Strangers with Candy 1x4

Amber Stone as Amber • Richard Kind as Harry Link • Tamera Gindlesperger as Kimberly Timbers

Jerri is told she must help Principal Blackman out by turning snitch and rooting out the school retard if she wants to go on the class trip to Good Time Island.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW A DENTIST, JERRI?

2. ABOUT A... 32 YEARS AGO.

3. WHY DON'T YOU OPEN WIDE AND WE'LL TAKE A LOOK...

4. OKAY...

5. MMM...

6. AHH... I SEE SOME PERIODONTAL DISEASE,

7. SOME GINGIVITIS...

8. GEOGRAPHIC LIP,

9. AT SOME POINT YOU HAD YOUR TONGUE BOBBED,

10. AND YOUR BICUSPIDS SEEM TO BE ALL TARTAR.

11. ALL RIGHT, LET ME GRAB THE X-RAYS.

12. WE'LL TAKE A BETTER LOOK.

13. HI, I'M JERRI BLANK.

14. AND I'M A 46-YEAR-OLD HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN.

15. DURING THE 32 YEARS I SPENT AS A TEENAGE RUNAWAY,

16. I WAS A BOOZER, A USER, AND A LOSER.

17. BUT NOW I'M PICKING UP MY LIFE EXACTLY WHERE I LEFT OFF.

18. ONLY THIS TIME, WHEN I MAKE THE WRONG CHOICES,

19. I'M DOING IT FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS.

20. WHOA, THAT'S A HELL OF AN OVERBITE.

21. OH, YOU'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO NEED SOME ORTHODONTURE.

22. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

23. YOUNG LADY...

24. I'M GOING TO HAVE TO FIT YOU FOR BRACES.

25. BRACES! BUT IF I GET BRACES

26. I'LL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF FLATPOINT HIGH!

27. NOBODY WANTS BRACES, JERRI...

28. BUT I'M AFRAID THAT'S SOMETHING

29. YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH.

30. UGHH!

31. HEY, TINSEL TEETH.

32. YEAH, WAY TO GO, BRACE FACE.

33. ( both giggling )

34. HI, JERRI.

35. OH HEY, KIMBERLY.

36. YOU KNOW— NO THANKS...

37. Y'KNOW, THOSE GIRLS DON'T KNOW

38. WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT.

39. IT'S NOT THAT BAD HAVING BRACES.

40. YEAH, WELL, NAME ONE GOOD THING.

41. UM... WELL, UH...

42. THEY'RE SHINY!

43. YEAH, YEAH... THANKS.

44. "... THEN JEFFERSON BOUGHT THE MISSISSIPPI AND BEYOND,

45. A RIVER THAT LEWIS AND CLARK HAD GLORY UPON."

46. I'VE NEVER HEARD THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE

47. EXPRESSED SO LYRICALLY.

48. THANK YOU, CHIP.

49. YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL TEETH.

50. SIT DOWN.

51. JERRI, YOU'RE UP.

52. ( clears throat )

53. "PACKING A MUSKET" BY JERRI BLANK.

54. AHEM...

55. "WHEN YOU WORK FROM YOUR HOME AND JOHNS CALL ON THE PHONE,

56. "YOU'RE A CALL GIRL.

57. "WHEN YOU WALK 'TIL YOU LIMP AND GIVE A CUT TO A PIMP,

58. "YOU'RE A STREET WHORE.

59. "WHEN THEY'RE BEGGING YOU PLEASE TO GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES NEAR THEIR GROINAGE,

60. "SCUZA ME, BUT YOU SEE, DON'T YOU TOUCH, WHERE THEY PEE WITHOUT COINAGE."

61. THANK YOU, JERRI—

62. "WHEN I STRADDLE AND SQUAT TO SHOW YOU MY..."

63. ( bell ringing ) ALL RIGHT, JERRI.

64. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY FOR TOMORROW

65. I WANT YOU TO WRITE A HISTORY POEM ON HIROSHIMA

66. BUT NOTHING TOO... FAG-GY...

67. AND REMEMBER, I NEED PERMISSION SLIPS

68. FOR THIS WEEK'S TRIP TO GOODTIME ISLAND.

69. WHERE'S YOUR PERMISSION SLIP?

70. SHUT YOUR DIRTY LITTLE MOUTH!

71. JERRI?

72. CAN YOU HOLD ON A MINUTE?

73. SURE!

74. PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN WANTED ME TO SPEAK TO YOU

75. ABOUT KIMBERLY TIMBERS.

76. MY LOCKER MATE?

77. YES, WE'D LIKE YOU TO SPY ON HER.

78. SPY ON HER?

79. HEY!

80. I'M NO SQUEALER, ALRIGHT?

81. I'M NOT SNARKING ON ANYBODY!

82. WHAT'D SHE DO?

83. WE SUSPECT SHE MIGHT BE...

84. RETARDED.

85. WOW, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?

86. WELL, LET'S JUST SAY IT'S ONE OF PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN'S HUNCHES,

87. AND WE DON'T QUESTION THOSE.

88. DO WE?

89. WELL, WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE, JERRI?

90. I DON'T THINK SO.

91. I UNDERSTAND.

92. MMM... ALRIGHT.

93. OK.

94. OK.

95. IT IS A SHAME YOU'RE GOING TO MISS

96. THE BIG SCHOOL TRIP TO GOODTIME ISLAND, THOUGH.

97. WHAT?

98. BUT I'M IN THE PLEASURE CLUB!

99. I MEAN...

100. MY DAD'S ALREADY SIGNED MY PERMISSION SLIP AND EVERYTHING!

101. SEE?

102. JERRI, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T READ THIS NOTE.

103. THE HANDWRITING IS SO...

104. UNCOOPERATIVE.

105. LISTEN, JERRI, DON'T THINK OF IT AS SNITCHING.

106. THINK OF IT AS BETRAYING THE RETARDED.

107. WE'RE NOT ASKING YOU TO DO ANYTHING WE WOULDN'T DO.

108. THEN WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?

109. THE BOARD OF EDUCATION HAS VERY STRICT GUIDELINES

110. FOR SNARING THE RETARDED.

111. WE NEED CONFIRMATION FROM ONE OF HER PEERS.

112. WHY ME?

113. WELL, YOU'VE GOT THESE BRACES.

114. THEY TEND TO BE DRAWN TO...

115. SHINY OBJECTS.

116. RIGHT, WELL, I DON'T THINK SHE'S RETARDED.

117. REALLY, JERRI?

118. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A CLOSER LOOK.

119. BUT BE CAREFUL.

120. IF SHE CATCHES ON, SHE MAY FLY INTO A RAGE

121. WHERE SHE WOULD HAVE THE STRENGTH OF AN APE,

122. AND NO REMORSE!

123. NOT EVEN A BULLET WOULD BRING HER DOWN.

124. WOW!

125. REMEMBER, JERRI, GOODTIME ISLAND.

126. HI, JERRI.

127. HEY, KIMBERLY!

128. SO UM... HOW'S YOUR BRAIN?

129. MY BRAIN?

130. OH LISTEN, NEVER MIND.

131. SO YOU GOING TO AH... GOODTIME ISLAND?

132. OF COURSE I'M GOING!

133. I'M SECRETARY OF THE PLEASURE CLUB.

134. OH RIGHT!

135. SOMETIMES I CAN BE SO RETARDED.

136. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT?

137. YOU EVER FEEL THAT WAY?

138. WHO DOESN'T?

139. I DON'T.

140. DO YOU?

141. I WAS JUST JOKING, JERRI.

142. REALLY, "JOKING," THAT'S FUNNY.

143. DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE JOKES ON THE SPOT

144. OFF THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD

145. OR WERE YOU BORN WITH THEM?

146. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

147. SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND!

148. WELL, SEE YA LATER, JERRI.

149. YEAH, YEAH...

150. MMM... ( slurp )

151. MMM— OW!

152. WELL, CLAWSON, LOOKS LIKE THIS CASE IS CLOSED.

153. CLEARLY OUR LOCKER MATE'S RETARDED.

154. AND SINCE THEY'RE DANGEROUS

155. I GUESS SNARKING'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING.

156. SO IT'S OFF TO GOODTIME ISLAND!

157. LET'S GO SEE MR. NOBLET

158. FOR SOME GOOD OLD-FASHIONED SNITCHAROO.

159. OH LISTEN, I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR.

160. OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH, OH YEAH.

161. OH, HEY, JERRI.

162. MR. JELLINECK,

163. COULD I SPEAK TO MR. NOBLET FOR A SECOND?

164. SURE.

165. CHUCK, TAKE FIVE.

166. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, JERRI?

167. I'M READY TO MAKE MY REPORT.

168. THAT WAS FAST.

169. YOU MUST FEEL GOOD.

170. I GUESS.

171. TELL YOU WHAT, JERRI.

172. I'M GONNA HEAD DOWN TO PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN'S OFFICE AND TAKE A SHOWER.

173. WHY DON'T YOU JOIN ME THERE IN A FEW MINUTES

174. AND WE'LL TELL HIM ALL ABOUT THIS REPORT OF YOURS.

175. OKAY?

176. OH AND JERRI...

177. THIS NOTE JUST GOT A LOT MORE LEGIBLE.

178. NO RUNNING!

179. SAY, JERRY...

180. WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

181. MR. NOBLET WANTS ME TO SNITCH ON A FRIEND.

182. SNITCHING DOESN'T SEEM LIKE YOU, JERRI.

183. OH, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

184. I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE SNITCHING ON A REAL PERSON, OR ANYTHING.

185. SHE'S...

186. GAY?

187. RETARDED.

188. YES, MOST OF THEM ARE.

189. MOST WHO OR WHAT?

190. MOST GAY PEOPLE ARE RETARDED.

191. WAIT A MINUTE, DOES THAT MEAN KIMBERLY TIMBERS IS GAY?

192. I DON'T KNOW.

193. HEY, MAKE A PASS AT HER AND FIND OUT.

194. SHE'D HAVE TO BE RETARDED TO TURN YOU DOWN.

195. THANKS— UM... ARE THEY DANGEROUS?

196. GAY PEOPLE? THEY CAN BE.

197. NO, NO, NO, RETARDED PEOPLE.

198. HMMM... I DON'T KNOW.

199. BUT I DO KNOW BEFORE YOU DO ANY SNITCHING

200. YOU BETTER FIND OUT.

201. A CELEBRATION.

202. THIS WILL HAVE ALL THE INFORMATION

203. ABOUT RETARDATION THAT YOU NEED.

204. LET'S READ IT NOW!

205. ( man on cassette ) Hi, this is Wilford Brimley.

206. Welcome to A Celebration.

207. Now, hopefully with this book, I'm gonna dispel a few myths.

208. A few rumors.

209. First off, the retarded don't rule the night.

210. They don't rule it.

211. Nobody does.

212. And they don't run in packs.

213. And while they may not be as strong as apes,

214. don't lock eyes with them, don't do it.

215. It puts 'em on edge.

216. they might go into berserker mode,

217. come at you like a whirling dervish,

218. all fists and elbows.

219. You might be screaming, "No, no, no,"

220. and all they hear is, "Who wants cake?"

221. Let me tell you something, they all do.

222. They all want cake.

223. Well, that's it for the celebration.

224. I guess the most important thing to remember is:

225. they're just like you and me.

226. HMMM...

227. "THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME."

228. DADDY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

229. I KNOW YOU'RE REALLY BUSY.

230. BUT A LOT WENT DOWN IN SCHOOL TODAY.

231. GOD, I'M REALLY IN A K-HOLE.

232. THEY WANT ME TO SNITCH ON MY LOCKER MATE

233. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

234. I MEAN AT FIRST I THOUGHT WELL, "ALL RIGHT."

235. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE SHE'S DANGEROUS AND DIFFERENT.

236. BUT THEN I FOUND OUT THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME.

237. HEY, POPS, CAN I BORROW THE CAR WHEN YOU'RE DONE TUNING IT?

238. THANKS.

239. OHHHHH MAN, I ALMOST FORGOT!

240. WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT FIRST, JERRI?

241. YOU PICK.

242. WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

243. DID YOU JUST FINISH EATING CRACKERS?

244. NO, WHY?

245. 'CAUSE YOUR TEETH SURE LOOK CRUMMY.

246. YES!

247. OK, NUMERO DUCE: KNOCK, KNOCK!

248. WHO'S THERE?

249. I HEARD YOU'RE A SNITCH.

250. YES!

251. WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?

252. A RETARDED LITTLE BIRD TOLD ME.

253. YEAH, WELL, READ BETWEEN THE LINES, PUSSY!

254. OH YEAH?

255. READ BETWEEN THESE LINES.

256. OH HI, JERRI, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HOME.

257. YOU CAN HELP ME SET THE TABLE.

258. WHAT ARE WE HAVING?

259. OH YOUR BROTHER HELPED ME PICK IT OUT.

260. EVERYTHING IS SOUTH OF THE BORDER.

261. WE'RE HAVING CORN ON THE COB, BEEF JERKY

262. AND FOR DESSERT...

263. TAFFY APPLES.

264. WELL, I CAN'T EAT ANY OF THAT.

265. OH WELL, IT'S A GOOD OPPORTUNITY

266. FOR YOU TO LOSE SOME OF THAT BABY FAT.

267. YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO GOODTIME ISLAND LOOKING ALL PUFFY.

268. I MAY NOT BE GOING TO GOODTIME ISLAND.

269. OH, WELL, YOUR FATHER AND I WILL MISS YOU.

270. WE'RE GONNA BE CHAPERONING.

271. DON'T YOU CARE WHY I MIGHT NOT BE GOING?

272. WELL, YOU'RE A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW, JERRI.

273. I THINK YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE YOUR OWN MISTAKES.

274. IT'S NOT ABOUT MISTAKES, MOTHER.

275. IT'S ABOUT CHOICES, AND I'VE CHOSEN TO MAKE A MISTAKE.

276. WELL, I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE WITH THIS CHOICE.

277. ( slurp )

278. I'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MOMENT, JERRI.

279. JUST THOUGHT I'D LIVEN THE OFFICE

280. WITH THIS SKETCH OF NOBLET.

281. SO YOU NEVER SHOWED UP WITH THAT REPORT YESTERDAY.

282. WHAT GIVES, JERRI?

283. WARDEN—

284. ( nervous chuckle )

285. PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN, IF I DID HAVE ANYTHING—

286. WHICH I DON'T—

287. AND IT PROVES THAT KIMBERLY IS RETARDED—

288. WHICH I DON'T KNOW FOR SURE—

289. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

290. WELL, WE'D PROBABLY, TRACK HER DOWN, TRANQUILIZE HER

291. AND THEN TRY TO HARNESS HER TREMENDOUS STRENGTH

292. FOR SOME PRACTICAL PURPOSE.

293. BUT THEY'RE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME!

294. I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE JUST LIKE ME AND ME.

295. THEY'RE A MENACE!

296. I ANTICIPATED THAT YOU'D FEEL THIS WAY.

297. SO I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF CALLING YOUR PARENTS.

298. LOOK, JERRI, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT

299. BUT YOUR FATHER IS EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED.

300. MR. AND MRS. BLANK, I CALLED YOU IN TODAY

301. BECAUSE OF THE BRAZEN DISPLAY OF AUDACITY.

302. JERRI HAS REFUSED TO COOPERATE IN OUR OFFICIAL INVESTIGATION.

303. WITCH HUNT—

304. AND BY AUDACITY I MEAN HUBRIS, OVERWEENING PRIDE!

305. PRINCIPAL BLACK MAN—

306. IT'S... BLACKMAN.

307. WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW IS

308. WHY IS THERE A RETARDED GIRL IN SCHOOL WITH MY DAUGHTER?

309. MRS. BLANK, WE'RE DOING OUR BEST TO WEED THEM OUT.

310. BUT SOME OF THESE RETARDS ARE EXTREMELY CLEVER.

311. ANYBODY COULD BE ONE.

312. JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A SLIGHT OVERBITE—

313. DAD, PLEASE, I'M OLD ENOUGH TO DEFEND MYSELF!

314. EVIDENTLY NOT YET OLD ENOUGH TO BETRAY A RETARDED GIRL.

315. HOW DARE YOU!

316. IF I HAD ANY KIDS I KEPT

317. I'D TREAT THEM A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN YOU'RE TREATING ME!

318. OH!

319. ( heartbeat )

320. ( Wilford ) All they hear is, "Who wants cake?"

321. They all want cake.

322. MRS. BLANK, IT'S AN AWKWARD AGE.

323. I'M SURE IT WILL ALL WORK OUT FINE.

324. I JUST HAVE TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO

325. TIGHTEN THE EMOTIONAL THUMBSCREWS

326. SO I CAN BREAK HER.

327. THANK YOU, PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN.

328. ( dial tone )

329. ( dialing )

330. ( phone ringing )

331. ( phone ringing )

332. ( phone ringing )

333. ( phone ringing )

334. ( phone ringing )

335. ( phone ringing )

336. ( phone ringing )

337. YOU ALWAYS TAKE HER SIDE.

338. WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE BAD GUY?

339. SIT STILL, I'LL GET IT.

340. HELLO?

341. OH, HELLO, PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN.

342. JUST A MINUTE.

343. ARE YOU HERE?

344. MR. BLANK, I HOPE YOU'RE SITTING DOWN.

345. I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO TIGHTEN THE EMOTIONAL THUMBSCREWS.

346. YOU SEE, IF JERRI DOESN'T COOPERATE

347. THEN YOU AND YOUR WIFE CAN'T GO

348. TO GOODTIME ISLAND, EITHER.

349. THERE'S NO NEED TO PANIC, MR. BLANK...

350. JUST GET HER TO ACQUIESCE AND—

351. THAT'S AN UGLY WORD, MR. BLANK!

352. WELL, IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN WE CALL EACH OTHER THAT!

353. DAMN CRACKER!

354. REMEMBER, EVERYBODY, THE FUN BUS LEAVES TOMORROW

355. AT 12 NOON SHARP!

356. ( boy ) I HEARD IT'S SUPPOSED TO RAIN.

357. NOT ON GOODTIME ISLAND.

358. THEY'LL JUST PUT UP "THE PLEASURE DOME."

359. HEY, HAS ANYBODY HEARD FROM JERRI BLANK?

360. NO... NO... NO...

361. THAT'S TOO BAD, SHE USUALLY ENJOYS PLEASURE.

362. I SURE HOPE SHE COMES.

363. ( girl ) WHAT ABOUT HER BRACES?

364. THAT'S NO REASON TO TREAT HER ANY DIFFERENTLY.

365. I ALMOST HAD TO GET BRACES, ONCE.

366. BUT AT THE LAST MINUTE

367. THE DENTIST REALIZED I HAD PERFECT TEETH.

368. NOW DO YOU ALL HAVE YOUR COSTUMES?

369. I'M GONNA BE A JESTER!

370. I'M GOING TO DRIVE WITH MY EYES CLOSED!

371. I'M NOT GONNA WEAR ANY UNDERWEAR!

372. FUN! FUN! FUN!

373. ( sigh )

374. OH, CLAWSON, I DON'T NEED GOODTIME ISLAND

375. AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU.

376. WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

377. YOU'VE SUCCEEDED IN HURTING ME.

378. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

379. THANKS TO YOUR OBSTINANCE,

380. YOUR FATHER AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO GO TO GOODTIME ISLAND.

381. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO YOUR FATHER.

382. I'M SORRY.

383. WELL... SORRY DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER, BUT...

384. SNITCHING DOES.

385. I THINK YOU OUGHT TO TURN IN THAT GIRL.

386. SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO'S BEEN NICE TO ME

387. SINCE I GOT THESE BRACES.

388. AND BESIDES, YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOTHER.

389. NOW, DON'T YOU RUN AWAY FROM ME, YOUNG LADY!

390. GET THAT—

391. STOP IT!

392. CUT IT OUT!

393. MOM!

394. CLAWSON!

395. NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!

396. AH, AH, ARGHH!

397. WELL, LET'S GIVE THOSE BRACES A GOOD CRANK.

398. HEY, JERRI, WHY THE LONG FACE?

399. I GUESS YOU HEARD MY AWFUL NEWS...

400. WHAT, ABOUT YOU BEING A SNITCH?

401. NO, ABOUT CLAWSON GETTING BOILED!

402. HEY, HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT MY SNITCHING PROBLEM?

403. I'M A DENTIST, JERRI.

404. PEOPLE TELL ME THINGS.

405. SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT KIMBERLY?

406. I'M GUESS I'M GOING TO TURN HER IN.

407. THEY BROKE ME, DOC.

408. MY FRIENDS, MY FAMILY, THE SCHOOL.

409. THEY CRACKED ME OPEN LIKE A ROTTEN MOLAR.

410. WHAT HAVE I GOT TO LOSE?

411. ONLY YOUR INTEGRITY, JERRI.

412. LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY.

413. Y'KNOW, WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I HAD POLIO.

414. I BEGGED MY MOTHER NOT TO TELL ANYONE, I WAS SO EMBARRASSED.

415. AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

416. SHE DIDN'T.

417. NOT EVEN THE DOCTOR.

418. THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO WEAR THIS LEG BRACE

419. FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

420. AND THIS BRACE SERVES AS A REMINDER OF THE POWER

421. OF LOYALTY IN A WORLD FULL OF BETRAYAL.

422. THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL STORY, DOCTOR LINK.

423. I BET IF PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN HEARD YOUR SPECIAL STORY

424. HE'D LET ME GO TO GOODTIME ISLAND.

425. WELL, THE FUN BUS LEAVES IN 15 MINUTES.

426. LET'S FORGET THE CRANKING.

427. WHY DON'T YOU GO ON DOWN TO SCHOOL

428. AND TELL THEM YOUR SPECIAL STORY.

429. BREAK A LEG, JERRI!

430. ( yelling & cheering )

431. I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!

432. I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY!

433. NOW, I DON'T WANT TO RUIN Y'ALLS FUN

434. BECAUSE I KNOW MORALITY ISN'T SEXY.

435. BUT I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW I CAN'T GO TO GOODTIME ISLAND

436. BECAUSE I WON'T TURN SNITCH.

437. ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, IN THE OLD DAYS I MIGHT HAVE.

438. BUT I'VE CHANGED.

439. PEOPLE CHANGE...

440. CHANGES.

441. I'M NOT THE SAME JERRI BLANK WHO INFORMED ON THOSE BLIND ORPHANS.

442. I'M NOT THE SAME JERRI BLANK WHO REVEALED THE HIDING PLACE

443. OF THOSE GUATEMALANS, SUCH AS YOURSELF.

444. AND I'M NOT THE SAME JERRI BLANK

445. WHO TOOK A CRAP IN THE FLEISHMANN'S HOLLY BUSHES... LAST NIGHT.

446. I SHOULD BE SITTING ON THIS BUS,

447. BUT INSTEAD, I'M GOING TO BE AT HOME

448. WITH MY DEAD LOBSTER...

449. AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I DID RIGHT.

450. THANK YOU.

451. THAT WAS A MOVING SPEECH, JERRI...

452. NOW GET OFF!

453. WAIT!

454. CLEARLY, SHE'S RETARDED.

455. I MEAN IF SHE WASN'T

456. SHE WOULDN'T BE A SUSPECT IN THE FIRST PLACE!

457. PAY DIRT!

458. NOBLET, CART HER AWAY.

459. NICE TRY, YOUNG LADY.

460. I'M NOT RETARDED! NO... OH!

461. I'M NOT RETARDED!

462. JERRI, TAKE HER PLACE.

463. WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

464. ONCE YOU GET TO GOODTIME ISLAND?

465. I'M GONNA GET LAID!

466. ( screaming and cheering )

467. PLEASURE, HOOOOO!