1.
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2. AW, THIS LOSER'S
GOIN' DOWN. YEAH, YEAH.
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3. ON HIS NOSTRIL.
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4.
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5.
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6. HEY CHUMAROONIES,
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7. THE "BLANKSTER".
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8. HEY, JERRI.
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9. KNOCK KNOCK.
WHO'S THERE?
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10. YOU'RE A
FAT UGLY PIG!
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11. CATCH YOU GUYS LATER.
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12.
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13. LADIES...
WHIPPETS!
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14. HEY, IS ANYONE KEEPIN'
A SEAT MOIST FOR ME?
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15. BEAT IT, DUMP.
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16. WE HATE YOU.
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17. GOOD ONE!
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18. FOR YOU.
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19. KNOCK KNOCK.
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20. WHO'S THERE?
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21. I'M A FAT UGLY PIG!
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22.
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23. YES, YES YOU ARE.
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24. YEAH, THANKS.
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25. HEY, JERRI!
OVER HERE!
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26.
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27. WE'RE WORKING ON
A DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS POSTER FOR THE TABLE.
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28. WE'RE RE-NAMING
OUR TABLE
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29. "THE HALL OF
THE GOLDEN DWARVES".
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30. GREAT, JERRI BLANK AND
HER THREE RING FREAKUS!
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31.
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32. MY LEG, OH.
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33. HELLO!
I'M JERRI BLANK.
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34. 32 YEARS AGO I DROPPED
OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL
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35. AND RAN AWAY FROM HOME.
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36. OH, I MADE
A LOT OF FRIENDS.
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37. DID A LOT OF TIME...
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38. I WAS A BOOZER...
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39. A USER...
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40. AND A LOSER...
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41. I STOLE THE T.V.--
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42. DID SOME MORE TIME.
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43. BUT NOW I'M
BACK IN SCHOOL!
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44. MAY HAVE CHANGED...
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45. JUST THE SAME.
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46. Captioning made possible by
COMEDY CENTRAL
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47. ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
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48.
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49. AS IT IS THE END OF
OUR SCHOOL YEAR,
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50. BE BEHOOVEY—
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51. MY FINAL LESSON
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52. TO TALK ABOUT "ESCHATOLOGY",
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53. OR "THE STUDY OF
THE END OF THINGS".
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54. NOW, I ASKED MY LOVER,
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55. MR. JELLINECK,
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56. TRANSPARENCIES...
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57. HE'S KIDDING,
WE'RE NOT LOVERS.
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58. WE JUST HAVE SEX.
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59. HOT, ASS-THUMPING SEX.
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60. C'MON, PEOPLE!
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61. I KNOW IT'S THE
LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL,
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62. BUT LET'S WAKE UP!
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63. I SPEAK,
YOU LISTEN.
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64. GIMME THAT,
GIVE ME THAT!
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65.
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66. LANCE, LIGHTS.
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67. OKAY, NOW,
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68. A PROFESSIONAL ARTIST
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69. HELPING US OUT TODAY.
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70. FIRST UP...
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71. ARMAGEDDON.
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72. WHAT IS THAT?
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73. ARMAGEDDON.
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74. NO, IT'S NOT.
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75. WHAT DO I CARE,
I'M A BUDDHIST.
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76. FRAN, YOU'RE LATE!
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77. AM I?
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78. MY EYE!
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79. THE WORLD EARLY?
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80. THAT WAS PRETTY COOL.
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81. FRAN, THAT WAS THE
COOLEST COMEBACK EVER.
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82. WE ARE SO COOL!
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83. YES, I AM.
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84. WHAT ABOUT ME?
I'M COOL.
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85. YOU'RE COOL
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86. IS THAT YOU'RE
A LITTLE SATELLITE
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87. PLANET FROSTY.
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88. SURFACE TEMPERATURE...
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89. "FRAN-INHEIT".
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90. IF I WASN'T
SO SHALLOW,
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91. DEEPLY INSULTED.
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92. ANYONE COOL.
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93. ANYONE?
ANYONE.
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94. WHAT ABOUT...
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95. OH, MY DEAR LORD.
AH—
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96. JERRI BLANK!
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97. SURE!
BRING IT ON.
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98. I'LL MAKE
JERRI BLANK
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99. SO COOL THAT...
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100. ASK HER OUT BY FRIDAY.
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101. ON IT.
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102. OKAY, FINE, SHUT UP, SHUT UP.
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103. LANCE, LIGHTS!
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104. WELL, THESE
WERE USELESS!
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105. I GUESS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
ARTISTIC INTERPRETATION!
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106. I UNDERSTAND CRAP!
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107. ALL RIGHT, GET OUT,
CLASS IS OVER.
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108. THE BELL DIDN'T
EVEN RING.
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109. BRRRIIINNG!
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110. BRRRRRRRRRIINNG!
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111. HILLARY, LEE.
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112. WHY ALL
THE FORMALITIES?
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113. I'VE ALWAYS HAD
A GOOD RELATIONSHIP
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114. THE SCHOOL BOARD.
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115. LOOK, ONYX,
NUMBERS DON'T LIE.
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116. THIS SCHOOL JUST ISN'T
TURNING A PROFIT.
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117. BUT IT'S A PUBLIC SCHOOL!
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118. CORPORATION,
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119. AND THEY MAKE MONEY.
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120. WELL, WHAT CAN I DO?
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121. OH ONYX, NOW
NOBODY SAID ANYTHING
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122. THE SCHOOL. OH NO! nic cackle )
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123. CLOSE MY SCHOOL?
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124. LOOK, HILLARY,
IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
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125. THE SCHOOL IS HERE.
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126. MAYBE WE CAN PROMOTE IT!
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127. COSTS MONEY,
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128. WE WANNA MAKE MONEY.
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129. MY SCHOOL!
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130.
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131. I'M INSULTED.
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132. CLOSE THE SCHOOL,
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133. INTO A STRIP MALL,
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134. DON'T YOU THINK
WE'D TELL YOU?
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135. YOU'RE RIGHT,
I GOT SPOOKED.
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136. HA HA HA, BOO!
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137. WHY DON'T WE
CHANGE GEARS,
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138. FOR NEXT YEAR...
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139. YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T WORRY
SO MUCH ABOUT NEXT YEAR.
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140. YEAH, I WOULD
JUST FOCUS ON
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141. OF THIS YEAR.
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142. TRY TO ENJOY YOURSELF,
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143. TO EVERYBODY.
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144. LEE.
HILL.
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145. MY SCHOOL!
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146. HOW'S ORLANDO'S EYE?
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147. THE EYEBALL'S FINE.
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148. IT'S THE GETTING IT
BACK IN THE SKULL
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149. THEY'RE HAVING
TROUBLE WITH.
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150. GOD, I SURE
LIKE FIREWORKS.
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151. THEY'RE LOUD.
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152. DON'T FORGET,
JERRI,
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153. WE'RE PLAYING DUNGEONS
AND DRAGONS TOMORROW.
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154. DEATH TO THE GOBLINS!
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155.
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156. HI, JERRI.
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157. Y-Y-YA TALKIN' TO ME?
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158. YEP.
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159. I'M GUESSING
THIS IS A DREAM.
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160. IS, UH,
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161. YOU'RE NOT NAKED AND
TIED TO A RADIATOR.
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162. THIS IS NO DREAM, JERRI.
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163. I WAS HOPIN'
WE COULD HANG OUT.
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164. WHERE YOU HEADED?
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165. I WAS JUST WALKIN'
OVER TO, UH,
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166. ANYWHERE YOU WANNA GO.
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167. GREAT, MAYBE WE COULD
GO OVER TO YOUR HOUSE
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168. A LITTLE BIT,
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169. YOUR CONFIDENCE
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170. AN UGLY LUMP OF CLAY.
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171. THAT SOUNDS GREAT!
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172. HELLO, MOTHER.
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173. WHAT'S GOIN' ON,
ARE WE MOVING?
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174. OH JERRI, DON'T YOU
THINK IF WE WERE MOVING
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175. I WOULD TELL YOU?
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176. OH RIGHT, ANYWAY,
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177. THIS IS MY NEW,
SUPER COOL,
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178. POPULAR FRIEND, FRAN.
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179. OOH! ACTUALLY I'M
HER STEP-MOTHER.
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180. SINCE YOU'RE SO POPULAR,
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181. I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO THINK
SHE SLITHERED OUT OF MY WOMB.
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182. MOM, THE MOVERS
JUST CALLED...
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183. UH, FRAN, YOU LOOK LIKE
EXCELLENT, BREEDING STOCK.
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184. IN MY SON, DERRICK?
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185. I DON'T THINK SO.
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186. MAY I ASK WHY?
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187. HELLO, DERRICK.
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188. PRETTY GIRL.
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189. PRETTY GIRL?
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190. THAT'S WHY.
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191. HOW'S IT TASTE,
MOTHER,
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192. OF YOUR TWO CHILDREN?
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193. CAN DEFROST ME!
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194. C'MON, FRAN.
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195. BY THE WAY, JERRI,
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196. WIPE YOUR ASS
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197. ON OUR BATHROOM TOWELS?
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198. GRACIAS, PERDON POR FAVOR.
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199. WITH AN ANSWER,
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200. LET ME GET
THIS STRAIGHT.
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201. YOU'RE ASKING ME IF I WIPED
MY ASS ON THE TOWELS?
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202. YES, JERRI.
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203. "HUEVOS MAS GRANDES"
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204. LIKE SOME FILTHY ANIMAL
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205. COOL FRIEND FRAN?
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206. DID YOU DO IT?
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207. YES...
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208. I WAS IN A HURRY.
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209.
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210. WOW, JERRI.
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211. YOUR ROOM IS SO...
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212. GROTESQUE.
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213. THANKS.
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214. UH...
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215. SERIAL KILLER'S CRAWL SPACE.
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216. TO SAY.
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217.
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218. HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA...
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219. LET'S DO
SOMETHING GIRLY.
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220. WHY DON'T I GRAB
SOME NAIL POLISH
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221. EACH OTHERS, UH...
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222. CLITORISES.
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223. LOOK, JERRI...
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224. WHY DON'T WE PLAY
A LITTLE GAME INSTEAD.
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225. GAMES!
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226. HERE ARE THE RULES,
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227. YOU DO
WHATEVER I SAY,
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228. YOURSELF OR YOUR LOVED ONES,
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229. AND I'LL TRY TO KEEP
MY LUNCH DOWN, SOUND FUN?
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230. FUN!
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231. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO GO ON A DIET.
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232. DIET!
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233. SECONDLY, GET RID OF
EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR.
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234. AND WHILE YOU'RE DOING THAT,
I'M GONNA GO HOME AND...
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235. DE-CONTAMINATE.
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236. HEY, FRAN,
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237. THANKS FOR BEIN'
MY FRIEND.
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238.
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239. UH, MAY I?
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240. OH OF COURSE...
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241. IT'S THE ONLY PICTURE I HAVE
LEFT OF MY DEAD DADDY.
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242. TER-R-IBLY.
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243. HEY, UH, FRAN,
MAYBE TOMORROW WE CAN HANG OUT
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244. WITH MY BUDDIES!
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245. OH, PERFECT!
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246. THAT'LL BE A GREAT TIME
TO DITCH THEM FOREVER.
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247. BUT-BUT THEY'RE
MY FRIENDS!
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248. I'M YOUR FRIENDS
NOW, JERRI.
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249. TELL THEM GOOD-BYE.
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250.
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251.
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252. OOH, SAUSAGE FINGERS!
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253. DIET, JERRI,
C'MON.
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254. LOOK AT THOSE LOSERS.
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255. LOSERS? THEY'RE PLAYING
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS!
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256. SNIP, SNIP, JERRI.
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257. CHOP, CHOP.
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258. "YOU HEAD INTO
THE HILLS
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259. THE DWARVAN LORD..."
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260. GUYS, S'UP?
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261. HALL OF THE FROST GIANT KING.
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262. BUT, I FOUND
A VORPAL SWORD,
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263. AND NOW I'M A 12th-LEVEL
WIZARD KING!
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264. OH, NOW YOU CAN SLAUGHTER
ALL THE GNOMES!
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265. C'MON JERRI,
SIT DOWN AND PLAY.
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266.
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267. OH...
THE THING IS,
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268. HERE'S THE
FUNNY THING—
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269. I'M GONNA BE DROPPIN'
Y'ALL AS FRIENDS.
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270. WHAT?
TALKING ABOUT?
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271. I'M RUNNING WITH A DIFFERENT,
COOLER CROWD NOW.
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272. I'D INVITE YOU TO
COME ALONG,
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273. BUT I'M AFRAID YOU
MIGHT GET FROSTBITE.
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274. BUT JERRI—
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275. WE'RE YOUR
ONLY FRIENDS.
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276. ONLY FRIENDS.
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277. WOULD NEVER TALK TO ME?
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278. WELL, I'M ONE OF THEM NOW.
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279. I'M SORRY FOR
HURTING YOU.
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280. EH, WOULD YOU DO ME
A FAVOR AND PASS ALONG THE HURT TO ORLANDO
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281. THE EYE RE-ATTACHMENT CENTER?
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282.
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283. BOY, SURE IS HARD TO
BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS!
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284. MMMMM!
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285. TRUST ME, JERRI, YOU DID
THE RIGHT-WRONG THING.
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286. LET'S GO
CELEBRATE TOGETHER,
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287. ALONE.
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288. WITHOUT EACH OTHER.
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289. SEE YA.
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290. GAIN WAY!
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291. RUN AWAY TEACHER!
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292. WHOOOO! WATCH YOUR TOES!
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293. IS A HOOT!
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294. GOD, YOU'RE LUCKY!
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295. WHOOPS,
LOOK AT THE TIME.
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296. BACK TO CLASS.
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297. ALL ABOARD!
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298. WOO WOO!
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299. HEY, I HOPE YOU FINISHED
YOUR CHARCOAL AND...
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300.
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301. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
THIS IS MY CLASSROOM!
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302. SOME, UH...
GENERAL IMPROVEMENTS.
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303. WELL, COULDN'T IT WAIT
UNTIL MY CLASS WAS OVER?
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304. WE'RE ON
A TIGHT SCHEDULE.
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305. WE'VE GOT A GRAND
OPENING ON FRIDAY.
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306. OF WHAT?
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307. THE IMPROVEMENTS?
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308. WE'LL SEE ABOUT THIS!
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309. LOOK SHARP!
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310. YOU'RE IN
BIG TROUBLE, MISTER!
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311. AND THEN, IT JUST
POPPED BACK IN.
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312. THERE WERE SO GOOD...
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313. BACK IN. IT POPPED BACK IN.
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314.
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315.
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316. DID YOU SEE THAT?
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317. IN THE NOGGIN' !
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318. A TEN-DOLLAR WHORE!
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319. OH, ORLANDO.
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320. BRENT WAS COOL.
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321. HIS GIRLFRIEND?
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322. I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE
I SHOULD HIT THE CRAPPER
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323. ON WHAT'S GONE SOUR.
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324. LOOK, JERRI,
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325. AS LONG AS YOU'RE WITH ME,
YOU'LL NEVER GO BAD,
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326. 'CAUSE I'VE GOT YOU
STORED IN MY CRISPER,
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327. AND THE "RE-FRAN-GERATOR"
IS ALWAYS DIALED UP TO 9.
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328. HEY, BRENT.
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329. HEY, FRAN.
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330. DETACHED TODAY.
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331. THANKS, I SEE YOU'RE
GOING FOR ALOOF.
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332. NICELY DONE.
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333. THANKS.
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334. MY NEW FRIEND?
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335. NO, WHERE IS SHE?
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336. RIGHT HERE.
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337. OH... YEAH.
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338. HEY.
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339. S'UP?
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340. SO, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF HER?
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341. THINK OF WHO?
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342. JERRI.
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343. WHO'S HE?
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344. OH YEAH... HEY.
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345.
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346. FRAN BACK.
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347. AH!
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348. BRENT, C'MON, WE'RE GOIN' TO THE ROOF!
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349. WE'LL TALK TO YOU
LATER, BRENT.
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350. AY-AIGHT.
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351. I'LL NEVER
BE COOL!
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352. DON'T WORRY JERRI,
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353. COOL STARTS HERE.
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354. IN THE HEART?
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355. NO, WITH ME.
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356. LOOK, YOUR FREEZING POINT
IS WAY LOWER THAN I THOUGHT.
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357. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
MOVE ON TO STAGE TWO.
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358. IRIS?
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359. IRIS!
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360. WHERE'D YOU GET
THAT STICKY BUN?
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361. AT THE STICKY BUNNERY.
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362. THAT'S COACH WOLF'S CLASS!
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363. THAT'S COACH WOLF!
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364. STICKY BUNNERY.
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365. "BITE MY BUNS,
I NEED YOUR DOUGH."
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366. HOW MAY I SERVE YOU?
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367. COACH WOLF,
WHAT'S THE "DEALIE-YO" ?
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368. I SAY ONYX?
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369. THE PAY'S BETTER,
AND THEY'VE GOT CHILD CARE.
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370. CHILD CARE,
THAT'S MADNESS!
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371. A PROBLEM HERE?
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372. CASSIE,
WHAT'S HAPPENING?
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373. WHAT'S HAPPENING?
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374. WHAT'S HAPPENING IS
WE'RE NOT MOVING ANY BUNS!
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375. I DEMAND—
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376. LOOK, DO YOU WANT
A BUN OR NOT?
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377. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
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378. BAKER'S DOZEN.
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379. HILLARY, LEE,
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380. OUR HIGH SCHOOL?
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381. IT JUST DOESN'T
MAKE ANY SENSE!
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382. YEAH, BUT IT DOES MAKES SENSE
IN A STRIP MALL.
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383. SO YOU ARE
CLOSING MY SCHOOL!
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384. ONYX, WHERE ARE YOU
GETTING THIS?
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385. INTO THIS NEXT STATEMENT:
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386. WE'LL NEED YOU TO
CLEAN OUT YOUR OFFICE.
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387. WE'LL SEE ABOUT THIS!
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388. OH, WELCOME TO
THE DRY CLEANERIE.
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389. MAY I HELP YOU?
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390.
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391. JUST NOT COMING OFF. GOD, SERIOUSLY.
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392. WE'LL NEED A SHOVEL
FOR HER NOSE HAIR.
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393. STILL!
STILL!
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394. STEADY!
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395. UGGHH!
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396. TO BE TAKING.
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397. LET'S GO BACK IN.
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398. IT'S ALL THIS GREASE.
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399. A CHICKEN WING.
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400. OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.
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401. OH MY GOD!
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402. WON'T LET GO.
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403. WHY ARE YOU
FIGHTING US, JERRI?
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404. LET GO, JERRI!
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405. THE COOL SIDE!
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406. YAAAAAAAAAAAA!
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407. HEY, SEXY!
HEY MAMA!
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408. YOU LIKE, SENOR?
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409.
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410. SEEMS WEIRD DRESSING UP
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411. WITHOUT JERRI.
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412. A GOOD HOMUNCULUS.
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413. YEAH, I SURE
MISS HER.
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414. YOU TWO,
BETTER CHEER UP,
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415. OR I'LL SPLASH YOU WITH
ENCHANTED NECTAR
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416. WIZARD'S POND!
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417. OW, OW!
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418. AS YOUR CHARACTERS!
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419. I COULD'VE WORN
MY HORN AND HUMP!
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420. SHOULDN'T YOU BE WITH
YOUR NEW FRIENDS, JERRI?
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421. OH, THAT'S RIGHT,
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422. A BUNCH OF... LOSERS.
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423. JERRI, WHY DO YOU LOOK
SO... WEIRD?
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424. A MAKEOVER!
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425. YOU LIKE IT?
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426. THE OLD JERRI.
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427. JERRI, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST
BE YOURSELF, LIKE US?
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428. WHY DO YOU
HAVE TO PRETEND?
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429. WOW, JERRI!
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430. IF I DIDN'T
KNOW BETTER,
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431. I'D THINK I WAS LOOKING
INTO A MIRROR
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432. HIDEOUSLY DISTORTED.
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433. THANKS, FRAN.
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434. THERE'S BRENT...
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435. I BET HE'S GOT SOMETHING
HE WANTS TO ASK YOU.
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436. JERRI, STAY WITH US.
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437. PULL,
KEEP PULLING!
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438. TORN!
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439. OPEN UP! OPEN UP!
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440. A STICKY-BUN STAIN!
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441. PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN!
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442. PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN!
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443. GO AWAY, THE PRINCIPAL'S NOT HERE!
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444. YOU CERTAINLY WON'T
TAKE HIM ALIVE!
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445. IT'S NOBLET
AND JELLINECK!
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446. HAPPENING TO THE SCHOOL?
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447. NOBLET.
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448. WHERE'D YOU GET
THAT CORN DOG?
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449. DOWN THE HALL.
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450.
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451.
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452. COME INSIDE.
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453. HELP REAPING
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454. WHAT OTHERS HAVE SOWN.
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455. JERRI, YOU HAVE TO
COME TALK TO BRENT
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456. REJECTS YOUR FACE.
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457. LET'S ALL BE FRIEJERRI!
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458. OUCH!
THERE'S PLENTY OF STUFF WE CAN DO TOGETHER!
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459. WHY CAN'T WE ALL
JUST GET ALONG?
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460. NO, WE CAN'T!
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461. JERRI, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO CHOOSE
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462. BE UNCOOL IN LOSER LAND,
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463. INTO "FRAN-TARCTICA".
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464. AHHHHHHHH!
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465. GIMME THOSE.
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466. I JUST REALIZED THAT...
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467. I'M NOT BEING
TRUE TO MYSELF.
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468. FRAN...
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469. I WON'T GO
WITH YOU.
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470. BECAUSE I'D RATHER BE
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471. WITH AVERAGE FRIENDS
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472. AND BEAUTIFUL
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473. BETTER THAN MY OLD ONES.
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474. I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S
JUST THE WAY I FEEL!
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475. I'M COOLER THAN YOU,
"FRANTIC",
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476. KNOW WHY?
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477. BECAUSE I'M NOT.
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478. THINK ABOUT IT,
I HAVEN'T.
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479. ONE THING, JERRI BLANK.
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480. HOW'D YOU GET
SUCH A BIG HEART?
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481. KAZA-KAZA-WA?
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482. YOU ARE COOLER THAN ME.
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483. I DON'T TREAT
PEOPLE VERY WELL,
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484. AND THAT'S NOT VERY COOL.
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485. SO IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE ME,
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486. LEARNING TO DO.
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487. I'M GOING TO GO LIVE IN
THE GUTTER FOR 32 YEARS
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488. WHAT MAKES YOU TICK.
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489. WELL I'M OFF
TO BE A WHORE!
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490. SHE'S GONNA MAKE
A CHUNK OF CHANGE.
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491. OH, FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE
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492. I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION!
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493. AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE
OF FLATPOINT HIGH.
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494. FLATPOINT FOREVER!
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495. I MISSED YOU GUYS!
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496. IT IS OVER!
THE END OF ALL THINGS!
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497. THE DAY OF WRATH,
LONG FORETOLD.
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498. HAS BEEN STRUCK
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499. SHALL BE SCATTERED!
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500. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
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501. CAN I SAY IT?
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502. THEY'VE TURNED THE SCHOOL
INTO A STRIP MALL.
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503. IT'S OVER!
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504. KICK 'EM, DONKS!
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505.
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506. SWEET BABY JESUS,
WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING?
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507. ONYX!
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508. INTO A STRIP MALL NOW!
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509. HA HA HA!
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510. WE WEREN'T GOING TO TURN IT
INTO A STRIP MALL!
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511. WE WEREN'T?
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512. YEAH, WE WERE.
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513. GET IN THERE, GET IN!
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514. YOU'LL BE SAFE
IN THERE!
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515. HURRY UP!
GET YOUR MONKEY ASS OUT!
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516. C'MON, GET OUT...
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517. JERRI!
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518.
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519.
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520.
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521.
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522. FLAMING STICKY BUNS.
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523. SENT A MESSAGE,
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524. AND WE'LL BE SHOUTING
THAT MESSAGE,
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525. JAIL CELLS.
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526. JAIL, WHAT DO YOU
MEAN "JAIL" ?
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527. WELL, WE DID BURN DOWN
A SCHOOL AND...
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528. KILL A FEW PEOPLE.
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529. OH YEAH,
WE'RE GOIN' TO JAIL.
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530. I DON'T THINK
SO BOYS!
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531. YOU'RE COMIN'
WITH ME.
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532. BACK TO THE STREETS
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533. WHERE WE'LL FIGHT LIKE
DOGS FOR SCRAPS OF FOOD
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534. AND WE'LL SELL
OUR BODIES FOR SMACK.
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535. BEATS TEACHIN'.
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536. STUPID, JUNKIE WHORE!
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537.
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538. I CAN'T RUN
IN THESE SHOES!
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539.
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540.
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541. Captions made possible by
COMEDY CENTRAL
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542. Captioned by
Soundwriters™
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