Steven Universe 1x1

Directed by Ian Jones-Quartey

Kate Micucci as Sadie Miller (voice) • Matthew Moy as Lars Barriga (voice) • Kate Micucci as Sadie (voice) • Matthew Moy as Lars (voice) • Dee Bradley Baker as Centipeetle / Centipeetle Mother (voice)

Steven gets depressed when his favorite ice-cream sandwich brand, Cookie Cat, has been taken off the market. He soon cheers up when the Gems manage to get a hold of some of the last remaining Cookie Cats, which Steven believes may hold the key to activating his gem.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Mwah!

2. Ahh!

3. Huh?

4. Hello.

5. Where am I?

6. Who are you?

7. That used to be a loaded question, but now I can say

8. with confidence that I'm Steven Universe,

9. and you're in my bathroom.

10. What happened to me?

11. Huh?

12. What is this?

13. You were corrupted in a Diamond blast,

14. but you've just been healed,

15. and that is a plunger.

16. Let me fill you in on everything you've missed.

17. Missed?

18. We have some reading material,

19. available in both English and Gem Glyph.

20. Spanish translation forthcoming.

21. Watch your head.

22. Life is a little different these days.

23. The Diamonds have ended their reign of terror.

24. The intergalactic war is over,

25. and Earth is officially an independent planet.

26. We're all safe to explore our dreams.

27. Lars opened up his own pastry shop,

28. and it's got a real cute space gimmick goin' on.

29. Sadie's been touring with The Suspects,

30. promoting their new album,

31. and Connie has been getting a head start on college prep.

32. She's two years away from applying,

33. but she says it doesn't hurt to start early.

34. And speaking of higher education,

35. Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and I

36. have been cooking up a dream of our own.

37. I have no idea who you're talking about.

38. Don't worry about it.

39. You'll learn all that and more

40. right here at Little Homeschool.

41. Here at Little Homeschool,

42. you have a chance to rediscover yourself

43. and learn to live on Earth if you like.

44. You can forge a new identity,

45. grow your own ideas,

46. and even find your inner Morp.

47. Wait. What's a Morp?

48. That's exactly the kind of question we love to hear.

49. Find your center,

50. your very core.

51. Remember... your body isn't just a projection of light

52. but also a reflection of your inner soul.

53. Garnet teaches, uh, all sorts of stuff.

54. Hello?

55. Pearl speaking.

56. This is HoloPearl.

57. Oh, hi, HoloPearl.

58. To what do I owe the pleasure of your calling?

59. Just calling to see how you are.

60. That's an example of the use

61. of the human short-range telecommunications device

62. called a phone.

63. Pearl will teach you all about human technology.

64. Whose Pearl is that?

65. Mm, that... that's not how things work here.

66. Nobody belongs to anybody.

67. On Earth, you can decide for yourself what you want to do.

68. Really? How?

69. Hello. I'm Professor Amethyst.

70. Go on, take a seat wherever.

71. I'll be teaching

72. "How to Decide Stuff for Yourself 101."

73. Today's lesson is... there is no lesson.

74. Just do whatever you want for an hour.

75. Hey, Steven, you want to grab some lunch?

76. Sure.

77. Ah. This school thing's such a cool idea.

78. I love being a teacher.

79. No one's ever looked up to me before, you know?

80. Except for, uh...

81. widdle baby Steven!

82. Seriously, dude, it's been going great.

83. Everyone wants to come and learn how to be an Earthling.

84. Uh, not everyone.

85. Pff! Man, forget her.

86. I don't know. I... I'm worried.

87. We healed all these Gems and built that town and the school

88. because I wanted to fix some of the bad things the Diamonds did.

89. Knowing there's someone out there still hurting

90. because of the Diamonds, because of my mom...

91. uh, I mean, I know it's not my fault,

92. but if there's a chance

93. I could make it better, shouldn't I try?

94. I think you should stop trying to fix everyone.

95. Yeah. You're right.

96. Hold it.

97. Ugh! What do you want now?

98. Jasper.

99. I just want to talk.

100. Pfft.

101. So, um, how's it going?

102. I know it's been a while since we last, uh, talked.

103. Aw, it's a cute little...

104. Why did you do that?

105. Any Earthling that invades my space gets crushed.

106. Took forever to yank those puny green Earthlings

107. out of the ground.

108. You mean grass?

109. I don't know their names!

110. So what's with the rocks?

111. Training.

112. Oh. I thought maybe... uh!

113. Maybe you were getting into art?

114. That pile really complements the decor.

115. Okay.

116. What are you even training for?

117. There's no one left to fight.

118. There's always someone to fight.

119. There's just no one left worth fighting.

120. In that case, maybe you could come join us

121. at Little Homeschool?

122. No. Come on.

123. We're all learning and growing together.

124. And... and you could be a part of that.

125. Sounds dumb.

126. You know, half those Gems are soldiers

127. who fought by your side before they were corrupted

128. and turned into monsters.

129. They're lost and confused and still a little messed up,

130. but they're getting the help they need.

131. So? Who cares? I do!

132. And if I didn't care, you'd still be a monster, too.

133. And what? Now I owe you?

134. No!

135. You think because you did something I never asked for,

136. I'm going to obey you?

137. No! That's not...

138. Like all the other Gems, you use.

139. Aggghhh!

140. I only came here because I felt bad for you,

141. but all of this is your own fault.

142. All the other Gems were corrupted by the Diamonds,

143. but... but you corrupted yourself

144. just to win a fight, which you lost to me!

145. No one's making you stay here all alone

146. in the middle of nowhere ready to fight a war

147. that's been over for years!

148. Are you just gonna sit here for centuries

149. waiting for someone to give you a purpose?

150. Because I'm trying to give you one!

151. Listen, weakling,

152. you might have Pink Diamond's gem,

153. but you are not my Diamond,

154. and I am not going to take orders

155. from some weak, sappy, useless piece of dirt!

156. If you think you're hard enough to tell me what to do,

157. then fight me and prove it.

158. Fine!

159. Really?

160. Huh. Well, then, why don't you throw the first punch?

161. Ugh!

162. Ooh.

163. I guess we're doing this.

164. Agh!

165. Agh!

166. No, no, no! Babies!

167. Agh! Ugh!

168. Yuh!

169. Touchdown.

170. Ugh!

171. Stop trying to help those tiny, flapping Earthlings

172. and fight me!

173. I'll never stop trying to help them, or you.

174. Ugh!

175. I don't need your help.

176. You're the one that needs help.

177. You think you've beaten me,

178. but you've never beaten me on your own.

179. You've always been a Fusion.

180. You've always had your friends

181. because you're nothing without them.

182. You think everyone needs help.

183. I... I just...

184. But it's only you.

185. No one is as pitiful as you.

186. Ugh!

187. Uggggggh! Uggggggh!

188. Yah!

189. Whoa.

190. What?

191. I'm not pitiful!

192. Aah!

193. Ha. Not bad.

194. Hoo! Hoo! Wah!

195. Ugh! Ah!

196. Nice catch.

197. - You should see my throw! - Oh!

198. Agh! Ugh!

199. Stop laughing!

200. Jasper? Hmph.

201. I didn't think you had it in you.

202. I don't... I... I don't know what that was.

203. I'm sorry.

204. Ugh. Don't apologize.

205. I think I had you all wrong.

206. Maybe you don't have something to learn from me.

207. Maybe I have something to learn from you.

208. Would you ever be interested in teaching?

209. Tssh! At your crummy little school?

210. No, just me.

211. You brought something out of me I didn't know I had.

212. Consider that fight back there

213. your first and only lesson.

214. Well, can I come back to see you sometime?

215. Do what you want.

216. There are fundamental things about ourselves

217. that we know to be true.

218. It's important to remember those things

219. when you find yourself in a tough situation,

220. or you need to make decisions from the heart,

221. but it's equally important to know

222. that you can surprise yourself, too.

223. I thought I'd finally figured myself out,

224. but it looks like I still have more to learn.

225. Man, life is a wonderful mystery.

226. Am I right?

227. Yeah. So, uh...

228. can you sign off on my class schedule?

229. Oh, uh, right.

230. Let me help you with that.