1. Beach City ...
a sleepy seaside town.
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2. From far away, it looks ordinary,
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3. but take a closer look,
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4. and you'll start to notice
the cracks in the facade.
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5. My name is ...
uh...
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6. My name is Ronaldo.
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7. For years, I've run a blog called
"Keep Beach City weird."
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8. My mission ...
keep Beach City weird!
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9. And also to expose the truth.
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10. Most people choose to ignore
my mind-blowing revelations.
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11. But no one could deny it when the truth
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12. was pointing right in the
town's collective face.
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13. It's an invasion!
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14. Look at that thing!
It's right there!
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15. Beach City needed to be saved.
But from what?
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16. Duhm! Duhm! Duhm!
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17. Eh, I was just cleaning up
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18. some fish for a very big order
when it happened.
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19. I felt this very peculiar rumbling,
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20. like, "boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom!"
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21. And then a sonic boom!
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22. And the fish I was preparing
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23. flew up into the air
and fell on the ground.
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24. I ran outside and saw
this great big thing in the sky.
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25. - The town was under attack!
- What is this for, again?
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26. It's a web-sclusive for my bl...
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27. Oh. Uh, yes.
That day was crazy.
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28. - The mayor said ...
- Were you scared?
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29. What? No!
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30. I wasn't ... I was just concerned
that something bad
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31. - would happen to the shop.
- So you cried a lot?
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32. I don't know what you're talking about.
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33. Let it go!
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34. Dad, no!
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35. Please, no!
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36. I was under a lot of
stress at the time!
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37. - Aww. Hey.
- What?
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38. I'm here for you, bro.
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39. - Mmmm.
- I'm fine! Let me go!
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40. You can't make up drama this good!
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41. With the space
hand closing in for
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42. a high-five of the third
kind, we fled the town.
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43. But then, just as mysteriously
as the space hand appeared,
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44. it exploded into an explosion.
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45. What in blue blazes was that?
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46. I think it was an explosion.
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47. Unbelievable.
I missed it!
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48. There's no actual footage
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49. of the giant hand thing
crashing into the beach,
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50. but here's a little
re-enactment for you.
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51. Whoooooooa!
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52. Pfff! Whah!
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53. Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch.
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54. My hand!
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55. Beach City was saved.
But by whom?
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56. - Miss!
- Huh?
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57. Who do you think saved Beach City
from the giant hand craft?
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58. Oh. Hey, Ronaldo.
Wait. A-Are you filming?
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59. Please answer the question.
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60. Oh. Okay.
Um, yeah, sure.
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61. Who saved us?
Um, well, wasn't it Steven's... family?
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62. I-I think they pretty
much keep to themselves.
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63. Steven says they protect
the planet and the human race
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64. and that they have magic powers.
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65. It sounds hard to believe,
but I've seen some pretty wild stuff.
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66. Once, they made us hamburgers,
and we were having a pretty good time.
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67. But then we were attacked
by a huge creature.
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68. - Hey! You making a movie?
- Oh, let him be.
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69. It's a docu-web-umentary
about the Crystal Gems.
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70. They are c-ra-zy.
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71. One of them tried to knock me
in the face. I ain't mad, though.
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72. Mayor Dewey, who do you think
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73. saved Beach City from the hand craft?
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74. Why, young man, I credit the
voters with saving Beach City.
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75. My constituents know they've elected
a mayor whom they can trust to ...
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76. Huh? No, I'm talking
about the Crystal Gems.
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77. W-Why?
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78. Well, I'm covering the story.
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79. Cover-up?
What cover-up?
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80. - But, mayor ...
- Security!
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81. H-Hey!
You can't suppress the truth!
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82. Obviously, the Crystal
Gems were involved,
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83. even at the highest
levels of local government.
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84. I decided to go to the source.
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85. Speak up!
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86. Right now, I'm standing directly below
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87. the fortress of the Crystal Gems!
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88. I am now going to
attempt to make contact
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89. with the mysterious, reclusive, and ...
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90. Hi, Ronaldo.
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91. Uh, hi, Peedee.
Is that a camera?
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92. Yeah. We're
making a movie about ...
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93. It's an investigative report,
shot camera vérité.
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94. Cool!
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95. So... want to participate in
a groundbreaking interview?
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96. Hmm.
Only if you...
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97. participate in a glass of
fresh-squeezed lemonade!
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98. Ohhh. That giant hand?
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99. - It was a spaceship coming to get us.
- Us? I knew it!
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100. - Steven, we know too much!
- No, not "us" us.
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101. I-I meant me and the Crystal Gems.
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102. Wait. So the hand wasn't
here to snatch up humans
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103. for a human zoo?
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104. Or interfere with our
subsidized Beach City wind farm?
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105. Or thaw the cryogenically
frozen pets of the one percent?
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106. Uh... no, I'm pretty sure
it came to Beach City for
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107. - me and the Crystal Gems.
- Oh.
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108. So if you and the
Crystal Gems weren't here,
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109. we wouldn't have been
attacked by the giant hand?
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110. Ohh. Definitely not.
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111. And there it was.
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112. The Crystal Gems weren't saving us.
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113. They were putting us in danger.
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114. I felt I had no choice
but to lay bare this ugly truth
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115. to the unwitting citizens
of Beach City.
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116. Ma'am!
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117. Are you aware that the Crystal
Gems not only saved the town
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118. but also caused the
invasion in the first place?
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119. Oh. Well, no more fish
are getting knocked
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120. out of my hands, so I'm not complaining.
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121. Sir! Sir! How do you feel
about the Crystal Gems
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122. attracting an onslaught
of dangerous space beings?
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123. Do you feel safe?
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124. Hey!
You can't keep quiet forever!
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125. How can you possibly go on,
knowing that we are under siege
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126. by forces meant to
destroy the Crystal Gems?
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127. How close are you to being
done with this project?
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128. Just answer the question, dad!
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129. I-I guess it's pretty bad.
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130. But what's a regular guy like
me supposed to do about it?
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131. I've got work to do.
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132. And so do you!
Put down that camera!
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133. Everyone was too afraid
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134. to realize they were actually afraid.
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135. Beach City needed a hero.
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136. And that hero would have to be me.
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137. - Whoa, whoa ...
- Okay, everything's ready
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138. for our full-on nighttime
stealth coverage.
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139. Is it really okay for us to be
lurking around here like this?
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140. We're not lurking!
We're investigating!
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141. This is a moment of true bravery.
Are you brave like me?
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142. I'm so brave to be doing this.
Come on!
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143. Stay back, little bro!
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144. Race you back to the danger zone.
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145. - Wait up!
- Steven!
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146. Uh, hey, Ronaldo.
Hey, Peedee.
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147. - You guys should be careful ...
- Cut the pleasantries!
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148. - You're all a danger to our city!
- What are you talking about?
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149. Pearl! Now!
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150. Hohhh, my gosh!
What the heck is that?
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151. Pearl! Now!
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152. - Ha!
- Aim for the eye!
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153. Aye-aye, Garnet.
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154. - Where's Amethyst?
- Right here!
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155. Let's finish the job.
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156. This is exactly the kind of
thing I'm talking about, Steven!
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157. But the Crystal Gems
are here to help people.
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158. But all the monsters just
come here to get you guys
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159. and then wreck things
and put us in danger!
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160. Beach City would be way safer
if you guys weren't here!
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161. Listen, Frybo.
Magic beings are indeed drawn to us,
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162. but we were here long before
Beach City even existed.
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163. Who cares how long you've been here?
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164. Innocent people are in danger
as long as you're hanging around!
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165. You're right. I guess
we'll just leave, then.
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166. - Excuse me?
- Really?
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167. - But, Garnet ...
- Put your buts away, Steven.
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168. We're not wanted here,
so let's just leave.
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169. But, Garnet, we'll have
to move all the bubbles.
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170. A-And what about Steven's things?
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171. Man! Ugh.
I kind of liked it here.
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172. Uh...
mission accomplished!
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173. Uh, you can turn the camera o...
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174. That's right. I did it.
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175. Thanks to me,
the Gems are gone forever.
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176. Mm. That's too bad.
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177. Now you won't have anything
to blog about anymore.
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178. Come on, dude.
I'm trying to finish the movie.
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179. Well, this relates to your movie.
You said it yourself ...
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180. the gems cause all the
weird stuff in Beach City,
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181. so now that they're gone,
there'll be no more weird stuff.
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182. No...
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183. No!
What have I done?
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184. What had I done?
I done bad.
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185. I made a terrible mistake.
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186. This ... this is ...
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187. This is a matter of weird and death!
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188. I'm going...
as fast as I can!
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189. Crystal Gems!
You have to stay!
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190. Every messed-up
consequence of your presence
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191. gives me reason to
wake up in the morning!
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192. Without you, my blog
doesn't stand a chance!
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193. I'm too late!
What have I done?
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194. I've made Beach City...
normal!
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195. I've broken my promise to the city!
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196. And to myself!
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197. You're still here!
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198. Please don't leave!
I was wrong!
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199. Stay and keep this town weird!
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200. I had no idea how this Crystal Gem
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201. would respond to my plea.
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202. The answer will shock you.
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203. Okay.
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204. Thank you! Thank you!
Thank you!
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205. I had skillfully negotiated
for the Gems to stay.
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206. Perhaps I have a future in...
intergalactic diplomacy?
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207. In the end, I suppose the gems
really do save Beach City ...
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208. from being not weird!
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209. Okay, Peedee, I think
that about wraps it up.
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210. - Good job with the camera, bro.
- Oh. Thanks.
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211. That was very poorly edited.
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212. Were we really
gonna leave Beach City?
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213. No. I just wanted him to get
that camera out of my face.
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214. I wonder how many people
have seen this thing.
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215. Oh.
I think we're the only ones. See?
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216. Hmm.
Click.
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