1. I'VE GRADED
YOUR TERM PAPERS.
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2. A "D"!
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3. THANK YOU,
MR. NOBLET!
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4. DON'T THANK ME, JERRI.
YOU EARNED IT.
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5. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU PULLED IT
TOGETHER, BUT GOOD FOR YOU.
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6. ON THE FINAL EXAM
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7. AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'LL BE
MOVING ON TO SOPHOMORE YEAR.
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8. A "D"...
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9.
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10. HOLD ON A MINUTE, JERRI.
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11. I'VE GOT SOMETHING
I'D... LIKE TO SAY.
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12. ROLLER COASTER OF A YEAR,
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13. AND I'VE BEEN PRETTY TOUGH
ON YOU AT TIMES,
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14. AND I'M SURE YOU
THINK THAT I HATE YOU.
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15. TO KNOW...
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16. THAT I HATE YOU.
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17. I HATE YOU TOO,
MR. NOBLET.
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18. SHOULDN'T HUG.
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19. YEAH, PROBABLY NOT.
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20. OKAY, WHY DON'T
YOU RUN ALONG.
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21. HI, I'M JERRI BLANK,
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22. AND I'M A 46-YEAR-OLD
HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN.
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23. OOH! HA, HA, HA...
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24. A 46-YEAR-OLD
HIGH SCHOOL SOPHOMORE
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25. THESE GRADES UP.
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26. LOCK THE DOOR.
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27.
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28. I'M GONNA
PASS MY EXAMS
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29. SPEND ALL SUMMER
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30. SANTA'S PLAYLAND.
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31. HEY, I FIGURED OUT A WAY TO
DERAIL THE TODDLER TRAIN!
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32. THOSE YOUNGSTERS SPILL.
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33. JERRI!
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34.
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35. FOCUS!
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36. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW
HOW TO HAVE FUN.
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37. HEY...
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38. THE KUNG FU SCHOOL?
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39. MY MASTER.
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40. BY MY HAND.
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41. HEH HEH HEH.
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42. ARE CREEPS.
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43. I DON'T KNOW...
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44. I THINK THEY'RE
KINDA... SEXY.
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45. THOSE DOPERS, JERRI,
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46. THEY'RE CAREER FRESHMEN.
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47. I'D HATE TO SEE YOU
GETTIN' MIXED UP
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48. IN THE WRONG CROWD.
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49. OH, YEAH...
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50. YEAH, MAYBE
YOU'RE RIGHT.
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51. OKAY, C'MON, ORLANDO,
BRING IT ON!
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52. LET'S GO, TRISH!
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53. ARM OUT, BACK UP!
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54. YOU HEARD ME, GRIND THAT PELVIS
INTO THE LEATHER AND SMACK IT...
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55. SMACK IT... SMACK IT!
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56. OK... I'M DONE.
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57. NEXT!
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58. C'MON, C'MON,
NEXT UP, LET'S GO!
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59. AND RIDE IT...
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60. WAY TO SMACK IT.
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61. THANKS, I TRY.
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62. I LIKE YOUR STYLE.
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63. CAN I GET
SOME WATER?
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64. I'M A LITTLE DRY.
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65. I'M PLENTY WET...
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66. HEH HEH HEH,
SERIOUSLY.
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67. YOU'RE FUNNY, JERRI.
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68. YEAH?
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69. C'MON...
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70. SOMETHING.
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71. BACK AT 'CHA.
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72. YEAH, CLAMP, CLAMP, TIGHTEN!
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73. SO WHO GOES FIRST?
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74. CHECK IT OUT.
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75. UMMM!
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76. THAT'S QUITE A
HUMIDOR YOU GOT THERE.
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77.
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78. UMM...
"SKUNK WEED."
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79. WANNA HIT?
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80. NO, I'M NOT
INTO POT.
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81. ARE YOU SURE?
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82. OKAY, LET'S
BURN IT DOWN.
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83. CLOSE YOUR EYES, JERRI.
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84. WHAT DO YOU SEE?
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85.
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86. NOTHING UNUSUAL.
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87.
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88. OHH GOD, I SEE
A CARNIVAL OF COLORS!
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89. AND GRAYS...
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90. UH! DON'T YA JUST
LOVE THIS SONG!
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91.
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92. DON'T YOU
JUST LOVE IT?
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93. OHH MAN!
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94. UMM!
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95. OH!
MAN!
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96. WHOO!
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97.
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98.
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99. TOTALLY.
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100. I'VE SEEN THIS
ONE BEFORE...
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101. THEY'RE GONNA
UNTIE HER TUBES.
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102. AH HA HA HA.
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103. HEY, TROLL, AREN'T YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE
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104. MAKING DINNER TONIGHT?
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105. FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
DICK-A-LICIOUS,
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106. THE TURKEY IN THE OVEN.
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107. HEY, LET'S GO OUTSIDE
AND SHOOT SOME HOOPS.
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108. STROKE-A-DELIC'S
BUMMING MY STONE.
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109. TROLL!
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110. MY BASKETBALL!
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111. AH, HA HA HA!
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112. YOU'RE ALL HOPPED UP
ON THAT WEED.
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113. THAT'S RIGHT, AND IT'S
A VERY EXPENSIVE HABIT.
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114. SO DON'T BE SURPRISED IF I
CUT OUT ONE OF YOUR LIVERS
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115. ON THE BLACK MARKET.
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116. I'M A COWARD.
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117. HEY, FRANKENFAG!
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118. YOUR BASKETBALL!
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119.
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120.
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121. FIRING IN THE KILN.
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122. HEATS UP TO 1500 DEGREES.
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123. IN PERSPECTIVE
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124. IMAGINE ONE DEGREE...
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125. 1500 TIMES!
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126. OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU
BRING YOUR PROJECTS BY.
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127. WE'LL SET THEM
ON THIS SLATE.
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128. OH PEPPER, A TURTLE,
VERY NICE!
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129. WE'VE GOT SOME DICE—
THOSE ARE FUN...
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130. GOT THERE, JERRI?
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131. LET'S JUST SAY...
IT'S A BONG.
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132. HMM... NO CARPAL,
INTERESTING.
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133. OKAY, AS SOON AS
THESE ARE BAKED,
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134. WE'LL GLAZE THEM!
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135. THEY'RE BAKED
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136. WE'LL GET BAKED.
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137. AH, HA HA HA HA...
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138. PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN!
PRINCIPAL BLACKMAN!
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139. YES... WHAT IS IT?
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140. BAD SEEDS IN THIS SCHOOL
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141. INTO WEEDS
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142. THE HEALTHY PLANTS
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143. THAT ARE THE GOOD STUDENTS.
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144. HMMM, YOUR METAPHOR
CONFUSES ME,
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145. BY YOUR RAMBLE.
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146. QUICK, TO MY OFFICE!
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147. FOR COMING THIS AFTERNOON,
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148. OF "M-MAD,"
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149. "MAD MOTHERS
AGAINST DRUGS."
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150. YOUR PAMPHLET, PLEASE.
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151. YOU CAN'T HELP A DRUG ADDICT
UNTIL THEY HIT ROCK BOTTOM,
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152. AND SOMETIMES IT'S IMPORTANT
TO HELP THE PROCESS ALONG.
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153. COVER IT WITH STICKS AND LEAVES.
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154. IN THEIR SLIPPERS.
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155. IN THEIR CAR.
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156. EXACTLY, CUT THE
BRAKE CABLE TO THEIR CAR.
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157. HELP THEM HURT THEMSELVES.
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158. HI, JERRI.
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159. LADIES.
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160. JERRI, JERRI, JERRI,
NOT NOW, PLEASE.
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161. THE MEETING THIS AFTERNOON
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162. IS HOW DO WE...
TREAT THE DRUG ADDICT—
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163. TO YOU?
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164. TRY TO ESCAPE?
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165. JERRI!
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166. DID I GET
ANY CALLS?
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167. YES, WHY DON'T YOU
GO RETURN THEM.
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168. THE PAMPHLET—
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169. HOW CAN I
RETURN THE CALLS
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170. IF I DON'T KNOW
WHO CALLED?
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171. A, UM... "MR. PUFFMEISTER"
AND "CHIEF BIG BONG."
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172. AH, THE CHIEF CALLED?
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173. MAN, HE MUST BE
ON THE WARPATH.
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174. SPEAKING OF WHICH,
I GOT ON INDIAN UNDERWEAR,
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175. IT'S CREEPING
UP THE TRAIL.
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176. THANK YOU, JERRI—
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177. MAN, YOU PEOPLE ARE OLD!
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178. DRY BEEF DOWN THERE.
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179. OH, I'M SORRY,
SHE WAS ONLY KIDDING.
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180. Y'KNOW, YOU REALLY
MUSTN'T FLY AWAY LIKE THIS.
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181. SLIDE SHOW.
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182. TO YOUR DAUGHTER!
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183. STEP... DAUGHTER.
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184. HOUSE WITH A DRUG PROBLEM
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185. MEETING ABOUT DRUG PROBLEMS!
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186. YOU BETTER SHAPE UP,
YOUNG LADY,
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187. YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE!
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188. OUT OF THIS HOUSE.
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189. YES, BUT NOW
I HAVE AN EXCUSE!
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190. WELL, I'LL
SEE YA LATER.
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191.
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192. HEY, DO YOU KNOW
WHERE I UH—
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193. SOME BIG FAT DOOBIES?
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194. WHAT?
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195. WELL, I WAS, UH,
Y'KNOW LOOKING TO
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196. WITH MARY JANE,
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197. HER TRAVEL AGENT?
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198. ARE YOU A COP?
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199. WHAT?
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200. THE LIST, MISTER—
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201. IN THIS AREA.
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202. SO ALRIGHT...
AS YOU WERE.
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203. I'LL SEE YOU
IN SPANISH... SO—
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204. We have a 3-11 in progress, on the corner of 5th and...
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205. I THOUGHT I'D TEACH CLASS TODAY
IN A MORE INFORMAL SETTING.
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206. THE BREEZE A BIT, YOU KNOW, RAP.
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207. NOW, THERE'S THIS HERB...
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208. THAT'S BEEN
AFFECTING MY CLASS.
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209. BY IT'S ANCIENT DUTCH NAME...
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210. MARI-JUANA.
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211.
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212. YEAH, EVERYTHING'S
FUNNY ON POT, ISN'T IT?
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213. EVERYTHING ABOUT IT?
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214. TRIED IT?
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215. YEAH... I USED TO
GET STONED.
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216. I WAS PRETTY DOWN.
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217. MY PLUGS WEREN'T TAKING,
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218. BRUTALLY MURDERED, AND...
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219. I WAS FAT.
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220. SO I TURNED TO POT, HOPING
IT WOULD SOLVE MY PROBLEMS.
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221. BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING,
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222. THE ONLY THING IT FIXED...
WAS MY LIFE.
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223. YOU CAN'T LAY
THAT ON POT.
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224. WHY NOT?
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225. I KNOW IT FEELS GOOD.
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226. I KNOW WE'VE ALL READ THE
"SCIENTIFIC STUDIES" THAT SAY
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227. IT'S NON-ADDICTIVE AND THAT
THERE ARE NO SIDE-EFFECTS.
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228. DON'T SMOKE POT,
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229. WE DO!
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230. AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!
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231. LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING IS IF YOU
STILL WANT TO SMOKE POT,
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232. SPEND A LOT OF TIME...
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233. LAUGHING WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
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234. THINK ABOUT IT.
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235. 55 MINUTES LEFT FOR CLASS,
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236. SO I THOUGHT I'D PLAY
A LITTLE MOUNTAIN MUSIC
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237. I WROTE ON THE BEACH.
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238. MAYBE MR. JELLINECK'S RIGHT.
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239. MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T
SMOKE POT ANYMORE.
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240. NO WAY!
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241. FREES YOUR MIND!
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242. YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT,
SPARK THAT SPLEEF.
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243. I WANNA GET HIGH!
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244. I'LL SEE YOU AFTER CLASS.
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245. WELL, WELL, WELL,
WHAT DO WE'VE GOT HERE?
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246. IT'S A BAKE SALE.
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247. WE'RE RAISING MONEY
FOR BLIND CHILDREN.
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248. OH SURE,
AREN'T WE ALL.
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249. BOY, I SURE GOT
THE MUNCHIES.
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250. A BROWNIE 'BOUT NOW.
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251. I HAVE THE MUNCHIES,
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252. I SHOULD CHOOSE?
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253. GOES, WHERE SHE STOPS...
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254. HOW 'BOUT THIS ONE!
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255. YOU WANT, OFFICER.
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256. HAH, HAH... GOOD ONE.
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257. SURE, YEAH.
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258. PAY FOR THAT?
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259. OH SURE, YEAH.
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260. HEY, OF COURSE I'M
GONNA PAY FOR IT.
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261. I'M A STUDENT
JUST LIKE YOU.
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262. NICE BADGE.
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263. WHERE'D YOU GET IT?
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264. UH... I-I JUST—
I JUST DON'T REMEMBER.
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265. IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT.
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266. HMM... I LOVE
FREE SAMPLES!
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267. STUDENT.
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268. PRINCIPAL.
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269. "A+," TINY.
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270. TIM, "B-"
NOT TOO SHABBY.
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271. THIS YEAR WERE EXCELLENT!
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272. JERRI,
YOU GOT A ZERO.
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273. WOW...
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274. REALLY HARD FOR THIS.
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275. DIDN'T I?
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276. I DON'T KNOW, JERRI,
UH, BUT,
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277. TO THE QUESTION,
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278. "WHAT WAS THE
MAGNA CARTA?"
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279. "PLANET ZOOT."
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280. HA HA HA!
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281. TO THE QUERY,
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282. "WHAT WAS THE CAPITAL OF FRANCE
DURING THE NAZI OCCUPATION?"
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283. YOU TRACED YOUR HAND.
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284. OH YEAH... I DREW A
BEAK ON THE THUMB THERE.
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285. OH, IT'S A TURKEY!
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286. DURING THE HOLIDAYS.
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287. IT WAS YESTERDAY, JERRI.
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288. OH.
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289. JERRI, LISTEN.
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290. SAY THIS IN PRIVATE
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291. THAT IT WOULDN'T BE
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292. SUFFICIENTLY HUMILIATING.
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293. YOU FAIL.
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294. YOU FAIL FRESHMAN YEAR.
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295. HUH?
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296. I'M SAYING YOU FAIL.
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297. I CAN'T DO THIS YEAR
ALL OVER AGAIN.
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298. TO TEACH YOU,
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299. SO I'M GONNA BE
GIVING YOU A MAKE-UP EXAM
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300. AT 7:00 a.m.
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301. OH, C'MON, 7:00 a.m. !
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302. 7:00 a.m. !
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303. FOR A HAPPY LIFE,
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304. I'D GO STUDY.
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305. OKAY, EVERYBODY, THAT
DOES IT FOR FRESHMAN YEAR.
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306. IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE
TEACHING YOU,
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307. HAVE 15 MINUTES...
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308. WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST GO
AND... WAIT A SECOND!
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309. YEAH, I'M SORRY.
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310. OKAY, SIT DOWN.
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311. UMMM...
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312. FOUGHT IN 1840...
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313. TO 1842,
BETWEEN THE CHINESE—
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314. SORRY, I'M LATE.
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315. DO I KNOW YOU?
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316. NEW STUDENT.
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317. JUST TRANSFERRED IN.
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318. OF SCHOOL?
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319. ON THE BOARD?
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320. I DID.
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321. WE'RE STUDYING THE...
OPIUM WARS.
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322. OKAY, CLASS DISMISSED.
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323. YOU CAN ALL GO NOW.
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324. WAIT A SECOND, YOU CAN'T
DISMISS MY CLASS.
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325. AAAHH! YAAAHHHH!
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326. OHH! OHHH!
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327. OKAY, EVERYBODY OUT.
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328. CLASS DISMISSED,
HAVE A GOOD SUMMER.
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329. MY EYES... ARRRGHH!
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330. ALL RIGHT, JERRI, YOU HAVE ONE
NIGHT TO PREPARE FOR THIS TEST.
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331. ARE YOU READY FOR IT?
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332. ABSOLUTELY.
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333. WHAT'S IT ON?
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334. NOBLET'S CLASS.
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335. RIGHT, NOBLET...
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336. WHAT DOES HE TEACH?
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337. AMERICAN HISTORY.
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338. ALRIGHT.
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339. LET'S START WITH
THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE.
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340. THE LAND PURCHASED?
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341. LOUISIANA.
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342. NO, JERRI.
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343. DID THE UNITED STATES
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344. PURCHASE LOUISIANA?
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345. I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT.
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346. NAMED, UH, BATON ROUGE.
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347. BATON ROUGE!
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348. NO, JERRI,
WHEN I SAY "HINT,"
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349. THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I'M GIVING YOU THE ANSWER.
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350. ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, IT JUST
THREW ME FOR A SECOND...
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351. BATON ROUGE...
BATON ROUGE...
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352. LOUISIANA!
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353. NO, JERRI.
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354. C'MON, OR, YOU GOTTA
GIVE ME THAT ONE.
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355. NO, I DON'T, JERRI,
AND NEITHER WILL NOBLET!
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356.
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357. TRISH!
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358. JERRI, I KNOW YOU GOTTA
STUDY AND EVERYTHING,
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359. THROWING A WAR COUNCIL
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360. IN HIS OLD LADY'S BASEMENT.
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361. NO WAY!
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362. WE'RE GONNA PASS
THE PEACE PIPE.
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363. YOU GOTTA BE THERE.
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364. OH LOOK, I GOTTA
STUDY FOR A TEST.
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365. WE'LL HELP YOU STUDY!
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366. I'LL WAIT FOR YOU
AT SCHOOL TOMORROW, JERRI.
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367. I'LL BE THERE.
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368. DON'T GET HIGH
TONIGHT, JERRI.
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369. I PROMISE I WON'T.
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370. HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA...
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371. GODDAMN, THAT'S
GOTTA BE TIGHT!
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372.
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373. MY BEST FRIENDS...
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374. OWWWW...
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375. HUHH!
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376. HOW'D YOUR TEST
GO, JERRI?
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377. JEEZ... I'M ON MY WAY
RIGHT NOW.
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378. IT'S NOON, JERRI.
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379. OH NO... RIGHT.
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380. YOU'RE THINKING,
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381. AND I DIDN'T GET
HIGH LAST NIGHT.
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382. YOU LOOK HIGH, JERRI.
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383. ARE YOU HIGH NOW?
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384. WHAT? AM I HIGH?
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385. YOU'RE ASKING ME
IF I'M HIGH?
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386.
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387. STRAIGHT.
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388. THAT'S WHAT
YOU'RE ASKING ME?
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389. LOOK, I'LL PROVE TO
YOU THAT I'M NOT.
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390. I'LL HELP YOU PRACTICE.
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391. OH NO, THAT'S NOT
A GOOD IDEA, JERRI!
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392. JERRI... JERRI!
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393. UHH! UHH!
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394. HA HA HA, ORLANDO.
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395. ORLANDO!
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396. UHH!
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397. OH, OR... CAN YOU
EVER FORGIVE ME?
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398. What happened, Jerri?
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399. WELL, I WAS
TRYING TO SHOW YOU...
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400. UH... WHAT'S THE LAST
THING YOU REMEMBER?
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401. I was... I was waiting
for you at school
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402. and the...
the rest is hazy.
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403. HAZY... OH WELL...
UHH... OH BOY...
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404. YOU WERE JUMPED...
UHH... BY A BUNCH OF GUYS...
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405. UHH... BIG BLACK GUYS.
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406. SEXY, SEXY, MUSCULAR
BLACK GUYS... YEAH!
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407. Really?
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408. NO! I WAS STONED!
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409. HEAD OFF BECAUSE I WAS HIGH!
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410. I don't want to be
your friend anymore.
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411. WHAT?
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412. Get out.
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413. NO!
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414. JERRI, MAYBE YOU
SHOULD JUST LEAVE.
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415. MR. NOBLET?
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416. WELL, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
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417. WERE ALL BETTER.
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418. YES, I'M ALL
BETTER NOW, JERRI.
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419. I'M JUST BLIND.
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420. SO, UHH...
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421. YOU'RE NOT GONNA TURN ME IN
FOR SMOKING POT, ARE YA?
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422. I'M BLIND, JERRI.
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423. WHY WOULD I CARE?
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424. 'CAUSE SHE'S A DOPER!
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425. YOU'RE BUSTED!
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426. WHO SPRAYED ME?
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427. THAT'S RIGHT...
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428. AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN!
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429. ARHHHH!
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430. WHAT'RE YA LOOKIN' AT?
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431. WELL, AS YOU CAN SEE,
I'M BACK IN THE SLAMMER.
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432. AH, JESUS...
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433. I'M TELLING YOU,
YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
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434. YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND
ANYTHING UP THERE!
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435. I'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR A YEAR!
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436. WELL, I GUESS
I'VE LEARNED ONE THING...
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437. MARIJUANA EXPLOITS
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438. AN UNDERCOVER COP...
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439. I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE JUST
WASTING YOUR
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440. TU-UH-TIME... UHHH!
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441. OH YEAH,
THAT... HEH, HEH.
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442. WELL, IN CASE ANYONE'S
INTERESTED,
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443. I'LL BE OUT IN TIME TO START
FRESHMAN YEAR ALL OVER AGAIN.
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444. I PLEA BARGAINED.
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445. I ONLY SMOKED IT ONCE!
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446. WHY AM I IN
A LADIES JAIL?
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447. I AM A MAN!
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448. FAGGOT!
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449. MY -HOLE'S
HUNGRY, BABY!
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