica knows your name now. It's a win-win.

826. You're right. She does know my name.

827. Which is why she'll listen when I tell her exactly what happened.

828. Okay. But before you do that,

829. it is that time again, isn't it?

830. What time?

831. "Pee in a cup" time.

832. And now, you know I'd fail.

833. Of course, you can run to Mommy,

834. tell her your story, and take your chances.

835. Or you can take the test

836. and trust that I'll keep it to myself as my way of thanking you.

837. Oh, you know, I actually did some reading

838. of the Pearson Hardman drug policy, as well.

839. It turns out that you have to wait three months

840. before you can request another drug test.

841. It's a little detail you might have missed. So, drink up.

842. Oh, and, uh, I spoke to Tom Keller.

843. He says that he feels he'd be best served

844. with the combination of me and Harvey.

845. I think you'll get that call in the morning.