1. ♪ Amethyst
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2. ♪ and Pearl
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3. and Steven.
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4. Steven.
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5. Jamie.
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6. Safe.
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7. We have fun.
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8. So, you got the goods?
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9. Oh, I've got gooder
than the goods.
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10. Bum-da-da-dum-dum
dum-da!
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11. Wha—? A play!
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12. I'm holding auditions
tonight.
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13. It's a local production
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14. drifting through space,
looking for stars.
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15. If you need a great actor,
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16. you come to the right guy.
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17. What was that?
An accent.
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18. From where?
I don't know.
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19. Acting.
Acting.
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20. Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
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21. Where's everyone else?
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22. Uh, you're the only one
that showed up.
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23. But, hey, some plays only have
one person in them,
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24. so we're already in
200% better shape than that.
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25. That sounds like
some strange math...
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26. But I'm ready.
Great.
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27. Here's a copy
of the script.
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28. "Beach City or bust:
The tale of William Dewey."
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29. This is my first production,
so it needs to be exciting.
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30. It needs to be classic.
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31. It needs to be fully funded
by mayor Dewey.
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32. And it is...
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33. Because he wrote it.
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34. What's it about?
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35. I'm glad you asked.
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36. This is the story
of how Beach City
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37. was founded
nearly 200 years ago
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38. by my great-great-great-great
grandfather,
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39. William Dewey.
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40. It's a truly important
historical tale
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41. with a lot of sentimental and
political importance to me.
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42. Well, we're just about
to get started.
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43. Uh, would you like to sit in
on the rehearsal, mayor?
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44. Don't mind if I do.
Oh, pardon me.
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45. Okay, Steven.
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46. Since you're the only one
who showed up,
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47. you'll be playing the lead role
of William Dewey.
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48. Nailed the audition.
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49. And for the other roles,
I guess I'll have to play...
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50. All of them.
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51. The ship is out at sea.
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52. The sun beats down on the crew
while they stand on deck.
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53. Suddenly, the tall,
ruggedly handsome man
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54. standing in front of them
speaks...
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55. "Crew, I'm so glad you could be
part of this journey with me
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56. as we search for a new land
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57. to build a distinguished
new city in.
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58. "Oh, captain William Dewey,
you're such a good captain.
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59. Never has a voyage been
so super good."
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60. "Good point,
first mate buddy."
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61. For fun.
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62. Oh, no.
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63. Is that a wild squall
approaching us?
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64. Surely this can't be good.
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65. "Be calm, my crew."
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66. I'll just save us with my
heroic, supernatural ability."
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67. And then William Dewey
grows into a 50-foot giant
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68. and carries the boat
safely to shore.
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69. The crew thinks he's so good
at being captain
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70. that they elected him to be
the first mayor of Beach City.
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71. The end.
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72. Wow, mayor Dewey.
That was really good.
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73. Yeah.
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74. William Dewey
is a really, uh,
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75. good character...
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76. But maybe we could bring out
another side of William Dewey?
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77. See his struggles?
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78. The great William Dewey
didn't struggle.
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79. He was good at everything
on the first try —
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80. just like me
when I wrote this play.
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81. Not a single word
needs to be changed.
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82. But maybe —
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83. Don't forget
who's funding this.
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84. Well, nice hustle,
gentlemen.
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85. Keep it up.
Aye, aye.
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86. This is gonna be
a disaster.
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87. What?
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88. It's a terrible story.
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89. William Dewey
is totally unbelievable.
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90. 'Cause he grows
50 feet?
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91. No,
he's got no character.
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92. But the script kept saying
he was really good.
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93. Exactly.
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94. How can a guy
have no faults?
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95. To be human
is to be flawed.
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96. A real hero
must struggle.
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97. That's so beautiful.
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98. And, also,
totally not represented
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99. in mayor Dewey's script.
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100. My first play —
and probably my last.
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101. Hey, Pearl.
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102. Pearl?
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103. Steven, you're back.
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104. Yeah.
Show business is rough.
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105. Is there something
I can help you with?
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106. Not unless you can make
William Dewey interesting.
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107. How do you know
William Dewey?
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108. I'm gonna be him
in this play.
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109. But he's totally boring.
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110. He's perfect,
and he never makes mistakes.
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111. Wish I could say
the same for myself.
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112. Yeah,
but nobody's like that.
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113. Everybody
gets stuff wrong.
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114. And then you have to keep going,
and it's hard,
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115. which is why it's great
when you never stop trying.
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116. When did you
get so smart?
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117. Hmm.
This isn't just boring.
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118. It's historically
inaccurate.
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119. Who wrote this?
Mayor Dewey.
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120. He wasn't even there.
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121. But I was.
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122. You were there?
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123. Wait,
what really happened?
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124. Well, for starters,
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125. "ruggedly handsome"
seems rather generous.
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126. Steven...
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127. This is so real.
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128. It's like it was written
by someone who lived it.
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129. It was.
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130. And I don't know
if you can tell,
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131. but I wrote the jokes.
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132. I can tell.
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133. It's so gritty,
so passionate, so...
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134. Historically accurate?
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135. And the drama?
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136. This is the play
we should be doing.
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137. Let's do it then.
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138. Let's put on this version
of the play.
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139. But how?
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140. We'd need new costumes,
new props —
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141. we have no time.
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142. And mayor Dewey
will have our heads.
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143. But Jamie,
you said it yourself —
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144. "a real hero struggles."
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145. By jiminy, you're right.
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146. This show will go on
tomorrow night
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147. with you
as captain William Dewey
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148. and I as
the remaining roles.
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149. All of them?
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150. All of them.
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151. Boom, ahh,
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152. acting.
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153. Mind if I have a seat?
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154. Okay...
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155. Oh, you know,
I wrote this play.
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156. I hope mayor Dewey
isn't mad about the changes
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157. guess we'll have to see.
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158. Are you nervous?
Of course.
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159. This could either
make or break my career.
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160. You could lose your job
at the post office?
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161. This could either
make or break my hobby.
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162. Acting.
Acting.
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163. Boardies and gentleboardies,
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164. tonight, I am thrilled
to present to you...
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165. "The tale of William Dewey."
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166. Yeah —
Beach City rules.
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167. Shh.
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168. Oh, captain, my captain,
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169. how long until the soft lips
of our sailing ship
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170. kiss the rugged beard
of new lands?
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171. I know we've been journeying
for many months,
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172. but surely we'll run
into something soon.
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173. The ocean
can't be that big.
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174. There he is.
Hi, Steven.
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175. You're so talented.
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176. Back home they called me
"Dewey the dunce,"
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177. said I couldn't find land
even if I was standing on it.
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178. What the...
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179. And I'm starting to fear
that they were right.
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180. What light through
yon stage left breaks?
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181. Oh, what now?
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182. It is the east,
and we are The Crystal Gems.
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183. What?
This wasn't in the script.
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184. This wasn't in the budget,
either.
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185. Greetings. I am Pearl.
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186. And I come to you
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187. as a messenger
of the brilliant,
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188. Rose Quartz.
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189. We ask that you
turn your ship around.
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190. The land
you are headed for
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191. is no walk in the park
for your species.
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192. Nonsense.
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193. I won't take orders
from the likes of you.
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194. Well, then...
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195. You should turn around
lest you fall into the sea.
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196. And you know,
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197. humans aren't
very good swimmers.
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198. They ain't.
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199. I'll just return home
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200. like the failure dunce
I am.
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201. Ugh. I can't even
turn a sail right.
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202. Why must I always struggle?
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203. Wow, dad,
what a loser.
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204. Oh, captain, my captain,
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205. we've drifted Miles
from our course.
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206. These waves are nothing like
I've ever seen before.
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207. Nonsense.
This is only a drizzle.
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208. Okay, maybe
a light summer storm.
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209. What's that portside?
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210. Lever.
Oh.
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211. Captain, it's got me.
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212. First mate buddy.
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213. Whatever you do,
don't give up your search.
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214. You're the bravest man I know,
because you try,
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215. even though
you fail so, so much.
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216. Buddy, noooo!
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217. Oh, buddy,
a stale biscuit to the end.
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218. And now my boat
will sink into the depths.
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219. Dewey the disastrous dunce.
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220. What's this?
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221. Holy anchovies.
The quadruple noogie.
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222. A move that's only been
spoken of in legends.
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223. Ah.
It heads this way.
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224. Oh, please, goddess of noogies,
don't hurt me.
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225. Whoa. I've made it!
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226. Land!
Sweet, solid land!
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227. Ugh.
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228. Thank you, giant woman.
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229. You may not want to stay,
this land is dangerous.
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230. No, I will stay.
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231. For I am William Dewey,
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232. and I don't give up
in the face of failure.
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233. That's what makes me great.
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234. Very well then.
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235. But I can't promise you
I won't interfere again.
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236. I shall name this new land
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237. in honor of my dead
first mate, buddy.
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238. I'm alive.
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239. Okay,
Beach City it is.
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240. What?
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241. Nice to know great grandpa
was a real person with flaws.
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242. Gutsy move dad.
Mayor Dewey!
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243. Mayor Dewey! Mayor —
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244. one for you,
and one for you...
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245. Excuse me.
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246. If I could have a moment
with the talent.
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247. Oh.
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248. Jamie.
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249. Oh, yeah.
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250. Fantastic work.
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251. I loved the message.
"Vote mayor Dewey."
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252. How about I offer
you another role —
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253. lead director of Beach City
community theater.
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254. You could put on
more plays —
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255. as long as the budget
allows it.
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256. Uh, thank you, sir.
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257. A lot of the credit
should go to Pearl.
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258. You could say she was
an "inside source."
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259. I am a gem
of many talents —
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260. a dedication to fact
is just one of them.
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261. Thank you for preserving
my legacy.
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262. Oh, what's 200 years
between friends.
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263. Well...
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264. I must be off then
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265. to bask in the adulation
of my constituents.
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266. You know, I don't remember
there being a campaign slogan
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267. at the end of that story.
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268. Art doesn't always
need a reason, Pearl.
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269. Sometimes it's just gotta
make the audience happy.
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270. That's why you always
end on a joke.
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