1. Captain's log —
I think it's Friday.
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2. I've ordered Rhodonite to do
a spectral scan of the system.
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3. Hopefully, one of
these asteroids
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4. has the Flotanium deposits
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5. we need to get our
warp engines back online.
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6. Hmm.
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7. What now, Steven?
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8. A letter?
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9. "Dear Lars, how's space?
Is it still big?
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10. You don't have to
answer that right now.
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11. This is a letter.
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12. Since you're away from home,
I thought I'd fill you in
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13. on what's been going
on at Beach City.
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14. Everyone misses you so much.
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15. Since Sadie is busy
with the band,
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16. no one is around
to open up the Big Donut."
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17. Oh, come on.
Are they still not open?
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18. - Ugh.
- I know Sadie quit a while ago,
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19. but why the heck isn't Lars
here to pick up the slack?
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20. Uh, Ronaldo,
Lars is in space.
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21. Good one, Steven.
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22. I needed that.
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23. You're serious?
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24. Don't you remember when everyone
in town was abducted by Gems?
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25. Mayor Dewey had to give
all those speeches about it.
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26. Do you believe everything
the government tells you?
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27. I'm the one who
told the government.
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28. Wait, what?
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29. - So that means...
- Mm-hmm.
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30. So Lars
is really in space?
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31. - Mm-hmm.
- Is he in danger?
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32. Surrounded by aliens?
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33. All of the above.
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34. This is a nightmare.
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35. I'm the one who should
be in space!
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36. Why does Lars get to be whisked
away into the infinite cosmos
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37. on an adventure
of a lifetime?
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38. It's so ironic
it hurts my soul.
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39. There, there.
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40. Morning, Universe.
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41. Oh, good morning.
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42. Still not open, huh?
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43. I guess me and the Big Donut
have a lot in common now.
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44. We're both empty inside.
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45. "As far
as local politics,
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46. Mayor Dewey
isn't mayor anymore.
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47. There was an election
and Nanefua
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48. won with her platform
of working together."
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49. So we are all
in agreement, yes?
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50. In the event of a Gem-related
emergency,
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51. everyone should go to
the newly-designated shelters.
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52. Me and Garnet can take
care of food rations.
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53. Anyone know a good,
non-perishable brand of chaps?
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54. You can also put some pizza
ingredients on ice just in case.
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55. That's a great idea, Garnet.
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56. We can ask all the local
restaurants to pitch in food
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57. in case we have
to hide for awhile.
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58. These all seem like
great plans,
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59. but how are you going
to get in contact
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60. with everyone when
there is an emergency?
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61. This may be a small town,
but it's a big small town.
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62. Oh, Mayor Gunga, I could
drive you around
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63. while you use the loudspeaker
to spread the word through town.
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64. Cheese on bread!
That's a good idea.
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65. While Jenny does that, I can
take to the boardwalk on foot
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66. and let all the businesses
know what's up.
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67. And as soon as we know
of any impending danger,
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68. I'll give everyone a call
on my cellular phone.
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69. It might be easier if you
just sent out a mass text.
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70. What number do I call
for mass text?
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71. Pearl, is this your
first cell phone?
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72. Maybe.
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73. Is there anything else we can do
to beef up the town's security?
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74. It would be nice if we could
have some kind of lookout.
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75. Maybe I'll pick up one of
the high-powered telescopes
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76. for the lighthouse
or something.
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77. I volunteer!
I love looking out.
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78. If I can't be in space,
then I can at least look at it.
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79. This is beautiful.
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80. Ronaldo, Greg,
you're on lookout duty.
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81. Kiki, Pearl, you are
in charge of communication.
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82. Steven, Garnet,
you call for rations.
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83. And Jenny and I will spread
the word about the plan.
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84. Now everyone is helping
to make our town safe.
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85. Everyone except me.
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86. Aww.
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87. Oh, you made
things awkward.
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88. "Sadie Killer and the
Suspects are still going strong.
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89. They're gearing up for a huge
show right here in Beach City.
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90. I hope you can make it back
in time to see them play."
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91. And just as the chorus
is finishing up,
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92. I'll grab this fake
but very realistic chainsaw,
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93. and then Steven will hit me
with the lights,
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94. and we'll all scream.
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95. Aah. Aah.
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96. And then I'll come out.
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97. Oogity boogity.
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98. I don't think
you get it, Dad.
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99. We're going for scary scary,
not ha-ha scary.
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100. Oh. All right.
I just wanted to help.
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101. Did you cut holes
in my bedsheets?
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102. "Jamie the mailman has
been making a lot of progress
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103. establishing
a local theater scene.
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104. He's done a bunch
of one-man shows
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105. and even started
teaching improv."
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106. People of Beach City, are you
ready to laugh your butts off?
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107. I am!
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108. We got a killer lineup
for you tonight,
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109. so please welcome
the Beach City Laugh Guards.
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110. Whoo!
Yeah!
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111. Now all we need to get started
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112. is a single word
from the audience.
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113. Steven!
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114. We do a scene
about Steven every week.
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115. Well, I think
those scenes are good.
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116. Uh, spaghetti!
No. No. Uh, car.
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117. No. That's not good.
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118. Oh, how about plumber?
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119. I heard "plumber."
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120. And now the Beach City Laugh
Guards will perform a completely
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121. improvised scene based
on the word plumber.
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122. No.
Do Steven!
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123. Wait, cats!
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124. And no more suggestions
for the rest of the show.
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125. Thanks for coming out
on such short notice.
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126. My sink is clogged.
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127. Well, looks like we're going
to need one of these.
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128. No, no, no. Cut. Stop.
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129. Notes — Barb, love how you
set up the scene.
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130. Amethyst, you don't have
to "become" a plunger.
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131. Just pretend to have one.
Observe and learn.
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132. Ah...
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133. Ooh.
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134. Uh...
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135. - What?
- Wow.
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136. That's way too confusing.
You could be holding anything.
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137. I'm holding a plunger.
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138. Oh.
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139. I thought you were holding a
long, skinny submarine sandwich.
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140. Pearl!
Be nice.
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141. It's obviously
much more clear
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142. if you can see
the actual plunger.
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143. She's got a point,
there, dude.
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144. Looks like
I improved improv.
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145. Did I miss my cue?
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146. Oh.
Whatever.
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147. Hello, ladies.
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148. It's me, the waiter
in this restaurant.
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149. Can I offer you some more worms?
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150. Blackout.
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151. It was better
than last week.
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152. "Anyways,
my dad is still rich
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153. even after buying
that telescope,
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154. so he's been trying out
rich people sports.
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155. He an Garnet have been playing
tennis on the weekends."
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156. Garnet, this is a little
intense for a warm-up.
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157. Maybe we could try
a light volley?
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158. This is light.
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159. Being rich
has made you week.
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160. Oh, hey, tennis.
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161. Room for one m— Ow!
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162. "In other
sports-related news,
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163. Beach City Underground Wrestling
has been intense lately.
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164. The Marmalade Boys
fought each other in,
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165. you guessed it, marmalade.
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166. The crowd was eating it up,
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167. but not literally because
that would be gross.
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168. Concrete Heat faced off
against the Wolf of Wall Street
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169. inside a steel cage,
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170. and the Good-Looking Gang
finally lost the Tag-Team Title
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171. to the Sea Wasp
and Shark-o-mania.
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172. I know you don't
need to eat anymore,
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173. but I thought you'd
still be interested
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174. in the local french fry scene
in Beach City.
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175. Peedee started his
very own food truck.
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176. He's not old enough
to drive yet, though,
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177. so it's kind of just
another fry stand."
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178. Hey, Steven.
What will it be?
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179. What have you got?
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180. Well, I deal exclusively
in tater tots now.
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181. That's great, Peedee.
Can I get the bits?
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182. Uh, why don't you
try the tots?
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183. They're the fry
of the future.
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184. Do the tots have bits?
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185. I'll get you the bits.
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186. I like your super-cool truck,
Peedee.
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187. I love the giant potato
on the top.
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188. Oh, thanks. It actually used
to be the Mayor Mobile.
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189. I just painted over
Mayor Dewey's head.
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190. It's a good thing that his head
was so big and lumpy.
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191. Yeah.
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192. The new city board practically
just gave it to me, too.
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193. It's like they wanted nothing
to do with it anymore.
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194. Everything has been
pretty great for me
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195. since Nanefua became mayor.
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196. Oh, no.
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197. All right.
I got the bits.
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198. Steven?
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199. Mayor Dewey, wait!
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200. You know, Universe,
seeing my old Mayor Mobile
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201. turned into a giant potato
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202. made me realize that nothing
is like it used to be.
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203. My old life, my old town,
my old citizens,
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204. they've all changed.
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205. They've all outgrown me,
I suppose.
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206. Well, of course
everyone is changing.
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207. Nothing can stay
the same forever.
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208. You know what I miss the most
about being the mayor?
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209. The little things, getting
dressed and ready for work,
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210. walking down the boardwalk
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211. seeing everyone's
smiling faces, yes.
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212. Knowing I had a place
in this town.
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213. I used to look forward
to it every day,
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214. just like the people
of this town
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215. used to look forward
to their morning donut.
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216. I guess these days no one
gets what they want.
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217. Wait a second.
I have an idea.
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218. "And so Mayor Dewey started
working at the Big Donut.
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219. It seemed as if
the entire town showed up
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220. for the grand reopening.
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221. The whole thing filled Mr. Dewey
with a new sense of purpose.
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222. He's really changing
things up, too.
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223. Well, not really,
but he is naming
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224. all the donuts after himself."
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225. Next in line, please.
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226. I'll have a regular glazed.
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227. One Classic Dewey
coming up.
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228. And how about a freshly fried
Dewey Roll on the house?
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229. Take it easy, Billy.
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230. You're going to go
out of business.
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231. Ha ha!
You're cute.
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232. "But there is one donut
that's not named after Dewey.
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233. He let me name
a donut after you.
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234. It's a pink donut
with pink sprinkles.
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235. I call it the Pink Lars.
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236. Even though you're in space,
there's still a part of you here
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237. in sweet, delicious donut form.
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238. You got to try one
when you get back.
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239. Anyway, hope this letter
finds you in good spirits.
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240. Love, Steven."
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241. I appreciate the letter,
but why did you write this
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242. if you were just going to tell
me everything in person anyway?
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243. Sometimes
it's nice to be read to.
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244. You realize I don't know who
half of these people are, right?
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245. Like, who the heck is Peridot?
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246. Someone who misses you
every day, I think.
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247. You know what?
You haven't met before.
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248. I'll have to introduce you
when you get back to Earth.
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249. Huh.
Thanks for the letter, Steven.
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