Strangers with Candy 1x2

Directed by Peter Lauer

Orlando Pabotoy as Orlando Pinatubo • Maria Christina Thayer as Tammi Littlenut • Maura Leaden as Dizzy • McKenna Leaden as Dizzy • Mark C. Sarion as Kim Luc

In order to teach students the responsibility of taking care of a baby, Coach Wolf gives each student a baby.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. THESE ARE BROKEN.

2. YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I HEARD.

3. I CAN WAIT.

4. JUST BE A MINUTE.

5. YOUR BOY OUT THERE ON THE PLAYGROUND?

6. SHAMUS?

7. YEAH, HE'S A REAL SCRAPPER.

8. MISS HIS MOM.

9. WHAT... UHH... ?

10. TO, UMM...

11. LET'S JUST SAY SHE WENT QUICKLY.

12. SORRY.

13. HOW 'BOUT YOU?

14. THE MONKEY BARS OUT THERE?

15. THAT'S TOBY.

16. FOR A SINGLE PARENT.

17. I'M SORRY, IS THERE NO MRS... UMMM...

18. JELLINECK. GEOFFREY JELLINECK. I'M THE NEW ART TEACHER.

19. OH, OF COURSE YOU ARE.

20. HI, I'M CHUCK NOBLET: SOCIAL STUDIES, CREATIVE WRITING,

21. SCHOOL NEWSPAPER, ASSISTANT TO THE PRINCIPAL.

22. WHAT DON'T YOU DO?

23. IN ON TIME.

24. I HEAR YA.

25. HEY, I'M HOGGING THIS THING, GET IN HERE.

26. SO... UMMM... OH, I'M SORRY.

27. MRS. JELLINECK?

28. NO.

29. DIVORCE?

30. SHE WAS UHH... SHE WAS MURDERED.

31. BE JUST AS PAINFUL.

32. HI, I'M JERRI BLANK.

33. I'M A 46-YEAR-OLD HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN.

34. 32 YEARS AGO I RAN AWAY

35. THE SLITHERING UNDERBELLY OF AMERICA.

36. I HAD A LOT OF FUN, DID A LITTLE TIME,

37. BUT NOW I'M BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL,

38. LIVING AT HOME,

39. EXACTLY WHERE I LEFT OFF.

40. OH YEAH... OHHH YEAH...

41. ANY QUESTIONS?

42. OKAY, TODAY WE'RE GONNA BE TALKING ABOUT REPRODUCTION...

43. AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.

44. TO LEARN WHAT IT'S LIKE

45. TEN-POUND "BABY,"

46. BE TAKING CARE OF...

47. A TEN-POUND BABY.

48. FIRST UP, JERRI BLANK.

49. BUT I'VE HAD PLENTY OF BABIES!

50. JUST NONE I'VE CARRIED TO FULL TERM.

51. THE BABY, JERRI.

52. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE POINT OF THIS.

53. THE POINT, JERRI, IS FOR YOU TO LEARN A VALUABLE LESSON.

54. WHICH IS?

55. THE LESSON,

56. YOU WOULDN'T BE LEARNING IT, I'D BE TEACHING IT.

57. ALRIGHT, MOVING RIGHT ALONG...

58. P-O-V-E-R-T-Y.

59. POVERTY.

60.

61. JERRI, WHERE'S IT GOING TO SLEEP?

62. SLEEP?

63. YEAH, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO FEED IT?

64. FEED IT?

65. IS IT WORTH?

66. 70 G's ON THE BLACK MARKET.

67. STAY BLUE!

68. SO LOOK WHO'S A SINGLE MOTHER!

69. I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL THAT COACH WOLF

70. INFANTS TO YOU PEOPLE.

71. INTO ITS SKULL,

72. THE FONTANEL.

73. THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

74. AT THE LIBRARY.

75. I'LL GO THERE NOW.

76. So you have a new baby.

77.

78. And you're a single mother because, for whatever reason,

79. your partner has left you.

80.

81. Maybe you chased him off with your shifting moods.

82.

83. Maybe he found someone younger who did not have a baby.

84.

85. Maybe you just wouldn't shut up about the baby,

86. "baby this, baby that."

87.

88. Well, the fact is, he's gone, and I for one, don't blame him.

89. Good luck.

90. THAT WAS INFORMATIVE!

91. HEY, MOTHER, GUESS WHAT HAPPENED IN SCHOOL TODAY.

92. JERRI, JERRI, CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M ON HOLD.

93. I BET YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT THEY GAVE ME IN HEALTH CLASS.

94. YES... YES!

95. JUST FINE WITH KIM LUC.

96. YES, NOTHING ENHANCES YOUR LIFE MORE

97. CAMBODIAN WAR REFUGEE

98. YOUR BASEMENT.

99. NEVER MIND.

100. YES, WE'RE GOING TO BE HAVING A BENEFIT ON— WHAT IS IT...

101. AHHH, HELLO, BABY!

102. HEY, TROLL, I HEARD THE NEWS!

103. WITH THOSE YAMS OF YOURS?

104. YOU KNOW, DERRICK...

105. YESTERDAY I WOULD'VE FOUND THAT VERY AMUSING,

106. BUT NOW THAT I'M A MOTHER, I'M A DIFFERENT PERSON.

107. IT SOFTENS YOU.

108. SO TAKE A HIKE, DICK-LICK.

109. YOU'RE LUCKY THIS DOORKNOB'S HERE.

110. I'LL BE LURKING.

111. THERE YOU GO.

112. HUH... YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?

113. NICE AND SHINY.

114. I CAN'T GIVE THIS TO YOU, IT'S TOO BIG.

115. WHAT?

116. SOMEONE'S BEEN DRINKING!

117. BOYYY... I'M GONNA CALL YOU "DIZZY."

118. I'VE GOT SO MUCH TO TEACH YOU, DIZZY.

119. AND APPARENTLY YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO TEACH ME.

120. THE LESSON COULD BE?

121. GO TO SLEEP.

122.

123. OH, I HAVEN'T HAD A NIGHT LIKE THAT SINCE... LAST NIGHT.

124. UHH!

125. WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

126. OH, YOU GOT A LOAD FOR MOMMY, HUH?

127. NO... YOU'RE CLEAN.

128. OH MY DEAR LORD...

129. UHHHH...

130. JERRI, PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN, KIM LUC'S TRYING TO SCREAM.

131. COME ON DARLING, WHO'S TO BLAME?

132. WAS IT MOMMY?

133. PRY OUT OF THAT WOMB, HONEY...

134. MORNING PLUG.

135. JERK OFF.

136. BYE, DADDY.

137. MR. JELLINECK, I CAN'T FORM THE POT!

138. EE-EASY THERE.

139. OKAY, LOOK...

140. A MISCHIEVOUS CHILD'S NECK.

141. IN THERE

142. LIKE YOU'RE GOUGING OUT THE EYES OF AN ENEMY.

143. YES, THAT'S GOOD!

144. I'M GONNA GO RUN AND GET SOME CEREAL,

145. A BOWL THERE.

146. SORRY I'M LATE.

147. THAT'S OKAY, JERRI, HAVE A SEAT.

148. DOESN'T MATTER WHEN YOU GET HERE, JUST WHAT TIME.

149. OK, EVERYBODY, WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LOOK AT THOSE

150. HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS.

151. UH-HUH, LET'S GET EM' OUT.

152. YEAH, VERY NICE...

153. UH-HUH... THAT'S GOOD...

154. YOU'RE GOING.

155. ANNE, VERY NICE.

156. FRANK, WHAT IS THAT, A BUNNY?

157. I LIKE IT.

158. TAMMI, UHH, THAT NEEDS A HEAD.

159. JERRI, DO YOU HAVE YOUR HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT?

160. WHAT IS IT?

161. CLEARLY, IT'S A MONKEY'S PAW.

162. WELL, UHH, I-I... AN ASHTRAY?

163. UHH... A SLEEPING PILL.

164. OH, I CAN'T DO THIS, I'M SO TIRED.

165. I'M SO TIRED, MR. JELLINECK.

166. LOOK, I'M A SINGLE MOTHER.

167. JERRI, THAT'S NO EXCUSE.

168. SWIMMING PRACTICE,

169. ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH.

170. LOOK, JERRI, IN LIFE WE ALL HAVE OUR "BABIES,"

171. LEARN TO PRIORITIZE.

172. I MEAN LOOK AT ME, I HAVE A SON.

173. HE'S NOT ALWAYS FIRST ON THE LIST.

174. OFTEN HE DOESN'T EVEN MAKE THE LIST.

175. WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

176. OH, UHH, OH... DIZZY!

177. OK, EVERYBODY LET'S, UHH... CRACK A WINDOW.

178. GO PLAY.

179. JERRI!

180. HEY, JERRI.

181. WE'RE HEADING OVER TO "EL CARNE LOCO," YOU WANNA COME?

182. HEY, THAT SOUNDS GREAT!

183. TWEETZIE RAILROAD

184. AT THE INDIAN!

185. OH... OH LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD...

186. QUALITY TIME WITH DIZZY.

187. YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD DO.

188. I'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU GUYS LATER.

189. THROW SOME ROCKS AT THE INDIAN.

190. OH WELL, I GOT A BABY NOW... I GOT A BABY.

191. IT DOESN'T MATTER, 'CAUSE WE'RE A HAPPY LITTLE FAMILY NOW.

192. WE'RE GONNA SPEND ALL OUR TIME TOGETHER,

193. JUST YOU AND...

194. OH HELL, I CAN'T DO THIS.

195. LISTEN, DIZZY...

196. I'M GOING TO LEAVE YOU RIGHT HERE, ALRIGHT?

197. ARE BOUND TO PICK YOU UP.

198. I MEAN, YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THIS ISN'T WORKING OUT, RIGHT?

199. WE'RE NOT CLICKING.

200. I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE YOUR DIAPER

201. YOU WANT TO CHANGE MINE.

202. DIZZY!

203. EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE!

204. I'M DOING THIS FOR THE BOTH OF US...

205. WELL, ONE OF US.

206. BUT I'M DOING IT TWICE AS HARD.

207. JESUS!

208.

209.

210. OH...

211. MOTHER?

212. A QUESTION?

213. OH, CAN YOU MAKE IT QUICK, JERRI?

214. WAITING FOR ME IN THE BASEMENT.

215. WELL, UH, MOTHER, UHM, WELL...

216. WHAT'S IT LIKE RAISING DERRICK AND ME?

217. BEING A MOTHER...

218. DO TO A CHILD, JERRI.

219. TO HAVE DERRICK.

220. HE'S BEEN A PERFECT ANGEL.

221. WAS LIKE RAISING YOU,

222. WELL, I'VE GOT NO IDEA, DARLING.

223. YOU RAN AWAY,

224. YOUR REAL MOTHER.

225. YOUR QUESTION?

226. NO.

227. WELL, I THINK YOU'D BETTER GET SOME SLEEP NOW.

228. SLEEPING TO DO,

229. AND I'VE GOT TO GET BACK DOWNSTAIRS TO KIM LUC.

230. I'M TRYING MEMORY REGRESSION ON HIM,

231. INTO A BAMBOO CAGE.

232. SLEEP TIGHT, SWEET— AND YOU'VE GOT A LITTLE HOLE IN YOUR...

233. Jerri Blank, please report to principal Blackman's office.

234. JERRI, I BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO.

235. DIZ! HA, HAA!

236. RAN AWAY FROM ME... LAST NIGHT?

237. WHERE, UH, WHERE'D YOU FIND IT?

238. MY LUCKY CHARMS

239. DELIVERED UNTO US.

240. IF MR. JELLINECK AND MR. NOBLET

241. LAST NIGHT AT 3:00 a.m.

242. ACROSS THIS TINY TYKE

243. BOXWOODS SLEEPING LIKE A LOG.

244. WELL, WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE, BLANK?

245. I HAVE NO EXCUSES,

246. I'D LIKE TO SAY.

247. IF LEARNING IS WRONG...

248. DOING IN THE PARK AT 3:00 a.m. ?

249. HMMM... THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.

250. NOBLET?

251.

252. WELL, I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW.

253. LOOK, JERRI, YOU SHOULD KNOW YOU'RE IN SOME VERY HOT WATER.

254. DEEP, TOO.

255. WHY? IT'S STILL ALIVE AND HAS A FULL HEAD OF HAIR!

256. JERRI, THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

257. I CIRCUMCISED IT?

258. THE POINT, JERRI, IS THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP THE BABY

259. A VALUABLE LESSON.

260. HAVE YOU LEARNED IT?

261. YES, I HAVE... WHAT IS IT?

262. CLEARLY, SHE HASN'T.

263. JERRI...

264. WE'RE GIVING YOU THE BABY BACK.

265. GOD DAMN IT!

266. TAKE YOUR MOTHER—

267. JERRI, PLEASE!

268. I CAN'T DO THIS, PLEASE... !

269. COACH WOLF, CAN'T WE TEAM JERRI UP

270. ON THIS PROJECT?

271. BUT THE WHOLE POINT OF IT

272. LESSON ON HER OWN.

273. EXACTLY.

274. AND THE ONLY WAY SHE'S GONNA LEARN THIS LESSON ON HER OWN

275. IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

276. WITH TAMMI LITTLENUT.

277. TO GET THE BABY NEXT.

278. THERE YOU GO, BLANK.

279. YEAH, TAMMI LITTLENUT!

280. WE'D BE JUST LIKE A LITTLE FAMILY.

281. JERRI...

282. HEY, I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS PROJECT.

283. HA, YEAH, ME TOO.

284. BOY, TAMMI, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A GREAT MOMMY.

285. THE HIPS FOR IT.

286. SUPPOSED TO DO FIRST?

287. WELL, I THOUGHT WE'D GO GET SOME POPCORN SHRIMP,

288. THEN, UH, MAYBE, UH, GO PICK YA OUT A NEW TOP,

289. AND GO SKINNY DIPPING, HMM?

290. SNAPPING TURTLES!

291. BRINGING A BABY

292. IS A GOOD IDEA?

293. OH, RIGHT, THE BABY...

294. WELL, LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU JUST HANG ON TO IT FOR A WHILE.

295. AREN'T WE BOTH SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF THE BABY?

296. THAT'S A JOB FOR THE MOMMY.

297. AREN'T WE BOTH THE MOMMY?

298. LISTEN TO YOURSELF, TAMMI, TWO MOMMIES?

299. NOW, LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE DIZZY,

300. AND UH...

301. ON THE LIPSTICK.

302. A LITTLE TRAMPY.

303. OH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

304. OH LISTEN, TAKE A HIKE, BUBBLES.

305. MY OLD LADY.

306. ALL RIGHT? I'LL CHECK YOU LATER.

307. HI, JERRI.

308. HEY THERE, COPPERHEAD...

309. AW, WHAT'D YOU BRING THE BABY FOR, HUH?

310. WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

311. WERE HAVING LUNCH.

312. TO DO WITH THE BABY?

313. WELL, I WAS HOPING ON SOME UH, SOME "JERRI TIME."

314. I'M SAYING?

315. NOT REALLY.

316. LISTEN, JERRI, CAN YOU TAKE DIZ FOR ME?

317. I'VE GOT GYM NEXT PERIOD.

318. LOOK...

319. ARE HANGING OUT NEXT PERIOD, OKAY?

320. WE'RE GONNA PLAY SOME LIAR'S POKER.

321. TO SHARE THE RESPONSIBILITY—

322. I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT ABOUT THIS, ALRIGHT?

323. SUBJECT CLOSED.

324. I'M GONNA GO GET SOME MILK FOR THE BABY.

325. WHAT— AND I DON'T GET THIRSTY, HUH?

326. WHERE WERE YOU?

327. WHAT?

328. I'LL REPEAT THE QUESTION—

329. SO LONG?

330. UH, UH, I WAS GETTING—

331. DON'T LIE TO ME, TAMMI.

332. TALKING TO JIMMY GOOSEY.

333. I JUST SAID "HI."

334. OH REALLY?

335. IS THAT HOW THEY SAY "HI" IN WHORE-VILLE?

336. JERRI, I DON'T WANNA HAVE LUNCH.

337. I'M JUST GONNA TAKE DIZ AND GO FOR A WALK.

338. YOU'RE TAKING MY CHILD NOWHERE!

339. CLEAN IT UP.

340. WHAT?

341. I SAID, CLEAN IT UP!

342. YOU ARE FRIGHTENING THE BABY!

343. OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, WOULD YOU SHUT THAT THING UP!

344. I'M SORRY...

345. HMM, SO SORRY, HUHH...

346. MY LITTLE LAMB.

347. WHAT'CHA SO FRIGHTENED ABOUT, HUH?

348. I'D NEVER HIT YOU.

349. I'D NEVER HIT'CHA.

350. HUH?

351. TEMPER, YOU SEE.

352. WHEN YOU DON'T LISTEN.

353. HUH?

354. YA UNDERSTAND?

355. THAT YOU UNDERSTAND.

356. I UNDERSTAND.

357. ALRIGHT.

358. THE BABY WITH DADDY

359. FIXED UP, ALRIGHT.

360. COME ON.

361. WOMEN!

362. YA LOOKING AT!

363. SO HOW'S THE PROJECT GOING WITH TAMMI?

364. NAH, SHE'S A WEIRD WOLF.

365. SHE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.

366. BUT I HAVE A FEELING...

367. SHE'S GONNA BE COMING AROUND REAL SOON.

368. JERRI, WHAT'S GOING ON?

369. I GOT YOUR CALL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH DIZZY?

370. OH, HE'S FINE.

371. WHY DON'T YOU COME ON IN

372. AND I'LL EXPLAIN THE WHOLE THING.

373. COME ON.

374. PRETTY GOOD MOVIES.

375. BEFORE "THE MONEY SHOT"

376. PLENTY OF, UH, "THE PINK."

377. ABOUT, JERRI?

378. WHERE'S DIZZY?

379. I WANT TO APOLOGIZE

380. IN THE CAFETERIA.

381. YOU CAN REALLY, REALLY PUSH MY BUTTONS,

382. BUT I'M NOT MAD AT YOU.

383. I FIGURED WE'RE NOT THE PROBLEM.

384. SEE, WE WORK.

385. DIZZY'S THE PROBLEM.

386. PAST THAT BABY,

387. WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT US.

388. I GOT YOU SOMETHING... TRY IT ON.

389. WHERE IS DIZZY, JERRI?

390. CALM DOWN...

391. KIM LUC RIGHT NOW.

392. THEY'RE MEETING WITH A VERY WEALTHY FAMILY.

393. NOW, YOU AND I... CAN FOCUS...

394. YOU AND ME CLICK.

395. TOAST?

396. YOU'RE CRAZY!

397. PEE ON ME.

398. THAT'S PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN AND COACH WOLF.

399. BEFORE I CAME OVER HERE,

400. WEIRD WAS GOING ON HERE.

401. HUH, WELL I HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE THERE, TAM,

402. BUT THAT'S NOT BLACKMAN.

403. THAT'S A CHINK WITH SOME SPIC FOOD I ORDERED

404. HAVE SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE.

405. BUT I GUESS THAT'S NOT IN THE CARDS, IS IT?

406. LOOK, WHEN BLACKMAN GETS HERE, I'LL TELL HIM THE WHOLE TRUTH.

407. I'M SO SORRY, TAMMALA, ALRIGHT?

408. NOW JUST STAY HERE, CHILL OUT,

409. AND I'LL GO GET RID OF THE DELIVERY GUY, ALRIGHT?

410. HEH, HEHHH.

411. YOU'RE HERE!

412. TAMMI'S IN THERE AND SHE CAME UP WITH SOME CRAZY PLOT WITH—

413. KIM LUC!

414. YES, WE APPREHENDED HIM AT THE TASTY SHAKE.

415. A FOOT-LONG.

416. DID HE, UH... DID HE SAY ANYTHING?

417. OH YES, PLENTY.

418. UNINTELLIGIBLE JABBER OF HIS.

419. ANYWAY, KIM LUC AND TAMMI TRIED SELLING DIZZY TO THE UH...

420. TO THE BLACK MARKET.

421. I'M SO GLAD YOU CAUGHT HIM, 'CAUSE TAMMI'S IN THERE NOW,

422. SHE'S HIGH.

423. RUN OFF WITH HER.

424. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE, PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN.

425. WHAT'S ALL THE COMMOTION OUT HERE?

426. NOBLET, JELLINECK, I'M GLAD YOU GOT MY MESSAGE.

427. MESSAGE?

428. PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN, THANK THE LORD YOU'RE HERE.

429. PLOT WITH KIM LUC

430. THE BLACK MARKET!

431. I'M SORRY, TAMMI, THAT STORY SOUNDS PRETTY FLIMSY

432. THE SECOND TIME AROUND.

433. NOBLET, JELLINECK, CART THEM AWAY.

434. GOES BACK TO MOTHER.

435. I'M THRILLED.

436. UH, I'LL SURE MISS TAMMI, THOUGH.

437. BEING A SINGLE MOTHER

438. WHEN I WAS THE FATHER.

439. WHAT'S THAT, JERRI?

440. I WAS JUST SAYING THAT IT'S EASIER BEING A SINGLE MOTHER

441. NOR THE MOTHER.

442. THAT'S THE LESSON, JERRI, CONGRATULATIONS!

443. NOBODY'S EVER LEARNED THE LESSON BY DAY THREE.

444. UNFIT FOR MOTHERHOOD.

445. I'D LIKE TO THINK SO.

446. WELL, LET'S TAKE THIS BABY BACK

447. TO SOME OTHER STUDENTS

448. AS EQUALLY UNFIT.

449. DADDY!

450. GO ON HOME, JERRI BLANK, YOU'VE HAD A LONG DAY.

451. STRIKES ME AS ODD...

452. WHY WOULD TAMMI CALL US,

453. IN EFFECT, ALERTING US TO HER EVIL DEED?

454. WITH HER CRIME?

455. WORKS FOR ME, GOOD NIGHT.

456. AHHH, I MISS FLORIDA.

457. WELL, THINGS ARE PRETTY MUCH BACK TO NORMAL AROUND HERE.

458. 5 TO 10 FOR RACKETEERING.

459. AND AS FOR DIZZY, WELL,

460. HE'S STILL GETTING PASSED FROM STUDENT TO STUDENT.

461. OLDER AND OLDER.

462. AND I'M HAUNTED BY ONE SAD FACT—

463. DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

464. RED-HEADED SPITFIRE TAMMI LITTLENUT,

465. WELL, LET'S JUST SAY...

466. MATCHES THE DRAPES.

467. MMM!