Strangers with Candy 2x7

Directed by Peter Lauer

Deborah Rush as Sara Blank • Larc Spies as Derrick Blank • Orlando Pabotoy as Orlando Pinatubo • Maria Christina Thayer as Tammi Littlenut • Bebe Neuwirth as Bebe Neuwirth

Coach Wolf assigns marriages for her students for a class project. Jerri get paired up with Ronnie Leggett. After Jerri finds problems with her new “marriage,” she learns that it is not as easy as she thought it will be. Will Jerri be able to save her “marriage” and her grade?

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. THIS IS CALLED TROWELING.

2. UNUSUAL?

3. UNDOUBTEDLY.

4. UNSANITARY?

5. OH, HECK YEAH.

6. BUT IT'S THE KIND OF COMPROMISE THAT KEEPS A MARRIAGE HEALTHY.

7. ANY QUESTIONS?

8. HM, 18— IMPRESSIVE.

9. A NEW RECORD.

10. OKAY, MOVING ON.

11. NOW, IN ORDER FOR YOU EACH TO LEARN

12. THE JOYS AND HARDSHIPS OF BEING IN A MARRIAGE,

13. FOR THE NEXT WEEK, YOU WILL BE PAIRED OFF WITH EACH OTHER

14. IN PRETEND MARRIAGES.

15. OH, ISN'T THIS GREAT, JERRI?

16. I WONDER WHO WE'LL GET.

17. GAWD, THE LAST THING I NEED IS TO BE TIED DOWN.

18. I NEED TO STAY LOOSE, STAY ON THE PROWL.

19. THIS WOLF NEEDS TO ROAM.

20. JERRI BLANK AND RONNIE LEGGETT.

21. RONNIE LEGGETT?

22. NICE BASKET.

23. TAMMI AND JIMMY.

24. OKAY, DID I MISS ANYBODY?

25. ORLANDO, HM.

26. LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE AN ODD NUMBER OF STUDENTS.

27. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T WE MAKE YOU A WIDOWER?

28. YOUR WIFE DROWNED IN A FIRE.

29. I THOUGHT IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU HAD A MODEL MARRIAGE TO FOLLOW,

30. SO MR. JELLINECK HAS GRACIOUSLY AGREED

31. TO VOLUNTEER HIS TIME

32. AND BE MY PSEUDO-HUSBAND THIS WEEK.

33. HEY, KIDS.

34. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M GONNA ENJOY SETTLING DOWN.

35. YOU KNOW, SPENDING TIME ON THE WEEKENDS

36. WEEDING THE PACHYSANDRA.

37. SO HERE'S THE DEAL.

38. YOU HAVE TO BE MARRIED ONE WEEK.

39. IF YOUR MARRIAGE FAILS, YOU FAIL.

40. SO AVOID DIVORCE AT ALL COSTS.

41. PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN WILL PRESIDE

42. OVER A QUICK CEREMONY.

43. ALL RISE.

44. WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY

45. TO JOIN THESE PRETEND COUPLES IN FAKE MATRIMONY.

46. BY THE FALSE POWER VESTED IN THE VERY REAL ME,

47. I ANNOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE.

48. OH, AND ORLANDO, I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR WIFE.

49. ( bell rings )

50. CLASS DISMISSED.

51. HEY THERE.

52. I HEAR YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS TIED THE KNOT TODAY.

53. THAT'S RIGHT, 'TIL DEATH DO US PART.

54. OR AT LEAST 'TIL NEXT MONDAY.

55. ( laughing )

56. SO YOU HAVE ANY BIG PLANS FOR THE HONEYMOON?

57. YEAH, YEAH, WE DO.

58. IT'S STRAIGHT TO THE MOTEL,

59. THEN A "DO NOT DISTURB" SIGN GOES UP.

60. OH... NAUGHTY.

61. SERIOUSLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

62. OH, CHUCK, QUIT YOUR TEASING.

63. WE JUST WANNA SHOW THE STUDENTS

64. WHAT A GOOD MARRIAGE IS LIKE, LIKE YOU AND CLAIRE.

65. WHO?

66. YOUR WIFE.

67. RIGHT.

68. HEY, I GOT YOU A LITTLE WEDDING PRESENT.

69. A BUCK KNIFE!

70. IT'S ACTUALLY FOR OUR BIG HUNTING TRIP THIS WEEKEND.

71. IF THAT'S OKAY WITH THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN!

72. WAIT A MINUTE— WEEKEND?

73. LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY FORGOT TO RUN SOMETHING BY THE MISSIS.

74. I'M IN TROUBLE!

75. STOP IT, YOU TWO.

76. I LIKE THIS.

77. THIS IS FUN!

78. DO YOU LIKE THIS? YEAH, I DO.

79. OKAY, I'M GONNA GO.

80. HEY, DON'T FORGET ABOUT THE... CHK-CHK, POW...

81. HUNTING TRIP.

82. HELLO, I'M JERRI BLANK.

83. 32 YEARS AGO I DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL

84. AND RAN AWAY FROM HOME.

85. OH, I MADE A LOT OF FRIENDS,

86. DID A LOT OF TIME.

87. I WAS A BOOZER, A USER, AND A LOSER.

88. I STOLE THE TV.

89. DID SOME MORE TIME.

90. BUT NOW I'M BACK IN SCHOOL!

91. AND THOUGH THE FACES MAY HAVE CHANGED...

92. THE HASSLES ARE JUST THE SAME.

93. OKAY, JERRI, LET'S FIGURE OUT OUR HOUSEHOLD BUDGET.

94. BUDGET?

95. COME ON!

96. WE'LL PUT A BOWL OF MONEY BY THE DOOR.

97. TAKE WHAT YOU NEED, LEAVE WHAT YOU HAVE.

98. IT'S LIKE A COMMUNE.

99. FREE LOVE.

100. SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHEN ARE WE GONNA MAKE THIS THING LEGIT?

101. CHECK UNDER YOUR HOOD AND SEE HOW THAT PISTON FIRES, HM?

102. SEE?

103. JERRI, MARRIAGE IS A LOT OF WORK.

104. WE HAVE TO PLAN FOR A HOUSE, PLAN FOR A BABY.

105. BABIES COST A LOT OF MONEY. WHAT?

106. BABIES DON'T COST MONEY.

107. THEY MAKE MONEY.

108. ESPECIALLY THOSE LITTLE WHITE ONES.

109. LOOK, YOU HAVE TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.

110. OR WHAT, HUH?

111. YOU'RE GONNA HIT ME, YOU WANNA TAKE A POKE AT ME?

112. NO, I'M NOT GONNA HIT YOU, JERRI.

113. YOU DON'T WANNA BEAT ME OR SCREW ME?

114. WHAT KIND OF MARRIAGE IS THIS?

115. BRING A BOOK!

116. JERRI, I DON'T WANNA GET AN "F", OKAY?

117. JUST... TALK TO ME WHEN YOU'RE READY TO WORK.

118. YEAH, SEE YA, KILLJOY.

119. ME AND TAMMI WERE JUST CHOOSING SOME PRETEND COLORS

120. FOR OUR FAKE HOUSE.

121. HOW'S YOUR MARRIAGE GOING, JERRI?

122. WHERE'S RONNIE?

123. HE SPLIT.

124. THAT SQUARE'S ALL SHAKE AND SEEDS.

125. THIS MARRIAGE IS FOR CHUMPS.

126. THIS IS IMPORTANT, JERRI.

127. WHO CARES?

128. IT'S JUST A FAKE MARRIAGE.

129. NO, JERRI, IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

130. THIS MARRIAGE WILL GIVE YOU THE TOOLS YOU NEED

131. TO MAKE A REAL MARRIAGE WORK.

132. BUT...

133. IF YOU CAN'T MAKE A PRETEND MARRIAGE WORK

134. WITH AN ASSIGNED SPOUSE

135. WHO DOESN'T LOVE YOU AND WHOM YOU HARDLY KNOW,

136. HOW CAN YOU EXPECT TO MAKE A REAL ONE WORK?

137. YOU DON'T WANNA END UP A LONELY OLD MAID, JERRI.

138. ALL ALONE.

139. TWO OF YA.

140. WOO!

141. STRIKE-A-ROONIE!

142. WOO!

143. GOD, I WISH I HAD YOUR HOOK.

144. WELL, LET THE BIG BOSS SHOW YOU HOW.

145. JUST COCK THOSE HIPS BACK,

146. TAKE THIS ARM OUT OF PLAY, AND HEAD POSITION.

147. ALL RIGHT, HOW'S THAT FEEL?

148. OH, THAT'S NICE.

149. THAT FEEL GOOD? MMM.

150. SO HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH CHERRI?

151. THIS WHOLE ASSIGNMENT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING OUT A BIT.

152. Y'KNOW, BEING A CONFIRMED BACHELOR AND ALL.

153. HEY, WOMEN ARE POISON.

154. EVERY LAST ONE OF 'EM.

155. ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT STRANGE ALL NIGHT,

156. OR ARE WE GONNA BOWL?

157. LET'S SHOOT OUT THIS LAST FRAME

158. AND GET OURSELVES ANOTHER ROUND OF BREWSKIES.

159. I CAN'T, I'VE GOTTA HOOK UP WITH CHERRI LATER.

160. WHAT?

161. Y'KNOW, WE GOTTA GO OVER THE BUDGET TONIGHT.

162. WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GRAND OLD TIME.

163. I DON'T KNOW.

164. Y'KNOW, THIS WHOLE MARRIAGE THING IS KINDA FUN.

165. YOU MUST HAVE A LOT OF FUN WITH YOUR WIFE, RIGHT?

166. YEAH, IT'S A REAL CHUCKLEFEST.

167. HEY, I GOTTA RUN.

168. GEOFFREY. CHERRI'S WAITING.

169. GEOFFREY!

170. HYUGH!

171. ( crash )

172. HOME FROM SCHOOL.

173. GODDAMN IT!

174. EVERY TIME WE GET STARTED, SARA.

175. EVERY TIME!

176. NO, NO, NO... DON'T OVERHEAT, STEW.

177. JUST TELL ME WHEN SHE'S GONE.

178. I GOTTA TAKE A DUMP.

179. OH, MUST HAVE BEEN ALL THAT BEEF, STEW.

180. THANKS A LOT FOR RUINING MY DATE, JERRI.

181. CAN I TALK TO YOU, SINGLE GIRL TO SINGLE GIRL?

182. SURE, AS LONG AS I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN.

183. ARE YOU GLAD THAT YOU'RE NOT ATTACHED?

184. I MEAN, YOU WOULDN'T WANNA BE MARRIED AGAIN, WOULD YOU?

185. OH, DESPERATELY, JERRI.

186. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LONELY MY NIGHTS HAVE BECOME.

187. THE SOONER STEW POPS THE QUESTION THE BETTER.

188. OH, BOY, I CAN'T WAIT TO BE FILLED UP WITH HIS BABIES.

189. YOU WANNA HAVE ANOTHER BABY?

190. OH, YES.

191. MY ONLY REGRET IN LIFE IS THAT I ONLY HAD ONE CHILD,

192. AND YET I LIVE WITH TWO.

193. FALSE ALARM.

194. SO WHAT ARE YOU LADIES TALKING ABOUT?

195. MARRIAGE. MARRIAGE.

196. AH, MARRIAGE.

197. THE MOST SACRED COVENANT

198. THAT EXISTS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.

199. WHICH REMINDS ME...

200. YES?

201. I HAVE TO GET GOING HOME.

202. I PROMISED MY WIFE I'D GIVE THE KIDS A BATH TONIGHT.

203. SEE, JERRI?

204. SEE HOW IMPORTANT MARRIAGE IS?

205. WELL, IF IT'S NOT THE FUTURE SPINSTER.

206. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, FAGGOTTESS,

207. I HAVE A WHOLE NEW OUTLOOK ON— OH, HEY!

208. THERE'S MY BE-THROTTLED.

209. BOO!

210. RONNIE, I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

211. JERRI? OH, PLEASE.

212. I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT "F".

213. AND COMPARED WITH BEING IN A FAKE MARRIAGE WITH YOU,

214. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT "F".

215. RONSTENS, BABY!

216. WHERE'S THIS COMING FROM?

217. LOOK, I KNOW I'VE BEEN TOUGH ON YOU

218. DURING OUR PRETEND MARRIAGE,

219. BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I PRETEND LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

220. BUT PEOPLE CAN CHANGE!

221. AND I KNOW IF YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE,

222. I CAN MAKE YOU CHANGE.

223. I DON'T KNOW, JERRI—

224. HONEY, PLEASE!

225. PLEASE DON'T TAKE AWAY THE TOOLS I NEED TO LEARN

226. SO I WON'T END UP ALONE.

227. ME, ALONE!

228. MAYBE— TRADE YOU LUNCH.

229. GOTTA KEEP MY HUBBY HEALTHY WITH SOME FIRM STOOLIES.

230. THANKS.

231. AND I BROUGHT YOU A PICTURE OF ME TO PUT IN YOUR LOCKER.

232. THANKS.

233. I'LL TRY TO FIND A PLACE FOR THAT.

234. THAT'S MY RONNIE.

235. I UNDERSTAND SOME OF YOU ARE HAVING TROUBLE

236. WITH YOUR BUDGETS, SO MY HUSBAND AND I...

237. ( giggling )

238. ARE GONNA GO OVER OUR TEAM BUDGET

239. TO GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE.

240. NOW, THE MOST IMPORTANT PART

241. IN CREATING A BUDGET IS... SACRIFICE.

242. SACRIFICE.

243. OKAY, WE'LL LIST OUR NEEDS.

244. I'LL GO FIRST.

245. I'VE INCLUDED... BEANS.

246. SIMPLE, VERSATILE, AND A GOOD SOURCE OF PROTEIN.

247. GEOFFREY?

248. OKAY.

249. FIRST ON MY LIST IS A 50-GALLON SALTWATER TANK

250. WITH PUMP, GRAVEL,

251. AND A MECHANICAL SUNKEN TREASURE CHEST.

252. AND WHAT'S THAT FOR?

253. THAT'S FOR THE NEXT ITEM ON MY LIST:

254. SIX LONG-NECKED SAPPHIRE BLUE JAPANESE PUFFER FISH.

255. VERY RARE, VERY DELICATE.

256. THAT'S WHY I GOT SIX— WE'RE PROBABLY GONNA LOSE A FEW.

257. THEY'RE POISONOUS!

258. WHAT'S NEXT ON YOUR LIST?

259. A DISHWASHER.

260. A DISHWASHER?

261. DON'T WE HAVE ONE OF THOSE?

262. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

263. I MEAN YOUR HANDS IN THE SINK.

264. ( laughing )

265. I'M JUST KIDDING.

266. BUT SERIOUSLY, THAT SEEMS A LITTLE EXTRAVAGANT.

267. WHY DON'T WE PUT A QUESTION MARK ON THAT ONE.

268. OKAY, NEXT ON MY LIST, A TURKISH BIDET.

269. ( bell ringing )

270. OKAY, CLASS.

271. TOMORROW WE'LL COVER SPONTANEITY IN MARRIAGE

272. AND HOW TO PLAN FOR IT.

273. HEY, CHECK OUT YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS

274. LADY FRIEND OVER THERE.

275. YOU BETTER KEEP THAT ONE ON A SHORT LEASH.

276. THAT'S A GOOD ONE, NUTTAGE.

277. I'LL KEEP MY EYE ON HIM.

278. NANCY?

279. WASHING THE STINK OF CHEAT OFF YOUR HANDS, HUSSY?

280. I SAW YOU GIVING MY HUBBY A CHUBBY.

281. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

282. LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE'S TOLD YOU,

283. BUT FOR THE NEXT WEEK, YOUR BOYFRIEND BELONGS TO ME.

284. BUT, JERRI—

285. UH-UH-UH...

286. I'M GONNA SAY THIS ONCE, TWO TIMES, SO LISTEN UP.

287. STAY AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND— ONE.

288. STAY AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND— TWO.

289. UNDERSTAND?

290. OR DO I NEED TO REPEAT MYSELF?

291. GOOD SHOOTIN', CHUCK.

292. MY AIM'S A LITTLE OFF.

293. LET'S CHECK YOUR GRIP.

294. GET HER UP THERE.

295. NOW SQUEEZE THE...

296. WHERE'D YOU GET THE CHARM BRACELET?

297. OH, WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF CHERRI WENT OUT

298. AND BOUGHT ME AN EXPENSIVE GIFT.

299. WE HAVE A LOT OF LAUGHS.

300. THIS IS STILL JUST PRETEND.

301. OF COURSE IT IS.

302. I MEAN, I'D HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.

303. RIGHT?

304. INSANE.

305. I'M A CONFIRMED BACHELOR.

306. YEAH, BOTH OF US.

307. WHAT ABOUT CLAIRE?

308. WHO?

309. YOUR WIFE. RIGHT.

310. EXCEPT FOR HER.

311. YOU READY FOR THE BIG HUNTING TRIP THIS WEEKEND?

312. OH, IS THAT THIS WEEKEND?

313. EVERY WEEKEND, GEOFFREY.

314. I ALREADY MADE THE JERKY.

315. IT'LL KEEP.

316. I PROMISED CHER-CHER I WOULD TAKE HER AWAY THIS WEEKEND.

317. YOU UNDERSTAND, RIGHT?

318. WHAT I UNDERSTAND IS YOU'RE GONNA START LOSING CONTACT

319. WITH YOUR GUY FRIENDS.

320. MAYBE I COULD COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE TONIGHT.

321. YEAH.

322. WAIT, CLAIRE'S HOME TONIGHT.

323. GREAT!

324. I'LL BRING CHERRI.

325. SHE'D LOVE TO MEET HER.

326. I THINK THAT'S MY TARGET, CHUCK.

327. REALLY?

328. WHADDAYA KNOW.

329. CHUCK!

330. NO RUNNING!

331. WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF?

332. OH, I MOVED IN A FEW KNICKKNACKS.

333. HOW DID YOU GET IN?

334. I JIMMIED THE LOCK WITH A TOENAIL.

335. LOOK, JERRI—

336. DON'T WORRY, RONNIE.

337. EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE JUST FINE.

338. ESPECIALLY SINCE I HAD THAT "CHAT" WITH NANCY.

339. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

340. I SET HER STRAIGHT.

341. I THINK SHE'S DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL.

342. WHAT?

343. RONNIE, NO!

344. YOU MADE A FAKE SACRED OATH TO ME!

345. ( doorbell ringing )

346. HEY!

347. LOOK WHO'S HERE.

348. WELL, WELL, WELL.

349. HEY, WE GOT YOU THIS.

350. OH, WOW!

351. HONEY, LOOK. LOOK AT THAT.

352. THAT IS— LOOK AT— WHAT IS THAT?

353. LOOK AT WHAT THAT IS.

354. WE COULD USE ONE OF THOSE.

355. WELL, HERE WE ARE.

356. DID YOU HAVE TROUBLE FINDING THE PLACE?

357. NO, I'VE BEEN HERE PLENTY OF TIMES.

358. WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?

359. I CAN'T REMEMBER.

360. WAS I EVER HERE?

361. NOPE, I DON'T THINK YOU WERE.

362. I GUESS I WASN'T.

363. HEY, CLAIRE, LOVE YOUR MADAM PRECIOUS DOLLS.

364. WHERE'D YOU GET 'EM?

365. OH, THEY'RE CHUCKS.

366. PLEASE DON'T OPEN THAT!

367. PLEASE.

368. MY PRIDE AND JOY.

369. I'VE GOTTEN THEM EVERY PLACE I HAVEN'T BEEN.

370. LOOK AT THE DETAIL.

371. EACH OF THE LITTLE NATIVES IS DRESSED IN HIS

372. COLORFUL, TRADITIONAL GARB.

373. SEE, THE NAVAJO'S GOT A LITTLE BOTTLE OF FIREWATER,

374. AND LOOK AT THE BAG OF DIAMONDS

375. AND THE GIANT HOOKED NOSE ON THE—

376. WHO TOUCHED MY PERUVIAN SHEPHERD?

377. SEAMUS?

378. CHUCK, HE'S IN BED WITH THE CHICKEN POX.

379. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE HIS SIDE?

380. SEAMUS, I HAVE TOLD YOU 100 TIMES:

381. MY TOYS ARE NOT PLAYTHINGS!

382. CAN I NOT HAVE ANYTHING OF MY OWN IN THIS HOUSE?

383. GOD BLESS IT!

384. LET'S EAT.

385. BEFORE WE DIG IN, CHUCK ALWAYS LIKES TO SAY GRACE.

386. SINCE WHEN?

387. JUST SOMETHING I ALWAYS DO... WITH MY FAMILY.

388. LET'S READ A QUICK PASSAGE FROM THE BIBLE HERE.

389. I'LL GRAB SOMETHING AT RANDOM.

390. "LEVITICUS, CHAPTER 20:

391. "AND IF A MAN LIES DOWN WITH ANOTHER MAN,

392. "BOTH OF THEM HAVE COMMITTED AN ABOMINATION.

393. THEY SHALL SURELY BE PUT TO DEATH."

394. AMEN. AMEN.

395. DIG IN!

396. SCISSORS ARE RIGHT THERE TO YOUR LEFT.

397. I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

398. OH, CLAIRE, WHAT DID YOU BOIL HERE?

399. ( Jellineck ) THAT LOOKS GOOD.

400. ( Cherri ) I'LL TAKE A ROUND ONE.

401. ( chuckling )

402. DOES ANYONE WANT SOME MORE COFFEE?

403. YEAH, I'D LOVE SOME MORE COFFEE.

404. ( chuckling )

405. OH!

406. UH-OH, MR. CLUMSYBONES.

407. GODDAMN IT!

408. YOU'RE PICKING AT MY BRAIN LIKE A JACKAL!

409. MMM, THIS IS GOOD!

410. WHADDAYA GOT IN HERE?

411. COFFEE AND WATER.

412. MMM, HOW DID YOU GET IT SO GOSH-DARNED HOT?

413. GEOFFREY, WHY DON'T WE GO DOWN TO MY WORKROOM?

414. I'LL SHOW YOU MY DRILL PRESS.

415. I'VE SEEN THAT PRESS A MILLION TIMES, CHUCK.

416. WHEN HAVE YOU SEEN IT?

417. I MEAN, I'D LIKE TO SEE IT A MILLION TIMES.

418. LET'S GO.

419. IT'S DELICIOUS!

420. I'M SORRY.

421. GEOFFREY ISN'T USUALLY LIKE THIS.

422. CHUCK IS.

423. SORRY FOR THAT LITTLE OUTBURST UP THERE.

424. SOMETIMES SHE JUST PUSHES MY BUTTONS.

425. YOU'RE LUCKY YOU CAN STILL FEEL.

426. YOU BEGINNING TO SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

427. YEAH, YOUR MARRIAGE IS CRAP.

428. I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU AND CHERRI.

429. WHAT?

430. NO, ME AND CHERRI ARE NOTHING LIKE YOU AND CLAIRE.

431. I MEAN, YEAH, WE'VE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS

432. OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS,

433. BUT EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE...

434. I THINK.

435. GEOFFREY!

436. GOTTA GO.

437. GEOFFREY!

438. THAT WAS FUN AT THE NOBLETS LAST NIGHT.

439. YEAH, THAT WAS A GOOD TIME.

440. I REALLY LIKE THAT CLAIRE,

441. AND I REALLY LIKE WHAT THE TWO OF THEM HAVE TOGETHER.

442. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

443. I MEAN, WE'RE THE PERFECT MODEL FOR THE KIDS,

444. AND CHUCK AND CLAIRE ARE THE PERFECT MODEL FOR US.

445. I GOT MY BAGS PACKED.

446. I THOUGHT WE COULD LEAVE RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL

447. FOR OUR SPECIAL WEEKEND.

448. GREAT!

449. GEOFFREY... HMM?

450. CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

451. I DON'T KNOW, WILL IT TAKE A LONG TIME?

452. I LOVE YOU.

453. I LOVE YOU TOO, HONEYBUNCH!

454. NO, GEOFFREY, NOT THE ASSIGNMENT.

455. I... I LOVE YOU.

456. COACH WOLF?

457. OH, I'M SORRY.

458. I CAN COME BACK LATER.

459. OH, NONSENSE.

460. YOU GET IN HERE.

461. WHAT'S ON THAT MIND OF YOURS?

462. WELL, I WAS THINKING—

463. I GOTTA GO. GEOFFREY!

464. I'M SORRY, I JUST REMEMBERED I LEFT THE LIGHT ON IN MY...

465. OTHER LIFE.

466. WHAT DO YOU WANT, RONNIE?

467. JERRI IS NUTS.

468. I WANNA SWITCH PARTNERS.

469. YOU CAN'T SWITCH PARTNERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ASSIGNMENT.

470. THERE YOU ARE.

471. NOW, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST YOU IF I CAN'T FIND YOU?

472. YOU SEE, RONNIE, WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF MY SIGHTS,

473. I START TO IMAGINE YOU

474. SLUTTING IT UP WITH THAT SLUT OF YOURS.

475. AND IT MAKES ME WANNA DO THINGS THAT ARE WRONG.

476. DON'T MAKE ME DO THOSE WRONG THINGS, RONNIE.

477. DON'T MAKE ME.

478. I WANT OUT!

479. RONALD, POOH BEAR, BABY.

480. HUH?

481. WE BELONG TOGETHER.

482. WE'RE LIKE A COBRA AND A MONGOOSE.

483. I BET IT'S BECAUSE OF THAT SLUT NANCY.

484. NO, JERRI.

485. IT'S BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING YOU DO AND SAY.

486. I KNEW IT WAS HER!

487. LOOK, IF YOU WANNA END THIS FAKE MARRIAGE,

488. WE'LL GRANT YOU A FAKE DIVORCE AND A VERY REAL "F".

489. THAT'S GOOD WITH ME!

490. RONNIE!

491. RONNIE!

492. AAHHH!

493. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

494. THIS WON'T TAKE LONG.

495. HEY, NANCY, WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING A WHORE?

496. OH, WAIT A MINUTE, I KNOW THAT ONE.

497. WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING A HOME WRECKER?

498. LOOK, MARRIAGE IS THE MOST SACRED

499. AND TIME-HONORED INSTITUTION.

500. PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN, YOUR EX-WIFE'S LAWYER

501. IS ON THE PHONE.

502. TELL HIM I'M NOT HERE!

503. I'M NOT PAYING THAT WOMAN ANOTHER CENT!

504. SO WHAT?

505. I HAD A FEW INDISCRETIONS, BUT I ALWAYS KEPT THE HOUSE CLEAN.

506. I REALLY HATE TO FAIL YOU KIDS.

507. THIS IS ALL THE MORE TRAGIC TO ME,

508. BECAUSE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF

509. A WONDERFUL FAKE MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW.

510. I WISH EVERYONE COULD FIND THE JOY AND HAPPINESS THAT—

511. HEY, CHERRI, GUESS WHAT?

512. I'M NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO GO ON OUR WEEKEND TOGETHER?

513. WHY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

514. I'M A LITTLE SICK.

515. THOUGHT I'D STAY HOME, GRADE SOME PAPERS, DRINK SOME TEA.

516. GEOFFREY!

517. GOTTA GO.

518. POW.

519. WHAT WAS I SAYING?

520. OH, YEAH, I REMEMBER.

521. MARRIAGE IS A SHAM FOR FOOLS.

522. FOR FAILING AT IT, YOU TWO GET A+s.

523. A+... GOOD DEAL.

524. HOCUS POCUS DOMINOCUS.

525. I GRANT YOUR DIVORCE.

526. HELLO.

527. I'M BEBE NEUWIRTH.

528. SADLY, ONE HALF OF ALL MARRIAGES END IN DIVORCE.

529. THAT'S OVER 75%.

530. THE OTHER 25% END IN DRUNK-DRIVING ACCIDENTS.

531. THE CHOICE IS UP TO YOU.

532. DON'T GET MARRIED, THEN DRINK AND DRIVE.

533. IT'S A RECIPE FOR DISASTER.

534. THANK YOU, AND GOOD NIGHT.