1. Let the "Welcome Back Tom"
roof picnic begin!Copy !req
2. I made smoothies! I think.Copy !req
3. Ugh! That's disgusting.Copy !req
4. Try it!Copy !req
5. - Uh...
- Oh!Copy !req
6. And I made your favorite! Roof Eggs!Copy !req
7. Aaaah! Oh, no.Copy !req
8. Now they're Ground Eggs.Copy !req
9. Ah, I don't even care.Copy !req
10. I'm just stoked you're back.Copy !req
11. I wanna hear all about your trip!Copy !req
12. Oh! Oh, it was great!Copy !req
13. It kind of changed
my perspective on life.Copy !req
14. Um, speaking of which,
can I talk to you about something?Copy !req
15. Sure! What's up?Copy !req
16. Well, I've been doing
some soul searching lately.Copy !req
17. And I keep coming back to this feeling.Copy !req
18. - I-I feel like...
- (helicopter buzzing)Copy !req
19. like we should...Copy !req
20. - (drowned out by helicopter)
- I think we should break up.Copy !req
21. What's that?Copy !req
22. Oh, um,Copy !req
23. - (drowned out)
- I think we should see other people.Copy !req
24. What was that?Copy !req
25. - (drowned out)
- I said I think we should break up!Copy !req
26. Ohh! Winter Storm Hyper Blast!Copy !req
27. Ahh! Your highness has the floor.Copy !req
28. Um, Star?Copy !req
29. I think we should break up.Copy !req
30. Wait. Why?Copy !req
31. Okay, I know I'm not the best girlfriend,
but I'm definitely not the worst.Copy !req
32. I made you all this food,
and I even got you a present!Copy !req
33. It's a super rare black and white cat
named Mr. Panda Pants!Copy !req
34. Star, I appreciate the effort, but...Copy !req
35. - (purring)
- You know, at the end of the day,Copy !req
36. it's not about what you do
or what you don't do.Copy !req
37. It's about where you're headed.Copy !req
38. And you and me,
we're headed to different places.Copy !req
39. Well, at least
we'll always be friends, right?Copy !req
40. (Tom) No, I can't do that.Copy !req
41. You're a really great person.Copy !req
42. That's exactly why I think being friends
would be too painful for me.Copy !req
43. So, maybe I'll see you in another life.Copy !req
44. Where we're both cute panda cats.Copy !req
45. - (breeze blowing)
- Yeah.Copy !req
46. Uh, Tom? What are you doing?Copy !req
47. Just go already!Copy !req
48. I'm trying.Copy !req
49. Just having a little issue
with the fire column.Copy !req
50. Just, uh, don't look for a sec?Copy !req
51. - Really?
- Just do it!Copy !req
52. Ugh! (muttering)Copy !req
53. You're still there, aren't you?Copy !req
54. (laughs) Just, um... one more sec.Copy !req
55. Almost there. Just give it another...Copy !req
56. - Uhh...
- Aaaaaagh!Copy !req
57. Oh! All right, what is this?
What am I looking at here?Copy !req
58. Aaaaaagh!
Why isn't it working?Copy !req
59. Hey!Copy !req
60. Thomas Draconius Lucitor,
don't you...Copy !req
61. Aah! Aah!Copy !req
62. - What are you doing?
- I have no idea!Copy !req
63. Maybe the portal fire
needs more fuel or something.Copy !req
64. Is that really how it works?Copy !req
65. Probably not.
But I'm willing to give it a shot.Copy !req
66. Tom, no fire in the house!Copy !req
67. I think I figured out what's going on.Copy !req
68. You're super emotional right now,Copy !req
69. and it's probably interfering
with your powers.Copy !req
70. Ugh!Copy !req
71. Okay, well, fine!Copy !req
72. Do you think
maybe you could, you know...Copy !req
73. Uh...Copy !req
74. Oh! Yeah, yeah.
Of course. (laughs)Copy !req
75. One portal coming right up!Copy !req
76. Huh? What?Copy !req
77. - Arhghhhhh!
- Seriously?Copy !req
78. Well, I'm emotional now, too, okay?Copy !req
79. Coming!Copy !req
80. Hey, kids,Copy !req
81. I'm just here about the, uh...
police helicopter?Copy !req
82. Yeah, it seems to be frozen
in place over this here, uh, house.Copy !req
83. Oh, right, that.Copy !req
84. (Star) Sorry, my bad.Copy !req
85. But would you mind
coming back a little later?Copy !req
86. I'm kind of in the middle of something.Copy !req
87. Thank you for your cooperation.Copy !req
88. - Barb!
- Yeah, Boss!Copy !req
89. I'm just gonna skedaddle up to the roofCopy !req
90. and spend probably hours figuring out
what's going on up there.Copy !req
91. Ha ha!Copy !req
92. Okay, well, like I said,Copy !req
93. I'm right in the middle of something,
sooo do whatever you gotta do!Copy !req
94. (Mr. Diaz) Star!Copy !req
95. What is going on here?Copy !req
96. Uh, we're here
about the police helicopter.Copy !req
97. No, not you. Star, Tom!Copy !req
98. Why do you look so sad?Copy !req
99. Um...Copy !req
100. Tom and I broke up.Copy !req
101. What?Copy !req
102. (man on radio gasps) Over!Copy !req
103. Pero por qué?Copy !req
104. Uh, thank you, but what
we really need now is just...Copy !req
105. I know exactly what you need!Copy !req
106. (female operator) Thank you for calling
the Sad Teen Hotline.Copy !req
107. - (elevator music)
- What can I help you with today?Copy !req
108. Hello! I have two teens here in my house.Copy !req
109. They are now breaking up!Copy !req
110. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that!Copy !req
111. How are they holding up?Copy !req
112. Oh, they are devastated!Copy !req
113. One of them was crying,
and the other one looksCopy !req
114. - he might try...
- This is a nightmare.Copy !req
115. - ... to burn down the house...
- Oh, sweetie.Copy !req
116. It's just a part of life, you know?Copy !req
117. Me and Rafael broke up
literally hundreds of timesCopy !req
118. before we finally got married.Copy !req
119. Thank you for reminding me.Copy !req
120. Remember when we broke up
after Valentine's Day...Copy !req
121. Yeah, breakups are tough.Copy !req
122. Breaking up
with my high school sweetheartCopy !req
123. was the worst mistake of my life.Copy !req
124. I've never known true happinessCopy !req
125. ever since I got dumped
over 20 years ago.Copy !req
126. I'm sad a lot.Copy !req
127. Argh! I'm outta here!Copy !req
128. Hey, wait a minute!Copy !req
129. This could not have gone worse.Copy !req
130. Keep it together, Tom!Copy !req
131. You can do this.Copy !req
132. (exhales) Calming breaths.Copy !req
133. Calming breaths!
Calming breaths!Copy !req
134. (Tom) I said calming breaths!Copy !req
135. Tom, that's not going to work!Copy !req
136. Ugh! Look, I know you
don't like me anymore, but I still...Copy !req
137. I do still like you!Copy !req
138. Then why does this have
to be so difficult?Copy !req
139. Arrrgh, did you think
this was easy for me?Copy !req
140. This was probably
the hardest thing I've ever done!Copy !req
141. And being around you right now is...Copy !req
142. It's just like this huge reminderCopy !req
143. of how much I don't know what I'm doing.Copy !req
144. Oh, Tom, I'm sorry.Copy !req
145. I didn't mean to make you upset.Copy !req
146. I'm not upset!Copy !req
147. Okay, maybe I'm a little upset.Copy !req
148. (laughs) Here,
let me help you with that.Copy !req
149. Oh! Star!Copy !req
150. There we go.Copy !req
151. Man, this really stinks.Copy !req
152. Yes. This whole day
has just been... yikes.Copy !req
153. Yeah.Copy !req
154. What happens now?Copy !req
155. Well, I would still like
to be friends with you, Star.Copy !req
156. I-I just...Copy !req
157. I feel like I should be dating
someone who I could be best friends with.Copy !req
158. You already have one of those.Copy !req
159. Yeah. I understand.Copy !req
160. Hey, love birds!Copy !req
161. Am I back too early?Copy !req
162. Uggh! We were doing so well.Copy !req
163. I was walking around the mall
for, like, three hours.Copy !req
164. - So, I figured I'd... What?
- (heavy equipment beeping)Copy !req
165. Uh... whaaaat? Uh...Copy !req
166. Tom and I are breaking up.Copy !req
167. What? Why?Copy !req
168. It's... It's complicated,Copy !req
169. but it's... it's the right thing.Copy !req
170. For both of us.Copy !req
171. I should go. I feel like I'm ready now.Copy !req
172. Me, too.Copy !req
173. Oh. Hmm. Right.Copy !req
174. Catch you later, Starship.Copy !req
175. C'mon. I'll make you some nachos.Copy !req
176. That sounds pretty good.Copy !req
177. You know, I heard the new season
of "Fiesta de la Noche" is...Copy !req
178. (Tom) Aw, c'mon!Copy !req
179. Are you kidding?Copy !req
180. Ugggh!Copy !req
181. Guess what?Copy !req
182. No! Still?Copy !req
183. Still what?Copy !req
184. We've been trying
to open portals all day.Copy !req
185. But apparently
we're both too emotional to do it.Copy !req
186. Well... I'm not upset at all!Copy !req
187. What I mean is...Copy !req
188. I can help you!Copy !req
189. With my scissors!Copy !req
190. One non-emotional portal comin' up!Copy !req
191. (mimicking portal sound) Boosh!Copy !req
192. Um, Marco?Copy !req
193. Ha! Sorry, I, uh...Copy !req
194. Oh, c'mon, you stupid scissors!
What the...Copy !req
195. Come on, man.Copy !req
196. This has never happened to me before!Copy !req
197. (sigh) Of course.Copy !req
198. We infected Marco with our sad vibes.Copy !req
199. Wait, wait, wait.
So, what does that mean?Copy !req
200. I think it means you're stuck here.Copy !req
201. (Mr. Diaz) I just don't understand!Copy !req
202. - (elevator music)
- How could they throw awayCopy !req
203. their whole relationship like that?Copy !req
204. Is love... a lie?Copy !req
205. (Teen Sadness operator)
So, this Star and Tom,Copy !req
206. are they your friends from school?Copy !req
207. They are friends with my son, Marco!Copy !req
208. Wait, your son?Copy !req
209. I thought you were a sad teen!Copy !req
210. Oh, no, no, no.
I am a sad grown man.Copy !req
211. This hotline is for teens only.Copy !req
212. Psst. Hey, Tom. You awake?Copy !req
213. No.Copy !req
214. You're... But...
But you're talking right now.Copy !req
215. You're right.
Miraculously, I'm talking in my sleep.Copy !req
216. It's a demon power.Copy !req
217. Wait. Is-Is that a thing?Copy !req
218. Of course it isn't, Marco!
That'd be stupid.Copy !req
219. Okay, okay. Sorry for bothering you.Copy !req
220. No, look, I'm sorry, man. I-I just...Copy !req
221. I think I'm too emotionally exhausted
to hold a conversation right now.Copy !req
222. Dude. I get it.Copy !req
223. It took me months to get over Jackie.Copy !req
224. Yeah, but did it really?Copy !req
225. Yes, it did!Copy !req
226. And I get what you and Star
are going through.Copy !req
227. Thanks.Copy !req
228. I just... You know, I just hope I...Copy !req
229. I get some time.Copy !req
230. Some calm time without any...Copy !req
231. - Guys!
- (Tom) Gaaaah!Copy !req
232. Ohh! Please, use your hands!Copy !req
233. What's happening?Copy !req
234. I don't know, but something
super, super weird.Copy !req
235. It's not just the portals
that are all out of whack!Copy !req
236. Look! Call Mom!Copy !req
237. (female voice) Calling Mom.Copy !req
238. Um, maybe she's asleep?Copy !req
239. Uh-uh. Call Ponyhead!Copy !req
240. Calling Ponyhead.Copy !req
241. But Ponyhead?Copy !req
242. I mean, she stays up till at least 4 a.m.Copy !req
243. So... What?
Are our emotions doing this, too?Copy !req
244. No. There's definitely
something bigger going on here.Copy !req
245. I don't know what it means
or why it's happening,Copy !req
246. but I think it's really bad.Copy !req
247. We have to go back to Mewni.Copy !req
248. (whispering) Marco. Wake up.Copy !req
249. No.Copy !req
250. (whispering) I know the solution
to getting back to Mewni.Copy !req
251. It's Janna!Copy !req
252. Janna? (groans)Copy !req
253. Let's not talk about Janna
until I've had my morning tea.Copy !req
254. - (thud)
- Ow! Oww!Copy !req
255. - Don't you remember? Huh!
- Oh!Copy !req
256. Janna mysteriously showed up
on Mewni without a portal.Copy !req
257. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
258. We gotta wake up Tom.Copy !req
259. - Tom, wake up!
- (snoring)Copy !req
260. Tom?Copy !req
261. Oh. Look up.Copy !req
262. Ugh!Copy !req
263. - (female voice) Calling Janna.
- (Star) C'mon, Janna.Copy !req
264. Pick up your phone.Copy !req
265. - (ringing)
- Pick up, pick up, pick up!Copy !req
266. Aw, she'll never pick up.Copy !req
267. She's probably someplace super weird.Copy !req
268. Like a monster truck graveyard.Copy !req
269. - Yeah!
- Yeah.Copy !req
270. (Janna) Hello?Copy !req
271. Oh, thank goodness, Janna!Copy !req
272. Okay! Okay, listen to me very carefully!Copy !req
273. We are stuck on Earth.
The portals aren't working.Copy !req
274. You gotta tell me,
how did you get to Mewni?Copy !req
275. Yeah! We gotta get back, like, now!Copy !req
276. Something really bad is happening!Copy !req
277. (Janna) Wait, can you say that louder?Copy !req
278. Yeah, the reception here
is pretty bad.Copy !req
279. I'm at a monster truck graveyard.Copy !req
280. Listen to me carefully!Copy !req
281. How... did… you... get... to... Mewni?Copy !req
282. - I don't know. Bye.
- No, no, Janna, wait! Ugh!Copy !req
283. Arrrgh! Janna!Copy !req
284. Now what?Copy !req
285. We gotta wait
for the beast in her cave.Copy !req
286. It's so nice to finally meet
our Janna's friends.Copy !req
287. And each as unique as her it seems.Copy !req
288. So, did you meet
before the Canada trip?Copy !req
289. What's a Canada?Copy !req
290. Oh! Did I pronounce it wrong?Copy !req
291. Tala and I have never been,
so, you know.Copy !req
292. Janna says it's lovely.Copy !req
293. (sip)Copy !req
294. (sip)Copy !req
295. (sip)Copy !req
296. Are any of you dating?Copy !req
297. Hey, Mom, hey, Dad.Copy !req
298. Hi, sweetie!Copy !req
299. (all) Janna!Copy !req
300. Oh, geez.Copy !req
301. N-nice... Nice meeting you,
Mr. and Mrs. Janna!Copy !req
302. I hear Vancouver's nice.Copy !req
303. (all) Janna!Copy !req
304. I thought you kids respected
others' personal space.Copy !req
305. Welcome to my room, I guess.Copy !req
306. Wow, sweet digs.Copy !req
307. It's nicely creepy.Copy !req
308. So, how's the breakup going?Copy !req
309. What? That just happened!
How did you even know that?Copy !req
310. Oh, I hid a camera on Marco's body.Copy !req
311. What?Copy !req
312. Tom! Help me find
this illegal surveillance!Copy !req
313. No, no, dude,
I don't wanna get bugged!Copy !req
314. Guys! We can't get distracted by her...Copy !req
315. Jannanigans.Copy !req
316. Janna Banana,Copy !req
317. you know the seriousness
of this situation.Copy !req
318. And you know you're our last hope.Copy !req
319. So, please,
how did you get to Mewni?Copy !req
320. I don't remember.Copy !req
321. Aaahhhhhh!Copy !req
322. No, really. Look.Copy !req
323. All I remember from that day
is that it was a Thursday.Copy !req
324. A totally normal Thursday.Copy !req
325. All right. I'm scared to ask.Copy !req
326. But what is
a "normal" Thursday like for Janna?Copy !req
327. Thursday is garbage day.Copy !req
328. So, you bring your garbage
to your neighbor's garage?Copy !req
329. To feed the possums.Copy !req
330. You're not supposed
to feed these things!Copy !req
331. - If I don't, they'll come to my garage.
- No! No! That's my leg!Copy !req
332. - So, what happened next?
- (Tom and Marco screaming)Copy !req
333. Well, usually these rascals
tear up my hat.Copy !req
334. And then I have to go get
a new one from Needles.Copy !req
335. Who's Needles?Copy !req
336. He's the man
who runs these streets.Copy !req
337. Whoa, whoa, Janna!Copy !req
338. You know the boss
isn't happy with you.Copy !req
339. He who gives shall never need.Copy !req
340. He who takes
shall forever bleed.Copy !req
341. It ain't my fault
if you leave here in crutches.Copy !req
342. Come on.Copy !req
343. I don't like the sound
of this Needles.Copy !req
344. - Hey! Quiet in the back!
- Show some respect.Copy !req
345. Janna! What's up!Copy !req
346. Hey, Needles.Copy !req
347. Looks like you need a new hat.Copy !req
348. Looks right.Copy !req
349. But you still owe me
for the last one I made you.Copy !req
350. Don't forget, you're in the red.Copy !req
351. Oh, dang.
I never got you the goods.Copy !req
352. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
353. And you know what that means.Copy !req
354. Omega One doesn't have
any tennis balls!Copy !req
355. Tennis balls?Copy !req
356. Yeah. Needles knits my hatsCopy !req
357. that I pay for with tennis balls.Copy !req
358. Standard back alley deal.Copy !req
359. Yeah, standard back alley deal!
You know what it is.Copy !req
360. A normal thing. That's how we do it.Copy !req
361. We don't have time for this!
We gotta get to Mewni!Copy !req
362. Guess what? You better make some time.Copy !req
363. Or Bland Man over hereCopy !req
364. is gonna get broke
like a breadstick! Crack!Copy !req
365. What? Who? Me?Copy !req
366. Or maybe we can make
a deal for these sweet horns!Copy !req
367. I could make a real nice hat with those.Copy !req
368. - Hand 'em over!
- Hey!Copy !req
369. Cool it, Needles. My crew and I
will get you the goods.Copy !req
370. Oooh, that's a fresh one.Copy !req
371. Just about a hundred more to go!Copy !req
372. Man. A week ago,
I was staring at a thousand sunsetsCopy !req
373. in the dimension
with a thousand sunsets.Copy !req
374. And now I'm here
picking up tennis balls.Copy !req
375. Yeah, sorry it ended like this.Copy !req
376. It's cool.Copy !req
377. And you know what? We're cool.Copy !req
378. Wait, were we not?Copy !req
379. Well, with Star and I broken up now,Copy !req
380. just saying, it's cool if...Copy !req
381. If what?Copy !req
382. I mean, if you and your best friendCopy !req
383. ended up being something else,Copy !req
384. I wouldn't be mad.Copy !req
385. What?Copy !req
386. Tom! The Blood Moon Curse
has been lifted.Copy !req
387. I mean, you were there.Copy !req
388. Come on, dude.Copy !req
389. I think we both know
that what you two haveCopy !req
390. is something better than a curse.Copy !req
391. - Guys!
- Aah!Copy !req
392. I think we gotta...
What are you staring at?Copy !req
393. Uh. (mumbles gibberish)Copy !req
394. I think we gotta
put some pressure on her.Copy !req
395. This is getting ridiculous.Copy !req
396. Janna! How can you
not be taking this seriously?Copy !req
397. Mewni might be in trouble!Copy !req
398. You're wasting so much time!Copy !req
399. Well, excuse me, Bland Man! Geez!Copy !req
400. Hey! That's not my name!Copy !req
401. What part of "I don't remember
how I got to Mewni"Copy !req
402. do you guys not understand?Copy !req
403. You guys just do not get it!Copy !req
404. I am the author of my own weirdness!Copy !req
405. But forgetting how I got to Mewni
was totally out of my control,Copy !req
406. and it freaks me out!Copy !req
407. Aw, Janna...Copy !req
408. I'm sorry I can't help you guys out,
I really am.Copy !req
409. I just cannot remember
what happened that dayCopy !req
410. for the life of me.Copy !req
411. Janna, I'm...Copy !req
412. I didn't realize how much all of this
was affecting you.Copy !req
413. Plus, I didn't realize
that you actually had human emotions.Copy !req
414. Yeah. Me, neither.Copy !req
415. C'mon. Let's...
Let's just take a break.Copy !req
416. Well, collecting tennis balls
does make me hungry.Copy !req
417. Okay, party people, I got your grub.Copy !req
418. Taco-o-o-o for Mango-o-o-o!Copy !req
419. Ha, ha, all right.Copy !req
420. And for the lady... wait a second!Copy !req
421. Your name wouldn't happen
to be Janna, would it?Copy !req
422. No. It's Banana.Copy !req
423. Okay. Cool.Copy !req
424. All I know is I'm supposed
to refuse serviceCopy !req
425. to someone named Janna.Copy !req
426. Can't be too careful!Copy !req
427. I know, right? Dangerous world!Copy !req
428. But, as they say,
"Enjoy your horchata. "Copy !req
429. So, you just havin'
horchata today, huh, Star?Copy !req
430. I'm just too stressed to eat right now.Copy !req
431. I mean, we have no idea
what's happening on Mewni.Copy !req
432. Why do you have
to put hot sauce on every bite?Copy !req
433. Why don't you just put it
on the whole taco all at once?Copy !req
434. Whoo! Habanero sauce
makes me sweat like a beast!Copy !req
435. Pfft! Hey! That's my shirt!Copy !req
436. What are you talking about?Copy !req
437. This is the 200 taco punch card
Mystery Prize!Copy !req
438. And it's mine!Copy !req
439. Just look at it!Copy !req
440. See?Copy !req
441. (gasp) Guys! I remember.Copy !req
442. You remember stealing my shirt?Copy !req
443. No! Shh, shh, shh! Marco!Copy !req
444. You'll break her train of thought!Copy !req
445. After I collected the tennis balls,Copy !req
446. I stopped by here
on my way back to NeedlesCopy !req
447. and saw a promo
for the 200 taco Mystery Prize.Copy !req
448. And I figured,
"Hey, this girl has eatenCopy !req
449. at least 200 tacos
over the course of her lifetime,"Copy !req
450. so they already owed me the prize.Copy !req
451. But they didn't see it that way.Copy !req
452. So, I claimed what was mine.Copy !req
453. I went to the back door and...Copy !req
454. Omph! Omph! Omph!Copy !req
455. Hello? Huhhh!Copy !req
456. Okay, at Britta's,Copy !req
457. they always keep the Mystery Prize
in the supply closet,Copy !req
458. so, I forced open the door.Copy !req
459. Yup! Sure enough! Forced entry!Copy !req
460. And this is where it gets weird!Copy !req
461. I went down this creepy ladder.Copy !req
462. Yeah, I think they age
their meat down here.Copy !req
463. Oh, yeah, this is looking familiar.Copy !req
464. Are those dinosaur bones?Copy !req
465. Man, this place is downright homey!Copy !req
466. Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Oof!Copy !req
467. - (gasp) Tennis balls!
- Tennis balls!Copy !req
468. Ah, and here it is!Copy !req
469. Where I got my new shirt!Copy !req
470. And then I guess I saw
this dumb wall with graffiti.Copy !req
471. Whoaa!Copy !req
472. (Marco) I don't think that's graffiti.Copy !req
473. Glossaryck?Copy !req
474. Janna, what happened next?Copy !req
475. (chuckles) I guess I was here.Copy !req
476. - Aaah!
- (splash)Copy !req
477. Are you okay?Copy !req
478. Yeah. I just, uh, fell
into some secret sauce.Copy !req
479. Uh, I don't think that's secret sauce.Copy !req
480. - Oof!
- Oof!Copy !req
481. Hey!Copy !req
482. Let's see what's up there.Copy !req
483. You guys, I've seen these before!Copy !req
484. This is a wellCopy !req
485. that leads to the magic.Copy !req
486. (gasp) Now I remember!Copy !req