Static Shock: Season 2, Episode 4

Directed by Denys Cowan

Tone Loc as Hyde (voice) • Shaquille O'Neal as Himself (voice) • Karyn Parsons as Tracy Flackman (voice) • Maria Canals-Barrera as Shelly Sandoval (voice) • Chick Vennera as Ferret (voice)

Shaquille O'Neal assists Static as he goes after a gang of ruffians known as the Ruffpack.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. 'Is the network completely mad?'

2. Making us rehearse?

3. We only know three chords.

4. Are they both in there?

5. Yeah.

6. And one of them smells funky.

7. Kangor.

8. No problem, man.

9. Knock knock, it's the Ruffpack.

10. Hey, Rock 'n' Rollers.

11. I'll be taking your dummy guitars.

12. You got a problem with that?

13. - Looks clear, Hyde. - 'Good.'

14. We don't want to be running into you-know-who again.

15. Now who could he be talking about?

16. - Uh-oh. - Hey!

17. - Up there. - Bad timing, pops.

18. - Agh! - Miss me.

19. Hey! Watch the gear!

20. Aah!

21. They'll be stuck for a while. I magnetized the doors.

22. Sorry, I can't stay. But I got a 911 across town.

23. See ya.

24. Every time we make a move, he's always there!

25. Chill, Hyde.

26. We're out of here, man.

27. Sharon? Pops call you too? What's going on?

28. Relax, baby brother. Dad just wants us to meet

29. an old friend of his, that's all.

30. That's all? I get an urgent 911 page for that?

31. Who is it this time?

32. Another marine buddy?

33. I'll just bet this dude puts the "B" in boring.

34. Uh... I don't think so, Virgil.

35. Kids, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine...

36. Shaquille O'Neal.

37. Huh?

38. Good to meet you, Mr. O'Neal.

39. I'm Sharon.

40. Good to meet you, too. And it's Shaq.

41. What's up, little man?

42. - You must be... - Shaq.

43. No, I'm Shaq. You gotta be Virgil.

44. Heard a lot about you.

45. This is Shaq! How do you, when it

46. why do you, you never, you?

47. I met Shaq at a basketball camp

48. a while back when he was just about your age.

49. Yeah, Mr. H was our counsellor.

50. We used to call him, "The Big Man."

51. We've been tied ever since.

52. Shaquille's in town on a publicity junket

53. for the weekend, but he's volunteered

54. to do a basketball minicamp while he's here.

55. 'It's gonna be a big surprise for the kids.'

56. Cool!

57. So, Virgil, your dad says you got a nice handle.

58. Ha! The only handle Virgil's got

59. is attached to the refrigerator.

60. Zip it, she who dribbles without a ball.

61. Got some time for a little horse?

62. Me? Who played up with you? Bet!

63. No, no, that conflicts with his Good Day Dakota appearance.

64. No, then he has that radio interview.

65. Oh, lightbulb!

66. We can squeeze you in between the mall opening

67. and the mayor's fundraiser. Say, around 2:00?

68. That's what I'm here for.

69. Kiss kiss. Well, enjoy your time.

70. Tracy Flackman, Mr. O'Neal's East coast Public Relations

71. liaison. And you must be Mr. Hawking.

72. - Hawkins. - Yes, of course.

73. Oopsie. Tracy.

74. Jared, darling. Where have you been hiding?

75. 'I've been trying to reach you all morning.'

76. She's a little high-strung.

77. No, you're not interrupting anything!

78. We'll be there in 10 minutes. Ciao.

79. Guess what? They've rescheduled the photoshoot at The Marina.

80. The whales are available after all.

81. But Shaq and I were gonna shoot some hoops.

82. I know.

83. Shall we?

84. Sorry, Virgil.

85. I'm gonna have to rain check our game.

86. Yeah, sure.

87. But, hey, I've kept tonight free

88. for a quiet dinner with friends.

89. How does that sound?

90. Chowing down with The Diesel?

91. Fattest of the fat.

92. Good. Dinner's at my hotel.

93. 8 o'clock. Catch you tonight.

94. Man! My dinner with Shaq.

95. Is it to too late to have Sharon disown?

96. - Hey! - Ow! Dad?

97. You do the crime, you do the time.

98. Ah! The sweet smell of freedom.

99. And chilly cheese fries.

100. Burger full, straight ahead!

101. Aah!

102. Eat on your own time, Ferret.

103. But, Hyde, I'm starving!

104. Listen, rodent, the only thing on our to-do list is Stat.

105. I'm frickin' tired of this.

106. He's always getting the drop on us.

107. But this time, we're gonna track him down.

108. And then we'll have superhero for supper.

109. Take a whiff.

110. That way.

111. Let's hit it.

112. I still can't believe it.

113. Face time with Shaq Daddy, The Diesel.

114. Thanks for the hookup, Mr. H.

115. Yeah, pops, thanks a lot.

116. I know that you and Virgil are both big fans.

117. I'm sure there's enough Shaq to go around.

118. I wonder how he'll sign my poster.

119. "To Richie, from Shaq."

120. Na-na-nah, it's weak.

121. Uh, "From one superstar to another."

122. One love, The Diesel."

123. Oh, yeah, I'm feelin' that.

124. He's got on a lot of after-shave.

125. - But he's in there, alright. - Hold on.

126. We'll go on the side door.

127. Excuse me, we're here for the O'Neal dinner.

128. Right this way.

129. 'Quiet dinner, huh?'

130. - Hey, guys. - Hey, Shaq!

131. I'm sorry, this turned into such a big blowout.

132. What can I tell you? Tracy strikes again.

133. - Do I know you? - Huh?

134. I was... So tall.

135. Uh, his name is Rich.

136. He's attached to us like fungus.

137. Nice to meet you, Rich. Listen, I just got this new

138. basketball videogame in my suite.

139. - Wanna check it out? - Yeah!

140. If we could just sneak out of here.

141. 'Oh, Shaquille?'

142. - Remember we're mingling. - But—

143. I've got the president of the Local Ladies auxiliary waiting.

144. - Over here. - So close.

145. You sure he's in there?

146. Oh, yeah. The place reeks of Static.

147. Then put this on and find him!

148. Oh...

149. Why do I have to do all the Hyde stuff?

150. Grrr!

151. Oh, that's right.

152. Shaquille has made this event a big success.

153. I'm tellin' you.

154. This party is about to blow up.

155. I get that all the time.

156. De-stress, V.

157. Might as well get our grubs on

158. while we wait for Shaq.

159. Oh, no! It's Ferret face.

160. Yo, V, what's Ferret doing here?

161. I got a bad feeling about this.

162. Static! Gotcha!

163. Aah!

164. - What-what's going on? - What happened?

165. Hyde, Kangor!

166. I had him, Hyde, I had him!

167. Excuse me.

168. But this happens to be a private party.

169. Where's Static?

170. 'I thought I had him, I mean...'

171. 'I mean he was right there...'

172. - Oh... - Grrr!

173. Agh!

174. - Virgil! - Richie!

175. Hurry!

176. Got 'em, Mr. H.

177. That way!

178. Oh...

179. Nice shot.

180. Uh-oh.

181. You're not leaving

182. until I say so.

183. We're going up again.

184. Aah!

185. Hey, driver, let's go.

186. Man, what was that about?

187. Welcome to Dakota.

188. It's believed that the metahumans

189. crashed Mr. O'Neal's party

190. in an attempt to rob his high-profile guest.

191. Though his two cohorts managed to escape

192. 'Ruffpack member Ferret was taken into custody.'

193. Hey! That's the dude who sniffed on me.

194. He wasn't robbing the place.

195. Um, maybe he had a bad head cold.

196. Nah, it was more like he was hunting somebody down.

197. Dude was on a serious search mission.

198. Hello?

199. Yes, Tracy?

200. No, Tracy, I've had my fill

201. of paparazzi for one night.

202. But Shaquille

203. the media are clamoring to hear

204. how you single-handedly captured

205. that icky Ferret person.

206. Gee, I wonder who told him that.

207. 'Now, don't be a crankypants.'

208. I bet an interview will make you feel better.

209. How fast can you get here?

210. Hello? Krrr!

211. Hello? Krrrr!

212. Tra... What? Shrrrr!

213. I think we got a bad connection.

214. I'll-I'll call you tomorrow!

215. Wait! Where are you?

216. Oh, jinkies!

217. Freedom.

218. That is, of you don't mind me staying here tonight.

219. Are you kidding? The night's still young, Shaq!

220. Oh, yeah! Up for a little two-on-one?

221. 12:00 midnight is not young.

222. You can play in the morning if Shaq has time.

223. 'Otherwise, we're all going to bed.'

224. Oh...

225. And you're going home in the limo.

226. "Aww..."

227. Oh...

228. Is that a dreamy cream donut

229. with cherry frosting?

230. You'll have plenty to eat when we reach the State pen.

231. Look out!

232. Thanks, fellas.

233. Who's up for a donut run?

234. Shaq?

235. Aah!

236. Shaq!

237. Shaq?

238. Shaq!

239. You're still here.

240. Mm-hmm-hmm.

241. Can't pass up homemade pancakes.

242. At least someone appreciates my cooking.

243. Yeah? Well, look at the size of him.

244. He'd eat the toaster if you put some salt on it.

245. So, Virg, we've got an hour

246. before I gotta be at the center.

247. Still wanna play some ball?

248. Can Mariah sing?

249. She's back.

250. Is there another way out of here?

251. Don't see any press people. Come on.

252. Safe at last.

253. Your talkin' feel like you been huntin', you know?

254. Whoa, did I just get a whiff!

255. Come on, let's find him and finish him.

256. I feel about leaving Sharon

257. to deal with Tracy like that.

258. Don't even stress, Diesel.

259. They're probably trying to outtalk each other right now.

260. At last.

261. What is this place?

262. The old community center. It's deserted.

263. They mostly use it for storage.

264. I figured no one's around so, we'll have some—

265. 'Whoo whoo!'

266. - Privacy. - Look at you.

267. Someone's drinking ' his milk.

268. Mornin', ma'am.

269. Hey, Shaq, heck of a game last week.

270. Thanks.

271. - Yo, Shaq. - Yo!

272. Man, where did they come from?

273. Seems like everyone's after you 24/7.

274. How can you stand it?

275. Well, it's like I have to be two people, you know?

276. First, there's Shaq, the superstar

277. then there's fans on my left, press on my right

278. the coach, the aged, oops! Another fan.

279. Just when things get a little too hectic...

280. I break out, find some daylight

281. and turn back into Shaquille

282. just your regular 7 foot guy.

283. You see, the trick is balancing the two lives.

284. I love being Shaq

285. but if I don't take time off for Shaquille...

286. it's not worth it.

287. - Know what I mean? - Yeah, I got you.

288. Shaq time again.

289. Let's see you d-up on this.

290. No chance.

291. I call that my "V" spin.

292. Hmm, you ready to start playin', Mr. Spin?

293. Gee, I thought we already were.

294. Um, o-on second thought

295. it's getting kinda late, Shaq.

296. Maybe we should go meet my pops, like, now!

297. You sure? 'Cause my watch—

298. - Stop. Let's run! - Hey!

299. He's really close, Hyde.

300. 'It's those freaks from the hotel.'

301. Uh, running might be good, after all.

302. This way!

303. I locked it. You stay here and I'll lead 'em away.

304. Wait a second.

305. That Ferret guy was sniffing you out

306. last night. Wasn't he? Why?

307. It's a long story, very long.

308. He's locked in, Hyde.

309. You hear that, Static?

310. 'We're gonna pull your plug.'

311. Static?

312. Remember what you said about living a double life?

313. Let's just say I can really relate.

314. I see.

315. Well, we'll just keep it on the down low.

316. Right now, I think you should get some help

317. while I try to hold 'em off.

318. I'll do that.

319. Where's Static?

320. I figure he got bored and went home.

321. I'm getting bored, too.

322. Keeping secrets, huh?

323. Ferret, chew it out of him.

324. Uh-uh, but that's Shaq!

325. Grrr!

326. Right.

327. I've got one word for you.

328. Mouthwash.

329. Aah!

330. Agh!

331. Gotta be careful with those machines.

332. Ooh!

333. - You okay? - Yeah.

334. They knocked me out of bounce.

335. Got you now, tough guy.

336. Time out, Ninja boy.

337. Ugh!

338. Way to play deep, big man.

339. Now, I get a free flow, leather face.

340. He's stuffed! He pops!

341. He hit!

342. Looks like we got in a game after all.

343. How's the weather up there?

344. I always wanted to say that.

345. And I want to especially thank Mr. H

346. for having me here today.

347. Unfortunately, I have a plane to catch.

348. But I take some great memories with me

349. mixing it up with Static

350. hanging with the Hawkins

351. but the best memory

352. is this fast game of hoops I had

353. with some dude called, Mr. Spin.

354. Now, he's a real player.

355. Wow.