Star vs. the Forces of Evil 4x9

1. - Okay.

2. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

3. Oh...

4. Okay.

5. Come on, come on.

6. Come on.

7. Ugh! You...

8. Attention, Mewmans.

9. It's The Ponyhead Show!

10. That's me.

11. What the...?

12. No!

13. And now your host.

14. It's...

15. - Ponyhead!

16. Oh, my goodness.

17. Stop it, stop it. You guys are too kind.

18. I'd like to welcome you all

19. to the very first ever Ponyhead Show,

20. starring me, Ponyhead.

21. And if y'all would shut up,

22. I'm going to tell you some jokes.

23. Clown nose.

24. Okay, well, this probably seems kind of weird,

25. but Ponyhead totally knows what she's doing.

26. And I'm... I'm so excited

27. she's going to put you on her show.

28. It's been a while since I've performed in front of an audience,

29. but if you think it's a good idea...

30. Oh, it's a good idea.

31. Look, Seahorse even set it up so that everyone can watch.

32. And we can gage how much the audience likes it.

33. And you're sure this'll get the public on my side?

34. Oh, I know it will.

35. If there's one thing Ponyhead knows, it's popularity.

36. And now...

37. staring contest.

38. You have been a great audience, but let's face it,

39. I've been an even greater host.

40. We'll be right back, so don't get lonely.

41. But first, a message from our sponsors.

42. The Ponyhead Show is brought to you

43. by the new Reflectacorp Mirror Deluxe.

44. To access your new mirror,

45. you just need to give a sample of your DNA.

46. Hold up right now.

47. What the heck is that?

48. Ponyhead, we talked about this.

49. Eclipsa's going to perform.

50. What? No.

51. I did not say anything about having her perform.

52. She's just supposed to be on the show,

53. like, you know, like, just, like, sit there and, like, just, like, be good.

54. Oh, don't worry, Ponyhead.

55. I've been practicing,

56. and I really think your audience is going to enjoy it.

57. Really? Do you think that right now?

58. Because here's what's tipping me off:

59. your guitar is made out of dead people, okay?

60. So that doesn't feel normal for me,

61. and it's not on brand with my show.

62. It looks cool.

63. Well, it looks like a pile of bones. We need get rid of that old thing.

64. We can take it off your hands.

65. You guys remember my sisters, Shonda and Shinda.

66. We're musicians too. We'll take good care of it.

67. Bye, Eclipsa.

68. Don't worry, girl, I know what I'm talking about.

69. And now, welcome back to The Ponyhead Show.

70. Oh, I'm on.

71. - Welcome back!

72. We have a great show for you tonight.

73. Do you like cooking? Do you also like Earth?

74. Because later in the show, we have Cooking with Earth Turd.

75. But first, you guys are so lucky,

76. because we have a very special celebrity guest.

77. Oh, my gosh, I am so excited to speak with her.

78. It's me! I'm the celebrity guest.

79. Why are we doing all this prep?

80. Aren't cooking shows fake?

81. Yeah— no, no, no, cooking shows are real.

82. Uh, wrestling is fake.

83. Can you pass me the salt?

84. Wait, what did you just say?

85. I said can you pass the salt?

86. No, before that.

87. Uh, I said that wrestling is fake.

88. Kelly?

89. Are you okay?

90. I have cramps.

91. Kelly?

92. Aw, man, Ponyhead sure is taking forever.

93. You ready for makeup, Eclipsa?

94. Oh, I didn't know I'm getting my makeup done.

95. It's nothing fancy.

96. It's just a touch-up before you go on.

97. Righty-ho.

98. When you tell your daughter

99. that she is beautiful...

100. you're saying to her,

101. "Who you are is how you look."

102. You are saying to her,

103. "The person you are on the inside,

104. the person who is good at roller skates,

105. the person whose beautiful singing voice

106. fills the halls of this home,

107. the person whose unparalleled drawing and painting abilities

108. is less important

109. than the person you appear to be."

110. Uh, Kelly?

111. I'm so sorry I—

112. Marco, why are you talking to my dressing room?

113. Oh, I... I thought you were in there.

114. I don't— anyway, I... I just want to say I'm sorry.

115. I— I didn't know you didn't know about wrestling.

116. Oh, no, it's fine. I'm over it.

117. Oh. Really?

118. Because it seems like you were upset.

119. No, no, I mean, you did ruin wrestling for me, that's true.

120. I just walked around and dealt with it.

121. Let's go make some sandwiches.

122. It's not like you've never ruined anything before.

123. What?

124. And, finally,

125. it's time for a very special segment

126. that I know you've all been waiting for.

127. It's self-defense your mama never taught you.

128. Ugh! Ponyhead!

129. Seahorse, go to commercial.

130. See that? It's all in the neck.

131. Whoa!

132. What? What are you doing?

133. We're on live television.

134. What am I doing? What are you doing?

135. Uh, I think I'm owning it.

136. Owning it? You are renting it at best.

137. Really, you're just making people mad.

138. They don't like this, Pony. And it is getting worse.

139. You asked me to make Eclipsa popular.

140. I'm going to make her popular.

141. Then why don't you put her on.

142. I can't put her on if she's not even here.

143. Oh, excuses— wait, where is she?

144. I don't know, but she's missing out.

145. Oh, no.

146. It's all about the 'tude, 'clipsa.

147. You got to be mean.

148. Yeah, you don't want to be understood.

149. You want to be feared.

150. Where's Eclipsa? What have you done with her?

151. How do I look?

152. Oh, that is more than just a touch-up.

153. I want my compact back.

154. Turn this garbage off!

155. What is wrong with these people?

156. If they don't like the show they could just turn it off.

157. Actually, they can't do that.

158. What? Why?

159. Oh, I hacked their compacts.

160. It's impossible for them to turn it off.

161. What? Why would you do that?

162. I'm so glad you asked.

163. You can do anything with Reflectacorp mobile technology.

164. Ugh!

165. Hey, Eclipsa, I am so sorry.

166. This is a train wreck.

167. Ponyhead is crazy. Why do I always forget that?

168. I think you should just back out of the show.

169. No, no, it's okay.

170. I want to go through with it.

171. In for a penny, in for a pound.

172. But this is a PR disaster.

173. How is that any different than the rest of my life?

174. At least I get the chance to formally introduce myself

175. to my people.

176. You know what? You're right.

177. Okay, Eclipsa, let's make them love you.

178. But first thing's first. This outfit.

179. No, no, I'm definitely changing out of it.

180. Oh, okay, good.

181. Then we'll make them love you.

182. So I asked him to buy me a 60,000 dollars necklace, obviously,

183. he was like, "You don't even have shoulders,

184. how are you going to wear a necklace?"

185. And I as all, "What? Have you ever seen a necklace?

186. It's not a jacket, it's for a neck.

187. And guess what? I have one, dummy."

188. And then I dumped him.

189. How many times you going to—?

190. Uh, hi.

191. I'm Eclipsa.

192. Queen.

193. Um... and I'm going to play a song here.

194. I wrote it.

195. Wow.

196. Ugh! Whoa, hold up. You guys like that?

197. (man) Give us back our compact!

198. Just give me a break!

199. Can you please give me back my phone!

200. Aah!

201. You could have just pulled the plug.

202. We should have pulled the plug a long time ago.

203. It's over? I never got to show off

204. my dad's recipe for tortas ahogadas.

205. You should come make it at my house sometime.

206. Sure.

207. Uh, Eclipsa,

208. that was an awesome song.

209. I'm sorry nobody else liked it.

210. I'm sorry I dragged you into this.

211. But don't worry,

212. we'll find a way to get the people of Mewni to love you.

213. Oh, don't be so hasty.

214. Every single one of my boyfriends hated me

215. before they loved me.

216. I don't have any regrets.

217. I'd rather be hated for who I am

218. than liked for who I pretend to be.

219. Wait, don't you want to be fake and hated?

220. Ah!

221. They're going to be here any second, people.

222. Delicious.

223. Beautiful.

224. Oh, yeah, you cover up those dark secrets.

225. Okay, now all we need is...

226. Eclipsa!

227. Eclipsa?

228. Here you go.

229. Good baby.

230. Eclipsa?

231. Star, help me!

232. I'm busy!

233. Archibald, have you seen Eclipsa?

234. Not since yesterday, Miss Butterfly.

235. Ugh! This is the first royal visit

236. since Eclipsa became queen.

237. We cannot afford to mess this up.

238. Oh, no!

239. They're here.

240. Hello, King, Queen and Princess Spiderbite.

241. Welcome to monster temp—

242. I mean, new butterfly castle.

243. Where's Queen Eclipsa?

244. Shouldn't she be the one to greet us?

245. Oh, my sincerest apologies on behalf of the queen.

246. She'll be here as soon as she can.

247. Well, I can't say that I'm surprised

248. that she's ignoring royal traditions.

249. King Spiderbite!

250. You've trimmed your beard, didn't you?

251. It looks great.

252. Thanks. It's full of spiders.

253. And Queen Spiderbite,

254. oh, beautiful gown.

255. It really brings out your glowing complexion.

256. Hey, Penelope.

257. Cool phone. Where'd you get it?

258. Sorry, did you say something?

259. Oh, look at that. The refreshments are here.

260. Your beverages, My Lords.

261. Please enjoy.

262. Hey, Archibald, can I talk to you for a second?

263. So, did you find her?

264. Not as yet.

265. I've been searching all over the castle.

266. Search harder!

267. - Well, I never... - The audacity.

268. Your Majesties!

269. I regret to inform you that the queen is still preoccupied,

270. but she hopes you will all enjoy

271. the awe-inspiring beauty that awaits.

272. This is one of Eclipsa's favorite parts of the castle,

273. the gallery of monster art.

274. Queen Spiderbite, someone told me

275. you were a fan of art history.

276. Well, you are going to love...

277. this thing.

278. No?

279. Okay. Oh!

280. Well, maybe you're more into abstract things.

281. Not a fan. Okay.

282. Hey, Penelope, how are you liking the tour?

283. Totally.

284. Will Eclipsa ever be joining us?

285. Who wants to see a little entertainment?

286. We've prepared something that will for sure blow you away.

287. This is a traditional monster dance,

288. beautifully performed by our very own

289. monster dance troupe.

290. Whoo-hoo!

291. Oh, amazing! Beautiful!

292. Encore! Encore!

293. Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

294. Whoo. Whoo.

295. Okay, you know, they actually worked really hard on that routine.

296. Yes, it looks like they spent weeks practicing.

297. But that doesn't mean that I have to like it.

298. Okay, you guys have had issues

299. with everything you've seen today.

300. And you won't stop texting.

301. Huh?

302. I know what this is about.

303. You guys have a problem with monsters.

304. And no matter what they do,

305. it's never going to be enough for you.

306. - Um... - Monsters are not the problem here.

307. Maybe you need to adjust your nasty attitudes.

308. Is this a bad time?

309. Hey, you made it.

310. Uh, what?

311. Sorry, Star, I was texting my boyfriend this whole time

312. so that he could meet up with us.

313. It took forever, because I kept losing my phone.

314. Slime is your boyfriend?

315. Slime, good to see you again.

316. How are you, dear?

317. Give me some of that slime, Slime.

318. Sure thing, King S.

319. But you guys hate monsters.

320. We have no problem with monsters.

321. Our problem is with Globgore.

322. Crusher of skulls. Plucker of limbs.

323. How can you live in this castle

324. and ignore his atrocities?

325. What? No, no, no, no. Those are just rumors.

326. So why is all the tableware

327. covered in Globgorian horror parties?

328. No, this is just cute monster decoration—

329. oh.

330. Then there's this artwork you showed us.

331. Did you even read the label?

332. Oh, that's what those are for.

333. And "The Cold Unfeeling Stare of Globgore",

334. subtitled, "He Will Eat You".

335. Or, "Globgore's Army

336. Burns Spiderbite Village to the Ground".

337. Boy, that got real specific.

338. And that dance you showed us

339. is a tribute to Globgore

340. eating my great-great-granduncle Shastacan.

341. Think you left out a few "greats".

342. No, No, Globgore's a vegetarian.

343. We only agreed to come today

344. because Penelope insisted we give you a chance.

345. But clearly nothing has changed.

346. But Eclipsa said...

347. That evil witch doesn't care about anyone but herself.

348. We all heard what happened between her and Rhombulus.

349. - But that— How do you know

350. - she won't try a stunt like that again? - I...

351. How can you trust her?

352. I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation

353. for all this.

354. And I will go find that out right now.

355. Eclipsa, where are you?

356. I need you!

357. Oh, duh, I summoned the all-seeing eye to tear a hole into the sky.

358. Reveal to me that which is hidden, unveil to me what is forbidden.

359. Gotcha!

360. Glossaryck, what about this one?

361. - No. - Okay.

362. - Well, this one, perhaps? - Nah.

363. You're not even looking.

364. Eclipsa!

365. - Star? - What do you think you're doing up here?

366. - I was just— - I'm sorry, did you say,

367. "I'm avoiding an important meeting with the Spiderbites"?

368. Oh, no! That was today?

369. Eclipsa, these alliances are important.

370. All the other kingdoms are terrified of you.

371. The Spiderbites are the only ones

372. who would even visit us,

373. and you just completely ditched them.

374. If you don't come talk to them right now,

375. you'll never convince anyone you're not the Queen of Darkness.

376. I'm so, so sorry. I lost track of time.

377. Your Majesty,

378. the Spiderbites, they're leaving.

379. - What? - What?

380. Wait!

381. Please, just wait one moment.

382. Your Majesties, allow me to express my sincerest apologies.

383. I never should have kept you waiting like that.

384. Well, we're not surprised.

385. This castle makes it quite clear that you only care for your Globgore.

386. I... I understand what this must look like.

387. The paintings, the mural.

388. The Dance of Death.

389. The Dance of Death?

390. You performed the Dance of Death?

391. I didn't know there was a dance of death.

392. I also didn't know that Globgore ate Shastacan.

393. The truth is a little more complex than that, but...

394. yes, he did.

395. I'm truly sorry for how terribly

396. I've treated you, Your Majesties.

397. And after what happened between me and Rhombulus,

398. it must be especially hard for you to trust me.

399. But I hope you will allow me to make it up to you.

400. In fact, I'd like to show you something.

401. I know that seeing this must be terrifying,

402. but let me assure you

403. Globgore is very much stuck in this crystal.

404. For the good of the kingdom, that is where he shall remain.

405. Oh, my.

406. You know, I've never actually seen Rhombulus's magic before.

407. It's really quite impressive.

408. He really is stuck in there, isn't he?

409. Oh, yes. There's no way he's getting out of this thing.

410. Thank you for showing us this, Eclipsa.

411. I feel a little more at ease now.

412. Yes, he's basically dead.

413. Well, I'm glad I could put your fears to rest.

414. It was lovely meeting you, Eclipsa.

415. And if you ever need allies, you have our support.

416. The other kingdoms might not be so easy to convince,

417. especially the Johanssons.

418. They'll be a nightmare.

419. But we wish you good luck.

420. Until next time.

421. - Goodbye. Thank you for coming. - Bye, now. See you next time.

422. Well, we narrowly avoided a total disaster.

423. That was a pretty nice save you pulled back there.

424. Well, I wouldn't have had to pull anything

425. if I'd been doing my job in the first place.

426. Yeah. What were you doing back there?

427. I was looking for The Book of Spells.

428. The Book of Spells?

429. Are you still looking for a way to free Globgore?

430. No, my dear.

431. There's nothing I can do for him now.

432. It's... it's just that I...

433. I'm not good enough at magic.

434. You've done some of the most powerful magic I've ever seen.

435. Thank you.

436. But I only know how to do magic that can help myself.

437. I need to learn magic that will help my kingdom.

438. I wish I could be more like you,

439. conjuring new spells that are all your own,

440. even without a wand.

441. I need the book to guide me.

442. Well, I hate to break it to you,

443. but that book is super gone.

444. Ludo burned it up ages ago.

445. But if any of it survived,

446. I might be able to bring it back.

447. Glossaryck has these wonderful little silk bugs

448. that can reconstruct anything from even the tiniest scrap.

449. Don't you, Glossaryck?

450. They're almost finished repairing my culottes

451. and they make a mean pair of underwear.

452. Yes, they're very crafty.

453. Are you sure there's no trace of the book left?

454. Anything you happened to find while wandering around the castle?

455. No.

456. No, not that I can think of.

457. Well, that's a pity.

458. Well, thank you for all your help today, Star.