1. TWEETZIE RAILROAD,
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2. AND ADVENTURE!
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3. COME ON IN,
COME ON IN!
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4. TWEETZIE RAILROAD!
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5. OW!
MOTHERF— !
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6.
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7. HEY, YOU KIDS, CUT THAT OUT
OR I'LL CALL THE COPS!
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8. GO AHEAD, WE'LL CALL
THE CAVALRY!
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9. CAVALRY— HA HA— OW!
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10. I GET IT, 'CAUSE I'M
AN INDIAN, RIGHT?
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11. COME ON, JERRI,
LET'S GO, I CAME HERE TO RIDE THE TRAINS.
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12. OH, HANG ON
TO YOUR RICKSHAW, CHIN LEE.
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13. THAT INDIAN AGAIN.
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14. FOR THE LAST TIME, JERRI,
I'M NOT CHINESE!
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15. OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
I KEEP FORGETTING.
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16. YOU'RE A "CHIMPAPINO."
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17. I'M LEAVING!
ORLANDO!
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18. HIS FURRY SKIN?
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19. HEY, TONTO!
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20. OH!
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21.
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22. HELLO, I'M JERRI BLANK.
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23. 32 YEARS AGO I DROPPED
OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL
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24. AND RAN AWAY FROM HOME.
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25. OH, I MADE A
LOT OF FRIENDS.
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26. DID A LOT OF TIME.
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27. I WAS A BOOZER,
A USER, AND A LOSER.
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28. I STOLE THE TV.
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29. DID SOME MORE TIME.
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30. BUT NOW I'M
BACK IN SCHOOL!
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31. MAY HAVE CHANGED...
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32. ARE JUST THE SAME.
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33. EXCELLENT, INDIAN CORN!
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34. A BLUNDERBUSS!
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35. GOOD.
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36. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
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37. IT'S A TURKEY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
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38. YOU SOMETHIN'.
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39. THERE YOU GO.
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40. LIKE A TURKEY.
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41. YEAH, BUT DID YOU SEE
HOW QUICKLY I DID MINE?
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42. OKAY, GOOD!
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43. AS YOU ALL KNOW,
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44. OUR TWO-WEEK HOLIDAY BREAK,
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45. WE'LL BE PUTTING ON
OUR BI-ANNUAL THANKSGIVING TURKEY PAGEANT!
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46. GOBBLE-GOBBLE!
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47. OKAY, LET'S FIND OUT WHO'S
PLAYING WHAT IN THE PAGEANT.
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48. A PILGRIM?
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49. ORLANDO, YOU CAN'T
BE A PILGRIM!
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50. SNOWY WHITE SKIN
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51. THEIR CHRISTIAN SOULS.
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52. THEY DIDN'T SACRIFICE COCONUTS
TO THEIR MONKEY GODS!
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53.
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54. THAT'S IT, JERRI,
I'VE HAD IT!
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55. IT'S LIKE TO BE DIFFERENT,
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56. JUST BECAUSE YOUR SKIN IS A LITTLE...
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57. DARKER!
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58. Y'KNOW, I'M PROUD
OF WHO I AM,
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59. UNDERSTAND THAT,
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60. WE ARE
NO LONGER FRIENDS!
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61. WAY TO GO, JERRI.
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62. MY BEST CHANCE FOR AN INDIAN.
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63. WANNA BE PILGRIMS.
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64. HEY, I LOVE
BUCKLES TOO!
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65. BUT I NEED SAVAGES.
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66. HEY, DO ANY OF YOU KNOW
ANY OF THE BLACK KIDS?
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67. HELLO, STEP-MOTHER!
OH GOD!
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68. HOME FROM SCHOOL.
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69. YES, I CAN
SEE THAT, JERRI.
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70. WITH YOU, IT ALWAYS
COINCIDES WITH THE VEINS IN MY HEAD THROBBING.
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71. WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
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72. I GOT IT AT
A FLEA MARKET.
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73. I THOUGHT I'D PUT IT OUT FRONT
TO REPLACE THAT LAWN JOCKEY
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74. CIVIL RIGHTS WORKERS STOLE.
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75. GUESS WHAT?
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76. TWO-WEEK BREAK COMIN' UP AND
I'M NOT LEAVIN' THE HOUSE ONCE.
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77. AND ME AND DERRICK,
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78. SITTIN' ON THE COUCH
WATCHING TV, EATING,
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79. AND A LATE NIGHT SNACK
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80. WATCHING TV.
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81. THE TV CAN GET?
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82. YOU KNOW, IT SOUNDS
REALLY GRAND, JERRI,
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83. BUT I'VE ALREADY MADE PLANS
FOR YOUR HOLIDAY.
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84. I'VE ENROLLED YOU
IN CAMP.
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85. I'M NOT GOIN'
TO ANY CAMP.
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86. "REDISCOVER YOUR HERITAGE."
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87. THIS IS A CAMP FOR INDIANS,
I'M NOT AN INDIAN!
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88. TO TELL YOU, JERRI,
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89. AND I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD
TO THIS FOR WEEKS.
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90. PUT YOU UP FOR ADOPTION.
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91. YOU'RE A FULL-BLOODED
ARAMAPOO INDIAN.
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92. MYSTERIOUS BOX I'VE HAD SINCE I WAS A BABY?
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93. WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR IT IN YOUR ROOM.
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94. IT'S FROM YOUR
REAL MOTHER.
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95. YOU THIS SHOCKING NEWS
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96. SOME WEAK POINT,
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97. BEING HOME FOR TWO WEEKS
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98. TO TELL YOU RIGHT NOW.
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99. BIG DEAL, SOME TIMBER
AND A BLANKET, THIS DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING!
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100. WHETHER IT'S PROOF
OR NOT, DEAR,
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101. THAT CAMP TO FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR CULTURAL HERITAGE!
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102. I'M NOT ADOPTED AND
I'M NOT AN INDIAN!
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103. IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE
THAT I HAVE A LOVE OF GAMBLING AND BOOZE
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104. FOR CATCHING SYPHILIS!
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105. I'M NOT GOING TO ANY
INDIAN CAMP!
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106. DID YOU TELL HER?
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107. YUP.
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108. HOW'D SHE TAKE IT?
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109. LIKE AN INJUN.
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110.
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111. OH HEY, JERRI, I'M HUNGRY,
GOT ANY MAIZE?
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112.
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113. HEY, TOMAHAWK TEETH.
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114. HEY, CHIEF LARD ASS!
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115. ORLANDO!
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116. WHAT DO YOU WANT, JERRI?
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117. ORLANDO, EVERYBODY'S
BEING SO MEAN TO ME— ME!
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118. AND I DON'T
UNDERSTAND WHY.
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119. I CAN'T HELP YOU, JERRI,
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120. YOU UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL.
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121. BUT I'M NOT LIKE YOU,
I'M WHITE!
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122. ABOUT ME IS MY UNDERWEAR
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123. AND IT'S CREEPIN' UP
THE TRAIL.
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124. WHO YOU ARE!
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125. I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY WE'RE TALKING, WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE.
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126. ORLANDO!
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127. REALIZATION.
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128. NOW, WHERE DID
WE LEAVE OFF YESTERDAY?
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129. AH YES, THE RAPE OF
THE AMERICAN WEST
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130. BY...
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131. THE SOULLESS RED MAN.
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132. NOW, NO ONE'S
REALLY SURE
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133. WERE DOING TO THE BUFFALO,
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134. PRETTY DAMN SICK,
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135. BECAUSE MILLIONS
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136. COMMITTED SUICIDE
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137. OF THE WHITE MAN'S GUNS.
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138. IS AN INDIAN!
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139. I AM NOT!
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140. HEY, THIS'LL BE FUN,
LET'S HAVE A DEBATE.
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141. THE GODLESS SAVAGES
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142. WILL ATTACK JERRI.
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143. DON'T BE AFRAID TO GET PERSONAL,
THE OBJECTIVE IS TO WIN.
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144. OR RATHER,
TO ATTACK JERRI.
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145. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT INDIANS BECAUSE I'M NOT AN INDIAN!
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146. A CUNNINGLY SAVAGE DENIAL,
JERRI.
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147. ALL RIGHT,
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148. A PEACEFUL, NAPPING
GENERAL CUSTER
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149. BY BLOODTHIRSTY INDIANS
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150. A FAMILY CAMPING TRIP.
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151. DEFEND, ATTACK!
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152. AN AMERICAN HERO!
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153. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
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154. TO YOUR RESERVATION!
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155. CIGARETTES KILL PEOPLE!
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156. NO ARCH SUPPORT!
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157. I'M NOT AN INDIAN!
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158. WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!
C'MON!
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159. YOUR RESERVATION!
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160. I'M NOT!
AH!
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161. ATTACK, ATTACK!
WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!
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162. AH!
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163.
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164. I'M NOT AN INDIAN!
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165. CIRCLE YOUR DESKS,
SHE'S ON THE WARPATH!
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166. YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA
YA-YA-YA!
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167. YA-YA!
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168. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
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169. I'M SORRY, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CAME OVER ME.
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170. I SNAPPED.
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171. HEY, CAN I HAVE THAT
FOR MY LODGE POLE?
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172. JERRI, THIS IS SERIOUS.
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173. WE CAN'T HAVE OUR STUDENTS
GOING AROUND COMMITTING "SCALPACIDE" !
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174. NOW, YOUR STEPMOTHER
WANTS TO SEND YOU
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175. FOR REDSKINS.
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176. SO YOU HAVE A CHOICE:
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177. HOW TO BE A SOCIALIZED TOMAHAWK-CHOPPER,
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178. MY ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SUSPENSION BUFFET.
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179. WHICH IS IT?
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180. GUESS I'LL BE
GOIN' TO CAMP.
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181. GOOD, GET OUT!
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182. WITH ANY LUCK,
WE CAN HAVE THIS REATTACHED.
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183. HEY THERE, BROTHERS, WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!
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184. HA-HA,
RIGHT BACK AT YOU!
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185. HOW!
HI, BOB WHITELY.
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186. CULTURAL IMMERSION CAMP FOR ADOPTED INDIANS.
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187. IN ONE PLACE BEFORE?
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188. BETTING PARLOR.
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189. LIQUOR STORE!
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190. UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE.
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191. OTHER THAN THAT, NEVER.
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192. I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHY I'M HERE.
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193. EVERYBODY ELSE IS HERE.
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194. YOU'RE ALL FULL-BLOODED
NATIVE AMERICANS
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195. WHO DON'T KNOW SQUAT
ABOUT YOUR CULTURE.
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196. BUT I'M GONNA LEAD
YOU DOWN THE TRAIL
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197. OF YOUR HERITAGE!
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198. ARE YOU AN INDIAN?
NOPE.
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199. NOW, YOU'RE
IN TEEPEE 10.
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200. PAST THE WIGWAMS.
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201. I'LL MEET YOU
AT THE SWEAT LODGE.
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202. HI... I'M WENDELL.
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203. IS "TWO BEARS."
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204. I'M JERRI.
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205. STREET NAME...
SPREADUM THIGHS.
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206. MMM!
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207. ALL RIGHT, GANG,
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208. I'VE PLANNED SOME
INFORMATIVE CULTURAL ACTIVITIES FOR THIS AFTERNOON.
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209. YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN HERE
A COUPLE OF DAYS,
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210. AND I DON'T THINK I'VE LEARNED
THAT MUCH ABOUT MY CULTURE.
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211. LOOK, I'VE DONE
EXTENSIVE VIDEO RESEARCH ON YOUR CULTURE, MISTER,
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212. THAN ONE
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213. MR. JOHN "THE DUKE" WAYNE?
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214. YOU'VE GOT A RICH AND BEAUTIFUL
HERITAGE, ALL RIGHT?
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215. OKAY, LET'S GO ATTACK
A WAGON TRAIN, HUH?
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216. C'MON,
IT'LL BE EDUCATIONAL!
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217. LET'S GO!
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218. HI-HO!
WOO-WOO-WOO!
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219. HOW TO DO THAT?
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220. IT'S JUST A HAND MOTION
LIKE THIS AGAINST THE LIPS.
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221. WOO-WOO-WOO!
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222. OH MY GOD,
YOU SEE THAT?
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223. GIMME THAT!
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224.
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225. WHEN YOU'RE DEALING,
YOU DEAL LEFT TO RIGHT.
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226. ONE DOWN, ONE UP,
ONE DOWN, ONE UP.
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227. HERE, NOTHIN' HERE—
YEP, THERE IS SOMETHIN' HERE.
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228. OKAY, GERONIMO,
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
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229. HIT ME!
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230. YOU GOT IT!
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231. HEY, HEY, HEY!
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232. HE TOOK HIS HEAD RIGHT OFF.
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233. DEAD INDIAN!
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234. HE'S DRAGGED BY THE HORSE,
HE'S DRAGGED BY THE HORSE.
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235. AND HE'S DEAD.
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236. HE KILLED THE HORSE.
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237. WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
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238. OH, WE GOT THAT...
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239. MRS. BLANK.
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240. HOW'S JERRI
DOING AT CAMP?
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241. I'M JUST
A LITTLE WORRIED BECAUSE
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242. I HAVEN'T HEARD
FROM HER IN A WEEK.
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243. WELL, I GUESS SINCE WE
HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HER EITHER
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244. THAT SHE'S DECIDED TO LIVE WITH HER NATIVE PEOPLE.
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245. YES!
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246. MAYBE SHE'S JUST HAVING
TOO GOOD OF A TIME TO WRITE.
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247. COMING BACK.
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248. WHAT?
DERRICK?
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249. IT'S NOT
GONNA HAPPEN, MOM.
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250. BUT IT COULD!
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251. WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF?
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252. OH THOSE ARE JERRI'S THINGS,
WE'RE GIVING THEM TO CHARITY,
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253. AND THEN WE'RE TURNING
JERRI'S ROOM INTO A SMOKE HOUSE FOR DERRICK!
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254. I LOVE SMOKED MEAT!
I KNOW YOU DO, HONEY.
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255. UM, DO YOU MIND
IF I TAKE THIS WITH ME?
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256. MMM, SURE.
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257. UH, UM,
THAT'S A DOLLAR.
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258. THIS IS FUN!
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259. HA!
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260. ARE YOU HAVING FUN?
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261. I DON'T KNOW.
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262. AND EVERYTHING,
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263. BUT ALL THIS STUFF WE'RE
LEARNING SEEMS A LITTLE WRONG.
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264. YOU FEEL RIGHT.
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265. YES.
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266. I THINK THAT'S BECAUSE YOU
AND I HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
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267. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
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268. WELL, I'M AN INDIAN
AND ADOPTED, AND YOU...
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269. LOVING PALE-FACED PARENTS.
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270. IF YOU WEREN'T ADOPTED,
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271. DOING AT THIS CAMP?
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272. LOOK, I KNOW
I WASN'T ADOPTED,
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273. REMEMBER MY MOTHER.
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274. SHE'D GIVE ME BATHS,
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275. AND SHE'D CALL ME
HER LITTLE SQUAW.
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276. SHE'D STICK A FEATHER
IN MY HAIR
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277. THE ROOM, SINGING,
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278. LOOK, JERRI,
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
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279. I USED TO FEEL THE SAME WAY.
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280. SOMETHING FOR ME?
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281. WHAT MIGHT THAT BE,
MY BRAVE YOUNG BRAVE?
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282. I'M GOING TO THIS MEETING
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283. CHILDHOOD AND OUR HERITAGE.
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284. WOULD YOU COME?
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285. LEAD THE WAY, SCOUT.
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286.
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287. HOLD ON!
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288. BEEN SMOKED OUT.
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289. YEE!
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290. BEFORE THE POW WOW,
WHY DON'T WE, UH...
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291. SMOKE-A-DA PEACE PIPE.
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292. OH YEAH,
THAT IS GOOD STUFF.
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293. THAT'LL TAKE YOU
TO THE SPIRIT WORLD.
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294. DON'T BE SHY!
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295. DON'T BE SHY.
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296. ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW,
I'D LIKE TO SEE A LITTLE MORE CULTURAL ENTHUSIASM.
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297. SEEMS THAT BLANK'S
THE ONLY ONE THAT GETS IT.
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298. FINE, UM...
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299. CAN HAVE OUR CHAT.
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300. UH, WHY DON'T WE
START WITH YOU.
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301. WHY DON'T YOU TELL US
ABOUT YOUR RAGE AGAINST
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302. THE ROUND-EYED WHITE MAN?
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303. IT'S NOT A RAGE.
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304. I MEAN, I GET A LITTLE
FRUSTRATED SOMETIMES.
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305. Y'KNOW, OCCASIONALLY PEOPLE
WILL COME UP TO ME AND GO,
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306. "ARE YOU AN OGLALA SIOUX?"
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307. AND I'M LIKE,
"PLEASE, NO WAY!
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308. I'M LAKOTA SIOUX."
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309. RIGHT ON, BROTHER!
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310. JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND ME.
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311. SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA—
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312. PAINT YOUR FACE?
TORCH YOUR PARENTS' BEDROOM?
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313. NO, SIT DOWN
AND TALK WITH THEM.
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314. RIGHT, TALK.
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315. HOW 'BOUT YOU, JERRI?
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316. THE MOST?
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317. LOOK, I CAN'T DO THIS!
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318. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU
PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT.
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319. I'M NOT AN INDIAN,
ALL RIGHT?
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320. I MEAN, SURE, I HAVE A PROBLEM
WITH THE CONCEPT OF THE WHEEL,
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321. ALL RIGHT, BUT MY MOTHER
NEVER GAVE ME UP FOR ADOPTION!
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322. SHE'D NEVER DO THAT!
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323. NEVER!
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324. THAT'S AN $80 BONG.
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325. HOWDY, BROTHERS!
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326. JERRI! JERRI!
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327. OH, JERRI!
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328. WHO?
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329. OH, I'M SORRY, YOU LOOK
LIKE A FRIEND OF MINE.
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330. HEY, JERRI.
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331. ORLANDO!
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332. LONGY TIME NO SEEUM.
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333. TO COME UP HERE?
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334. LOOK, JERRI, I CAME HERE
FOR TWO REASONS.
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335. ONE, WE USED TO BE FRIENDS
AND THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME.
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336. TWO, I DON'T HAVE
ANY OTHER FRIENDS.
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337. THREE, I FOUND THIS BOX
AT YOUR HOUSE
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338. MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU NOW.
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339. I'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS
OBVIOUS LINK TO MY PAST
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340. ALL MY QUESTIONS.
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341. WELL, MAYBE ONE OF YOUR
NEW FRIENDS CAN HELP YOU UNDERSTAND IT.
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342. I HOPE YOU FIND WHAT YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR, JERRI.
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343. I MISS YOU.
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344. I MISS YOU.
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345. ORLANDO!
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346. MYSTERY.
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347. WENDELL!
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348.
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349. WENDELL, CAN I TALK TO
YOU FOR A SECOND?
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350. SOMETHING FROM YOU,
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351. FOR THE WAY I ACTED AT THE MEETING.
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352. I WAS WONDERIN' IF YOU COULD
USE YOUR "REDSKIN WAYS"
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353. THIS MEANS.
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354. NO, BUT I COULD USE
WHAT I LEARNED IN SMOKE SIGNAL CLASS.
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355. WHATEVER.
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356. I THINK IT'S
A MESSAGE, JERRI.
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357. I THINK IT'S
FROM YOUR MOTHER.
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358. "DEAR JERRI,"
THAT'S ME!
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359. "YOU ARE AN INDIAN."
WELL, THAT'S SETTLED.
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360. "IN ORDER TO OFFER YOU
A BETTER LIFE, I...
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361. FOR A PITCHER OF BEER."
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362. SEE, I KNEW SHE WOULDN'T
PUT ME UP FOR ADOPTION!
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363. SHE CONTINUES.
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364. "ANYWAY, I BETTER GO,
THAT BEER IS...
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365. "NOT GETTING ANY COLDER
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366. "AND I'VE GOT
SOME DRINKING TO DO.
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367. "GOOD LUCK,
LOVE...
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368. HEY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF
MY BEER, YOU SON OF A..."
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369. IT JUST FADES OUT THERE.
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370. BITCH! SHE WAS PROBABLY
GONNA SAY BITCH.
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371. PROBABLY.
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372. LOOK, HERE UNDER THE BIRCH
THERE'S A PHOTO!
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373. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!
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374. WELL, I GUESS I HAVE
NO CHOICE BUT TO ACCEPT THAT I AM AN INDIAN
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375. AND FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,
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376. GOVERNMENT FUNDING.
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377. THE TRIBE, JERRI!
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378. WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!
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379. OH YES!
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380. WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO...
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381. HEY, YOU SAVAGE!
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382. OUT OF ROOTS AND BERRIES!
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383. BOB, I THINK NOW THAT
I KNOW WHO I AM,
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384. IT'S TIME
FOR ME TO LEAVE.
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385. TEACHING ME ABOUT MY ROOTS.
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386. BEFORE I CAME HERE,
I THOUGHT INDIAN CULTURE HAD TO DO WITH ETHNIC PRIDE,
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387. FIGHTING FOR THE RETURN OF RIGHTFUL LANDS.
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388. THAT BEING AN INDIAN
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389. IS ABOUT SCALPING,
DRINKING AND GAMBLING!
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390. JERRI...
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391. A COUNSELOR IN THIS CAMP,
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392. I'LL HAVE A TOMAHAWK WAITING
WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.
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393. THANKS, KEMOSABE.
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394. SOUVENIR.
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395. REMEMBER THE ALAMO.
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396.
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397. AHH!
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398. WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING?
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399. LIKE A PILGRIM?
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400. IS THIS SOME SORT OF JOKE?
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401. MY INDIANS?
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402. GODDAMN IT!
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403. I SWEAR TO CHRIST, PEOPLE,
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404. GODDAMN TURKEY PAGEANT
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405. ARE SO GODDAMN SELFISH!
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406. MY INDIANS?
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407. I'LL BE YOUR INDIANS!
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408. THE DIGNITY THEY DESERVE!
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409. GET THIS SQUAW A PAPOOSE!
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410. I'VE GOT A SHOW
TO PUT ON!
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411. COME INTO MY CAMP,
MY SETTLER FRIEND.
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412. AND ALSO FROM MY CORNS.
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413. HOLD THIS.
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414. WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO
WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO...
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415. I'VE GOT YOU NOW,
MY PRETTY.
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416. CAN'T HELP YOU NOW.
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417. AND FEED YOU TO MY TRIBE!
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418. YOUR LILY-WHITE SKIN
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419. FROM YOUR BONES!
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420. LET THAT...
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421. LET THAT...
WOMAN GO!
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422. PEACE AND BROTHERHOOD.
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423. IF YOU LET HER GO,
WE WILL RETURN TO EUROPE AND NEVER RETURN.
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424. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
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425. WITH YOUR FIRE STICK.
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426. A FLESHY HOME
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427. FOR MY
SHINY STONE KNIFE!
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428. KILL HER, KILL HER...
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429. ONE LAST TIME, PLEASE!
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430. PROTECT ME, SATAN!
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431. OH.
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432.
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433. FEEL NO GUILT,
FOR I THANK THEE.
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434. PLEASE, QUICK, BRING ME
BIRCH BARK AND A QUILL.
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435. CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES—
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436. FOR ALL ETERNITY.
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437. FROM THE HANDS
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438. OF MY SAVAGE BROTHERS!
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439. OH, OH!
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440.
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441. BRAVO!
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442.
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