Strangers with Candy 3x9

Directed by Peter Lauer

Deborah Rush as Sara Blank • Orlando Pabotoy as Orlando Pinatubo • Maria Christina Thayer as Tammi Littlenut • Dolores Duffy as Iris Puffybush • Ross Bickell as Mr. Tidbits

A new student comes to Flatpoint High, who turns out to be a bully who everyone is afraid of. When Jerri stops a fight with the bully and her friend Tammy, the bully schedules a fight for after school. Everyone keeps telling Jerri that she shouldn't fight and find peace, but Jerri feels she should live by the street code and fight. Geoffry gets a bully of his own when a homosexual hater substitute confronts him.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. POL POT—

2. THE CAMBODIAN PEOPLE...

3. OR WAS HE?

4. THERE'S SOME WHO SAY THAT

5. "POL POT WAS NOTHING BUT A BULLY-

6. A MINDLESS KILLING MACHINE."

7. THE QUESTION:

8. AT FAULT,

9. THEMSELVES TO BE BULLIED?

10. NOW, CASE IN POINT:

11. CHARLES MANSON.

12. FROM THE 60s...

13. OR WAS HE?

14. MY TAKE ON MANSON'S A LITTLE DARKER.

15. WHO ARE YOU,

16. AND WHY ARE YOU INTERRUPTING MY CLASS?

17. I'M EDIE HARLEY.

18. I'M A TRANSFER STUDENT.

19. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SEAT,

20. IN THE BACK.

21. NOW, FOR SOME REASON

22. FREE RIDE FROM THE PRESS...

23.

24. BUT THIS MY SEAT.

25. NOT ANYMORE.

26. HO-DE-DO, THERE, MISSY.

27. YOU'RE NEW HERE,

28. DOWN FOR YA'.

29. SHIP AROUND HERE,

30. THAT'S WHY THE STUDENTS CALL ME... "THE HAMMER".

31. HA, HA. WE DON'T CALL YOU THAT.

32. SHUT UP.

33. NOW, I HAVE A VERY STRICT SEATING POLICY.

34. THIS IS ORLANDO'S SEAT.

35. SO WHY DON'T YOU MOVE YOUR AMPLE FRAME

36. TO AN OPEN SEAT?

37. I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.

38. THAT'S MINE.

39. YOU SAID, "FIND AN OPEN SEAT,"

40. SO I DID.

41. I FOUND THIS ONE.

42. OKIE-DOKE!

43. HELLO! I'M JERRI BLANK.

44. 32 YEARS AGO I DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL

45. FROM HOME.

46. OH, I MADE A LOT OF FRIENDS...

47. DID A LOT OF TIME.

48. I WAS A BOOZER...

49. A USER...

50. AND A LOSER.

51. I STOLE THE T.V.--

52. DID SOME MORE TIME.

53. BUT NOW I'M BACK IN SCHOOL!

54. MAY HAVE CHANGED

55. JUST THE SAME.

56. Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL

57. OH, I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS UNOCCUPIED.

58.

59. F.Y.I INFORMATION,

60. THERE'S A LATCH...

61. WELL, I'LL LET YOU ALONE NOW.

62. PULL THOSE UP.

63. TO EMBARRASS ME?

64. NO!

65. I THINK YOU ARE-

66. AND THAT AGITATES ME—

67. IN VIOLENCE.

68.

69. CAN'T WE TALK THIS OVER?

70. SURE, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH MY FIST?

71. NUMBER ONE...

72. CHUBBY CHIMP CLAWS

73. OFF OF THE COPPER TOP.

74. A BIG MISTAKE.

75. OH, DID I.

76. HMM.

77. IT'S GO TIME, FATTIE.

78. HUH?

79. GO ON... MAKE YOUR MOVE.

80. WHAT?

81. TO HEAR YOUR SCREAMS.

82. HUH, PUNK? HUH? HUH?

83. COME ON.

84. COME ON, COME ON.

85.

86. MR. JELLINECK!

87. LADIES.

88. YOU'RE LUCKY "JOHNNY LAW'S" HERE TO STOP THE FIGHT.

89. FIGHT?

90. THERE'S A FIGHT?

91. LISTEN, GIRLS—

92. ANYTHING

93. EXCEPT CONFLICT.

94. I'M A PACIFIST.

95. I PASS...

96. A FIST, GET IT?

97.

98. OKAY, GET TO CLASS, NOW.

99. WE'LL SETTLE THIS AFTER SCHOOL.

100. YEAH, YOU BET.

101.

102. THE MESSAGE.

103. OKAY, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME NOW, I HAVE TO, UH...

104. MAIL A PACKAGE.

105. THANKS FOR STICKIN' UP FOR ME, JERRI.

106. SURE THING, NUTTAGE, I GOTTA MIND MY BITCHES.

107. NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'M GONNA GO, UH...

108. ON MY FEAR.

109.

110. LOOK, JERRI, I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD FIGHT AFTER SCHOOL.

111. YOUR FRIEND, JERRI-

112. THAT'S SOUND WISDOM.

113. IT'S TOO LATE.

114. I'VE BEEN CALLED OUT.

115. OF THE STREET.

116.

117. AHHH!

118. LISTEN UP!

119. FROM THE CLEANERS

120. SCRUB THE LATEST FECAL

121. THE BELOVED MULE.

122. IF A STUDENT, SO MUCH AS

123. HONORABLE JACKASS,

124. MASSIVE DOSE OF SUSPENSION.

125. ALSO, MR. NOBLET IS ON SUDDEN SICK LEAVE,

126. HEALTHY RUNNING OUT OF THE SCHOOL.

127. IN ANY EVENT, HE PREVIOUSLY FORESAW

128. BY PREPARING A TAPE,

129. UNTIL YOUR SUBSTITUTE ARRIVES.

130. All right people, let's get started.

131. Today's lesson will be on the Minoan Civilization of Crete.

132. Turn your textbooks to page...

133. PSST! TAMMI. Jerri, what's that?

134. NOTHING.

135. Bring it up here.

136. C'mon, let's have it!

137. Just because I'm not here

138. Doesn't mean there are no rules to—

139.

140. Nice try, Jerri.

141. Now put the note on the desk and go back to your seat.

142. FAT ASS.

143. All right, now if there are no more interruptions,

144. I'd like you all to turn to page 42.

145. There we will see a scantily-clad Cretian boy—

146. HI, I'M MR. TIDBITS.

147. I'LL BE FILLING IN FOR MR...

148. NOBLAY.

149. LEARNING ABOUT ANCIENT GREECE.

150. NOW, DOES THE FACT THAT THE ATHENIANS

151. IN THE 5th CENTURY B.C. CONDONED MAN-ON-BOY LOVE

152. OLYMPIAN HEIGHTS

153. CIVILIZATION ACHIEVED?

154. YES. SO, THERE IS NO REASON TO STUDY THE GREEKS.

155. OKAY, NOW, THE TURKS.

156. YOU'D THINK YOU'D BE ON SAFE GROUND

157. MAD MUSLIM BASTARDS,

158. BUT GO IN ANY BATHHOUSE, AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING,

159. TOWARDS THE WALL...

160. JERRI.

161. THIS FIGHT.

162. OH TAMMILA, YOU'RE SO NAIVE.

163. YOU MESS WITH THE SKUNK, YOU GET THE STINK.

164. BESIDES, SHE'S GOT IT COMING,

165. FOR PICKIN' ON SUCH A GENTLE

166. HARMLESS CREATURE, OH.

167. HEY, AFTER THIS, YOU WANNA HEAD OVER TO THE ZOO

168. AT THE PANDAS?

169. IT REALLY TORTURES 'EM.

170. THEY JUST HAD BABIES.

171. SHH, YOURSELF.

172. WERE A BUNCH OF FAIRIES

173. WE WON'T BOTHER WITH THEM.

174. FAIRIES.

175. IN THE LESSON PLAN,

176. SO, LET'S HEAD OUT EARLY.

177. REMIND YOU,

178. AFTER SCHOOL, WE FIGHT.

179. OH YEAH, I'M SHAKIN'.

180.

181. OH YEAH, RIGHT!

182. THERE'S A LOT MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

183. DON'T TOUCH!

184. DON'T TOUCH!

185.

186. WELL, TIDBITS, I JUST WANTED TO INFORMALLY GIVE YOU

187. TO MY SCHOOL.

188. THANK YOU, I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE.

189. HEY YOU FELLOW, ACADEMIACS.

190. GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS...

191. BETTER RUN—

192. JELLINECK'S ON THE PROWL.

193. UH OH!

194. NEW GUY!

195. I'M GEOFFREY JELLINECK.

196. DON'T LET THE BOY'S LOOKS FOOL YOU,

197. I AM A TEACHER.

198. TOMORROW'S POT LUCK FRIDAY.

199. HERE'S HOW IT WORKS:

200. FOR THE FOOD

201. WE'LL BE BRINGING— TOMORROW.

202. STILL NEED A CREAMY VEGETABLE, OR A LEAFY DESSERT.

203. YOU DOWN FOR?

204. ARE YOU A FAGGOT?

205.

206. I'M SORRY. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

207. WOMANLY TO ME,

208. YOU'RE A FAGGOT.

209. WELL?

210.

211. GOOD NATURED, RIBBING BY THE NEW GUY,

212. I LOVE IT! HILARIOUS!

213. THIS IS NO JOKE. I HATE QUEERS.

214.

215. HE'S TOPPED HIMSELF.

216. GOOD ONE!

217. MY TEACHERS SPAR.

218. HIGH JINKS!

219. FUNNY STUFF, TIDBITS.

220. HEY! LISTEN—

221. PRETTY BAD START IN THERE.

222. IT'S PROBABLY MY FAULT.

223. TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T WE HEAD OVER TO MY CLASS

224. I HAVE A BLOW TORCH, WE'LL FIRE UP SOME CREME BRULEES,

225. RAP SESSION,

226. WHOLE MISUNDERSTANDING.

227.

228. LISTEN SKIRT, I'M NOT INTO THAT SCENE.

229. LIFESTYLE OFFENSIVE.

230. IN A HOUSE OF LEARNING.

231. SO, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES.

232. ONE, DO THE RIGHT THING, AND RESIGN, TODAY,

233. OR PROVE TO ME YOU'RE A MAN BY FIGHTING ME.

234. I APPRECIATE YOUR OPINION

235. BUT I WON'T BE DOING EITHER.

236. I LOVE MY JOB HERE,

237. AND I'M A PRACTICING PACIFIST.

238. I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU AFTER SCHOOL

239. TO HEAR YOUR DECISION.

240.

241. TODAY, AS YOU CAN SEE,

242. WE'RE HAVING CLASS IN THE GYM.

243. IT'S IMPORTANT TO KEEP A TRIM FIGURE THROUGH EXERCISE,

244. STARVING YOURSELF,

245. AND LATER, PLASTIC SURGERY.

246. OKAY!

247. WHY DON'T YOU ALL, UH, WANDER AROUND

248. WITHOUT ANY SUPERVISION

249. AND UH, ACQUAINT YOURSELF

250. DANGEROUS EQUIPMENT.

251. HEY BLANK—

252. I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR THE SOUND OF YOUR SKULL

253. BANGIN' AGAINST MY KNUCKLES.

254.

255.

256. LOOK JERRI, I KNOW YOU'VE GOT THIS CODE,

257. BUT EDIE'S GONNA KILL YOU.

258. IF YOU CAN'T BACK OUT, AT LEAST TALK TO PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN.

259. HE'LL STOP THE FIGHT, AND YOU WON'T HURT YOUR REP.

260. SQUEAL TO THE FUZZ!

261. LOOK, MY PIMP SLAP MIGHT BE A LITTLE RUSTY,

262. BUT IT'S NOTHIN' A FEW HOURS IN THE WEIGHT ROOM WON'T FIX.

263. AH! I FEEL A MUSCLE THROBBING.

264. I THINK THAT'S A BLOOD CLOT, JERRI.

265. AH, THE OL' BENCH PRESS.

266. FROM THE PRISON YARD.

267. MMM! LONGEE TIME NO SEEUM.

268. HEY NUTTAGE, THROW ME A SPOT.

269. ALL RIGHT!

270. ON THIS BAD BOY.

271. YOU SURE THAT'S NOT TOO MUCH, JERRI?

272. TOO MUCH?

273. BACK IN THE PEN, I USED TO BE IN THIS LITTLE THING

274. "THE HEAVY METAL CLUB".

275. JUNGLE JUICE AND CIGARETTES.

276. WHITE SUPREMACISTS vs. THE RACISTS.

277. FOR BOTH TEAMS.

278. NOW, WHAT YOU WANNA DO WHEN YOU'RE PUMPIN' IRON

279. UNDERNEATH THE METAL BAR.

280. AND LET ER' FLY.

281.

282.

283. LITTLE HELP.

284. L-LITTLE HELP.

285. AH, AA! AHH! AH, OH.

286. WELL NURSE, I GUESS YOU'LL BE SENDIN' ME HOME.

287. OH JERRI, IF I SENT HOME EVERY STUDENT

288. AND A FEW FRACTURED VERTEBRAE,

289. WOULD BE FILLED

290. BUT HEALTHY KIDS.

291. NO, BUT I'M SICK! I WANNA GO HOME!

292. JERRI, WHEN INJURED STUDENTS LEAVE SCHOOL,

293. TURN INTO LAWSUITS,

294. CAN'T BENEFIT ANYBODY

295. WHO'VE BEEN INJURED.

296. THAT?

297. OKAY.

298. SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS?

299. TYPE OF VICIOUS HAMMER BLOWS

300. OWW! TO THE SKULL.

301. OKAY, SO I WILL SEND YOUR BILL IN THE MAIL.

302. OH NO, I'M FEVERISH.

303. TAKE MY TEMPERATURE!

304. NO WAY OUT. NO WAY OUT.

305. WHAT AM I GONNA DO, TAMMILA?

306. BACK DOWN, JERRI,

307. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.

308. LISTEN, I'LL CATCH UP WITH YA' LATER.

309. I JUST NEED TO THINK.

310.

311. IN A MOMENT.

312.

313. SO, SOCRATES WAS A HOMO?

314. I DIDN'T KNOW.

315. THAT'S FUNNY!

316. MIGHT BE ABLE

317. FOR YOU, TIDBITS.

318. I HAVE A FEELING YOU'RE GONNA BE AROUND HERE

319. FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.

320. JELLINECK, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

321. MAYBE HE'S HERE TO SAY, "GOODBYE."

322. WELL ACTUALLY, I WAS HOPING THAT WE COULD, UH,

323. IN PRIVATE.

324. IN PRIVATE,

325. YOU CAN SAY IN PUBLIC.

326. ALL RIGHT, GOOD.

327. WELL... I'M HAVING A BIT OF A—

328. WITH, UH,

329. ONE OF THE TEACHERS HERE,

330. ESCALATES,

331. I'D LIKE YOU TO MEDIATE A LITTLE JAM SESSION

332. THIS CONFLICT.

333. I CAN'T STOP CONFLICT BETWEEN TEACHERS

334. BETWEEN MY STUDENTS.

335. THE WAY NATURE INTENDED,

336. WITH A VICIOUS, BLOODY FIGHT!

337. I'LL SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL, HOMO.

338. AH HA HA, HE SAID IT AGAIN.

339. WHAT CLOWNERY!

340. OH! SWEET JESUS!

341. MY MULE!

342. NOT AGAIN!

343. BLANK, YOU DEFILED MY MULE.

344. THE HONORABLE JACKASS.

345. JERRI, HOW COULD YOU?

346. HAS IN MIND FOR PUNISHMENT,

347. I SUPPORT HIM 100%

348. AND I DON'T CARE IF THAT MEANS LOCKING YOU UP

349. AND BEATING YOU SENSELESS.

350. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND, PRINCIPAL?

351. SUSPENSION.

352. THE YEAR AT HOME WITH YOU.

353. TO MERCY...

354. DON'T LISTEN TO HER, KICK ME OUT OF SCHOOL.

355. BLANK, WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?

356. ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I DID TRY TO GET SUSPENDED,

357. BUT THAT'S BECAUSE THE NEW GIRL'S GONNA

358. AFTER SCHOOL.

359. TAKE A LOOK AT MY MULE-

360. CLEARLY THERE'S NOTHING LEFT IN YOU TO BEAT OUT.

361. I'LL TELL YOU THIS MUCH, BLANK,

362. WAS TO GET SUSPENDED,

363. IS TO STAY IN SCHOOL.

364. WHAT!

365. I AGREE, PRINCIPAL, THE BEST PUNISHMENT

366. AT NOT MY HOME.

367. THE NEW GIRL?

368. SKULL THUMPING BLOW

369. CAN DELIVER.

370. GET OUT!

371. UGGGHHH! UGH!

372. WELL, MRS. BLANK, I CAN SEE WE'RE BOTH PRETTY WOUND UP.

373. OVER TO THE BOYS' LOCKER ROOM

374. OURSELVES A SHOWER.

375. HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE.

376. ME TOO.

377. THAT'S THE SIMPLE BEAUTY OF IT.

378. SO WHAT DO YA' SAY? I DON'T THINK SO.

379. PERHAPS NEXT TIME. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

380. MAYBE YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND.

381. I CAN ASSURE YOU, I WON'T.

382. THAT'S AS GOOD AS A YES.

383.

384.

385.

386.

387. AH, HA HA, SQUIRREL.

388. ( bell ringing and clock gonging )

389. SEE YOU OUT THERE, JERRI.

390. DON'T BE AFRAID TO DRAW BLOOD, EARLY AND OFTEN.

391. HEY, JERRI!

392. LITTLE TROUBLE AFTER SCHOOL.

393. I HEARD ABOUT YOURS.

394. GONNA DO?

395. I'VE BEEN CALLED OUT.

396. I'M GONNA HAVE TO SHOW UP AND FIGHT.

397. YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHOW UP,

398. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT.

399. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

400. IT'S CALLED "PACIFISM", JERRI,

401. MY BATTLES...

402. BY NOT FIGHTING.

403. WELL, ISN'T THAT KIND OF, UH,

404. YOU KNOW, COWARDLY.

405. SURE, SOME HAVE CALLED ME A "COWARD",

406. CALLED ME A "PUSSY".

407. UNDERSTAND?

408. NOT REALLY.

409. TALK TO YOUR BULLY, JERRI.

410. UNDERSTAND HER.

411. SHE BECOMES WEAK HERSELF.

412. SO, IF EDIE AND I HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING,

413. SHE'LL BECOME WEAK.

414. YES.

415. HEY! I GOT SOMETHIN' FOR YOU.

416.

417.

418. OHHH.

419. IT'S YOUR GREATEST WEAPON.

420. NOW LET'S GO KICK SOME PEACE!

421. IT'S JERRI!

422.

423. JERRI! EDIE, EDIE, EDIE COME ON, JERRI.

424.

425. WELL PRINCESS, I GUESS IT'S TIME TO RUMBLE.

426. BEFORE WE GET STARTED, I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.

427. NOTHING YOU DO OR SAY

428. TO REACT,

429. IN ANY WAY.

430. COME ON! WOO!

431.

432.

433.

434.

435.

436. MY GOD. DEFEND YOURSELF.

437.

438.

439.

440. WOO! YEAH! COME ON!

441. AH!

442. HOLD IT!

443. HOLD IT!

444. I GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY!

445. EDIE, I WON'T FIGHT YOU

446. BECAUSE... I KNOW YOU.

447. I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE UNLOVED.

448. BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHIN', EDIE,

449. HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT

450. TO LOVE ME.

451. SO GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD,

452. YOUR FISTS-S-S,

453. TO KNOW THAT—

454. I LOVE YOU.

455. WHAT?

456. I LOVE YOU.

457.

458. YOU LOVE ME.

459. AH! AAH!

460. OH MY GOD! AWW!

461.

462. LOOK, I'M TIRED.

463. WHY DON'T WE JUST CALL THIS A VICIOUS BEATING

464. AND LEAVE IT AT THAT?

465. ONLY IF YOU'RE WILLING TO ADMIT

466. THAN THE FIST.

467. OKAY, YOU...

468. WIN?

469. OHHHH!

470. HEY MARY, MY HANDS ARE KINDA SWOLLEN.

471. I DON'T THINK I CAN DRIVE.

472. GIVE ME A LIFT HOME?

473. SURE! WHY DON'T I GO GET THE CAR...

474. AND...

475.

476. COME ON, JERRI. TAKE HER DOWN.

477.

478. AWW! FINISH THIS SHIT OFF!

479. YEAH AHHH!

480.

481. YAAAHHHH!

482.

483.

484.

485. JERRI, IT'S THE COPS!

486. WHAT? AH! OH, I HATE COPS.

487. MR. JELLINECK, CAN I GET A RIDE WITH YOU?

488. OF TOWN FOR A WHILE.

489. SURE JERRI, HOP IN.

490. BOY, YOU SURE TOOK A BEATING.

491. YEAH.

492. YOU KNOW, MAYBE I WAS WRONG ABOUT THIS PACIFISM THING.

493. ARE YOU INSANE?

494. LIKE A CHARM,

495. AS LONG AS YA' BUTTON IT.

496.

497. PEACE.

498.

499.

500. OH!

501. MAN DOWN.

502. IRIS, YOU SHOULD SEE THIS.

503. DAMN, THOSE TWO ARE FUNNY.

504. ALL RIGHT, IRIS, SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.

505. OH!

506. OH, OH!

507. OH, OW!

508. THIS WEEK IS THAT VIOLENCE

509. REALLY ISN'T THE ONLY WAY TO RESOLVE A CONFLICT...

510. BUT IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO WIN IT!

511. RIGHT, MR. J?

512. THAT'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, JERRI.

513. IS STARTING TO HEMORRHAGE.

514. THAT'S HILARIOUS.

515.