1. and Steven.
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2. Steven.
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3. Jamie.
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4. Safe.
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5. We have fun.
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6. So, you got the goods?
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7. Oh, I've got gooder
than the goods.
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8. Bum-da-da-dum-dum
dum-da!
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9. Wha—? A play!
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10. I'm holding auditions
tonight.
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11. It's a local production
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12. drifting through space,
looking for stars.
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13. If you need a great actor,
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14. you come to the right guy.
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15. What was that?
An accent.
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16. From where?
I don't know.
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17. Acting.
Acting.
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18. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
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19. Where's everyone else?
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20. Uh, you're the only one
that showed up.
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21. But, hey, some plays only have
one person in them,
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22. so we're already in
200% better shape than that.
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23. That sounds like
some strange math...
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24. But I'm ready.
Great.
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25. Here's a copy
of the script.
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26. "Beach City or bust:
The tale of William Dewey."
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27. This is my first production,
so it needs to be exciting.
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28. It needs to be classic.
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29. It needs to be fully funded
by mayor Dewey.
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30. And it is...
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31. Because he wrote it.
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32. What's it about?
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33. I'm glad you asked.
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34. This is the story
of how Beach City
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35. was founded
nearly 200 years ago
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36. by my great-great-great-great
grandfather,
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37. William Dewey.
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38. It's a truly important
historical tale
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39. with a lot of sentimental and
political importance to me.
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40. Well, we're just about
to get started.
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41. Uh, would you like to sit in
on the rehearsal, mayor?
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42. Don't mind if I do.
Oh, pardon me.
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43. Okay, Steven.
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44. Since you're the only one
who showed up,
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45. you'll be playing the lead role
of William Dewey.
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46. Nailed the audition.
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47. And for the other roles,
I guess I'll have to play...
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48. All of them.
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49. The ship is out at sea.
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50. The sun beats down on the crew
while they stand on deck.
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51. Suddenly, the tall,
ruggedly handsome man
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52. standing in front of them
speaks...
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53. "Crew, I'm so glad you could be
part of this journey with me
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54. as we search for a new land
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55. to build a distinguished
new city in.
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56. "Oh, captain William Dewey,
you're such a good captain.
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57. Never has a voyage been
so super good."
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58. "Good point,
first mate buddy."
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59. For fun.
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60. Oh, no.
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61. Is that a wild squall
approaching us?
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62. Surely this can't be good.
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63. "Be calm, my crew."
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64. I'll just save us with my
heroic, supernatural ability."
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65. And then William Dewey
grows into a 50-foot giant
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66. and carries the boat
safely to shore.
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67. The crew thinks he's so good
at being captain
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68. that they elected him to be
the first mayor of Beach City.
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69. The end.
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70. Wow, mayor Dewey.
That was really good.
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71. Yeah.
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72. William Dewey
is a really, uh,
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73. good character...
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74. But maybe we could bring out
another side of William Dewey?
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75. See his struggles?
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76. The great William Dewey
didn't struggle.
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77. He was good at everything
on the first try —
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78. just like me
when I wrote this play.
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79. Not a single word
needs to be changed.
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80. But maybe —
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81. Don't forget
who's funding this.
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82. Well, nice hustle,
gentlemen.
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83. Keep it up.
Aye, aye.
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84. This is gonna be
a disaster.
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85. What?
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86. It's a terrible story.
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87. William Dewey
is totally unbelievable.
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88. 'Cause he grows
50 feet?
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89. No,
he's got no character.
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90. But the script kept saying
he was really good.
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91. Exactly.
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92. How can a guy
have no faults?
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93. To be human
is to be flawed.
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94. A real hero
must struggle.
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95. That's so beautiful.
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96. And, also,
totally not represented
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97. in mayor Dewey's script.
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98. My first play —
and probably my last.
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99. Hey, Pearl.
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100. Pearl?
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101. Steven, you're back.
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102. Yeah.
Show business is rough.
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103. Is there something
I can help you with?
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104. Not unless you can make
William Dewey interesting.
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105. How do you know
William Dewey?
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106. I'm gonna be him
in this play.
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107. But he's totally boring.
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108. He's perfect,
and he never makes mistakes.
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109. Wish I could say
the same for myself.
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110. Yeah,
but nobody's like that.
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111. Everybody
gets stuff wrong.
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112. And then you have to keep going,
and it's hard,
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113. which is why it's great
when you never stop trying.
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114. When did you
get so smart?
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115. Hmm.
This isn't just boring.
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116. It's historically
inaccurate.
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117. Who wrote this?
Mayor Dewey.
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118. He wasn't even there.
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119. But I was.
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120. You were there?
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121. Wait,
what really happened?
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122. Well, for starters,
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123. "ruggedly handsome"
seems rather generous.
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124. Steven...
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125. This is so real.
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126. It's like it was written
by someone who lived it.
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127. It was.
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128. And I don't know
if you can tell,
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129. but I wrote the jokes.
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130. I can tell.
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131. It's so gritty,
so passionate, so...
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132. Historically accurate?
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133. And the drama?
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134. This is the play
we should be doing.
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135. Let's do it then.
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136. Let's put on this version
of the play.
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137. But how?
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138. We'd need new costumes,
new props —
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139. we have no time.
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140. And mayor Dewey
will have our heads.
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141. But Jamie,
you said it yourself —
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142. "a real hero struggles."
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143. By jiminy, you're right.
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144. This show will go on
tomorrow night
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145. with you
as captain William Dewey
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146. and I as
the remaining roles.
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147. All of them?
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148. All of them.
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149. Boom, ahh,
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150. acting.
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151. Mind if I have a seat?
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152. Okay...
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153. Oh, you know,
I wrote this play.
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154. I hope mayor Dewey
isn't mad about the changes
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155. guess we'll have to see.
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156. Are you nervous?
Of course.
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157. This could either
make or break my career.
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158. You could lose your job
at the post office?
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159. This could either
make or break my hobby.
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160. Acting.
Acting.
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161. Boardies and gentleboardies,
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162. tonight, I am thrilled
to present to you...
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163. "The tale of William Dewey."
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164. Yeah —
Beach City rules.
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165. Shh.
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166. Oh, captain, my captain,
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167. how long until the soft lips
of our sailing ship
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168. kiss the rugged beard
of new lands?
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169. I know we've been journeying
for many months,
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170. but surely we'll run
into something soon.
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171. The ocean
can't be that big.
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172. There he is.
Hi, Steven.
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173. You're so talented.
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174. Back home they called me
"Dewey the dunce,"
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175. said I couldn't find land
even if I was standing on it.
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176. What the...
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177. And I'm starting to fear
that they were right.
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178. What light through
yon stage left breaks?
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179. Oh, what now?
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180. It is the east,
and we are The Crystal Gems.
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181. What?
This wasn't in the script.
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182. This wasn't in the budget,
either.
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183. Greetings. I am Pearl.
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184. And I come to you
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185. as a messenger
of the brilliant,
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186. Rose Quartz.
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187. We ask that you
turn your ship around.
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188. The land
you are headed for
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189. is no walk in the park
for your species.
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190. Nonsense.
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191. I won't take orders
from the likes of you.
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192. Well, then...
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193. You should turn around
lest you fall into the sea.
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194. And you know,
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195. humans aren't
very good swimmers.
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196. They ain't.
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197. I'll just return home
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198. like the failure dunce
I am.
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199. Ugh. I can't even
turn a sail right.
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200. Why must I always struggle?
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201. Wow, dad,
what a loser.
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202. Oh, captain, my captain,
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203. we've drifted Miles
from our course.
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204. These waves are nothing like
I've ever seen before.
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205. Nonsense.
This is only a drizzle.
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206. Okay, maybe
a light summer storm.
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207. What's that portside?
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208. Lever.
Oh.
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209. Captain, it's got me.
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210. First mate buddy.
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211. Whatever you do,
don't give up your search.
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212. You're the bravest man I know,
because you try,
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213. even though
you fail so, so much.
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214. Buddy, noooo!
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215. Oh, buddy,
a stale biscuit to the end.
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216. And now my boat
will sink into the depths.
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217. Dewey the disastrous dunce.
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218. What's this?
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219. Holy anchovies.
The quadruple noogie.
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220. A move that's only been
spoken of in legends.
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221. Ah.
It heads this way.
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222. Oh, please, goddess of noogies,
don't hurt me.
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223. Whoa. I've made it!
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224. Land!
Sweet, solid land!
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225. Ugh.
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226. Thank you, giant woman.
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227. You may not want to stay,
this land is dangerous.
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228. No, I will stay.
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229. For I am William Dewey,
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230. and I don't give up
in the face of failure.
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231. That's what makes me great.
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232. Very well then.
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233. But I can't promise you
I won't interfere again.
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234. I shall name this new land
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235. in honor of my dead
first mate, buddy.
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236. I'm alive.
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237. Okay,
Beach City it is.
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238. What?
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239. Nice to know great grandpa
was a real person with flaws.
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240. Gutsy move dad.
Mayor Dewey!
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241. Mayor Dewey! Mayor —
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242. one for you,
and one for you...
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243. Excuse me.
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244. If I could have a moment
with the talent.
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245. Oh.
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246. Jamie.
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247. Oh, yeah.
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248. Fantastic work.
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249. I loved the message.
"Vote mayor Dewey."
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250. How about I offer
you another role —
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251. lead director of Beach City
community theater.
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252. You could put on
more plays —
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253. as long as the budget
allows it.
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254. Uh, thank you, sir.
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255. A lot of the credit
should go to Pearl.
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256. You could say she was
an "inside source."
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257. I am a gem
of many talents —
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258. a dedication to fact
is just one of them.
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259. Thank you for preserving
my legacy.
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260. Oh, what's 200 years
between friends.
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261. Well...
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262. I must be off then
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263. to bask in the adulation
of my constituents.
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264. You know, I don't remember
there being a campaign slogan
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265. at the end of that story.
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266. Art doesn't always
need a reason, Pearl.
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267. Sometimes it's just gotta
make the audience happy.
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268. That's why you always
end on a joke.
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