Strangers with Candy 3x4

Directed by Peter Lauer

Deborah Rush as Sara Blank • Larc Spies as Derrick Blank • Maria Christina Thayer as Tammi Littlenut • Justin Daniel as Casper • Chris Carmack as Laird

Jerri and class hunk Laird are having a fling, but he is insistent on keeping it a secret. So Jerri finds herself forced to hide out in odd places like Laird's locker, the trunk of his car, a trash can, etc., so they can continue their secret rendezvous. Meanwhile, Jerri's stepmother experiences relationship troubles with Stew, prompting an unusual bonding moment between stepmother and stepdaughter.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. ( Noblet ) OKAY, HERE'S AN IDEA.

2. I'LL BE A COWBOY, YOU BE AN INDIAN.

3. ( Jellineck ) HOW COME YOU ALWAYS GET THE UPPER HAND?

4. FINE, THEN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING.

5. PRISON GUARD AND YOU COULD BE A DEATH ROW INMATE.

6. WHO HAS THE UPPER HAND THEN?

7. ( both ) U-BOAT CAPTAINS!

8. YAWOL!

9. WE CAN CHASE EACH OTHER AROUND THE MURKY DEEP. YEAH!

10. THEN WE CAN FIRE OUR MISSILES!

11. "RIG FOR SILENT RUNNING!"

12. WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING DOWN HERE?

13. HEY, IS THAT HOW THEY HEAT THE WHOLE SCHOOL?

14. YEAH, THAT'S THE BOILER AND THIS IS THE, UH...

15. GAUGE. ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO.

16. IF YOU DON'T MIND, THE SCHOOL DAY IS OVER. I'D LIKE TO LOCK UP.

17. HEY, AND I'D LIKE TO GO HOME.

18. I'LL DRIVE. ALL RIGHT.

19. PRINCIPAL.

20. ( knock-knock-knock )

21. OH, BABY, MMMM.

22. BRING YOUR FINE WHITE ASS DOWN HERE.

23. WATCH THE PIPE, IT'S HOT.

24. AND I DON'T MEAN THE HEATING DUCT.

25. HELLO! I'M JERRI BLANK.

26. 32 YEARS AGO I DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL

27. AND RAN AWAY FROM HOME.

28. OH, I MADE A LOT OF FRIENDS,

29. DID A LOT OF TIME...

30. I WAS A BOOZER, A USER, AND A LOSER.

31. I STOLE THE TV—

32. DID SOME MORE TIME.

33. BUT NOW I'M BACK IN SCHOOL!

34. AND THOUGH THE FACES MAY HAVE CHANGED...

35. THE HASSLES ARE JUST THE SAME.

36. Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL

37. THANKS FOR SNEAKING AWAY AND SECRETLY MEETING ME.

38. OH, LAIRD—

39. LOOK, I BETTER GO.

40. AND REMEMBER, THIS IS OUR LITTLE SECRET.

41. OH, AND JERRI, COULD YOU COUNT TO 20 OR SO BEFORE YOU LEAVE?

42. THANKS.

43. ( knocking ) LITTLE HELP!

44. L-LITTLE HELP!

45. ( knocking )

46. LITTLE HELP.

47. JERRI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN LAIRD'S LOCKER?

48. WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW?

49. I CAN'T BELIEVE

50. YOU MISSED NOBLET'S CLASS AGAIN.

51. WE HAD A POP QUIZ.

52. DID WE?

53. ARE YOU UP TO SOMETHING WITH LAIRD?

54. I DON'T KISS AND TELL, WELL I DO,

55. BUT LET'S JUST SAY THAT THE PERSON WITH WHOM

56. I WAS ENGAGED IN A MAJOR LIP LOCK WITH

57. WILL REMAIN LAIRDLESS.

58. YOU AND LAIRD?

59. LAIRD, THE HOTTEST, MOST POPULAR GUY IN SCHOOL?

60. THAT'S RIGHT, TAMMELA.

61. RIGHT NOW IT'S ALL PRETTY HUSH-HUSH.

62. WE'RE PLAYING THIS LITTLE ROMANTIC GAME,

63. WHERE HE PRETENDS I DON'T EVEN EXIST.

64. BUT I'M SURE WE'RE GONNA GO PUBLIC WITH IT REAL SOON.

65. BUT YOU'RE GOING TO THE FALL MAKE-OUT FESTIVAL TOGETHER, RIGHT?

66. WELL HE HASN'T ASKED ME YET,

67. BUT, UH, I'M SURE HE WILL.

68. I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, JERRI!

69. EVEN THOUGH IT SEEMS PRETTY LIKELY YOU'RE GONNA BE BADLY HURT.

70. NOT THIS TIME, NUTTAGE.

71. BECAUSE I'M BLINDLY IN LOVE,

72. AND MINDLESSLY FOLLOWING MY WHIMS,

73. AS WELL AS PUTTING ALL MY EMOTIONAL EGGS

74. IN ONE FRAGILE BASKET.

75. JUST BE CAREFUL. I AM!

76. OH TAMMI, I GOTTA GO!

77. LAIRD WANTS ME TO HIDE IN THE TRUNK OF HIS CAR DURING LUNCH!

78. IS HE GONNA MEET YOU THERE?

79. I DON'T KNOW, WHO CARES, I'M IN LOVE!

80. WHEEEE!

81. WHEEEE!

82. SO THAT'S IT, I'M OUT OF A JOB.

83. I DON'T BELIEVE IT, STEW, THERE MUST BE PLENTY OF WORK

84. FOR A MEAT MAN OF YOUR CALIBER.

85. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, SARA, THE MEAT MARKET HAS CRASHED.

86. PEOPLE DON'T WANT MEAT ANYMORE.

87. WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT FOR NOW

88. I HAVE NO SAVINGS, NO MEANS TO MAKE MONEY

89. AND NO DESIRE TO DO SO.

90. SO UNTIL I EITHER FIND A JOB OR GET SICK OF LIVIN' HERE,

91. I'M JUST GONNA HANG OUT.

92. MAYBE YOU COULD CHECK THE WANT-ADS.

93. GODDAMMIT, SARA!

94. I GET ENOUGH OF THAT CRAP FROM MY WIFE WHEN I'M AT HOME,

95. DO I HAVE TO HEAR IT HERE TOO?

96. MUMSY!

97. OH, DID YOU DO SOMETHING NEW WITH YOUR HAIR?

98. STEW!

99. I LOVE MY FAMILY!

100. THAT IS GONNA STOP RIGHT NOW!

101. "DEAR DIARY,

102. "I'M SORRY FOR ALL THOSE HATEFUL, RACIST THINGS I SAID ABOUT YOU.

103. "EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED, I'M IN LOVE!

104. "THIS IS NO CRUSH!

105. "I FEEL LIKE I'M WILDLY OUT OF CONTROL

106. "ON A TOBOGGAN OF PASSION

107. "SLIDING DOWN AN ICY MOUNTAIN OF LAIRD

108. "HEADED TOWARDS A GIANT OAK TREE OF DENIAL!

109. "I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY!

110. "SOMETHING YOU WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND,

111. "YOU DIRTY, DIRTY JEW DIARY.

112. "KIDDING, JUST KIDDING!

113. JERRI BLANK."

114. ( snoring )

115. NOW I CAN KILL TOO, CHINO.

116. BECAUSE NOW I HAVE HATE!

117. IS THERE A BOO-LET LEFT IN THIS GUN FOR ME?

118. OR FOR JOO?

119. OR FOR JOO?

120. ( sobbing )

121. IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN APPLAUD.

122. OKAY!

123. WHAT DO YOU THINK SHAKESPEARE WAS TRYING TO SAY HERE

124. AT THE END OF "WEST SIDE STORY" ?

125. ANYBODY?

126. JERRI? YES, SIR?

127. JERRI, WHERE IS WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR MIND?

128. AT THE END OF "WEST SIDE STORY,"

129. WHY DO THE LOVERS STRANGLE EACH OTHER?

130. TO PROVE THAT LOVE IS WORTH DYING FOR?

131. NO, I THINK WHAT SHAKESPEARE WAS GETTING AT

132. IS THAT DEATH IS PREFERABLE TO HAVING

133. YOUR SECRET RELATIONSHIP REVEALED.

134. IS THAT TRUE?

135. WHAT WOULD I KNOW ABOUT SECRET RELATIONSHIPS, CHIP?

136. I'M IN A VERY OPEN, VERY MARRIED RELATIONSHIP WITH MY WIFE.

137. SEE? THAT'S HER.

138. UH, CLAIRE.

139. PSST.

140. PICNIC IN THE BOILER ROOM. FIVE MINUTES.

141. HEY, MISTER, EYES ON YOUR OWN TEST!

142. BUT WE'RE NOT TAKING A TEST.

143. I CAN FIX THAT RIGHT NOW.

144. EVERYBODY GET OUT A PIECE OF PAPER.

145. HEY, DON'T GET ANGRY WITH ME!

146. BLAME MR. NOSEY-EYES HERE.

147. OK, QUESTION #1.

148. EXPLAIN WESTERN HISTORY.

149. BE SPECIFIC, SUPPORT YOUR ANSWER.

150. ( bell rings )

151. OK, PUT YOUR PENCILS DOWN, HAND IN YOUR TESTS.

152. I'LL GRADE THEM ON THEIR PENMANSHIP.

153. JERRI, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

154. I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR GRADES LATELY.

155. FOR MOST OF THE SEMESTER, YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING NICE AND STEADY AT AN...

156. "F".

157. BUT LATELY, YOU'VE BEEN SLIPPING.

158. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PULL AN "A" ON THE MIDTERM

159. JUST TO FAIL.

160. IS EVERYTHING OKAY? EVERYTHING'S WONDERFUL!

161. I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.

162. I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T BE TELLING YOU THIS,

163. BUT, UH, I'VE BEEN INVOLVED IN A SECRET RELATIONSHIP—

164. JERRI, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO LISTEN TO YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS.

165. I'VE GOTTA GET DOWN TO THE BOILER ROOM

166. AND GRADE SOME PAPERS.

167. WITH LAIRD.

168. LAIRD!

169. WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU STUPID BITCH!

170. MEET ME AT THE SECRET PLACE IN FIVE.

171. LOVE.

172. HEY, JERRI. HEY, LAIRD.

173. WHAT'S UP?

174. NOTHIN' MUCH, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?

175. NOTHIN', THANKS FOR MEETING ME HERE.

176. THANKS FOR ASKIN'.

177. YEAH. YEAH.

178. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MAKE-OUT PARTY?

179. OH YEAH.

180. HEY MAN, WE'RE HITTIN' THE CRAPPER, WANNA GO?

181. HELL YEAH, I'LL BE THERE IN A SECOND.

182. LOOK, JERRI, I GOTTA GO.

183. I GOTTA GO TAKE A DUMP WITH MY BUDDIES.

184. THAT'S COOL.

185. LAIRD, WHEN CAN WE TELL OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT US?

186. JERRI, WE CAN'T TELL ANY OF THE GUYS ABOUT THIS SECRET.

187. BUT WHY LAIRDILES?

188. I DON'T KNOW, IT'S JUST...

189. YOU KNOW, HANGIN' OUT WITH THE GUYS IS COOL,

190. AND, YOU KNOW, HAVIN' A GIRLFRIEND IS SO GAY.

191. LOOK, I BETTER GO.

192. I DON'T WANT THOSE GUYS TO START WITHOUT ME.

193. OKAY. I'LL CATCH YOU LATER.

194. HEY, JERRI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

195. OH, LAIRD SAYS IT TICKLES HIM,

196. OR REPULSES HIM OR SOMETHING.

197. HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH YOU TWO? GREAT!

198. I'M MEETING HIM LATER IN THIS HOLE HE DUG FOR ME.

199. I CAN'T BELIEVE HE STILL WANTS TO KEEP THIS RELATIONSHIP A SECRET.

200. THAT'S WRONG, JERRI!

201. IT'S DISRESPECTFUL.

202. YOU NEED TO START RESPECTING YOURSELF!

203. LOOK, JERRI.

204. I'M DATING MR. GWINNETTE, THE SCIENCE TEACHER,

205. AND HE'S DOING THE RIGHT THING BY KEEPING IT VERY OPEN.

206. DON'T LET LAIRD GET AWAY WITH THIS!

207. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

208. HEY. HEY.

209. STEW, WHO— WHO ARE THESE CHILDREN?

210. IT'S CHUCK AND PATTY, THEY'RE MY KIDS.

211. I THOUGHT WHILE I WASN'T WORKING,

212. THEY COULD SORT OF LIVE HERE FOR A WHILE.

213. I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SUPPORT TWO MORE CHILDREN.

214. THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT, SARA!

215. WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? MY WIFE DOES!

216. HEY, STEW, YOU SEEN MY MOTHER?

217. WHICH ONE, YOUR REAL ONE, YOUR DEAD ONE,

218. OR THE ONE I HAVE SEX WITH?

219. MMM, SEX WITH.

220. I CAN TELL YOU WHERE SHE'S NOT!

221. MAKIN' DINNER FOR ME AND MY KIDS!

222. NICE CHAT, STEW.

223. ( glass breaking )

224. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

225. HMM, WHAT AN ODD SITUATION,

226. THAT YOU MY MOTHER FIGURE MIGHT NEED THE INSIGHT

227. OF HER ONLY FAKE DAUGHTER.

228. LUCKILY FOR YOU, I GOT NOTHIN' TO SAY.

229. YOU KNOW, JERRI, IT'S JUST THAT WHEN STEW TAKES ADVANTAGE OF ME,

230. I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF!

231. BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE IT WOULD GIVE ME THE UPPER HAND,

232. I'M GOING TO HELP YOU.

233. STEW IS DISRESPECTING YOU.

234. YOU NEED TO START RESPECTING YOURSELF, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

235. WHERE HAVE I HEARD THOSE WORDS TODAY?

236. HMM.

237. THE POINT IS, I HAVE THE UPPER HAND.

238. YOU'RE RIGHT, JERRI, AND THANK YOU.

239. I NEED TO TAKE SOME ACTION.

240. I WANT YOU TO MOVE OUT TO MAKE ROOM FOR STEW'S KIDS.

241. WHAT?

242. HEY, YOU GOING TO THE SCHOOL MAKE-OUT PARTY?

243. YOU KIDDING ME? I WOULDN'T MISS IT.

244. OH.

245. OH, THIS AIRSHAFT'S SO COZY.

246. SPEAKIN' OF SHAFTS,

247. YOU GOING TO THE MAKE-OUT PARTY?

248. OH YEAH, I'M GONNA CHECK IT OUT.

249. BET THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF PEOPLE THERE.

250. GOSH, I'M NOT DOIN' ANYTHING TONIGHT.

251. WAIT A MINUTE, I'VE GOT AN IDEA!

252. YOU WANNA MAKE-OUT? SURE!

253. HOW 'BOUT TONIGHT?

254. AH, I CAN'T.

255. GOIN' TO A MAKE-OUT PARTY.

256. LISTEN, JERRI, I GOTTA GO.

257. I'LL CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP SIDE.

258. GOOD, NOW ISOLATE EACH OF THE VITAL ORGANS

259. AND THE NEURAL GANGLIA.

260. HEY, HEY, HEY, MISTER!

261. THAT FETAL PIG GAVE ITS LIFE SO YOU COULD LEARN SOMETHING!

262. SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT!

263. HEY, HONEY, LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

264. I...

265. HEART...

266. YOU!

267. OH, MR. GWINNETTE!

268. ( everyone ) AWWWW!

269. NOW, THE CHAMBERS OF THE HEART, OR VENTRICLES,

270. CAN BE DIVIDED BY TWO, TWICE...

271. SO, WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH LAIRD?

272. IS HE GONNA GO PUBLIC WITH YOU GUYS?

273. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT LAIRD INVITED ME

274. TO THE MAKE-OUT PARTY TONIGHT.

275. JERRI, THAT'S GREAT!

276. MR. GWINNETTE AND I WILL SEE YOU THERE.

277. OH YOU WOULD'VE, BUT I GOT SOMETHIN' BETTER TO DO.

278. WHAT?

279. OH, I'M UH...

280. I'M GETTING A... COLONIC.

281. YEAH, GETTING SOME SOAPY WATER PUMPED UP THE OLD CHUTE.

282. YOU KNOW, GET RID OF THE BLACK TAR

283. THAT'S BEEN BUILDIN' UP IN THE OLD PIPES.

284. GOOD TIMES!

285. COME ON JERRI, BLOW THAT OFF AND COME.

286. LET EVERYONE SEE THAT YOU'RE A COUPLE.

287. OKAY, I WILL!

288. HEY, BLANK, WHO YOU TAKING TO THE MAKE-OUT PARTY?

289. IS IT HUMAN?

290. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I'M MAKING-OUT

291. WITH SOMEONE REAL REGULAR!

292. WHO?

293. LAAARRNYAH-NYAH-NYAH... WHO?

294. I CAN'T TELL YOU.

295. RIGHT, BECAUSE HE DOESN'T EXIST.

296. ( whispering ) LAIRD!

297. ( whispering ) LAIRD!

298. ( whispering ) LAIRD!

299. MEET ME IN THE SCIENCE LAB AFTER 6th PERIOD.

300. BRING A DISGUISE!

301. STEW, I THINK WE NEED TO TALK.

302. THAT'S IT!

303. LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU FIND YOURSELF

304. ANOTHER UNEMPLOYED MARRIED MAN WITH TWO CHILDREN TO SUPPORT,

305. BECAUSE I AM OUT OF HERE!

306. STEW, THAT'S NOT WHAT I—

307. STEW!

308. STEW!

309. HELLO, HELLO, MR. COW?

310. YOU HAVE GOT THE COW POX AND I AM LOUIS PASTEUR

311. AND I HAVE COME TO INOCULATE YOU!

312. YOU GOTTA CATCH ME FIRST!

313. OH, MR. COW, YOU COME BACK HERE!

314. YOU NAUGHTY LITTLE COW!

315. WELL, IS THIS MY BUNSEN BURNER?

316. I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS.

317. LAIRD, WHAT AM I DOING HERE, SHOULDN'T I BE IN CLASS?

318. I DON'T KNOW.

319. WELL, I'M GONNA FIND OUT, MISTER!

320. JERRI?

321. LOOK, LAIRD.

322. LOOK, I'M ALL FOR ANONYMOUS SEX,

323. DON'T GET ME WRONG.

324. I COULDN'T POSSIBLY COUNT THE NUMBER OF STEAM PIPES I'VE BEEN HIKED UP AGAINST,

325. BUT, OH, IT'S VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO SAY...

326. THIS BETTER NOT BE YOU WANNA GO TO THAT MAKE-OUT PARTY.

327. OF COURSE NOT.

328. LAIRD, I WANNA GO TO THAT MAKE-OUT PARTY!

329. LOOK, I LOVE YOU!

330. AND I WANT EVERYBODY TO SEE US TOGETHER

331. SO I CAN EXPLOIT THE SITUATION

332. BEFORE YOU COME TO YOUR SENSES!

333. LOOK, JERRI, I'M FEELIN' A LOT OF PRESSURE FROM YOU RIGHT NOW.

334. WE HAD A GREAT ONE-SIDED RELATIONSHIP GOIN' ON,

335. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'D WANNA RUIN IT.

336. I'M NOT TRYIN' TO RUIN IT, I WANNA MAKE IT BETTER.

337. MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP PRETENDING NOT TO SEE EACH OTHER,

338. AND START REALLY NOT SEEING EACH OTHER!

339. LAIRD!

340. ZARLOX?

341. I SHOULDN'T.

342. MAYBE FOR LATER.

343. LAIRD LEFT ME! STEW LEFT ME!

344. I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

345. THAT'S TERRIBLE! THAT'S TERRIBLE!

346. I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

347. WHO'S LAIRD?

348. LAIRD'S MY SECRET BOYFRIEND

349. HE WAS THE FIRE OF MY LOINS.

350. I WANTED TO MAKE OUR LOVE PUBLIC

351. AND HE LEFT ME.

352. OH, I UNDERSTAND.

353. YOU UNDERSTAND WHY I'M SO UPSET?

354. NO, I UNDERSTAND WHY SOMEONE WOULD LEAVE YOU.

355. WELL, STEW LEFT YOU AND LAIRD LEFT ME,

356. SO I GUESS WE'RE IN THE SAME BOAT.

357. OH, I PRAYED THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME.

358. THAT HE WOULD LEAVE YOU?

359. THAT WE WOULD HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.

360. I GUESS YOU AND I HAVE HAD SOME BAD TIMES TOGETHER.

361. OH YEAH, BUT WE'VE HAD SOME HORRIBLE TIMES, TOO.

362. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU AND I NEED, JERRI?

363. WE NEED SOMETHING TO TAKE OUR MINDS OFF

364. OF OUR FAILED RELATIONSHIPS.

365. I KNOW WHERE THERE'S A MAKE-OUT PARTY.

366. I'M IN.

367. LET'S GO! LET'S GO!

368. ( groaning and sucking )

369. WELCOME, LADIES, TO THE SEMI-ANNUAL

370. FLATPOINT FALL MAKE-OUT CARNIVALE.

371. CAN I GET YOU A COUCH?

372. ACTUALLY, WE'RE JUST HERE TO BROWSE.

373. HMM, MAYBE YOU CARE TO PARTNER-UP.

374. I HAPPEN TO KNOW PLENTY OF MATURE ELIGIBLE ME'S.

375. THAT'S A VERY KIND OFFER, PRINCIPAL,

376. BUT I STRONGLY OPPOSE RACIAL "COMMINGLING".

377. I'M WITH YOU 100 PERCENT,

378. EXCEPT, OF COURSE, FOR MY UNCONTROLLABLE DESIRE

379. FOR MIDDLE-AGED WHITE WOMEN.

380. ENJOY YOURSELVES.

381. GOOD TURN OUT!

382. MMPH, A LOT OF TONGUE-LASHING GOIN' ON.

383. YOU KNOW I— I THINK MAYBE I PUSHED HIM TOO HARD.

384. I THINK I'LL GIVE STEW A CALL.

385. DON'T DO IT!

386. RESPECT YOURSELF, MAKE HIM COME TO YOU.

387. THERE'S LAIRD, I'M GONNA GO TO HIM!

388. OH GOD!

389. STEW, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FOUND ME HERE!

390. NEITHER CAN I, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

391. OH I JUST CAME TO WALLOW IN OTHER PEOPLE'S HAPPINESS.

392. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

393. I JUST CAME TO MAKE-OUT WITH SOMEBODY.

394. WHY CAN'T THAT SOMEBODY BE ME?

395. I DON'T SEE WHY NOT.

396. BUT FIRST, THERE'S SOMETHIN' I WANNA SAY TO YOU, SARA.

397. I'VE BEEN A FOOL, IT'S SOMETHIN' I SHOULD HAVE SAID A LONG TIME AGO.

398. HERE GOES...

399. I'M WILLING TO COME BACK TO YOU,

400. AS LONG AS NOTHING CHANGES.

401. STEW!

402. GEOFFREY!

403. ( whistles )

404. UH-HUH, GEOFFREY!

405. GEOFFREY!

406. PSST, LAIRD!

407. LAIRD, PSST!

408. LAIRD!

409. LAIRD, I'LL MAKE THIS QUICK,

410. SO YOU CAN GET BACK TO YOUR PALS.

411. THIS ISN'T EASY FOR ME TO SAY,

412. BUT UNLESS WE MAKE OUR LOVE PUBLIC, TONIGHT, RIGHT NOW,

413. I'M GONNA HAVE TO KEEP DOING EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING

414. AND KEEP OUR LOVE A SECRET.

415. AND I MEAN IT!

416. SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

417. BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE ANGRY AT ME AND EVERYTHING.

418. WHAT ABOUT YOUR SELF-RESPECT?

419. I'VE RECENTLY LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT SELF-RESPECT.

420. I DON'T HAVE ANY.

421. HEY, JERRI.

422. WANNA MAKE OUT?

423. OH LAIRD!

424. HIDE IN THE DUMPSTER, I'LL BE OUT LATER.

425. I'LL BE THERE! MMPH!

426. HI JERRI, DID YOU KEEP YOUR SELF-RESPECT?

427. NO, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

428. NOPE.

429. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WE HAVE THAT'S A LOT MORE IMPORTANT?

430. WE BOTH HAVE SOMEONE TO MAKE OUT WITH!

431. WHERE ARE YOU HEADED?

432. I'M MEETING LAIRD IN THE DUMPSTER!

433. Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL

434. Captioned by Soundwriters™