Steven Universe 1x22

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Steven needs a musical partner for an upcoming show, so he uses a time travel device to recruit himself as the perfect bandmate.

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!req Steven Universe 1x22 [02:32]
!req Steven Universe 1x22 [Steven Universe 1x22]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req Steven Universe 1x22 [10-11]; !req Steven Universe 1x22 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. 1x22 - "Steven and the Stevens"

2. - Hey! How 'bout this one here? - What one?

3. This little one! It's adorb-able.

4. Steven, the legendary glass of time

5. won't be nearly so small and insignificant.

6. It'll be beautiful and grand, like this one!

7. - I think it's this one. - Whoa!

8. You mean the biggest one?

9. How are we even supposed to get that back to the warp pad?

10. - I can carry it. - Wait!

11. We need to be careful which one we touch!

12. You remember what happened last time we were here.

13. - What happened? - Hey, guys!

14. I'm makin' the call, and it's this janky one here!

15. Amethyst!

16. Uh... Nope, it wasn't.

17. - Look out! - Whoa! Ugh!

18. We don't have much time!

19. - Amethyst, come on! - Steven!

20. W-Where do you think you're going?

21. Amethyst gets to keep hers!

22. - Darn tootin'! - I'm gonna get the one I picked out!

23. - Steven! - Steven!

24. My name's Steven.

25. - You're gonna live with me. - Steven, come on!

26. I'm a-comin'!

27. I'm a-comin'!

28. Hang on.

29. - Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. - Gotcha.

30. Well done, Garnet!

31. Hot potato!

32. - We're doing that again, right? - Unfortunately, we'll

33. have to wait another hundred years for the

34. sea shrine to reform 'cause somebody couldn't

35. keep their hands to themselves.

36. You have a lobster on your butt.

37. Huh? Eee!

38. Beach-a-palooza!

39. - Beach-a-wha-whozaa? - Palooza.

40. That was a lot of fun, you guys.

41. I'll see you later! After you, sir.

42. Buh-bye!

43. Yep.

44. - Mm-hmm. - Dad! Dad!

45. Are you ready to rehearse? Whoa!

46. Uhh... We're having a bit of a day.

47. - Is it stuck? - Yeah.

48. Why does a boat need a car wash?

49. Huh!

50. Sorry, buddy. I don't think I can play

51. in the concert tonight. I got to deal with this.

52. You're bailing on beach-a-palooza?

53. - But the whole town's gonna be there! - Steven, that's like 15 people.

54. Next time, bud, I promise. All right, maybe if you bring it

55. - forward a little bit. - Stupid boat gettin' all stuck.

56. Nobody likes you, boat!

57. Wish I could've been there to tell my dad you were too fat!

58. That's it. Just back her in.

59. - She'll definitely fit. - What the...

60. - Dad! Dad! - Hey, Stu-ball.

61. - You excited for beach-a-palooza! - Dad! Dad!

62. Fat, it's fat! Fat, fat, fat!

63. - Rude! - Not you! The boat!

64. - The boat! - Huh? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

65. - Stop! - Huh?

66. Nice catch, Steven!

67. The thing! You took me back in time,

68. didn't you? Oh, man.

69. Pearl's gonna flip when she finds out you were the real one!

70. Look, I'm sorry, but the boat's fat!

71. Oh, no! Your truck!

72. Oh! Whoa!

73. Gotta save the van!

74. I wish I could go back and stop myself from stopping my dad!

75. That's it. Just back her in.

76. - She'll definitely fit. - What the...

77. Dad! Dad!

78. What?

79. - Shh! - Future Steven?

80. Listen, two-minutes-ago Steven.

81. We can't go around trying to change time stuff.

82. It just makes things worse!

83. - Oh, no! How did this happen? - Aww, man.

84. I really wanted to play at beach-a-palooza!

85. Too bad you and I can't be in a band.

86. Wait a minute!

87. Steven!

88. Steven?

89. Steven? What's going on?

90. - No time to explain! - Wanna join our band?

91. Yes! But didn't dad say he would play with us?

92. He had an emergency at the car wash.

93. - We should go help him! - No!

94. There's nothing we can do. The boat's fat, trust us.

95. Okay, so, who's our fourth?

96. - We need a drummer. - Not a problem, Steven.

97. Hey, it's the time thing ...

98. "Steven and the Stevens"

99. - 2! - 3!

100. Hey! Great singing, Steven!

101. - Thanks, Steven! - Can I sing lead this time?

102. Well, I usually sing lead vocals when I play with dad.

103. - So do I! - Me, too!

104. Me, too, too! We all do! We're all Steven!

105. Well, one of us has got to be the band leader!

106. - Hmm. - Hmm.

107. Oh! The leader should be the original Steven!

108. - The one that's been around the longest! - Yeah! All right!

109. - That's a good idea! - Oh, ho, ho! - Mh-mm.

110. Done and done!

111. Steven 2, you're the smart one.

112. Steven 3, you're the funny one.

113. Steven 4, you're the sensitive one.

114. And I'm...

115. the handsome one! Okay?

116. - Okay! - Okey-dokey, artichokey!

117. Steven 4, what are you doing? You're not the funny one!

118. - Steven 3 is! - Well, we're all the

119. same person, so we're all equally prone

120. - to being hilarious. - No, no!

121. That was too smart an observation for you, 3! You're the funny one!

122. - Wait, which one am I again? - Dang it, number 2,

123. - you're the smart one! - Hey, if Steven 1 is

124. the handsome one, does that mean the rest of us

125. - aren't good-looking? - No way!

126. - We're all extremely attractive! - Let's go get jobs as models!

127. Hey! None of you are the handsome one!

128. I'm the handsome one!

129. Ah! No! I didn't mean ... we decided...

130. Let's take five.

131. - There's a 5th Steven? - No!

132. I mean a five-minute break!

133. We know.

134. I can't believe it. I'm so... annoying!

135. Maybe it's time for me to quit the music business.

136. I thought we agreed that Steven and the Stevens was

137. gonna be a light-hearted throwback to early rock 'n' roll,

138. not this mess of screaming and distortion!

139. Look, Steven. Steven and I were talking, and Steven agrees.

140. - Your attitude just isn't working for us. - We've been a lot

141. - more productive without you. - We already wrote an

142. angsty song about that time you made us feel bad

143. - for not being handsome. - You're kicking me out

144. of the band? Wait. Who's playing drums?

145. Amethyst said she'd do it.

146. - I'm down for whatever. - Oh, come on!

147. - Whoa, dude. - Listen up!

148. You can't kick me out of the band!

149. I'm the original Steven. I created you!

150. Steven and the Stevens was my idea!

151. Without me, you'd all be nothing!

152. That's it.

153. Steven, no!

154. Wish I could have been there to tell my dad you were too ...

155. Don't start the band, Steven.

156. It'll only tear us apart.

157. Ho, ho! We all have time things!

158. You'll never catch me, you turkeys! Ha!

159. We got to stop me.

160. I'm okay, guys. I just ... wha...

161. Too far back!

162. Huh?

163. Just take me back to the beginning.

164. Amethyst gets to keep hers!

165. - Darn tootin'! - I'm gonna get the one I picked out!

166. - Steven! - Steven!

167. My name's Steven.

168. Stop right there!

169. - Give me the time thing, Steven. - Wait. Are you future me?

170. Just hurry up and give it!

171. Huh?

172. Wha...

173. Don't make me hurt me, Steven.

174. Why do you need it so bad?

175. Just give it to me!

176. Give it up, Steven! I know everything you're gonna

177. do before you do it!

178. Huh?

179. 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18...

180. Uh...

181. Stop it!

182. Huh? What?

183. - Huh? - Look around you.

184. This isn't right. When Steven fights Steven,

185. who is the winner? What have we become?

186. - What is it? - What's wrong with us?

187. - What have we become? - We're not the Stevens

188. we once were. And to fix that, I have to end it!

189. Steven, please! You got to ...

190. Steven, dad can't play beach-a-palooza with you.

191. The boat's fat. You got to find another way.

192. I don't know what you're talking about.

193. Stay cool forever, Steven. Mwah.

194. Arrivederci.