Strangers with Candy 1x4

Amber Stone as Amber • Richard Kind as Harry Link • Tamera Gindlesperger as Kimberly Timbers

Jerri is told she must help Principal Blackman out by turning snitch and rooting out the school retard if she wants to go on the class trip to Good Time Island.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. YOU SAW A DENTIST, JERRI?

2. ABOUT A... 32 YEARS AGO.

3. WHY DON'T YOU OPEN WIDE AND WE'LL TAKE A LOOK...

4. OKAY...

5. MMM...

6. AHH... I SEE SOME PERIODONTAL DISEASE,

7. SOME GINGIVITIS...

8. GEOGRAPHIC LIP,

9. YOUR TONGUE BOBBED,

10. SEEM TO BE ALL TARTAR.

11. ALL RIGHT, LET ME GRAB THE X-RAYS.

12. WE'LL TAKE A BETTER LOOK.

13. HI, I'M JERRI BLANK.

14. AND I'M A 46-YEAR-OLD HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN.

15. DURING THE 32 YEARS I SPENT AS A TEENAGE RUNAWAY,

16. I WAS A BOOZER, A USER, AND A LOSER.

17. BUT NOW I'M PICKING UP MY LIFE EXACTLY WHERE I LEFT OFF.

18. ONLY THIS TIME, WHEN I MAKE THE WRONG CHOICES,

19. I'M DOING IT FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS.

20. WHOA, THAT'S A HELL OF AN OVERBITE.

21. OH, YOU'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO NEED SOME ORTHODONTURE.

22. YOU SAYING?

23. YOUNG LADY...

24. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FIT YOU FOR BRACES.

25. BRACES! BUT IF I GET BRACES

26. I'LL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF FLATPOINT HIGH!

27. BRACES, JERRI...

28. BUT I'M AFRAID THAT'S SOMETHING

29. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH.

30. UGHH!

31. HEY, TINSEL TEETH.

32. YEAH, WAY TO GO, BRACE FACE.

33.

34. HI, JERRI.

35. OH HEY, KIMBERLY.

36. NO THANKS...

37. Y'KNOW, THOSE GIRLS DON'T KNOW

38. WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

39. IT'S NOT THAT BAD HAVING BRACES.

40. YEAH, WELL, NAME ONE GOOD THING.

41. UM... WELL, UH...

42. THEY'RE SHINY!

43. YEAH, YEAH... THANKS.

44. "... THEN JEFFERSON BOUGHT THE MISSISSIPPI AND BEYOND,

45. HAD GLORY UPON."

46. I'VE NEVER HEARD THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE

47. LYRICALLY.

48. THANK YOU, CHIP.

49. TEETH.

50. SIT DOWN.

51. JERRI, YOU'RE UP.

52.

53. "PACKING A MUSKET" BY JERRI BLANK.

54. AHEM...

55. "WHEN YOU WORK FROM YOUR HOME AND JOHNS CALL ON THE PHONE,

56. "YOU'RE A CALL GIRL.

57. "WHEN YOU WALK 'TIL YOU LIMP AND GIVE A CUT TO A PIMP,

58. "YOU'RE A STREET WHORE.

59. "WHEN THEY'RE BEGGING YOU PLEASE TO GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES NEAR THEIR GROINAGE,

60. "SCUZA ME, BUT YOU SEE, DON'T YOU TOUCH, WHERE THEY PEE WITHOUT COINAGE."

61. THANK YOU, JERRI—

62. "WHEN I STRADDLE AND SQUAT TO SHOW YOU MY..."

63. ALL RIGHT, JERRI.

64. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY FOR TOMORROW

65. A HISTORY POEM ON HIROSHIMA

66. BUT NOTHING TOO... FAG-GY...

67. AND REMEMBER, I NEED PERMISSION SLIPS

68. FOR THIS WEEK'S TRIP TO GOODTIME ISLAND.

69. WHERE'S YOUR PERMISSION SLIP?

70. DIRTY LITTLE MOUTH!

71. JERRI?

72. CAN YOU HOLD ON A MINUTE?

73. SURE!

74. WANTED ME TO SPEAK TO YOU

75. ABOUT KIMBERLY TIMBERS.

76. MY LOCKER MATE?

77. YES, WE'D LIKE YOU TO SPY ON HER.

78. SPY ON HER?

79. HEY!

80. I'M NO SQUEALER, ALRIGHT?

81. I'M NOT SNARKING ON ANYBODY!

82. WHAT'D SHE DO?

83. MIGHT BE...

84. RETARDED.

85. WOW, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?

86. WELL, LET'S JUST SAY IT'S ONE OF PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN'S HUNCHES,

87. AND WE DON'T QUESTION THOSE.

88. DO WE?

89. WELL, WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE, JERRI?

90. I DON'T THINK SO.

91. I UNDERSTAND.

92. MMM... ALRIGHT.

93. OK.

94. OK.

95. IT IS A SHAME YOU'RE GOING TO MISS

96. TO GOODTIME ISLAND, THOUGH.

97. WHAT?

98. BUT I'M IN THE PLEASURE CLUB!

99. I MEAN...

100. MY DAD'S ALREADY SIGNED MY PERMISSION SLIP AND EVERYTHING!

101. SEE?

102. JERRI, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T READ THIS NOTE.

103. THE HANDWRITING IS SO...

104. UNCOOPERATIVE.

105. LISTEN, JERRI, DON'T THINK OF IT AS SNITCHING.

106. BETRAYING THE RETARDED.

107. WE'RE NOT ASKING YOU TO DO ANYTHING WE WOULDN'T DO.

108. THEN WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?

109. HAS VERY STRICT GUIDELINES

110. FOR SNARING THE RETARDED.

111. FROM ONE OF HER PEERS.

112. WHY ME?

113. WELL, YOU'VE GOT THESE BRACES.

114. BE DRAWN TO...

115. SHINY OBJECTS.

116. RIGHT, WELL, I DON'T THINK SHE'S RETARDED.

117. REALLY, JERRI?

118. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A CLOSER LOOK.

119. BUT BE CAREFUL.

120. IF SHE CATCHES ON, SHE MAY FLY INTO A RAGE

121. THE STRENGTH OF AN APE,

122. AND NO REMORSE!

123. WOULD BRING HER DOWN.

124. WOW!

125. REMEMBER, JERRI, GOODTIME ISLAND.

126. HI, JERRI.

127. HEY, KIMBERLY!

128. SO UM... HOW'S YOUR BRAIN?

129. MY BRAIN?

130. OH LISTEN, NEVER MIND.

131. SO YOU GOING TO AH... GOODTIME ISLAND?

132. OF COURSE I'M GOING!

133. I'M SECRETARY OF THE PLEASURE CLUB.

134. OH RIGHT!

135. BE SO RETARDED.

136. I'M TALKIN' ABOUT?

137. FEEL THAT WAY?

138. WHO DOESN'T?

139. I DON'T.

140. DO YOU?

141. JOKING, JERRI.

142. REALLY, "JOKING," THAT'S FUNNY.

143. JOKES ON THE SPOT

144. OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD

145. WITH THEM?

146. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

147. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND!

148. WELL, SEE YA LATER, JERRI.

149. YEAH, YEAH...

150. MMM...

151. MMM— OW!

152. WELL, CLAWSON, LOOKS LIKE THIS CASE IS CLOSED.

153. LOCKER MATE'S RETARDED.

154. AND SINCE THEY'RE DANGEROUS

155. I GUESS SNARKING'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING.

156. SO IT'S OFF TO GOODTIME ISLAND!

157. LET'S GO SEE MR. NOBLET

158. OLD-FASHIONED SNITCHAROO.

159. OH LISTEN, I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR.

160. OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH.

161. OH, HEY, JERRI.

162. MR. JELLINECK,

163. MR. NOBLET FOR A SECOND?

164. SURE.

165. CHUCK, TAKE FIVE.

166. DO FOR YOU, JERRI?

167. I'M READY TO MAKE MY REPORT.

168. THAT WAS FAST.

169. YOU MUST FEEL GOOD.

170. I GUESS.

171. TELL YOU WHAT, JERRI.

172. I'M GONNA HEAD DOWN TO PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN'S OFFICE AND TAKE A SHOWER.

173. WHY DON'T YOU JOIN ME THERE IN A FEW MINUTES

174. AND WE'LL TELL HIM ALL ABOUT THIS REPORT OF YOURS.

175. OKAY?

176. OH AND JERRI...

177. A LOT MORE LEGIBLE.

178. NO RUNNING!

179. SAY, JERRY...

180. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

181. MR. NOBLET WANTS ME TO SNITCH ON A FRIEND.

182. SNITCHING DOESN'T SEEM LIKE YOU, JERRI.

183. OH, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

184. I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE SNITCHING ON A REAL PERSON, OR ANYTHING.

185. SHE'S...

186. GAY?

187. RETARDED.

188. YES, MOST OF THEM ARE.

189. MOST WHO OR WHAT?

190. ARE RETARDED.

191. WAIT A MINUTE, DOES THAT MEAN KIMBERLY TIMBERS IS GAY?

192. I DON'T KNOW.

193. HEY, MAKE A PASS AT HER AND FIND OUT.

194. SHE'D HAVE TO BE RETARDED TO TURN YOU DOWN.

195. THANKS— UM... ARE THEY DANGEROUS?

196. GAY PEOPLE? THEY CAN BE.

197. NO, NO, NO, RETARDED PEOPLE.

198. HMMM... I DON'T KNOW.

199. YOU DO ANY SNITCHING

200. YOU BETTER FIND OUT.

201. A CELEBRATION.

202. ALL THE INFORMATION

203. THAT YOU NEED.

204. LET'S READ IT NOW!

205. Hi, this is Wilford Brimley.

206. Welcome to A Celebration.

207. Now, hopefully with this book, I'm gonna dispel a few myths.

208. A few rumors.

209. First off, the retarded don't rule the night.

210. They don't rule it.

211. Nobody does.

212. And they don't run in packs.

213. And while they may not be as strong as apes,

214. don't lock eyes with them, don't do it.

215. It puts 'em on edge.

216. they might go into berserker mode,

217. come at you like a whirling dervish,

218. all fists and elbows.

219. You might be screaming, "No, no, no,"

220. and all they hear is, "Who wants cake?"

221. Let me tell you something, they all do.

222. They all want cake.

223. Well, that's it for the celebration.

224. I guess the most important thing to remember is:

225. they're just like you and me.

226. HMMM...

227. "THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME."

228. DADDY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

229. I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY BUSY.

230. IN SCHOOL TODAY.

231. GOD, I'M REALLY IN A K-HOLE.

232. SNITCH ON MY LOCKER MATE

233. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

234. I THOUGHT WELL, "ALL RIGHT."

235. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE SHE'S DANGEROUS AND DIFFERENT.

236. THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME.

237. HEY, POPS, CAN I BORROW THE CAR WHEN YOU'RE DONE TUNING IT?

238. THANKS.

239. OHHHHH MAN, I ALMOST FORGOT!

240. WANT FIRST, JERRI?

241. YOU PICK.

242. WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

243. FINISH EATING CRACKERS?

244. NO, WHY?

245. 'CAUSE YOUR TEETH SURE LOOK CRUMMY.

246. YES!

247. OK, NUMERO DUCE: KNOCK, KNOCK!

248. WHO'S THERE?

249. YOU'RE A SNITCH.

250. YES!

251. YOU HEAR THAT?

252. BIRD TOLD ME.

253. YEAH, WELL, READ BETWEEN THE LINES, PUSSY!

254. OH YEAH?

255. THESE LINES.

256. OH HI, JERRI, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HOME.

257. SET THE TABLE.

258. WE HAVING?

259. HELPED ME PICK IT OUT.

260. SOUTH OF THE BORDER.

261. WE'RE HAVING CORN ON THE COB, BEEF JERKY

262. AND FOR DESSERT...

263. TAFFY APPLES.

264. WELL, I CAN'T EAT ANY OF THAT.

265. OH WELL, IT'S A GOOD OPPORTUNITY

266. OF THAT BABY FAT.

267. YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO GOODTIME ISLAND LOOKING ALL PUFFY.

268. TO GOODTIME ISLAND.

269. OH, WELL, YOUR FATHER AND I WILL MISS YOU.

270. WE'RE GONNA BE CHAPERONING.

271. DON'T YOU CARE WHY I MIGHT NOT BE GOING?

272. WELL, YOU'RE A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW, JERRI.

273. I THINK YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR OWN MISTAKES.

274. IT'S NOT ABOUT MISTAKES, MOTHER.

275. IT'S ABOUT CHOICES, AND I'VE CHOSEN TO MAKE A MISTAKE.

276. WELL, I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE WITH THIS CHOICE.

277.

278. I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MOMENT, JERRI.

279. JUST THOUGHT I'D LIVEN THE OFFICE

280. OF NOBLET.

281. WITH THAT REPORT YESTERDAY.

282. WHAT GIVES, JERRI?

283. WARDEN—

284.

285. PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN, IF I DID HAVE ANYTHING—

286. WHICH I DON'T—

287. KIMBERLY IS RETARDED—

288. WHICH I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE—

289. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

290. WELL, WE'D PROBABLY, TRACK HER DOWN, TRANQUILIZE HER

291. HER TREMENDOUS STRENGTH

292. FOR SOME PRACTICAL PURPOSE.

293. BUT THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME!

294. I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE JUST LIKE ME AND ME.

295. THEY'RE A MENACE!

296. I ANTICIPATED THAT YOU'D FEEL THIS WAY.

297. OF CALLING YOUR PARENTS.

298. LOOK, JERRI, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT

299. IS EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED.

300. MR. AND MRS. BLANK, I CALLED YOU IN TODAY

301. DISPLAY OF AUDACITY.

302. IN OUR OFFICIAL INVESTIGATION.

303. WITCH HUNT—

304. HUBRIS, OVERWEENING PRIDE!

305. PRINCIPAL BLACK MAN—

306. IT'S... BLACKMAN.

307. WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW IS

308. IN SCHOOL WITH MY DAUGHTER?

309. MRS. BLANK, WE'RE DOING OUR BEST TO WEED THEM OUT.

310. ARE EXTREMELY CLEVER.

311. ANYBODY COULD BE ONE.

312. A SLIGHT OVERBITE—

313. DAD, PLEASE, I'M OLD ENOUGH TO DEFEND MYSELF!

314. TO BETRAY A RETARDED GIRL.

315. HOW DARE YOU!

316. IF I HAD ANY KIDS I KEPT

317. I'D TREAT THEM A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN YOU'RE TREATING ME!

318. OH!

319.

320. All they hear is, "Who wants cake?"

321. They all want cake.

322. MRS. BLANK, IT'S AN AWKWARD AGE.

323. I'M SURE IT WILL ALL WORK OUT FINE.

324. FIGURE OUT A WAY TO

325. THUMBSCREWS

326. SO I CAN BREAK HER.

327. THANK YOU, PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN.

328.

329.

330.

331.

332.

333.

334.

335.

336.

337. TAKE HER SIDE.

338. TO BE THE BAD GUY?

339. SIT STILL, I'LL GET IT.

340. HELLO?

341. OH, HELLO, PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN.

342. JUST A MINUTE.

343. ARE YOU HERE?

344. MR. BLANK, I HOPE YOU'RE SITTING DOWN.

345. THE EMOTIONAL THUMBSCREWS.

346. YOU SEE, IF JERRI DOESN'T COOPERATE

347. YOUR WIFE CAN'T GO

348. TO GOODTIME ISLAND, EITHER.

349. THERE'S NO NEED TO PANIC, MR. BLANK...

350. ACQUIESCE AND—

351. THAT'S AN UGLY WORD, MR. BLANK!

352. WELL, IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN WE CALL EACH OTHER THAT!

353. DAMN CRACKER!

354. REMEMBER, EVERYBODY, THE FUN BUS LEAVES TOMORROW

355. AT 12 NOON SHARP!

356. I HEARD IT'S SUPPOSED TO RAIN.

357. NOT ON GOODTIME ISLAND.

358. THEY'LL JUST PUT UP "THE PLEASURE DOME."

359. HEY, HAS ANYBODY HEARD FROM JERRI BLANK?

360. NO... NO... NO...

361. THAT'S TOO BAD, SHE USUALLY ENJOYS PLEASURE.

362. SHE COMES.

363. WHAT ABOUT HER BRACES?

364. THAT'S NO REASON TO TREAT HER ANY DIFFERENTLY.

365. GET BRACES, ONCE.

366. BUT AT THE LAST MINUTE

367. I HAD PERFECT TEETH.

368. NOW DO YOU ALL HAVE YOUR COSTUMES?

369. I'M GONNA BE A JESTER!

370. I'M GOING TO DRIVE WITH MY EYES CLOSED!

371. I'M NOT GONNA WEAR ANY UNDERWEAR!

372. FUN! FUN! FUN!

373.

374. OH, CLAWSON, I DON'T NEED GOODTIME ISLAND

375. AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU.

376. WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

377. YOU'VE SUCCEEDED IN HURTING ME.

378. TALKING ABOUT?

379. YOUR OBSTINANCE,

380. YOUR FATHER AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO GO TO GOODTIME ISLAND.

381. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO YOUR FATHER.

382. I'M SORRY.

383. WELL... SORRY DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER, BUT...

384. SNITCHING DOES.

385. TURN IN THAT GIRL.

386. SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO'S BEEN NICE TO ME

387. SINCE I GOT THESE BRACES.

388. AND BESIDES, YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOTHER.

389. NOW, DON'T YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME, YOUNG LADY!

390. GET THAT—

391. STOP IT!

392. CUT IT OUT!

393. MOM!

394. CLAWSON!

395. YOU'VE DONE!

396. AH, AH, ARGHH!

397. WELL, LET'S GIVE THOSE BRACES A GOOD CRANK.

398. HEY, JERRI, WHY THE LONG FACE?

399. MY AWFUL NEWS...

400. WHAT, ABOUT YOU BEING A SNITCH?

401. NO, ABOUT CLAWSON GETTING BOILED!

402. HEY, HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MY SNITCHING PROBLEM?

403. I'M A DENTIST, JERRI.

404. PEOPLE TELL ME THINGS.

405. TO DO ABOUT KIMBERLY?

406. I'M GUESS I'M GOING TO TURN HER IN.

407. THEY BROKE ME, DOC.

408. MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, THE SCHOOL.

409. LIKE A ROTTEN MOLAR.

410. GOT TO LOSE?

411. INTEGRITY, JERRI.

412. A LITTLE STORY.

413. Y'KNOW, WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I HAD POLIO.

414. ANYONE, I WAS SO EMBARRASSED.

415. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

416. SHE DIDN'T.

417. NOT EVEN THE DOCTOR.

418. THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO WEAR THIS LEG BRACE

419. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

420. A REMINDER OF THE POWER

421. WORLD FULL OF BETRAYAL.

422. THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL STORY, DOCTOR LINK.

423. HEARD YOUR SPECIAL STORY

424. HE'D LET ME GO TO GOODTIME ISLAND.

425. WELL, THE FUN BUS LEAVES IN 15 MINUTES.

426. LET'S FORGET THE CRANKING.

427. WHY DON'T YOU GO ON DOWN TO SCHOOL

428. YOUR SPECIAL STORY.

429. BREAK A LEG, JERRI!

430.

431. I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!

432. I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!

433. NOW, I DON'T WANT TO RUIN Y'ALLS FUN

434. MORALITY ISN'T SEXY.

435. I CAN'T GO TO GOODTIME ISLAND

436. BECAUSE I WON'T TURN SNITCH.

437. ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, IN THE OLD DAYS I MIGHT HAVE.

438. BUT I'VE CHANGED.

439. PEOPLE CHANGE...

440. CHANGES.

441. I'M NOT THE SAME JERRI BLANK WHO INFORMED ON THOSE BLIND ORPHANS.

442. I'M NOT THE SAME JERRI BLANK WHO REVEALED THE HIDING PLACE

443. OF THOSE GUATEMALANS, SUCH AS YOURSELF.

444. AND I'M NOT THE SAME JERRI BLANK

445. FLEISHMANN'S HOLLY BUSHES... LAST NIGHT.

446. I SHOULD BE SITTING ON THIS BUS,

447. BUT INSTEAD, I'M GOING TO BE AT HOME

448. WITH MY DEAD LOBSTER...

449. THAT I DID RIGHT.

450. THANK YOU.

451. MOVING SPEECH, JERRI...

452. NOW GET OFF!

453. WAIT!

454. CLEARLY, SHE'S RETARDED.

455. I MEAN IF SHE WASN'T

456. SHE WOULDN'T BE A SUSPECT IN THE FIRST PLACE!

457. PAY DIRT!

458. NOBLET, CART HER AWAY.

459. NICE TRY, YOUNG LADY.

460. I'M NOT RETARDED! NO... OH!

461. I'M NOT RETARDED!

462. JERRI, TAKE HER PLACE.

463. WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

464. GOODTIME ISLAND?

465. I'M GONNA GET LAID!

466.

467. PLEASURE, HOOOOO!