Strangers with Candy 2x3

Directed by Dan Dinello

Roberto Gari as Guy Blank • Deborah Rush as Sara Blank • Larc Spies as Derrick Blank • Orlando Pabotoy as Orlando Pinatubo • Rachel Williams as Dr. Rachel Williams, Supermodel

Everyone's got careers on the brain during Flatpoint's ""Yes You Can't"" career exploration week -- and not just the students. Mr. Noblet revisits his dreams of rockstardom, Mr. Jellineck quits teaching to pursue his art, and Jerri tries to decide between a career in the flower factory or as a junkie whore.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. LET ME WELCOME YOU TO THE KICKOFF OF

2. FLATPOINT'S CAREER WEEK.

4. I'M DR. RACHEL WILLIAMS, SUPERMODEL.

5. AND I'M HERE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT

6. A REALITY.

7. FLATPOINT, I WAS CONFUSED,

8. WHAT MY DREAMS WERE,

9. AND SO CAN YOU!

10. JUST ASK YOURSELF, "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?"

11. A FIREMAN.

12. AN ARSONIST.

13. GANGSTA... WITH A CREW,

14. IN BITCHES.

15. I'D LIKE TO ROOT IN HER CELLAR.

16. NOW, ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS I HAVE THE ABILITY TO ANSWER?

17. THANK YOU.

18.

19. I'D LIKE TO THANK DR. WILLIAMS FOR HELPING YOU G.A.S.

20. "GET YOUR ASPIRATIONS STRAIGHT."

21. NOW LET'S WELCOME OUR OTHER LAST SPEAKER

22. ARTIFICIAL FLOWER CORPORATION,

23. DR. IRIS PUFFYBUSH.

24.

25. A GREAT THING.

26. BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

27. A LOT OF ENERGY.

28. BUT THAT'S OKAY!

29. THERE'S A JOB WAITING FOR YOU DOWN THE BLOCK FROM YOUR HOUSE

30. THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE A THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD OR A HOPE IN YOUR HEART.

31. THE ARTIFICIAL FLOWER FACTORY.

32. WHY FIGHT IT?

33. OKAY?

34. THANK YOU.

35.

36. NOW, YOU'RE ALL REQUIRED TO FILL OUT THIS FORM

37. DREAM CAREER CHOICE,

38. AT FRIDAY'S ASSEMBLY.

39. REMEMBER, WHAT YOU CHOOSE WILL BE ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD

40. FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

41. WELL, DISMISSED.

42. GET OUT!

43. HELLO, I'M JERRI BLANK.

44. 32 YEARS AGO I DROPPED OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL

45. AND RAN AWAY FROM HOME.

46. OH, I MADE A LOT OF FRIENDS,

47. DID A LOT OF TIME.

48. I WAS A BOOZER, A USER, AND A LOSER.

49. I STOLE THE TV.

50. DID SOME MORE TIME.

51. BUT NOW I'M BACK IN SCHOOL!

52. MAY HAVE CHANGED...

53. ARE JUST THE SAME.

54. MR. NOBLET! MR. NOBLET! MR. NOBLET!

55. WHAT SHOULD I BE? WHERE SHOULD I WORK?

56. UH, I DON'T KNOW, I'M SORRY, GO AWAY!

57. MR. NOBLET! MR. NOBLET!

58. PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PLEASE!

59. STILL NEED A LITTLE DIRECTION,

60. I'M OFFERING AN OPTIONAL CAREER APTITUDE TEST AFTER SCHOOL.

61. I STRESS "OPTIONAL."

62. TO TAKE THE TEST,

63. INSIDE ON SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY,

64. IT'S YOUR LIFE.

65. MR. NOBLET! MR. NOBLET!

66.

67. MR. NOBLET?

68. UHH... JERRI.

69. NEW FAKE MUSTACHE.

70. LOOKS REAL.

71. IT IS REAL, JERRI.

72. RIGHT.

73. WH-WHAT DO YOU WANT?

74. I'M CONFUSED.

75. UH-HUH.

76. DREAMS... WELL, WHAT ARE MINE?

77. I DON'T KNOW, JERRI, IT'S YOUR FUTURE.

78. TO DO IN THE FUTURE?

79. GO TO MY LOCKER.

80. DOWN THE LINE, JERRI.

81. FAR INTO THE FUTURE.

82. GOING TO DO?

83. OPEN IT!

84. FLOWER FACTORY.

85. DREAMS.

86. OKAY, MAKE SURE YOU DROP OFF YOUR PROJECTS.

87. I'M GONNA' FIRE THEM THIS AFTERNOON!

88. GOOD WORK, EVERYONE.

89. GREAT, ASHTRAY...

90. OH, LOOK, AN ASHTRAY!

91. GOT AN ASHTRAY HERE...

92. MR. JELLINECK.

93. OH, HEY, JERRI.

94. HEY, HOW ABOUT THAT CAREER RALLY TODAY, HUH?

95. MY GOD, DID YOU HEAR THAT SUPERMODEL?

96. SHE WAS A GREAT SPEAKER!

97. YEAH, I BET SHE'D YANK IT OFF!

98. YEAH, BUT DID YOU HERE WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT LIVING YOUR DREAMS?

99. DID YOU HEAR, JERRI?

100. WELL, ARE YOU LIVING YOUR DREAMS, MR. JELLINECK?

101. WELL, I'M AN ARTIST.

102. AREN'T YOU A TEACHER?

103. YES, JERRI, BUT...

104. OF BOTH WORLDS.

105. YOUNGSTERS HOW TO CREATE,

106. MY SUMMERS

107. WANTING TO PAINT.

108. WOW!

109. THE THING YOU WISH TO WANT.

110. YEAH, I GUESS IT IS.

111. SURE BEATS DOING IT.

112. WHY DON'T YOU RUN ALONG NOW, JERRI?

113. ALL RIGHT, SEE YA.

114. IT'S TIME TO START DOING.

115.

116. HEY, ORLANDO!

117. HOW'S THE AFTER-SCHOOL JOB

118. YOU'RE DOING DURING SCHOOL GOING?

119. OKAY.

120. MONKEY CLEAN, MONKEY DO!

121. HEY, GUESS WHAT? WHAT?

122. TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

123. I FOUND MY DREAM!

124. THAT'S GREAT, WHAT IS IT, JERRI?

125. WELL, I'M FLOATING DOWN A HALLWAY, AND I'M NAKED,

126. AND IT'S ME, BUT IT'S NOT REALLY ME

127. BECAUSE I'M WATCHING ME WALK NAKED.

128. AND THEN SUDDENLY, I'M FALLING OFF A CLIFF,

129. THE BOTTOM,

130. I WAKE UP!

131. TO DO A JOB LIKE THAT?

132. I DON'T KNOW...

133. I'VE TURNED SOME PRETTY FREAKY TRICKS.

134. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM, ORLANDO?

135. WELL, MY PARENTS INSIST THAT MY DREAM IS TO BE AN ONCOLOGIST.

136. ONKOLOGIST? THAT SOUNDS FUNNY.

137. ONK-ONK, LIKE A CLOWN HORN!

138. NO, AN ONCOLOGIST IS A DOCTOR WHO TREATS CANCER.

139. CANCER? THAT'S HILARIOUS!

140. HEY, I OUGHTA BE A STAND-UP.

141. I'M SAD.

142. DO WITH MY LIFE?

143. AHH YES, THAT'S ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL.

144. AHH...

145. PRINCIPAL BLACK—

146. OOH, IT TINGLES.

147. PROFESSOR WILLIAMS.

148. IT'S ACTUALLY FITTING THAT YOU'RE HERE.

149. YOU SPOKE TODAY

150. REDISCOVER MY DREAMS,

151. AND AS A RESULT, PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN,

152. I'D LIKE TO, REGRETFULLY

153. TENDER MY RESIGNATION—

154. SO LONG.

155. I KNOW IT'S USUALLY CUSTOMARY TO GIVE A TWO-WEEK'S NOTICE,

156. BUT I THOUGHT—

157. WORRY ABOUT THAT.

158. OH...

159. WITH MY OWN MONEY,

160. WOULD LIKE TO REIMBURSE ME—

161. TAKE IT WITH, OKAY?

162. AROUND UNTIL YOU HIRE A NEW ART TEACHER—

163. NONSENSE, UH...

164. I'LL HAVE THE DRIVER'S ED INSTRUCTOR TEACH YOUR CLASS.

165. HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

166. CAN FINGER PAINT.

167. HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

168. OHH... HMMMM...

169. WHAT'S A KILN?

170. WHO CARES.

171. HEY, JERRI!

172. JERRI, GET OVER HERE.

173. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

174. THE KILN.

175. THERMA-FLARE 5000.

176. HEY, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME ABOUT MY DREAMS.

177. KICK IN THE BALLS.

178. I REALIZED?

179. TEACHING CAREER IS A FARCE

180. WRAPPED IN A MASQUERADE,

181. FACADE FROSTING.

182. ZERO, JERRI.

183. AND NOW?

184. WELL, NOW YOU CAN MULTIPLY THAT ZERO BY 100.

185. WOW! THAT MUST BE A LOT!

186. I'M OFF TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS, JERRI!

187. ME TOO!

188. WHAT ARE THEY?

189. WHAT ARE MY DREAMS?

190.

191. GODDAMN IT!

192. HA HA HA HA.

193. MR. NOBLET.

194. JERRI!

195. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YA?

196. WELL, I'M HERE FOR THE CAREER TEST.

197. SUPER DUPER!

198. YEAH?

199. OKAY, YOU JUST FILL OUT THIS MULTIPLE CHOICE—

200. HOLD ON, I SHOULD PROBABLY FIND OUT

201. HONESTLY, FIRST.

202. WHAT?

203. SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

204. OKAY.

205.

206. OKAY, I'M GONNA ATTACH THESE ELECTRODES TO YOUR FACE...

207.

208. SERIES OF QUESTIONS.

209. QUESTIONS?

210. CAN FIGURE OUT

211. ACTUALLY WORKS.

212. OKAY, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

213. LEMON.

214. OKAY, YOU'RE LYING.

215. RUST.

216. FAVORITE FOOD?

217. CREPE SUZETTE!

218. JERRI!

219. MEATBALLS.

220. DAMN IT, JERRI, YOU DON'T HAVE TO IMPRESS ME.

221. THE QUESTIONS HONESTLY.

222. WE'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT.

223. OKAY?

224. ALL RIGHT.

225. NOW... IF YOU COULD BE ANY ANIMAL IN THE WORLD,

226. WHAT WOULD IT BE?

227. KITTEN.

228. JERRI!

229. SNAKE.

230. WELL, WE KNOW YOU'RE GOOD AT LYING.

231. OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU FILL OUT THIS MULTIPLE CHOICE

232. SOMEWHERE AWAY FROM ME.

233. READ THIS TEXTBOOK.

234. MR. NOBLET.

235. JERRI!

236. FINISHED.

237. OKAY!

238. LET'S ADD UP YOUR SCORE...

239. 246.

240. LET'S SEE WHAT THAT CORRELATES TO IN THE BACK,

241. YOU ARE BEST SUITED FOR.

242. RIGHT.

243. EXCITED?

244. YEAH!

245. LET'S SEE... DOCTOR, LAWYER...

246. JUNKY WHORE.

247. JUNKY WHORE!

248. WAIT... I'VE DONE THAT.

249. LIKE MR. JELLINECK!

250. TALKING ABOUT?

251. OH, DIDN'T YOU HEAR?

252. SO HE COULD FOLLOW HIS DREAMS.

253. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, YOU STUPID JUNKY WHORE?

254. GODDAMN IT!

255.

256. COMING.

257.

258. COMING, MR. PATIENCE OF A FLOOD!

259. JESUS, MARY, AND...

260. CHUCK.

261. GEOFFERY.

262. WELL, HOW'S THE DREAM GOING?

263. TO CALL YOU, CHUCK.

264. WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME AWAY?

265. I'M NOT PUSHING YOU AWAY, I'M PULLING ME TOWARDS MYSELF.

266. I'M FOLLOWING MY DREAMS, CHUCK.

267. DREAMS? DREAMS, GEOFFREY?

268. YOU DON'T SEE ME PRANCING OFF TO BE A ROCK STAR.

269. DO YOU?

270. A ROCK STAR?

271. NO!

272. HAVE A CHANCE?

273. NO.

274. GOOD!

275. 'CAUSE I LIKE BEING A TEACHER.

276. I LOVE IT!

277. BEING AN ARTIST.

278. WHAT'S IN HERE...

279. AND WHAT'S HERE.

280. CAN I GET A COUPLE 100 BUCKS?

281. WHY DON'T YOU SELL ONE OF YOUR PAINTINGS?

282. WHY DON'T YOU SELL THAT FAKE MUSTACHE?

283. IT'S REAL!

284. AND SO ARE MY DREAMS!

285. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, ON YOU GO.

286. ON THE CAREER WAGON.

287. LET'S MOVE IT, MOVE IT!

288. WE'RE BURNIN' DAYLIGHT HERE, PEOPLE!

289. THE FINGERS AND TOES.

290. THIS WHOLE THING'S GOT TO BE OVER IN CARLOT IN AN HOUR,

291. SO I WANT YOU ON THERE, LIVING YOUR DREAMS,

292. AND THEN GETTIN' THE HELL OUT, UNDERSTAND?

293. MOVE!

294. MOVE, MOVE!

295.

296. STEP UP, STEP UP.

297. I AM THE CAREER WIZARD.

298. IN OUR CAREER SIMULATOR.

299. ROBOTS OF THE FUTURE,

300. YOU'LL EXPERIENCE FIRST-HAND

301. WHAT IT'S ACTUALLY LIKE TO BE... A BANKER!

302. I'm a banker, give me your money.

303. Give me your money.

304. THAT'S IT ORLANDO, THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO BE...

305. A ROBOT!

306. SO LIFE-LIKE, SO REAL!

307. COME ON, LET'S GO.

308. TO THE DOCTOR?

309. BEEN A DOCTOR?

310. I'm gonna replace your organs with a baboon's!

311. Give me your money.

312. Give me your money.

313. DON'T BANG ON THE GLASS!

314. IT ENRAGES THE ROBOTS.

315. MOVE ALONG.

316. MR. JELLY!

317. MR. JELLY!

318. MR. JELLY!

319. MR. SINGH!

320. WELL, COME ON IN.

321. DO YA' FOR?

322. WHERE'S THE RENT?

323. WELL, I'M AN ARTIST NOW, SO...

324. I WANT THE RENT NOW!

325. OKAY, EASY THERE, LOOK...

326. HERE, WHY DON'T, UH...

327. FOR A MONTH OR SO...

328. SELF-PORTRAIT.

329. CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE!

330. YOU TAKE THAT.

331. SEE YA' LATER.

332. May the perpetual light shine down upon us

333. and god's grace be felt by all.

334. Give me your money.

335. Give me your money.

336. KEEP UP, ALMOST THERE.

337. ALL RIGHT, KIDS,

338. YOU'LL LIKE THIS NEXT EXHIBIT.

339. UNDERSTAND? YOU WILL LIKE IT.

340. Nothing like the scent of fresh plastic flowers!

341. I love my job, I love my job.

342. BY THE CAREER-SIMULATOR WAGON,

343. ARTIFICIAL FLOWERS,

344. "YOU'LL BE DEAD BEFORE THEY ARE."

345. I love my job!

346. I LOVE MY JOB!

347. I HAVE NO DREAMS!

348. I LOVE MY JOB!

349. I HAVE NO DREAMS!

350. I LOVE MY JOB!

351. I HAVE NO DREAMS!

352. I LOVE MY JOB!

353. I HAVE NO DREAMS.

354. LIVE YOUR DREAMS.

355. So you wanna be a painter.

356. OH GOD YES!

357. First set up your canvas and paints.

358. WAY AHEAD OF YA'.

359. Got a bowl of fruit?

360. SORT OF.

361. Look at it.

362. Absorb the rich tropical colors of the guava.

363. GUAVA?

364. I CAN'T AFFORD TROPICAL FRUITS!

365. Luxuriate in the roughly rumpled texture of the avocado.

366. AVOCADO'S NOT A FRUIT!

367. I know what you are saying, "Avocado is not a fruit."

368. You think it's a vegetable.

369. Well, Mr. Produce Man, technically, it's a nut.

370. And I think they're delicious.

371. Now that we are all inspired,

372. let's get some painting done.

373. Remember, never believe that you are a failure—

374. You are a failure...

375. You are a failure...

376. You are a failure...

377. You are a—

378. Fruit— fruit—

379.

380. HELLO?

381.

382. HELLO!

383.

384. PRANKSTERS!

385. GEEZUZ, WHAT'S THE DEAL?

386. I WAS OUT THERE FOREVER.

387. I'M SORRY, JERRI, MY PHONE'S BROKEN.

388. HOW'S YOUR DREAM COMIN' ALONG, MR. JELLINECK?

389. GREAT, JERRI!

390. HEY, I BET THE KIDS AT SCHOOL REALLY MISS ME.

391. NOPE.

392. FOR A SECOND?

393. NOPE.

394. THANKS.

395. HEY, WHY DON'T YOU PAINT ME WHILE I TALK?

396. I DON'T KNOW.

397. REMOVE MY CLOTHES?

398. I DON'T THINK SO.

399. ARE YOU SURE?

400. I'M POSITIVE.

401. WHY DON'T I REMOVE MY PANTS AND PANTIES?

402. LOOK, JERRI, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

403. WELL, I'M HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE CORNERING MY DREAMS.

404. QUIT SCHOOL THAT DAY,

405. REALLY INSPIRED ME.

406. HEY, JERRI, DO YOU UH, REMEMBER WHAT I SAID?

407. PLEASE?

408. OF COURSE, YOU SAID,

409. "SOMETHING SOMETHING...

410. SOMETHING."

411. THAT LOSES A LITTLE "OOMPF" THE SECOND TIME AROUND.

412. MR. JELLY!

413. MR. JELLY!

414. MR. JELLY, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!

415. HEYYY, I GOT A GOOD IDEA.

416. WHY DON'T YOU AND I LIE ON THE FLOOR

417. WE'RE NOT HERE.

418. I WANT YOU OUT!

419. I BRING THE POLICE!

420. HEY, I GOT ANOTHER GREAT IDEA!

421. I COULD MOVE OUT

422. OF DARKNESS.

423. WANNA' HELP?

424. MY PANTS AND PANTIES.

425. CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE, CRUMPLE!

426. WANT THE LAMP?

427. OH, JUST SET IT DOWN THERE ON THE GRASS THERE, JERRI.

428. LOOKS GOOD!

429. YEAH? YEAH.

430. YA' NEED SOME HELP RIGGIN' UP YOUR CANVAS?

431. I DON'T THINK SO, JERRI, I'M GONNA—

432. I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA' PAINT TODAY.

433. I'M GONNA' PUT THAT DREAM ON TEMPORARY HOLD

434. NEW DREAMS, LIKE...

435. NOT FREEZING TO DEATH.

436. YOU'RE A REAL INSPIRATION, MR. JELLINECK.

437. HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE?

438.

439. WELL, YOU'RE WILLING TO RUIN YOUR WHOLE LIFE

440. SOME DREAM.

441. WHAT IS MY DREAM?

442. I DON'T KNOW, JERRI.

443. DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS.

444. DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS?

445. DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS...

446. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS!

447. SAY, JERRI, DO YA' GOT A BOOK OF MATCHES OR SOME KEROSENE?

448. MR. J, YOU'LL HAVE TO FORAGE FOR BREAKFAST WITHOUT ME.

449. I'VE GOT A PRESENTATION TO MAKE!

450. GO GET 'EM!

451. AND THAT'S WHY I WANT TO WORK AT

452. FLOWER FACTORY.

453.

454. THE FLOWER FACTORY!

455. AND NOW, OUR FINAL DREAMER TODAY,

456. JERRI BLANK!

457.

458. JERRI! JERRI!

459. YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF RUBES!

460. WILLING TO SETTLE FOR A JOB

461. FLOWER PLANT PLANT.

462. FIRST PIMP TO CALL HER PRETTY!

463. WELL, I WILL NEVER WORK FOR THE MAN,

464. FROM MY HERO, MR. JELLINECK

465. IS THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DREAM,

466. IT'S THAT YOU DREAM, AND THAT'S MY DREAM;

467. TO DREAM.

468. WELL, THERE HE IS NOW, MR. JELLINECK!

469. WELL, HE CAN TELL YOU HIMSELF

470. HE THOUGHT HE MEANT.

471.

472. JOB BACK, PLEASE!

473. WHAT? WHAT ABOUT THE DREAMS?

474. DREAMS ARE FOR FOOLS!

475. I'M HUNGRY AND TIRED AND...

476. TO CRAP.

477. MY JOB BACK PLEASE?

478. WASHED AND SHAVED

479. A ROOM FULL OF STUDENTS!

480. OFF MY KILN!

481. SO GO ON, BLANK.

482. WHY DON'T YOU TELL ALL OF US RUBES

483. FROM MR. JELLINECK?

484. RUBES? DID I— DID I SAY RUBES?

485. THAT WAS THE WORD.

486. I MEANT IT IN A NICE WAY.

487. WELL, I GUESS WHAT I LEARNED IS,

488. IF YOU'RE GONNA REACH FOR A STAR...

489. ONE YOU CAN!

490. I'M GONNA WORK AT THE ARTIFICIAL FLOWER PLANT PLANT!

491.

492. YES, YOU ARE!

493. AH-CHOO!

494. NO!