Strangers with Candy 1x8

Directed by Dan Dinello

Orlando Pabotoy as Orlando Pinatubo • Evelyn McGee-Colbert as Chuck's Mother • Sarah Thyre as Coach Cherri Wolf

Noblet discovers that Jerri is a violin prodigy and ruthlessly grooms her to become the star he always wanted to be.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. "Peter and The Wolf" )

2. ( playing randomly )

3. ( tapping baton loudly )

4. JERRI, COULD I SEE YOU AT THE PODIUM FOR A SECOND, PLEASE?

5. YOU MEAN THAT CRATE YOU'RE STANDING ON?

6. ( whispering ) YES.

7. YES, YOUR HONOR.

8. JERRI, I NEED CRISP SHOTS TO THE TIMPANI,

9. LIKE YOU'RE STRIKING A LOVER'S RUMP:

10. HARD ENOUGH TO RAISE A WELT,

11. YET SOFT ENOUGH THAT IT LEAVES NO PERMANENT SCAR

12. THAT MIGHT BE USED AGAINST YOU IN A COURT OF LAW.

13. UNDERSTAND?

14. ALL TOO WELL.

15. GOOD.

16. TA TA DA TA! TA TA DA TA!

17. WATCH THE BATON, IT'S LIKE A SHEEP,

18. IT JUMPS THE FENCE AND GOES TO SLEEP.

19. GOT IT? DO IT!

20. ( tapping baton )

21. ( drumming loudly )

22. GOD DAMNIT!

23. JERRI... ( stifled grunt )

24. PUT THE MALLETS DOWN.

25. PUT THE MALLET DOWN AND NEVER TOUCH THEM AGAIN.

26. BUT... BUT!

27. YOU'RE OUT OF THE ORCHESTRA, JERRI, I'M SORRY.

28. WHAT ABOUT THE TRI-COUNTY MUSICAL CHAMPIONSHIPS?

29. MAYBE WE HAVE A SHOT NOW THAT YOU'RE GONE.

30. LOOK, THAT'S IT FOR TODAY, PEOPLE.

31. WE'LL PICK IT UP TOMORROW WHERE PETER IS MAULED BY THE WOLF.

32. 10:00 A.M. SHARP, PEOPLE, EXCEPT FOR YOU, JERRI.

33. I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU AT A QUARTER AFTER NEVER.

34. ( one last boom )

35. GEOFFREY?

36. ( Jerri blowing trumpet lamely )

37. ( playing violin perfectly )

38. UGGGHH!

39. JERRI!

40. ( blowing air )

41. JERRI!

42. WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO PLAY VIOLIN?

43. THIS?

44. NO, JERRI...

45. THIS.

46. OH, THE STRINGY PADDLE?

47. YES, JERRI, THE STRINGY PADDLE.

48. I'VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE...

49. DID I DO GOOD?

50. YOU DID BETTER THAN GOOD, JERRI.

51. YOU DID...

52. GOODER.

53. MAYBE I SHOULD GO TELL MR. JELLINECK.

54. NO, JERRI, THAT'S... ALL RIGHT.

55. I'LL TELL HIM.

56. YOU... YOU RUN ALONG AND HAVE FUN.

57. TAKE CARE OF THOSE HANDS, JERRI.

58. THEY'RE MY FUTURE.

59. THIS VIOLIN BELONGED TO YOUR GRANDFATHER.

60. AFTER HE DIED IT WAS GIVEN TO YOUR FATHER,

61. AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FATHER.

62. NOW IT'S YOURS.

63. PLAY, CHARLES, PLAY!

64. PLAY, CHARLES, PLAY.

65. ( sobbing loudly )

66. OH, YOUR HEALTH CLUB CALLED,

67. AND YOU LEFT YOUR TAPE RECORDER

68. IN THE "ASS BLASTER."

69. THEY SAID YOU CAN PICK IT UP ANYTIME.

70. AHHHH.

71. ( doorbell rings )

72. OOH, HMM, WHO'S THAT?

73. STAY STILL, I'LL GET IT.

74. OH, MR. NOBLET.

75. MRS. BLANK.

76. UMM... MAY I COME IN?

77. OH CERTAINLY, COME ON IN.

78. JUST, UH, STAY ON THE RUNNER.

79. ( Jerri ) MR. NOBLET!

80. JERRI.

81. HERE, WE'RE IN THE OTHER ROOM, COME ON.

82. MR. BLANK, MRS. BLANK,

83. I STOPPED BY TODAY BECAUSE I'VE RECENTLY DISCOVERED

84. THAT YOUR CHILD IS... SPECIAL.

85. YES, DERRICK HAS ALWAYS BEEN EXCEPTIONAL.

86. I WAS ACTUALLY SPEAKING OF JERRI.

87. OH, THAT KIND OF "SPECIAL."

88. WE KNOW.

89. OUR LITTLE FUDGEPOT HAS MADE A BRAVE EFFORT

90. TO FIT IN WITH ALL THE... NORMAL STUDENTS.

91. YOU MISUNDERSTAND ME.

92. JERRI HERE HAS A VERY PRECIOUS GIFT.

93. AND, WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION,

94. I'D LIKE TO TAKE HER UNDER MY WING

95. AND MAKE IT MINE.

96. WELL, IF JERRI HAS A GIFT,

97. SHE CERTAINLY HASN'T UNWRAPPED IT.

98. THAT'S GOOD.

99. WHAT IS IT?

100. JERRI IS A VIOLIN PRODIGY.

101. AAHHHHH! ( crash )

102. DADDY!

103. GUY!

104. MR. NOBLET, YOU BETTER GO.

105. MY HUSBAND DOES NOT ALLOW VIOLIN PLAYING IN THIS HOUSE.

106. MR. BLANK...

107. AH! DE, DE, DE, THE RUNNER!

108. GO, GO!

109. PLEASE!

110. DADDY, PLEASE!

111. CAN I PLEASE PLAY THE VIOLIN?

112. IS THAT NOT WHAT YOU DON'T WANT ME NOT TO DO?

113. LOOK, DADDY, I'M SORRY BUT I GOTTA DO THIS.

114. MR. NOBLET SAYS IT'S MY ONE CHANCE TO BE SOMETHING I'M NOT

115. AND WILL NEVER BE.

116. ( Noblet ) THIS VIOLIN HAS PASSED DOWN

117. A LONG LINE OF GREAT MUSICIANS, JERRI.

118. IT WAS MY GRANDFATHERS, THEN MY FATHERS AND FINALLY IT WAS PASSED DOWN TO ME,

119. AND I, IN TURN...

120. AM GOING TO KEEP IT.

121. IT'S REALLY BEAUTIFUL. I KNOW.

122. THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE GONNA PLAY.

123. IT'S MADE OF DRYWALL, OR SOMETHING, I'M NOT SURE.

124. BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.

125. THE IMPORTANT THING IS...

126. THIS ONE'S MINE... ALL MINE.

127. SAY, JERRI, LET'S STRIKE A LITTLE BARGAIN.

128. YOU PUT IN ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE HARD WORK NECESSARY

129. CHAMPIONSHIPS

130. AND I PROMISE, IN RETURN, TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT.

131. JERRI...

132. HELLO, CHUCK.

133. GEOFFREY.

134. YOUR LITTLE HISTORY FINGERS MUST BE ALL GOOEY

135. FROM STICKING THEM IN MY MUSICAL PIE.

136. ( snickering )

137. JERRI, YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR ORCHESTRA PRACTICE.

138. WHY DON'T YOU RUN ALONG.

139. BUT YOU KICKED ME OFF.

140. WELL, I'M KICKING YOU BACK ON.

141. STAY WHERE YOU ARE.

142. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, GEOFFREY.

143. NOW SHE'S MINE.

144. JERRI'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAPTURE, CHUCK.

145. YOU'RE LIKE A BEAR TRAP WHO'S CAUGHT ITS PREY,

146. BUT DON'T BE SURPRISED IF SHE GNAWS HER OWN LIMB OFF TO GET AWAY.

147. I DON'T THINK THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.

148. OH, AND WHY NOT?

149. HAVE YOU SEEN HER TEETH?

150. THEY'RE PRACTICALLY NUBS.

151. SHE'D NEVER MAKE IT THROUGH THE BONE.

152. YOU—

153. JERRI'S LIFE SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT YOU, CHUCK.

154. IT SHOULD BE ABOUT ME.

155. SO THINK ABOUT WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS,

156. AND WHAT IT'S DOING TO US.

157. CHARLES!

158. YOU WERE OUT PLAYING BALL?

159. THE VIOLIN.

160. ( woodpecker pecking )

161. OH, GREGORY.

162. HOW'S MY FAVORITE LITTLE WOODPECKER, HUH?

163. SO WHAT'S IT LIKE SHARING A LOCKER

164. WITH A CHILD PRODIGY, HUH?

165. FROM NOW ON THIS VIOLIN IS MY WHOLE LIFE.

166. JERRI.

167. JERRI, YOU WANNA GO THROW STUFF OFF THE OVERPASS?

168. HEY, YEAH, WE COULD THROW THIS OFF!

169. HEY, I KNOW WHERE WE COULD GET SOME CINDER BLOCKS.

170. WHERE?

171. FROM THAT JEW—

172. OH, LISTEN, ORLANDO...

173. I CAN'T SPEND ANY TIME WITH YOU TODAY.

174. I HAVE TO GO PRACTICE THIS THING.

175. I WAS ALREADY BRILLIANT AT WITHOUT ANY PRACTICE.

176. WELL, JERRI, OUR FRIENDSHIP WAS A LOT MORE SPECIAL TO YOU

177. BEFORE YOU BECAME SO... SPECIAL.

178. HI, JERRI.

179. HOW WAS YOUR FIRST DAY BEING AN IDIOT SAVANT?

180. WONDERFUL, STEP-MOTHER...

181. MY LIFE'S GOING SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOUR REAL CHILD DERRICK'S.

182. OHH, I JUST THOUGHT THIS LITTLE HOBBY OF YOURS

183. IS STARTING TO CUT INTO YOUR CHORES.

184. CHORES! I'M A CHILD PRODIGY!

185. WELL, YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE TO BE A CHILD PRODIGY.

186. RIGHT NOW YOU'VE GOT SOME WORK TO DO, YOUNG LADY.

187. BUT MR. NOBLET SAYS THAT I HAVE TO WATCH MY HANDS.

188. WELL, YOU CAN WATCH YOUR HANDS AS THEY BRUSH THE CAT'S TEETH.

189. SCABBIE'S TEETH!

190. OOOOGH!

191. ( meowing ) C'MON, SCABBIE...

192. ( cat growling )

193. JERRI, TODAY WE'RE GONNA WORK ON

194. "BACHIANAS BRAZILIERAS #5" BY VILLA-LOBOS.

195. THE FIRST N—

196. GOD, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

197. NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOT THERE!

198. OWWW!

199. PLAY!

200. MY GOD, MY HANDS!

201. THEY'RE MY HANDS.

202. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

203. WHAT HAPPENED!

204. I HAD TO DO SOME CHORES.

205. THAT IS IT, YOU ARE COMING TO LIVE WITH ME!

206. WHAT?

207. YOU ARE BEYOND CHORES, JERRI.

208. AND I AM THE ONLY ONE

209. WHO CAN HELP YOU REALIZE MY DREAMS OF YOURS...

210. THE VIOLIN IS A PRECIOUS INSTRUMENT.

211. IT'S A GIFT FROM GOD THAT ALLOWS US TO TURN RAW FEELINGS

212. AND PERSONAL INFORMATION INTO A VALUABLE...

213. ( kids playing outside )

214. JERRI?

215. JERRI!

216. BUT I WANT TO HAVE FUN.

217. HEY, WE ALL WANT TO HAVE FUN.

218. I'M A FUN GUY!

219. BUT WE'VE GOTTA STAY FOCUSED RIGHT NOW, JERRI.

220. WE CAN'T LET ANY OUTSIDE DISTRACTIONS CREEP IN!

221. GOD, I'M FAMISHED.

222. YOU PRACTICE, I'M GONNA GET A TURKEY WRAP.

223. ( whispering ) CRAZY!

224. ( playing beautifully )

225. ( Jellineck ) MY CAR! GET AWAY!

226. ( sobbing )

227. ( Noblet ) JERRI!

228. ( no voice )

229. LISTEN, WILL YOU WATCH GREGORY, WHILE I GO PACK A FEW THINGS?

230. SURE, JERRI.

231. BE CAREFUL...

232. ( tweeting ) SHHHH, SHHHH.

233. BE A MINUTE.

234. ( bird screeching & flapping )

235. AWWW...

236. ( Jerri ) WELL... GUESS I'M ALL PACKED.

237. HEY, PLUG, I JUST GOT 37 IN A ROW.

238. I GUESS I'M A GENIUS TOO!

239. YEAH, AT JERKING OFF.

240. OH, JERRI, IT'S NEVER AN EASY TIME FOR A MOTHER

241. WHEN A CHILD FLIES THE NEST.

242. THE THOUGHT OF DERRICK LEAVING HOME

243. MAKES ME WANT TO WEEP.

244. ( sigh ) BYE, JERRI.

245. OH, I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THIS.

246. ( gasp ) OH MOTHER, WHAT IS IT?

247. IT'S THE LAUNDRY.

248. I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD DROP IT OFF AT THE CLEANERS.

249. BYE-EE.

250. DADDY, I'M LEAVING NOW. ( car horn honking )

251. I SURE WISH I HAD YOUR BLESSING.

252. DADDY, PLEASE SAY SOMETHING.

253. I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T TOUCHED THE VIOLIN SINCE MOTHER DIED

254. WHEN I RAN AWAY 32 YEARS AGO.

255. I SHOULD GO. ( horn continues )

256. I'LL SEE YA.

257. ( car horn honking frantically )

258. ALL SET?

259. I GUESS...

260. HEY, WHERE'S GREGORY?

261. OH, HE— HE GOT SLEEPY,

262. SO I PUT HIM IN THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT.

263. WELL, HERE WE ARE.

264. JERRI, THIS IS WHERE ALL THE HARD WORK BEGINS.

265. ARE YOU READY TO SACRIFICE EVERYTHING?

266. NO.

267. GREAT! LET'S GET STARTED.

268. ( people cheering on t.v. )

269. ( noisemaker rattles )

270. HAPPY NEW YEAR, JERRI.

271. DO YOU HAVE ANY RESOLUTIONS?

272. YEAH, TO MOVE BACK—

273. TO WIN THE TRI-COUNTY MUSIC CHAMPIONSHIPS.

274. YES, THIS IS MINE ALSO.

275. LET'S PRACTICE!

276. LOOK, MR. NOBLET, YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE AT CHILDHOOD,

277. AND I DON'T WANNA MISS OUT ON IT A SECOND TIME.

278. Y'KNOW, I'VE REALLY HAD IT.

279. I SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO MY DADDY.

280. JERRI, YOU HAVE A VERY PRECIOUS GIFT.

281. WELL, IF IT'S SO PRECIOUS, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT?

282. BELIEVE ME, JERRI, IF I COULD HACK OFF YOUR ARMS

283. AND ATTACH THEM TO MY OWN TORSO, I WOULD.

284. WHAT A TEAM I'D MAKE!

285. YOU'RE CRAZY. ( doorbell rings )

286. I'M GONNA GET THAT. YOU DO SOME SCALES.

287. PRACTICE!

288. HAPPY NEW YEAR, CHUCK.

289. HAPPY NEW YEAR, GEOFFREY.

290. I GOT YOU THIS FUN BUCKET OF ASSORTED POPCORN.

291. THANKS.

292. IT'S LATE, CHUCK, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

293. WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME, GEOFFREY?

294. SINCE YOU SEEM TO KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR EVERYONE.

295. I'VE COME TO STOP THE MADNESS.

296. STAY OUT OF THIS. I'M ALREADY IN IT.

297. STAY OUT OF THIS!

298. MR. JELLINECK?

299. YOU'RE PUSHING HER TOO HARD.

300. WHO DO THINK YOU'RE KIDDING!

301. THE ONLY REASON YOU DON'T WANT HER TO COMPETE

302. IS THAT WHEN WE WIN TOMORROW YOU'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE A FOOL!

303. YES, I WILL.

304. BUT EVEN IF YOU DO WIN, CHUCK,

305. IT WON'T CHANGE THE REASON WHY YOU DON'T PLAY VIOLIN,

306. WILL IT?

307. WHY DON'T YOU PLAY THE VIOLIN?

308. WHY DON'T YOU TELL HER, CHUCK?

309. OR MAYBE I SHOULD.

310. SHUT UP. TELL HER, CHUCK!

311. SHUT UP! THEN I'LL SAY IT!

312. THE REASON YOU DON'T PLAY VIOLIN IS—

313. SHUT UP! SHUT UUUUU-UP!

314. PLAY THE VIOLIN.

315. ( playing horribly )

316. YOU... DON'T... KNOW... HOW!

317. AAAARRRRRGGGGHH!

318. YOU BASTARD!

319. OH GOD!

320. C'MON, C'MON!

321. SHOW ME HOW YOU CAN'T PLAY, CHUCK!

322. ARGH, AGHHH...

323. ARRRGHHH!

324. YOU LIKE THAT?

325. DO YOU LIKE THAT?

326. PLAY, CHUCK!

327. GO AHEAD, PLAY!

328. JERRI!

329. JERRI! JERRI!

330. YOU SON...

331. OF-A...

332. BITCH!

333. YOU!

334. ( playing "Fur Elise" )

335. AHHH, THANK YOU CHRISTOPHER SURLES

336. OF CHARLATON ELEMENTARY.

337. YE-OUCH, DON'T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB.

338. HEH, HEH, HAH...

339. GET OFF!

340. AND NOW, FOR THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR,

341. FLATPOINT HIGH'S OWN, GERALDINE ANTONIA BLANK!

342. ( applause and cheering )

343. THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME... PROBLEM.

344. UHHH, I'LL BE BACK IN A SHORTLY.

345. WHERE IS SHE, NOBLET?

346. ( no voice )

347. THE SCHOOL'S HONOR IS RIDING ON THIS.

348. ( whispering ) HE DOESN'T KNOW!

349. ( audience ) JERRI, JERRI, JERRI...

350. ALL RIGHT, SETTLE DOWN, YOU JACKALS.

351. IT IS WITH DEEP REGRET,

352. THAT FLATPOINT HIGH'S RESIDENT SHOO-IN WILL NOT—

353. I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!

354. I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!

355. I'M SURE YOU ALL CAME TO HEAR ME EXPRESS MY GENIUS.

356. BUT I'M NOT HERE TO EXPRESS MYSELF.

357. I'M HERE TO SAY SOMETHING.

358. I'VE LEARNED THAT THE VIOLIN IS AN EVIL INSTRUMENT

359. THAT TEARS PEOPLE APART.

360. IT TORE ME AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS...

361. IT TORE APART THE ODDLY CLOSE RELATIONSHIP OF THESE TEACHERS

362. WHO ARE BOTH MARRIED WITH CHILDREN...

363. AND MOST IMPORTANT,

364. IT TORE ME AWAY FROM MY DEAR, LOVING FATHER.

365. DADDY, WHEREVER YOU ARE, YOU WERE RIGHT.

366. MUSIC IS BAD, AND I'LL NEVER PLAY AGAIN.

367. SO HAPPY... NEW YEAR.

368. ( violin plays )

369. DADDY?

370. ( violin again )

371. DADDY, YOU'RE PLAYING!

372. GIVE ME THAT, YOU TROLL!

373. MR. NOBLET?

374. ( "Psycho" strings )

375. GO AHEAD, CHUCK, YOU CAN.

376. YOU CAN DO IT!

377. ( plays horribly )

378. I CAN PLAY!

379. I CAN PLAY!

380. THAT'S GOOD, YOU CAN PLAY.

381. ( playing hoedown music )

382. ( both playing badly )

383. ( all playing badly )

384. ( audience cheering )