Strangers with Candy 3x6

Directed by Juan José Campanella

Deborah Rush as Sara Blank • Larc Spies as Derrick Blank • Virginia Williams as Wilma • Andy Richter as NutraWhiz Clerk • Erin Cottrell as Relay Team Member

Jerri joins the track team, but years of hard living have taken their toll on her physique. She turns to supplements of a most dubious nature to improve her performance, and the results surprise everyone at Flatpoint.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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2. HI. GOOD RACE, GOOD RACE.

3. DON'T STOP RUNNING NOW.

5. WOO, WHAT'S MY TIME?

6. WAY TO GO JERRI, YOU BLEW A 75 METER LEAD.

7. IS ONLY 100 METERS!

8. ALL RIGHT LADIES, WE'RE A TEAM!

9. WE CAN'T PUT ALL THE BLAME ON JERRI,

10. ALL HER FAULT!

11. THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE TEAMMATES,

12. SO LET'S ACT LIKE IT.

13. OH, SPEAKING OF WHICH,

14. I PULLED A HAMSTRING.

15. WOULD LIKE TO RUB IT DOWN?

16. JERRI!

17. OH, NO OFFENSE, BUT I WAS HOPING—

18. WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE THIS TIME?

19. FUNNY STORY, I STOPPED BY THE CANDY MACHINE, AND—

20. A TRIP TO THE CANDY MACHINE?

21. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY PUT THE CANDY MACHINE SO FAR FROM THE TRACK!

22. HIT THE LOCKER ROOM NOW!

23. AND GET RID OF THAT CANDY BAR!

24. SURE THING, COACH.

25. HELLO! I'M JERRI BLANK.

26. 32 YEARS AGO I DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL,

27. AND RAN AWAY FROM HOME.

28. OH, I MADE A LOT OF FRIENDS.

29. DID A LOT OF TIME.

30. I WAS A BOOZER...

31. A USER,

32. AND A LOSER.

33. I STOLE THE T.V.--

34. DID SOME MORE TIME.

35. BUT NOW I'M BACK IN SCHOOL!

36. MAY HAVE CHANGED...

37. JUST THE SAME.

38. Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL

39. GREAT RACE!

40. HEY, WE'LL GET 'EM NEXT TIME, LADIES!

41. HEY, WILMA, YA WANT SOME HELP, Y'KNOW, RUBBIN' THAT OUT?

42.

43. ALL RIGHT, WHY DON'T YOU GIRLS HIT THE TUB?

44. TUB!

45. NOT YOU, JERRI.

46. BUT— BUT IT'S TUB TIME,

47. YOU KNOW, RUB-A-DUB-DUB, FOUR GIRLS IN A TUB.

48. SIT DOWN, JERRI!

49. BUT— BUT THEY'RE SOAPING UP!

50. I CAN HEAR THE LATHER.

51. THE LATHER!

52. LOOK JERRI, WE ALL WANNA GET INTO THAT TUB,

53. IMPORTANT TO DISCUSS HERE.

54. I'M NOT ASKING FOR THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIP,

55. NOT TO COME IN LAST, ONCE.

56. I'M CUTTING YOU FROM THE TEAM.

57. WHAT?

58. WHERE'S THIS COMIN' FROM?

59. COME OVER HERE.

60. TURN AROUND.

61. PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN!

62. AHH!

63. AH, AHHH.

64. IT'S COLD AND CLAMMY— STOP, THIS DOESN'T HURT!

65. YOU ARE 80% BODY FAT.

66. WOW, WHAT'S THE OTHER 20% ?

67. IT LOOKS LIKE SCAR TISSUE.

68. OH PLEASE, PLEASE, OH PLEASE!

69. I'LL DO ANYTHING, DON'T KICK ME OFF THE TEAM,

70. GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE!

71.

72. JERRI, YOU SAY THE SAME THING EVERY TIME.

73. I KNOW, BUT THIS TIME I MEAN IT,

74. THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.

75. DON'T KICK ME OFF THAT TUB TEAM!

76. YOU MEAN THE TRACK TEAM? RIGHT.

77. I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE,

78. BUT IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR TIME DOWN BY FRIDAY, YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM.

79. WELL, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?

80. EFFORT INTO IT.

81. BUT I'M NOT SURE I WANNA PUT EXTRA EFFORT INTO SOMETHIN' I WANT.

82. THEN YOU'RE OFF THE TEAM!

83. FINE, IF THAT'S YOUR ATTITUDE,

84. BY CHANGING MY MIND

85. AND SAYING I'LL DO IT.

86. CAN I GET IN WHATEVER. THE TUB NOW?

87.

88. LATHER.

89. Bring it back right!

90. Good... bring it back!

91. Up!

92. Here we go right!

93. Here we go!

94. MMM, COOKIES!

95. DERRICK, JERRI!

96. TO VICTORY TODAY!

97.

98. OH! HERE'S MY LITTLE CHAMPION!

99. I MADE A PIZZA FOR YOU.

100. PIZZA, PIZZA, PIZZA!

101. YEAH. HOW'S THAT TASTE, TROLL?

102. I'M GONNA SQUAT MY WAY RIGHT TO THE TOP!

103. I DON'T GET IT.

104. YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MORE MUSCLE MASS THAN ME.

105. YOU'RE JUST A RACK OF BONES COVERED IN A THIN LAYER OF FAG.

106. HOW DO YOU DO IT?

107. I'M A NATURAL ATHLETE,

108. SOMETHIN' SPECIAL!

109. MAXIBULK 10,000!

110. IT'S GOT EVERYTHING YOU NEED, FOR MAXIMUM BULK.

111. SUGAR, CORN SYRUP, FRUCTOSE, MOLASSES,

112. BROWN SUGAR, CARAMEL COLOR, AND XANTHAN GUM.

113. XANTHAN GUM? WOW!

114. I WANT SOME!

115. NO WAY PLUG, I'M NOT WASTIN' MY STASH ON A LOSER LIKE YOU.

116. GET YOUR OWN.

117. GIVE IT TO ME!

118. MY STASH!

119. OH, GREAT, WHAT AM I GONNA EAT NOW, TROLL?

120. MOM!

121. 5, 6... 6 steps, keep going!

122.

123.

124. OH, HEY!

125. NUTRI-WIZ.

126. WAIT, LET ME GUESS,

127. YOUR WIFE OF 30 YEARS, JUST LEFT YOU,

128. SPARE TIRE AROUND THE MIDDLE

129. SO YOU CAN HIT THE CLUBS AGAIN

130. CHIQUITAS. AM I RIGHT?

131. NO— I'LL GET IT., OLD TIMER,

132. YOU'VE GOT A THYROID CONDITION THAT MAKES YOUR BONES BRITTLE,

133. SO YOU CAN CHASE AFTER THE GRANDKIDS

134. ABOUT ANOTHER BROKEN HIP?

135. I'M A HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN GIRL,

136. FOR THE TRACK TEAM.

137. OF COURSE!

138. MAXIBULK 10,000.

139. PACK MORE ON?

140. YOU SAY YOU'RE ON THE TRACK TEAM,

141. LET ME MAKE A SUGGESTION.

142. FOR BREAKFAST,

143. PROTEIN SHAKE FOR LUNCH, AFTER DUSK, NOTHIN' BUT CARBS.

144. REGIMEN FOR SIX MONTHS,

145. YOU'RE GONNA SEE SOME MARGINAL IMPROVEMENT.

146. FAST BY FRIDAY.

147. OKAY, LOOK, I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SELL THIS,

148. IN FACT, I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO POSSESS IT,

149. BUT YOU'RE AN EXCEPTIONAL—LY FAT CASE.

150. UH, HOLD ON.

151. LOOK, I RODE THAT BROWN TIGER FOR 20 YEARS.

152. A CARNIVAL OF HELL.

153. INDONESIAN BUSINESSMEN.

154. BY THE END, I WAS BARELY HUMAN.

155. BUT, I'M WILLING TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT.

156. OH, IT ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK.

157. ANABOLIC STEROIDS.

158. WELL WON'T THAT MAKE MY TESTIES SHRIVEL?

159. HAVE YOU GOT TESTIES?

160. OF COURSE NOT, I'M A GIRL.

161. TO MY SPERM COUNT?

162. LOOK, ALL YOU'VE GOTTA WORRY ABOUT

163. YOU'RE GONNA BE.

164. WELL THAT AND, UH,

165. BRAIN CANCER.

166. BRING IT ON BABY!

167.

168. LADIES.

169. SHOWIN' UP JERRI.

170. IF YOU DIDN'T COME WE COULD AT LEAST FORFEIT

171. HUMILIATION OF WATCHING YOU HOBBLE IN LAST.

172. WORDS OF SUPPORT.

173. I'LL BE SEEING YOU LADIES, IN THE WINNERS' CIRCLE.

174. REMEMBER JERRI, THIS IS YOUR LAST SHOT.

175. ON YOUR MARK, GET SET.

176.

177. GO GO GO GO GO!

178. STRAIGHT TO JERRI BLANK.

179. GO!

180. GO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

181. RUN!

182. NO.

183. YES, YES, YES!

184.

185. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DID IT JERRI,

186. FOR THE STATE TRIALS!

187. TO THE LOCKER ROOM!

188. TUB TIME!

189.

190. JERRI, CAN I TALK TO YOU A SECOND?

191. BUT IT'S TUB TIME.

192. OH, I KNOW, BUT THIS'LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE.

193. YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO YOU OUT THERE, BUT YOU WERE ON FIRE!

194. GUILTY.

195. SOMETHIN' IMPORTANT.

196. TO HIT THAT TUB.

197. I KNOW JERRI.

198. PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS?

199. NO.

200. OH GOOD, BECAUSE LEGALLY, I HAD TO ASK YOU ONCE.

201. HIT THE TUB.

202.

203. GIRLS!

204. MMM, I LOVE CHEESE!

205. ABOUT CHEESE?

206. YOU KNOW, ONCE AGAIN JERRI, GREAT RACE.

207. THANKS, WILMA.

208. JERRI, WHAT DID YOU DO TO IMPROVE SO MUCH?

209. OLD FUNDAMENTALS— RUNNING, BATONING.

210. ENOUGH ABOUT ME, TELL ME ABOUT THE TUB TODAY.

211. YOU KNOW, IT WAS THE SAME AS USUAL.

212. HOT WATER AND SOAP.

213. IT GOT SO HOT AND SLIPPERY IN THERE,

214. EACH OTHER FOR SUPPORT.

215. WITH THIS CRAZY GAME,

216. SHE WAS A MORAY EEL.

217. THE WATER AND NIBBLED ON US.

218. OUR LEGS WERE A CORAL REEF

219. AND WE HID THE SOAP UNDERNEATH OUR BOTTOMS.

220. FRIGHTENED LITTLE PUFFER FISH

221. AND THE EEL WAS TRYING TO GET AT IT.

222. I ALMOST GOT IT TOO.

223. JERRI, ARE YOU OKAY?

224. OH YEAH, I ALMOST DROWNED IN MY OWN SALIVA.

225. GOIN' TO STATE!

226. LOOK, I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT THIS STATE MEET.

227. YEAH, I MEAN, OUR TIME WAS PRETTY GOOD TODAY,

228. BUT IT'S A LONG WAY FROM WHAT IT WOULD TAKE TO WIN.

229. LOOK LADIES, NO NEED TO WORRY.

230. WHAT'S THAT, JERRI?

231. IT'S COMPLETELY HARMLESS.

232. I MEAN, I DID IT AND LOOK AT MY TIME.

233. WOULD BE ABLE TO BEAT US.

234. THEN WE CAN GO, UH, GO CELEBRATE IN THE TUB, HUH?

235. I DON'T KNOW JERRI.

236. YOUR CLITORIS ENLARGE.

237. ARE YOU OKAY?

238. OH, YEAH, BLACKED OUT AGAIN.

239. LOOK, IF WE'RE SERIOUS ABOUT WINNING, THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE.

240. I'M AFRAID OF NEEDLES.

241. DON'T WORRY, WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO MY HOUSE.

242. ONCE WE'RE THERE, I'LL SWAB DOWN THE NUDE BEHINDS

243. OF YOU THREE LADIES.

244. I'LL TAKE MY TIME, FIND THE VEIN, THEN I'LL INJECT YOU.

245. IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

246. OKAY, JERRI.

247. CHECK PLEASE!

248. TO GIVE US?

249. WELL, IT'S REALLY SCIENTIFIC.

250. THE FASTER YOU WANNA GO, THE MORE YOU TAKE.

251. HOW FAST DO YOU WANNA GO?

252. REALLY FAST.

253. THEN I'LL GIVE YOU A REALLY LOT.

254. IS THIS DANGEROUS?

255. YEAH, DANGEROUSLY EXCITING!

256.

257. DERRICK! ARE YOU EAVESDROPPING ON YOUR SISTER

258. AND HER FIT YOUNG FRIENDS?

259. YEAH, IT SOUNDS SO WEIRD IN THERE.

260. IT SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE NAKED AND GIGGLING AND STUFF

261. AND DOING THINGS.

262. DERRICK, YOU'RE A HEALTHY TEENAGE BOY.

263. WHY DON'T YOU SWING OPEN THE DOOR AND CATCH THEM IN THEIR PANTIES?

264. NAW, THINK I'M JUST GONNA WATCH SOME FIGURE SKATIN' ON TV.

265. CONGRATULATIONS, COACH WOLF.

266. I'VE SEEN THEM COME, I'VE SEEN THEM GO,

267. THIS IS THE FINEST LADIES' FLATPOINT TRACK TEAM WE'VE EVER HAD!

268. A LADIES' TRACK TEAM?

269. FIRST YEAR, SIR.

270. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

271. OKAY LADIES!

272. REMEMBER, IF WE WIN HERE WE'RE GOIN' TO STATE!

273. LET'S DO SO WELL THAT IT CAN'T POSSIBLY BE EXPLAINED BY OUR TALENT

274. OR OUR TRAINING!

275. DO IT! C'MON!

276. LADY DONKS!

277. ON YOUR MARKS...

278. GET SET.

279.

280.

281. WELL I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU ALL.

282. EXPRESSED CONCERN

283. ABOUT HOW WE'VE IMPROVED SO QUICKLY.

284. THAT I MIGHT FIND OUT.

285. BUT, A TEAM IS BUILT ON TRUST,

286. TO KEEP IT FROM ME.

287. I'LL GO DRAW YOUR BATH.

288. TUB TIME!

289. WE'RE GONNA GET BUSTED.

290. FIND OUT?

291. RELAX GIRLS!

292. I DON'T WANT Y'ALL STRESSED OUT IN THE TUB.

293. BESIDES, WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

294. OH, YOU LADIES ARE DRESSED.

295. WELL, I'LL SAY MY PIECE ANYWAY.

296. RUMORS FLOATING AROUND

297. IMPROVED YOUR TIMES.

298. THE ANSWER AS TO WHY.

299. GASP! GASP! GASP!

300. YOU'RE VERY FAST!

301. YEAH, FAST!

302. BUT... I HAVE SOME OTHER NEWS

303. FIND INTERESTING.

304. YOU'RE ALL...

305. GETTING NEW UNIFORMS!

306. NICE!

307. WON'T BE GIVING THEM TO YOU NOW.

308. I DON'T WANT THEM TO GET DIRTY.

309. GOOD WORK, LADIES.

310. SEE, I TOLD YOU— WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

311. OH, ONE MORE THING.

312. BEFORE THE STATE FINALS, THE OFFICIALS WILL BE HOLDING RANDOM DRUG TESTING.

313. IF IT'S FOUND YOU HAVE ANY ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES IN YOUR BODIES,

314. YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED, AND THEN SUSPENDED.

315. DON'T LET ME DOWN.

316. BLACKIE. WOLFIE.

317. YOUR TUB'S READY.

318. TUB TIME!

319. UM, WE DON'T FEEL LIKE A BATH TODAY.

320. WELL, HOW 'BOUT A SHOWER?

321. CAN I SEE YOU NAKED?

322. A SECOND?

323. READY?

324. OKAY! OKAY! OKAY!

325. CHARGE!

326. LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE FLATPOINT CHEERLEADERS!

327. RHYTHM IS GONNA GET 'CHA!

328. AND, OF COURSE, THE REASON WE'RE HERE TONIGHT,

329. LADIES' TRACK TEAM!

330.

331. ABOUT THESE WINNERS!

332. REPRESENT THIS SCHOOL,

333. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, THEY REPRESENT...

334. ME!

335. SEXY LITTLE TRACK SUIT,

336. FINISH LINE FIRST?

337. I CAN.

338. GOD HELP ME, IF THEY LOSE.

339. LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE DONKETTES!

340. I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. IN A MINUTE.

341. I HAVE SOMETHIN' TO SAY!

342. I DIDN'T GET TO MY CHEER YET.

343. GET OFF! GREAT, I FIRED 'EM UP.

344. LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN KEEP THEIR ATTENTION.

345. THE LADY DONK TRACK TEAM!

346. OF OUR GIRLS!

347. THEY'RE SO NATURALLY FAST!

348. DOESN'T COME IN A BOTTLE.

349. NO PRACTICE, YET 30 SECONDS OFF THEIR TIME IN THREE DAYS!

350. SO KICK 'EM DONKS!

351.

352. GIMME AN "A"

353. GIMME AN "T"

354. GIMME AN "P"

355. WE ARE SO BUSTED!

356. LOOK, JERRI, THIS WHOLE THING WAS YOUR IDEA!

357. YOU HAVE TO TELL THE COACH.

358. MAYBE IF WE TELL HER NOW, THEY'LL TAKE PITY ON US

359. AND AT LEAST WE WON'T GET KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL.

360. LOOK, WE CAN BEAT THIS DRUG TEST.

361. I'VE DONE THIS A 100 TIMES BEFORE!

362. IS LIKE,

363. 30 PINTS OF FRESH BLOOD, AND I KNOW WHERE WE CAN GET IT.

364. TELL HER, JERRI!

365. STRETCHED OUT?

366. COACH WOLF, I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.

367. HEY, LOOK, JERRI, ALL'S I KNOW IS WHAT I DON'T KNOW,

368. THAT WAY, OKAY?

369. NOW I'M GONNA BE UP IN THE BLEACHERS,

370. HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR SUCCESS.

371. ALL RIGHT, LADIES.

372. I'M HERE FOR YOUR RANDOM DRUG TEST.

373. I'M GOING TO CHOOSE ONE MEMBER OF YOUR TEAM.

374. ILLEGAL SHOWS UP,

375. AND EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL.

376. LET'S SEE.

377. EENY,

378. MEENY,

379. MINEY,

380. YOU!

381. SHH! SHH!

382. AND GET IN HERE.

383. I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

384. AND EVERYTHING.

385. WHAT GAVE US AWAY?

386. TEAMMATES TOLD ME.

387. SOMETHING, BLANK.

388. BE DISGRACED BY YOU AND YOUR TEAM'S DISGRACEFUL ACTIONS.

389. GIVE ME THAT CUP,

390. I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING DISGRACEFUL IN IT.

391. STAND BACK, BLANK, YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS.

392.

393. LADIES...

394. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU PASSED!

395. I SHOULD TELL YOU, THAT ALTHOUGH YOUR URINE WAS DRUG-FREE,

396. CASE OF GONORRHEA.

397. GOOD LUCK.

398. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM

399. FLATPOINT HIGH CHORAL ENSEMBLE.

400. EEEW, YOU SUCK! ♪ BY THE DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT ♪

401. THAT'S DETENTION, MISTER!

402. ON YOUR MARKS,

403. GET SET.

404.

405. GO JERRI!

406. KICK 'EM DONKS! GO!

407. YOU'RE AMAZING, JERRI!

408.

409.

410.

411. OOH.

412. IS THAT ONLY LOSERS DO DRUGS,

413. UNLESS IT HELPS YOU WIN.

414. AND IN THAT CASE, ONLY WINNERS DO DRUGS!

415. HEY, UH, LADIES!

416. YOU KNOW SOMETHING, I'M FEELING ALL EELY!

417. Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL

418. Captioned by Soundwriters™